everyone says I want that next level but
they don’t understand energy is the
requirement to get there and when we
measured energy in our studies its we’re
talking about really mental energy
emotional energy and physical energy and
it was a huge turning point in my life
when I started realizing these things
because you know that whole thing that
we as entrepreneurs we want to wait for
maybe one day I’ll feel energized or
maybe one day I’ll feel joy or maybe one
day I can have fun after you know all
the money’s in the bank and you know you
got you got the house or the cars or the
money or the you know the stuff and then
people go on then I’m gonna be really a
fun person it’s like no if you’re not a
fun person when you’re broke you’re not
going to be that much more fun when
you’re rich and I think that people have
to learn to bring the joy it’s one of
our little tag lines on our shirts all
right bring the joy and that says you
know you don’t have joy just like I
don’t think people have happiness I
don’t think people have sadness either I
think that we are generating the
emotions and the feelings that we
experience in life and soon as we own
that responsibility life gets really fun
because now we can choose it and I’ll
give you an example last night I spoke
to 12,000 people on stage here in LA at
the Convention Center and it was
terrifying because pit bull was opening
I’m backstage and I feel the cortisol
dropping I feel myself getting tense you
know pit bull talks for me like 10
minutes and then he does a four-song set
whoa okay when he finished his four song
set I got to come and hit the stage and
do 90 minutes and I’m backstage and the
emotion of my life at that moment is
terror is is is stress because do they
have my video they don’t have the video
the keynotes not working all this other
stuff is going on I mean it was just
like really intense but when I hit that
stage I’m responsible for my emotion and
my feelings you know feelings come up to
people so of course I’m I’m having
anxiety in that moment I’m kind of
freaked out I have to in that moment
determine the feeling I’m after and we
talk about that in the book is that we
have to determine the feeling that we
are after and live into that feeling not
hope it lands on us
and that’s when someone starts getting
real mastery in life because I knew I
had hit that stage and there couldn’t be
the stress on me there couldn’t be the
anxiety on me I had to bring joy out a
lot of stage at level you know 10x walk
us through the mechanisms of that so and
it’s something that you cover very well
in the book is there’s a process in fact
the book is high performing habits right
and yet you really go into the habits
the mechanisms the things you can do say
orchestrate in your life which i think
is really the core what makes the book
so powerful so in that moment you’re
backstage what are you actually doing
yeah
first I’m closing my eyes and say where
is this emotion coming from and I
realized in my mind it’s like oh it’s
because I’m thinking I have to go follow
pitbull and that’s where people fail in
life
well my Instagram is not like hers or
you know I’m not as famous as him you
know we have all these comparisons that
cause us cortisol or anxiety that shut
us down and then we stopped performing
our best because we’re trying to follow
somebody versus just go do our thing so
I identified that’s oh that’s where I’m
at okay what’s that causing that’s
causing that cortisol adrenaline
that I don’t want right now so what do I
need to do in the fastest ways to get
yourself back is usually you know breath
and movement so we teach a hyper
teachers program high performance
Academy it’s like one of the crowd
favorites on day three usually we have
2,000 people there and about 40% of the
audience is international so day three
their jet lag is just whooping them
right and I always predictable I know
exactly about but 1:00 in the afternoon
day three they start bonking so I do
this breath scaling thing where I teach
them to breathe in through their nose I
can bring breathing in the ocean like in
the breathe out okay and that’s kind of
the top level so we just start breathing
normal and they gets more and more and
more and more and more and more intense
until you’re at the top it’s literally
I sustained that like 60 seconds and
what it is it’s like a hit up like
oxygen you know like like cocaine to the
brain for oxygen and what it’s also
lightheaded or anything no cuz I’ve done
it so much right I don’t I don’t push
myself to get lightheaded
I pushed myself to fully oxygenate the
body but what you do soon as you do that
and the most important thing is for
those who are gonna try this at home you
scale up to it then you scale down to
find your regular breath again and you
need to not be standing there with your
knees locked and if you ever feel dizzy
sit down so but I do that and all this
that you feel an incredible amount of
energy in your body your mind just goes
super sharp and the added benefit of
that much oxygen oxygen intake lowers
cortisol that’s interesting all right we
know from meditative practices when you
deep breathe we tend to lower cortisol
or lower that sense of anxiety even if
we don’t get the full mechanism of the
hormone release then all of a sudden
it’s like I’m in my zone I’m ready to go
then I do full body chi gong looks like
a chi gong and a cupping activity in chi
gong is basically like you are you’re
padding up one inch at a time in
different parts of your body like this
all over so you do arms your legs your
back nope what that’s doing is opening
the meridians in your body and now my
body my mind is open my body is fully
ready to serve and now it’s like let’s
get it I’m excited because now it’s just
like I identified the source of the
anxiety got rid of it took care of the
mechanism the body that was also making
me feel like crap and then it’s been
it’s exciting I mean people see me on
this big stage and they think oh or they
see you and they think oh well you must
always be in the perfect state or the
perfect energy and he’s always gonna be
great and that’s not true you know great
athletes great performers an executive
walking an important meeting you got to
go deal with your kid who’s struggling
with math when we walk into those
situations we have to set intention for
what we want to do in that situation
and we have to release tension and so
the practices in high performance habits
that that was the second big finding
that we had was high performers are
generating the energy and that means
mental emotional physical energy that
they feel is necessary to serve with
excellence in a certain situation like
they’re so conscious of it and I know
that’s common sense for people but it’s
not always common practice yeah you know
it’s like a lot of people just wander
into that situation I’m the guy says you
know what get more intentional release
the tension you have walk-in is your
highest self because that’s something
you’ll never regret what we found it so
in high performance habits what we did
like you mentioned that we do the
world’s largest study of high performers
data from over 190 countries from what
it essentially turns out to be like
people who are in that top 15% of
whatever they do and we found that there
was basically personal habits and social
habits and then the personal habits was
you know like seek clarity generate
energy and that third one was raised
necessity which was something I didn’t
even know really was a thing
psychologically as important as it
turned out to be and necessity is kind
of short for a performance necessity or
what we call psychological necessity
which means there is a moment in which
you are serving people or you’re trying
to achieve your goal or your dream in
which now it is not a preference it’s a
must right but to use better languaging
it’s it becomes necessary for us to
excel in this like it’s not a hope
anymore it’s not it should do it it
becomes so necessary that it connects
with our identity that we feel it is
necessary for me to deliver with
excellence here because that is Who I am
it’s necessary for me to deliver with
excellence here because somebody needs
me to do well it’s necessary for me to
do well here because this topic this
thing I’m doing I’m passionate about
this I care about this I want to master
this I’m obsessed with this and it’s
necessary for me to do well because of
the time it’s it’s a deadline or it’s go
time or and when all those come together
that’s for that personal side of this is
my identity and obsessed about it and
that other side where it’s like somebody
needs me and there is a real deadline
right in the middle
that’s performance necessity and we when
we hit that the game
changer game-changer but it is
uncomfortable because people don’t want
to exude that much passion which it
becomes obsession because they’re
fearful of their obsessions well if I’m
obsessed about this topic it’s gonna
take away from my family from my time
it’s gonna introduce a lot of you know
fear or unknown to me so they back off
but I tell people all the time there is
a difference between passion and
obsession and high performers have
obsession about the topic right they are
obsessed about the topic in which
they’re trying to learn master grow into
and so that obsession is real I tell
people the difference here’s how you
know the difference between the two when
you’re passionate everybody cheers you
want they’re stoked for you oh you found
your passion awesome
follow your passion live with passion be
passionate chase your passions
everything like passion passion passion
passion passion is good like the world
to be like yeah it happens right when
you’re obsessed they’re like why you
gonna be so crazy why can’t she be
satisfied why do you always got to get
things so perfect why you spend so much
time here when you’re obsessed people
think you’re nuts
so it’s different and it’s like I was
tell you if no one thinks you’re crazy
you’re not yet operating to the outer
limits of your potential you’re not
there yet because somebody in your life
should say man you really care about
this in a like a crazy way and when you
get there you know you found your thing
and not ever you find nobody finds that
I think that’s also why it’s scary some
people go well I’m passionate or I’m
happy but I don’t really obsess about
anything you know most people obsess
about you know their shows on Netflix
more than their life I know people who
obsess more about their their you know
thread count in their sheets at their
house than they do about the impact of
making in the world why do you think
people can slip into an obsession over
Netflix or whatever or thread count but
they don’t do that
for something that could really change
their life feedback that simply says not
what I expected you to say what do you
mean by that because you know buying
something or getting pulled into Netflix
being obsessed about something that
gives you no feedback it’s not scary a
real obsession like trying to make an
impact
in the world you’re getting feedback you
try and make a difference in somebody’s
life they’re gonna tell you that doesn’t
resonate with me Brendan you try to make
a difference in a non-profit you try to
change the world you try to start
something like this and the views come
or they don’t come there’s feedback and
people are terrified it’s one of the
four central fears we all have is
rejection we’re terrified like to be
rejected and think about if you really
want to make an impact you’re going to
get a lot of judgement you’re gonna get
a lot of hate and ultimately gonna get
rejection people are gonna like just dis
Sonia people are gonna say that’s not
good enough you’re gonna say who do you
think you are and people are so worried
about that that they stop and so it’s
easier things that don’t give you
feedback watching Netflix don’t give you
no feedback it’s easy there’s more
disappointment there even if you don’t
like the show what do you do you just go
on to the next show there’s no there’s
no disappointment there you know I think
trying to make an impact there’s a lot
of disappointment and fear and potential
for rejection so people don’t get
obsessed about making a difference in
making an impact because it can hurt
when I started my career and I really
decided to go all-in with writing and
online training this is like 2000
probably six I’d gone broke completely
bankrupt and failed
I left my corporate job I had this cushy
kind of corporate job as a consultant
good job left it to right and I didn’t
know how to make it as a writer I want
to do seminars workshops didn’t know how
to do that so I was pretty much a hot
mess ran out of money
I got nothing then my name nothing kind
of no positive prospects no one’s
calling me except the guys who want the
money and one night I’m writing and the
apartments was small on the bed I had my
bills my vision boards all my research
on my journals like the bed was
basically the desk the extended desk and
my lady comes in Denice and she walks
past me but she sees I’m like trying to
write so it doesn’t want to stir me
chuco’s crawls under the covers of the
bed and I’m just typing kind of casually
typing away
and I look over and I see my woman
sleeping under my bills and it was just
like you know because none of us want to
see our you know our family suffer
because we are not performing and I was
just like I gotta figure this out and
I’m telling you I wrote more that night
than any night in my entire life next
day I wrote more than ever
that bird life just golden ticket which
came a best-seller and in you know 18
months later because I was like I’m
gonna figure out this online thing I
mean throughout marketing I’m gonna
figure out how to teach I’m gonna go to
train and get paid for it because I’d
never really unpaid for those things I
said I’m gonna figure out this industry
and I’m gonna make it 18 months later
after her crawling under the bills I
made four point six million dollars
online total transformation people like
how did you do it I’m like she gave me
and she was my necessity I was not going
to let my woman be in that situation and
she believed in me she supported me if
she married me and you know but that was
since she was my drive and the second
part was I went all-in with my identity
I said I am going to be a great writer
and I am going to be one of the greatest
online trainers there ever was strengths
are not highly correlated with long-term
success right there’s not a lot of data
and there is not a lot of research that
has shown it leads to long-term success
with the positive outcomes associated
with what we care about in psychology
which is we care about happiness we care
about health and care about your
positive relationships and this myth
that would just follow our strengths to
you know to the promised land is just
not true when you actually talk with
high performers because my favorite
question then if it was down this just
go after to anyone who’s good and say
were you always good at that and then be
like no thank me like not at all
you always have an inclination to do
every element of doing what you’re doing
really well no like me man I sucked on
stage this year I’ve talked to 60,000
people live this is really important
because this idea that we’re just our
strengths are gonna give us everything
it’s just it’s just not true I sucked
speaking on stage matter fact I was
terrified of it terrified but one reason
I love your show is because I had that
intention of I want to make an impact
and with someone actually asked and and
kind of owns that like when they say do
I want to make an impact and the answer
is yes and they own it they realize
they’re gonna have to develop they can
no longer leave their growth to mediate
you know to to to randomness because if
they do they’ll always be mediocre and
they realize I got to become something
entirely above both of those that’s what
most people don’t see they’re like it’s
we’ve made this binary false
conversation right it’s a it’s it’s not
a true sort of choice here it’s a false
dichotomy we call it right it’s not
strengths or weaknesses many of you if
you have a big dream a huge goal you got
to become something entirely above and
beyond any strengths you even know about
feel or own and go way beyond any
weaknesses you’ve ever even addressed or
even you know about because you’re gonna
discover so many new strengths and so
many new weaknesses on the path that
it’s almost irrelevant what they are now
it’s what’s the goal and build into that
you know I did know how to write I get a
lot of critics who are like literary
guys about my books because every book
is different right six books all of them
different and the reason they all read
differently is I am challenging myself
as a writer to develop to get better
every book I write I’m gonna write this
like nothing I’ve ever written before
and I go to work at building a new skill
set to be able to write like manifesto I
researched for two and a half years just
how to write it Wow not what to write
how how do I get that pentameter how do
i what was the rhythm in which
revolutionist rhetoric was spoken in or
written
and just to understand that took me two
and a half years so I had no conceptual
understanding of it it wasn’t a strength
I didn’t even it wasn’t even on my radar
when you get the life is really short
and you felt that before but either by
you were threatened or you’ve had
something near dear near and dear died
but when you have that real essence in
you that says life is short have
reverence for it live it that’s a really
big thing I got that at 19 and I learned
specifically that if we have a moment of
cognition before the end of our life we
tend to ask questions to evaluate if
we’re happy so if I have any impact in
the world it’s gonna come from that
experience where I learned that the
ultimate lesson is determine what the
questions you’re going to ask at the end
of your life are going to be find out
those questions what will you ask at the
end of your life to evaluate your life
so that you would know if you were happy
with your life like figure out those
questions and then live each day
intentionally so you’re happy with the
answers at the end for me the answers
are the questions I had were did I live
which I hadn’t been living my life I’ve
been thinking about taking my life did I
love no my heart was broken and I put up
all these walls to keep out other people
and I always say you know sometimes the
walls we put up to keep out the bad guys
prevent the good guys from getting in
and suddenly in our own self-protection
we block out the very thing we want
which is connection and I learned that I
would ask did I matter
you know 22 years ago on a dark
Caribbean night I’m standing on the
crumpled hood of a car and bleeding out
my friend I just wrecked a car he’s
screaming at top of his lungs he’s
bleeding we don’t forget to live and I’m
standing on her this car looking down
all this blood and I’m in terror and I
just remember looking down the hood and
just thinking did I even matter you know
and I hated the answer at that time life
because I’m 19 year old kid I didn’t
know about impact Theory for real I
didn’t know to think about that you do
something you know young kids
they don’t know to think about that I
didn’t know to think about legacy
meaning did I matter I didn’t think I
did but the good news is I’m a good
learner and I felt like I got a second
chance from God that night and I learned
that it was really important for me to
figure out how do I live and how do I
love and how do i matter in such a way
that if I face my death again I’ll know
I’ve earned the second chance and so
what I want to tell people and the
impact I want is I just want people no
no your questions man live intentionally
and earn the life that you’ve been given
because this moment is a blessing so
earn this moment and live intentionally
you
they don’t understand energy is the
requirement to get there and when we
measured energy in our studies its we’re
talking about really mental energy
emotional energy and physical energy and
it was a huge turning point in my life
when I started realizing these things
because you know that whole thing that
we as entrepreneurs we want to wait for
maybe one day I’ll feel energized or
maybe one day I’ll feel joy or maybe one
day I can have fun after you know all
the money’s in the bank and you know you
got you got the house or the cars or the
money or the you know the stuff and then
people go on then I’m gonna be really a
fun person it’s like no if you’re not a
fun person when you’re broke you’re not
going to be that much more fun when
you’re rich and I think that people have
to learn to bring the joy it’s one of
our little tag lines on our shirts all
right bring the joy and that says you
know you don’t have joy just like I
don’t think people have happiness I
don’t think people have sadness either I
think that we are generating the
emotions and the feelings that we
experience in life and soon as we own
that responsibility life gets really fun
because now we can choose it and I’ll
give you an example last night I spoke
to 12,000 people on stage here in LA at
the Convention Center and it was
terrifying because pit bull was opening
I’m backstage and I feel the cortisol
dropping I feel myself getting tense you
know pit bull talks for me like 10
minutes and then he does a four-song set
whoa okay when he finished his four song
set I got to come and hit the stage and
do 90 minutes and I’m backstage and the
emotion of my life at that moment is
terror is is is stress because do they
have my video they don’t have the video
the keynotes not working all this other
stuff is going on I mean it was just
like really intense but when I hit that
stage I’m responsible for my emotion and
my feelings you know feelings come up to
people so of course I’m I’m having
anxiety in that moment I’m kind of
freaked out I have to in that moment
determine the feeling I’m after and we
talk about that in the book is that we
have to determine the feeling that we
are after and live into that feeling not
hope it lands on us
and that’s when someone starts getting
real mastery in life because I knew I
had hit that stage and there couldn’t be
the stress on me there couldn’t be the
anxiety on me I had to bring joy out a
lot of stage at level you know 10x walk
us through the mechanisms of that so and
it’s something that you cover very well
in the book is there’s a process in fact
the book is high performing habits right
and yet you really go into the habits
the mechanisms the things you can do say
orchestrate in your life which i think
is really the core what makes the book
so powerful so in that moment you’re
backstage what are you actually doing
yeah
first I’m closing my eyes and say where
is this emotion coming from and I
realized in my mind it’s like oh it’s
because I’m thinking I have to go follow
pitbull and that’s where people fail in
life
well my Instagram is not like hers or
you know I’m not as famous as him you
know we have all these comparisons that
cause us cortisol or anxiety that shut
us down and then we stopped performing
our best because we’re trying to follow
somebody versus just go do our thing so
I identified that’s oh that’s where I’m
at okay what’s that causing that’s
causing that cortisol adrenaline
that I don’t want right now so what do I
need to do in the fastest ways to get
yourself back is usually you know breath
and movement so we teach a hyper
teachers program high performance
Academy it’s like one of the crowd
favorites on day three usually we have
2,000 people there and about 40% of the
audience is international so day three
their jet lag is just whooping them
right and I always predictable I know
exactly about but 1:00 in the afternoon
day three they start bonking so I do
this breath scaling thing where I teach
them to breathe in through their nose I
can bring breathing in the ocean like in
the breathe out okay and that’s kind of
the top level so we just start breathing
normal and they gets more and more and
more and more and more and more intense
until you’re at the top it’s literally
I sustained that like 60 seconds and
what it is it’s like a hit up like
oxygen you know like like cocaine to the
brain for oxygen and what it’s also
lightheaded or anything no cuz I’ve done
it so much right I don’t I don’t push
myself to get lightheaded
I pushed myself to fully oxygenate the
body but what you do soon as you do that
and the most important thing is for
those who are gonna try this at home you
scale up to it then you scale down to
find your regular breath again and you
need to not be standing there with your
knees locked and if you ever feel dizzy
sit down so but I do that and all this
that you feel an incredible amount of
energy in your body your mind just goes
super sharp and the added benefit of
that much oxygen oxygen intake lowers
cortisol that’s interesting all right we
know from meditative practices when you
deep breathe we tend to lower cortisol
or lower that sense of anxiety even if
we don’t get the full mechanism of the
hormone release then all of a sudden
it’s like I’m in my zone I’m ready to go
then I do full body chi gong looks like
a chi gong and a cupping activity in chi
gong is basically like you are you’re
padding up one inch at a time in
different parts of your body like this
all over so you do arms your legs your
back nope what that’s doing is opening
the meridians in your body and now my
body my mind is open my body is fully
ready to serve and now it’s like let’s
get it I’m excited because now it’s just
like I identified the source of the
anxiety got rid of it took care of the
mechanism the body that was also making
me feel like crap and then it’s been
it’s exciting I mean people see me on
this big stage and they think oh or they
see you and they think oh well you must
always be in the perfect state or the
perfect energy and he’s always gonna be
great and that’s not true you know great
athletes great performers an executive
walking an important meeting you got to
go deal with your kid who’s struggling
with math when we walk into those
situations we have to set intention for
what we want to do in that situation
and we have to release tension and so
the practices in high performance habits
that that was the second big finding
that we had was high performers are
generating the energy and that means
mental emotional physical energy that
they feel is necessary to serve with
excellence in a certain situation like
they’re so conscious of it and I know
that’s common sense for people but it’s
not always common practice yeah you know
it’s like a lot of people just wander
into that situation I’m the guy says you
know what get more intentional release
the tension you have walk-in is your
highest self because that’s something
you’ll never regret what we found it so
in high performance habits what we did
like you mentioned that we do the
world’s largest study of high performers
data from over 190 countries from what
it essentially turns out to be like
people who are in that top 15% of
whatever they do and we found that there
was basically personal habits and social
habits and then the personal habits was
you know like seek clarity generate
energy and that third one was raised
necessity which was something I didn’t
even know really was a thing
psychologically as important as it
turned out to be and necessity is kind
of short for a performance necessity or
what we call psychological necessity
which means there is a moment in which
you are serving people or you’re trying
to achieve your goal or your dream in
which now it is not a preference it’s a
must right but to use better languaging
it’s it becomes necessary for us to
excel in this like it’s not a hope
anymore it’s not it should do it it
becomes so necessary that it connects
with our identity that we feel it is
necessary for me to deliver with
excellence here because that is Who I am
it’s necessary for me to deliver with
excellence here because somebody needs
me to do well it’s necessary for me to
do well here because this topic this
thing I’m doing I’m passionate about
this I care about this I want to master
this I’m obsessed with this and it’s
necessary for me to do well because of
the time it’s it’s a deadline or it’s go
time or and when all those come together
that’s for that personal side of this is
my identity and obsessed about it and
that other side where it’s like somebody
needs me and there is a real deadline
right in the middle
that’s performance necessity and we when
we hit that the game
changer game-changer but it is
uncomfortable because people don’t want
to exude that much passion which it
becomes obsession because they’re
fearful of their obsessions well if I’m
obsessed about this topic it’s gonna
take away from my family from my time
it’s gonna introduce a lot of you know
fear or unknown to me so they back off
but I tell people all the time there is
a difference between passion and
obsession and high performers have
obsession about the topic right they are
obsessed about the topic in which
they’re trying to learn master grow into
and so that obsession is real I tell
people the difference here’s how you
know the difference between the two when
you’re passionate everybody cheers you
want they’re stoked for you oh you found
your passion awesome
follow your passion live with passion be
passionate chase your passions
everything like passion passion passion
passion passion is good like the world
to be like yeah it happens right when
you’re obsessed they’re like why you
gonna be so crazy why can’t she be
satisfied why do you always got to get
things so perfect why you spend so much
time here when you’re obsessed people
think you’re nuts
so it’s different and it’s like I was
tell you if no one thinks you’re crazy
you’re not yet operating to the outer
limits of your potential you’re not
there yet because somebody in your life
should say man you really care about
this in a like a crazy way and when you
get there you know you found your thing
and not ever you find nobody finds that
I think that’s also why it’s scary some
people go well I’m passionate or I’m
happy but I don’t really obsess about
anything you know most people obsess
about you know their shows on Netflix
more than their life I know people who
obsess more about their their you know
thread count in their sheets at their
house than they do about the impact of
making in the world why do you think
people can slip into an obsession over
Netflix or whatever or thread count but
they don’t do that
for something that could really change
their life feedback that simply says not
what I expected you to say what do you
mean by that because you know buying
something or getting pulled into Netflix
being obsessed about something that
gives you no feedback it’s not scary a
real obsession like trying to make an
impact
in the world you’re getting feedback you
try and make a difference in somebody’s
life they’re gonna tell you that doesn’t
resonate with me Brendan you try to make
a difference in a non-profit you try to
change the world you try to start
something like this and the views come
or they don’t come there’s feedback and
people are terrified it’s one of the
four central fears we all have is
rejection we’re terrified like to be
rejected and think about if you really
want to make an impact you’re going to
get a lot of judgement you’re gonna get
a lot of hate and ultimately gonna get
rejection people are gonna like just dis
Sonia people are gonna say that’s not
good enough you’re gonna say who do you
think you are and people are so worried
about that that they stop and so it’s
easier things that don’t give you
feedback watching Netflix don’t give you
no feedback it’s easy there’s more
disappointment there even if you don’t
like the show what do you do you just go
on to the next show there’s no there’s
no disappointment there you know I think
trying to make an impact there’s a lot
of disappointment and fear and potential
for rejection so people don’t get
obsessed about making a difference in
making an impact because it can hurt
when I started my career and I really
decided to go all-in with writing and
online training this is like 2000
probably six I’d gone broke completely
bankrupt and failed
I left my corporate job I had this cushy
kind of corporate job as a consultant
good job left it to right and I didn’t
know how to make it as a writer I want
to do seminars workshops didn’t know how
to do that so I was pretty much a hot
mess ran out of money
I got nothing then my name nothing kind
of no positive prospects no one’s
calling me except the guys who want the
money and one night I’m writing and the
apartments was small on the bed I had my
bills my vision boards all my research
on my journals like the bed was
basically the desk the extended desk and
my lady comes in Denice and she walks
past me but she sees I’m like trying to
write so it doesn’t want to stir me
chuco’s crawls under the covers of the
bed and I’m just typing kind of casually
typing away
and I look over and I see my woman
sleeping under my bills and it was just
like you know because none of us want to
see our you know our family suffer
because we are not performing and I was
just like I gotta figure this out and
I’m telling you I wrote more that night
than any night in my entire life next
day I wrote more than ever
that bird life just golden ticket which
came a best-seller and in you know 18
months later because I was like I’m
gonna figure out this online thing I
mean throughout marketing I’m gonna
figure out how to teach I’m gonna go to
train and get paid for it because I’d
never really unpaid for those things I
said I’m gonna figure out this industry
and I’m gonna make it 18 months later
after her crawling under the bills I
made four point six million dollars
online total transformation people like
how did you do it I’m like she gave me
and she was my necessity I was not going
to let my woman be in that situation and
she believed in me she supported me if
she married me and you know but that was
since she was my drive and the second
part was I went all-in with my identity
I said I am going to be a great writer
and I am going to be one of the greatest
online trainers there ever was strengths
are not highly correlated with long-term
success right there’s not a lot of data
and there is not a lot of research that
has shown it leads to long-term success
with the positive outcomes associated
with what we care about in psychology
which is we care about happiness we care
about health and care about your
positive relationships and this myth
that would just follow our strengths to
you know to the promised land is just
not true when you actually talk with
high performers because my favorite
question then if it was down this just
go after to anyone who’s good and say
were you always good at that and then be
like no thank me like not at all
you always have an inclination to do
every element of doing what you’re doing
really well no like me man I sucked on
stage this year I’ve talked to 60,000
people live this is really important
because this idea that we’re just our
strengths are gonna give us everything
it’s just it’s just not true I sucked
speaking on stage matter fact I was
terrified of it terrified but one reason
I love your show is because I had that
intention of I want to make an impact
and with someone actually asked and and
kind of owns that like when they say do
I want to make an impact and the answer
is yes and they own it they realize
they’re gonna have to develop they can
no longer leave their growth to mediate
you know to to to randomness because if
they do they’ll always be mediocre and
they realize I got to become something
entirely above both of those that’s what
most people don’t see they’re like it’s
we’ve made this binary false
conversation right it’s a it’s it’s not
a true sort of choice here it’s a false
dichotomy we call it right it’s not
strengths or weaknesses many of you if
you have a big dream a huge goal you got
to become something entirely above and
beyond any strengths you even know about
feel or own and go way beyond any
weaknesses you’ve ever even addressed or
even you know about because you’re gonna
discover so many new strengths and so
many new weaknesses on the path that
it’s almost irrelevant what they are now
it’s what’s the goal and build into that
you know I did know how to write I get a
lot of critics who are like literary
guys about my books because every book
is different right six books all of them
different and the reason they all read
differently is I am challenging myself
as a writer to develop to get better
every book I write I’m gonna write this
like nothing I’ve ever written before
and I go to work at building a new skill
set to be able to write like manifesto I
researched for two and a half years just
how to write it Wow not what to write
how how do I get that pentameter how do
i what was the rhythm in which
revolutionist rhetoric was spoken in or
written
and just to understand that took me two
and a half years so I had no conceptual
understanding of it it wasn’t a strength
I didn’t even it wasn’t even on my radar
when you get the life is really short
and you felt that before but either by
you were threatened or you’ve had
something near dear near and dear died
but when you have that real essence in
you that says life is short have
reverence for it live it that’s a really
big thing I got that at 19 and I learned
specifically that if we have a moment of
cognition before the end of our life we
tend to ask questions to evaluate if
we’re happy so if I have any impact in
the world it’s gonna come from that
experience where I learned that the
ultimate lesson is determine what the
questions you’re going to ask at the end
of your life are going to be find out
those questions what will you ask at the
end of your life to evaluate your life
so that you would know if you were happy
with your life like figure out those
questions and then live each day
intentionally so you’re happy with the
answers at the end for me the answers
are the questions I had were did I live
which I hadn’t been living my life I’ve
been thinking about taking my life did I
love no my heart was broken and I put up
all these walls to keep out other people
and I always say you know sometimes the
walls we put up to keep out the bad guys
prevent the good guys from getting in
and suddenly in our own self-protection
we block out the very thing we want
which is connection and I learned that I
would ask did I matter
you know 22 years ago on a dark
Caribbean night I’m standing on the
crumpled hood of a car and bleeding out
my friend I just wrecked a car he’s
screaming at top of his lungs he’s
bleeding we don’t forget to live and I’m
standing on her this car looking down
all this blood and I’m in terror and I
just remember looking down the hood and
just thinking did I even matter you know
and I hated the answer at that time life
because I’m 19 year old kid I didn’t
know about impact Theory for real I
didn’t know to think about that you do
something you know young kids
they don’t know to think about that I
didn’t know to think about legacy
meaning did I matter I didn’t think I
did but the good news is I’m a good
learner and I felt like I got a second
chance from God that night and I learned
that it was really important for me to
figure out how do I live and how do I
love and how do i matter in such a way
that if I face my death again I’ll know
I’ve earned the second chance and so
what I want to tell people and the
impact I want is I just want people no
no your questions man live intentionally
and earn the life that you’ve been given
because this moment is a blessing so
earn this moment and live intentionally
you
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