you and I want to know what it takes to
be happy we have to understand what is
our current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be then what do I mean by
blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is you work hard in
school you become really great you’re a
nice person you’re a good person and
then you grow up and you take care of
yourself and you find the ideal man and
you follow love you have a white picket
fence and you have to be perfect overran
and you live happily ever after somebody
else’s story the old story was you work
really hard in school you excel in
college you’re going to work for a big
corporation and you move up through the
ranks until you’re the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful and respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today of what
people’s lives are supposed to be like
are completely diverse we no longer have
these little Ark types but when our
touch still seems to remain that
archetype is in order for you to really
feel like you’re enough many people
believe they have to achieve an enormous
amount they may do it in different ways
they may do it by building a company and
taking a public when they’re 27 or 25
years old or you know they find and
create a new technology or they become a
very special doctor but we live in a
culture in the West that teaches people
that you’re not enough unless you do
something really special and unique and
we define special and unique and
interesting ways a schoolteacher is not
special and unique a mother who stays
home with her children day and night
sculpting their minds their bodies their
souls and their future is not special we
live in a world today where we treat
teachers like they’re nobody and pay
them accordingly we wonder why our
children seem to have challenges of
learning and growing or being engaged in
school we spend thousands of dollars on
some item like a computer but what we
look at overall we invest in for the
teacher and for that person is the
personal connection with them is so
small we live in a society where many
women look down and say well you’re just
a housewife you’re just a mother see
some of the pain we have in our society
is not because there’s one
or one wrong approach but because we try
to make everybody fit into some
particular approach to life here’s
what’s gonna make you happy or make you
unhappy in life it’s real simple let’s
do a quick test if you’re in a situation
right now where you look at your life I
know there’s an area of your life that
you probably feel pretty darn good about
even if you’re not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you’re not close to
your kids maybe you don’t have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you’re doing not so good in
your career maybe you got a really great
body that you’ve trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or the way you look or if
that’s not happening made me feel really
special connection with God we’re really
close to your mother or father your
family whatever almost everybody has an
area of their life they feel really good
about if they’re honest if they’re fair
to themselves
what’s any of your life you really feel
happy about I want you think about it
for a moment truthfully what’s an area
in your life today that if you wanted to
be happy about it you really could feel
proud about you could feel like so no
you’re doing darn well in and if you’re
really hard on yourself there’s still an
area what’s an area I want you to think
of it right now I want you think of that
area whether it’s your body or your
finances or your career or your intimate
relationship or your relationship with
your kids your relationship with your
Creator whatever it is I want you to
think about why are you happy with that
air of your life right now today why are
you happy with that area of your life
right now today really think about if
you’re in a seminar with me I’d have you
write this down if you can you could put
me on hold here for a second because I’d
like to reveal to you what the formula
is for happiness and if I say there’s a
formula for happiness and here’s what it
is you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure that’s
what he says but if you put down the
answer and we can see the form of this
real without me telling you what it is
you get to look at your own life and say
it matches you’re gonna know this is
right so you could stop this right now
if you want put me on hold
and just write down what’s an area of
your life you’re really really happy
about you’re really pleased with or you
could be if you wanted to focus on it
and why are you happy with that part of
your life right now even if you’re happy
with everything what’s the year you’re
happy with and
why put me on hold right now or you’re
not gonna do that just think for a
moment why specifically be real why now
when they ask this if you’ve turned me
back on now if I ask this of an audience
I’ll have people write this down for a
few minutes and I’ll call in people I’ll
say share with the person next to you
first
what do you happy about why are you
happy in that area and be specific after
they share I’ll have people stand up
I’ll call in a variety people and I say
ma’am tell me what are you happy about
she’ll say well honestly I’m really
happy with my body she does I never
thought I’d say that but I used to be so
unhappy with it and you know I finally I
did some things I push myself through
and now I exercise regularly and you
know I’m not perfect but I feel fit I
feel strong I feel energetic and that’s
really I don’t know it just feels good
to me now I say everybody I’m now gonna
show you what the formula for happiness
is and it’s real simple I want to reveal
it to you so you don’t ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the era of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC your life conditions the conditions
of your life your life conditions in
that area match or equal to your
blueprint your story your belief about
how life should be in that area so this
woman says to me I’m really happily my
body because it’s not perfect her
blueprint is I don’t need to be perfect
but it’s so much better than it was
unfit and I’m strong and I have this
energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way or my life my body matches how
I think it should be I feel good about
my life
about somebody else I’ll say you know
tell me there you’re happy with someone
else to say well I’m really happy with
my career and why well I’m doing better
than I even thought I would be I mean
I’m ahead of the schedule of where I
hoped I’d be at this stage I’m working
at this level in this company and I have
these skills and this ability and it’s
even better than I thought well once
again listen this person is happy with
this area of their life because their
current life conditions in the area
called their career are even better than
they expected they would be better than
their blueprint better than their belief
about how it should be if it’s really
better you tend to be over the moon
would say you know I I kind of tell you
I said I’m the happies never been in my
whole life how come she goes because I
have this man in my life and I’m in love
with him and he loves me and I can be
myself with him and he we have this
incredible intimacy and this passion and
we want to be with each other all the
time and I never get bored with him well
what’s her blueprint you want to be with
somebody that you can have total
intimacy with somebody who you love and
loves you those are part of her rules
her beliefs of how it should be she said
it you know it’s needs to be I never
want to be with anybody else I want to
be with him every moment her blueprint
about how life should be and the way she
lives her relationships even better than
she hoped when it’s better than you hope
you’re gonna be totally excited so think
about this then what’s an area you’re
not happy with let’s see we can find the
formula for unhappiness if the formula
for happiness is to be able to meet your
expectations or exceed them that we
really make sure excited but to be happy
at least Mita doesn’t have to be perfect
but if you generally are meaning what
you expect you want from your life in
that area feel good right conditions
match blueprint feel good so what makes
you feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration little easy way to figure it
out answer this question
what’s an area life you’re not happy
with let me be honest with yourself and
even if your life is great all kinds of
ways I’m sure there’s an area you’d like
to improve anybody is honest if they’re
doing great in their career very often
don’t take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong and they go I don’t have time
for it what you’re really saying is I
don’t feel very competent that area so
what’s an area of your life that you are
not as happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
that’s what we’re here to do is like
here’s what I want to be here’s where I
am it’s healthy to see there’s a gap
that makes
may have this hunger to strive to grow
to feel alive to expand as a human being
so what’s an area not pleased with is it
your body is it your finances is it your
career is it your spiritual life or lack
thereof in terms of feeling connected in
that area is it your kids like what’s
the area what’s the area that’s not
where you want it to be and then answer
for a moment why aren’t you happy with
that area of your life right now why
specifically today are you not happy
with that area of your life at this
stage of your time of your life again
you can stop this and write it down
might be useful for you or if you’re
gonna keep it running stop it and you’ll
turn it right back on I’ll kick into it
do that now or if you kept it running
then just I’ll give you what happens I
have people write this down and they
don’t like this exercise so much oh I
don’t like my body or I don’t like my
finances I don’t like my career I don’t
like the person I’m in a relationship
with I don’t like myself the way I’m in
relationships why they write it all down
how people share back and forth I call
on people and the lessons pretty clear I
tell people in advance here’s the
formula for unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and I said
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy when the person says well you know
I’m really not happy with my finances
and I go why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy and why are they crazy
you say well because they don’t have
their economic needs met no you cannot
have your economic needs met and you
could still be okay but when you have an
idea this is what my need is and I did
the wrong thing
my life doesn’t match how I’m supposed
to be that’s when people get a little
crazy so you think about it if you grew
up taking care of folding your own
clothes making your own meals going to
the store doing the grocery shopping
cleaning the bedroom cleaning the house
vacuuming taking out the trash and you
did that your whole life then if you
have to do that later on you don’t feel
like you have economic pain because you
don’t have a maid but if you grew up an
environment where everything was done
for you you never have to work and now
suddenly you have to work incredibly
hard to just pay enough money to pay
your bills and all of a sudden food is
building up and the house is dirty and
your clothes aren’t folded and nothing
matches you might find yourself really
angry and frustrated because you have a
different story about how life’s
supposed to be then how it is someone
else’s say well I’ll tell you why
because I’m in a situation now where you
know I’m 30 pounds everything I should
be should be the key word there are
people there are people in all cultures
who love being big there are people that
will walk around and someone else might
think they’re massively overweight but
they’re gone I own this honey and they
really truly they match their blueprint
big is beautiful because their ideas big
is beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when asked people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living or we feel
like a pain that just will never go away
and I’ll people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while keen if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need to be an NBA
basketball player at least
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle’s my aunts
I am the successful one in the family
and I make the money I support everybody
he’s a good man he didn’t come just to
be successful he took care of his mother
his family’s he tried to be an
inspiration for people joaquin hawkins
as a man i was always going out on his
free time and training kids and showing
them the pathway to freedom how they
could play basketball and get free like
he did and get out of the inner city so
this man is not a selfish man but he
knew this is the way to be worthwhile
this is the way to be able to give to
people this is the way to take care of
your family and all of a sudden one
night what happened that way was taken
from him he has a stroke and another
night his life conditions make it
impossible to be who he has to be or he
feels like he’s worthless to get it we
have an identity we have a story of how
we’re supposed to be and if life somehow
gets in the way of that story we feel
pain but if we feel we have no control
that’s when we go into suffering see
it’s one thing to say my life doesn’t
match my blueprint I got to lose weight
that might stress you out or my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not in a
relationship I gotta get in one that
might motivate you even you might not
like it but you’re gonna find a way to
get on with or my career doesn’t matter
I should be you could change it but when
you start believing that your life
doesn’t match your blueprint and you
have no control to change it you’re
helpless that’s when people suffer and
so this week for your breakthrough it’s
a chance for you to start to take a look
at your blueprint anywhere you’re really
having pain yeah look if you’re doing
great in some area of your life
celebrate of course and I’m sure there
are many areas you are but life is
really a series of growth spurts I mean
two things in life make you feel alive
growing and giving and what’s really
wonderful about this man Joaquin is he
was constantly growing trying to get
better trying to be a better team
a better basketball player think about
it when you didn’t make the teams and
even make the NBA he didn’t give up he
worked even harder the guy was always
striving striving to become something
and he became it and he achieved it and
then life took it from him
isn’t that the common denominator with
so many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean Frank and Kristin
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married to have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered that
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and then asked for
this chair does not define me I can
become more than I was before I can have
the impact of my wife I can have
children we had to change his blueprint
because we couldn’t change all the
conditions of his life does that make
sense I couldn’t get him to physically
walk again maybe someday he will but we
can’t count on that well we gotta count
on is that he can be fulfilled by seeing
he isn’t helpless that I did that to a
series of experiences that violated what
he thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true in almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
Joaquin said well I I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that where we get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and you think you’re
helpless to change it now you have only
three choices choice one blame something
and that’s what what Keane did if you
recall he blamed his coach he blamed
what happened to him and of course these
things were outside his control but he
blamed his coach and a big part of the
healing if you watch this session was
bringing his coach in and getting him to
see hey you know what all that anger all
resentment inside of you Akeem a it’s
not based on the truth and be like
Nelson Mandela said you know having
resentment in your soul is like drinking
poison and hoping that your enemy will
die and then work that way then when
Joaquin was able to break out his
breakthrough was a change in perception
to realize this coach wasn’t stopping me
I just felt like I lost everything and
so I don’t know how to change it so I’m
looking for something to be mad about
someone to blame so so I don’t have to
blame myself or I don’t have to feel so
helpless
because when you’re angry you don’t feel
so helpless you feel strong for the
moment even though it’s a fake strength
when he was able to make that
breakthrough he could stop blaming
because these are three choices when
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be blame something an event
someone else or yourself as we talked
about earlier in the series blame games
just destroy you there’s no progress in
your plan for the moment you feel okay
but nothing changes what are your real
choices you only have two choices in
life if life doesn’t match your
blueprint you either have to change your
life that is you kind of say you know
what my body isn’t there I’m gonna go
work out my relationship isn’t there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
one I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy
if you can’t change your life you’re
gonna have to change your blueprint
usually in life it requires a little bit
of each does that make sense
and if you change your take change your
life and change your blueprint you can
have an extraordinary life and what you
witness this man do was once he let go
of his anger and his denial once he
started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball or not of course
he’d love to play basketball but
professional basketball is no longer
part of it and we had to get Joaquin to
shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor for
all of us because all of us are gonna
have times in our life when what we want
or think life should be like isn’t gonna
match how life really is those moments
if we blame our life goes into pain if
we change we can change our life and
match our blueprint but we have to also
know when it’s
not within our control and that’s how
we’re able to make a shift and change
what our story is for our life what our
expectations are not by lowering them
but by changing what that model really
is helping this make sense to you I’ll
give you a great example
years ago I do a lot of work with
businesspeople celebrities people of all
kinds the walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details who
can’t figure exactly who it is but it
would be a person who was very
successful as a woman who was extremely
attracted by cultural standards a woman
who’s had a lot of dear friends a lot of
deep respect so great skill great
ability extremely talented quite
attractive quite wealthy in financial
terms and lots of great friends this
would be for most people’s idea the
ultimate blueprint if your life matches
that description you must have an
incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on the through
counseling she’s got all these different
drugs nothing’s working she’s thinking
antidepressants and she’s still
depressed which is not uncommon by the
way because if you change the way you
feel physically but you still see your
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level can you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is I know if someone’s depressed
it’s because they feel helpless because
their life doesn’t match what they think
it should be I just didn’t know what her
blueprint is but we’ll find out what it
is and we’ll either help her change your
life or well pretend your blueprint or
both
long story short and very quickly I’ll
tell you the core of it which came to me
and she spent maybe the first half an
hour telling me apologizing saying I
know I should be happier I know it’s
silly
for me to be depressed I don’t know why
I’m so depressed
III know I should be grateful for what I
have and I am grateful it was all these
reasons why she knows she should feel
good but still didn’t I try to finally
explain to her listen I don’t care about
that I care about you
the fact that you’re not happy has
nothing to do with what you have or
don’t have the fact that you’re not
happy is that your life doesn’t match
the way you think it should be and you
have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this
depressed that for all this time you
feel like you can’t do anything you have
no power to change it you feel helpless
and she looked at me in a certain way
and I said so what is that what did you
want your life to be like she goes well
it sounds stupid doesn’t like it sounds
stupid to me she said well I don’t know
I just always since I was a little girl
dreamed that I would be married and I’ll
have three basically perfect children
and they would love me totally and my
but my husband he loved me and I said
okay so how’s that working for you so
far and she said well I think you know
who’s pretty famous person she said I’m
divorced twice I have no children and
now X age and to give you a clue that
age would be an age where having a child
your own natural child at least barring
a medical miracle is not going to happen
so I said to her well why don’t you just
adopt says no no no no no that’s not it
and so what I had to dig under is
remember we talked to one of the earlier
sessions about there’s the surface
problem and then there’s the deeper
desire or need so I said to her I said
well what if you couldn’t have the
husband but you could have the kids and
she smiled she said I’d take that I said
well why not adopted kid she goes now it
has to be my own blood children so I
kept digging to find out what was behind
her blueprint because your blueprint is
just a projection of what you think you
need to be happy but as human beings
were notoriously ineffective at knowing
that’s gonna make us happy so much what
we think we’re gonna make us happy we
get there we go is this all there is so
many things that we think are going to
make us miserable and we can never deal
with we go through it we can
handle it we’re not good at projecting
these things all kinds of studies will
show this so I said to her well what
what are you hoping to get from these
three children why do they have to be
your blood children and she finally said
well if they’re my blood children I know
they’ll always love me they’ll never
leave me what was she looking for
unconditional love she had this big
blueprint that said white house picket
fence three children perfect husband you
know all these different things but what
was behind that was a need and need to
feel like she could have loved that
would be certain and wouldn’t go away so
I can help her meet that need so I said
to her I said well maybe one reason you
don’t have a husband is because every
time you look at one you’re trying to
figure out if he’s gonna get you those
three kids in time and how that’s gonna
happen and maybe he feels a little
stressed when he’s low you’re looking at
in this way because he can feel what’s
going on behind your bed even if he
doesn’t know what the words are and she
started laughs because I guess I’ve
probably been that way a good portion of
my life and she goes people wonder you
know why I’m so uptight
I say you’re uptight because you were
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love I said don’t
Channel I love you I’ve tell me about
your friends and gradually I got her to
start seeing this love that she was
trying to get was already here it didn’t
match the picture maybe maybe we could
paint a new picture of what life could
really be like and make sure that
picture met her deepest needs that’s
basically we did Joaquin Joaquin wanted
to be a professional basketball player
cuz he loved basketball yes but also
because he wanted to be that man who was
a leader he wanted to be a man who was
the good man he want to be the one who
brought energy to people he want to be
the man people would look up to he want
to be the man who could take care of his
family and style all of his family not
just his daughters and his wife but
other people as well underneath it all
he wanted to know that he mattered and
through the process that you saw in the
show he began to find out that he didn’t
need to be angry at the world that yes
his blueprint was taken from him but his
soul and his ability to be a special
human being and they could touch other
people was not taken from him that may
be his real gift was his ability to
inspire young kids his ability to get
himself to do whatever it took how do
you become a
professional basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started to
change he’s turned out Mary could come
home and take care of his kids and pay
his bills that doesn’t solve everything
but it gives him a way to suddenly
regain himself when he sat around with
all of his family you saw part of those
scenes and if you watch little areas of
browsing this week you’ll see some more
scenes from his family where you see him
begin you realize they love me whether
I’m rich or poor they love me
I’m a professional basketball player or
not they love me that’s what he was
really after and he got that it allowed
him to let go and say I can do other
things that doesn’t mean he won’t have
challenges we’re all gonna have
challenges in our life it doesn’t mean
that at times he won’t wish he’s doing
more but he’s no longer stuck he’s
broken through because he now knows I
have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and when I do I
can fulfill it I can start to fill that
aliveness now here’s the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly once you figure out
how to do what you always dreamed of you
always dream to live a certain way and
now you’re living that way live in that
way living that way everyday well the
human nervous system human spirit needs
to grow so pretty soon you’ll get bored
with that and you’ll come up with a new
blueprint that’s part of the part of
life that’s exciting
see if you and I are from this day
forward our gonna be happy just remember
what we’ve said it takes two things grow
and give a meaningful life comes from
growing that sense of progress and it
comes from having life not just be about
me but about we doing something that
makes me feel connected to other people
besides myself that growth that sense of
contribution fills a deep spiritual need
that we all have if you are unhappy in
your life you got three choices really
to blame that’s not a choice it’s not
gonna work don’t blame someone else
don’t blame you that don’t blame
yourself just figure out what you’re
gonna do to change your life that’s my
specialty if you like my coaching or my
team’s coaching come visit with us cuz
I’m doing it that come get a coach come
to a program I will guide you through it
more than just a few minutes like this
and we’ll do it directly an environment
that will shift you or change your
blueprint you’re gonna have to rewire
what’s going on inside and that’s what
we focus on as well
so I hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope that’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life it takes realizing you have no
problems compared to somebody else in
putting your life in perspective it
takes the ability to deal with those
extreme stresses that happen in your
life by questioning your limiting
beliefs and again if we’d love to coach
you and show you how to change those in
a permanent way where it happens
automatically just like lifting weights
so up until the muscle is always there
and you find yourself able to follow
through it takes for you to be able to
figure out how to deal with crisis and
how to turn it around
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you
it takes putting yourself in a position
where you connect to what’s more
important than just yourself what you
value than just yourself and it takes I
think in this case also the ability to
realize that no matter what happens to
you you’re more than that moment you’re
more than the story you think you’re
supposed to be and that even when you’re
not matching what you think you need to
be maybe there’s a reason for that maybe
you’re having to find a different part
of yourself that’s gonna fulfill you in
a much deeper level sometimes failing to
get your goal gives you your destiny I
can’t tell you how many people I’ve
known over the years who have an idea of
what they thought their life was
supposed to be like and they didn’t
achieve it they got miserable and upset
and frustrated then one day an opening
happened and they went oh my god thank
God that didn’t happen
I think it’s Garth Brooks had a great
song and it’s a song about when he was
in high school and he was in love with
this girl infatuated with her and she
didn’t even know that he existed and he
prayed to God every day that she would
notice him that she would fall in love
with him and then sure enough if she
never did he was so disappointed his
blueprint didn’t match his life didn’t
match it because she didn’t even know he
existed and he felt this suffering he
could do nothing to turn it around well
15 years later he became a guy named
Garth Brooks somebody everybody knew and
he could rock you know stadiums with his
energy and his song and his music and he
goes back to being this high school
reunion it was his 15-year EFM
correctly I don’t remember the exact
year but all I remember is he said he
saw that woman that he was so obsessed
by I was looking forward to seeing her
and now it was Garth Brooks and he met
her and after he met her and spent some
time with her he wrote a song called
thank God for unanswered prayers
sometimes not getting your blueprints
the best thing that ever happen because
the disappointment drives you to find
something more important inside of you
or not getting it makes you look for
another aspect of your life a spiritual
aspect of a family aspect a physical
aspect if you can just trust that life
doesn’t happen to you it happens for you
then you can find in any situation a
benefit that can take your life to the
next level I don’t care if you’re Frank
and Christian I don’t care if you’re you
know Mandy and Scott I don’t care if
you’re Joaquin and Kim every one of us
in our life is gonna feed faced
situations where it feels like we have
total trauma something that’s been taken
from us the real question is what are
you gonna do with it some people just
live in the story of what they don’t
have and they have the right to do that
if Frank and Chris them lived in pain
and felt bad we’d all say they have the
right to do it it’s a different thing
what you have the right to do and what
you deserve to give yourself and others
we have the ability to transcend
whatever happens to us there’s something
called post-traumatic growth very few
people know about it two people go
through the same stress one’s destroyed
the other grows what’s the difference
the people that grow will not give up
they don’t have any excuses they find
the way to break through whatever it
takes and when they do three things
happen number one they realize who they
really are and what they’re capable of
they realize there’s so much stronger
than they thought they were and number
two they deepen all their relationships
you want to know who really cares about
you who you love and who loves you go
through some tragedy go through some of
hard times all your Facebook friends go
away your real friends your real family
shows up for you and you show up for
them and it deepens your relationships
and the third thing happens if you can
push yourself through and break through
whatever challenges life gives you is
each time you ever break through you get
and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you where
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore
cuz after you’ve been through a stroke
after you’ve been through you know
losing the use of some of your body or
senses after you lose a family member
and you break through to that you get to
the other side it’s like give me your
best shot life it’s almost like there’s
this psychological immunity that says
I’m ready for whatever life will give me
I don’t want challenges but if they’re
here I know I can handle them that’s
strength of spirit is what creates a
sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly a never ending thing you way
to improve yourself and to help others
that’s my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope they’ll
check us out there’s three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend at our unleash
the power within or our date with
destinies I think you’ll find it’s very
different than just sitting here talking
to you quietly sitting in front of your
computer screen it’s a rock’n’roll
environment it’s like going to the
ballpark and having one person sitting
there talking to you versus being in the
ballpark of the rock and roll concert
you know with 50,000 there’s an energy
and a power that comes from it second is
there’s immersion here we talked for an
hour there’s distractions and emails
there it’s total focus and we go for an
immersion we’re literally what we did
here over six weeks few little
conversations all that happens over and
over again multiple times a day and you
get that shift so come to an event or
call up and get a coach we have people
that you can work with and have a free
coaching session and make sure it’s
really valuable for you but these are
people that can check in with you to
help make sure you break through you
make the changes you want to make and
your career or your finances or your
body or your emotions or whatever area
matters to you and finally lastly and
probably most importantly every day you
got to feed your mind because every day
most of us are turning on you know some
form of news it shows up in our pocket
and our blackberries or I you know iPods
or iPhones I should say it shows up you
know on your computer constantly it
chases us and it rarely does a good idea
interrupt you really what you have to do
is pursue the ideas pursue the
experiences they’re gonna change
life and we have a way to do it called
net time no extra time a wave where you
can keep feeding your mind the stuff
that really matters with some products
or services so if you’re interested in
any of those things be sure to click on
your interest of an event or interest in
having a free coaching session or maybe
try one of our audio programs because
the other challenge here is with video
got to sit here potentially and watch me
but with audio you can do it while
you’re working out you can do it while
you’re cleaning the house you can do it
while you’re driving in the car or
you’re getting to work we’d love to
continue serving you in any way we can I
know I’ve gone long in this session but
I really want you to think about how can
I get my life the way I want it to be
the way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life match my
blueprint and suddenly my life feels
full and alive thank you for the time
that we spent together here I’ve really
enjoyed our time and I hope that this
breakthrough series reminds you to never
settle for less than you can be never
settle for less than you can give or you
can share LIVESTRONG loop of passion and god bless
be happy we have to understand what is
our current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be then what do I mean by
blueprint well we have a story in our
head of how life’s supposed to be some
people’s story is you work hard in
school you become really great you’re a
nice person you’re a good person and
then you grow up and you take care of
yourself and you find the ideal man and
you follow love you have a white picket
fence and you have to be perfect overran
and you live happily ever after somebody
else’s story the old story was you work
really hard in school you excel in
college you’re going to work for a big
corporation and you move up through the
ranks until you’re the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful and respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today of what
people’s lives are supposed to be like
are completely diverse we no longer have
these little Ark types but when our
touch still seems to remain that
archetype is in order for you to really
feel like you’re enough many people
believe they have to achieve an enormous
amount they may do it in different ways
they may do it by building a company and
taking a public when they’re 27 or 25
years old or you know they find and
create a new technology or they become a
very special doctor but we live in a
culture in the West that teaches people
that you’re not enough unless you do
something really special and unique and
we define special and unique and
interesting ways a schoolteacher is not
special and unique a mother who stays
home with her children day and night
sculpting their minds their bodies their
souls and their future is not special we
live in a world today where we treat
teachers like they’re nobody and pay
them accordingly we wonder why our
children seem to have challenges of
learning and growing or being engaged in
school we spend thousands of dollars on
some item like a computer but what we
look at overall we invest in for the
teacher and for that person is the
personal connection with them is so
small we live in a society where many
women look down and say well you’re just
a housewife you’re just a mother see
some of the pain we have in our society
is not because there’s one
or one wrong approach but because we try
to make everybody fit into some
particular approach to life here’s
what’s gonna make you happy or make you
unhappy in life it’s real simple let’s
do a quick test if you’re in a situation
right now where you look at your life I
know there’s an area of your life that
you probably feel pretty darn good about
even if you’re not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you’re not close to
your kids maybe you don’t have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you’re doing not so good in
your career maybe you got a really great
body that you’ve trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or the way you look or if
that’s not happening made me feel really
special connection with God we’re really
close to your mother or father your
family whatever almost everybody has an
area of their life they feel really good
about if they’re honest if they’re fair
to themselves
what’s any of your life you really feel
happy about I want you think about it
for a moment truthfully what’s an area
in your life today that if you wanted to
be happy about it you really could feel
proud about you could feel like so no
you’re doing darn well in and if you’re
really hard on yourself there’s still an
area what’s an area I want you to think
of it right now I want you think of that
area whether it’s your body or your
finances or your career or your intimate
relationship or your relationship with
your kids your relationship with your
Creator whatever it is I want you to
think about why are you happy with that
air of your life right now today why are
you happy with that area of your life
right now today really think about if
you’re in a seminar with me I’d have you
write this down if you can you could put
me on hold here for a second because I’d
like to reveal to you what the formula
is for happiness and if I say there’s a
formula for happiness and here’s what it
is you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure that’s
what he says but if you put down the
answer and we can see the form of this
real without me telling you what it is
you get to look at your own life and say
it matches you’re gonna know this is
right so you could stop this right now
if you want put me on hold
and just write down what’s an area of
your life you’re really really happy
about you’re really pleased with or you
could be if you wanted to focus on it
and why are you happy with that part of
your life right now even if you’re happy
with everything what’s the year you’re
happy with and
why put me on hold right now or you’re
not gonna do that just think for a
moment why specifically be real why now
when they ask this if you’ve turned me
back on now if I ask this of an audience
I’ll have people write this down for a
few minutes and I’ll call in people I’ll
say share with the person next to you
first
what do you happy about why are you
happy in that area and be specific after
they share I’ll have people stand up
I’ll call in a variety people and I say
ma’am tell me what are you happy about
she’ll say well honestly I’m really
happy with my body she does I never
thought I’d say that but I used to be so
unhappy with it and you know I finally I
did some things I push myself through
and now I exercise regularly and you
know I’m not perfect but I feel fit I
feel strong I feel energetic and that’s
really I don’t know it just feels good
to me now I say everybody I’m now gonna
show you what the formula for happiness
is and it’s real simple I want to reveal
it to you so you don’t ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the era of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC your life conditions the conditions
of your life your life conditions in
that area match or equal to your
blueprint your story your belief about
how life should be in that area so this
woman says to me I’m really happily my
body because it’s not perfect her
blueprint is I don’t need to be perfect
but it’s so much better than it was
unfit and I’m strong and I have this
energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way or my life my body matches how
I think it should be I feel good about
my life
about somebody else I’ll say you know
tell me there you’re happy with someone
else to say well I’m really happy with
my career and why well I’m doing better
than I even thought I would be I mean
I’m ahead of the schedule of where I
hoped I’d be at this stage I’m working
at this level in this company and I have
these skills and this ability and it’s
even better than I thought well once
again listen this person is happy with
this area of their life because their
current life conditions in the area
called their career are even better than
they expected they would be better than
their blueprint better than their belief
about how it should be if it’s really
better you tend to be over the moon
would say you know I I kind of tell you
I said I’m the happies never been in my
whole life how come she goes because I
have this man in my life and I’m in love
with him and he loves me and I can be
myself with him and he we have this
incredible intimacy and this passion and
we want to be with each other all the
time and I never get bored with him well
what’s her blueprint you want to be with
somebody that you can have total
intimacy with somebody who you love and
loves you those are part of her rules
her beliefs of how it should be she said
it you know it’s needs to be I never
want to be with anybody else I want to
be with him every moment her blueprint
about how life should be and the way she
lives her relationships even better than
she hoped when it’s better than you hope
you’re gonna be totally excited so think
about this then what’s an area you’re
not happy with let’s see we can find the
formula for unhappiness if the formula
for happiness is to be able to meet your
expectations or exceed them that we
really make sure excited but to be happy
at least Mita doesn’t have to be perfect
but if you generally are meaning what
you expect you want from your life in
that area feel good right conditions
match blueprint feel good so what makes
you feel bad or creates pain stress
frustration little easy way to figure it
out answer this question
what’s an area life you’re not happy
with let me be honest with yourself and
even if your life is great all kinds of
ways I’m sure there’s an area you’d like
to improve anybody is honest if they’re
doing great in their career very often
don’t take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong and they go I don’t have time
for it what you’re really saying is I
don’t feel very competent that area so
what’s an area of your life that you are
not as happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
that’s what we’re here to do is like
here’s what I want to be here’s where I
am it’s healthy to see there’s a gap
that makes
may have this hunger to strive to grow
to feel alive to expand as a human being
so what’s an area not pleased with is it
your body is it your finances is it your
career is it your spiritual life or lack
thereof in terms of feeling connected in
that area is it your kids like what’s
the area what’s the area that’s not
where you want it to be and then answer
for a moment why aren’t you happy with
that area of your life right now why
specifically today are you not happy
with that area of your life at this
stage of your time of your life again
you can stop this and write it down
might be useful for you or if you’re
gonna keep it running stop it and you’ll
turn it right back on I’ll kick into it
do that now or if you kept it running
then just I’ll give you what happens I
have people write this down and they
don’t like this exercise so much oh I
don’t like my body or I don’t like my
finances I don’t like my career I don’t
like the person I’m in a relationship
with I don’t like myself the way I’m in
relationships why they write it all down
how people share back and forth I call
on people and the lessons pretty clear I
tell people in advance here’s the
formula for unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and I said
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy when the person says well you know
I’m really not happy with my finances
and I go why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy and why are they crazy
you say well because they don’t have
their economic needs met no you cannot
have your economic needs met and you
could still be okay but when you have an
idea this is what my need is and I did
the wrong thing
my life doesn’t match how I’m supposed
to be that’s when people get a little
crazy so you think about it if you grew
up taking care of folding your own
clothes making your own meals going to
the store doing the grocery shopping
cleaning the bedroom cleaning the house
vacuuming taking out the trash and you
did that your whole life then if you
have to do that later on you don’t feel
like you have economic pain because you
don’t have a maid but if you grew up an
environment where everything was done
for you you never have to work and now
suddenly you have to work incredibly
hard to just pay enough money to pay
your bills and all of a sudden food is
building up and the house is dirty and
your clothes aren’t folded and nothing
matches you might find yourself really
angry and frustrated because you have a
different story about how life’s
supposed to be then how it is someone
else’s say well I’ll tell you why
because I’m in a situation now where you
know I’m 30 pounds everything I should
be should be the key word there are
people there are people in all cultures
who love being big there are people that
will walk around and someone else might
think they’re massively overweight but
they’re gone I own this honey and they
really truly they match their blueprint
big is beautiful because their ideas big
is beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when asked people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living or we feel
like a pain that just will never go away
and I’ll people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while keen if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need to be an NBA
basketball player at least
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle’s my aunts
I am the successful one in the family
and I make the money I support everybody
he’s a good man he didn’t come just to
be successful he took care of his mother
his family’s he tried to be an
inspiration for people joaquin hawkins
as a man i was always going out on his
free time and training kids and showing
them the pathway to freedom how they
could play basketball and get free like
he did and get out of the inner city so
this man is not a selfish man but he
knew this is the way to be worthwhile
this is the way to be able to give to
people this is the way to take care of
your family and all of a sudden one
night what happened that way was taken
from him he has a stroke and another
night his life conditions make it
impossible to be who he has to be or he
feels like he’s worthless to get it we
have an identity we have a story of how
we’re supposed to be and if life somehow
gets in the way of that story we feel
pain but if we feel we have no control
that’s when we go into suffering see
it’s one thing to say my life doesn’t
match my blueprint I got to lose weight
that might stress you out or my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not in a
relationship I gotta get in one that
might motivate you even you might not
like it but you’re gonna find a way to
get on with or my career doesn’t matter
I should be you could change it but when
you start believing that your life
doesn’t match your blueprint and you
have no control to change it you’re
helpless that’s when people suffer and
so this week for your breakthrough it’s
a chance for you to start to take a look
at your blueprint anywhere you’re really
having pain yeah look if you’re doing
great in some area of your life
celebrate of course and I’m sure there
are many areas you are but life is
really a series of growth spurts I mean
two things in life make you feel alive
growing and giving and what’s really
wonderful about this man Joaquin is he
was constantly growing trying to get
better trying to be a better team
a better basketball player think about
it when you didn’t make the teams and
even make the NBA he didn’t give up he
worked even harder the guy was always
striving striving to become something
and he became it and he achieved it and
then life took it from him
isn’t that the common denominator with
so many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean Frank and Kristin
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married to have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered that
Frank discovered I can make a difference
in my wife the chair even though I
didn’t create this and then asked for
this chair does not define me I can
become more than I was before I can have
the impact of my wife I can have
children we had to change his blueprint
because we couldn’t change all the
conditions of his life does that make
sense I couldn’t get him to physically
walk again maybe someday he will but we
can’t count on that well we gotta count
on is that he can be fulfilled by seeing
he isn’t helpless that I did that to a
series of experiences that violated what
he thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true in almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
Joaquin said well I I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that where we get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and you think you’re
helpless to change it now you have only
three choices choice one blame something
and that’s what what Keane did if you
recall he blamed his coach he blamed
what happened to him and of course these
things were outside his control but he
blamed his coach and a big part of the
healing if you watch this session was
bringing his coach in and getting him to
see hey you know what all that anger all
resentment inside of you Akeem a it’s
not based on the truth and be like
Nelson Mandela said you know having
resentment in your soul is like drinking
poison and hoping that your enemy will
die and then work that way then when
Joaquin was able to break out his
breakthrough was a change in perception
to realize this coach wasn’t stopping me
I just felt like I lost everything and
so I don’t know how to change it so I’m
looking for something to be mad about
someone to blame so so I don’t have to
blame myself or I don’t have to feel so
helpless
because when you’re angry you don’t feel
so helpless you feel strong for the
moment even though it’s a fake strength
when he was able to make that
breakthrough he could stop blaming
because these are three choices when
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be blame something an event
someone else or yourself as we talked
about earlier in the series blame games
just destroy you there’s no progress in
your plan for the moment you feel okay
but nothing changes what are your real
choices you only have two choices in
life if life doesn’t match your
blueprint you either have to change your
life that is you kind of say you know
what my body isn’t there I’m gonna go
work out my relationship isn’t there I’m
gonna change it you know I’m not making
one I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m
gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go back
to school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy
if you can’t change your life you’re
gonna have to change your blueprint
usually in life it requires a little bit
of each does that make sense
and if you change your take change your
life and change your blueprint you can
have an extraordinary life and what you
witness this man do was once he let go
of his anger and his denial once he
started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball or not of course
he’d love to play basketball but
professional basketball is no longer
part of it and we had to get Joaquin to
shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor for
all of us because all of us are gonna
have times in our life when what we want
or think life should be like isn’t gonna
match how life really is those moments
if we blame our life goes into pain if
we change we can change our life and
match our blueprint but we have to also
know when it’s
not within our control and that’s how
we’re able to make a shift and change
what our story is for our life what our
expectations are not by lowering them
but by changing what that model really
is helping this make sense to you I’ll
give you a great example
years ago I do a lot of work with
businesspeople celebrities people of all
kinds the walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details who
can’t figure exactly who it is but it
would be a person who was very
successful as a woman who was extremely
attracted by cultural standards a woman
who’s had a lot of dear friends a lot of
deep respect so great skill great
ability extremely talented quite
attractive quite wealthy in financial
terms and lots of great friends this
would be for most people’s idea the
ultimate blueprint if your life matches
that description you must have an
incredible life but ironically this
particular individuals famous as they
were was depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on the through
counseling she’s got all these different
drugs nothing’s working she’s thinking
antidepressants and she’s still
depressed which is not uncommon by the
way because if you change the way you
feel physically but you still see your
life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level can you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is I know if someone’s depressed
it’s because they feel helpless because
their life doesn’t match what they think
it should be I just didn’t know what her
blueprint is but we’ll find out what it
is and we’ll either help her change your
life or well pretend your blueprint or
both
long story short and very quickly I’ll
tell you the core of it which came to me
and she spent maybe the first half an
hour telling me apologizing saying I
know I should be happier I know it’s
silly
for me to be depressed I don’t know why
I’m so depressed
III know I should be grateful for what I
have and I am grateful it was all these
reasons why she knows she should feel
good but still didn’t I try to finally
explain to her listen I don’t care about
that I care about you
the fact that you’re not happy has
nothing to do with what you have or
don’t have the fact that you’re not
happy is that your life doesn’t match
the way you think it should be and you
have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this
depressed that for all this time you
feel like you can’t do anything you have
no power to change it you feel helpless
and she looked at me in a certain way
and I said so what is that what did you
want your life to be like she goes well
it sounds stupid doesn’t like it sounds
stupid to me she said well I don’t know
I just always since I was a little girl
dreamed that I would be married and I’ll
have three basically perfect children
and they would love me totally and my
but my husband he loved me and I said
okay so how’s that working for you so
far and she said well I think you know
who’s pretty famous person she said I’m
divorced twice I have no children and
now X age and to give you a clue that
age would be an age where having a child
your own natural child at least barring
a medical miracle is not going to happen
so I said to her well why don’t you just
adopt says no no no no no that’s not it
and so what I had to dig under is
remember we talked to one of the earlier
sessions about there’s the surface
problem and then there’s the deeper
desire or need so I said to her I said
well what if you couldn’t have the
husband but you could have the kids and
she smiled she said I’d take that I said
well why not adopted kid she goes now it
has to be my own blood children so I
kept digging to find out what was behind
her blueprint because your blueprint is
just a projection of what you think you
need to be happy but as human beings
were notoriously ineffective at knowing
that’s gonna make us happy so much what
we think we’re gonna make us happy we
get there we go is this all there is so
many things that we think are going to
make us miserable and we can never deal
with we go through it we can
handle it we’re not good at projecting
these things all kinds of studies will
show this so I said to her well what
what are you hoping to get from these
three children why do they have to be
your blood children and she finally said
well if they’re my blood children I know
they’ll always love me they’ll never
leave me what was she looking for
unconditional love she had this big
blueprint that said white house picket
fence three children perfect husband you
know all these different things but what
was behind that was a need and need to
feel like she could have loved that
would be certain and wouldn’t go away so
I can help her meet that need so I said
to her I said well maybe one reason you
don’t have a husband is because every
time you look at one you’re trying to
figure out if he’s gonna get you those
three kids in time and how that’s gonna
happen and maybe he feels a little
stressed when he’s low you’re looking at
in this way because he can feel what’s
going on behind your bed even if he
doesn’t know what the words are and she
started laughs because I guess I’ve
probably been that way a good portion of
my life and she goes people wonder you
know why I’m so uptight
I say you’re uptight because you were
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love I said don’t
Channel I love you I’ve tell me about
your friends and gradually I got her to
start seeing this love that she was
trying to get was already here it didn’t
match the picture maybe maybe we could
paint a new picture of what life could
really be like and make sure that
picture met her deepest needs that’s
basically we did Joaquin Joaquin wanted
to be a professional basketball player
cuz he loved basketball yes but also
because he wanted to be that man who was
a leader he wanted to be a man who was
the good man he want to be the one who
brought energy to people he want to be
the man people would look up to he want
to be the man who could take care of his
family and style all of his family not
just his daughters and his wife but
other people as well underneath it all
he wanted to know that he mattered and
through the process that you saw in the
show he began to find out that he didn’t
need to be angry at the world that yes
his blueprint was taken from him but his
soul and his ability to be a special
human being and they could touch other
people was not taken from him that may
be his real gift was his ability to
inspire young kids his ability to get
himself to do whatever it took how do
you become a
professional basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started to
change he’s turned out Mary could come
home and take care of his kids and pay
his bills that doesn’t solve everything
but it gives him a way to suddenly
regain himself when he sat around with
all of his family you saw part of those
scenes and if you watch little areas of
browsing this week you’ll see some more
scenes from his family where you see him
begin you realize they love me whether
I’m rich or poor they love me
I’m a professional basketball player or
not they love me that’s what he was
really after and he got that it allowed
him to let go and say I can do other
things that doesn’t mean he won’t have
challenges we’re all gonna have
challenges in our life it doesn’t mean
that at times he won’t wish he’s doing
more but he’s no longer stuck he’s
broken through because he now knows I
have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and when I do I
can fulfill it I can start to fill that
aliveness now here’s the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly once you figure out
how to do what you always dreamed of you
always dream to live a certain way and
now you’re living that way live in that
way living that way everyday well the
human nervous system human spirit needs
to grow so pretty soon you’ll get bored
with that and you’ll come up with a new
blueprint that’s part of the part of
life that’s exciting
see if you and I are from this day
forward our gonna be happy just remember
what we’ve said it takes two things grow
and give a meaningful life comes from
growing that sense of progress and it
comes from having life not just be about
me but about we doing something that
makes me feel connected to other people
besides myself that growth that sense of
contribution fills a deep spiritual need
that we all have if you are unhappy in
your life you got three choices really
to blame that’s not a choice it’s not
gonna work don’t blame someone else
don’t blame you that don’t blame
yourself just figure out what you’re
gonna do to change your life that’s my
specialty if you like my coaching or my
team’s coaching come visit with us cuz
I’m doing it that come get a coach come
to a program I will guide you through it
more than just a few minutes like this
and we’ll do it directly an environment
that will shift you or change your
blueprint you’re gonna have to rewire
what’s going on inside and that’s what
we focus on as well
so I hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope that’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life it takes realizing you have no
problems compared to somebody else in
putting your life in perspective it
takes the ability to deal with those
extreme stresses that happen in your
life by questioning your limiting
beliefs and again if we’d love to coach
you and show you how to change those in
a permanent way where it happens
automatically just like lifting weights
so up until the muscle is always there
and you find yourself able to follow
through it takes for you to be able to
figure out how to deal with crisis and
how to turn it around
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you
it takes putting yourself in a position
where you connect to what’s more
important than just yourself what you
value than just yourself and it takes I
think in this case also the ability to
realize that no matter what happens to
you you’re more than that moment you’re
more than the story you think you’re
supposed to be and that even when you’re
not matching what you think you need to
be maybe there’s a reason for that maybe
you’re having to find a different part
of yourself that’s gonna fulfill you in
a much deeper level sometimes failing to
get your goal gives you your destiny I
can’t tell you how many people I’ve
known over the years who have an idea of
what they thought their life was
supposed to be like and they didn’t
achieve it they got miserable and upset
and frustrated then one day an opening
happened and they went oh my god thank
God that didn’t happen
I think it’s Garth Brooks had a great
song and it’s a song about when he was
in high school and he was in love with
this girl infatuated with her and she
didn’t even know that he existed and he
prayed to God every day that she would
notice him that she would fall in love
with him and then sure enough if she
never did he was so disappointed his
blueprint didn’t match his life didn’t
match it because she didn’t even know he
existed and he felt this suffering he
could do nothing to turn it around well
15 years later he became a guy named
Garth Brooks somebody everybody knew and
he could rock you know stadiums with his
energy and his song and his music and he
goes back to being this high school
reunion it was his 15-year EFM
correctly I don’t remember the exact
year but all I remember is he said he
saw that woman that he was so obsessed
by I was looking forward to seeing her
and now it was Garth Brooks and he met
her and after he met her and spent some
time with her he wrote a song called
thank God for unanswered prayers
sometimes not getting your blueprints
the best thing that ever happen because
the disappointment drives you to find
something more important inside of you
or not getting it makes you look for
another aspect of your life a spiritual
aspect of a family aspect a physical
aspect if you can just trust that life
doesn’t happen to you it happens for you
then you can find in any situation a
benefit that can take your life to the
next level I don’t care if you’re Frank
and Christian I don’t care if you’re you
know Mandy and Scott I don’t care if
you’re Joaquin and Kim every one of us
in our life is gonna feed faced
situations where it feels like we have
total trauma something that’s been taken
from us the real question is what are
you gonna do with it some people just
live in the story of what they don’t
have and they have the right to do that
if Frank and Chris them lived in pain
and felt bad we’d all say they have the
right to do it it’s a different thing
what you have the right to do and what
you deserve to give yourself and others
we have the ability to transcend
whatever happens to us there’s something
called post-traumatic growth very few
people know about it two people go
through the same stress one’s destroyed
the other grows what’s the difference
the people that grow will not give up
they don’t have any excuses they find
the way to break through whatever it
takes and when they do three things
happen number one they realize who they
really are and what they’re capable of
they realize there’s so much stronger
than they thought they were and number
two they deepen all their relationships
you want to know who really cares about
you who you love and who loves you go
through some tragedy go through some of
hard times all your Facebook friends go
away your real friends your real family
shows up for you and you show up for
them and it deepens your relationships
and the third thing happens if you can
push yourself through and break through
whatever challenges life gives you is
each time you ever break through you get
and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you where
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore
cuz after you’ve been through a stroke
after you’ve been through you know
losing the use of some of your body or
senses after you lose a family member
and you break through to that you get to
the other side it’s like give me your
best shot life it’s almost like there’s
this psychological immunity that says
I’m ready for whatever life will give me
I don’t want challenges but if they’re
here I know I can handle them that’s
strength of spirit is what creates a
sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly a never ending thing you way
to improve yourself and to help others
that’s my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope they’ll
check us out there’s three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend at our unleash
the power within or our date with
destinies I think you’ll find it’s very
different than just sitting here talking
to you quietly sitting in front of your
computer screen it’s a rock’n’roll
environment it’s like going to the
ballpark and having one person sitting
there talking to you versus being in the
ballpark of the rock and roll concert
you know with 50,000 there’s an energy
and a power that comes from it second is
there’s immersion here we talked for an
hour there’s distractions and emails
there it’s total focus and we go for an
immersion we’re literally what we did
here over six weeks few little
conversations all that happens over and
over again multiple times a day and you
get that shift so come to an event or
call up and get a coach we have people
that you can work with and have a free
coaching session and make sure it’s
really valuable for you but these are
people that can check in with you to
help make sure you break through you
make the changes you want to make and
your career or your finances or your
body or your emotions or whatever area
matters to you and finally lastly and
probably most importantly every day you
got to feed your mind because every day
most of us are turning on you know some
form of news it shows up in our pocket
and our blackberries or I you know iPods
or iPhones I should say it shows up you
know on your computer constantly it
chases us and it rarely does a good idea
interrupt you really what you have to do
is pursue the ideas pursue the
experiences they’re gonna change
life and we have a way to do it called
net time no extra time a wave where you
can keep feeding your mind the stuff
that really matters with some products
or services so if you’re interested in
any of those things be sure to click on
your interest of an event or interest in
having a free coaching session or maybe
try one of our audio programs because
the other challenge here is with video
got to sit here potentially and watch me
but with audio you can do it while
you’re working out you can do it while
you’re cleaning the house you can do it
while you’re driving in the car or
you’re getting to work we’d love to
continue serving you in any way we can I
know I’ve gone long in this session but
I really want you to think about how can
I get my life the way I want it to be
the way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life match my
blueprint and suddenly my life feels
full and alive thank you for the time
that we spent together here I’ve really
enjoyed our time and I hope that this
breakthrough series reminds you to never
settle for less than you can be never
settle for less than you can give or you
can share LIVESTRONG loop of passion and god bless
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