people look like they have a much better
life than they really do people are
posting pictures of when they are really
happy they’re modifying those pictures
to be better looking the Federal Trade
Commission has confirmed it is
investigating Facebook’s privacy
practices in the wake of the Cambridge
analytic a scandal the unintended
consequences of of a network when it
grows to a billion or two billion people
and it and it be and it it literally
changes your relationship with society
with each other with yeah uh you know it
it it probably interferes with
productivity and weird ways it god only
knows what it’s doing to to our
children’s brains even if they’re not
modifying the pictures there at least
selecting the pictures for the best
lighting the best angle so people
basically seem they’re way better
looking then they basically really are
right and they’re way happier seeming
than they really are so if you look at
everyone on Instagram you might think
man they’re all these happy beautiful
people and I’m not that good-looking and
I am NOT happy so I must suck you know
and that’s gonna may feel sad so when in
fact those people you think are super
happy actually not that happy some of
them are really depressed
they’re very sad so I’m happy assuming
people actually some of the saddest
people in reality and and and nobody
looks good all the time doesn’t matter
who you are the if the thought process
that went into building these
applications Facebook being the first of
them to really understand it that
thought process was all about how do we
consume as much of your time and
conscious attention as possible and that
means that we need to sort of give you a
little dopamine hit every once in a
while because someone like
commented on a photo where a post or
whatever and that’s gonna get you to
contribute more content and that’s gonna
get you you know more likes and comment
so it’s a it’s a valid it’s a social
validation feedback loop that that it’s
like I mean it’s exactly the kind of
thing that a that a hacker like myself
would come up with because you’re
exploiting a vulnerability in in human
psychology and I just I think that we
you know we the inventors creators you
know and it’s it’s me it’s mark it’s the
you know Kevin Systrom and Instagram
it’s all of these people understood this
consciously and we did it anyway
turn it off that’s what I would say it’s
it’s it’s hard for young people now cuz
they’re going they’re addicted if you
don’t think you’re addicted and I’m
talking about it anyone from the highest
of the lowest if you don’t think you’re
addicted you can see if you can turn it
off for a week you got quiet you didn’t
get real quiet it’s a tool so we should
use it God has blessed us with free will
now if we will magnify if we will on
steroids you’re free to go in any
direction you want it will allow you and
it’s not the enemy it’s just the mat
it’s it’s just a reflection of our own
free will oh and and we all want to be
liked but now we want to be liked by 16
million and we’ll now some of us do
anything to be light we we used to do
anything to be liked but it was the by
the person in front of you now was to be
liked by 16 million people that you
don’t know we have to ask ourselves what
is the long-term if not to the
short-term effect
too much information I feel tremendous
guilt I think we I think we all knew in
the back of our minds even though we
feigned this whole line of like there
probably aren’t any really bad
unintended consequences I think in the
back
deep deep recesses of our minds we we
kind of knew something bad could happen
but I think the way we defined it was
not like this it literally is a point
now where I think we have created tools
that are ripping apart the social fabric
of how society works that is truly where
we are and I would encourage all of you
as the future leaders of the world to
really internalize how important this is
if you feed the beast that beast will
destroy you if you push back on it we
have a chance to control it and rein it
in and it is a point in time where
people need to hard break from some of
these tools and the things that you rely
on the short term dopamine driven
feedback loops that we have created are
destroying how society works no civil
discourse no cooperation misinformation
miss truth and it’s not an American
problem this is not about Russian ads
this is a global problem so we’re in a
really bad state of affairs right now in
my opinion it is it is eroding the core
foundations of how people behave by and
between each other and I don’t have a
good solution you know my solution is I
just don’t use these tools anymore I
haven’t for years and it’s weird I guess
I kind of just innately didn’t want to
get programmed and so I just turn to
tuned it out but I didn’t confront it
and now to see what’s happening it’s
really it really it really bums me out
and tell us I love that analogy you made
on 60 minutes about the slot machine
yeah that the phone is really a slot
machine and every time people are
checking they want earn they want to get
some sort of goose
I mean it’s built into our brains of
variable scheduled rewards so if you
pull a lever and sometimes you get a
reward and sometimes you don’t sometimes
you get a reward like you’re invited to
the Bill Maher show and sometimes you
pull your lever and you get a newsletter
on email you want to throw away it makes
it addictive and so everything about our
phone accidentally becomes a slot
machine because it could be a text
message from someone you love or it
could be nothing but the more frequently
a buzzes the more it conditions us to
check more and so it’s obviously leading
to these kind of addictive problems that
everybody feels and the reason though
that this this this we need you to use
it as much as possible thing comes from
is because of the attention economy
there’s only so much attention the
attention economy and right because when
information gets abundant the only thing
that’s left is attention gets scarce
because there’s only our lives to fit it
inside of so that it becomes hyper
competitive and the reason people are
stupider to your point is because they
don’t read anymore and the reason they
don’t read there’s no time yeah because
they’re doing this bullshit well and and
because this race for attention means I
have to go lower on the brain stem so it
I would do better in the attention
economy if I offer you a short simple
story soundbite that confirms your
beliefs about the world then if I show
you a complex nuanced
oh man the world is really complicated
we don’t have time for that and the more
it invisibly becomes this slippery slope
down to or in right now the thing is
there’s this myth that technology is
neutral that it’s up to us to choose how
we use it therefore these platforms are
not responsible it is not true because
the debugged room because these
companies not because they’re evil but
they need to get as much attention as
possible there we’ve so if something
that is so station or if something is
sensational they have to show you the
sensational thing that you gets more
attention than if they showed you
complex things that got less attention
they have to and you know anybody runs a
website or you know knows this consumer
internet businesses are about exploiting
psychology and that is one where you
want to feel fast because you know
people aren’t predictable and so we want
to psychologically figure out how to
manipulate you as fast as possible and
then give you back that dopamine hit we
did that brilliantly at Facebook
Instagram has done it whatsapp has done
it
you know snapchat has done it Twitter
has done it
so there are great examples we chat his
doing it there are great examples of
failing fast is the right path to
exploiting psychology of mass
populations of people I did a great job
there and I think that business
overwhelmingly does positive good in the
world where I have decided to spend my
time is to take the capital that they
rewarded me with and now focus on the
structural changes that I can control I
can’t control that
I can control my decisions which is I
don’t use this shit I can control my
kids decisions which is they’re not
allowed to use this shit and then I can
go focus on diabetes and education and
climate change that’s what I can do but
everybody else has to soul search a
little bit more about what you’re
willing to do because your behaviors you
don’t realize it but you are being
programmed it was unintentional but now
you got to decide how much you’re
willing to give up how much of your
intellectual independence and don’t
think oh yeah not me I’m fucking genius
I’m at Stanford you’re probably the most
likely to fucking fall for it because
you were fucking check boxing your whole
goddamn life no offense guys often what
people have to do to get themselves out
of an addictive process is to find
something better to do to replace it and
so I would say the problem with the
gadgets and I mean they’re amazing
things is that they interfere with they
proximately interfere with medium to
long term goals I would say and so I
think the first thing you have to do to
bring them under control is figure out
what it is that their use is interfering
with it has to be something important so
you think well I want to do something
important what is that it could be
personal maybe you want to have a
relationship you want to get married you
you want to have kids you want to have a
career that’s meaningful
you know you wanna have a life you want
to have an Abrahamic adventure and be
the father of Nations let’s say well it
can’t be ratting away on your cell phone
and doing that and so I think I think
part of it is to set your sights high
and make a plan and figure out who you
could be and see if obsessive
utilization of smartphone fits into that
vision of nobility
it will partly because they’re they’re
unbelievably powerful communication
devices but so so often it’s it’s for
lack of something better to do and it
also interferes we know that engagement
with social media and our cell phones
releases a chemical called dopamine
that’s why when you get a text feels
good right so you know we’ve all had it
or you’re feeling a little bit down or
feeling a bit lonely
and so you send out ten texts to ten
friends you know hi hi hi hi hi cuz it
feels good when you get a response right
right it’s why we count the likes it’s
why we go back ten times to see if and
if it’s going if our mints and my
Instagram is growing slower I would I do
something wrong do they not like me
anymore right
the trauma for young kids to be
unfriended right because we know when
you get it you get a hit a dopamine
which feels good it’s why we like it
it’s why we keep going back to it
dopamine is the exact same chemical that
makes us feel good when we smoke when we
drink and when we gamble in other words
it’s highly highly addictive right we
have age restrictions on smoking
gambling and alcohol and we have no age
restrictions and social media and cell
phones which is the equivalent of
opening up the liquor cabinet and saying
to our teenagers hey by the way this
but that’s basically what’s happening
that’s basically what’s happening right
that’s basically what happened you have
an entire generation that has access to
an addictive numbing to chemical called
dopamine through social media and
cellphones as they’re going through the
high stress of adolescence why is this
important almost every alcoholic
discovered alcohol when they were
teenagers when we’re very very young the
only approval we need is the approval of
our parents and as we go through
adolescence we make this transition
where we now need the approval of our
peers very frustrating for our parents
very important for us that allows us to
acculturate
outside of our immediate families into
the broader tribe right it’s a highly
highly stressful and anxious period of
our lives and we’re supposed to learn to
rely on our friends
some people quite by accident discover
alcohol and numbing effects of dopamine
to help them cope with the stresses and
anxieties of adolescents unfortunately
that becomes hardwired in their brains
and for the rest of their lives when
they suffer significant stress they will
not turn to a person they will turn to
the bottle social stress financial
stress career stress that’s pretty much
the primary reasons why an alcoholic
drinks right what’s happening is because
we’re out allowing unfettered access to
these dopamine producing devices and
media basically it’s becoming hardwired
and what we’re seeing is as they grow
older they – many kids don’t know how to
form deep meaningful relationships their
words not mine they will admit that many
of their friendships are superficial
they will admit that their friends that
they don’t count on their friends they
don’t rely on their friends they have
fun with their friends but they also
know that their friends will cancel out
them that something better comes along
deep meaningful relationships are not
there because they never practice the
skillset and worse they don’t have the
coping mechanisms to deal with stress so
when significant stress starts to show
up in their lives they’re not turning to
a person they’re turning to a device
they’re turning to social media they’re
turning to these things which offer
temporary relief we know the science is
clear we know that people who spend more
time on Facebook so far higher rates of
depression than people spend less time
on Facebook write these things balanced
alcohol is not bad too much alcohol is
bad gambling is fun too much gambling is
dangerous right there’s nothing wrong
with social media and cell phones it’s
the imbalance right if you’re sitting at
dinner with your friends and you’re
texting somebody who’s not there that’s
a problem that’s an addiction if you’re
sitting in a meeting with people you’re
supposed to be listening to and speaking
and you put your phone on the table face
up or face down I don’t care that sends
the subconscious message to the room
that you’re not just you’re just not
that important to me right now right
that’s what happens and the fact that
you cannot put it away it’s because you
are addicted right if you wake up and
you check your phone before you say good
morning to your girlfriend boyfriend or
spouse you have an addiction and like
all addiction in time it’ll destroy
relationships it’ll cost time and it’ll
cost money and it’ll make your life
Millennials get a bad rap being entitled
unfocused you say that’s not true there
every single generation is affected by
whatever’s going on in the world during
their formative years so if somebody
grew up during the Great Depression or
the Second World War they may grow up to
be miserly for example or frugal you
know wanting to squeeze every drip of
toothpaste out of the tube well of
course it’s because they grew up during
you know rations of course they’re gonna
be like that well likewise this
generation that grew up during the turn
of the millennia they came of age at the
Millennium grew up in a time of
technology that we didn’t have and it’s
had an effect on how they view the world
some of it positive some of it more
challenging my biggest concern is is the
unfettered access to to social media and
cell phones quite frankly because
there’s a biology to these things that
are as addictive as alcohol nicotine and
gambling I notice that therefore I don’t
have a sofa I have a flip phone which is
wonderful it’s all I use it for us to
talk I like the sound of the voice why
has it overtaken us I notice I
deliberately yeah will not have it
because I know I’d be addicted you know
it’s about balance it’s not that they’re
inherently bad and it’s not it’s not
that texting or social media is
inherently bad but it’s when it gets out
of balance if somebody carries their
phone wherever they go like they
physically feel anxiety if they if they
put it down when they with their friends
and have to have it up the entire time
looking at the phone while they’re with
their friends you know when they wake up
in the morning and check their phone
before they say good morning to the
person sleeping next to them
these are problems this is out of
balance what do they do for them are
they are there there’s their centers
where you go for drug addiction and
alcohol addiction is there a center now
for they’re starting to be but it’s not
yet officially recognized as an
addiction in this country and so we
don’t treat it as an addiction we don’t
even recognize it as an addiction so we
accuse this bit more you know all
generations but it’s it’s exaggerated in
the millennial generation for being
entitled or whatever other well we have
to deal then we’ll withdraw
yes I mean that’s just like any
addiction you’re gonna go through
withdrawal before you find health again
here’s the thing the world we live in
isn’t real social media isn’t real and
by design social media rewards us for
showing our best life the edited posed
champagne Michelin star holiday
orchestrated best angle of our life the
highlight reel but you don’t ever see
real life the 99% of our lives the
behind the scenes that unglamorous
unfiltered day-to-day bland normality
and you end up comparing your behind the
scenes to other people’s fake highlight
reel and using others as a mirror
benchmark for how you should look how
successful you should be or how you
should live these fake comparisons will
only serve to make you feel inadequate
and inferior to something that isn’t
even real research continually shows
that comparing your life to someone
else’s creates envy low self confidence
low self-esteem and depression you
compare yourself to other people every
single day
consciously also consciously and no
matter what I say you’re not going to
stop because comparing one thing to
another is a natural human thing to do
whether we want to admit it or not a big
reason why anything has value it’s
because there’s something worse or
better to compare it to think about it
and I’ll brick of a mobile phone with a
big aerial is only considered amazing in
a world before the smartphone the horse
and carriage is only considered a
phenomenal mode of transport until the
car comes along the answer isn’t to stop
making comparisons because unfortunately
we can’t control that but you have to
change the object of your comparison
from someone else to yourself you have
to measure yourself against yourself and
by doing this you start a base point
where you consider yourself to be
perfectly fine exactly how you are but
it also is the most effective motivating
and a healthy way to work to improve
yourself you’ll become you’re happy
yourself when you stop putting pressure
on yourself to be more like someone else
and when you start comparing reel to reel
life than they really do people are
posting pictures of when they are really
happy they’re modifying those pictures
to be better looking the Federal Trade
Commission has confirmed it is
investigating Facebook’s privacy
practices in the wake of the Cambridge
analytic a scandal the unintended
consequences of of a network when it
grows to a billion or two billion people
and it and it be and it it literally
changes your relationship with society
with each other with yeah uh you know it
it it probably interferes with
productivity and weird ways it god only
knows what it’s doing to to our
children’s brains even if they’re not
modifying the pictures there at least
selecting the pictures for the best
lighting the best angle so people
basically seem they’re way better
looking then they basically really are
right and they’re way happier seeming
than they really are so if you look at
everyone on Instagram you might think
man they’re all these happy beautiful
people and I’m not that good-looking and
I am NOT happy so I must suck you know
and that’s gonna may feel sad so when in
fact those people you think are super
happy actually not that happy some of
them are really depressed
they’re very sad so I’m happy assuming
people actually some of the saddest
people in reality and and and nobody
looks good all the time doesn’t matter
who you are the if the thought process
that went into building these
applications Facebook being the first of
them to really understand it that
thought process was all about how do we
consume as much of your time and
conscious attention as possible and that
means that we need to sort of give you a
little dopamine hit every once in a
while because someone like
commented on a photo where a post or
whatever and that’s gonna get you to
contribute more content and that’s gonna
get you you know more likes and comment
so it’s a it’s a valid it’s a social
validation feedback loop that that it’s
like I mean it’s exactly the kind of
thing that a that a hacker like myself
would come up with because you’re
exploiting a vulnerability in in human
psychology and I just I think that we
you know we the inventors creators you
know and it’s it’s me it’s mark it’s the
you know Kevin Systrom and Instagram
it’s all of these people understood this
consciously and we did it anyway
turn it off that’s what I would say it’s
it’s it’s hard for young people now cuz
they’re going they’re addicted if you
don’t think you’re addicted and I’m
talking about it anyone from the highest
of the lowest if you don’t think you’re
addicted you can see if you can turn it
off for a week you got quiet you didn’t
get real quiet it’s a tool so we should
use it God has blessed us with free will
now if we will magnify if we will on
steroids you’re free to go in any
direction you want it will allow you and
it’s not the enemy it’s just the mat
it’s it’s just a reflection of our own
free will oh and and we all want to be
liked but now we want to be liked by 16
million and we’ll now some of us do
anything to be light we we used to do
anything to be liked but it was the by
the person in front of you now was to be
liked by 16 million people that you
don’t know we have to ask ourselves what
is the long-term if not to the
short-term effect
too much information I feel tremendous
guilt I think we I think we all knew in
the back of our minds even though we
feigned this whole line of like there
probably aren’t any really bad
unintended consequences I think in the
back
deep deep recesses of our minds we we
kind of knew something bad could happen
but I think the way we defined it was
not like this it literally is a point
now where I think we have created tools
that are ripping apart the social fabric
of how society works that is truly where
we are and I would encourage all of you
as the future leaders of the world to
really internalize how important this is
if you feed the beast that beast will
destroy you if you push back on it we
have a chance to control it and rein it
in and it is a point in time where
people need to hard break from some of
these tools and the things that you rely
on the short term dopamine driven
feedback loops that we have created are
destroying how society works no civil
discourse no cooperation misinformation
miss truth and it’s not an American
problem this is not about Russian ads
this is a global problem so we’re in a
really bad state of affairs right now in
my opinion it is it is eroding the core
foundations of how people behave by and
between each other and I don’t have a
good solution you know my solution is I
just don’t use these tools anymore I
haven’t for years and it’s weird I guess
I kind of just innately didn’t want to
get programmed and so I just turn to
tuned it out but I didn’t confront it
and now to see what’s happening it’s
really it really it really bums me out
and tell us I love that analogy you made
on 60 minutes about the slot machine
yeah that the phone is really a slot
machine and every time people are
checking they want earn they want to get
some sort of goose
I mean it’s built into our brains of
variable scheduled rewards so if you
pull a lever and sometimes you get a
reward and sometimes you don’t sometimes
you get a reward like you’re invited to
the Bill Maher show and sometimes you
pull your lever and you get a newsletter
on email you want to throw away it makes
it addictive and so everything about our
phone accidentally becomes a slot
machine because it could be a text
message from someone you love or it
could be nothing but the more frequently
a buzzes the more it conditions us to
check more and so it’s obviously leading
to these kind of addictive problems that
everybody feels and the reason though
that this this this we need you to use
it as much as possible thing comes from
is because of the attention economy
there’s only so much attention the
attention economy and right because when
information gets abundant the only thing
that’s left is attention gets scarce
because there’s only our lives to fit it
inside of so that it becomes hyper
competitive and the reason people are
stupider to your point is because they
don’t read anymore and the reason they
don’t read there’s no time yeah because
they’re doing this bullshit well and and
because this race for attention means I
have to go lower on the brain stem so it
I would do better in the attention
economy if I offer you a short simple
story soundbite that confirms your
beliefs about the world then if I show
you a complex nuanced
oh man the world is really complicated
we don’t have time for that and the more
it invisibly becomes this slippery slope
down to or in right now the thing is
there’s this myth that technology is
neutral that it’s up to us to choose how
we use it therefore these platforms are
not responsible it is not true because
the debugged room because these
companies not because they’re evil but
they need to get as much attention as
possible there we’ve so if something
that is so station or if something is
sensational they have to show you the
sensational thing that you gets more
attention than if they showed you
complex things that got less attention
they have to and you know anybody runs a
website or you know knows this consumer
internet businesses are about exploiting
psychology and that is one where you
want to feel fast because you know
people aren’t predictable and so we want
to psychologically figure out how to
manipulate you as fast as possible and
then give you back that dopamine hit we
did that brilliantly at Facebook
Instagram has done it whatsapp has done
it
you know snapchat has done it Twitter
has done it
so there are great examples we chat his
doing it there are great examples of
failing fast is the right path to
exploiting psychology of mass
populations of people I did a great job
there and I think that business
overwhelmingly does positive good in the
world where I have decided to spend my
time is to take the capital that they
rewarded me with and now focus on the
structural changes that I can control I
can’t control that
I can control my decisions which is I
don’t use this shit I can control my
kids decisions which is they’re not
allowed to use this shit and then I can
go focus on diabetes and education and
climate change that’s what I can do but
everybody else has to soul search a
little bit more about what you’re
willing to do because your behaviors you
don’t realize it but you are being
programmed it was unintentional but now
you got to decide how much you’re
willing to give up how much of your
intellectual independence and don’t
think oh yeah not me I’m fucking genius
I’m at Stanford you’re probably the most
likely to fucking fall for it because
you were fucking check boxing your whole
goddamn life no offense guys often what
people have to do to get themselves out
of an addictive process is to find
something better to do to replace it and
so I would say the problem with the
gadgets and I mean they’re amazing
things is that they interfere with they
proximately interfere with medium to
long term goals I would say and so I
think the first thing you have to do to
bring them under control is figure out
what it is that their use is interfering
with it has to be something important so
you think well I want to do something
important what is that it could be
personal maybe you want to have a
relationship you want to get married you
you want to have kids you want to have a
career that’s meaningful
you know you wanna have a life you want
to have an Abrahamic adventure and be
the father of Nations let’s say well it
can’t be ratting away on your cell phone
and doing that and so I think I think
part of it is to set your sights high
and make a plan and figure out who you
could be and see if obsessive
utilization of smartphone fits into that
vision of nobility
it will partly because they’re they’re
unbelievably powerful communication
devices but so so often it’s it’s for
lack of something better to do and it
also interferes we know that engagement
with social media and our cell phones
releases a chemical called dopamine
that’s why when you get a text feels
good right so you know we’ve all had it
or you’re feeling a little bit down or
feeling a bit lonely
and so you send out ten texts to ten
friends you know hi hi hi hi hi cuz it
feels good when you get a response right
right it’s why we count the likes it’s
why we go back ten times to see if and
if it’s going if our mints and my
Instagram is growing slower I would I do
something wrong do they not like me
anymore right
the trauma for young kids to be
unfriended right because we know when
you get it you get a hit a dopamine
which feels good it’s why we like it
it’s why we keep going back to it
dopamine is the exact same chemical that
makes us feel good when we smoke when we
drink and when we gamble in other words
it’s highly highly addictive right we
have age restrictions on smoking
gambling and alcohol and we have no age
restrictions and social media and cell
phones which is the equivalent of
opening up the liquor cabinet and saying
to our teenagers hey by the way this
but that’s basically what’s happening
that’s basically what’s happening right
that’s basically what happened you have
an entire generation that has access to
an addictive numbing to chemical called
dopamine through social media and
cellphones as they’re going through the
high stress of adolescence why is this
important almost every alcoholic
discovered alcohol when they were
teenagers when we’re very very young the
only approval we need is the approval of
our parents and as we go through
adolescence we make this transition
where we now need the approval of our
peers very frustrating for our parents
very important for us that allows us to
acculturate
outside of our immediate families into
the broader tribe right it’s a highly
highly stressful and anxious period of
our lives and we’re supposed to learn to
rely on our friends
some people quite by accident discover
alcohol and numbing effects of dopamine
to help them cope with the stresses and
anxieties of adolescents unfortunately
that becomes hardwired in their brains
and for the rest of their lives when
they suffer significant stress they will
not turn to a person they will turn to
the bottle social stress financial
stress career stress that’s pretty much
the primary reasons why an alcoholic
drinks right what’s happening is because
we’re out allowing unfettered access to
these dopamine producing devices and
media basically it’s becoming hardwired
and what we’re seeing is as they grow
older they – many kids don’t know how to
form deep meaningful relationships their
words not mine they will admit that many
of their friendships are superficial
they will admit that their friends that
they don’t count on their friends they
don’t rely on their friends they have
fun with their friends but they also
know that their friends will cancel out
them that something better comes along
deep meaningful relationships are not
there because they never practice the
skillset and worse they don’t have the
coping mechanisms to deal with stress so
when significant stress starts to show
up in their lives they’re not turning to
a person they’re turning to a device
they’re turning to social media they’re
turning to these things which offer
temporary relief we know the science is
clear we know that people who spend more
time on Facebook so far higher rates of
depression than people spend less time
on Facebook write these things balanced
alcohol is not bad too much alcohol is
bad gambling is fun too much gambling is
dangerous right there’s nothing wrong
with social media and cell phones it’s
the imbalance right if you’re sitting at
dinner with your friends and you’re
texting somebody who’s not there that’s
a problem that’s an addiction if you’re
sitting in a meeting with people you’re
supposed to be listening to and speaking
and you put your phone on the table face
up or face down I don’t care that sends
the subconscious message to the room
that you’re not just you’re just not
that important to me right now right
that’s what happens and the fact that
you cannot put it away it’s because you
are addicted right if you wake up and
you check your phone before you say good
morning to your girlfriend boyfriend or
spouse you have an addiction and like
all addiction in time it’ll destroy
relationships it’ll cost time and it’ll
cost money and it’ll make your life
Millennials get a bad rap being entitled
unfocused you say that’s not true there
every single generation is affected by
whatever’s going on in the world during
their formative years so if somebody
grew up during the Great Depression or
the Second World War they may grow up to
be miserly for example or frugal you
know wanting to squeeze every drip of
toothpaste out of the tube well of
course it’s because they grew up during
you know rations of course they’re gonna
be like that well likewise this
generation that grew up during the turn
of the millennia they came of age at the
Millennium grew up in a time of
technology that we didn’t have and it’s
had an effect on how they view the world
some of it positive some of it more
challenging my biggest concern is is the
unfettered access to to social media and
cell phones quite frankly because
there’s a biology to these things that
are as addictive as alcohol nicotine and
gambling I notice that therefore I don’t
have a sofa I have a flip phone which is
wonderful it’s all I use it for us to
talk I like the sound of the voice why
has it overtaken us I notice I
deliberately yeah will not have it
because I know I’d be addicted you know
it’s about balance it’s not that they’re
inherently bad and it’s not it’s not
that texting or social media is
inherently bad but it’s when it gets out
of balance if somebody carries their
phone wherever they go like they
physically feel anxiety if they if they
put it down when they with their friends
and have to have it up the entire time
looking at the phone while they’re with
their friends you know when they wake up
in the morning and check their phone
before they say good morning to the
person sleeping next to them
these are problems this is out of
balance what do they do for them are
they are there there’s their centers
where you go for drug addiction and
alcohol addiction is there a center now
for they’re starting to be but it’s not
yet officially recognized as an
addiction in this country and so we
don’t treat it as an addiction we don’t
even recognize it as an addiction so we
accuse this bit more you know all
generations but it’s it’s exaggerated in
the millennial generation for being
entitled or whatever other well we have
to deal then we’ll withdraw
yes I mean that’s just like any
addiction you’re gonna go through
withdrawal before you find health again
here’s the thing the world we live in
isn’t real social media isn’t real and
by design social media rewards us for
showing our best life the edited posed
champagne Michelin star holiday
orchestrated best angle of our life the
highlight reel but you don’t ever see
real life the 99% of our lives the
behind the scenes that unglamorous
unfiltered day-to-day bland normality
and you end up comparing your behind the
scenes to other people’s fake highlight
reel and using others as a mirror
benchmark for how you should look how
successful you should be or how you
should live these fake comparisons will
only serve to make you feel inadequate
and inferior to something that isn’t
even real research continually shows
that comparing your life to someone
else’s creates envy low self confidence
low self-esteem and depression you
compare yourself to other people every
single day
consciously also consciously and no
matter what I say you’re not going to
stop because comparing one thing to
another is a natural human thing to do
whether we want to admit it or not a big
reason why anything has value it’s
because there’s something worse or
better to compare it to think about it
and I’ll brick of a mobile phone with a
big aerial is only considered amazing in
a world before the smartphone the horse
and carriage is only considered a
phenomenal mode of transport until the
car comes along the answer isn’t to stop
making comparisons because unfortunately
we can’t control that but you have to
change the object of your comparison
from someone else to yourself you have
to measure yourself against yourself and
by doing this you start a base point
where you consider yourself to be
perfectly fine exactly how you are but
it also is the most effective motivating
and a healthy way to work to improve
yourself you’ll become you’re happy
yourself when you stop putting pressure
on yourself to be more like someone else
and when you start comparing reel to reel
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