I want to share with you what I believe
is the controlling force and all human
behavior what drives us in other words
everyone could take action literally if
it’s that simple if all it takes to
succeed is the ability to know what you
want take action know if it’s working
and keep changing until you get what you
want how come everybody doesn’t do it
the reason is fear and the fear is
usually fear of failure or success or
rejection but the real word I would use
for this thing we’re afraid of is pain I
believe that every single person on this
earth is driven by two forces number one
their need to avoid pain and number two
their desire to gain pleasure
those two twin forces are the drive
behind all human behavior so let me ask
you a question my guess would be this
isn’t the first set of self-improvement
tapes that you’ve invested in your
lifetime did you really use the last set
you invested in my hallucination is the
answer is no you didn’t use them at
least at the level you could have and
the reason I quote-unquote hallucinate
that is I found out the statistics show
that less than 10 percent of the people
who purchased tape programs ever
listened to them in their entirety that
just blows my mind
somebody’s invested money time they
wanted a result but they didn’t follow
through or worse they invested in a
program and they listened to it and then
they didn’t use what they listened to
but there’s anything that I’m gonna try
and push you to do as your friend and as
your success coach if you’ll let me be
that for you in this program it’s to get
you to act on everything we talked about
to keep the ideas simple and focus but
get you to use them so you don’t have to
have a complicated idea to make a
difference in your life what you need
are ideas that you apply and that’s what
we really gonna go for a thousand
percent in this program but the question
is how could somebody go to school how
could somebody go to a seminar how could
somebody read an excellent book and
still not produce the result so why
didn’t I fall through I obviously wanted
the results that I knew this book could
give me why haven’t you followed through
on some of the things you know you
really want
why not why haven’t you used your
personal power and take an action what
has prevented you from taking action and
I would suggest to you it’s what this
tape is about the to controlling forces
have directed your life and kept you at
times from taking action those forces
again are the twin forces of pain and
pleasure remember everything we do in
life we do out of our need to avoid pain
or a desire to gain pleasure I’ll give
you an example I don’t know if you’re a
lady listening or a gentleman but when I
speak to audiences all invariably ask
the ladies in the audience please raise
your hand if you put on makeup today do
you know that 90% of the audience will
raise their hand many times 99 now think
about that why do they put on makeup
each day or why do you if you’re a lady
why is it because you wake up in the
morning and say look in the mirror and
say god I love this process I doubt it
very seriously why you put it on us for
one of two reasons you put on the makeup
because in your mind you say you know
putting on makeup makes me feel more
attractive so what is that doing why are
you taking action to gain pleasure or
you might say well gosh when I put on
makeup people think I’m more attractive
they feel more attracted to me which
again makes you feel good it makes you
feel a pleasurable type of feeling
that’s why you do it now some people
wake up in the morning and that’s not
why they put on makeup
some women wake up in the morning and
they say how come men don’t have to do
this but they still do it why because
their brain says well if I don’t put it
on somebody’s gonna say what happened to
your face and some people of course do
it for a combination of the two the
point is the only reason they put it on
is to avoid pain and to gain pleasure
some combination of those things hey
have you ever procrastinated is it what
a dumb question of course what is
procrastination it’s the opposite of
using your personal power it’s being
immobilized it’s needing to do something
and not following through I call it the
silent killer because it grows on you
it just kind of creeps along until
pretty soon that’s taking control of
your life pretty soon you find yourself
immobilized in a bunch of areas and you
don’t even realize it you don’t even
notice all the freedom you’ve given up
just because of procrastination so what
is it though why do we procrastinate why
do we not use our power which is what we
talked about in the first tape let’s
figure out what style
the reason is when we procrastinate it’s
because we think that taking action
whatever action we’re putting off that
taking that action would be more painful
than doing nothing or not taking action
that’s the bottom line
in other words by not taking action now
where else do they affect you well let’s
take a look do you overeat some people
say well I’m gonna go on a diet yep I’m
just gonna go up there and I’m gonna
starve myself and then I’m gonna be real
skinny how often does that work
I’d say slim and none in fact studies
show that ninety-five percent of the
people who go on a diet within 2 years
had not only gained the weight back but
have also usually gained an additional
two pounds beyond the weight they were
on when they went on the diet in the
first place see trying to create more
pain in your life rarely works because I
got to tell you something they need to
avoid pain is biological it’s built into
your nervous system why because it’s a
survival mechanism and your brain is
gonna fight like crazy any time it sees
that you’re asking to do something
that’s gonna lead to pain so what do we
need to do to change our eating patterns
what do we need to do so we get
permanent weight loss and we have a
physical health we want well the first
thing I would do if I were you is I find
some of the foods that you’re obviously
addicted to and in other words foods
that you eat on a regular basis and you
eat them
excess why do you mean excess you go
well because when I was growing up these
and these things happen to me no that’s
not true there’s only one reason you eat
more food than you should because it’s
pleasurable because you like to eat that
chocolate cuz you think good divert
chocolate you just go into a state where
you’ve got to have it see your associate
deep deep pleasure and that’s why you go
for it now you say yeah but being fat is
really painful that’s true but the
reason you ate the chocolate cuz in that
moment what was more real to you the
pain of being fat or the pleasure of the
chocolate I would assume that it was the
pleasure of the chocolate if you’re
overeating so what we’ve got to do to
make a change in our life is not go out
and discipline ourselves but to change
what we link pleasure and what we link
pain to so what if you saw somebody that
you really attracted to and you wanted
to be with them you want to develop a
relationship but you didn’t follow
through how come
real simple isn’t it because you
associated more pain to walking up and
asking him for a date than not doing it
you thought well gosh but if I could do
it I can have the pleasure but which one
was a more powerful motivating force the
pleasure of being in relationship or the
potential pain of being rejected if he
didn’t follow through I’m sorry to sound
so simplistic but let’s talk about what
really drives human behavior and I think
there are certain basic fundamentals
that drive our behavior when we
understand them we can start to utilize
them to change our life and if we don’t
understand them
then what we do is we keep running up
against the brick wall have you
experienced that we are trying to make a
change trying to make a change trying to
make a change but it never happens why
because your internal associations about
pain and pleasure haven’t changed in
other words you keep thinking if I do
this is going to be in a ton of pain and
so you stopped short a classic example
is in relationships you know a lot of
people in life get this bug they say I
want to be in a relationship why because
they think being in a relationship would
mean lots of what pleasure love
happiness security being close all those
special feelings spirituality
right that feeling of oneness then they
get in a relationship and they say I
don’t want to be in a relationship right
all of a sudden they begin to think
relationship means pain or worse they
think a relationship is the most
incredible thing in the world they love
this person they give a thousand percent
of themselves they think about them
constantly and then as time goes by
something happens and this person let’s
say leaves them or breaks up with them
or smashes the heart the challenge is
this most people have not learned how to
deal with it most of us don’t
consciously look at what we link pain
and what we link pleasure to and so our
lives are in reaction instead of in
control so for example let’s say you had
a great relationship somebody you really
loved give a hundred percent as we
started to talk about and then all of a
sudden one day something bad happens
they cheated on you they left you they
lost interest they were less motivated
or attracted than you were what happens
for some peoples they have this thing
called pain at this moment and what they
link up in their mind is relationships
equal pain now there’s a problem because
also in their mind they have this other
association in their nervous system and
then Association is relationships equal
pleasure so what happens in the future
well
for a long time this person will
probably avoid relationships you know
they won’t get too attracted they won’t
express themselves real fully or they’ll
be a little bit more closed down does
this sound like somebody you know maybe
somebody you know personally and then
what happens is eventually you know
maybe some of the pain wears off and
they see somebody and they get attracted
or they develop a neat relationship and
it starts to grow but there’s a point in
the relationship when it’s going really
really well when all of a sudden that
person begins to sabotage the
relationship have you ever done that
usually it’s because inside your mind
something has happened and your brains
going oh my gosh I’m getting all this
pleasure ah but I know what’s happening
next relationships will equal pain
eventually so I better get out quick
before the pain gets here now I want you
to realize that this idea of pain and
pleasure doesn’t just shape your
emotional life or whether for example
you smoke cigarettes or overeat or
whatever the case may be but it affects
every aspect of your life every aspect
big things and little things you know
sometimes business people say anyboy
this pain pleasure thing this really
affects my business doesn’t I said
affect your business it’s everything I
mean it all comes down to people don’t
even buy the best product anymore they
buy the product they associate the most
pleasure to in the least pain you know
all marketing is when you watch the
commercials then trying to get you to
link pleasure to their product and pain
to the competition management is
understanding pain and pleasure what
drives somebody because if you want to
motivate a human being you got to find
out what already motivates them if you
want to influence them you gotta find
out what already influences them what
are they already linked pain or pleasure
to I mean I give an example I worked
with a gentleman he was one of the first
people that I took on as a private
client now I have a group of people that
pay me between one and four million
dollars a year to personally coach them
they don’t say that to impress you but I
don’t impress upon you these people will
not pay that kind of money unless they
get real results and this man was the
first clan I took on was a man who made
a half a billion dollars in one day one
of the top financial traders in the
world that’s pretty amazing but then he
went through this challenge and the
challenge was he couldn’t get himself to
make any money for almost nine straight
months he was losing money and so he
tried everything to turn things around
and pretty soon as you might guess he
linked major pain to trading because
every time he traded he Lou
his old identity was he was the best in
the world so he hired me to come in
because he was at the point where he
literally couldn’t get himself to go
into the office because going to the
office equal pain I mean can you imagine
someone that good being that shut down
and what I would call learned
helplessness and the man was really a
genius but his conditioning was taking
over so I came in and helped him to
change this pain pleasure I also helped
him to evaluate and study him to find
out what was he doing at his very best
when he was the best in the world what
was he doing with his body which we’re
gonna teach you about something called
state and physiology in this program the
very things I did with him what was he
doing differently in the way he made
decisions how was he evaluating things a
lot of what this program teaches I did
with him personally and I began to turn
him around and most importantly getting
a link massive pleasure to trading along
with making sure he was using the right
principles you can get all pumped up and
excited and linked pleasure and do the
wrong thing so by a combination those
aspects within less than 12 months of
coaching him and I did the seen him once
a month and then talking to him about
once a week on the phone and daily
through faxes he made more than a
hundred million dollars turn things
completely around and develop momentum
again so I just want you to get this is
really important for you if you’re in
business as well as important for you
and your personal life and also it
doesn’t matter how tough things are you
know I dealt with a woman couple years
ago who had a hundred and fifty two
personalities and she started splitting
in the middle of my seminar and in 45
minutes I was able to help her to
integrate herself and the way I did that
was by understanding the relationship of
these six human needs as well as the
principle of pain and pleasure so I want
you know when you master this area of
your life you can change virtually
anything and you’ve got a master around
the area of learning things are changing
so rapidly the one skill you gotta have
is the ability to learn rapidly and you
know what we’re in school we linked
massive pain learning most of us and so
kids boy you can turn them around so
easily when you entertain them a little
bit you’re not trying to make this
little tape program somewhat
entertaining I just got my voice to try
and do it and tease you and push you but
hopefully you can feel the difference
and you will over the next few days as
we go through each day day after day
building momentum but you know what the
secret is to realize there’s so much
information the only stuff we pay
attention to is the stuff that moves us
emotionally something that inspires us
or makes us laugh or makes us
makes us feel that’s the stuff we
remember and that’s the stuff we use so
pain and pleasure is shaping every air
your life what we want to do in this
tape is really start to take control of
it so we’re not in reaction to our old
conditioning but we’re in charge of it
and the first step to that is awareness
of this principle the awareness that
this is shaping us and how it works so
the controlling force of our life then
the thing that directs our life is what
we link pain and what we link pleasure
to think about it advertisers know all
about this don’t they advertisers know
that if we’re gonna get people to take
action to use their power to buy things
we got to get them to associate
pleasurable feelings to our product or
show them how they can eliminate some
pain they already have by buying our
product think about it isn’t that what
they really did in those old AT&T
commercials AT&T tried to give you the
pleasure and the pain what’d they do
they didn’t come on with a commercial
and say listen I know you miss your
mother call her no no no first they took
out a big knife and they stabbed you in
the chest with it right they came out
there and they showed this poor old lady
saying gosh my son hasn’t called me in
forever I miss him he probably doesn’t
even love me anymore oh my gosh I’m
being left alone so all the grandmas in
the world start to feel pain because
they realize their son hasn’t called
them in at least 15 minutes come on the
other side right here is the sun’s out
there in the world and/or daughters who
are watching this going guilt guilt
oh gosh yeah I’ve been busy I need a
call and everything else and pretty soon
what happens is in the same 30 seconds
after making you feel almost pain for
not calling they then show you that by
calling you’ll get what pleasure how
does it work in the same 30 or 60 second
commercial what happens is the Sun picks
up the phone and calls mom and she
smiles oh my gosh she does love me and
she smiles and the music comes on behind
it he’s smiling and there’s an
incredible bond and connection you just
feel your heart opening and at the end
of it they say don’t let your family
drift away
and what’s happened in 60 seconds
they’ve gotten you to link to their
product a way to avoid pain plus they
stirred up some of your pain made you
hurt a little more so you’re more
motivated and simultaneously showing you
how you can heal it and get pleasure
just by picking up this little device
that’s nearby that they’ll make money if
you take action on now I’m not against
it because I think it’s a great tool but
I want you to realize it’s a pain
pleasure commercial and then there was
Citibank Visa right it’s interesting to
see what Citibank used to motivate
people versus say American Express and
what they used they both had two classic
commercials in the City Bank commercial
there’s a dark background and a man
comes on and he’s got a lot of pain and
he says yeah I got the phone call it’s
four o’clock in the morning my father
was having a heart attack I had no money
and all sudden it comes on and the
Citibank lady comes on with a smile and
says you know we heard about his problem
and she said we wanted to help he called
us he told us what he needed the money
for we gave him the credit goes back to
the man yep because a Citibank I was
there I was there at my father’s
hospital bed
thanks to Citibank people who care now
what’s the implication here well if you
want to solve the pain your life just
get a city big visa and they’ll handle
it you need more money hey just go
they’ll handle what they understand well
that’s an interesting way of looking at
things so how can we use this
understanding of the controlling force
how can we use the understanding that
pain is a greater motivator than even
pleasure well the way to use it is to
begin to understand that in any moment
in time our reality is based on whatever
we focus on that is at any moment of
time whatever you focus on is what’s
most real to you for example if you’re
looking that piece of chocolate and you
think about eating the chocolate and you
just let your mind flow based on its old
associations it might say gumbo it’s
time to eat you might immediately get
that pleasure feeling and as long as you
focus on the pleasure you’re gonna get
and that is your primary focus and
that’s what’s most real to you then
you’re gonna be drawn towards the
chocolate but haven’t you also had times
where you didn’t eat the chocolate or
you didn’t eat something that normally
you’re kind of addicted to having there
been times when you stopped yourself how
have you done that the answer is you
chain
your focus and you focused on the pain
you probably would experience or the
pleasure you would get by not eating the
chocolate so what you did is instead of
just thinking intellectually well yeah
not eating the chocolate will make me
thinner you literally focused on hey I’m
gonna be going to this particular ball
and I want to look like a million bucks
I want to feel strong if I eat that
target I’m gonna feel lousy I’m gonna
feel bloated I’m gonna feel heavy so you
began to focus on all the pain plus all
the pleasure you get by not eating it
and your behavior changed isn’t that
true if you’ve ever stuck to a diet for
example isn’t it true that the way you
stuck to it is one day you finally got
to the point we had had it he said look
I looked in the mirror one day or
somebody said something to you or you
noticed that you were just feeling
sloppy and tired and you went through
what I call threshold threshold is when
you experience so much pain you said
I’ve had it that’s it
no more and then you begin to find a way
to change it well I believe that you can
do this with anything at any moment in
time and I know you can all you got to
do is control your mental focus so if
you want to change your behavior you
must focus on how not doing something is
gonna be more painful than just going
for
in other words link not taking action as
being more painful than just doing it
just the way we talked about with
procrastination do it to yourself
upfront don’t wait til life put you in a
pressure situation where you feel like
you have to do something does that make
sense so how can we use this in other
areas of our life do the same thing you
want to connect with somebody you want
to make sure you communicate with them
then think about if I don’t do this I
know I feel busy I know I feel
overloaded but if I don’t call them here
on their birthday or on Easter how’s it
gonna make them feel how am I gonna feel
you know that would be painful if I just
made the call and I connect with them
and they feel appreciated how’s that
gonna make me feel pleasurable use pain
and pleasure instead of having pain and
pleasure use you that’s the secret to
success you do that and you’re in
control of your life you don’t do that
and life controls you and unfortunately
for most people
life controls them so let’s change it
and in the next tape we’re going to talk
about specifically how would it change
what we associate pain and pleasure to
but
number one is just getting clear that
this is the controlling force of your
life if there’s anything you want to do
and you can’t figure out why you’re not
doing it there’s a simple answer you
link more pain to doing it they’re not
doing it hey if you don’t have enough
money for example I know that’s an issue
for a lot of people it was for a good
deal of my life if you don’t have money
there’s only one reason you link more
pain to having more money than they’re
not having it now you say okay Tony
you’ve been okay up until now now you’ve
gone over threshold I don’t buy that
theory hey I wouldn’t have bought it
either but it’s true I got to tell you
something you’re an intelligent person
you have the ability to produce results
you had enough personal power to make a
phone call put your money on the line
and now you’re falling through and
listening to it you’re in that top
one-tenth of one percent literally I
mean you aren’t just somebody who just
hanging out you’re willing to do
something about it even with all of that
your ability to follow through if you
don’t have the money that you want in
your life
imagine motivating your life as being a
scale if you would and on one side is
pain and the other is pleasure and your
brain is always weighing if I take this
action what’s it going to mean more
pleasure and less pain or more pain and
less pleasure if you’re not following
through it’s because you got that scale
weighted in the opposite direction as it
needs to be and if you’re gonna change
your behavior and use your personal
power then you’ve got to change what you
associate pain and pleasure to if you’re
sabotaging your success in any area of
your life it’s exactly the same reason
you’re having what I call approach
avoidance that is you have a mixed set
of associations about pain and pleasure
as I gave you the earlier example in a
relationship I want to be in a
relationship that will mean pleasure but
then you get into it you start to notice
some things in your brain so it might in
it might mean pain and so you start to
make relationships work and you sabotage
them you they do the same thing
financially that want money because
money will mean for me maybe more
freedom or I could give to my friends or
I could buy my kids something or I could
travel the world or I could learn
something new or I could hire this best
coach in the world to do something for
me and yet at the same time your brains
going yeah but then I’ll get judged or
you’ll have to give up all the stuff
I’ll have no time with my family and all
this pain and so you don’t follow
through and you begin to sabotage
financially if you’re going to change
that
once and for all forever you’ve got to
write now decide that you control the
focus of your mind and then if you’re
not following through all you have to do
is focus on what’s the pain I’m gonna
have if I don’t do this
most of us focus on what will be the
pain if I take action and we keep
ourselves from using our personal power
your focus has to be what will be the
pain if I don’t do it what will be the
ultimate price if I don’t follow through
what will it cost me emotionally
spiritually physically financially in my
life what will happen the juice and
passion in my life if I don’t follow
through if you start asking those
questions you’ll be able to motivate
yourself and when we get into the
goal-setting workshop in this program
you’re gonna find that I’m going to show
you not only on set goals and find out
what so let me give you an assignment
and then tomorrow we’re gonna show you
how to make changes rapidly but let’s
make some changes right now okay take
out your journal I want you to write
down four actions that you need to take
in your life that you’ve been putting
off now I know you made some decisions a
day or so ago but I want you to look at
for more things what are four actions
that you need to take maybe you need to
lose some weight maybe you need to stop
smoking maybe what you do is you need to
make a phone call you haven’t followed
through on maybe its initiating a new
job interview for you maybe what it is
is communicating to somebody that you
really really are attracted or maybe
it’s you’re in a relationship with
somebody and you haven’t communicated
how much you really love them in a long
time real directly you kind of taken it
for granted I don’t know what it is but
I want you right now to write down what
are for actions that you could take
immediately that you’ve been putting off
you know you should take but you haven’t
done it again make these four different
than the ones you already did yesterday
don’t go oh I did two of them yes that
means I have to do two more day no
remember I said each day we’re gonna do
a little more we’re gonna crease the
weights we’re gonna develop more muscle
more will more power that’s what we’re
doing right now so you’re gonna write
down four new actions right four simple
actions that you’re gonna take and then
what I want you to do is I want you to
be honest with yourself I want you to
write down into each action that you’ve
not taken that you know you should I
want you to write down what is the pain
that you associate that’s kept you from
taking action in the past let’s just get
clear because I guarantee you that if
you’ve not taken action is because you
associated more pain to take an action
than not okay you’ve heard that about 19
times what you’re gonna hear it again
and again
you start to use it and I once heard a
story about this great Minister and
people came to his church and I listened
to him you know give this great sermon
and it was a phenomenal sermon and then
they came back the next week and he got
up and gave the same sermon and the
third week it was the same sermon and
after about five sermons in a row of the
exact same sermon a couple of the elders
in the church decided to pull the
minister aside and see if he was okay
and they said sir I don’t know quite how
to communicate this to you but are you
aware that some of what you’ve been
saying has been pretty much identical as
to what you said the last week and the
week before in the week before and
administer just smiled very calm he said
oh I’m glad you noticed I said well why
are you doing that he said I’m gonna
keep doing this sermon until you guys
start applying it if I sound like I’m
giving a sermon that sounds like the
same one it is we’re gonna make sure you
apply it and make sure you embed it so
one write down the four actions to make
sure you write down what is the pain
that you’ve associated it’s doing this
in the past and just be honest with
yourself and if you say Tony I have no
pain associated to it well then think a
little stronger maybe the pain is simple
maybe it’s like well the pain of taking
the time it’d be more painful to take
the time to do it than other things
you’re really more caught up in that you
think will give you more pleasure but
write it down third step I want you to
write down all the pleasure you’ve
gotten by not falling through because
sometimes why not falling through it’s
giving you pleasure too you go well I
don’t understand them well let’s say for
example you think you should lose some
weight and that specifically in order to
get that done one of the actions you
should take is to stop eating mass
quantities of chocolate or sugar or cake
or whatever it is okay now why haven’t
you done that well answer number one
because you associate pain to dieting in
fact what are the first three letters in
the word diet that ought to give you a
clue when most people want to avoid it
they feel like they’re dying the bottom
line is that’s kind of painful
so what have you done you’ve associated
taking something away loss equals pain
for most of us if we feel like we’re
losing something or giving something up
we feel like we’re losing weight it’s
gonna be painful so you go well gosh I
would be taking something away I would
be
anyway things I used to have pleasure
eating so that’s pain what are all the
pains you would associate step 3 what’s
the pleasure you get by still eating
while you get the pleasure of eating
chocolate you get that momentary feeling
inside so that’s step number three step
number four I want you to write down the
opposite what do I mean by that what I
mean is I want you to write down what it
will cost you if you don’t change that
is if you don’t stop eating chocolate in
mass quantities if you don’t stop
smoking if you don’t make that phone
call that you know you need to make if
you don’t start consistently working out
each day if you don’t go out and really
make an effort even though it may be
difficult to get through to that person
who in the past is make you mad if you
don’t do that what’s it gonna cost you
and be honest with yourself what will it
cost you over the next two three four or
five years what’s it gonna cost you
emotionally what’s gonna cost you in
your self-image what will cost you in
your physical energy level what will it
cost you and your feelings of
self-esteem what will it cost you
financially what will it cost you in
your direct relationships with the
people you care about most and I really
want you to hone it down and how does
that make you feel in other words don’t
just go well it’ll cost me money well I
will be fat that’s not enough you gotta
remember what drives us are our emotions
not our just our intellect so get
emotional about what will it cost you
and how would that make you feel to not get those results
is the controlling force and all human
behavior what drives us in other words
everyone could take action literally if
it’s that simple if all it takes to
succeed is the ability to know what you
want take action know if it’s working
and keep changing until you get what you
want how come everybody doesn’t do it
the reason is fear and the fear is
usually fear of failure or success or
rejection but the real word I would use
for this thing we’re afraid of is pain I
believe that every single person on this
earth is driven by two forces number one
their need to avoid pain and number two
their desire to gain pleasure
those two twin forces are the drive
behind all human behavior so let me ask
you a question my guess would be this
isn’t the first set of self-improvement
tapes that you’ve invested in your
lifetime did you really use the last set
you invested in my hallucination is the
answer is no you didn’t use them at
least at the level you could have and
the reason I quote-unquote hallucinate
that is I found out the statistics show
that less than 10 percent of the people
who purchased tape programs ever
listened to them in their entirety that
just blows my mind
somebody’s invested money time they
wanted a result but they didn’t follow
through or worse they invested in a
program and they listened to it and then
they didn’t use what they listened to
but there’s anything that I’m gonna try
and push you to do as your friend and as
your success coach if you’ll let me be
that for you in this program it’s to get
you to act on everything we talked about
to keep the ideas simple and focus but
get you to use them so you don’t have to
have a complicated idea to make a
difference in your life what you need
are ideas that you apply and that’s what
we really gonna go for a thousand
percent in this program but the question
is how could somebody go to school how
could somebody go to a seminar how could
somebody read an excellent book and
still not produce the result so why
didn’t I fall through I obviously wanted
the results that I knew this book could
give me why haven’t you followed through
on some of the things you know you
really want
why not why haven’t you used your
personal power and take an action what
has prevented you from taking action and
I would suggest to you it’s what this
tape is about the to controlling forces
have directed your life and kept you at
times from taking action those forces
again are the twin forces of pain and
pleasure remember everything we do in
life we do out of our need to avoid pain
or a desire to gain pleasure I’ll give
you an example I don’t know if you’re a
lady listening or a gentleman but when I
speak to audiences all invariably ask
the ladies in the audience please raise
your hand if you put on makeup today do
you know that 90% of the audience will
raise their hand many times 99 now think
about that why do they put on makeup
each day or why do you if you’re a lady
why is it because you wake up in the
morning and say look in the mirror and
say god I love this process I doubt it
very seriously why you put it on us for
one of two reasons you put on the makeup
because in your mind you say you know
putting on makeup makes me feel more
attractive so what is that doing why are
you taking action to gain pleasure or
you might say well gosh when I put on
makeup people think I’m more attractive
they feel more attracted to me which
again makes you feel good it makes you
feel a pleasurable type of feeling
that’s why you do it now some people
wake up in the morning and that’s not
why they put on makeup
some women wake up in the morning and
they say how come men don’t have to do
this but they still do it why because
their brain says well if I don’t put it
on somebody’s gonna say what happened to
your face and some people of course do
it for a combination of the two the
point is the only reason they put it on
is to avoid pain and to gain pleasure
some combination of those things hey
have you ever procrastinated is it what
a dumb question of course what is
procrastination it’s the opposite of
using your personal power it’s being
immobilized it’s needing to do something
and not following through I call it the
silent killer because it grows on you
it just kind of creeps along until
pretty soon that’s taking control of
your life pretty soon you find yourself
immobilized in a bunch of areas and you
don’t even realize it you don’t even
notice all the freedom you’ve given up
just because of procrastination so what
is it though why do we procrastinate why
do we not use our power which is what we
talked about in the first tape let’s
figure out what style
the reason is when we procrastinate it’s
because we think that taking action
whatever action we’re putting off that
taking that action would be more painful
than doing nothing or not taking action
that’s the bottom line
in other words by not taking action now
where else do they affect you well let’s
take a look do you overeat some people
say well I’m gonna go on a diet yep I’m
just gonna go up there and I’m gonna
starve myself and then I’m gonna be real
skinny how often does that work
I’d say slim and none in fact studies
show that ninety-five percent of the
people who go on a diet within 2 years
had not only gained the weight back but
have also usually gained an additional
two pounds beyond the weight they were
on when they went on the diet in the
first place see trying to create more
pain in your life rarely works because I
got to tell you something they need to
avoid pain is biological it’s built into
your nervous system why because it’s a
survival mechanism and your brain is
gonna fight like crazy any time it sees
that you’re asking to do something
that’s gonna lead to pain so what do we
need to do to change our eating patterns
what do we need to do so we get
permanent weight loss and we have a
physical health we want well the first
thing I would do if I were you is I find
some of the foods that you’re obviously
addicted to and in other words foods
that you eat on a regular basis and you
eat them
excess why do you mean excess you go
well because when I was growing up these
and these things happen to me no that’s
not true there’s only one reason you eat
more food than you should because it’s
pleasurable because you like to eat that
chocolate cuz you think good divert
chocolate you just go into a state where
you’ve got to have it see your associate
deep deep pleasure and that’s why you go
for it now you say yeah but being fat is
really painful that’s true but the
reason you ate the chocolate cuz in that
moment what was more real to you the
pain of being fat or the pleasure of the
chocolate I would assume that it was the
pleasure of the chocolate if you’re
overeating so what we’ve got to do to
make a change in our life is not go out
and discipline ourselves but to change
what we link pleasure and what we link
pain to so what if you saw somebody that
you really attracted to and you wanted
to be with them you want to develop a
relationship but you didn’t follow
through how come
real simple isn’t it because you
associated more pain to walking up and
asking him for a date than not doing it
you thought well gosh but if I could do
it I can have the pleasure but which one
was a more powerful motivating force the
pleasure of being in relationship or the
potential pain of being rejected if he
didn’t follow through I’m sorry to sound
so simplistic but let’s talk about what
really drives human behavior and I think
there are certain basic fundamentals
that drive our behavior when we
understand them we can start to utilize
them to change our life and if we don’t
understand them
then what we do is we keep running up
against the brick wall have you
experienced that we are trying to make a
change trying to make a change trying to
make a change but it never happens why
because your internal associations about
pain and pleasure haven’t changed in
other words you keep thinking if I do
this is going to be in a ton of pain and
so you stopped short a classic example
is in relationships you know a lot of
people in life get this bug they say I
want to be in a relationship why because
they think being in a relationship would
mean lots of what pleasure love
happiness security being close all those
special feelings spirituality
right that feeling of oneness then they
get in a relationship and they say I
don’t want to be in a relationship right
all of a sudden they begin to think
relationship means pain or worse they
think a relationship is the most
incredible thing in the world they love
this person they give a thousand percent
of themselves they think about them
constantly and then as time goes by
something happens and this person let’s
say leaves them or breaks up with them
or smashes the heart the challenge is
this most people have not learned how to
deal with it most of us don’t
consciously look at what we link pain
and what we link pleasure to and so our
lives are in reaction instead of in
control so for example let’s say you had
a great relationship somebody you really
loved give a hundred percent as we
started to talk about and then all of a
sudden one day something bad happens
they cheated on you they left you they
lost interest they were less motivated
or attracted than you were what happens
for some peoples they have this thing
called pain at this moment and what they
link up in their mind is relationships
equal pain now there’s a problem because
also in their mind they have this other
association in their nervous system and
then Association is relationships equal
pleasure so what happens in the future
well
for a long time this person will
probably avoid relationships you know
they won’t get too attracted they won’t
express themselves real fully or they’ll
be a little bit more closed down does
this sound like somebody you know maybe
somebody you know personally and then
what happens is eventually you know
maybe some of the pain wears off and
they see somebody and they get attracted
or they develop a neat relationship and
it starts to grow but there’s a point in
the relationship when it’s going really
really well when all of a sudden that
person begins to sabotage the
relationship have you ever done that
usually it’s because inside your mind
something has happened and your brains
going oh my gosh I’m getting all this
pleasure ah but I know what’s happening
next relationships will equal pain
eventually so I better get out quick
before the pain gets here now I want you
to realize that this idea of pain and
pleasure doesn’t just shape your
emotional life or whether for example
you smoke cigarettes or overeat or
whatever the case may be but it affects
every aspect of your life every aspect
big things and little things you know
sometimes business people say anyboy
this pain pleasure thing this really
affects my business doesn’t I said
affect your business it’s everything I
mean it all comes down to people don’t
even buy the best product anymore they
buy the product they associate the most
pleasure to in the least pain you know
all marketing is when you watch the
commercials then trying to get you to
link pleasure to their product and pain
to the competition management is
understanding pain and pleasure what
drives somebody because if you want to
motivate a human being you got to find
out what already motivates them if you
want to influence them you gotta find
out what already influences them what
are they already linked pain or pleasure
to I mean I give an example I worked
with a gentleman he was one of the first
people that I took on as a private
client now I have a group of people that
pay me between one and four million
dollars a year to personally coach them
they don’t say that to impress you but I
don’t impress upon you these people will
not pay that kind of money unless they
get real results and this man was the
first clan I took on was a man who made
a half a billion dollars in one day one
of the top financial traders in the
world that’s pretty amazing but then he
went through this challenge and the
challenge was he couldn’t get himself to
make any money for almost nine straight
months he was losing money and so he
tried everything to turn things around
and pretty soon as you might guess he
linked major pain to trading because
every time he traded he Lou
his old identity was he was the best in
the world so he hired me to come in
because he was at the point where he
literally couldn’t get himself to go
into the office because going to the
office equal pain I mean can you imagine
someone that good being that shut down
and what I would call learned
helplessness and the man was really a
genius but his conditioning was taking
over so I came in and helped him to
change this pain pleasure I also helped
him to evaluate and study him to find
out what was he doing at his very best
when he was the best in the world what
was he doing with his body which we’re
gonna teach you about something called
state and physiology in this program the
very things I did with him what was he
doing differently in the way he made
decisions how was he evaluating things a
lot of what this program teaches I did
with him personally and I began to turn
him around and most importantly getting
a link massive pleasure to trading along
with making sure he was using the right
principles you can get all pumped up and
excited and linked pleasure and do the
wrong thing so by a combination those
aspects within less than 12 months of
coaching him and I did the seen him once
a month and then talking to him about
once a week on the phone and daily
through faxes he made more than a
hundred million dollars turn things
completely around and develop momentum
again so I just want you to get this is
really important for you if you’re in
business as well as important for you
and your personal life and also it
doesn’t matter how tough things are you
know I dealt with a woman couple years
ago who had a hundred and fifty two
personalities and she started splitting
in the middle of my seminar and in 45
minutes I was able to help her to
integrate herself and the way I did that
was by understanding the relationship of
these six human needs as well as the
principle of pain and pleasure so I want
you know when you master this area of
your life you can change virtually
anything and you’ve got a master around
the area of learning things are changing
so rapidly the one skill you gotta have
is the ability to learn rapidly and you
know what we’re in school we linked
massive pain learning most of us and so
kids boy you can turn them around so
easily when you entertain them a little
bit you’re not trying to make this
little tape program somewhat
entertaining I just got my voice to try
and do it and tease you and push you but
hopefully you can feel the difference
and you will over the next few days as
we go through each day day after day
building momentum but you know what the
secret is to realize there’s so much
information the only stuff we pay
attention to is the stuff that moves us
emotionally something that inspires us
or makes us laugh or makes us
makes us feel that’s the stuff we
remember and that’s the stuff we use so
pain and pleasure is shaping every air
your life what we want to do in this
tape is really start to take control of
it so we’re not in reaction to our old
conditioning but we’re in charge of it
and the first step to that is awareness
of this principle the awareness that
this is shaping us and how it works so
the controlling force of our life then
the thing that directs our life is what
we link pain and what we link pleasure
to think about it advertisers know all
about this don’t they advertisers know
that if we’re gonna get people to take
action to use their power to buy things
we got to get them to associate
pleasurable feelings to our product or
show them how they can eliminate some
pain they already have by buying our
product think about it isn’t that what
they really did in those old AT&T
commercials AT&T tried to give you the
pleasure and the pain what’d they do
they didn’t come on with a commercial
and say listen I know you miss your
mother call her no no no first they took
out a big knife and they stabbed you in
the chest with it right they came out
there and they showed this poor old lady
saying gosh my son hasn’t called me in
forever I miss him he probably doesn’t
even love me anymore oh my gosh I’m
being left alone so all the grandmas in
the world start to feel pain because
they realize their son hasn’t called
them in at least 15 minutes come on the
other side right here is the sun’s out
there in the world and/or daughters who
are watching this going guilt guilt
oh gosh yeah I’ve been busy I need a
call and everything else and pretty soon
what happens is in the same 30 seconds
after making you feel almost pain for
not calling they then show you that by
calling you’ll get what pleasure how
does it work in the same 30 or 60 second
commercial what happens is the Sun picks
up the phone and calls mom and she
smiles oh my gosh she does love me and
she smiles and the music comes on behind
it he’s smiling and there’s an
incredible bond and connection you just
feel your heart opening and at the end
of it they say don’t let your family
drift away
and what’s happened in 60 seconds
they’ve gotten you to link to their
product a way to avoid pain plus they
stirred up some of your pain made you
hurt a little more so you’re more
motivated and simultaneously showing you
how you can heal it and get pleasure
just by picking up this little device
that’s nearby that they’ll make money if
you take action on now I’m not against
it because I think it’s a great tool but
I want you to realize it’s a pain
pleasure commercial and then there was
Citibank Visa right it’s interesting to
see what Citibank used to motivate
people versus say American Express and
what they used they both had two classic
commercials in the City Bank commercial
there’s a dark background and a man
comes on and he’s got a lot of pain and
he says yeah I got the phone call it’s
four o’clock in the morning my father
was having a heart attack I had no money
and all sudden it comes on and the
Citibank lady comes on with a smile and
says you know we heard about his problem
and she said we wanted to help he called
us he told us what he needed the money
for we gave him the credit goes back to
the man yep because a Citibank I was
there I was there at my father’s
hospital bed
thanks to Citibank people who care now
what’s the implication here well if you
want to solve the pain your life just
get a city big visa and they’ll handle
it you need more money hey just go
they’ll handle what they understand well
that’s an interesting way of looking at
things so how can we use this
understanding of the controlling force
how can we use the understanding that
pain is a greater motivator than even
pleasure well the way to use it is to
begin to understand that in any moment
in time our reality is based on whatever
we focus on that is at any moment of
time whatever you focus on is what’s
most real to you for example if you’re
looking that piece of chocolate and you
think about eating the chocolate and you
just let your mind flow based on its old
associations it might say gumbo it’s
time to eat you might immediately get
that pleasure feeling and as long as you
focus on the pleasure you’re gonna get
and that is your primary focus and
that’s what’s most real to you then
you’re gonna be drawn towards the
chocolate but haven’t you also had times
where you didn’t eat the chocolate or
you didn’t eat something that normally
you’re kind of addicted to having there
been times when you stopped yourself how
have you done that the answer is you
chain
your focus and you focused on the pain
you probably would experience or the
pleasure you would get by not eating the
chocolate so what you did is instead of
just thinking intellectually well yeah
not eating the chocolate will make me
thinner you literally focused on hey I’m
gonna be going to this particular ball
and I want to look like a million bucks
I want to feel strong if I eat that
target I’m gonna feel lousy I’m gonna
feel bloated I’m gonna feel heavy so you
began to focus on all the pain plus all
the pleasure you get by not eating it
and your behavior changed isn’t that
true if you’ve ever stuck to a diet for
example isn’t it true that the way you
stuck to it is one day you finally got
to the point we had had it he said look
I looked in the mirror one day or
somebody said something to you or you
noticed that you were just feeling
sloppy and tired and you went through
what I call threshold threshold is when
you experience so much pain you said
I’ve had it that’s it
no more and then you begin to find a way
to change it well I believe that you can
do this with anything at any moment in
time and I know you can all you got to
do is control your mental focus so if
you want to change your behavior you
must focus on how not doing something is
gonna be more painful than just going
for
in other words link not taking action as
being more painful than just doing it
just the way we talked about with
procrastination do it to yourself
upfront don’t wait til life put you in a
pressure situation where you feel like
you have to do something does that make
sense so how can we use this in other
areas of our life do the same thing you
want to connect with somebody you want
to make sure you communicate with them
then think about if I don’t do this I
know I feel busy I know I feel
overloaded but if I don’t call them here
on their birthday or on Easter how’s it
gonna make them feel how am I gonna feel
you know that would be painful if I just
made the call and I connect with them
and they feel appreciated how’s that
gonna make me feel pleasurable use pain
and pleasure instead of having pain and
pleasure use you that’s the secret to
success you do that and you’re in
control of your life you don’t do that
and life controls you and unfortunately
for most people
life controls them so let’s change it
and in the next tape we’re going to talk
about specifically how would it change
what we associate pain and pleasure to
but
number one is just getting clear that
this is the controlling force of your
life if there’s anything you want to do
and you can’t figure out why you’re not
doing it there’s a simple answer you
link more pain to doing it they’re not
doing it hey if you don’t have enough
money for example I know that’s an issue
for a lot of people it was for a good
deal of my life if you don’t have money
there’s only one reason you link more
pain to having more money than they’re
not having it now you say okay Tony
you’ve been okay up until now now you’ve
gone over threshold I don’t buy that
theory hey I wouldn’t have bought it
either but it’s true I got to tell you
something you’re an intelligent person
you have the ability to produce results
you had enough personal power to make a
phone call put your money on the line
and now you’re falling through and
listening to it you’re in that top
one-tenth of one percent literally I
mean you aren’t just somebody who just
hanging out you’re willing to do
something about it even with all of that
your ability to follow through if you
don’t have the money that you want in
your life
imagine motivating your life as being a
scale if you would and on one side is
pain and the other is pleasure and your
brain is always weighing if I take this
action what’s it going to mean more
pleasure and less pain or more pain and
less pleasure if you’re not following
through it’s because you got that scale
weighted in the opposite direction as it
needs to be and if you’re gonna change
your behavior and use your personal
power then you’ve got to change what you
associate pain and pleasure to if you’re
sabotaging your success in any area of
your life it’s exactly the same reason
you’re having what I call approach
avoidance that is you have a mixed set
of associations about pain and pleasure
as I gave you the earlier example in a
relationship I want to be in a
relationship that will mean pleasure but
then you get into it you start to notice
some things in your brain so it might in
it might mean pain and so you start to
make relationships work and you sabotage
them you they do the same thing
financially that want money because
money will mean for me maybe more
freedom or I could give to my friends or
I could buy my kids something or I could
travel the world or I could learn
something new or I could hire this best
coach in the world to do something for
me and yet at the same time your brains
going yeah but then I’ll get judged or
you’ll have to give up all the stuff
I’ll have no time with my family and all
this pain and so you don’t follow
through and you begin to sabotage
financially if you’re going to change
that
once and for all forever you’ve got to
write now decide that you control the
focus of your mind and then if you’re
not following through all you have to do
is focus on what’s the pain I’m gonna
have if I don’t do this
most of us focus on what will be the
pain if I take action and we keep
ourselves from using our personal power
your focus has to be what will be the
pain if I don’t do it what will be the
ultimate price if I don’t follow through
what will it cost me emotionally
spiritually physically financially in my
life what will happen the juice and
passion in my life if I don’t follow
through if you start asking those
questions you’ll be able to motivate
yourself and when we get into the
goal-setting workshop in this program
you’re gonna find that I’m going to show
you not only on set goals and find out
what so let me give you an assignment
and then tomorrow we’re gonna show you
how to make changes rapidly but let’s
make some changes right now okay take
out your journal I want you to write
down four actions that you need to take
in your life that you’ve been putting
off now I know you made some decisions a
day or so ago but I want you to look at
for more things what are four actions
that you need to take maybe you need to
lose some weight maybe you need to stop
smoking maybe what you do is you need to
make a phone call you haven’t followed
through on maybe its initiating a new
job interview for you maybe what it is
is communicating to somebody that you
really really are attracted or maybe
it’s you’re in a relationship with
somebody and you haven’t communicated
how much you really love them in a long
time real directly you kind of taken it
for granted I don’t know what it is but
I want you right now to write down what
are for actions that you could take
immediately that you’ve been putting off
you know you should take but you haven’t
done it again make these four different
than the ones you already did yesterday
don’t go oh I did two of them yes that
means I have to do two more day no
remember I said each day we’re gonna do
a little more we’re gonna crease the
weights we’re gonna develop more muscle
more will more power that’s what we’re
doing right now so you’re gonna write
down four new actions right four simple
actions that you’re gonna take and then
what I want you to do is I want you to
be honest with yourself I want you to
write down into each action that you’ve
not taken that you know you should I
want you to write down what is the pain
that you associate that’s kept you from
taking action in the past let’s just get
clear because I guarantee you that if
you’ve not taken action is because you
associated more pain to take an action
than not okay you’ve heard that about 19
times what you’re gonna hear it again
and again
you start to use it and I once heard a
story about this great Minister and
people came to his church and I listened
to him you know give this great sermon
and it was a phenomenal sermon and then
they came back the next week and he got
up and gave the same sermon and the
third week it was the same sermon and
after about five sermons in a row of the
exact same sermon a couple of the elders
in the church decided to pull the
minister aside and see if he was okay
and they said sir I don’t know quite how
to communicate this to you but are you
aware that some of what you’ve been
saying has been pretty much identical as
to what you said the last week and the
week before in the week before and
administer just smiled very calm he said
oh I’m glad you noticed I said well why
are you doing that he said I’m gonna
keep doing this sermon until you guys
start applying it if I sound like I’m
giving a sermon that sounds like the
same one it is we’re gonna make sure you
apply it and make sure you embed it so
one write down the four actions to make
sure you write down what is the pain
that you’ve associated it’s doing this
in the past and just be honest with
yourself and if you say Tony I have no
pain associated to it well then think a
little stronger maybe the pain is simple
maybe it’s like well the pain of taking
the time it’d be more painful to take
the time to do it than other things
you’re really more caught up in that you
think will give you more pleasure but
write it down third step I want you to
write down all the pleasure you’ve
gotten by not falling through because
sometimes why not falling through it’s
giving you pleasure too you go well I
don’t understand them well let’s say for
example you think you should lose some
weight and that specifically in order to
get that done one of the actions you
should take is to stop eating mass
quantities of chocolate or sugar or cake
or whatever it is okay now why haven’t
you done that well answer number one
because you associate pain to dieting in
fact what are the first three letters in
the word diet that ought to give you a
clue when most people want to avoid it
they feel like they’re dying the bottom
line is that’s kind of painful
so what have you done you’ve associated
taking something away loss equals pain
for most of us if we feel like we’re
losing something or giving something up
we feel like we’re losing weight it’s
gonna be painful so you go well gosh I
would be taking something away I would
be
anyway things I used to have pleasure
eating so that’s pain what are all the
pains you would associate step 3 what’s
the pleasure you get by still eating
while you get the pleasure of eating
chocolate you get that momentary feeling
inside so that’s step number three step
number four I want you to write down the
opposite what do I mean by that what I
mean is I want you to write down what it
will cost you if you don’t change that
is if you don’t stop eating chocolate in
mass quantities if you don’t stop
smoking if you don’t make that phone
call that you know you need to make if
you don’t start consistently working out
each day if you don’t go out and really
make an effort even though it may be
difficult to get through to that person
who in the past is make you mad if you
don’t do that what’s it gonna cost you
and be honest with yourself what will it
cost you over the next two three four or
five years what’s it gonna cost you
emotionally what’s gonna cost you in
your self-image what will cost you in
your physical energy level what will it
cost you and your feelings of
self-esteem what will it cost you
financially what will it cost you in
your direct relationships with the
people you care about most and I really
want you to hone it down and how does
that make you feel in other words don’t
just go well it’ll cost me money well I
will be fat that’s not enough you gotta
remember what drives us are our emotions
not our just our intellect so get
emotional about what will it cost you
and how would that make you feel to not get those results
Please follow and like us: