I know I need to change I know I need to
work on my habits but what habits do i
actually focus on first in order to
change my life now in this video I want
to share with what I recommend would be
the very first habit that actually can
change your life in a very big way
especially if you need to get fitter you
need to work on your finances or there’s
a lot that needs to be worked on and
so I want to start the story first to
see if you can spot some of the key
differences between two people that are
both trying to reinvent themselves June
15 1950 for two beautiful twins are born
into the world
their names are Billy and Kelly now
they’re both born into the same social
class middle class they’re both raised
by great parents and a loving supporting
household a household that encourages
them to go after their wildest dreams
they both go to the same school and even
hang out with the same friends bait the
same potluck dinner every night and they
play the same sports they take the same
vacations and they even read the same
books they’re both into personal
development so they read at least one
great book per month they both get
married and go on to have kids and
create warm loving families that
celebrate the holidays together they
both read the same magazines watch the
same TV shows and even go to many of the
same events as adults but here’s where
they differ despite all their
similarities over the decades Kelly has
maintained her slim 135-pound physique
with very little variation over the
years she enjoys vibrant health
she’s bursting with energy that allows
her to juggle her career and a family
and still maintain her sanity she sleeps
soundly at night with the worries of her
own life and the world did not keeping
her off she’s pretty much never had a
muffin top and even now at age 48 even
though she’s gained a tiny bit of weight
she still looks great she also has
almost three-quarters of a million
dollars saved everyone described her as
so happy she could be on Prozac but she
seems to have it all her brother Billy
however is a different story all
together even though Billy and Kelly
were both in healthy weights in
20s when it’s easy Billy is now 50
pounds overweight with high blood
pressure pre-diabetes sleep apnea
a spastic colon no sex drive and exactly
zero energy in fact he doesn’t even
remember what being healthy felt like
since all he deals with every day is
constant impenetrable fatigue and brain
fog that hits in the second he wakes up
but despite earning a strong six-figure
income he’s over $50,000 in debt with
virtually no savings and to top it off
he’s known as the Scrooge of his talent
always complaining about the things that
go wrong for him and how hard he works
and how little he gets in return well
what gives how could two people with
similar IQs upbringing interests
education parenting styles and more have
ended up so different
how did Kelly’s life appear to get
better with age with incredible levels
of health and vitality physical wealth
happiness and an amazing family it
wasn’t just her net worth that got
better it was her life net worth and how
could Billy seem like a pawn thrown
around in the wind by an angry dee dee
what is he missing that she possesses so
this story is the very first story the
opening chapter the opening page of my
book master of the day so what did Kelly
actually possess that Billy did well to
me that one thing she possessed was
self-awareness so to me the most
important habit to change your life is
self-awareness all right I get it you
were looking for something sexy you’re
looking for a tactic to try something
that’s cool and unique that you haven’t
heard before but here’s my self
awareness is the key and it is not sexy
and not the sexy things that make people
successful in the holistic sense self
awareness shows you three things in your
life it shows of your flaws it shows of
your strengths and it shows you your
loops for me as a kid I used to be a
horrible know-it-all I would read books
on every subject imaginable I read
hundreds of books and the thing is I
knew lots of things from an intellectual
perspective I can tell you about sports
and medicine and philosophy and
meditation from an intellectual
perspective but not from a direct
experience perspective you know I knew a
lot about sex but not about having sex
you know what I mean that my flaw was
that I was a know-it-all so it took me
years of self-awareness practice to
understand that was a flaw and sometimes
it’s better to keep friends than to be
right but it also will show you your
strengths as a kid I was also extremely
sensitive I’m an infj myers-briggs type
super introverted and super receptive
and perceptive about people’s emotions
so as a kid I could read people almost
by the time we’d finished shaking hands
I could predict a personality pretty
accurately and it was kind of scary to
me but it was through these
self-awareness exercises that I could
learn that was actually a gift that was
actually something I was good at but
that was also something to know I should
double down on what my strengths were
now the third aspect of self-awareness
why it’s the most important habit is
that it shows you your boots you know as
when I was a kid whenever I would
complain to my mom and be like I wanted
to go to my friend’s house she’d say you
sound like a broken record all of us
have loose there are many names for
these things but they’re basically the
behaviors you know about your own
friends and family that they always do
that’s annoying as hell and you know
that it’s not helping them in life for
me I once had one of these clients where
she was looking for these mystical
solutions to her problems like looking
for Jesus looking for deities looking
for meditation trying to solve her
marriage issues and she was going up far
far far far far out looking for the
solution and when I got to talking to
her within five minutes I realized she
always complains she’s super negative
she puts people down she’s highly
critical of others in herself and I was
like this woman was looking for God and
what she needed was to work on her flaws
and her flaws were very obvious and
chances are they were loops that had
been present in her life probably for
decades and so when people complained
the not getting results there’s almost
always a loop the loop is sometimes a
belief sometimes a physical habit but
most often it’s a combination of both
through self-awareness you will know
when you go into yourself what your
flaws are what is stopping you from
having whatever the results are you want
in your relationship in Fitness in
finances all right so what do you
actually do about self-awareness though
how can you actually improve it well
meditative traditions
have been doing that for thousands of
years but for me what I did was a
nightly review now I’ve talked about
this before in some of my previous
videos but you can just as easily do
this with a blank piece of paper and
here’s what I do you say what did I do
well today what did I not do well and
what loops do I need to work on breaking
so for example you might have realized
hey yesterday you did a good job
complimenting your aunt on losing weight
when you saw her at Christmas or
Thanksgiving that’s a great trade
however you might have noticed that your
mom commented on you and you got
insecure felt threatened and you lashed
out you’re like mom you know you
regressed maybe 10 or 20 or 30 years
it’s ok it happens but I would put that
on that paper
great job complimenting people in a
genuine way that’s a great trait what I
need to work on not getting so defensive
when mom talks to me about my weight
or with some other issue most often it
happens with family because we are great
at triggering each other that’s a great
example of what I would need to work on
and then the third thing is what are the
loops that I need to fix for example in
my early in mid 20s I struggled a lot
with saving and earning more money and I
found that behind it first of all was
that I thought that hey life is short
screw it might as well enjoy my life go
on that trip go to Six Flags buy these
video games do whatever I want so my
belief was that life is short why save
money so I would write down that there’s
a belief here that’s preventing me from
growing my action was that I was not
saving and what I have to do is I have
to start saving $10 a day for example or
three dollars per day so in my opinion
in an experience but how do the changes
your life is the habit that gives you
God vision about yourself your strengths
your flaws your weaknesses and most of
all your loops there are pet ative
patterns of thinking and of doing that
are often sabotaging they’re not getting
you the best results you want because
otherwise why would you be here trying
to reflect on why you’re not getting the
results you want in life
right same way I was so what I want you
to think about today your tiny daily
habit is to do this three-part ritual do
the nightly ritual what am i do well
yesterday what did I do poorly what are
the loops I need to break
and you can think most often it’s where
you’re not getting results usually
finances health of relationships so
think carefully about those and where
those groups are
[Music]
you [Music]
work on my habits but what habits do i
actually focus on first in order to
change my life now in this video I want
to share with what I recommend would be
the very first habit that actually can
change your life in a very big way
especially if you need to get fitter you
need to work on your finances or there’s
a lot that needs to be worked on and
so I want to start the story first to
see if you can spot some of the key
differences between two people that are
both trying to reinvent themselves June
15 1950 for two beautiful twins are born
into the world
their names are Billy and Kelly now
they’re both born into the same social
class middle class they’re both raised
by great parents and a loving supporting
household a household that encourages
them to go after their wildest dreams
they both go to the same school and even
hang out with the same friends bait the
same potluck dinner every night and they
play the same sports they take the same
vacations and they even read the same
books they’re both into personal
development so they read at least one
great book per month they both get
married and go on to have kids and
create warm loving families that
celebrate the holidays together they
both read the same magazines watch the
same TV shows and even go to many of the
same events as adults but here’s where
they differ despite all their
similarities over the decades Kelly has
maintained her slim 135-pound physique
with very little variation over the
years she enjoys vibrant health
she’s bursting with energy that allows
her to juggle her career and a family
and still maintain her sanity she sleeps
soundly at night with the worries of her
own life and the world did not keeping
her off she’s pretty much never had a
muffin top and even now at age 48 even
though she’s gained a tiny bit of weight
she still looks great she also has
almost three-quarters of a million
dollars saved everyone described her as
so happy she could be on Prozac but she
seems to have it all her brother Billy
however is a different story all
together even though Billy and Kelly
were both in healthy weights in
20s when it’s easy Billy is now 50
pounds overweight with high blood
pressure pre-diabetes sleep apnea
a spastic colon no sex drive and exactly
zero energy in fact he doesn’t even
remember what being healthy felt like
since all he deals with every day is
constant impenetrable fatigue and brain
fog that hits in the second he wakes up
but despite earning a strong six-figure
income he’s over $50,000 in debt with
virtually no savings and to top it off
he’s known as the Scrooge of his talent
always complaining about the things that
go wrong for him and how hard he works
and how little he gets in return well
what gives how could two people with
similar IQs upbringing interests
education parenting styles and more have
ended up so different
how did Kelly’s life appear to get
better with age with incredible levels
of health and vitality physical wealth
happiness and an amazing family it
wasn’t just her net worth that got
better it was her life net worth and how
could Billy seem like a pawn thrown
around in the wind by an angry dee dee
what is he missing that she possesses so
this story is the very first story the
opening chapter the opening page of my
book master of the day so what did Kelly
actually possess that Billy did well to
me that one thing she possessed was
self-awareness so to me the most
important habit to change your life is
self-awareness all right I get it you
were looking for something sexy you’re
looking for a tactic to try something
that’s cool and unique that you haven’t
heard before but here’s my self
awareness is the key and it is not sexy
and not the sexy things that make people
successful in the holistic sense self
awareness shows you three things in your
life it shows of your flaws it shows of
your strengths and it shows you your
loops for me as a kid I used to be a
horrible know-it-all I would read books
on every subject imaginable I read
hundreds of books and the thing is I
knew lots of things from an intellectual
perspective I can tell you about sports
and medicine and philosophy and
meditation from an intellectual
perspective but not from a direct
experience perspective you know I knew a
lot about sex but not about having sex
you know what I mean that my flaw was
that I was a know-it-all so it took me
years of self-awareness practice to
understand that was a flaw and sometimes
it’s better to keep friends than to be
right but it also will show you your
strengths as a kid I was also extremely
sensitive I’m an infj myers-briggs type
super introverted and super receptive
and perceptive about people’s emotions
so as a kid I could read people almost
by the time we’d finished shaking hands
I could predict a personality pretty
accurately and it was kind of scary to
me but it was through these
self-awareness exercises that I could
learn that was actually a gift that was
actually something I was good at but
that was also something to know I should
double down on what my strengths were
now the third aspect of self-awareness
why it’s the most important habit is
that it shows you your boots you know as
when I was a kid whenever I would
complain to my mom and be like I wanted
to go to my friend’s house she’d say you
sound like a broken record all of us
have loose there are many names for
these things but they’re basically the
behaviors you know about your own
friends and family that they always do
that’s annoying as hell and you know
that it’s not helping them in life for
me I once had one of these clients where
she was looking for these mystical
solutions to her problems like looking
for Jesus looking for deities looking
for meditation trying to solve her
marriage issues and she was going up far
far far far far out looking for the
solution and when I got to talking to
her within five minutes I realized she
always complains she’s super negative
she puts people down she’s highly
critical of others in herself and I was
like this woman was looking for God and
what she needed was to work on her flaws
and her flaws were very obvious and
chances are they were loops that had
been present in her life probably for
decades and so when people complained
the not getting results there’s almost
always a loop the loop is sometimes a
belief sometimes a physical habit but
most often it’s a combination of both
through self-awareness you will know
when you go into yourself what your
flaws are what is stopping you from
having whatever the results are you want
in your relationship in Fitness in
finances all right so what do you
actually do about self-awareness though
how can you actually improve it well
meditative traditions
have been doing that for thousands of
years but for me what I did was a
nightly review now I’ve talked about
this before in some of my previous
videos but you can just as easily do
this with a blank piece of paper and
here’s what I do you say what did I do
well today what did I not do well and
what loops do I need to work on breaking
so for example you might have realized
hey yesterday you did a good job
complimenting your aunt on losing weight
when you saw her at Christmas or
Thanksgiving that’s a great trade
however you might have noticed that your
mom commented on you and you got
insecure felt threatened and you lashed
out you’re like mom you know you
regressed maybe 10 or 20 or 30 years
it’s ok it happens but I would put that
on that paper
great job complimenting people in a
genuine way that’s a great trait what I
need to work on not getting so defensive
when mom talks to me about my weight
or with some other issue most often it
happens with family because we are great
at triggering each other that’s a great
example of what I would need to work on
and then the third thing is what are the
loops that I need to fix for example in
my early in mid 20s I struggled a lot
with saving and earning more money and I
found that behind it first of all was
that I thought that hey life is short
screw it might as well enjoy my life go
on that trip go to Six Flags buy these
video games do whatever I want so my
belief was that life is short why save
money so I would write down that there’s
a belief here that’s preventing me from
growing my action was that I was not
saving and what I have to do is I have
to start saving $10 a day for example or
three dollars per day so in my opinion
in an experience but how do the changes
your life is the habit that gives you
God vision about yourself your strengths
your flaws your weaknesses and most of
all your loops there are pet ative
patterns of thinking and of doing that
are often sabotaging they’re not getting
you the best results you want because
otherwise why would you be here trying
to reflect on why you’re not getting the
results you want in life
right same way I was so what I want you
to think about today your tiny daily
habit is to do this three-part ritual do
the nightly ritual what am i do well
yesterday what did I do poorly what are
the loops I need to break
and you can think most often it’s where
you’re not getting results usually
finances health of relationships so
think carefully about those and where
those groups are
[Music]
you [Music]
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