to me showbiz is not separated from the
rules of the universe right so whether
you’re in show business or you know
you’re selling cars or you’re farming
you know you’re not you’re not separate
from the laws of the universe
and all of the rules are the same
everywhere so for you know for from my
children the most important thing is
that they be encouraged to fully and
thoroughly be themselves no matter what
and when you when you have yourself and
you’re thorough and confident in who you
are you can survive anywhere I believe
there is greatness in you and I know you
feel it don’t you you feel that there is
more you feel that there is there’s
something to do and there is and so I am
here to teach you how to push that
greatness to the surface how to use one
simple tool one simple tool to find the
clarity to listen to your inner wisdom
and the courage to take action and the
confidence to keep going to keep going
despite what goes on because what I’m
about to show you I’m going to prove it
to you
is that you can change anything in five
seconds and that fact will change
everything about your life everything
now this what I’m about to talk about it
this was my secret weapon for a long
time and I never intended on sharing it
with anybody because it sounds kind of
stupid when you talk about it yeah you
can change your legs for five seconds
you know just count the fuzz yeah right
now uh-huh you’re trying to sell a book
I know seriously I don’t want you to
dismiss the power in the ideas that I’m
about to share with you because they’re
so simple
and what’s funny is I never intended on
talking about this I never intended on
talking about it because I discovered it
by mistake seriously about eight years
ago my life looked totally different
than it does today I was unemployed my
husband had a small business that was
that was failing and failing miserably
and it took our home equity line and the
kids college savings and our 401k plans
right down the drain with it and we had
the liens hitting the house and we of
course were fighting like crazy because
you know when life blows what do you do
you point the finger you say oh it’s
your fault though it’s my boss’s fault
it’s the economy’s fault
oh this isn’t fair you know what’s
interesting about the way that human
beings are designed have you ever
noticed that when you blame somebody
else and you point the finger there’s
three fingers pointing right back at you
it’s a big reminder that the power is in
you but waking up every morning
unemployed I certainly didn’t feel
powerful you know what I needed I needed
confidence that was tapped out I needed
courage move nope didn’t have any of
that when the alarm rang this is what I
felt like doing with the clock have you
ever had one of those mornings right
where you’re like not today no not today
I do not want to get out of bed today I
would lie in bed the alarm would go off
and I would start thinking about the day
ahead and I would start feeling
overwhelmed and I would feel this sense
of dread and I would feel like such a
failure you know I remember this period
of our life and I remember having those
moments where I’d be at the grocery
store and the items would be scanning
and I would feel the fear rising up
because I didn’t know if the check card
was going to go through because I didn’t
have the courage to look at the bank
account and so as I would lie in bed in
the morning and I would know by the way
my inner wisdom was there and your inner
wisdom is always there it’s always there
kind of nudging you pushing you begging
you to go forward my heroism was like
Mel you need to get up and I’d be like
yeah I don’t feel like it I developed
this habit of hitting the snooze button
over and over and over again every
morning I became one of those those
parents where the kids were always late
and
and you know here’s the thing about life
we don’t we don’t do this we don’t ever
kind of go to wake up in the morning go
go you know what I’m gonna do today
today today I’m gonna screw up my life
today I’m gonna hit the snooze button
four times I’m gonna blow off exercise
I’m gonna eat that whole tray of
doughnuts then I’m gonna go to work and
snap at people I’m gonna blow off
working at my business I’m gonna come
home and be mean to my spouse and
patient with my kids then I’m gonna
drink a ton it’s gonna be amazing right
you know we don’t do that what happens
is when you’re not paying attention when
you’re not really focused on what you
want when you’re not clear you make
these small decisions all day long that
slowly take you off course decisions
based and self-doubt decisions based in
fear decisions based in panic decisions
based in resignation and suddenly you
wake up one morning like I didn’t you’re
like wait a minute wait how did I get
over there and more importantly how do I
get over here SS question the other day
young construction business and a kid we
were in a big meeting with a with a
bunch of leadership foremen two
engineers all in the same room a bunch
of great guys from a great company and
each one of the young engineers raised
his hand and said you know I’m young and
I am gonna be in charge of these guys
you know I’m not sure I’m comfortable
with these guys have been doing it for a
lot longer what can I do to you know
gain their respect and I said okay who
in this room knows more than that
engineer back there about construction
and all these salty construction
Foreman’s raised their hands and I said
who you know who’s gonna think that this
guy’s got the best idea raise your hands
all the hands go down and I said so this
is what you’re dealing with
buddy I said now let me ask another
question the group group if this kid
comes in and says I know how to do this
better than you listen to me and do it
my way who’s gonna have respect for him
raise your hand no hands go up if this
young kid comes in and says hey I’m an
engineer I’ve been educated but I
haven’t been doing this for long can you
give me some recommendations on how we
do
so we can do the best job possible who’s
gonna have respect for him everyone
raises their hand so there you have it
you you you don’t have to know
everything as a leader no one expects
you know everything especially as a
young leader that’s okay and actually
when you admit that you actually gain
respect when you ask for people as input
you actually gain respect people get the
paranoid feeling that if they don’t know
something they’re gonna be seen as weak
it’s not true
so you can just step up into the
position still be humble still take
advice now this doesn’t mean that you’re
a pushover right this doesn’t mean that
you just listen to what everyone says
you don’t make any decisions no but it
actually means that you show respect to
their experience and when it comes time
to make a decision you get the best
input and then you make a decision and
you explain your decision and if your
decision is wrong you admit it if it’s
not wrong you push forward assume that
the person that you’re listening to
knows something you don’t
well they do the person you’re listening
to knows some things you don’t you can
be sure of that now whether or not you
can get to them is a different matter
but if you do get to them it’s a real
deal for you
that’s why you want to listen to the
other person’s arguments is because
you’re not everything you could be you
don’t know the pathway forward with as
much clarity as you could and it’s
possible this is one of the wonderful
things that I’ve had the privilege of
experiencing as a clinician know because
people it’s like I live inside a
Dostoyevsky novel as a clinician people
come in and they tell me about their
lives and I listen to them and they tell
me things that are just absolutely
beyond belief you know and I learn from
my clients constantly they’re they’re
telling me honestly about their
experience they tell me things they
wouldn’t tell anyone else because I
actually listen to them but part of the
reason I listen is because I’m desperate
to listen it’s like there’s a
possibility I’m gonna do something
stupid in the next five years that’s
gonna be like fatal and there’s some
small possibility that if we have a
decent discussion that you’ll tell me
something that will eliminate some of my
blindness so that I don’t have to fall
into that particular pit and if you have
a good sensitivity for the depth of the
pit then you know you’re pretty bloody
motivated to avoid it and so and that
and and that and that dialog is it’s
it’s dialogic it’s die
logos right it’s shared logos it’s the
way that we redeem ourselves mutually
moving forward I realized that when you
have the level of success that I want to
have it’s difficult to spread it out and
do multiple things you know it’s in
order to to be world-class and I’ve made
a decision I want to be world-class and
yet just it takes such a desperate
obsessive focus to to excel on assert
honor on the level that I want to make
movies you know I was a Star Wars when I
was young i sat in the movie theater and
watched Star Wars and I just couldn’t
believe that that movie made me feel
like that just floored and just stunned
by the creativity and just I’m realizing
that in order to move people in that way
in order to touch people in that way you
really got to focus with all of your
fiber and all your heart and all your
creativity you know we all know we need
to change but change is hard it’s hard
when you don’t feel confident it’s hard
when you don’t feel certain and that’s
exactly how I felt and I struggled and I
struggled and then one night it’s a
really stupid story I saw this rocket
launching and you know we’re gonna talk
about this word courage now when you
hear the word courage you think about
the big stuff don’t you you think about
a life-or-death moment you think about
your heroes I want you to consider that
courage is what you need every day that
there are conversations you have to have
that require courage for me I need a
courage to get out of bed because our
problems they just felt so big so I
struggled and struggled because I knew
what to do but I couldn’t make myself do
it if you ever felt that way like so
frustrated with yourself you knew you
need to exercise but you don’t do it you
know you need to drink less but you
don’t do it you know you need to stop
procrastinating but you don’t do it you
know you need to have the tough
conversations but you don’t do it you’re
stuck that’s how I was and then one
night I see this rocket launch and I say
oh oh my gosh that that’s it that’s it
I’m gonna launch myself out of bed like
a rocket ship tomorrow morning it is
gonna be amazing I’m gonna move so fast
that my mind cannot talk me out of this
now it could have been the four
manhattan’s talking you know that gave
me that idea because I had a drinking
problem that’s one of the things you do
you get emotional you reach for the
booze well for whatever reason the very
next morning I woke up I still had all
the same problems liens on the house
talking divorce with my husband of now
20 years just felt like such a loser I
did not feel like getting up I will
never forget this morning it was a cold
dark winter morning in February outside
of Boston Massachusetts and I just did
not feel like doing anything different
but I did one thing one thing that
changed everything
I started counting backwards five four
three two one and then all of a sudden I
what the hell just happened and the next
morning five four three two one I did it
again and it’s worked five four three
two one I did it again and it worked I
couldn’t believe it and now that I’m
almost 50 I still use it at 2:30 in the
morning when I wake up and I have to go
the bathroom you know like instead of
like you know trying to go back to bed
five four three two one and eat it
here’s what I noticed I noticed
something that when I say this to you
you’re gonna be like oh my god she’s
right there is a five-second window
between the moment that your inner
wisdom tells you you need to speak up
you need to get to the gym you need to
say something you need to get to work
and your mind killing it and if you
start counting backwards 5 4 3 2 1 you
can close the gap between the greatness
and you that’s dying to come to the
surface and the excuses that keep
snuffing it down now I never intended to
tell anybody about this because I
started use this to get up on time it
started use it to self-monitor so I
didn’t snap the Kris so I stopped
drinking so much I started to use it to
go on job interviews and it literally
changed everything because I started to
change I stopped being the kind of
person that would think about everything
and I five-four-three-two-one became the
kind of person that started acting and
every time I took action I started to
build confidence except at triage that
the things that I do at each company and
constantly think about what is the most
useful thing that I could that I could
do but even with that it’s that it still
actually just take it I don’t almost
amount of time and for a while I was
just doing constant hundred hour weeks
and that’s that’s definitely wearing and
and you know now I’m kind of in the 80
to 90 which is well manageable but you
know that if you divide that by two it’s
only like you know maybe 45 hours but
for a company which is not not much if
there’s a lot of things going on like a
now I gave this talk a couple years ago
about how it changed my career so many
times and again I wasn’t gonna talk
about the five-second rule because it
sounds stupid and in full disclosure I
didn’t know why it worked and plus I
didn’t want you to have it this was
working for me so why would I want you
to have it right so at the end of the
stock
this was the speech first speech I had
ever given so if you ever want to see
somebody have a 21 minute long panic
attack this is what it looks like I get
off stage and I’m like I’m never doing
that again and somebody puts the talk
online and something crazy started to
happen people from around the world
started to write and they were all
writing about this stupid simple very
powerful five second rule they were
using it to find the courage to reach
out to people they were using it to
become number one in sales they were
sharing it with their teams we know of
13 people that have stopped themselves
from committing suicide using this rule
this gentleman was a veteran and he
boarded the ferry with the intention of
jumping over he gets to the railing and
his inner wisdom kicks in I don’t care
how low you get I don’t care how high
you get your inner wisdom is always
there and when you hear it it is magic
when you listen to it it changes
everything as inner wisdom said this is
not the answer he went 5 4 3 2 1 and he
turned and he walked away we hear from
people all over the world people that
are using it to be more productive to
quit smoking after 23 years license
plates tattoos for crying out loud look
when people start tattooing this thing
on their body like I started to feel a
moral obligation to figure out why it
worked
so I’m gonna tell you some of the
science behind this I’m gonna explain
how you can use it and then I’m going to
show you how five second decisions
change everything so we all hear this
just do it right most famous tagline in
the world what’s the difference between
just do it and the five-second rule this
is a concept concepts make you go
upstairs I don’t want you upstairs
this is behind enemy lines you’re not
going to grow your business grow
yourself by thinking you got to take
action
right before you’re about to do anything
even if you’re an Olympic athlete what
do you do you stop and you think and
that’s the kiss of death now stop and
think if you’re gonna get tattoo or sign
a contract but on the little stuff do
not stop and think because what happens
when your feelings of failure kick in
and they will you start to think and
that leads you to doubting yourself
doesn’t it and the same thing happens
when you feel nervous same thing happens
when you feel unsure the same thing
happens when you feel like you’re a fake
the same thing happens when you feel
overwhelmed look at all these feelings
they’re triggering you to think that’s
the last thing you should do this is
what we call a habit loop any pattern
that you repeat becomes a habit
something you do without even thinking
so how do you break it you train
yourself to take action you train
yourself at the moment you feel nervous
you move why because when you take
action you actually build confidence
when you feel unsure and you move
forward anyway 5 4 3 2 1 you are
building the skill of confidence you are
bringing that greatness to the surface
now look south that’s normal feeling
overwhelmed is normal the people we
admire the most felt the same way you
ever heard the story of Michelangelo so
in the late and early 1500s he had never
painted a thing the Pope goes over to
see him and in his studio as he’s
carving a statue and the pope julius ii
turns to michael Angelyn says hey
Michelangelo I got some frescoes I want
you to paint in Vatican City
you know what Michelangelo felt totally
unsure do you know what he did he left
town
he hid from the Pope for two years
that’s how unsure he was you know what
the Pope that he stopped him for two
years
pushed him until he actually painted
those frescoes how about a more recent
one how many of you heard of Hamilton
yeah
Hamilton hit musical guess what three
and a half years ago it wasn’t even
finished
lin-manuel the guy that wrote it was
busy messaging with his wife Vanessa
what was he saying he was saying
something you and I can relate to when
it doesn’t happen as fast as I’d like it
to I have a hard time finding the
balance between not beating myself up
and not wasting time can’t you relate to
that she’s like you’re not unique dude
we all struggle with this we all all all
need the encouragement and the push you
know in this MIT this photo makes me sad
because when I think about this kid
right and standing there the longer he
looks the more he thinks about it the
less likely he’s going imagine the
difference that a push makes imagine a
coach behind him right right a coach a
coach going come on Sammy you got this
buddy you got this or an older brother
the problem is in life usually there’s
failure is part of life I mean the
difference for me though is I’m like a
failure as a stepping stone to success
it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna fail
but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes I’ve screwed so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability to influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that mess me up but
I show people that didn’t want to stop
me and you only to stop you and I think
I think that’s really a secret matter
and if everything you touch was
successful first got to relate to people
as much and also its be total
and everyone know it’s gold and also
you’d be bored silly I mean think about
it if you just said I want this to
happen I want this
happen you know people don’t value it
they don’t fight for you no it’s like
you see kids sometimes in it you know
your parents will say you’re not gonna
value this if you don’t work for it
and you’re keeping going oh well you’ll
just give it to me but it’s true you
know about things we’ve worked the
hardest for we value the most so I think
you know the purpose of the goal is not
getting it anyway the purpose of goal
you know is what who you become well you
become is gonna make you happier it’s
gonna make you sad so I’m not looking
for an effortless approach there’s no
such thing usually there’s nobody there
to push you it’s up to you that’s why
the five-second rule is your new best
friend this is what you’re gonna use to
push yourself the moment you have an
instinct to act on a goal you know you
should do some but you don’t feel like
getting out of bed I don’t care 5 4 3 2
1 you don’t feel like being nice to your
spouse I don’t care 5 4 3 2 1
use this for behaviors that you need to
do and for those things that are
emotional that are killing you drinking
too much eating a bunch of garbage
smoking gambling addiction when you feel
the emotion drawing you towards it 5 4 3
2 1 physically move away from it what is
this actually doing in your mind when
you count backwards it’s pretty
remarkable how such a simple thing does
something extraordinary when you start
counting backwards it is an action when
you start counting backwards that
requires focus when you start counting
backwards you are manually switching the
part of the brain that you’re using
you’re activating your prefrontal cortex
you’re interrupting the habit loops of
self-doubt of procrastination of fear of
anxiety and you are taking control one
five-second decision at a time it truly
is that simple I didn’t say it was easy
but it is this simple and it’s not gonna
be easy because you’re gonna fight
yourself now there are three ways that
you can use this we’ve heard of
literally hundreds of thousands of waves
we’ve heard of from hundreds of
thousands of people in 90 different
countries that are using this rule and
they fall into kind of three buckets you
can use this rule to change any behavior
five four three two one push yourself to
do something that you know you need to
do five four three two one pull yourself
away from something that you know you
should not be doing you can use it for
courage five four three two one step
into that risk five four three two one
push yourself outside your comfort zone
and the most important way you can use
it is you can use it for mind control
this one matters the most to me so let
me explain to you how to use it so a lot
of people see me on stage or on CNN and
they’re like who that chick was just
born very confident and very annoying
and I don’t you laugh because it’s true
not true I suffered from panic attacks
for over twenty years they started when
I was 19 years old they got so bad that
I was on Zoloft it was a miracle drug
for me and as I started to use the
five-second rule to literally I mean
change everything to go from facing
bankruptcy to running multi-million
dollar companies joining the teams at
CNN being a contributor to dr. oz and
success changing my marriage and how I
behaved changing my health habits
changing everything because what the
rule does is it gives you control over
your decisions it gives you control over
those five-second moments that change
everything for you because in those
five-second moments it’s where all the
opportunity and the joy in your life is
so I have wondered about five years ago
I wonder if you could use this simple
stupid
brilliant rule to cure yourself of
anxiety the answer is yes you can so
I’ve been off meds for five years I
haven’t had a panic attack since hell I
don’t even worry about anything yes
because I have used this rule to
completely rewire how I think you’re
gonna hear a lot about mindset today you
want to adopt a growth mindset you want
to change your habits this is a starting
ritual that you can use for any of them
let me explain how you do it in the
mental game so you ever notice how your
thoughts drift right you’re sitting in a
meeting and suddenly your thoughts are
like blah blah blah blah blah garbage
garbage garbage you suck suck suck suck
right you know whatever it is
the second that you get your thoughts
drifting you’re gonna go 5 4 3 2 1 and
yank them back here now the counting
backwards is essential it doesn’t work
to just try to change your thoughts
inserting the five-four-three-two-one
interrupts the pattern of bad talk to
yourself and self doubt and anxiety it
awakens your prefrontal cortex so your
brain is ready ready to receive a new
thought you know I’m going to use an
example that we can all relate to to
explain specifically how to do this
because I think this is so important I
used to be a nutcase about flying I
would get to the airport and I’d be in
the boarding area and I’d be looking for
Bishop TD jakes and I’d be looking for
babies and men and women in uniform
because I would say if they’re getting
on my plane
God is not letting this go down so then
I I get on the plane and I would buckle
up and then I’d start to feel the panic
rising and as soon as we take off and
the plane does that scary thing where
you get up and then all of a sudden
feels like it’s like turning off as it’s
leveling off then I would start to panic
and I would pull out my phone and I
would start texting my children you know
mommy loves you emoji emoji emoji
because if I’m gonna die in a plane
crash I want the kids to know that my
last act as a human being was to be the
best mom on the planet and then plus
they’ve got it for the eulogy when they
do the PowerPoint so they can prove it
to everybody and you giggle you giggle
because we’re sick human beings we’re
all sick right if we were to put a
speaker on your head and broadcast the
garbage you say to yourself you wouldn’t
be its success live you’d be in an
insane asylum for crying out loud but
here’s the problem we listen to it we
you let it rob you of your precious
lifetime you let it keep you from
stepping into your greatness you let it
stop you from saying what you really
believe you don’t have to second you
catch yourself thinking anything that
doesn’t serve you five four three two
one
take control five four three two one
insert a different thought every time I
talk about this when I fly I step on the
plane with an anchor thought I think
about where I’m gonna go and I flew here
you know what I thought about I thought
about you so every time the turbulence
happened I went five four three two one
I thought about you and my brain went oh
she’s not nervous about the plane she’s
so excited to see everybody its success
live this makes sense one of you many of
you are gonna text me right after this
and be like I can’t believe the smell I
use that stupid simple thing you just
talked about and this is the first time
I have ever been able to get on a plane
you can change how you think five
seconds at a time
do not ever underestimate your power to
change the things that matter most to
you so what advice do I have for college
graduates interested in getting involved
in the spheres you’ve tapped into well
certainly I don’t want you to apply for
a job at solar city or Tesla or SpaceX
and if not then if that doesn’t work for
whatever reason then I guess apply to
jobs at other companies in that arena or
try starting a company
although I have to say that it in the in
the the space business is quite it’s
quite hard to start a company in space
business because it’s such a capital
intensive business so it may be better
to do something in solar power or if
you’re gonna do it in cars do it and as
kind of a component supplier for cars
there’s no need even to have a college
degree at all we’re in high school there
but I mean if somebody graduated from a
great university that may be an
indication that they will be capable of
great things but it’s not necessarily
the case you know if you look at say
people like Bill Gates for Larry Ellison
Steve Jobs these guys didn’t graduate
from college but if you had a chance to
hire them of course that would be a good idea
rules of the universe right so whether
you’re in show business or you know
you’re selling cars or you’re farming
you know you’re not you’re not separate
from the laws of the universe
and all of the rules are the same
everywhere so for you know for from my
children the most important thing is
that they be encouraged to fully and
thoroughly be themselves no matter what
and when you when you have yourself and
you’re thorough and confident in who you
are you can survive anywhere I believe
there is greatness in you and I know you
feel it don’t you you feel that there is
more you feel that there is there’s
something to do and there is and so I am
here to teach you how to push that
greatness to the surface how to use one
simple tool one simple tool to find the
clarity to listen to your inner wisdom
and the courage to take action and the
confidence to keep going to keep going
despite what goes on because what I’m
about to show you I’m going to prove it
to you
is that you can change anything in five
seconds and that fact will change
everything about your life everything
now this what I’m about to talk about it
this was my secret weapon for a long
time and I never intended on sharing it
with anybody because it sounds kind of
stupid when you talk about it yeah you
can change your legs for five seconds
you know just count the fuzz yeah right
now uh-huh you’re trying to sell a book
I know seriously I don’t want you to
dismiss the power in the ideas that I’m
about to share with you because they’re
so simple
and what’s funny is I never intended on
talking about this I never intended on
talking about it because I discovered it
by mistake seriously about eight years
ago my life looked totally different
than it does today I was unemployed my
husband had a small business that was
that was failing and failing miserably
and it took our home equity line and the
kids college savings and our 401k plans
right down the drain with it and we had
the liens hitting the house and we of
course were fighting like crazy because
you know when life blows what do you do
you point the finger you say oh it’s
your fault though it’s my boss’s fault
it’s the economy’s fault
oh this isn’t fair you know what’s
interesting about the way that human
beings are designed have you ever
noticed that when you blame somebody
else and you point the finger there’s
three fingers pointing right back at you
it’s a big reminder that the power is in
you but waking up every morning
unemployed I certainly didn’t feel
powerful you know what I needed I needed
confidence that was tapped out I needed
courage move nope didn’t have any of
that when the alarm rang this is what I
felt like doing with the clock have you
ever had one of those mornings right
where you’re like not today no not today
I do not want to get out of bed today I
would lie in bed the alarm would go off
and I would start thinking about the day
ahead and I would start feeling
overwhelmed and I would feel this sense
of dread and I would feel like such a
failure you know I remember this period
of our life and I remember having those
moments where I’d be at the grocery
store and the items would be scanning
and I would feel the fear rising up
because I didn’t know if the check card
was going to go through because I didn’t
have the courage to look at the bank
account and so as I would lie in bed in
the morning and I would know by the way
my inner wisdom was there and your inner
wisdom is always there it’s always there
kind of nudging you pushing you begging
you to go forward my heroism was like
Mel you need to get up and I’d be like
yeah I don’t feel like it I developed
this habit of hitting the snooze button
over and over and over again every
morning I became one of those those
parents where the kids were always late
and
and you know here’s the thing about life
we don’t we don’t do this we don’t ever
kind of go to wake up in the morning go
go you know what I’m gonna do today
today today I’m gonna screw up my life
today I’m gonna hit the snooze button
four times I’m gonna blow off exercise
I’m gonna eat that whole tray of
doughnuts then I’m gonna go to work and
snap at people I’m gonna blow off
working at my business I’m gonna come
home and be mean to my spouse and
patient with my kids then I’m gonna
drink a ton it’s gonna be amazing right
you know we don’t do that what happens
is when you’re not paying attention when
you’re not really focused on what you
want when you’re not clear you make
these small decisions all day long that
slowly take you off course decisions
based and self-doubt decisions based in
fear decisions based in panic decisions
based in resignation and suddenly you
wake up one morning like I didn’t you’re
like wait a minute wait how did I get
over there and more importantly how do I
get over here SS question the other day
young construction business and a kid we
were in a big meeting with a with a
bunch of leadership foremen two
engineers all in the same room a bunch
of great guys from a great company and
each one of the young engineers raised
his hand and said you know I’m young and
I am gonna be in charge of these guys
you know I’m not sure I’m comfortable
with these guys have been doing it for a
lot longer what can I do to you know
gain their respect and I said okay who
in this room knows more than that
engineer back there about construction
and all these salty construction
Foreman’s raised their hands and I said
who you know who’s gonna think that this
guy’s got the best idea raise your hands
all the hands go down and I said so this
is what you’re dealing with
buddy I said now let me ask another
question the group group if this kid
comes in and says I know how to do this
better than you listen to me and do it
my way who’s gonna have respect for him
raise your hand no hands go up if this
young kid comes in and says hey I’m an
engineer I’ve been educated but I
haven’t been doing this for long can you
give me some recommendations on how we
do
so we can do the best job possible who’s
gonna have respect for him everyone
raises their hand so there you have it
you you you don’t have to know
everything as a leader no one expects
you know everything especially as a
young leader that’s okay and actually
when you admit that you actually gain
respect when you ask for people as input
you actually gain respect people get the
paranoid feeling that if they don’t know
something they’re gonna be seen as weak
it’s not true
so you can just step up into the
position still be humble still take
advice now this doesn’t mean that you’re
a pushover right this doesn’t mean that
you just listen to what everyone says
you don’t make any decisions no but it
actually means that you show respect to
their experience and when it comes time
to make a decision you get the best
input and then you make a decision and
you explain your decision and if your
decision is wrong you admit it if it’s
not wrong you push forward assume that
the person that you’re listening to
knows something you don’t
well they do the person you’re listening
to knows some things you don’t you can
be sure of that now whether or not you
can get to them is a different matter
but if you do get to them it’s a real
deal for you
that’s why you want to listen to the
other person’s arguments is because
you’re not everything you could be you
don’t know the pathway forward with as
much clarity as you could and it’s
possible this is one of the wonderful
things that I’ve had the privilege of
experiencing as a clinician know because
people it’s like I live inside a
Dostoyevsky novel as a clinician people
come in and they tell me about their
lives and I listen to them and they tell
me things that are just absolutely
beyond belief you know and I learn from
my clients constantly they’re they’re
telling me honestly about their
experience they tell me things they
wouldn’t tell anyone else because I
actually listen to them but part of the
reason I listen is because I’m desperate
to listen it’s like there’s a
possibility I’m gonna do something
stupid in the next five years that’s
gonna be like fatal and there’s some
small possibility that if we have a
decent discussion that you’ll tell me
something that will eliminate some of my
blindness so that I don’t have to fall
into that particular pit and if you have
a good sensitivity for the depth of the
pit then you know you’re pretty bloody
motivated to avoid it and so and that
and and that and that dialog is it’s
it’s dialogic it’s die
logos right it’s shared logos it’s the
way that we redeem ourselves mutually
moving forward I realized that when you
have the level of success that I want to
have it’s difficult to spread it out and
do multiple things you know it’s in
order to to be world-class and I’ve made
a decision I want to be world-class and
yet just it takes such a desperate
obsessive focus to to excel on assert
honor on the level that I want to make
movies you know I was a Star Wars when I
was young i sat in the movie theater and
watched Star Wars and I just couldn’t
believe that that movie made me feel
like that just floored and just stunned
by the creativity and just I’m realizing
that in order to move people in that way
in order to touch people in that way you
really got to focus with all of your
fiber and all your heart and all your
creativity you know we all know we need
to change but change is hard it’s hard
when you don’t feel confident it’s hard
when you don’t feel certain and that’s
exactly how I felt and I struggled and I
struggled and then one night it’s a
really stupid story I saw this rocket
launching and you know we’re gonna talk
about this word courage now when you
hear the word courage you think about
the big stuff don’t you you think about
a life-or-death moment you think about
your heroes I want you to consider that
courage is what you need every day that
there are conversations you have to have
that require courage for me I need a
courage to get out of bed because our
problems they just felt so big so I
struggled and struggled because I knew
what to do but I couldn’t make myself do
it if you ever felt that way like so
frustrated with yourself you knew you
need to exercise but you don’t do it you
know you need to drink less but you
don’t do it you know you need to stop
procrastinating but you don’t do it you
know you need to have the tough
conversations but you don’t do it you’re
stuck that’s how I was and then one
night I see this rocket launch and I say
oh oh my gosh that that’s it that’s it
I’m gonna launch myself out of bed like
a rocket ship tomorrow morning it is
gonna be amazing I’m gonna move so fast
that my mind cannot talk me out of this
now it could have been the four
manhattan’s talking you know that gave
me that idea because I had a drinking
problem that’s one of the things you do
you get emotional you reach for the
booze well for whatever reason the very
next morning I woke up I still had all
the same problems liens on the house
talking divorce with my husband of now
20 years just felt like such a loser I
did not feel like getting up I will
never forget this morning it was a cold
dark winter morning in February outside
of Boston Massachusetts and I just did
not feel like doing anything different
but I did one thing one thing that
changed everything
I started counting backwards five four
three two one and then all of a sudden I
what the hell just happened and the next
morning five four three two one I did it
again and it’s worked five four three
two one I did it again and it worked I
couldn’t believe it and now that I’m
almost 50 I still use it at 2:30 in the
morning when I wake up and I have to go
the bathroom you know like instead of
like you know trying to go back to bed
five four three two one and eat it
here’s what I noticed I noticed
something that when I say this to you
you’re gonna be like oh my god she’s
right there is a five-second window
between the moment that your inner
wisdom tells you you need to speak up
you need to get to the gym you need to
say something you need to get to work
and your mind killing it and if you
start counting backwards 5 4 3 2 1 you
can close the gap between the greatness
and you that’s dying to come to the
surface and the excuses that keep
snuffing it down now I never intended to
tell anybody about this because I
started use this to get up on time it
started use it to self-monitor so I
didn’t snap the Kris so I stopped
drinking so much I started to use it to
go on job interviews and it literally
changed everything because I started to
change I stopped being the kind of
person that would think about everything
and I five-four-three-two-one became the
kind of person that started acting and
every time I took action I started to
build confidence except at triage that
the things that I do at each company and
constantly think about what is the most
useful thing that I could that I could
do but even with that it’s that it still
actually just take it I don’t almost
amount of time and for a while I was
just doing constant hundred hour weeks
and that’s that’s definitely wearing and
and you know now I’m kind of in the 80
to 90 which is well manageable but you
know that if you divide that by two it’s
only like you know maybe 45 hours but
for a company which is not not much if
there’s a lot of things going on like a
now I gave this talk a couple years ago
about how it changed my career so many
times and again I wasn’t gonna talk
about the five-second rule because it
sounds stupid and in full disclosure I
didn’t know why it worked and plus I
didn’t want you to have it this was
working for me so why would I want you
to have it right so at the end of the
stock
this was the speech first speech I had
ever given so if you ever want to see
somebody have a 21 minute long panic
attack this is what it looks like I get
off stage and I’m like I’m never doing
that again and somebody puts the talk
online and something crazy started to
happen people from around the world
started to write and they were all
writing about this stupid simple very
powerful five second rule they were
using it to find the courage to reach
out to people they were using it to
become number one in sales they were
sharing it with their teams we know of
13 people that have stopped themselves
from committing suicide using this rule
this gentleman was a veteran and he
boarded the ferry with the intention of
jumping over he gets to the railing and
his inner wisdom kicks in I don’t care
how low you get I don’t care how high
you get your inner wisdom is always
there and when you hear it it is magic
when you listen to it it changes
everything as inner wisdom said this is
not the answer he went 5 4 3 2 1 and he
turned and he walked away we hear from
people all over the world people that
are using it to be more productive to
quit smoking after 23 years license
plates tattoos for crying out loud look
when people start tattooing this thing
on their body like I started to feel a
moral obligation to figure out why it
worked
so I’m gonna tell you some of the
science behind this I’m gonna explain
how you can use it and then I’m going to
show you how five second decisions
change everything so we all hear this
just do it right most famous tagline in
the world what’s the difference between
just do it and the five-second rule this
is a concept concepts make you go
upstairs I don’t want you upstairs
this is behind enemy lines you’re not
going to grow your business grow
yourself by thinking you got to take
action
right before you’re about to do anything
even if you’re an Olympic athlete what
do you do you stop and you think and
that’s the kiss of death now stop and
think if you’re gonna get tattoo or sign
a contract but on the little stuff do
not stop and think because what happens
when your feelings of failure kick in
and they will you start to think and
that leads you to doubting yourself
doesn’t it and the same thing happens
when you feel nervous same thing happens
when you feel unsure the same thing
happens when you feel like you’re a fake
the same thing happens when you feel
overwhelmed look at all these feelings
they’re triggering you to think that’s
the last thing you should do this is
what we call a habit loop any pattern
that you repeat becomes a habit
something you do without even thinking
so how do you break it you train
yourself to take action you train
yourself at the moment you feel nervous
you move why because when you take
action you actually build confidence
when you feel unsure and you move
forward anyway 5 4 3 2 1 you are
building the skill of confidence you are
bringing that greatness to the surface
now look south that’s normal feeling
overwhelmed is normal the people we
admire the most felt the same way you
ever heard the story of Michelangelo so
in the late and early 1500s he had never
painted a thing the Pope goes over to
see him and in his studio as he’s
carving a statue and the pope julius ii
turns to michael Angelyn says hey
Michelangelo I got some frescoes I want
you to paint in Vatican City
you know what Michelangelo felt totally
unsure do you know what he did he left
town
he hid from the Pope for two years
that’s how unsure he was you know what
the Pope that he stopped him for two
years
pushed him until he actually painted
those frescoes how about a more recent
one how many of you heard of Hamilton
yeah
Hamilton hit musical guess what three
and a half years ago it wasn’t even
finished
lin-manuel the guy that wrote it was
busy messaging with his wife Vanessa
what was he saying he was saying
something you and I can relate to when
it doesn’t happen as fast as I’d like it
to I have a hard time finding the
balance between not beating myself up
and not wasting time can’t you relate to
that she’s like you’re not unique dude
we all struggle with this we all all all
need the encouragement and the push you
know in this MIT this photo makes me sad
because when I think about this kid
right and standing there the longer he
looks the more he thinks about it the
less likely he’s going imagine the
difference that a push makes imagine a
coach behind him right right a coach a
coach going come on Sammy you got this
buddy you got this or an older brother
the problem is in life usually there’s
failure is part of life I mean the
difference for me though is I’m like a
failure as a stepping stone to success
it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna fail
but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes I’ve screwed so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability to influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that mess me up but
I show people that didn’t want to stop
me and you only to stop you and I think
I think that’s really a secret matter
and if everything you touch was
successful first got to relate to people
as much and also its be total
and everyone know it’s gold and also
you’d be bored silly I mean think about
it if you just said I want this to
happen I want this
happen you know people don’t value it
they don’t fight for you no it’s like
you see kids sometimes in it you know
your parents will say you’re not gonna
value this if you don’t work for it
and you’re keeping going oh well you’ll
just give it to me but it’s true you
know about things we’ve worked the
hardest for we value the most so I think
you know the purpose of the goal is not
getting it anyway the purpose of goal
you know is what who you become well you
become is gonna make you happier it’s
gonna make you sad so I’m not looking
for an effortless approach there’s no
such thing usually there’s nobody there
to push you it’s up to you that’s why
the five-second rule is your new best
friend this is what you’re gonna use to
push yourself the moment you have an
instinct to act on a goal you know you
should do some but you don’t feel like
getting out of bed I don’t care 5 4 3 2
1 you don’t feel like being nice to your
spouse I don’t care 5 4 3 2 1
use this for behaviors that you need to
do and for those things that are
emotional that are killing you drinking
too much eating a bunch of garbage
smoking gambling addiction when you feel
the emotion drawing you towards it 5 4 3
2 1 physically move away from it what is
this actually doing in your mind when
you count backwards it’s pretty
remarkable how such a simple thing does
something extraordinary when you start
counting backwards it is an action when
you start counting backwards that
requires focus when you start counting
backwards you are manually switching the
part of the brain that you’re using
you’re activating your prefrontal cortex
you’re interrupting the habit loops of
self-doubt of procrastination of fear of
anxiety and you are taking control one
five-second decision at a time it truly
is that simple I didn’t say it was easy
but it is this simple and it’s not gonna
be easy because you’re gonna fight
yourself now there are three ways that
you can use this we’ve heard of
literally hundreds of thousands of waves
we’ve heard of from hundreds of
thousands of people in 90 different
countries that are using this rule and
they fall into kind of three buckets you
can use this rule to change any behavior
five four three two one push yourself to
do something that you know you need to
do five four three two one pull yourself
away from something that you know you
should not be doing you can use it for
courage five four three two one step
into that risk five four three two one
push yourself outside your comfort zone
and the most important way you can use
it is you can use it for mind control
this one matters the most to me so let
me explain to you how to use it so a lot
of people see me on stage or on CNN and
they’re like who that chick was just
born very confident and very annoying
and I don’t you laugh because it’s true
not true I suffered from panic attacks
for over twenty years they started when
I was 19 years old they got so bad that
I was on Zoloft it was a miracle drug
for me and as I started to use the
five-second rule to literally I mean
change everything to go from facing
bankruptcy to running multi-million
dollar companies joining the teams at
CNN being a contributor to dr. oz and
success changing my marriage and how I
behaved changing my health habits
changing everything because what the
rule does is it gives you control over
your decisions it gives you control over
those five-second moments that change
everything for you because in those
five-second moments it’s where all the
opportunity and the joy in your life is
so I have wondered about five years ago
I wonder if you could use this simple
stupid
brilliant rule to cure yourself of
anxiety the answer is yes you can so
I’ve been off meds for five years I
haven’t had a panic attack since hell I
don’t even worry about anything yes
because I have used this rule to
completely rewire how I think you’re
gonna hear a lot about mindset today you
want to adopt a growth mindset you want
to change your habits this is a starting
ritual that you can use for any of them
let me explain how you do it in the
mental game so you ever notice how your
thoughts drift right you’re sitting in a
meeting and suddenly your thoughts are
like blah blah blah blah blah garbage
garbage garbage you suck suck suck suck
right you know whatever it is
the second that you get your thoughts
drifting you’re gonna go 5 4 3 2 1 and
yank them back here now the counting
backwards is essential it doesn’t work
to just try to change your thoughts
inserting the five-four-three-two-one
interrupts the pattern of bad talk to
yourself and self doubt and anxiety it
awakens your prefrontal cortex so your
brain is ready ready to receive a new
thought you know I’m going to use an
example that we can all relate to to
explain specifically how to do this
because I think this is so important I
used to be a nutcase about flying I
would get to the airport and I’d be in
the boarding area and I’d be looking for
Bishop TD jakes and I’d be looking for
babies and men and women in uniform
because I would say if they’re getting
on my plane
God is not letting this go down so then
I I get on the plane and I would buckle
up and then I’d start to feel the panic
rising and as soon as we take off and
the plane does that scary thing where
you get up and then all of a sudden
feels like it’s like turning off as it’s
leveling off then I would start to panic
and I would pull out my phone and I
would start texting my children you know
mommy loves you emoji emoji emoji
because if I’m gonna die in a plane
crash I want the kids to know that my
last act as a human being was to be the
best mom on the planet and then plus
they’ve got it for the eulogy when they
do the PowerPoint so they can prove it
to everybody and you giggle you giggle
because we’re sick human beings we’re
all sick right if we were to put a
speaker on your head and broadcast the
garbage you say to yourself you wouldn’t
be its success live you’d be in an
insane asylum for crying out loud but
here’s the problem we listen to it we
you let it rob you of your precious
lifetime you let it keep you from
stepping into your greatness you let it
stop you from saying what you really
believe you don’t have to second you
catch yourself thinking anything that
doesn’t serve you five four three two
one
take control five four three two one
insert a different thought every time I
talk about this when I fly I step on the
plane with an anchor thought I think
about where I’m gonna go and I flew here
you know what I thought about I thought
about you so every time the turbulence
happened I went five four three two one
I thought about you and my brain went oh
she’s not nervous about the plane she’s
so excited to see everybody its success
live this makes sense one of you many of
you are gonna text me right after this
and be like I can’t believe the smell I
use that stupid simple thing you just
talked about and this is the first time
I have ever been able to get on a plane
you can change how you think five
seconds at a time
do not ever underestimate your power to
change the things that matter most to
you so what advice do I have for college
graduates interested in getting involved
in the spheres you’ve tapped into well
certainly I don’t want you to apply for
a job at solar city or Tesla or SpaceX
and if not then if that doesn’t work for
whatever reason then I guess apply to
jobs at other companies in that arena or
try starting a company
although I have to say that it in the in
the the space business is quite it’s
quite hard to start a company in space
business because it’s such a capital
intensive business so it may be better
to do something in solar power or if
you’re gonna do it in cars do it and as
kind of a component supplier for cars
there’s no need even to have a college
degree at all we’re in high school there
but I mean if somebody graduated from a
great university that may be an
indication that they will be capable of
great things but it’s not necessarily
the case you know if you look at say
people like Bill Gates for Larry Ellison
Steve Jobs these guys didn’t graduate
from college but if you had a chance to
hire them of course that would be a good idea
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