as most people do walk around it
something’s wrong with them just majorly
messed up because you can’t hear what
you can’t understand and so all the
treating the symptom is like putting a
bandaid on an infection it doesn’t when
you understand there you can totally
change your perception of what it is
because events actually don’t affect you
but the meaning you attach isn’t dust
but then you have to understand a bit
more of psychology because humans are
hard-wired to recreate what they know
we like what’s familiar even if that’s
very even if it’s very bad I’ve never
had money and I win the lottery I’m
gonna get rid of it or if I’ve never had
love and you love me I’m gonna reject
you because it’s so unfamiliar if I’ve
had a dad who calls me an idiot
and worthless guess what kind of guy I
like that’s it because when I meet them
I go oh I feel like I’ve known this guy
my whole life we just clicked and they
think oh my god it’s cuz he’s my dad but
I’ve been sleeping them for six months I
don’t know what to do with that now
because we are wired to like what is
familiar and to resist what’s unfamiliar
and that’s what kept us alive when we
lived in waters you didn’t go a bit
bored with this group I think I’ll go
outside the water city and find another
tribe because they might have killed you
so we have this wiring that says run
towards what’s familiar and run away
from what’s unfamiliar but the very good
news is you can make anything familiar
and the most important thing to make
familiar is praising yourself that’s if
you could just do that that in itself
would change our entire life
get out in the morning and go I’m a good
person I have a skill I have a town I
have something to offer the world I’m
here for a reason you look in the mirror
and go oh there you are
you’re a good person you got a good
heart you know the most important way to
answer that question is this what did
you always want your dad to tell you
even if you never had a dad if you had a
dad good dad what would he have said
what would your mama said what would a
nice teacher have said to you and it
would be something like this I’m proud
of you
you’re a good son I’m so glad I’m your
dad how lucky I got to have you and a
teach you would say you’re such a smart
kid what a joy is to teach you because
you’re smart and we all want to hear the
same stuff I love you I’m proud of you
you’re interesting you’re great coming
nobody needs to hear on the best dentist
in Beverly Hills because that doesn’t
work
it’s emotions and many of my clients
their mother might be dead but they’re
still trying to get her to approve of
them dad’s living in another country but
they’re still working to make him like
them and you know the most important
thing is you like you so whatever you
wanted to hear say it to yourself
because your mind doesn’t even know that
it’s coming in it also doesn’t care your
mind doesn’t care what you tell it is
right or wrong or true or false or even
if it’s good or bad it lets it in like
chapstick on your lips your lipstick oh
is this organic Fairtrade just let sit
in it it needs a bit of nourishment and
we need some nourishment and
it’s a very nourishing and there is
actually nothing on the planet that will
raise your self-esteem like praise but
if I say it to myself my mind knows
there’s no manipulation and the mind
likes repetition and when you say
everyday your mind kind of goes oh yeah
here you go again with that phrase you
say everyday must be true and now it
sinks in and they’re familiar unfamiliar
if praise is unfamiliar but criticism is
familiar when you say to someone like
Robin Williams oh my god that last show
was funny those didn’t you notice I left
out there I fluffed a word it wasn’t as
good as the one before so if you’re not
used to praise you’ll reject it and if
you used to criticism you’ll add it in
because we do what’s familiar so if we
say to someone I loved your book they go
oh actually it’s the other one as much I
love your talk oh I got it in a car boot
sale it’s five years I’ve got a hole in
it so if we haven’t got praise we
actually reject it and you just have to
save yourself I’m gonna make this
familiar I’m gonna praise myself every
day might feel weird but I’ll keep doing
it it’s a bit like running you know
running isn’t familiar especially around
Beverly Hills but if you put your shoes
on and go for a run on concrete
eventually it becomes familiar and then
you like it I mean sticking a lens in
your eye that’s the weirdest thing the
first few times that oh my god I’m
carrying
I like that and then after why you can
do it almost without thinking because
you get used to it you can make anything
familiar or unfamiliar and my advice to
everyone is look at your bad habits and
make them unfamiliar and look at what
you want especially praise and make it
familiar more so because if you got a
start-up where you’re working for
yourself the days of a boss going well
done good job pat on the back are over
and you have a praise muscle and no
one’s gonna build it up except for you
but if you build it up it makes you
bulletproof yeah [Music]
something’s wrong with them just majorly
messed up because you can’t hear what
you can’t understand and so all the
treating the symptom is like putting a
bandaid on an infection it doesn’t when
you understand there you can totally
change your perception of what it is
because events actually don’t affect you
but the meaning you attach isn’t dust
but then you have to understand a bit
more of psychology because humans are
hard-wired to recreate what they know
we like what’s familiar even if that’s
very even if it’s very bad I’ve never
had money and I win the lottery I’m
gonna get rid of it or if I’ve never had
love and you love me I’m gonna reject
you because it’s so unfamiliar if I’ve
had a dad who calls me an idiot
and worthless guess what kind of guy I
like that’s it because when I meet them
I go oh I feel like I’ve known this guy
my whole life we just clicked and they
think oh my god it’s cuz he’s my dad but
I’ve been sleeping them for six months I
don’t know what to do with that now
because we are wired to like what is
familiar and to resist what’s unfamiliar
and that’s what kept us alive when we
lived in waters you didn’t go a bit
bored with this group I think I’ll go
outside the water city and find another
tribe because they might have killed you
so we have this wiring that says run
towards what’s familiar and run away
from what’s unfamiliar but the very good
news is you can make anything familiar
and the most important thing to make
familiar is praising yourself that’s if
you could just do that that in itself
would change our entire life
get out in the morning and go I’m a good
person I have a skill I have a town I
have something to offer the world I’m
here for a reason you look in the mirror
and go oh there you are
you’re a good person you got a good
heart you know the most important way to
answer that question is this what did
you always want your dad to tell you
even if you never had a dad if you had a
dad good dad what would he have said
what would your mama said what would a
nice teacher have said to you and it
would be something like this I’m proud
of you
you’re a good son I’m so glad I’m your
dad how lucky I got to have you and a
teach you would say you’re such a smart
kid what a joy is to teach you because
you’re smart and we all want to hear the
same stuff I love you I’m proud of you
you’re interesting you’re great coming
nobody needs to hear on the best dentist
in Beverly Hills because that doesn’t
work
it’s emotions and many of my clients
their mother might be dead but they’re
still trying to get her to approve of
them dad’s living in another country but
they’re still working to make him like
them and you know the most important
thing is you like you so whatever you
wanted to hear say it to yourself
because your mind doesn’t even know that
it’s coming in it also doesn’t care your
mind doesn’t care what you tell it is
right or wrong or true or false or even
if it’s good or bad it lets it in like
chapstick on your lips your lipstick oh
is this organic Fairtrade just let sit
in it it needs a bit of nourishment and
we need some nourishment and
it’s a very nourishing and there is
actually nothing on the planet that will
raise your self-esteem like praise but
if I say it to myself my mind knows
there’s no manipulation and the mind
likes repetition and when you say
everyday your mind kind of goes oh yeah
here you go again with that phrase you
say everyday must be true and now it
sinks in and they’re familiar unfamiliar
if praise is unfamiliar but criticism is
familiar when you say to someone like
Robin Williams oh my god that last show
was funny those didn’t you notice I left
out there I fluffed a word it wasn’t as
good as the one before so if you’re not
used to praise you’ll reject it and if
you used to criticism you’ll add it in
because we do what’s familiar so if we
say to someone I loved your book they go
oh actually it’s the other one as much I
love your talk oh I got it in a car boot
sale it’s five years I’ve got a hole in
it so if we haven’t got praise we
actually reject it and you just have to
save yourself I’m gonna make this
familiar I’m gonna praise myself every
day might feel weird but I’ll keep doing
it it’s a bit like running you know
running isn’t familiar especially around
Beverly Hills but if you put your shoes
on and go for a run on concrete
eventually it becomes familiar and then
you like it I mean sticking a lens in
your eye that’s the weirdest thing the
first few times that oh my god I’m
carrying
I like that and then after why you can
do it almost without thinking because
you get used to it you can make anything
familiar or unfamiliar and my advice to
everyone is look at your bad habits and
make them unfamiliar and look at what
you want especially praise and make it
familiar more so because if you got a
start-up where you’re working for
yourself the days of a boss going well
done good job pat on the back are over
and you have a praise muscle and no
one’s gonna build it up except for you
but if you build it up it makes you
bulletproof yeah [Music]
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