I have something that I call the
six-month rule that is danger zone don’t
stay there Michael Jordan couldn’t want
those championships by himself he had a
rise and shine it’s an espresso time
what’s up believe nation its Evan I
believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s start your day
off right together grab your coffee and
sip on today’s message apply the six
months rule over to you Mel Robbins also
if you want to know what Mel Robbins and
other successful entrepreneurs have to
say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence the link to join is in
the description below everybody’s
problem comes down to one pattern your
repeating that you can’t see your brain
helps you and if you’re somebody that’s
watching this and you have no clue what
you want I’m gonna say that’s total bull
we’ve got a great question about dealing
with relationships friendships where you
have a close friend who’s a real downer
and they’ve got all kinds of issues and
they are draining the you-know-what out
of your energy it happens all the time
I’m gonna say a couple things about this
I have something that I call the six
month rule for the people in your life
your friends your family people are
going to go through ups and downs and I
think it’s super super super important
that you be there for people that you
listen to the things that they’re
struggling with that you give advice
that you help them find resources you
must must must do that this is part of
being an incredible friend
however when the issue sticks around so
long that your friendships spirals into
a situation where that friendship is
nothing more than you listening to
somebody complain and now it’s zapping
your energy now it’s time for you to
change how you’re behaving in the
friendship so this is why I call it the
six month rule for six months absolutely
listen to somebody give them all the
advice be the shoulder they cry on let
them pitch in kovitch and all that stuff
to you all day long but if after six
months your friend is still complaining
and doing nothing and is still
complaining and acting helpless is still
stuck in that rut and refusing to take
your advice it’s really important that
you draw some boundaries and it’s
important for you it’s also important
for your friend so here’s what you’re
gonna do you’re basically just gonna say
look I love you I know you’re going
through a hard time but I will no longer
listen to you complain about it and the
reason why is because it’s not helping
you and it’s really starting to make me
sad that you’re still this stuck and
you’re not taking action let’s
definitely hang out let’s spend a lot of
time together but we’re not allowed to
talk about this anymore the second you
start taking action to fix the situation
we can talk about it again and you know
that I’m here for you but I’m not here
for you so that you can stay stuck I’m
here for you so that you can get better
so that you can grow most of your
friends who are negative right now will
still be negative in six months if
someone is negative somebody is sucking
the energy out of you then you can’t
wait six months to fix it this is like
dating somebody and thinking that you
can change them you can’t change them
don’t try to change them either accept
for who they are or cut them out of your
life this applies to your life not just
your friends how long do you give
someone before you move on how long do
you give a business idea before you move
on how long do you work with a partner
an employee or supplier before you move
on and instead of using an arbitrary six
months figure and wasting months of your
life I’m gonna give you a three-step
process to help you make better faster
decisions
number one is follow your heart are you
actually passionate about maintaining
our friendship with this person or you a
friend with them now because it’s
convenience because you’ve been their
friend for 10 years because maybe you’ve
grown a lot in the past 10 years and
they have it and really you should be on
different paths you’re still together
you’re still talking to them they still
are a part of your life out of
obligation out of convenience out of you
being afraid to go off and make new
friends and if that’s the place you’re
coming from that’s not a great
friendship if that’s what your heart is
telling you you need to get out of that
relationship ASAP it doesn’t have to be
mean or rude or smug or better than
anybody else but you should not be in
that relationship where if you feel like
you guys genuinely have a lot in common
this is a friendship that you
desperately want to save and it’s in the
best interest of both of you that’s when
you fight for it
number two is focus on momentum I’m a
big believer of momentum in friendships
in life in business momentum momentum
momentum it’s so important is there
positive momentum in this relationship
with your friends or is it negative
momentum are they actively trying to
make the friendship better or are you
the one constantly trying to put more
wood on the fire you’re the one
constantly reaching out trying to say
things will get better trying to apply
in days to get together like are you the
one who’s constantly putting momentum in
and you feel like there’s a big energy
suck around you or they actually put an
effort to anytime you feel that there
was a lack of momentum anytime you feel
like the wind has been sucked out of
your sails and you’re just sitting there
in the middle of the ocean on the
sailboat not moving in a direction that
is danger zone don’t stay there so many
people stay there with a relationship
with a business with a job you stay
stuck you stay stuck in a life that you
hate because there is zero momentum do
not stay there and so analyze these
friendships analyze the people around
you can you quickly build some more
positive momentum in there and if not
get out and be with somebody where you
can have momentum because momentum is
the juice of life and number three is
find your one word your one word is is
seeing the most important core value –
believe there it is why is that
important because humans connect basis
of share values with each other and so
if you know what your one word is and
you know roughly what other people’s one
where it is then you know if you’re
gonna be compatible or not somebody who
is ain’t I believe somebody who is toxic
and negative and doesn’t like believe
we’re not gonna be great friends you
know you don’t need to be on the belief
train you don’t need to have drunk the
kool-aid and watch all my videos but you
have to you have to believe in people if
we’re gonna be friends ant I believe
behavior is toxic to me it doesn’t mean
that you’re a bad person doesn’t mean
that you can’t go off and have an
amazing life just we can’t walk the same
path together and so you don’t need to
have all your friends have the same one
word core value as you but they need to
be at least sisters or cousins kind of
related words something that feels right
and when you have understanding of what
you stand for and when you know what the
people around you staying for and their
behaviors and their actions that makes
it a lot easier as a filtering mechanism
to figure out who you want to continue
to run the race of life with now I’ve
got a really special bonus clip that I
think you’re gonna enjoy but before that
question of the day I want to know what
is the biggest challenge that you’re
facing in dumping a negative friend and
cutting them out from your life let me
like Michael Jordan couldn’t one
championships by himself he and his
coach yeah there’s people around him one
obviously I was never exposed to that
kind of environment like my father was
murdered when I was 12 years old and I
was I was I had the experience that
myself in person so that’s the kind of
life that shaped and cultivated me so I
didn’t know anything outside of the hood
but when I was around people who were
like light beers and world changers and
who actually was like I am NOT they’re
not they weren’t just saying I want to
change the planet they’re I’m changing
the planet this is what I’m doing this
is the result this is the book that I’m
reading these are the seminars that I
took so just being around that
environment it was like a form of
language and I’ll tell you really quick
the greatest way to learn if you want to
learn French it’s not at coffee bean
doing rosetta stone go to France eat a
baguette be around the French people be
around the culture so at when I was in
that culture by default I just started
shifting and went compressing time
frames we want to be around people that
somehow give us the sense that guy when
I’m around that person I don’t know they
just I just feel better they make me
better somehow
let’s say it’s you and me and what I
want to feel from you is that you’ve got
my back you understand me and that when
you’re making decisions it’s not just
for you it’s for me as well and so a
rising tide floats all boats the
relationships that go wrong or sour is
if I’m on the side of this relationship
I’m like do I trust that he’s making
these thoughts or moves because it’s
right for him or me
and the thus our relationships are the
one where it’s really just good for you
and I’m just casualty in your in your
experience so what we do a head of time
is we invest in the relationship so for
example the Seattle Seahawks the product
is football so just like a business
you’ve got products for your businesses
as well and but we are relationship
based organization is if coach care was
here he’d say that’s how we run the
organization a relationship based
organization and the output is football
and that we found that to be incredibly
valuable because we don’t do none of us
do this thing alone and if we’re really
gonna go the distance and really step
into the frontier to do the amazingly
difficult challenging things we need to
lock arms to stay in the trenches long
enough and what happens for most people
is we lock arms we say oh yeah let’s go
get it and then we lock arms and as soon
as it’s hard the brain kicks in and it’s
the survival mechanisms in the brain are
stronger than the thriving mechanisms so
the survival mechanisms are very light
up and what do we do we save our own ass
and we unlock our arms and we take care
of ourselves that is how people fray in
rugged and stressful environments
emotionally stressful environments we
unlock and so the extraordinary able to
stay the course locked arms because
their mission minded they’ve they’re
really clear about what they want to
experience and they bet on each other
raise your standard value not one drop
of my self-worth depends on your it’s
something serene also if you want more
Mel Robbins check out the top fifty
rules video I did on here the link is
there right next to me I think you’ll
enjoy it continue to believe and I’ll
see you there our minds are designed to
stop you at all costs from doing anything that might hurt you
six-month rule that is danger zone don’t
stay there Michael Jordan couldn’t want
those championships by himself he had a
rise and shine it’s an espresso time
what’s up believe nation its Evan I
believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s start your day
off right together grab your coffee and
sip on today’s message apply the six
months rule over to you Mel Robbins also
if you want to know what Mel Robbins and
other successful entrepreneurs have to
say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence the link to join is in
the description below everybody’s
problem comes down to one pattern your
repeating that you can’t see your brain
helps you and if you’re somebody that’s
watching this and you have no clue what
you want I’m gonna say that’s total bull
we’ve got a great question about dealing
with relationships friendships where you
have a close friend who’s a real downer
and they’ve got all kinds of issues and
they are draining the you-know-what out
of your energy it happens all the time
I’m gonna say a couple things about this
I have something that I call the six
month rule for the people in your life
your friends your family people are
going to go through ups and downs and I
think it’s super super super important
that you be there for people that you
listen to the things that they’re
struggling with that you give advice
that you help them find resources you
must must must do that this is part of
being an incredible friend
however when the issue sticks around so
long that your friendships spirals into
a situation where that friendship is
nothing more than you listening to
somebody complain and now it’s zapping
your energy now it’s time for you to
change how you’re behaving in the
friendship so this is why I call it the
six month rule for six months absolutely
listen to somebody give them all the
advice be the shoulder they cry on let
them pitch in kovitch and all that stuff
to you all day long but if after six
months your friend is still complaining
and doing nothing and is still
complaining and acting helpless is still
stuck in that rut and refusing to take
your advice it’s really important that
you draw some boundaries and it’s
important for you it’s also important
for your friend so here’s what you’re
gonna do you’re basically just gonna say
look I love you I know you’re going
through a hard time but I will no longer
listen to you complain about it and the
reason why is because it’s not helping
you and it’s really starting to make me
sad that you’re still this stuck and
you’re not taking action let’s
definitely hang out let’s spend a lot of
time together but we’re not allowed to
talk about this anymore the second you
start taking action to fix the situation
we can talk about it again and you know
that I’m here for you but I’m not here
for you so that you can stay stuck I’m
here for you so that you can get better
so that you can grow most of your
friends who are negative right now will
still be negative in six months if
someone is negative somebody is sucking
the energy out of you then you can’t
wait six months to fix it this is like
dating somebody and thinking that you
can change them you can’t change them
don’t try to change them either accept
for who they are or cut them out of your
life this applies to your life not just
your friends how long do you give
someone before you move on how long do
you give a business idea before you move
on how long do you work with a partner
an employee or supplier before you move
on and instead of using an arbitrary six
months figure and wasting months of your
life I’m gonna give you a three-step
process to help you make better faster
decisions
number one is follow your heart are you
actually passionate about maintaining
our friendship with this person or you a
friend with them now because it’s
convenience because you’ve been their
friend for 10 years because maybe you’ve
grown a lot in the past 10 years and
they have it and really you should be on
different paths you’re still together
you’re still talking to them they still
are a part of your life out of
obligation out of convenience out of you
being afraid to go off and make new
friends and if that’s the place you’re
coming from that’s not a great
friendship if that’s what your heart is
telling you you need to get out of that
relationship ASAP it doesn’t have to be
mean or rude or smug or better than
anybody else but you should not be in
that relationship where if you feel like
you guys genuinely have a lot in common
this is a friendship that you
desperately want to save and it’s in the
best interest of both of you that’s when
you fight for it
number two is focus on momentum I’m a
big believer of momentum in friendships
in life in business momentum momentum
momentum it’s so important is there
positive momentum in this relationship
with your friends or is it negative
momentum are they actively trying to
make the friendship better or are you
the one constantly trying to put more
wood on the fire you’re the one
constantly reaching out trying to say
things will get better trying to apply
in days to get together like are you the
one who’s constantly putting momentum in
and you feel like there’s a big energy
suck around you or they actually put an
effort to anytime you feel that there
was a lack of momentum anytime you feel
like the wind has been sucked out of
your sails and you’re just sitting there
in the middle of the ocean on the
sailboat not moving in a direction that
is danger zone don’t stay there so many
people stay there with a relationship
with a business with a job you stay
stuck you stay stuck in a life that you
hate because there is zero momentum do
not stay there and so analyze these
friendships analyze the people around
you can you quickly build some more
positive momentum in there and if not
get out and be with somebody where you
can have momentum because momentum is
the juice of life and number three is
find your one word your one word is is
seeing the most important core value –
believe there it is why is that
important because humans connect basis
of share values with each other and so
if you know what your one word is and
you know roughly what other people’s one
where it is then you know if you’re
gonna be compatible or not somebody who
is ain’t I believe somebody who is toxic
and negative and doesn’t like believe
we’re not gonna be great friends you
know you don’t need to be on the belief
train you don’t need to have drunk the
kool-aid and watch all my videos but you
have to you have to believe in people if
we’re gonna be friends ant I believe
behavior is toxic to me it doesn’t mean
that you’re a bad person doesn’t mean
that you can’t go off and have an
amazing life just we can’t walk the same
path together and so you don’t need to
have all your friends have the same one
word core value as you but they need to
be at least sisters or cousins kind of
related words something that feels right
and when you have understanding of what
you stand for and when you know what the
people around you staying for and their
behaviors and their actions that makes
it a lot easier as a filtering mechanism
to figure out who you want to continue
to run the race of life with now I’ve
got a really special bonus clip that I
think you’re gonna enjoy but before that
question of the day I want to know what
is the biggest challenge that you’re
facing in dumping a negative friend and
cutting them out from your life let me
like Michael Jordan couldn’t one
championships by himself he and his
coach yeah there’s people around him one
obviously I was never exposed to that
kind of environment like my father was
murdered when I was 12 years old and I
was I was I had the experience that
myself in person so that’s the kind of
life that shaped and cultivated me so I
didn’t know anything outside of the hood
but when I was around people who were
like light beers and world changers and
who actually was like I am NOT they’re
not they weren’t just saying I want to
change the planet they’re I’m changing
the planet this is what I’m doing this
is the result this is the book that I’m
reading these are the seminars that I
took so just being around that
environment it was like a form of
language and I’ll tell you really quick
the greatest way to learn if you want to
learn French it’s not at coffee bean
doing rosetta stone go to France eat a
baguette be around the French people be
around the culture so at when I was in
that culture by default I just started
shifting and went compressing time
frames we want to be around people that
somehow give us the sense that guy when
I’m around that person I don’t know they
just I just feel better they make me
better somehow
let’s say it’s you and me and what I
want to feel from you is that you’ve got
my back you understand me and that when
you’re making decisions it’s not just
for you it’s for me as well and so a
rising tide floats all boats the
relationships that go wrong or sour is
if I’m on the side of this relationship
I’m like do I trust that he’s making
these thoughts or moves because it’s
right for him or me
and the thus our relationships are the
one where it’s really just good for you
and I’m just casualty in your in your
experience so what we do a head of time
is we invest in the relationship so for
example the Seattle Seahawks the product
is football so just like a business
you’ve got products for your businesses
as well and but we are relationship
based organization is if coach care was
here he’d say that’s how we run the
organization a relationship based
organization and the output is football
and that we found that to be incredibly
valuable because we don’t do none of us
do this thing alone and if we’re really
gonna go the distance and really step
into the frontier to do the amazingly
difficult challenging things we need to
lock arms to stay in the trenches long
enough and what happens for most people
is we lock arms we say oh yeah let’s go
get it and then we lock arms and as soon
as it’s hard the brain kicks in and it’s
the survival mechanisms in the brain are
stronger than the thriving mechanisms so
the survival mechanisms are very light
up and what do we do we save our own ass
and we unlock our arms and we take care
of ourselves that is how people fray in
rugged and stressful environments
emotionally stressful environments we
unlock and so the extraordinary able to
stay the course locked arms because
their mission minded they’ve they’re
really clear about what they want to
experience and they bet on each other
raise your standard value not one drop
of my self-worth depends on your it’s
something serene also if you want more
Mel Robbins check out the top fifty
rules video I did on here the link is
there right next to me I think you’ll
enjoy it continue to believe and I’ll
see you there our minds are designed to
stop you at all costs from doing anything that might hurt you
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