so here’s a little issue we have in
America today there are currently about
250,000 people a year who were dying in
our hospitals due to due to preventable
deaths and I’m not talking about
negligence I’m talking about little
accidents right I’m talking about the
doctor in the morning not properly
briefing the doctor for the evening you
know I’m talking about things that you
know we can’t sue anybody there’s
nothing there’s nothing that we can see
that’s wrong but there’s 250,000
preventable deaths every year that’s
about 20 747s going down every single
week that’s what’s the equivalent to and
the confusing thing is that we have the
best doctors in the world we have the
most advanced technology in the world
some of the medical equipment we have is
the best in the world the medicines we
have are the best in the world so you
start asking yourselves why are these
things happening and the reason is not
because of any of those things the
reasons are actually something vastly
more simple and something very very
human five percent of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for because what
we’ve done is we’ve created cultures and
hospitals where the people who are doing
the caring aren’t cared for and so all
of these little preventable deaths are
happening because they don’t feel like
they’re a part of anything they’re just
doing their jobs and they don’t get
along that well and there’s not a lot of
camaraderie and the impact is death
right now I use this example because
it’s exaggerated because the impact is
so powerful but the problem is the same
in our own companies right which is we
come to work and we’re told you must
care for your clients you must care for
your customers you must make
than the focus of all you do and yet why
aren’t the people who are managing us
from the top caring about us so yes in a
hospital the impact is worse but the
impact that we’re having on the outside
world is just as bad in other words
we’re not working at our best we don’t
care for the things we’re doing we’re
not helping each other is the most
important part and the residual impact
is that we are unfulfilled by the work
that we do and when we run fulfilled by
the work that we do we focus on the
details and when we focus on the details
we retract from each other when we track
from each other we feel lonely and when
we feel lonely cancer goes up heart
disease goes up diabetes goes up in
other words by going to work we’re
killing ourselves literally there’s
another study that was released not that
long ago that says that parents who work
late the negative impact that it has on
their children is little to none they
may feel guilty as parents but the
negative impact that it has on the
raising of their children is little to
none however parents who come home from
jobs they hate or don’t love their kids
are more likely to be bullies at school
and now you think about the bullying
epidemic we have in America right where
there’s this disturbing number of young
children who are killing themselves
suicides because of bullies the problem
is not the schools and the problem isn’t
even the parenting the problem is the
jobs the parents have this is the
importance and this is the power of the
work that we do in the places we go to
work right most of us mean like we
listen to the the the unemployment
statistics they say you know we’re
all-time high record high nine to ten
percent unemployment right and people go
Mike oh that’s terrible
and I hear that number and I go well
that means ninety-one percent still have
a job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent are still going to
work the question is how many of them
coming home fulfilled by the work that
they do and how many of them are waking
up inspired to go back to work the next
day if we don’t love our works we don’t
look out for each other if we don’t look
out for each other we feel lonely if we
don’t feel lonely all these negative
things happen so what example can I
share with a creative audience about how
to change this
the United States Marine Corps I had the
great honor last week of spending a week
with the Marines I spent a couple days
at Camp Lejeune and then I went for a
few days to Parris Island to watch them
go through boot camp and this isn’t a
room it’s a remarkable remarkable human
experiment that they’re doing and even
though they know what works they don’t
know why it works but they don’t need to
know why because they know that it works
right but what’s happening is they’re
taking a group of strangers people who
don’t know each other who were showing
up and within a very very short period
of time learn to trust each other so
much that they would give their lives
for each other right and we know
everyone sort of anyone who’s ever worn
a human reform knows that no one runs
into battle for God and country it
doesn’t happen it’s for the guy to the
left of me and the guy to the right of
me that’s the reason they do what they
do right and these sort of remarkable
stories of heroism where people rush
into very very dangerous situations to
save others and they always ask the
question why did you do it why would you
risk your life why would you put
yourself at risk for them and the answer
is always the same because they would do
it for me in other words what gives them
the confidence to put themselves at
great risk is the knowledge that someone
would do the same for them we would put
ourselves a great risk for our companies
if we knew that our companies would put
themselves a great risk for us but they
don’t so we don’t now one of the things
that’s remarkable about the Marines and
if you go read and you know this is the
most I asked these young and they’re 21
22 years old some of these of these
lance corporals the grunts you know the
guys the infantry I mean this is the
lowest of the low the ones we actually
send in to battle the frontlines and I
asked them are you misunderstood in
America and they said yes unanimously
they all nodded I said what what do
people think of you and one stood up and
says they think we’re baby killers I
said how does it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine tell me a story that
captures it and I expected to hear
stories of I took a hit and somebody
save me or I ran into a firefight and
pulled something I expected these
stories of heroism not a single story
like
came out and I’m sure those stories
exist but those aren’t that all the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine one of the
stories they told me was a young boy in
Afghanistan who would come around every
morning and sell kebabs to the Marines
and then one day he showed up and he was
all beaten up and he didn’t go to his
parents for help and he didn’t go to his
friends to help he came to the Marines
for help because he trusted them more
than anyone else they told me a story
that captured how they feel of a sevilla
CH that had been overrun by the Taliban
and the residents of the village could
couldn’t go home because they would be
killed by the Taliban and so they were
just living by the river the problem was
winter was coming and one of the the
elders came to the Marines knocked on
the door and said I need you to come
down to the river and kill us and the
Marine said what are you talking about
he says if we go back home we’ll be
killed by the Taliban and if we stay out
there we’re gonna die slow deaths this
winter it’s easier if you just come and
kill us please the Marines overran the
Taliban village pushed the Taliban out a
year later they went back to this
village and people were playing
volleyball these were the stories they
told me that capture what it means to be
a Marine they believed in doing good for
others and the fulfillment they get when
they put themselves at risk so that
others may prevail is overwhelming this
is not unique to the Marine Corps this
is all human beings the feeling of
fulfillment comes from doing something
for another the feeling from fulfillment
comes from the exertion of time and
energy for someone else if you are
walking to work and you throw a few
pennies in a cup and you come to work
and you say to your friends hey guys I
gave a dollar to somebody homeless this
morning what are your friends going to
say yeah good right I gave 20 bucks to
somebody homeless they’d be like yeah
good for you right what have you come in
in the morning you say hey I gave up my
Saturday and I went and paid missus
painted a school in the inner city
people go whoa cool wow cool and all of
a sudden not only are they inspired to
do something good themselves but the
feeling that that you have persists the
amazing thing is
when we do good for others it actually
inspires others to do good for others
this is provided for us prymatt
illogically anthropologically it’s a all
part of the survival of the species
you know sex feels good so that will do
it so we can procreate and perpetuate
the species but we’re social animals and
so we have to provide for the fact that
we’ll maintain strong bonds and build
cultures right because that’s what
humans do were cultural animals and so
when we do good for others and we look
out for those in our tribe we look out
for those in our group it actually feels
good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for others is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we’ve replaced this
feeling the exertion of time and energy
with digital communications we’ve
replaced it with headphones we’ve
replaced it with money right think about
the invention of money right it used to
be money you know used to be like you go
to someone’s house you cook them dinner
and the deal was they’ll do the dishes
time and energy exchange for time and
energy and someone said I’ll give you an
IOU right someone says I don’t feel like
doing the dishes so I’m gonna give you
an IOU that I promised to do them
another day right and that’s what money
is it is the promise for future goods or
services the promise of future goods and
services in other words we’ve replaced
our own time and energy with promises
for someone else to do it another day
right in other words there’s no exertion
of time and energy and so the feeling
people get is that I did something for
you and you did nothing for me
you replaced it with a piece of paper
with an eye are you with a promise for
future goods and services the way we
find fulfillment is by doing good for
others so how do the Marines or how do
you get people to do good for others we
all know this intellectually we know
that it’s good to do good for others but
why don’t we do it then why don’t we do
it and what the Marines learned is
something that I completely did not
expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first so we all heard of the
obstacle course right the Marines have a
thing called the obstacle course and
this is where they they build an aerobic
strength and aerobic strength muscle
strength and it’s timed and all of this
good stuff
they have another course called the
confidence course and it’s never timed
and most of the obstacles on this course
cannot be completed by yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice
that’s just how it’s designed and what
they say is the first two weeks of boot
camp everybody is there to outdo each
other and prove that they’re strong just
kind of like when we start in a job with
proof we want to show how great we are
we’ll work a little hard it will do good
work look how good my design is right
it’s all about us and how good we are
right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do but
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long
you see them organically start helping
each other and what happens is if
there’s one person who’s weak and
refuses to help each other the others or
even if there’s one person who’s strong
who’s you know I was the star college
athlete and they get to every the end of
every obstacle they just stand there and
wait for everybody to finish and they
don’t help each other what starts to
happen as organically the group starts
to ostracize that person organically
they get ostracized until they learn
that the only way that they will get
through this thing the only way they
will survive boot camp is if they ask
for help because they have no option the
problem is no one will help them until
they’re willing to help another it’s the
deal we have to make it’s called
vulnerability and risk we have to take
the risk
to make ourselves vulnerable yes you
might do something for someone else and
they may not do something back for you
that’s the risk you run that’s the risk
you run it’s not about it’s not about
giving everything to them and and sort
of huge big overwhelming risk it’s about
little things and little things it’s
like going on a date right it’s like if
I went on a date with somebody I came
home and I said after one date I said
I’m marrying her people like what are
you nuts I’ll be like I’m in love
they’re like what your this is crazy I’m
like I know I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts right now you know that you’re
gonna be like go on a couple more dates
right we know instinctively that the
strong bond
that’s create that that needs to be
created first takes more than a week
right we know that right but if I’ve
been dating somebody for seven years and
we haven’t you know married you’ll be
like dude what is wrong right in other
words we know that it takes more than
seven days and we know that it takes
less than seven years the problem is we
don’t know how long it takes somewhere
in the middle all human buns are the
same like when you show up at work when
you show for the first time when you’re
new don’t expect that people will look
out for you and they won’t expect you to
look out for them in seven days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the UH identity that the sort
of the absolute confidence that if you
turn your back you will not get stabbed
you can rely on somebody who can give
them something nothing will go wrong
you will share the credit no one will
throw you under the bus if you don’t
have that in a few years something’s
wrong something’s wrong I don’t know how
long it takes but I know that’s more
than a week and I know it’s less than
seven years and the Marines
fundamentally understand that before
anyone is willing to put themselves out
for another they have to have
self-confidence real self confidence you
have to be confident in yourself and
your own ability before you’re willing
to help another if you’re insecure at
all about your own ability it’s an oxy
it’s sort of a paradox right how am I
can I overcome my confidence you know my
self-confidence and we all have ego
issues at all times you know we all do
right but if I’m not confident myself I
won’t help another it’s a paradox
because then we need someone to look out
for us before we’re willing to help our
peers right this is what management is
supposed to do the drill instructors the
school they are they’re our parents they
are there for one reason and one reason
only to help us feel strong and good
about ourselves but look at the way we
talk to each other they look at look
look a budgets been cut and so what do
you get told I need you guys to do more
with less right that’s what we’re told
hey guys I need you guys to do more with
less that’s we’re told by our clients by
our bosses by our parents this is what
we’re told right that’s like your
parents telling you when you’re young
I know you’re stupid figure it out right
you’re not as smart as the other kids
what do you want me to do right it’s the
exact same thing I need you to do more
with less
right what we need to be telling people
is I need you I need you to do more with
what you have right you have capacity
you have strength you have talent you
have compatibility I need you to do more
with what you have we don’t celebrate
what we’ve got we criticize for what we
don’t have this is the responsibility of
management to take us under their wing
and help us understand our own value to
ourselves close your eyes and think back
to high school and think of that one
teacher who took you under their wing
and cared for you and looked after you
and helped you realize that you are
capable of more than you thought you
were and you and you you probably are
the person you are today in some part
because of that person right do you have
that name what’s the name tell me the
name tell me the name of the teacher
okay give me the name okay I can point
to anybody and you can tell me that name
now tell me the names of all the other
teachers you had that day can’t remember
them can you
this is the power of those who teaches
confidence we will literally carry their
names around with us for the rest of our
lives wouldn’t you want to be that
person wouldn’t you want to be the
person that 20 years from now 30 years
from now 40 years from now I can do this
exercise with somebody and they will
tell me your name this is the power of
helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that
is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow the you carriage them to get
back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figure it out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
into others responsibility to help you
find yours and the amazing thing is as
soon as you start feeling confident in
your own ability you naturally help each
other that’s what happens it’s called
trust in the military they give medals
to people who are willing to sacrifice
themselves so that others may gain in
business we are willing to give bonuses
to people who will sacrifice others so
that we may gain we have it backwards
and then we complain about how we don’t
love our jobs and we complain about how
the work is suffering and we complain
about how budgets are being cut and we
can complain and complain and complain
and the first thing we do is blame each
other and become more selfish and
worried about my pay and my benefits in
my this and this is what happens when we
are unfulfilled we look at the metrics
and we say they’re not good enough when
we are fulfilled we don’t care about the
metrics this is why when you have a job
you love and you get a call that says
I’ll offer you tons more money and great
benefits you like I’m not interested I’m
not interested I I’m not interested I’m
very happy here but we’ll give you more
that’s not the reason I’m here I’m here
because I love it I’m here because I
care for the people I work with and I’m
here because the people I work with care
for me this is the world I imagine this
is the world I imagine and here’s the
great thing if you take little risks I’m
not talking about big things little
things if you start doing little things
for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he was walking down
the street and I happened to be behind
him and so my friend and I just sort of
we were in mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stopped
talking we just bent down sort of helped
him gather his papers and them back to
him sort of pointed out that his bet
book bag was his you know
pack was unzipped and he said thanks and
we walked on it was like no big deal
right we get to the end of the the
street we stand at that we’re waiting it
to cross the street we still talking we
haven’t stopped talking and the guy in
front of us turns to us and says I saw
but here’s what’s great about that the
guy will go do something for someone
else simply because he saw us bend down
and pick up paper for someone else he
will actually go do something for
someone else because of it right he he
won’t give to charity because he sees me
put a dollar in a cup but he will
actually help someone because he saw
someone also helps someone little things
hold a door open for someone say thank
you to the person hold the door open for
you smile to the barista little little
things you know put your foot in the
subway when the door is closing so
someone who’s running will make it hit
the open at the elevator don’t go or
pretend you didn’t see that’s the best
one you know I saw sorry all right do it
a little time and a little energy and
you’ll find around work that people give
a little time and a little energy back
to you and you’ll give a little more
time and a little more energy you go for
a coffee with someone then you go for a
two-hour coffee and you go for a coffee
and a lunch then you go for a lunch and
a dinner then you go for a dinner in a
movie and then you sleep over and then
you sleep over two nights and then you
go on holiday together and eventually
you get married right it’s slow it takes
time and we can’t rush it you know if
when we rush it it’s all fake do things
for others and watch watch how much
others do for you but you know go you go
get yourself a cup of coffee from the
coffee sheet machine in the morning make
one for someone else it takes a little
extra time it takes a little extra
energy that’s the point that’s the point
and here’s the best part you will feel
so good at the end of the day so good
thank you it’s a great question how do
you convince someone how do you know
sort of the metrics how do you convince
a skeptical audience of this trust
metric you don’t you don’t write you
can’t twist anybody’s arm to do
something that they don’t want to do and
you know the law of diffusion which I
obey you know as hard as as much as I
can which is you don’t need the majority
you need those people who believe what
you believe in other words if you buy if
you you know when you go sort of when
you do some nice things for people they
may not do something nice back because
they may be you know we live in a world
in which you do something for somebody
they think you want something from them
right that’s unfortunately the society
we’ve created but but that’s the risk
that we keep taking I’m not saying you
should keep doing it for somebody who
keeps doing nothing and keeps sort of
you know crapping on you because of it
then at some point you have to be like
all right my bad my bad
right and you back off you know I don’t
believe in helping everyone I do not
believe in it right this is not you know
let’s do good for everyone in the planet
that’s not what I’m talking about
mother Teresa who’s the poster child for
giving selflessly to all who need at the
end of her life started question the
existence of God and by the way hated
her life serious okay in other words
giving to others unabashedly is actually
self-destructive it doesn’t help right
and it’s just like going on dates with
people you don’t like doesn’t mean
there’s there’s only one machine that I
found that really accurately measures
trust better than any other sort of
metric it’s called a human being it’s
really good at it
right and so those feelings you get
trust them and one way or the other you
know it’s it’s the little risks it’s the
butterflies it’s the unsure you know
it’s the it’s the backwards it’s the
dance
it’s dating it’s the dance it’s the
nerves like I you know it’s that so if
there if there are cynical bastards at
your office who or who don’t get it you
cannot ignore him don’t worry about it
because eventually you’ll get enough and
those people either come along or leave
or be pushed out you know ostracized
remember when the group starts helping
each other they
sighs the ones who refuse to help
whether they’re stronger whether they’re
weak they get ostracized until they
learn until they learn that they cannot
survive without the help of others and
they learn that the only way others will
help them is if they if they help the
others right the order matters the order
matters I’ll just I just thought of
something that that’s sort of we which
is pervasive in our sort of you know
digital world the order matters you know
so to speak honestly about what you want
right if you are doing don’t do things
for people when you want something from
them just ask them what you want from
them and I’ll give you one little
example it’s a funny little example
we’ve all received emails that go like
this dear Simon well you wouldn’t get an
email to your assignment but I dear
insert your name right dear Simon
haven’t seen you in years
hope you’re well congratulations on all
you’ve been doing it’s really amazing we
should get coffee sometime if you could
do me a favor I’m if you could vote for
me on this website I’m hoping to win you
know some thousand dollar prize for my
design blah blah blah
hope you’re well talk to you soon Kenny
right we’ve all received an email like
that and how do we respond to it right
now what happens if you get the same
email that goes like this dear Simon I’m
hoping you could vote for me on this
website I’m trying to win some thousand
dollar prize for my design I haven’t
seen you in years I hope you’re really
well congratulations on all that you’ve
been doing we should get a coffee
sometime thanks Kenny
totally different in other words when we
know why you’re emailing and it comes
first it has a remarkable impact we know
that all those pleasantries are just
buttering us up to get to what they want
right but if you come right out with
what you want we’re actually very
grateful for the pleasantries right it’s
the same thing in human interaction
don’t give someone a cup of coffee if
you need a favor back just ask them for
the favor it builds trust I can’t trust
you every time you do something nice for
me I think you just something what you
want something from me I won’t trust you
and this is what companies do to us
right well we did this for you why won’t
you do this for us
that’s not how it works generosity
bending down to pick up the papers
holding the door open for someone is
expecting nothing in return ever you do
not give you know this is what happens
in new business right we new business is
built on relationships and so we build
the relationship build the relationship
build a relationship until we’re
comfortable to ask for the business in
other words you were only befriending me
till the point you felt that I would let
down my guard and you could ask me for
something the whole time you were just
waiting for that time it doesn’t work
that way
if you actually want to build
relationships you build relationships
without wanting anything and that’s how
you build trust you want to know why the
Marines gave me this incredible access I
mean literally they said Simon anything
you want to see you got it anything you
want to do you got it you can go ahead
we went past sign that said no observers
no civilians beyond this point I’m like
can I take pictures like go ahead you
should see some of the pictures they’re
unbelievable right I’m like right in
there Marines coming at me we went out
to the crucible and roll like you know
they’re like rolling in the dirt and
like you know going onto barbed wire and
I’m not joking either they’re like you
know unprecedented access access that
journalists would be jealous of do you
know why they gave it to me because in
all the time that I’ve been visiting
with Marines and having meetings with
them I’ve never asked for anything I
don’t want anything and I don’t have
anything to sell
I just keep showing up and say what do
you need how can I help and at some
point they said when I called and said I
need a little favor because they know I
haven’t been waiting for the favor it’s
the time now that I have a little favor
they go absolutely whatever you need
it’s called human relationships
companies don’t do business with
companies people do business with people
you know your company didn’t win IBM as
a client somebody who likes somebody
said will hire you and if they didn’t
like you they’re just you know they’re
doing they’re playing roulette while
we’re betting that you know this will
work out those are the weak
relationships yes
[Music]
the more we give the more it inspires
others to give but the more selfish we
are the more others become selfish
around us and so those are organizations
in which selfish behavior perfect
prevails and so we see the residual
effect which is they make decisions that
ultimately screw us they destroy our
economy because of their selfish
behavior right we know this is what what
what happens same in politics right and
the answer is don’t worry about it I
know it sounds silly I need you out you
mean your first question is do I talk
about these things to them I will talk
to anyone who will listen you know but I
don’t talk to people who don’t want to
listen the good news is there are some
good eggs and there are some of them
who’ve had conversions where they were
the bastards who believed in firing
people and screwing people to advance
their careers and something happens I
just met a guy recently he was a very
senior executive at very very large
company and something happened and he
like he got like hit in the head or
something and he realized holy cow I
have to look after people right and they
become obsessed with it and they start
sticking their necks out and and we just
need those champions scattered around
and this is what I do the more I spread
this message the more it’s sort of it’s
it’s kind of like um you know in the
cartoons is sort of the whole of justice
you know the
the message goes out they all sort of
like you know wherever they are like you
know that they poke their heads up it’s
that kind of thing the more we talk
about it the more we put it in our work
you know because don’t forget you’re
gonna help someone who goes home feeling
good and their husband or their wife
works in the bank and they’re gonna talk
how much about they’d love to and that
might inspire that person you know it’s
it has all of these residual impacts
that we don’t really know this is the
funny thing about the internet which is
we’re so proud of the internet that we
can measure everything no you can’t you
can only measure one layer right so for
example you say Simon what’s the impact
you’re having I don’t know is the answer
right I know it’s it’s I know that it’ll
take more than a week and I will take
seven years but I don’t know when it’s
gonna happen and I don’t know how it’s
gonna get there right all I can do is is
do it right but I have no clue how we’ll
win and so for example I can measure
book sales and I can measure how many
hits and I can measure how many people
watched a TED talk and all of this but I
can’t measure you know that TED talk
being shown to a room of 50 people and
one of those 50 people doesn’t buy a
book doesn’t watch a TED talk doesn’t do
anything but goes out and does something
good for somebody else I have no way of
measuring that and so we’re so proud of
the internet and its ability to measure
everything but we’re measuring one layer
where we used to measure no layers it’s
like you know this is how people work
it’s it’s it’s gossamer you know it’s
networked and so the answer is don’t
worry about them don’t worry about them
worry about the people who you can care
for who you can give to and when we
reach a critical mass in society it will
tip right and if you don’t believe me
the reason it is the way it is now is
because it tipped the wrong way there
was no such thing as massive layoffs as
business strategy prior to night in the
1980s it just wasn’t done it was done
here and there but it wasn’t strategy
the idea of using layoffs to balance the
books is a relatively new phenomenon
that came for the increase of
selfishness in the Gordon Gekko greta’s
good 1980s boom right and this was also
the same exact period the 1980s where
the theory the theory of shareholder
value was put forwards right because
they had all these people buying large
companies and installing professional
managers to run the companies that they
bought that they invested in and they
had a problem which is those
professional managers were paid for by
the company and those professional
managers cared for the employees and the
customers and so the investor said how
do we protect our
we’ve got an idea we’re gonna give them
equity in the company and bonus them
based on the performance right and so
the shift happened where the CEOs
started caring more about the investors
and stopped caring about the customers
and employees those were theories
introduced by some Harvard professor in
the 1980s we can push it back the other
way right we can push it back the other
way but we just have to and there’s just
there’s a there was a just the other day
which company was it one of the large
banks where the shareholders citibank
citibank yeah citibank the shareholders
voted majority shareholders voted
against a fat pay package that’s
unprecedented it has never happened even
in hard times even when the company’s
doing this the shareholders just it’s
just sort of a cursory thing where they
approve the fifteen million dollar bonus
for the CEO they voted against it it’s
non-binding
but it sends a shot across the bow
saying shareholders now want you to be
bonused if you do something good for
all right the point is is that it’s it’s
starting to crack and so let’s just
stick our finger in the crack you know
make sure that it keeps cracking it’s
one one way we can swing it back the
question was can I talk about
celebrating accomplishment while still
asking for more right tutu
so so they did a study on kids who are
really really smart like an older gifted
classes why is it when you smart you’re
gifted when you’re stupid you’re special
why is that I was told my whole life I
was special
I never gifted they took the gifted kids
who were constantly told you’re so good
oh thanks but I knew you’d do well oh
you’re the you’re our best employee you
know you’re our best student you’re
awesome
right and what happens is later in life
they actually suffer because they’re
very afraid of taking risk because
they’re very afraid of losing their
position on the mantle okay kids who are
sort of more average who constantly are
rewarded not for their accomplishment
but for their effort great effort really
proud of the improvement you made what
they find is they do very well in life
because there’s no shelf there’s always
more there’s more effort right and so
you want to reward and acknowledge
effort even if they don’t hit the goal
it’s that the Delta but at the same time
if it goes backwards you’d be like dude
what’s going on it’s like we don’t get
we shouldn’t be giving ribbons for
everyone who competes right because what
we’re teaching people is if you do
nothing you get a medal right and the
funny thing is is we start with creating
a generation that’s feeling very Hollow
and feeling you know this sense of
entitlement that people complain about
gen-y the entitlement is I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything and the
funny thing is about human beings is we
we the way we feel accomplished is when
we exert energy and time and reach a
destination right and the more energy
and time that we have to suffer through
especially if we suffer together and we
get somewhere it is overwhelming think
about the best jobs you’ve ever worked
on was it the best design was it the
best results that the company
because of your your project or was it
an absolute hell project that you work
together and you came out on the other
end and that you got it done at the
deadline and you’re like that was
amazing it was the hell projects it was
the things that we had to go out of our
ways more do things for each other right
things we weren’t thinking of doing I
was wrapping packages I was doing stuff
that aren’t designers aren’t supposed to
do going you know this is what produces
that right and so the the the the the
thing is about measurement and
destination reward imagine we’re
standing in a big empty room right and
we’re standing in one corner and I give
you a simple instruction I want you to
go to that corner in a straight line
right I figure out no big deal right
without telling you I slip a chair in
front of you what do you do you go
around the chair
now you just disobeyed what I told you
to do I told you to go to that corner
straight line but this is the amazing
things about human beings which is when
we’re given a clear destination we use
our own creativity and our own sense of
innovation and our own problem-solving
abilities to overcome obstacles to get
to the destination in other words the
destination is more important than the
route right we are flexible about the
route we’re obsessed with the
destination reset we’re standing in the
corner together and I give you a simple
instruction go somewhere in this room in
a straight line and you say to me well
where do you owe me to go I’m like I
don’t know you smart figure it out go in
a straight line and so you pick a point
and you start walking and without
telling you I put a chair in front of
you and what do you do you come to a
grinding halt I say what did you stop
for you go will you put a chair in front
of me or you’ll make a sudden turn and
go in another direction right and this
is the problem it’s the same obstacle
the difference is when you have a clear
set a clear destination the obstacles
become easy to overcome when you don’t
have a clear destination you keep coming
to a grinding halt and what we do in our
companies is we’re counting the steps
we’re taking along the route but we’re
never looking at the destination right
so company says made in million dollars
this year we were only planning on
making eight hundred thousand like we
took ten steps were only planning on
taking eight where are you going no clue
right we count the steps and so the
point is is that people want to feel
that the effort that they’re exerting
actually are moving somewhere and so
successful measurement successful
recognition is not just for the steps
you take it’s not just for the effort
it’s that the effort you exerted moved
us closer to where we’re trying to get
to and that get to should be some crazy
ideal my ideal is to live in a world in
which the vast majority of people wake
up every single morning
you know inspire to go to work and
fulfilled by the work that they do and
the the couple of measurements that I
use are if the book is selling and I by
the way people ask me how many have you
sold I have no clue I’ve never asked the
publisher because they don’t care I
really don’t care how many I’ve sold
what I care about is the Amazon rankings
and that those are going steady or up
and not plummeting because that means
other people right because I don’t have
a publicist I don’t have a marketing
strategy on purpose I didn’t hire one of
those companies to sell the book for me
and the reason is is because I’m not
interested in book sales I’m interested
in spreading an idea and so I just use
that as a metric to help me understand
am I sort of marching in that because
the more I preach is it resonating you
know and so you have a couple of these
imperfect measurements that help you
understand are you going along the way
so it’s not just great effort look what
you achieved because that’s what we’re
doing now right our goal is to increase
top-line revenues by 50 million dollars
for what reason right
which is we have to know the destination
and then we say amazing you took us that
much closer and if we go to the right
it’s because we were overcoming an
obstacle if we hadn’t gone to the right
we would have been stuck forever thank
you you know it’s not always straight
lines it’s not always straight lines but
it’s it’s in one direction she’s pulling
the cane out thank you very very much [Applause]
America today there are currently about
250,000 people a year who were dying in
our hospitals due to due to preventable
deaths and I’m not talking about
negligence I’m talking about little
accidents right I’m talking about the
doctor in the morning not properly
briefing the doctor for the evening you
know I’m talking about things that you
know we can’t sue anybody there’s
nothing there’s nothing that we can see
that’s wrong but there’s 250,000
preventable deaths every year that’s
about 20 747s going down every single
week that’s what’s the equivalent to and
the confusing thing is that we have the
best doctors in the world we have the
most advanced technology in the world
some of the medical equipment we have is
the best in the world the medicines we
have are the best in the world so you
start asking yourselves why are these
things happening and the reason is not
because of any of those things the
reasons are actually something vastly
more simple and something very very
human five percent of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for because what
we’ve done is we’ve created cultures and
hospitals where the people who are doing
the caring aren’t cared for and so all
of these little preventable deaths are
happening because they don’t feel like
they’re a part of anything they’re just
doing their jobs and they don’t get
along that well and there’s not a lot of
camaraderie and the impact is death
right now I use this example because
it’s exaggerated because the impact is
so powerful but the problem is the same
in our own companies right which is we
come to work and we’re told you must
care for your clients you must care for
your customers you must make
than the focus of all you do and yet why
aren’t the people who are managing us
from the top caring about us so yes in a
hospital the impact is worse but the
impact that we’re having on the outside
world is just as bad in other words
we’re not working at our best we don’t
care for the things we’re doing we’re
not helping each other is the most
important part and the residual impact
is that we are unfulfilled by the work
that we do and when we run fulfilled by
the work that we do we focus on the
details and when we focus on the details
we retract from each other when we track
from each other we feel lonely and when
we feel lonely cancer goes up heart
disease goes up diabetes goes up in
other words by going to work we’re
killing ourselves literally there’s
another study that was released not that
long ago that says that parents who work
late the negative impact that it has on
their children is little to none they
may feel guilty as parents but the
negative impact that it has on the
raising of their children is little to
none however parents who come home from
jobs they hate or don’t love their kids
are more likely to be bullies at school
and now you think about the bullying
epidemic we have in America right where
there’s this disturbing number of young
children who are killing themselves
suicides because of bullies the problem
is not the schools and the problem isn’t
even the parenting the problem is the
jobs the parents have this is the
importance and this is the power of the
work that we do in the places we go to
work right most of us mean like we
listen to the the the unemployment
statistics they say you know we’re
all-time high record high nine to ten
percent unemployment right and people go
Mike oh that’s terrible
and I hear that number and I go well
that means ninety-one percent still have
a job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent are still going to
work the question is how many of them
coming home fulfilled by the work that
they do and how many of them are waking
up inspired to go back to work the next
day if we don’t love our works we don’t
look out for each other if we don’t look
out for each other we feel lonely if we
don’t feel lonely all these negative
things happen so what example can I
share with a creative audience about how
to change this
the United States Marine Corps I had the
great honor last week of spending a week
with the Marines I spent a couple days
at Camp Lejeune and then I went for a
few days to Parris Island to watch them
go through boot camp and this isn’t a
room it’s a remarkable remarkable human
experiment that they’re doing and even
though they know what works they don’t
know why it works but they don’t need to
know why because they know that it works
right but what’s happening is they’re
taking a group of strangers people who
don’t know each other who were showing
up and within a very very short period
of time learn to trust each other so
much that they would give their lives
for each other right and we know
everyone sort of anyone who’s ever worn
a human reform knows that no one runs
into battle for God and country it
doesn’t happen it’s for the guy to the
left of me and the guy to the right of
me that’s the reason they do what they
do right and these sort of remarkable
stories of heroism where people rush
into very very dangerous situations to
save others and they always ask the
question why did you do it why would you
risk your life why would you put
yourself at risk for them and the answer
is always the same because they would do
it for me in other words what gives them
the confidence to put themselves at
great risk is the knowledge that someone
would do the same for them we would put
ourselves a great risk for our companies
if we knew that our companies would put
themselves a great risk for us but they
don’t so we don’t now one of the things
that’s remarkable about the Marines and
if you go read and you know this is the
most I asked these young and they’re 21
22 years old some of these of these
lance corporals the grunts you know the
guys the infantry I mean this is the
lowest of the low the ones we actually
send in to battle the frontlines and I
asked them are you misunderstood in
America and they said yes unanimously
they all nodded I said what what do
people think of you and one stood up and
says they think we’re baby killers I
said how does it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine tell me a story that
captures it and I expected to hear
stories of I took a hit and somebody
save me or I ran into a firefight and
pulled something I expected these
stories of heroism not a single story
like
came out and I’m sure those stories
exist but those aren’t that all the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine one of the
stories they told me was a young boy in
Afghanistan who would come around every
morning and sell kebabs to the Marines
and then one day he showed up and he was
all beaten up and he didn’t go to his
parents for help and he didn’t go to his
friends to help he came to the Marines
for help because he trusted them more
than anyone else they told me a story
that captured how they feel of a sevilla
CH that had been overrun by the Taliban
and the residents of the village could
couldn’t go home because they would be
killed by the Taliban and so they were
just living by the river the problem was
winter was coming and one of the the
elders came to the Marines knocked on
the door and said I need you to come
down to the river and kill us and the
Marine said what are you talking about
he says if we go back home we’ll be
killed by the Taliban and if we stay out
there we’re gonna die slow deaths this
winter it’s easier if you just come and
kill us please the Marines overran the
Taliban village pushed the Taliban out a
year later they went back to this
village and people were playing
volleyball these were the stories they
told me that capture what it means to be
a Marine they believed in doing good for
others and the fulfillment they get when
they put themselves at risk so that
others may prevail is overwhelming this
is not unique to the Marine Corps this
is all human beings the feeling of
fulfillment comes from doing something
for another the feeling from fulfillment
comes from the exertion of time and
energy for someone else if you are
walking to work and you throw a few
pennies in a cup and you come to work
and you say to your friends hey guys I
gave a dollar to somebody homeless this
morning what are your friends going to
say yeah good right I gave 20 bucks to
somebody homeless they’d be like yeah
good for you right what have you come in
in the morning you say hey I gave up my
Saturday and I went and paid missus
painted a school in the inner city
people go whoa cool wow cool and all of
a sudden not only are they inspired to
do something good themselves but the
feeling that that you have persists the
amazing thing is
when we do good for others it actually
inspires others to do good for others
this is provided for us prymatt
illogically anthropologically it’s a all
part of the survival of the species
you know sex feels good so that will do
it so we can procreate and perpetuate
the species but we’re social animals and
so we have to provide for the fact that
we’ll maintain strong bonds and build
cultures right because that’s what
humans do were cultural animals and so
when we do good for others and we look
out for those in our tribe we look out
for those in our group it actually feels
good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for others is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we’ve replaced this
feeling the exertion of time and energy
with digital communications we’ve
replaced it with headphones we’ve
replaced it with money right think about
the invention of money right it used to
be money you know used to be like you go
to someone’s house you cook them dinner
and the deal was they’ll do the dishes
time and energy exchange for time and
energy and someone said I’ll give you an
IOU right someone says I don’t feel like
doing the dishes so I’m gonna give you
an IOU that I promised to do them
another day right and that’s what money
is it is the promise for future goods or
services the promise of future goods and
services in other words we’ve replaced
our own time and energy with promises
for someone else to do it another day
right in other words there’s no exertion
of time and energy and so the feeling
people get is that I did something for
you and you did nothing for me
you replaced it with a piece of paper
with an eye are you with a promise for
future goods and services the way we
find fulfillment is by doing good for
others so how do the Marines or how do
you get people to do good for others we
all know this intellectually we know
that it’s good to do good for others but
why don’t we do it then why don’t we do
it and what the Marines learned is
something that I completely did not
expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first so we all heard of the
obstacle course right the Marines have a
thing called the obstacle course and
this is where they they build an aerobic
strength and aerobic strength muscle
strength and it’s timed and all of this
good stuff
they have another course called the
confidence course and it’s never timed
and most of the obstacles on this course
cannot be completed by yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice
that’s just how it’s designed and what
they say is the first two weeks of boot
camp everybody is there to outdo each
other and prove that they’re strong just
kind of like when we start in a job with
proof we want to show how great we are
we’ll work a little hard it will do good
work look how good my design is right
it’s all about us and how good we are
right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do but
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long
you see them organically start helping
each other and what happens is if
there’s one person who’s weak and
refuses to help each other the others or
even if there’s one person who’s strong
who’s you know I was the star college
athlete and they get to every the end of
every obstacle they just stand there and
wait for everybody to finish and they
don’t help each other what starts to
happen as organically the group starts
to ostracize that person organically
they get ostracized until they learn
that the only way that they will get
through this thing the only way they
will survive boot camp is if they ask
for help because they have no option the
problem is no one will help them until
they’re willing to help another it’s the
deal we have to make it’s called
vulnerability and risk we have to take
the risk
to make ourselves vulnerable yes you
might do something for someone else and
they may not do something back for you
that’s the risk you run that’s the risk
you run it’s not about it’s not about
giving everything to them and and sort
of huge big overwhelming risk it’s about
little things and little things it’s
like going on a date right it’s like if
I went on a date with somebody I came
home and I said after one date I said
I’m marrying her people like what are
you nuts I’ll be like I’m in love
they’re like what your this is crazy I’m
like I know I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts right now you know that you’re
gonna be like go on a couple more dates
right we know instinctively that the
strong bond
that’s create that that needs to be
created first takes more than a week
right we know that right but if I’ve
been dating somebody for seven years and
we haven’t you know married you’ll be
like dude what is wrong right in other
words we know that it takes more than
seven days and we know that it takes
less than seven years the problem is we
don’t know how long it takes somewhere
in the middle all human buns are the
same like when you show up at work when
you show for the first time when you’re
new don’t expect that people will look
out for you and they won’t expect you to
look out for them in seven days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the UH identity that the sort
of the absolute confidence that if you
turn your back you will not get stabbed
you can rely on somebody who can give
them something nothing will go wrong
you will share the credit no one will
throw you under the bus if you don’t
have that in a few years something’s
wrong something’s wrong I don’t know how
long it takes but I know that’s more
than a week and I know it’s less than
seven years and the Marines
fundamentally understand that before
anyone is willing to put themselves out
for another they have to have
self-confidence real self confidence you
have to be confident in yourself and
your own ability before you’re willing
to help another if you’re insecure at
all about your own ability it’s an oxy
it’s sort of a paradox right how am I
can I overcome my confidence you know my
self-confidence and we all have ego
issues at all times you know we all do
right but if I’m not confident myself I
won’t help another it’s a paradox
because then we need someone to look out
for us before we’re willing to help our
peers right this is what management is
supposed to do the drill instructors the
school they are they’re our parents they
are there for one reason and one reason
only to help us feel strong and good
about ourselves but look at the way we
talk to each other they look at look
look a budgets been cut and so what do
you get told I need you guys to do more
with less right that’s what we’re told
hey guys I need you guys to do more with
less that’s we’re told by our clients by
our bosses by our parents this is what
we’re told right that’s like your
parents telling you when you’re young
I know you’re stupid figure it out right
you’re not as smart as the other kids
what do you want me to do right it’s the
exact same thing I need you to do more
with less
right what we need to be telling people
is I need you I need you to do more with
what you have right you have capacity
you have strength you have talent you
have compatibility I need you to do more
with what you have we don’t celebrate
what we’ve got we criticize for what we
don’t have this is the responsibility of
management to take us under their wing
and help us understand our own value to
ourselves close your eyes and think back
to high school and think of that one
teacher who took you under their wing
and cared for you and looked after you
and helped you realize that you are
capable of more than you thought you
were and you and you you probably are
the person you are today in some part
because of that person right do you have
that name what’s the name tell me the
name tell me the name of the teacher
okay give me the name okay I can point
to anybody and you can tell me that name
now tell me the names of all the other
teachers you had that day can’t remember
them can you
this is the power of those who teaches
confidence we will literally carry their
names around with us for the rest of our
lives wouldn’t you want to be that
person wouldn’t you want to be the
person that 20 years from now 30 years
from now 40 years from now I can do this
exercise with somebody and they will
tell me your name this is the power of
helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that
is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow the you carriage them to get
back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figure it out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
into others responsibility to help you
find yours and the amazing thing is as
soon as you start feeling confident in
your own ability you naturally help each
other that’s what happens it’s called
trust in the military they give medals
to people who are willing to sacrifice
themselves so that others may gain in
business we are willing to give bonuses
to people who will sacrifice others so
that we may gain we have it backwards
and then we complain about how we don’t
love our jobs and we complain about how
the work is suffering and we complain
about how budgets are being cut and we
can complain and complain and complain
and the first thing we do is blame each
other and become more selfish and
worried about my pay and my benefits in
my this and this is what happens when we
are unfulfilled we look at the metrics
and we say they’re not good enough when
we are fulfilled we don’t care about the
metrics this is why when you have a job
you love and you get a call that says
I’ll offer you tons more money and great
benefits you like I’m not interested I’m
not interested I I’m not interested I’m
very happy here but we’ll give you more
that’s not the reason I’m here I’m here
because I love it I’m here because I
care for the people I work with and I’m
here because the people I work with care
for me this is the world I imagine this
is the world I imagine and here’s the
great thing if you take little risks I’m
not talking about big things little
things if you start doing little things
for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he was walking down
the street and I happened to be behind
him and so my friend and I just sort of
we were in mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stopped
talking we just bent down sort of helped
him gather his papers and them back to
him sort of pointed out that his bet
book bag was his you know
pack was unzipped and he said thanks and
we walked on it was like no big deal
right we get to the end of the the
street we stand at that we’re waiting it
to cross the street we still talking we
haven’t stopped talking and the guy in
front of us turns to us and says I saw
but here’s what’s great about that the
guy will go do something for someone
else simply because he saw us bend down
and pick up paper for someone else he
will actually go do something for
someone else because of it right he he
won’t give to charity because he sees me
put a dollar in a cup but he will
actually help someone because he saw
someone also helps someone little things
hold a door open for someone say thank
you to the person hold the door open for
you smile to the barista little little
things you know put your foot in the
subway when the door is closing so
someone who’s running will make it hit
the open at the elevator don’t go or
pretend you didn’t see that’s the best
one you know I saw sorry all right do it
a little time and a little energy and
you’ll find around work that people give
a little time and a little energy back
to you and you’ll give a little more
time and a little more energy you go for
a coffee with someone then you go for a
two-hour coffee and you go for a coffee
and a lunch then you go for a lunch and
a dinner then you go for a dinner in a
movie and then you sleep over and then
you sleep over two nights and then you
go on holiday together and eventually
you get married right it’s slow it takes
time and we can’t rush it you know if
when we rush it it’s all fake do things
for others and watch watch how much
others do for you but you know go you go
get yourself a cup of coffee from the
coffee sheet machine in the morning make
one for someone else it takes a little
extra time it takes a little extra
energy that’s the point that’s the point
and here’s the best part you will feel
so good at the end of the day so good
thank you it’s a great question how do
you convince someone how do you know
sort of the metrics how do you convince
a skeptical audience of this trust
metric you don’t you don’t write you
can’t twist anybody’s arm to do
something that they don’t want to do and
you know the law of diffusion which I
obey you know as hard as as much as I
can which is you don’t need the majority
you need those people who believe what
you believe in other words if you buy if
you you know when you go sort of when
you do some nice things for people they
may not do something nice back because
they may be you know we live in a world
in which you do something for somebody
they think you want something from them
right that’s unfortunately the society
we’ve created but but that’s the risk
that we keep taking I’m not saying you
should keep doing it for somebody who
keeps doing nothing and keeps sort of
you know crapping on you because of it
then at some point you have to be like
all right my bad my bad
right and you back off you know I don’t
believe in helping everyone I do not
believe in it right this is not you know
let’s do good for everyone in the planet
that’s not what I’m talking about
mother Teresa who’s the poster child for
giving selflessly to all who need at the
end of her life started question the
existence of God and by the way hated
her life serious okay in other words
giving to others unabashedly is actually
self-destructive it doesn’t help right
and it’s just like going on dates with
people you don’t like doesn’t mean
there’s there’s only one machine that I
found that really accurately measures
trust better than any other sort of
metric it’s called a human being it’s
really good at it
right and so those feelings you get
trust them and one way or the other you
know it’s it’s the little risks it’s the
butterflies it’s the unsure you know
it’s the it’s the backwards it’s the
dance
it’s dating it’s the dance it’s the
nerves like I you know it’s that so if
there if there are cynical bastards at
your office who or who don’t get it you
cannot ignore him don’t worry about it
because eventually you’ll get enough and
those people either come along or leave
or be pushed out you know ostracized
remember when the group starts helping
each other they
sighs the ones who refuse to help
whether they’re stronger whether they’re
weak they get ostracized until they
learn until they learn that they cannot
survive without the help of others and
they learn that the only way others will
help them is if they if they help the
others right the order matters the order
matters I’ll just I just thought of
something that that’s sort of we which
is pervasive in our sort of you know
digital world the order matters you know
so to speak honestly about what you want
right if you are doing don’t do things
for people when you want something from
them just ask them what you want from
them and I’ll give you one little
example it’s a funny little example
we’ve all received emails that go like
this dear Simon well you wouldn’t get an
email to your assignment but I dear
insert your name right dear Simon
haven’t seen you in years
hope you’re well congratulations on all
you’ve been doing it’s really amazing we
should get coffee sometime if you could
do me a favor I’m if you could vote for
me on this website I’m hoping to win you
know some thousand dollar prize for my
design blah blah blah
hope you’re well talk to you soon Kenny
right we’ve all received an email like
that and how do we respond to it right
now what happens if you get the same
email that goes like this dear Simon I’m
hoping you could vote for me on this
website I’m trying to win some thousand
dollar prize for my design I haven’t
seen you in years I hope you’re really
well congratulations on all that you’ve
been doing we should get a coffee
sometime thanks Kenny
totally different in other words when we
know why you’re emailing and it comes
first it has a remarkable impact we know
that all those pleasantries are just
buttering us up to get to what they want
right but if you come right out with
what you want we’re actually very
grateful for the pleasantries right it’s
the same thing in human interaction
don’t give someone a cup of coffee if
you need a favor back just ask them for
the favor it builds trust I can’t trust
you every time you do something nice for
me I think you just something what you
want something from me I won’t trust you
and this is what companies do to us
right well we did this for you why won’t
you do this for us
that’s not how it works generosity
bending down to pick up the papers
holding the door open for someone is
expecting nothing in return ever you do
not give you know this is what happens
in new business right we new business is
built on relationships and so we build
the relationship build the relationship
build a relationship until we’re
comfortable to ask for the business in
other words you were only befriending me
till the point you felt that I would let
down my guard and you could ask me for
something the whole time you were just
waiting for that time it doesn’t work
that way
if you actually want to build
relationships you build relationships
without wanting anything and that’s how
you build trust you want to know why the
Marines gave me this incredible access I
mean literally they said Simon anything
you want to see you got it anything you
want to do you got it you can go ahead
we went past sign that said no observers
no civilians beyond this point I’m like
can I take pictures like go ahead you
should see some of the pictures they’re
unbelievable right I’m like right in
there Marines coming at me we went out
to the crucible and roll like you know
they’re like rolling in the dirt and
like you know going onto barbed wire and
I’m not joking either they’re like you
know unprecedented access access that
journalists would be jealous of do you
know why they gave it to me because in
all the time that I’ve been visiting
with Marines and having meetings with
them I’ve never asked for anything I
don’t want anything and I don’t have
anything to sell
I just keep showing up and say what do
you need how can I help and at some
point they said when I called and said I
need a little favor because they know I
haven’t been waiting for the favor it’s
the time now that I have a little favor
they go absolutely whatever you need
it’s called human relationships
companies don’t do business with
companies people do business with people
you know your company didn’t win IBM as
a client somebody who likes somebody
said will hire you and if they didn’t
like you they’re just you know they’re
doing they’re playing roulette while
we’re betting that you know this will
work out those are the weak
relationships yes
[Music]
the more we give the more it inspires
others to give but the more selfish we
are the more others become selfish
around us and so those are organizations
in which selfish behavior perfect
prevails and so we see the residual
effect which is they make decisions that
ultimately screw us they destroy our
economy because of their selfish
behavior right we know this is what what
what happens same in politics right and
the answer is don’t worry about it I
know it sounds silly I need you out you
mean your first question is do I talk
about these things to them I will talk
to anyone who will listen you know but I
don’t talk to people who don’t want to
listen the good news is there are some
good eggs and there are some of them
who’ve had conversions where they were
the bastards who believed in firing
people and screwing people to advance
their careers and something happens I
just met a guy recently he was a very
senior executive at very very large
company and something happened and he
like he got like hit in the head or
something and he realized holy cow I
have to look after people right and they
become obsessed with it and they start
sticking their necks out and and we just
need those champions scattered around
and this is what I do the more I spread
this message the more it’s sort of it’s
it’s kind of like um you know in the
cartoons is sort of the whole of justice
you know the
the message goes out they all sort of
like you know wherever they are like you
know that they poke their heads up it’s
that kind of thing the more we talk
about it the more we put it in our work
you know because don’t forget you’re
gonna help someone who goes home feeling
good and their husband or their wife
works in the bank and they’re gonna talk
how much about they’d love to and that
might inspire that person you know it’s
it has all of these residual impacts
that we don’t really know this is the
funny thing about the internet which is
we’re so proud of the internet that we
can measure everything no you can’t you
can only measure one layer right so for
example you say Simon what’s the impact
you’re having I don’t know is the answer
right I know it’s it’s I know that it’ll
take more than a week and I will take
seven years but I don’t know when it’s
gonna happen and I don’t know how it’s
gonna get there right all I can do is is
do it right but I have no clue how we’ll
win and so for example I can measure
book sales and I can measure how many
hits and I can measure how many people
watched a TED talk and all of this but I
can’t measure you know that TED talk
being shown to a room of 50 people and
one of those 50 people doesn’t buy a
book doesn’t watch a TED talk doesn’t do
anything but goes out and does something
good for somebody else I have no way of
measuring that and so we’re so proud of
the internet and its ability to measure
everything but we’re measuring one layer
where we used to measure no layers it’s
like you know this is how people work
it’s it’s it’s gossamer you know it’s
networked and so the answer is don’t
worry about them don’t worry about them
worry about the people who you can care
for who you can give to and when we
reach a critical mass in society it will
tip right and if you don’t believe me
the reason it is the way it is now is
because it tipped the wrong way there
was no such thing as massive layoffs as
business strategy prior to night in the
1980s it just wasn’t done it was done
here and there but it wasn’t strategy
the idea of using layoffs to balance the
books is a relatively new phenomenon
that came for the increase of
selfishness in the Gordon Gekko greta’s
good 1980s boom right and this was also
the same exact period the 1980s where
the theory the theory of shareholder
value was put forwards right because
they had all these people buying large
companies and installing professional
managers to run the companies that they
bought that they invested in and they
had a problem which is those
professional managers were paid for by
the company and those professional
managers cared for the employees and the
customers and so the investor said how
do we protect our
we’ve got an idea we’re gonna give them
equity in the company and bonus them
based on the performance right and so
the shift happened where the CEOs
started caring more about the investors
and stopped caring about the customers
and employees those were theories
introduced by some Harvard professor in
the 1980s we can push it back the other
way right we can push it back the other
way but we just have to and there’s just
there’s a there was a just the other day
which company was it one of the large
banks where the shareholders citibank
citibank yeah citibank the shareholders
voted majority shareholders voted
against a fat pay package that’s
unprecedented it has never happened even
in hard times even when the company’s
doing this the shareholders just it’s
just sort of a cursory thing where they
approve the fifteen million dollar bonus
for the CEO they voted against it it’s
non-binding
but it sends a shot across the bow
saying shareholders now want you to be
bonused if you do something good for
all right the point is is that it’s it’s
starting to crack and so let’s just
stick our finger in the crack you know
make sure that it keeps cracking it’s
one one way we can swing it back the
question was can I talk about
celebrating accomplishment while still
asking for more right tutu
so so they did a study on kids who are
really really smart like an older gifted
classes why is it when you smart you’re
gifted when you’re stupid you’re special
why is that I was told my whole life I
was special
I never gifted they took the gifted kids
who were constantly told you’re so good
oh thanks but I knew you’d do well oh
you’re the you’re our best employee you
know you’re our best student you’re
awesome
right and what happens is later in life
they actually suffer because they’re
very afraid of taking risk because
they’re very afraid of losing their
position on the mantle okay kids who are
sort of more average who constantly are
rewarded not for their accomplishment
but for their effort great effort really
proud of the improvement you made what
they find is they do very well in life
because there’s no shelf there’s always
more there’s more effort right and so
you want to reward and acknowledge
effort even if they don’t hit the goal
it’s that the Delta but at the same time
if it goes backwards you’d be like dude
what’s going on it’s like we don’t get
we shouldn’t be giving ribbons for
everyone who competes right because what
we’re teaching people is if you do
nothing you get a medal right and the
funny thing is is we start with creating
a generation that’s feeling very Hollow
and feeling you know this sense of
entitlement that people complain about
gen-y the entitlement is I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything and the
funny thing is about human beings is we
we the way we feel accomplished is when
we exert energy and time and reach a
destination right and the more energy
and time that we have to suffer through
especially if we suffer together and we
get somewhere it is overwhelming think
about the best jobs you’ve ever worked
on was it the best design was it the
best results that the company
because of your your project or was it
an absolute hell project that you work
together and you came out on the other
end and that you got it done at the
deadline and you’re like that was
amazing it was the hell projects it was
the things that we had to go out of our
ways more do things for each other right
things we weren’t thinking of doing I
was wrapping packages I was doing stuff
that aren’t designers aren’t supposed to
do going you know this is what produces
that right and so the the the the the
thing is about measurement and
destination reward imagine we’re
standing in a big empty room right and
we’re standing in one corner and I give
you a simple instruction I want you to
go to that corner in a straight line
right I figure out no big deal right
without telling you I slip a chair in
front of you what do you do you go
around the chair
now you just disobeyed what I told you
to do I told you to go to that corner
straight line but this is the amazing
things about human beings which is when
we’re given a clear destination we use
our own creativity and our own sense of
innovation and our own problem-solving
abilities to overcome obstacles to get
to the destination in other words the
destination is more important than the
route right we are flexible about the
route we’re obsessed with the
destination reset we’re standing in the
corner together and I give you a simple
instruction go somewhere in this room in
a straight line and you say to me well
where do you owe me to go I’m like I
don’t know you smart figure it out go in
a straight line and so you pick a point
and you start walking and without
telling you I put a chair in front of
you and what do you do you come to a
grinding halt I say what did you stop
for you go will you put a chair in front
of me or you’ll make a sudden turn and
go in another direction right and this
is the problem it’s the same obstacle
the difference is when you have a clear
set a clear destination the obstacles
become easy to overcome when you don’t
have a clear destination you keep coming
to a grinding halt and what we do in our
companies is we’re counting the steps
we’re taking along the route but we’re
never looking at the destination right
so company says made in million dollars
this year we were only planning on
making eight hundred thousand like we
took ten steps were only planning on
taking eight where are you going no clue
right we count the steps and so the
point is is that people want to feel
that the effort that they’re exerting
actually are moving somewhere and so
successful measurement successful
recognition is not just for the steps
you take it’s not just for the effort
it’s that the effort you exerted moved
us closer to where we’re trying to get
to and that get to should be some crazy
ideal my ideal is to live in a world in
which the vast majority of people wake
up every single morning
you know inspire to go to work and
fulfilled by the work that they do and
the the couple of measurements that I
use are if the book is selling and I by
the way people ask me how many have you
sold I have no clue I’ve never asked the
publisher because they don’t care I
really don’t care how many I’ve sold
what I care about is the Amazon rankings
and that those are going steady or up
and not plummeting because that means
other people right because I don’t have
a publicist I don’t have a marketing
strategy on purpose I didn’t hire one of
those companies to sell the book for me
and the reason is is because I’m not
interested in book sales I’m interested
in spreading an idea and so I just use
that as a metric to help me understand
am I sort of marching in that because
the more I preach is it resonating you
know and so you have a couple of these
imperfect measurements that help you
understand are you going along the way
so it’s not just great effort look what
you achieved because that’s what we’re
doing now right our goal is to increase
top-line revenues by 50 million dollars
for what reason right
which is we have to know the destination
and then we say amazing you took us that
much closer and if we go to the right
it’s because we were overcoming an
obstacle if we hadn’t gone to the right
we would have been stuck forever thank
you you know it’s not always straight
lines it’s not always straight lines but
it’s it’s in one direction she’s pulling
the cane out thank you very very much [Applause]
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