discovering your Y is just the beginning
in order to enjoy all the benefits of
having a clearly articulated Y you’ll
need to have the courage and discipline
to use it like Thomas Edison said vision
with that execution is hallucination
there is an ideal order for implementing
your Y though sometimes reality does get
in the way and it all starts with you
our natural tendency is to start with
the tangible we define our value by what
we do so it takes practice to start with
Y like riding a bicycle at first we’re
unsure unsteady we’re in our heads
thinking about all the things we need to
do pedal fast keep enough speed so we
don’t fall over we have to really
concentrate we may even fall over you
can scrape our knees but we get back on
the bike and try again and eventually it
becomes natural
starting with Y is no different at first
it feels awkward it may not even work
but with practice it will become so
natural that you won’t even be able to
imagine a time when you couldn’t do it
just like riding a bicycle in time your
Y will act as a filter for many of the
decisions and choices you make it
becomes a tool to help you find a job or
seize an opportunity in which you’re
more likely to succeed it removes a lot
of the guessing here’s a metaphor to
show you what I mean it’s called the
celery test we’re constantly asking
people for their advice on what to do or
how to do it it’s like going to a dinner
party and somebody says do you know what
you need you need M&Ms we’ve done so
well with M&Ms you’ve got to use M&Ms
somebody else says to us rice milk in
this economy you have to use rice milk
someone else says to us Kit Kats you
have to use Kit Kats and somebody else
says to you it’s all about celery we go
to the supermarket with all this good
advice from all these smart people with
brilliant case studies and we buy
everything we’ve I’d kick cats and M&Ms
celery and rice milk there’s a lot of
time we spend at the supermarket and a
lot of money we spend at the supermarket
and when we get to the checkout line
we’re standing there with all these
products in our hands and no one can see
what we believe because we bought
everything
but let’s imagine we know ry let’s
imagine our wise to always be healthy
and only do things that protect the
health of our bodies
now which products do we buy given all
the same advice from all the same smart
people this time we only buy celery and
we only buy rice milk they’re the only
two that makes sense we spend less time
and less money at the supermarket and
when we’re standing there in line with
only celery and only rice milk now
people can see what we believe somebody
walking past can say hey I can see that
you’re healthy so am I you just
attracted an opportunity or a referral
or a friend simply by saying and doing
the things that you believe and the best
part is it’s scalable as soon as I said
the y-you knew exactly which products we
were going to buy this means the more
you can articulate your why the more
others will know what you stand for and
will be able to help you make the right
decisions from now on you will work to
ensure everything you do is a good fit
if you do too many things that aren’t a
good fit you’ll feel uncomfortable and
people will feel that you’re being
inauthentic
on the other hand when you start with
why your ability to stand out find
support and work to all your natural
strengths will flourish with practice
you will learn to trust your Y you will
eventually start to see your job and the
things you do as ways to breathe life
into your cause and the better you get
at it the more you will feel that your
life and everything you do has purpose
the best way to implement your Y is to
work in it slowly you don’t have to do
all the tips we suggest what is
important is that you pick up 2/3 and
commit to practicing and using them now
I’ll tell you another story it’s a
personal story it’s not one that I share
very often and it profoundly changed the
course of my life in August of 2011 I
had the opportunity to visit Afghanistan
with the United States Air Force I had
done some work with the mobility forces
these the people that fly the tankers
and the cargo planes and Air Force One
all the big planes and the general said
to me Simon you’ve gotten to know us
quite well it would mean a lot to me if
you would go to either Iraq or
Afghanistan to see our men and women
perform their mission would you be
willing to go so I said yes
they picked Afghanistan now I didn’t
tell my parents where I was going
because I didn’t want them to worry I
told them I was going away with the
airforce true I told them I was going to
be out of touch for a while because I
was gonna be on a lot of planes true I
told them I was going to Germany true I
just didn’t tell them from Germany I was
going to Afghanistan and I had no
responsibility I was simply going as an
observer I had two officers who were
assigned to be my escorts and we met
basically for the first time at Penn
Station in Philadelphia where we drove
to Dover Air Force Base where we would
leave for Germany we took a big c5 cargo
plane in Germany we changed planes and
we got on a kc-135 tanker built in 1956
where we flew to Bagram we landed in the
middle of the night we touched down and
the big door on the side of the plane
had opened but we hadn’t gotten off the
plane yet we’d been on the we’d been on
the ground for maybe ten minutes and the
base came under rocket attack three
rockets hit a hundred yards off our nose
this is how my trip began now if you’ve
ever been in a war zone for those of you
in the room who have ever been in a war
zone you have you know this you have all
the feelings you’re supposed to have you
just don’t have them at the right times
weirdly I was incredibly relaxed and
maybe that’s because the people I was
with were incredibly relaxed and I felt
safe we revenge the panic came later
we’re eventually given the all-clear and
we went to our housing now the purpose
of being in Afghanistan we were gonna be
in the country for up to 30 hours and
the goal was to witness an airdrop
mission they’re not regularly scheduled
so we had to find out if there was one
as soon as we got there and it turns out
there was one first thing in the morning
so we got about two and a half hours
three hours of sleep and we went and got
on this airdrop mission which was
incredible we sat in the back of a c-17
we flew about an hour and a half two
hours out to the middle of nowhere
Afghanistan the plane dropped down to
about 2,000 feet the back door opened
and we sat there and watched as cargo
flew at the back so we could resupply an
army Forward Operating Base it was an
amazing amazing experience we then flew
back to Bagram and the goal was to come
back home there’s no regularly scheduled
flight so we have to sort of find out
what flights we can get on it’s always
up to the discretion of the pilots we
found a flight that was leaving shortly
after we got back and so we asked the
pilots and they said absolutely we can
join their flight and we waited and
waited and waited and waited in a waited
and waited and eventually we got on the
plane we were all strapped in literally
five minutes from leaving and the pilot
walked up to us and said I’m sorry we
need to bump you guys we need to make
more room for stretchers it was carrying
wounded warriors out of out of theatres
and they needed our space if there’s
ever a good reason to get bumped off a
plane this was it so we got off the
plane and we went to look for another
flight and that’s when we found out
there were no other flights until
Tuesday and this was only Saturday I was
gonna get stuck in Afghanistan for at
least four days maybe longer because we
don’t know what we’re gonna get on on
Tuesday and I have no way of telling my
parents they’re not gonna hear from me
on the date that I told them that I
would get home immediately
every fiber of my being sank and I
remember becoming completely panicked
and completely preoccupied with one
thing my happiness my safety and my
comfort and I didn’t care who had to go
out of their way to get me what I wanted
I remember there was a public affairs
officer who said I can get you to
Kyrgyzstan but you don’t have the right
visa and I looked at him and I said you
get me on that plane I don’t talk to
people like that and I could see myself
becoming this person that I hated some
of us in the room have worked for
somebody in our careers who wants the
next promotion and they don’t care that
they have to tie our turn our lives
upside down so they can get what they
want I was becoming that person we went
back to our housing and I lay down on
the bed and closed my eyes my mind was
racing I was convinced that there’d be
another rocket attack on the base I was
convinced that I was gonna get hit I was
convinced that my parents were gonna
find out that I was in Afghanistan when
an armed an air force officer knocks on
the door I was convinced paranoia fear
everything that you can imagine swept
over me one of the officers that I was
traveling with said I’m gonna see if I
can get us on another flight and he left
the room the other officer thinking I
was asleep just because my eyes were
closed said well I’m gonna go to the gym
then and he walked out and turned off
the lights for me I couldn’t sleep
my mind was racing all I wanted to do
was get out of there I regretted saying
yes I regretted being there I didn’t
want to be there I’m in the purpose
business I write and talk about this
sense of Y and sense of purpose in our
lives so I started to remind myself
Simon you need a purpose you don’t have
a purpose you need a purpose so I
started inventing one you’re here to
tell their story
it worked for like a few minutes and
then it would slide back into my fear
and panic again
and I realized what was happening to me
is I was living the equivalent of an
unfulfilled life compressed into 24
hours I had an amazing day I got to see
something that most people will never
get to see in their entire lives except
I didn’t want to wake up and do it again
the next day and I think many of us do
the same thing we can we confuse moments
of happiness with joy and fulfillment we
confuse winning a piece of business
getting a promotion getting an award
getting recognition doing well on a test
with actual deep fulfillment those
experiences are wonderful but happiness
is fleeting there’s not a single person
in this room absolutely zero who’s
walking around with an amazing sense of
accomplishment for that test that you
aced a year ago that feeling is gone
fulfillment is something entirely
different it’s something you carry with
you on a daily basis whether you’re
enjoying the day or not it’s like loving
your family you may not like your family
every day but you love your family every
day one is fleeting the other is lasting
and this is what was happening to me I’d
realized that I had this amazing day and
I was confusing happiness and
fulfillment and so I gave up I lay in
that bed paranoid scared and depressed
and I literally gave up I decided that
if I was gonna get stuck here I might as
well make myself useful and so I decided
I was gonna volunteer I would speak
anywhere they wanted me to speak I would
carry boxes and sweep floors all I
wanted to do was serve some of those
amazing people that I’d met on this trip
I wanted to serve those who served
others and instantly this incredible
calm came over me I was even excited
this is what fulfillment means it’s not
the fleeting Joy’s that we may
experience it’s not the accomplishments
that we achieve it’s the opportunity to
serve those
who serve others and upon making this
realization I had nothing but joy and
calm and excitement in peace
it was like a movie that timing was
uncanny
upon making this amazing realization the
door flung open and it was major
Throckmorton he said I got us on a
flight that’s been a flight that’s been
redirected but we have to go now we have
to go now we don’t leave now they’re
gonna leave without us where’s Matt I
said he’s at the gym so he ran to the
gym we got him off the treadmill we ran
back no time to shower he put his
uniform back on we grabbed all our stuff
and we ran out to the flight line when
we got out to the flight line we could
see the plane we were gonna go we’re
gonna take home see big c-17 it was
sitting right out there on the tarmac
and as soon as we got there a security
cordon came down and they wouldn’t let
us out to the plane because somewhere
else on base they were having a fallen
soldier ceremony and out of respect when
they have the fallen soldiers ceremony
everything stops oh and so say we we sat
on the curb and waited and I told the
guys what I had gone through in the bed
just moments ago and I cried like a baby
and this is one of the things a lot of
people don’t realize about the military
crying is just fine those guys kept me
safe not just physically they made me
feel safe and I felt totally comfortable
telling them what I was going through
and how I felt
eventually the security cordon came up
and they led us out to the plane we
would be the only three passengers
aboard this plane other than the crew
what I didn’t tell you is the reason the
flight was redirected he’s because we
would be tearing home the fallen soldier
for whom they just had the ceremony the
army brought the flag draped casket a
bun on board all the airforce crews
stood in a line at perfect attention I’m
a civilian I put my hand on my heart I
felt kind of stupid so I stood at
attention with the Air Force crew as the
army laid the casket in the middle of
the aircraft they all did a very slow
they marched off the plane and we
watched them hugging and crying as they
walked away the crew got to work
strapping this precious cargo down we
then had a nine and a half hour
overnight flight back to Germany where I
slept right next to this casket on every
other plane I went on we talked we joked
barely a word was spoken in nearly 10
hours on every other flight I visited
the cockpit and hung out with the crew I
didn’t visit the cockpit once and I will
tell you was one of the greatest honors
of my life having just gone through this
incredibly strange experience on the
ground I had the honor of bringing home
somebody who understands service much
deeper than I will ever understand it
serve those who serve others and you
will live a life of joy and fulfillment
even though I myself I’m a photographer
so I have that visual aspect I’m a huge
fan of modern dance and spend a lot of
time sort of with dancers and in the
dance world and have you know tried my
hand at choreography just to see you
know I’m not good but I like the idea of
trying it you know and and so for me
it’s about perspective which is when I
when you hang out with dancers and you
you know you sort of learn to dance a
little bit or you learn to choreograph a
little bit or you learn to paint a
little bit you know I’m not a painter
but I painted a painting recently you
know you know if you if you understeery
you know everything’s connected right
you know it’s like we conveniently
divide up our lives like here’s my
personal life is my professional life
I’m you know here’s my social life I’m
looking to find balance it’s just you
you know and all the same things apply
and so if you feel good here you can
apply what you learn here to there you
know and so when you when you learn how
things interconnect and in people and to
connect them how human relationships
working and presence I mean you want to
learn about presence take a dance class
you learn all about how to present
yourself and be forwards you’re gonna
take an acting class learn how to you
know present your speech people say
Simon how’d you learn this is like I’m
exposed to all of this so the tools I’ve
learned have just mainly been different
perspectives on how other people use
their creative talents to see the world
and if I can get little pieces of those
they they helped me in many men
frontways mentorship is not something
you ask somebody to do like will you be
my friend it doesn’t work like that when
you find somebody you get along with you
share values your shared beliefs you
spend time with him you get to know them
you develop trust you take your
vulnerable with him you open up to them
and you discover that you become friends
it’s what happens you start off as
simply acquaintances in my experience
mentorship is exactly the same there
were people who were much more
experienced than me who had wisdom that
I didn’t have and I when I would call
him they would take my calls and when I
would ask them questions they would
always take the time to give me answers
and over the course of time they became
my mentors like they became my friends
and I remember one time I was with one
of my mentors Ron brooder an amazing guy
and I was leaving his house and I put my
arm around him I said you know I’m glad
you’re my mentor and he looked at me and
he said I’m glad you’re mine and it
caught me completely off guard and true
mentorship like true friendship is not a
one-way street
it’s not about one person only giving
advice the other both people are sharing
up to give and both people are showing
up to learn but you kind of someone to
be your mentor especially someone who’s
a total stranger knock on their door and
say will you be my mentor if they don’t
know you you’ve never met them it’s like
friendship you cultivate a relationship
and if that person is always there for
you and wants to see you thrive and
succeed and believes in you then perhaps
they will become your mentor like making
a friend to be a leader requires one
thing and one thing only followers
that’s it
it has nothing to do nothing to do with
rank or title it has to do with whether
others are going to choose the volunteer
raise their hands and volunteer to go in
the direction that you set we can force
people to do things we can whip them
into shape or offer them all kinds of
carrots and sticks to get them to do
things but the end of the day a true
leader is the one where others raise
their hand and says and say I will
follow you the question is why should
anyone follow you now the human animal
is like a company if we want to get
certain behaviors out of the
organization out of people we give them
certain incentives or disincentives we
are exactly the same if you want someone
to perform if you want them to hit a
goal we set the target we set the goal
we offer them some sort of bonus if they
get there and we incentivize the
behavior if we threaten someone with a
punishment we disincentivize the
behavior wait till your father comes
home you know anyone who’s a parent with
gold stars or bonuses or all kinds of
things where we used to this this is
normal the human body works exactly the
same way if you’ve ever had a feeling of
love trust joy fulfillment status pride
those are all chemically produced
feelings they’re chemically produced
incentives trying to get us the human
bodies trying to get us to do certain
things to get us to cooperate tangible
matters we can only we can only see the
things we have words for right and this
is why the leader must provide a clear
vision why are we doing this why are we
in business in the first place what is
the point of growing the company that
you’re growing everybody talks
what’s your growth what’s the point of
the growth in other words you have a
company why do you have that company
what is the value your company is
offering to others and and what what do
you want your company to leave behind
when you’re gone there has to be a
purpose for why your company exists
beyond the things you make beyond the
things you do beyond the money you make
you had the purpose when you founded the
company otherwise you wouldn’t have
taken the crazy risk to start it with
the overwhelming chance of failure and
people wouldn’t have given you blood
sweat and tears if they didn’t believe
in you because you were the Alpha you
had the vision you had the strength and
they wanted your protection and they
joined you and they gave you their blood
sweat and tears because
you gave them a sense of purpose and
belonging and protection you have to
know why you do what you do and this is
what the leaders do and the more they
can put it into words the clearer they
can put it into the words the more we
can see it again we can only see the
things we have words for and so when you
can put these things into words other
people can see them I have a dream
Martin Luther King put into words the
vision seeing he had the rest of us
could see it too and now could focus all
of our attention all of our efforts on
getting it done and every metric and
this is the purpose of metrics every
metric we use is too is too is it’s not
about the metric metrics are supposed to
measure progress in other words each
metric is the tree getting a little
bigger each each metric is us getting a
little closer to the gazelle we get
another little shot of dopamine each
metric shows us that we’re getting
closer to the vision it’s not just about
the numbers at the end of the year how
do we do we’re up good towards what
towards what we don’t know what we’re
getting closer to and it makes work
unfulfilled
don’t know what we’re working towards
dopamine we don’t care if we let down
the goal like if we have a goal that we
have to achieve for work and we missed
the goal do we feel bad that we let the
numbers down no we feel bad that we let
somebody we love down we feel bad that
we let down our boss we let down our
parents we let down our coach we let
down our drill instructor we feel bad
when we let down a human being
accountability is never to a number
accountability is to a person and if
there is no relationship with the person
who’s supposed to look after us on the
postman we’re supposed to be working for
then we don’t feel accountable and this
is where leadership becomes really
really important
you see when we give selflessly to those
in our tribe offering them protection
because that’s all anybody wants at work
they want to feel safe comfortable
protected think about it as a parent you
know back in those days there were no
countries there were no corporations
there were no companies they didn’t
exist there’s only one thing that
pre-existed all of those things the
family that’s all we had each other
think about it what do we say to our
children
you don’t get to choose your children
some of them are funny-looking some of
them not that smart
okay those the kids you got sorry you
get to pick your employees we don’t get
to pick your children and yet it doesn’t
matter who your kids are whether they’re
the best looking or not whether the
smartest or not whether they’re
strongest or not you give them undying
love and you don’t point out their
weaknesses if you’re a good parent you
point out their strengths if you’re a
good parent you encourage them to do the
things that they’re good at and you hold
them up and sometimes you let them fail
and learn for themselves and sometimes
you discipline them and sometimes you
prop them up and sometimes you push them
and sometimes you let them go and more
than anything else all we want for our
children is to achieve more than we
could have achieved and we will do that
by providing them support a feeling of
safety a feeling of protection well
guess what
it ain’t no different at work stop
saying our company is like a family it
is a family and you are the mother and
you are the father and the minute you
hire someone you must give them undying
love and you must work tirelessly to see
that they can achieve more than you
could ever have imagined yourself
achieving those are the best leaders
that’s what it means to be a servant
leader any company any CEO that says to
me proudly we put our customers first I
always say then that means you put your
employees at least second we put people
first human beings come first not
numbers we sacrifice people to save the
numbers but we don’t sacrifice the
numbers to save the people a little bit
backwards and yet when we are willing to
sacrifice the numbers to save people you
watch what happens to the people there’s
a guy by the name of Bob Chapman in
Saint Louis Missouri
who runs a company called
barry-wehmiller so 1.6 billion dollar
private company with 20% year-over-year
growth for the past 20 years Warren
Buffett has 6% what is Bob’s secret he
is obsessed about people he doesn’t even
talk about what his company does it
happens to be heavy manufacturing large
capital expenditure machinery
when kimberly-clark wants to buy a
machine to make toilet paper they make
the machine huge huge blue collar you
know sort of good old-fashioned American
manufacturing when the when the
financial crisis hit Bub’s company lost
thirty percent of their revenues off the
top boom gone they could not afford
their labor pool at all and so they sat
down and they said oh my god do we have
to have layoffs and Bob refused and so
they implemented a furlough program
where every employee from CEO to
secretary had to take four weeks of
unpaid time off they didn’t have to take
it consecutively and they could take it
whenever they wanted those who could
afford it more would trade with those
who could afford it less it was
remarkable and Bob told the company it’s
better we should all suffer a little
than any of us should have to suffer a
lot as human beings we are biologically
designed to cooperate and we want to
help each other when you give someone
the responsibility when you put them in
a position of power or authority for
their responsibilities they rise up why
because we all want to feel that our
lives have value we all want to feel
that our lives and the work that we do
is valuable to the tribe we all want to
know that our company needs us but we
don’t make people feel needed needed and
we don’t make their work feel necessary
because we take all the responsibility
we don’t let them have it and when
people feel fulfilled when we make them
feel necessary they feel proud because
something got done because they were a
part of it they will give more and more
and more and more people in the Marine
Corps are willing to give their lives to
people they barely know because they’ve
learned to trust each other when you
show up at Parris Island or in San Diego
for the first day of boot camp and
you’re standing there on a yellow
footprints the drill instructor will
yell in your face this far away from you
the first words they hear the words I’m
Imai are no longer in your vocabulary
they will be replaced with we together
and us they are taught that success does
not come by yourself it only comes in a
group there’s an old African proverb to
go fast go alone to go far go together
we’re all talking about how quickly
we’re
growing our companies but how long will
your company last 80% of the Dow index
are 35 years or younger sure we build
fast growing companies but they don’t
last I watched it I watched I went to
the crucible and watched these Marines
the crucible is their final test before
they become Marines they’re out for 56
hours they get three meals a total of
eight hours sleep the entire time
they’re exhausted they’re tired they’re
dirty they’re working hard and you watch
a fire squad of four guys making their
way under barbed wire and shots fired
and all of this mayhem ins dirt and sand
and it’s crazy and they’re dragging
themselves across the dirt and one of
the guys is tired and starts falling
back but they have to achieve the
mission they’ve got to get to the other
side but what do they do they stop they
go back they grab his webbing and they
pull they slowed themselves down because
they’d rather slow down with all four
then go fast with three to go fast go
alone to go far go together next time
somebody says what are your goals
stop saying to increase top-line
revenues by a million dollars at ten
million dollars or whatever you want to
do next year and start saying we’re
building a company that’s going to last
a hundred years watch the changes that
happen inside the company devote
yourself not to firing people but to
give them an opportunity to contribute
and if they fail help them up and if
they fail help them up and if they fail
help them up and if you really think
they’re incompetent and you really don’t
believe they fit your culture why did
you hire them because of their resumes
or because they belong we should treat
hiring like adopting a child we don’t
adopt children was saying well I’d like
a blonde haired blue-eyed kid yay hi and
I want to make sure that they’ve done
well in preschool before I take them
well that’s how we hire people I’m
looking for somebody with experience in
our industry with at least five years
with this kind of know I’ll you meet it
will take you know that’s not what we do
when we adopt a child we’re gonna give
them the keys to our house we let them
run around by themselves maybe even give
them responsibility over our other
children it’s a slow decision we want to
get to know the kid we want to spend a
little time with the kid see if their
would fit in our family if our other
kids would get along with them hiring is
exactly the same you cannot judge the
quality of a company by the good times
we cannot judge the quality of a crew
when the seas are calm we judged the
quality of a crew when the seas are
rough and numbers will never come to
your aid ever people will if you’re if
things are going great and everything’s
growing and you feel that everyone’s
disposable guess what they think the
same about you it’s reciprocal it’s
always balanced time and energy roam the
halls implement policies where if you
have something to say somebody not just
the exchange of information if you want
to pay someone a compliment if you want
to ask somebody a question about their
work not about some fact like what
time’s the meeting you do not send
emails you stand up you walk the 35 feet
and you walk into the ref and say hey
quick question for you that thing that
you did for the client can you just tell
me a little more about it because I have
a client meeting I promise you the
relationships that will will form simply
because people are giving time and
energy it’s too quick to send an email
it’s too easy if you come over if I come
over to your house for dinner and a day
later I send you this beautiful email
how grateful I am for the dinner that
you made for me or if I sent you a
handwritten note with the exact same
words which one makes you feel better
the handwritten note it’s not the words
it’s not the intention it’s the time and
energy we take and if you think you’re
too busy to give time and energy to your
people then they’re too busy to give
time and energy to you it is a balanced
equation I imagine a world in which the
vast majority of people wake up every
single morning inspire to go to work and
come home every single day fulfilled by
the work that they do
I believe that loving our jobs is a
right a not a privilege
why should it be just the lucky few who
get to love going to work it is an
entitlement that we all have and by
saying love our jobs doesn’t mean have
to like them every day we love our
children every day we don’t like them
every day right we don’t have to like
every day they can be hard but we get to
love it every day and the thing that
makes us love our jobs is not the work
that we’re doing it’s the way we feel
when we go there we feel safe we feel
protected we feel that someone wants us
to achieve more and is giving us the
opportunity to prove to themselves and
to ourselves that we can
this is the world that I imagine this is
why I do these talks because I’m just a
cog in the wheel cog in the machine I’m
just a small piece of the jigsaw puzzle
I come to this to speak to them to the
nice people like yourselves because
you’re the ones who are running
companies you’re the ones who are in
control of the cultures that you’re
building you’re the ones who determine
who you hire and who you don’t are you
hiring based on skills you’re hiring
based on culture I come and share these
ideas with you with the hope that some
of you will try some of these things and
over the course of time you will watch
your own cultures improve and the people
love coming to work oh and by the way
it’s good for innovations good for
progress and it’s good for profit aside
so I thank you very much
[Applause]
you [Applause]
in order to enjoy all the benefits of
having a clearly articulated Y you’ll
need to have the courage and discipline
to use it like Thomas Edison said vision
with that execution is hallucination
there is an ideal order for implementing
your Y though sometimes reality does get
in the way and it all starts with you
our natural tendency is to start with
the tangible we define our value by what
we do so it takes practice to start with
Y like riding a bicycle at first we’re
unsure unsteady we’re in our heads
thinking about all the things we need to
do pedal fast keep enough speed so we
don’t fall over we have to really
concentrate we may even fall over you
can scrape our knees but we get back on
the bike and try again and eventually it
becomes natural
starting with Y is no different at first
it feels awkward it may not even work
but with practice it will become so
natural that you won’t even be able to
imagine a time when you couldn’t do it
just like riding a bicycle in time your
Y will act as a filter for many of the
decisions and choices you make it
becomes a tool to help you find a job or
seize an opportunity in which you’re
more likely to succeed it removes a lot
of the guessing here’s a metaphor to
show you what I mean it’s called the
celery test we’re constantly asking
people for their advice on what to do or
how to do it it’s like going to a dinner
party and somebody says do you know what
you need you need M&Ms we’ve done so
well with M&Ms you’ve got to use M&Ms
somebody else says to us rice milk in
this economy you have to use rice milk
someone else says to us Kit Kats you
have to use Kit Kats and somebody else
says to you it’s all about celery we go
to the supermarket with all this good
advice from all these smart people with
brilliant case studies and we buy
everything we’ve I’d kick cats and M&Ms
celery and rice milk there’s a lot of
time we spend at the supermarket and a
lot of money we spend at the supermarket
and when we get to the checkout line
we’re standing there with all these
products in our hands and no one can see
what we believe because we bought
everything
but let’s imagine we know ry let’s
imagine our wise to always be healthy
and only do things that protect the
health of our bodies
now which products do we buy given all
the same advice from all the same smart
people this time we only buy celery and
we only buy rice milk they’re the only
two that makes sense we spend less time
and less money at the supermarket and
when we’re standing there in line with
only celery and only rice milk now
people can see what we believe somebody
walking past can say hey I can see that
you’re healthy so am I you just
attracted an opportunity or a referral
or a friend simply by saying and doing
the things that you believe and the best
part is it’s scalable as soon as I said
the y-you knew exactly which products we
were going to buy this means the more
you can articulate your why the more
others will know what you stand for and
will be able to help you make the right
decisions from now on you will work to
ensure everything you do is a good fit
if you do too many things that aren’t a
good fit you’ll feel uncomfortable and
people will feel that you’re being
inauthentic
on the other hand when you start with
why your ability to stand out find
support and work to all your natural
strengths will flourish with practice
you will learn to trust your Y you will
eventually start to see your job and the
things you do as ways to breathe life
into your cause and the better you get
at it the more you will feel that your
life and everything you do has purpose
the best way to implement your Y is to
work in it slowly you don’t have to do
all the tips we suggest what is
important is that you pick up 2/3 and
commit to practicing and using them now
I’ll tell you another story it’s a
personal story it’s not one that I share
very often and it profoundly changed the
course of my life in August of 2011 I
had the opportunity to visit Afghanistan
with the United States Air Force I had
done some work with the mobility forces
these the people that fly the tankers
and the cargo planes and Air Force One
all the big planes and the general said
to me Simon you’ve gotten to know us
quite well it would mean a lot to me if
you would go to either Iraq or
Afghanistan to see our men and women
perform their mission would you be
willing to go so I said yes
they picked Afghanistan now I didn’t
tell my parents where I was going
because I didn’t want them to worry I
told them I was going away with the
airforce true I told them I was going to
be out of touch for a while because I
was gonna be on a lot of planes true I
told them I was going to Germany true I
just didn’t tell them from Germany I was
going to Afghanistan and I had no
responsibility I was simply going as an
observer I had two officers who were
assigned to be my escorts and we met
basically for the first time at Penn
Station in Philadelphia where we drove
to Dover Air Force Base where we would
leave for Germany we took a big c5 cargo
plane in Germany we changed planes and
we got on a kc-135 tanker built in 1956
where we flew to Bagram we landed in the
middle of the night we touched down and
the big door on the side of the plane
had opened but we hadn’t gotten off the
plane yet we’d been on the we’d been on
the ground for maybe ten minutes and the
base came under rocket attack three
rockets hit a hundred yards off our nose
this is how my trip began now if you’ve
ever been in a war zone for those of you
in the room who have ever been in a war
zone you have you know this you have all
the feelings you’re supposed to have you
just don’t have them at the right times
weirdly I was incredibly relaxed and
maybe that’s because the people I was
with were incredibly relaxed and I felt
safe we revenge the panic came later
we’re eventually given the all-clear and
we went to our housing now the purpose
of being in Afghanistan we were gonna be
in the country for up to 30 hours and
the goal was to witness an airdrop
mission they’re not regularly scheduled
so we had to find out if there was one
as soon as we got there and it turns out
there was one first thing in the morning
so we got about two and a half hours
three hours of sleep and we went and got
on this airdrop mission which was
incredible we sat in the back of a c-17
we flew about an hour and a half two
hours out to the middle of nowhere
Afghanistan the plane dropped down to
about 2,000 feet the back door opened
and we sat there and watched as cargo
flew at the back so we could resupply an
army Forward Operating Base it was an
amazing amazing experience we then flew
back to Bagram and the goal was to come
back home there’s no regularly scheduled
flight so we have to sort of find out
what flights we can get on it’s always
up to the discretion of the pilots we
found a flight that was leaving shortly
after we got back and so we asked the
pilots and they said absolutely we can
join their flight and we waited and
waited and waited and waited in a waited
and waited and eventually we got on the
plane we were all strapped in literally
five minutes from leaving and the pilot
walked up to us and said I’m sorry we
need to bump you guys we need to make
more room for stretchers it was carrying
wounded warriors out of out of theatres
and they needed our space if there’s
ever a good reason to get bumped off a
plane this was it so we got off the
plane and we went to look for another
flight and that’s when we found out
there were no other flights until
Tuesday and this was only Saturday I was
gonna get stuck in Afghanistan for at
least four days maybe longer because we
don’t know what we’re gonna get on on
Tuesday and I have no way of telling my
parents they’re not gonna hear from me
on the date that I told them that I
would get home immediately
every fiber of my being sank and I
remember becoming completely panicked
and completely preoccupied with one
thing my happiness my safety and my
comfort and I didn’t care who had to go
out of their way to get me what I wanted
I remember there was a public affairs
officer who said I can get you to
Kyrgyzstan but you don’t have the right
visa and I looked at him and I said you
get me on that plane I don’t talk to
people like that and I could see myself
becoming this person that I hated some
of us in the room have worked for
somebody in our careers who wants the
next promotion and they don’t care that
they have to tie our turn our lives
upside down so they can get what they
want I was becoming that person we went
back to our housing and I lay down on
the bed and closed my eyes my mind was
racing I was convinced that there’d be
another rocket attack on the base I was
convinced that I was gonna get hit I was
convinced that my parents were gonna
find out that I was in Afghanistan when
an armed an air force officer knocks on
the door I was convinced paranoia fear
everything that you can imagine swept
over me one of the officers that I was
traveling with said I’m gonna see if I
can get us on another flight and he left
the room the other officer thinking I
was asleep just because my eyes were
closed said well I’m gonna go to the gym
then and he walked out and turned off
the lights for me I couldn’t sleep
my mind was racing all I wanted to do
was get out of there I regretted saying
yes I regretted being there I didn’t
want to be there I’m in the purpose
business I write and talk about this
sense of Y and sense of purpose in our
lives so I started to remind myself
Simon you need a purpose you don’t have
a purpose you need a purpose so I
started inventing one you’re here to
tell their story
it worked for like a few minutes and
then it would slide back into my fear
and panic again
and I realized what was happening to me
is I was living the equivalent of an
unfulfilled life compressed into 24
hours I had an amazing day I got to see
something that most people will never
get to see in their entire lives except
I didn’t want to wake up and do it again
the next day and I think many of us do
the same thing we can we confuse moments
of happiness with joy and fulfillment we
confuse winning a piece of business
getting a promotion getting an award
getting recognition doing well on a test
with actual deep fulfillment those
experiences are wonderful but happiness
is fleeting there’s not a single person
in this room absolutely zero who’s
walking around with an amazing sense of
accomplishment for that test that you
aced a year ago that feeling is gone
fulfillment is something entirely
different it’s something you carry with
you on a daily basis whether you’re
enjoying the day or not it’s like loving
your family you may not like your family
every day but you love your family every
day one is fleeting the other is lasting
and this is what was happening to me I’d
realized that I had this amazing day and
I was confusing happiness and
fulfillment and so I gave up I lay in
that bed paranoid scared and depressed
and I literally gave up I decided that
if I was gonna get stuck here I might as
well make myself useful and so I decided
I was gonna volunteer I would speak
anywhere they wanted me to speak I would
carry boxes and sweep floors all I
wanted to do was serve some of those
amazing people that I’d met on this trip
I wanted to serve those who served
others and instantly this incredible
calm came over me I was even excited
this is what fulfillment means it’s not
the fleeting Joy’s that we may
experience it’s not the accomplishments
that we achieve it’s the opportunity to
serve those
who serve others and upon making this
realization I had nothing but joy and
calm and excitement in peace
it was like a movie that timing was
uncanny
upon making this amazing realization the
door flung open and it was major
Throckmorton he said I got us on a
flight that’s been a flight that’s been
redirected but we have to go now we have
to go now we don’t leave now they’re
gonna leave without us where’s Matt I
said he’s at the gym so he ran to the
gym we got him off the treadmill we ran
back no time to shower he put his
uniform back on we grabbed all our stuff
and we ran out to the flight line when
we got out to the flight line we could
see the plane we were gonna go we’re
gonna take home see big c-17 it was
sitting right out there on the tarmac
and as soon as we got there a security
cordon came down and they wouldn’t let
us out to the plane because somewhere
else on base they were having a fallen
soldier ceremony and out of respect when
they have the fallen soldiers ceremony
everything stops oh and so say we we sat
on the curb and waited and I told the
guys what I had gone through in the bed
just moments ago and I cried like a baby
and this is one of the things a lot of
people don’t realize about the military
crying is just fine those guys kept me
safe not just physically they made me
feel safe and I felt totally comfortable
telling them what I was going through
and how I felt
eventually the security cordon came up
and they led us out to the plane we
would be the only three passengers
aboard this plane other than the crew
what I didn’t tell you is the reason the
flight was redirected he’s because we
would be tearing home the fallen soldier
for whom they just had the ceremony the
army brought the flag draped casket a
bun on board all the airforce crews
stood in a line at perfect attention I’m
a civilian I put my hand on my heart I
felt kind of stupid so I stood at
attention with the Air Force crew as the
army laid the casket in the middle of
the aircraft they all did a very slow
they marched off the plane and we
watched them hugging and crying as they
walked away the crew got to work
strapping this precious cargo down we
then had a nine and a half hour
overnight flight back to Germany where I
slept right next to this casket on every
other plane I went on we talked we joked
barely a word was spoken in nearly 10
hours on every other flight I visited
the cockpit and hung out with the crew I
didn’t visit the cockpit once and I will
tell you was one of the greatest honors
of my life having just gone through this
incredibly strange experience on the
ground I had the honor of bringing home
somebody who understands service much
deeper than I will ever understand it
serve those who serve others and you
will live a life of joy and fulfillment
even though I myself I’m a photographer
so I have that visual aspect I’m a huge
fan of modern dance and spend a lot of
time sort of with dancers and in the
dance world and have you know tried my
hand at choreography just to see you
know I’m not good but I like the idea of
trying it you know and and so for me
it’s about perspective which is when I
when you hang out with dancers and you
you know you sort of learn to dance a
little bit or you learn to choreograph a
little bit or you learn to paint a
little bit you know I’m not a painter
but I painted a painting recently you
know you know if you if you understeery
you know everything’s connected right
you know it’s like we conveniently
divide up our lives like here’s my
personal life is my professional life
I’m you know here’s my social life I’m
looking to find balance it’s just you
you know and all the same things apply
and so if you feel good here you can
apply what you learn here to there you
know and so when you when you learn how
things interconnect and in people and to
connect them how human relationships
working and presence I mean you want to
learn about presence take a dance class
you learn all about how to present
yourself and be forwards you’re gonna
take an acting class learn how to you
know present your speech people say
Simon how’d you learn this is like I’m
exposed to all of this so the tools I’ve
learned have just mainly been different
perspectives on how other people use
their creative talents to see the world
and if I can get little pieces of those
they they helped me in many men
frontways mentorship is not something
you ask somebody to do like will you be
my friend it doesn’t work like that when
you find somebody you get along with you
share values your shared beliefs you
spend time with him you get to know them
you develop trust you take your
vulnerable with him you open up to them
and you discover that you become friends
it’s what happens you start off as
simply acquaintances in my experience
mentorship is exactly the same there
were people who were much more
experienced than me who had wisdom that
I didn’t have and I when I would call
him they would take my calls and when I
would ask them questions they would
always take the time to give me answers
and over the course of time they became
my mentors like they became my friends
and I remember one time I was with one
of my mentors Ron brooder an amazing guy
and I was leaving his house and I put my
arm around him I said you know I’m glad
you’re my mentor and he looked at me and
he said I’m glad you’re mine and it
caught me completely off guard and true
mentorship like true friendship is not a
one-way street
it’s not about one person only giving
advice the other both people are sharing
up to give and both people are showing
up to learn but you kind of someone to
be your mentor especially someone who’s
a total stranger knock on their door and
say will you be my mentor if they don’t
know you you’ve never met them it’s like
friendship you cultivate a relationship
and if that person is always there for
you and wants to see you thrive and
succeed and believes in you then perhaps
they will become your mentor like making
a friend to be a leader requires one
thing and one thing only followers
that’s it
it has nothing to do nothing to do with
rank or title it has to do with whether
others are going to choose the volunteer
raise their hands and volunteer to go in
the direction that you set we can force
people to do things we can whip them
into shape or offer them all kinds of
carrots and sticks to get them to do
things but the end of the day a true
leader is the one where others raise
their hand and says and say I will
follow you the question is why should
anyone follow you now the human animal
is like a company if we want to get
certain behaviors out of the
organization out of people we give them
certain incentives or disincentives we
are exactly the same if you want someone
to perform if you want them to hit a
goal we set the target we set the goal
we offer them some sort of bonus if they
get there and we incentivize the
behavior if we threaten someone with a
punishment we disincentivize the
behavior wait till your father comes
home you know anyone who’s a parent with
gold stars or bonuses or all kinds of
things where we used to this this is
normal the human body works exactly the
same way if you’ve ever had a feeling of
love trust joy fulfillment status pride
those are all chemically produced
feelings they’re chemically produced
incentives trying to get us the human
bodies trying to get us to do certain
things to get us to cooperate tangible
matters we can only we can only see the
things we have words for right and this
is why the leader must provide a clear
vision why are we doing this why are we
in business in the first place what is
the point of growing the company that
you’re growing everybody talks
what’s your growth what’s the point of
the growth in other words you have a
company why do you have that company
what is the value your company is
offering to others and and what what do
you want your company to leave behind
when you’re gone there has to be a
purpose for why your company exists
beyond the things you make beyond the
things you do beyond the money you make
you had the purpose when you founded the
company otherwise you wouldn’t have
taken the crazy risk to start it with
the overwhelming chance of failure and
people wouldn’t have given you blood
sweat and tears if they didn’t believe
in you because you were the Alpha you
had the vision you had the strength and
they wanted your protection and they
joined you and they gave you their blood
sweat and tears because
you gave them a sense of purpose and
belonging and protection you have to
know why you do what you do and this is
what the leaders do and the more they
can put it into words the clearer they
can put it into the words the more we
can see it again we can only see the
things we have words for and so when you
can put these things into words other
people can see them I have a dream
Martin Luther King put into words the
vision seeing he had the rest of us
could see it too and now could focus all
of our attention all of our efforts on
getting it done and every metric and
this is the purpose of metrics every
metric we use is too is too is it’s not
about the metric metrics are supposed to
measure progress in other words each
metric is the tree getting a little
bigger each each metric is us getting a
little closer to the gazelle we get
another little shot of dopamine each
metric shows us that we’re getting
closer to the vision it’s not just about
the numbers at the end of the year how
do we do we’re up good towards what
towards what we don’t know what we’re
getting closer to and it makes work
unfulfilled
don’t know what we’re working towards
dopamine we don’t care if we let down
the goal like if we have a goal that we
have to achieve for work and we missed
the goal do we feel bad that we let the
numbers down no we feel bad that we let
somebody we love down we feel bad that
we let down our boss we let down our
parents we let down our coach we let
down our drill instructor we feel bad
when we let down a human being
accountability is never to a number
accountability is to a person and if
there is no relationship with the person
who’s supposed to look after us on the
postman we’re supposed to be working for
then we don’t feel accountable and this
is where leadership becomes really
really important
you see when we give selflessly to those
in our tribe offering them protection
because that’s all anybody wants at work
they want to feel safe comfortable
protected think about it as a parent you
know back in those days there were no
countries there were no corporations
there were no companies they didn’t
exist there’s only one thing that
pre-existed all of those things the
family that’s all we had each other
think about it what do we say to our
children
you don’t get to choose your children
some of them are funny-looking some of
them not that smart
okay those the kids you got sorry you
get to pick your employees we don’t get
to pick your children and yet it doesn’t
matter who your kids are whether they’re
the best looking or not whether the
smartest or not whether they’re
strongest or not you give them undying
love and you don’t point out their
weaknesses if you’re a good parent you
point out their strengths if you’re a
good parent you encourage them to do the
things that they’re good at and you hold
them up and sometimes you let them fail
and learn for themselves and sometimes
you discipline them and sometimes you
prop them up and sometimes you push them
and sometimes you let them go and more
than anything else all we want for our
children is to achieve more than we
could have achieved and we will do that
by providing them support a feeling of
safety a feeling of protection well
guess what
it ain’t no different at work stop
saying our company is like a family it
is a family and you are the mother and
you are the father and the minute you
hire someone you must give them undying
love and you must work tirelessly to see
that they can achieve more than you
could ever have imagined yourself
achieving those are the best leaders
that’s what it means to be a servant
leader any company any CEO that says to
me proudly we put our customers first I
always say then that means you put your
employees at least second we put people
first human beings come first not
numbers we sacrifice people to save the
numbers but we don’t sacrifice the
numbers to save the people a little bit
backwards and yet when we are willing to
sacrifice the numbers to save people you
watch what happens to the people there’s
a guy by the name of Bob Chapman in
Saint Louis Missouri
who runs a company called
barry-wehmiller so 1.6 billion dollar
private company with 20% year-over-year
growth for the past 20 years Warren
Buffett has 6% what is Bob’s secret he
is obsessed about people he doesn’t even
talk about what his company does it
happens to be heavy manufacturing large
capital expenditure machinery
when kimberly-clark wants to buy a
machine to make toilet paper they make
the machine huge huge blue collar you
know sort of good old-fashioned American
manufacturing when the when the
financial crisis hit Bub’s company lost
thirty percent of their revenues off the
top boom gone they could not afford
their labor pool at all and so they sat
down and they said oh my god do we have
to have layoffs and Bob refused and so
they implemented a furlough program
where every employee from CEO to
secretary had to take four weeks of
unpaid time off they didn’t have to take
it consecutively and they could take it
whenever they wanted those who could
afford it more would trade with those
who could afford it less it was
remarkable and Bob told the company it’s
better we should all suffer a little
than any of us should have to suffer a
lot as human beings we are biologically
designed to cooperate and we want to
help each other when you give someone
the responsibility when you put them in
a position of power or authority for
their responsibilities they rise up why
because we all want to feel that our
lives have value we all want to feel
that our lives and the work that we do
is valuable to the tribe we all want to
know that our company needs us but we
don’t make people feel needed needed and
we don’t make their work feel necessary
because we take all the responsibility
we don’t let them have it and when
people feel fulfilled when we make them
feel necessary they feel proud because
something got done because they were a
part of it they will give more and more
and more and more people in the Marine
Corps are willing to give their lives to
people they barely know because they’ve
learned to trust each other when you
show up at Parris Island or in San Diego
for the first day of boot camp and
you’re standing there on a yellow
footprints the drill instructor will
yell in your face this far away from you
the first words they hear the words I’m
Imai are no longer in your vocabulary
they will be replaced with we together
and us they are taught that success does
not come by yourself it only comes in a
group there’s an old African proverb to
go fast go alone to go far go together
we’re all talking about how quickly
we’re
growing our companies but how long will
your company last 80% of the Dow index
are 35 years or younger sure we build
fast growing companies but they don’t
last I watched it I watched I went to
the crucible and watched these Marines
the crucible is their final test before
they become Marines they’re out for 56
hours they get three meals a total of
eight hours sleep the entire time
they’re exhausted they’re tired they’re
dirty they’re working hard and you watch
a fire squad of four guys making their
way under barbed wire and shots fired
and all of this mayhem ins dirt and sand
and it’s crazy and they’re dragging
themselves across the dirt and one of
the guys is tired and starts falling
back but they have to achieve the
mission they’ve got to get to the other
side but what do they do they stop they
go back they grab his webbing and they
pull they slowed themselves down because
they’d rather slow down with all four
then go fast with three to go fast go
alone to go far go together next time
somebody says what are your goals
stop saying to increase top-line
revenues by a million dollars at ten
million dollars or whatever you want to
do next year and start saying we’re
building a company that’s going to last
a hundred years watch the changes that
happen inside the company devote
yourself not to firing people but to
give them an opportunity to contribute
and if they fail help them up and if
they fail help them up and if they fail
help them up and if you really think
they’re incompetent and you really don’t
believe they fit your culture why did
you hire them because of their resumes
or because they belong we should treat
hiring like adopting a child we don’t
adopt children was saying well I’d like
a blonde haired blue-eyed kid yay hi and
I want to make sure that they’ve done
well in preschool before I take them
well that’s how we hire people I’m
looking for somebody with experience in
our industry with at least five years
with this kind of know I’ll you meet it
will take you know that’s not what we do
when we adopt a child we’re gonna give
them the keys to our house we let them
run around by themselves maybe even give
them responsibility over our other
children it’s a slow decision we want to
get to know the kid we want to spend a
little time with the kid see if their
would fit in our family if our other
kids would get along with them hiring is
exactly the same you cannot judge the
quality of a company by the good times
we cannot judge the quality of a crew
when the seas are calm we judged the
quality of a crew when the seas are
rough and numbers will never come to
your aid ever people will if you’re if
things are going great and everything’s
growing and you feel that everyone’s
disposable guess what they think the
same about you it’s reciprocal it’s
always balanced time and energy roam the
halls implement policies where if you
have something to say somebody not just
the exchange of information if you want
to pay someone a compliment if you want
to ask somebody a question about their
work not about some fact like what
time’s the meeting you do not send
emails you stand up you walk the 35 feet
and you walk into the ref and say hey
quick question for you that thing that
you did for the client can you just tell
me a little more about it because I have
a client meeting I promise you the
relationships that will will form simply
because people are giving time and
energy it’s too quick to send an email
it’s too easy if you come over if I come
over to your house for dinner and a day
later I send you this beautiful email
how grateful I am for the dinner that
you made for me or if I sent you a
handwritten note with the exact same
words which one makes you feel better
the handwritten note it’s not the words
it’s not the intention it’s the time and
energy we take and if you think you’re
too busy to give time and energy to your
people then they’re too busy to give
time and energy to you it is a balanced
equation I imagine a world in which the
vast majority of people wake up every
single morning inspire to go to work and
come home every single day fulfilled by
the work that they do
I believe that loving our jobs is a
right a not a privilege
why should it be just the lucky few who
get to love going to work it is an
entitlement that we all have and by
saying love our jobs doesn’t mean have
to like them every day we love our
children every day we don’t like them
every day right we don’t have to like
every day they can be hard but we get to
love it every day and the thing that
makes us love our jobs is not the work
that we’re doing it’s the way we feel
when we go there we feel safe we feel
protected we feel that someone wants us
to achieve more and is giving us the
opportunity to prove to themselves and
to ourselves that we can
this is the world that I imagine this is
why I do these talks because I’m just a
cog in the wheel cog in the machine I’m
just a small piece of the jigsaw puzzle
I come to this to speak to them to the
nice people like yourselves because
you’re the ones who are running
companies you’re the ones who are in
control of the cultures that you’re
building you’re the ones who determine
who you hire and who you don’t are you
hiring based on skills you’re hiring
based on culture I come and share these
ideas with you with the hope that some
of you will try some of these things and
over the course of time you will watch
your own cultures improve and the people
love coming to work oh and by the way
it’s good for innovations good for
progress and it’s good for profit aside
so I thank you very much
[Applause]
you [Applause]
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