so here’s a little issue we have in
America today there are currently about
250,000 people a year who are dying in
our hospitals due to due to preventable
deaths and I’m not talking about
negligence I’m talking about little
accidents right I’m talking about the
doctor in the morning not properly
briefing the doctor for the evening you
know I’m talking about things that you
know we can’t sue anybody there’s
nothing there’s nothing that we can see
that’s wrong but there’s 250,000
preventable deaths every year that’s
about 20 747s going down every single
week that’s what’s the equivalent to and
the confusing thing is that we have the
best doctors in the world we have the
most advanced technology in the world
some of the medical equipment we have is
the best in the world the medicines we
have are the best in the world so you
start asking yourselves why are these
things happening and the reason is not
because of any of those things the
reasons are actually something vastly
more simple and something very very
human five percent of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for because what
we’ve done is we’ve created cultures and
hospitals where the people who are doing
the caring aren’t cared for and so all
of these little preventable deaths are
happening because they don’t feel like
they’re a part of anything they’re just
doing their jobs and they don’t get
along that well and there’s not a lot of
camaraderie and the impact is death
right now I use this example because
it’s exaggerated because the impact is
so powerful but the problem is the same
in our own companies right which is we
come to work and we’re told you must
care for your clients you must care for
your customers you must make them the
focus of
you do and yet why aren’t the people who
are managing us from the top caring
about us so yes in a hospital the impact
is worse but the impact that we’re
having on the outside world is just as
bad in other words we’re not working at
our best we don’t care for the things
we’re doing we’re not helping each other
is the most important part and the
residual impact is that we are
unfulfilled by the work that we do and
when we run fulfilled by the work that
we do we focus on the details and when
we focus on the details we retract from
each other when we track from each other
we feel lonely and when we feel lonely
cancer goes up heart disease goes up
diabetes goes up in other words by going
to work we’re killing ourselves
literally there’s another study that was
released not that long ago that says
that parents who work late the negative
impact that it has on their children is
little to none they may feel guilty as
parents but the negative impact that it
has on the raising of their children is
little to none however parents who come
home from jobs they hate or don’t love
their kids are more likely to be bullies
at school and now you think about the
bullying epidemic we have in America
right where there’s this disturbing
number of young children who are killing
themselves suicides because of bullies
the problem is not the schools and the
problem isn’t even the parenting the
problem is the jobs the parents have
this is the importance and this is the
power of the work that we do in the
places we go to work right most of us
mean like we listen to the the the
unemployment statistics they say you
know we’re all-time high record high
nine to ten percent unemployment right
and people go Mike oh that’s terrible
and I hear that number and I go well
that means ninety-one percent still have
a job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent are still going to
work the question is how many of them
are coming home fulfilled by the work
that they do and how many of them are
waking up inspired to go back to work
the next day if we don’t love our works
we don’t look out for each other if we
don’t look out for each other we feel
lonely if we don’t feel lonely all these
negative things happen
so what example can I share with a
creative audience about how to change
this the United States Marine Corps
I had the great honor last week of
spending a week with the Marines I spent
a couple days at Camp Lejeune and then I
went for a few days to Parris Island to
watch them go through boot camp and this
isn’t a room it’s a remarkable
remarkable human experiment that they’re
doing and even though they know what
works they don’t know why it works but
they don’t need to know why because they
know that it works right but what’s
happening is they’re taking a group of
strangers people who don’t know each
other who were showing up and within a
very very short period of time learn to
trust each other so much that they would
give their lives for each other right
and we know everyone sort of anyone
who’s ever worn a human reform knows
that no one runs into battle for God and
country it doesn’t happen it’s for the
guy to the left of me and the guy to the
right of me that’s the reason they do
what they do right and these sort of
remarkable stories of heroism where
people rush into very very dangerous
situations to save others and they
always ask the question why did you do
it why would you risk your life why
would you put yourself at risk for them
and the answer is always the same
because they would do it for me in other
words what gives them the confidence to
put themselves at great risk is the
knowledge that someone would do the same
for them we would put ourselves a great
risk for our companies if we knew that
our companies would put themselves a
great risk for us but they don’t so we
don’t now one of the things that’s
remarkable about the Marines and if you
go read and you know this is the most I
asked these young and they’re 21 22
years old some of these of these lance
corporals the grunts you know the guys
the infantry I mean this is the lowest
of the low the ones we actually send in
to battle the frontlines and I asked
them are you misunderstood in America
and they said yes unanimously they all
nodded I said what what do people think
of you and one stood up and says they
think we’re baby killers I said how does
it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine
tell me a story that captures it and I
expected to hear stories of I took a hit
and somebody saved me or I ran into a
fire if I can pulled something I
expected these stories of heroism not a
single story like that came out
those stories exist but those aren’t
that tall the stories they told me that
capture what it means to be a marine one
of the stories they told me was a young
boy in Afghanistan who would come around
every morning and sell kebabs to the
Marines and then one day he showed up
and he was all beaten up and he didn’t
go to his parents for help and he didn’t
go to his friends to help he came to the
Marines for help because he trusted them
more than anyone else they told me a
story that captured how they feel of a
sevilla CH that had been overrun by the
Taliban and the residents of the village
could couldn’t go home because they
would be killed by the Taliban and so
they were just living by the river
the problem was winter was coming and
one of the the elders came to the
Marines knocked on the door and said I
need you to come down to the river and
kill us and the Marine said what are you
talking about he says if we go back home
we’ll be killed by the Taliban and if we
stay out there we’re gonna die slow
deaths this winter it’s easier if you
just come and kill us please
the Marines overran the Taliban village
pushed the Taliban out a year later they
went back to this village and people
were playing volleyball these were the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine they believed in
doing good for others and the
fulfillment they get when they put
themselves at risk so that others may
prevail is overwhelming this is not
unique to the Marine Corps this is all
human beings the feeling of fulfillment
comes from doing something for another
the feeling from fulfillment comes from
the exertion of time and energy for
someone else if you are walking to work
and you throw a few pennies in a cup and
you come to work and you say to your
friends hey guys I gave a dollar to
somebody homeless this morning what are
your friends get it to say yeah good
right I gave 20 bucks to somebody
homeless they’d be like yeah good for
you right what have you come in in the
morning you say hey I gave up my
Saturday and I went and paid missus
painted a school in the inner city
people go whoa cool wow cool and all of
a sudden not only are they inspired to
do something good themselves but the
feeling that that you have persists the
amazing thing is that when we do good
for others that actually inspire
others to do good for others this is
provided for us prymatt illogically
anthropologically it’s a all part of the
survival of the species you know sex
feels good so that will do it so we can
procreate and perpetuate the species but
we’re social animals and so we have to
provide for the fact that we’ll maintain
strong bonds and build cultures right
because that’s what humans do we’re
cultural animals and so when we do good
for others and we look out for those in
our tribe we look out for those in our
group it actually feels good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for others is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we’ve replaced this
feeling the exertion of time and energy
with digital communications we’ve
replaced it with headphones we’ve
replaced it with money right think about
the invention of money right it used to
be money you know you used to be like
you go to someone’s house you cook them
dinner and the deal was they’ll do the
dishes time and energy exchange for time
and energy and someone said I’ll give
you an IOU right someone says I don’t
feel like doing the dishes so I’m gonna
give you an IOU that I promise to do
them another day right and that’s what
money is it is the promise for future
goods or services the promise of future
goods and services in other words we’ve
replaced our own time and energy with
promises for someone else to do it
another day right in other words there’s
no exertion of time and energy and so
the feeling people get is that I did
something for you and you did nothing
for me you replaced it with a piece of
paper with an eye are you with a promise
for future goods and services the way we
find fulfilment is by doing good for
others so how did the marine zoo how do
you get people to do good for others we
all know this intellectually we know
that it’s good to do good for others but
why don’t we do it then why don’t we do
it and what the Marines learned is
something that I completely did not
expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first so we all heard of the
obstacle course right the Marines have a
thing called the obstacle course and
this is where they they build an aerobic
strength and Arabic strength muscle
strength and it’s timed and all of this
good stuff they have another course
called the confidence course and it’s
never timed and most of the obstacles on
this course cannot be completed by
yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice that’s just how it’s designed
and what they say is the first two weeks
of boot camp everybody’s there to outdo
each other and prove that they’re strong
just kind of like when we start in a job
would prove we want to show how great we
are we’ll work a little harder we’ll do
good work look how good my design is
right it’s all about us and how good we
are right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do but
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long you see them
organically start helping each other and
what happens is if there’s one person
who’s weak and refuses to help each
other the others or even if there’s one
person who’s strong who’s you know I was
the star college athlete and they get to
every the end of every office to call me
just stand there and wait for everybody
to finish and they don’t help each other
what starts to happen as organically the
group starts to ostracize that person
organically they get ostracized until
they learn that the only way that they
will get through this thing the only way
they will survive boot camp is if they
ask for help because they have no option
the problem is no one will help them
until they’re willing to help another
it’s the deal we have to make it’s
called vulnerability and risk we have to
take the risk
to make ourselves vulnerable yes you
might do something for someone else and
they may not do something back for you
that’s the risk you run that’s the risk
you run it’s not about it’s not about
giving everything to them and and sort
of huge big overwhelming risk it’s about
little things and little things it’s
like going on a date right it’s like if
I went on a date with somebody I came
home and I said after one day and I said
I’m marrying her people like what are
you nuts
I’d be like I’m in love they’re like but
you’re you this is crazy I’m like I know
I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts
right now you know that you’re gonna be
like go on a couple more dates right we
know instinctively that the strong bond
that’s create that that needs to be
created first takes more than a week
right we know that right but if I’ve
been dating somebody for seven years and
we haven’t you know married you’ll be
like dude what is wrong right in other
words we know that it takes more than
seven days and we know that it takes
less than seven years the problem is we
don’t know how long it takes somewhere
in the middle all human buns are the
same like when you show up at work when
you show for the first time when you’re
new don’t expect that people will look
out for you and they won’t expect you to
look out for them in seven days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the unti that the sort of the
absolute confidence that if you turn
your back you will not get stabbed you
can rely on somebody you can give them
something nothing will go wrong you will
share the credit no one will throw you
under the bus if you don’t have that in
a few years something’s wrong
something’s wrong I don’t know how long
it takes but I know that’s more than a
week and I know it’s less than seven
years and the Marines fundamentally
understand that before anyone is willing
to put themselves out for another they
have to have self-confidence real self
confidence you have to be confident in
yourself and your own ability before
you’re willing to help another if you’re
insecure at all about your own ability
it’s an oxy it’s sort of a paradox right
how am I can I overcome my confidence
you know my self-confidence and we all
have ego issues at all times you know we
all do right but if I’m not confident
myself I won’t help another it’s a
paradox because then we need someone to
look out for us before we’re willing to
help our peers right this is what
management is supposed to do the drill
instructors the school they are there
our parents
they are there for one reason and one
reason only to help us feel strong and
good about ourselves but look at the way
we talk to each other a little bit look
a budgets been cut and so what do you
get told I need you guys to do more with
less right that’s what we’re told hey
guys I need you guys to do more with
less that’s we’re told by our clients by
our bosses by our parents this is what
we’re told right that’s like your
parents telling you when you’re young
no you’re stupid figure it out right
you’re not as smart as the other kids
what do you want me to do right it’s the
exact same thing I need you to do more
with less right what we need to be
telling people is I need you I need you
to do more with what you have right you
have capacity you have strength you have
talent you have kapap ability I need you
to do more with what you have we don’t
celebrate what we’ve got we criticize
for what we don’t have this is the
responsibility of management to take us
under their wing and help us understand
our own value to ourselves close your
eyes and think back to high school and
think of that one teacher who took you
under their wing and cared for you and
looked after you and helped you realize
that you are capable of more than you
thought you were and you and you you
probably are the person you are today in
some part because of that person right
do you have that name what’s the name
tell me the name tell me the name of the
teacher okay
give me the name okay I can point to
anybody and you can tell me that name
now tell me the names of all the other
teachers you had that day can’t remember
them Kenya this is the power of those
who teaches confidence we will literally
carry their names around with us for the
rest of our lives wouldn’t you want to
be that person wouldn’t you want to be
the person that twenty years from now 30
years from now 40 years from now I can
do this exercise with somebody and they
will tell me your name this is the power
of helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that
is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow the you carriage them to get
back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figure it out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
into others responsibility to help you
find yours and the amazing thing is as
soon as you start feeling confident in
your own ability you naturally help each
other that’s what happens it’s called
trust in the military they give medals
to people who are willing to sacrifice
themselves so that others may gain in
business we are willing to give bonuses
to people who will sacrifice others so
that we may gain we have it backwards
and then we complain about how we don’t
love our jobs and we complain about how
the work is suffering and we complain
about how budgets are being cut and we
can complain complain complain and the
first thing we do is blame each other
and become more selfish and worried
about my pay and my benefits and my this
and this is what happens when we are
unfulfilled we look at the metrics and
we say they’re not good enough when we
are fulfilled we don’t care about the
metrics this is why when you have a job
you love and you get a call that says
I’ll offer you tons more money and great
benefits you like I’m not interested I’m
not interested I I’m not interested I’m
very happy here but we’ll give you more
that’s not the reason I’m here I’m here
because I love it I’m here because I
care for the people I work with and I’m
here because the people I work with care
for me this is the world I imagine this
is the world I imagine and here’s the
great thing if you take little risks I’m
not talking about big things little
things if you start doing little things
for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he was walking down
the street and I happened to be behind
him and so my friend and I just sort of
we were in mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stopped
talking
we just bent down sort of helped him
gather his papers and them back to him
sort of pointed out that his bet book
bag was his you know
bag was unzipped and he said thanks and
we walked out it was like no big deal
right we get to the end of the the
street we stand at the that we’re
waiting it to cross the street we still
talking we haven’t stopped talking and
the guy in front of us turns to us and
says I saw you help that guy that was
really cool but here’s what’s great
about that the guy will go do something
for someone else simply because he saw
us bend down and pick up paper for
someone else he will actually go do
something for someone else because of it
right he he won’t give to charity
because he sees me put a dollar in a cup
but he will actually help someone
because he saw someone also helps
someone little things hold a door open
for someone say thank you to the person
hold the door open for you smile to the
barista little little things you know
put your foot in the subway when the
door is closing so someone who’s running
will make it hit the open at the
or pretend you didn’t see that’s the
best one you know I would if I saw sorry
all right do it a little time and a
little energy and you’ll find around
work that people get a little time and a
little energy back to you and you’ll
give a little more time and a little
more energy you go for a coffee with
someone then you go forth to our coffee
and you go for a coffee and a lunch then
you go for a lunch and a dinner then you
go for a dinner in a movie and then you
sleep over and then you sleep over two
nights and then you go on holiday
together and eventually you get married
right it’s slow it takes time and we
can’t rush it
you know if when we rush it it’s all
fake do things for others and watch
watch how much others do for you but you
know go you go get yourself a cup of
coffee from the coffee sheet machine in
the morning make one for someone else it
takes a little extra time it takes a
little extra energy that’s the point
that’s the point and here’s the best
part you will feel so good at the end of
thank you it’s a great question how do
you convince someone how do you know
sort of the metrics how do you convince
a skeptical audience of this trust
metric you don’t you don’t write you
can’t twist anybody’s arm to do
something that they don’t want to do and
you know the law of diffusion which I
obey you know as hard as as much as I
can which is you don’t need the majority
you need those people who believe what
you believe in other words if you buy if
you you know when you go sort of when
you do some nice things for people they
may not do something nice back because
they may be you know we live in a world
in which you do something for somebody
they think you want something from them
right that’s unfortunately the society
we’ve created but but that’s the risk
that we keep taking I’m not saying you
should keep doing it for somebody who
keeps doing nothing and keeps sort of
you know crapping on you because of it
then at some point you have to be like
all right my bad my bad
right and you back off you know I don’t
believe in helping everyone I do not
believe in it right this is not you know
let’s do good for everyone in the planet
that’s not what I’m talking about
mother Teresa who’s the poster child for
giving selflessly to all who need at the
end of her life started questioning the
existence of God and by the way hated
her life serious okay in other words
giving to others unabashedly is actually
self-destructive it doesn’t help right
and it’s just like going on dates with
people you don’t like doesn’t mean
there’s there’s only one machine that I
found that really accurately measures
trust better than any other sort of
metric it’s called a human being it’s
really good at it
right and so those feelings you get
trust them in one way or the other you
know it’s it’s the little risks it’s the
butterflies it’s the unsure you know
it’s the it’s the backwards it’s the
dance
it’s dating it’s the dance it’s the
nerves like I you know it’s that so if
there were if there are cynical bastards
at your office who or who don’t get it
you cannot ignore them don’t worry about
it because eventually you’ll get enough
and those people either come along or
leave or be pushed out you know
ostracized remember when the group
starts helping each other they
besides the ones who refuse to help
whether they’re strong or whether
they’re weak they get ostracized until
they learn until they learn that they
cannot survive without the help of
others and they learn that the only way
others will help them is if they if they
help the others right the order matters
the order matters I’ll just I just
thought of something that sort of we is
pervasive in our sort of you know
digital world the order matters you know
so to speak honestly about what you want
right if you are doing don’t do things
for people when you want something from
them just ask them what you want from
them and I’ll give you one little
example it’s a funny little example
we’ve all received emails that go like
this dear Simon well you wouldn’t get an
email to dear Simon but I would dear
insert your name right dear Simon
haven’t seen you in years
hope you’re well congratulations on all
you’ve been doing it’s really amazing
we should get copy sometime if you could
do me a favor I’m if you could vote for
me on this website I’m hoping to win you
know some thousand dollar prize for my
design blah blah blah
hope you’re well talk to you soon Kenny
right we’ve all received an email like
that and how do we respond to it right
now what happens if you get the same
email that goes like this dear Simon I’m
hoping you could vote for me on this
website I’m trying to win some thousand
dollar prize for my design I haven’t
seen you in years I hope you’re really
well congratulations on all that you’ve
been doing we should get a coffee
sometime thanks Kenny totally different
in other words when we know why you’re
emailing and it comes first it has a
remarkable impact we know that all those
pleasantries are just buttering us up to
get to what they want right but if you
come right out with what you want we’re
actually very grateful for the
pleasantries right it’s the same thing
in human interaction don’t give someone
a cup of coffee if you need a favor back
just ask them for the favor it builds
trust I can’t trust you every time you
do something nice for me I think you
just something what you want something
from me I won’t trust you and this is
what companies do to us right well we
did this for you why won’t you do this
for us
that’s not how it works generosity
bending down to pick up the papers
holding the door open for someone is
expecting nothing in return ever you do
not give you know this is what happens
in new business right we new business is
built on relationships and so we build
the relationship build the relationship
build the relationship until we’re
comfortable to ask for the business in
other words you were only befriending me
till the point you felt that I would let
down my guard and you could ask me for
something the whole time you were just
waiting for that time it doesn’t work
that way if you actually want to build
relationships you build relationships
without wanting anything and that’s how
you build trust you want to know why the
Marines gave me this incredible access I
mean literally they said Simon anything
you want to see you got it anything you
want to do you got it you can go we went
past sign that said no observers no
civilians beyond this point I’m like can
I take pictures like go ahead you should
see some of the pictures they’re
unbelievable right I’m like right in
there Marines coming at me we went out
to the crucible and all like you know
they’re like rolling in the dirt and
like you know going onto barbed wire and
I’m not joking either they’re like you
know unprecedented access access that
journalists would be jealous of do you
know why they gave it to me because in
all the time that I’ve been visiting
with Marines and having meetings with
them I’ve never asked for anything I
don’t want anything and I don’t have
anything to sell I just keep showing up
and say what do you need how can I help
and at some point they said when I
called up and said I need a little favor
because they know I haven’t been waiting
for the favor it’s the time now that I
have a little favor they go absolutely
whatever you need it’s called human
relationships companies don’t do
business with companies people do
business with people you know your
company didn’t win IBM as a client
somebody who like somebody said will
hire you and if they didn’t like you
they’re just you know they’re do it
they’re playing roulette well we’re
betting that you know this will work out
those are the weak relationships yes the
more we give the more it inspires others
to give but the more selfish we are the
more others become selfish around us and
so those are organizations in which
selfish behavior perfect prevails and so
we see the residual effect which is they
make decisions that ultimately screw us
they destroy our economy because of
their selfish behavior right we know
this is what what what happens same in
politics right and the answer is don’t
worry about it I know it sounds silly
and usually you out you mean your first
question is do I talk about these things
to them I will talk to anyone who will
listen you know but I don’t talk to
people who don’t want to listen the good
news is there are some good eggs and
there are some of them who’ve had
conversions where they were the bastards
who believed in firing people in
screwing people to advance their careers
and something happens I just met a guy
recently he was a very senior executive
at a very very large company and
something happened and he like he got
like hit in the head or something and he
realized holy cow I have to look after
people right and they become obsessed
with it and they start sticking their
necks out and and we just need those
champions scattered around and this is
what I do the more I spread this message
the more it’s sort of it’s it’s kind of
like you know in the in the cartoons
sort of the whole of Justice you know
the message goes out they all sort of
like you know wherever they are like you
know that they poke their heads up it’s
that kind of thing the more we talk
about it the more we put it in our work
you know because don’t forget you’re
gonna help someone who goes home feeling
good and their husband or their wife
works in the bank and they’re gonna talk
how much about they’d love to and that
might inspire that / you know it’s it
has all these residual impacts that that
we don’t really know this is the funny
thing about the internet which is we’re
so proud of the internet that we can
measure everything no you can’t you can
only measure one layer right so for
example you say Simon what’s the impact
you’re having I don’t know is the answer
right I know it’s it’s I know that it’ll
take more than a week and I will take
seven years but I don’t know when it’s
gonna happen and I don’t know how it’s
gonna get there right all I can do is is
do it right but I have no clue how we’ll
win and so for example I can measure
book sales and I can measure how many
hits and I can measure how many people
have watched a TED talk and all of this
but I can’t measure you know that TED
talk being shown to a room of 50 people
and one of those 50 people doesn’t buy a
book doesn’t watch a TED talk doesn’t do
anything but goes out and does something
good for somebody else I have no way of
measuring that and so we’re so proud of
the Internet and its ability to measure
everything but we’re measuring one layer
where we used to measure no layers it’s
like you know this is how people work
it’s it’s it’s gossamer you know it’s
networked and so the answer is don’t
worry about them don’t worry about them
worry about the people who you can care
for who you can give to and when we
reach a critical mass in society it will
tip right and if you don’t believe me
the reason it is the way it is now is
because it tipped the wrong way there
was no such thing as massive layoffs as
business strategy prior to ninth in the
1980s it just wasn’t done it was done
here and there but it wasn’t strategy
the idea of using layoffs to balance the
books is a relatively new phenomenon
that came for the increase of
selfishness in the Gordon Gekko Greta’s
good 1980s boom right and this was also
the same exact period the 1980s where
the theory the theory of shareholder
value was put forward right because they
had all these people buying large
companies and installing professional
managers to run the companies that they
bought that they invested in and they
had a problem which is those
professional managers were paid for by
the company and those professional
managers cared for the employees and the
customers and so the investors said how
do we protect our investment
we’ve got an idea we’re going to give
them equity in the company and bonus
them based on the performance right and
so the shift happened where the CEOs
started caring more about the investors
and stopped caring about the customers
and employees those were theories
introduced by some Harvard professor in
the 1980s we can push it back the other
way right we can push it back the other
way
but we just have to and there’s just
there’s a there was a just the other day
which company was it one of the large
banks where the shareholder is citibank
citibank yeah citibank the shareholders
voted majority shareholders voted
against a fat pay package that’s
unprecedented it has never happened even
in hard times even when the company’s
doing this the shareholders just it’s
just sort of a cursory thing where they
approve the fifteen million dollar bonus
for the CEO they voted against it it’s
non-binding but it sends a shot across
the bow saying shareholders now want you
to be bonus if you do something good for
all right the point is is that it’s it’s
starting to crack and so let’s just
stick our finger in the crack you know
make sure that it keeps cracking it’s
one one way we can swing it back the
question was can I talk about
celebrating accomplishment while still
asking for more right tutu
so so they did a study on kids who are
really really smart like an older gifted
classes why is it when you smart you’re
gifted when you’re stupid you’re special
why is that I was told my whole life I
was special
it’s not you never gifted they took the
gifted kids who were constantly told
you’re so good
oh thanks for do well oh you’re the
you’re our best employee you know you’re
our best student you’re awesome
right and what happens is later in life
they actually suffer because they’re
very afraid of taking risk because
they’re very afraid of losing their
position on the mantle okay
kids who are sort of more average who
constantly are rewarded not for their
accomplishment but for their effort
great effort really proud of the
improvement you made what they find is
they do very well in life because
there’s no shelf there’s always more
there’s more effort right and so you
want to reward and acknowledge effort
even if they don’t hit the goal it’s
that the Delta but at the same time if
it goes backwards you’d be like dude
what’s going on it’s like we don’t get
we shouldn’t be giving ribbons for
everyone who competes right because what
we’re teaching people is if you do
nothing you get a medal right and the
funny thing is is we start with creating
a generation that’s feeling very Hollow
and feeling you know this sense of
entitlement that people complain about
gen-y the entitlement is I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything and the
funny thing is about human beings is we
we the way we feel accomplished is when
we exert energy and time and reach a
destination right and the more energy
and time that we have to suffer through
especially if we suffer together and we
get somewhere it is overwhelming think
about the best jobs you’ve ever worked
on was it the best design was it the
best results that the company has
because of your your project or was it
an absolute hell project that you work
together and you came out on the other
end and that you got it done at the
deadline and you’re like that was
amazing it was the hell projects it was
the things that we had to go out of our
ways more do things for each other right
things we weren’t thinking of doing I
was wrapping packages I was doing stuff
that aren’t designers aren’t supposed to
do going you know this is what produces
that right and so the the the the the
thing is about measurement and
destination reward imagine we’re
standing in a big empty room right and
we’re standing in one corner and I give
you a simple instruction I want you to
go to that corner in a straight line
right I figure out no big deal right
without telling you I slip a chair in
front of you what do you do you go
around the chair
now you just disobeyed what I told you
to do I told you to go to that corner
straight line but this is the amazing
things about human beings which is when
we’re given a clear destination we use
our own creativity and our own sense of
innovation and our own problem-solving
abilities to overcome obstacles to get
to the destination in other words the
destination is more important than the
route right we are flexible about the
route we’re obsessed with the
destination reset we’re standing in the
corner together and I give you a simple
instruction go somewhere in this room in
a straight line and you say to me well
where do you want me to go I’m like I
don’t know you smart figure it out go in
a straight line and so you pick a point
and you start walking and without
telling you I put a chair in front of
you and what do you do you come to a
grinding halt I say what you stopped for
you go will you put a chair in front of
me or you’ll make a sudden turn and go
in another direction right and this is
the problem it’s the same obstacle the
difference is when you have a clear set
a clear destination the obstacles become
easy to overcome when you don’t have a
clear destination you keep coming to a
grinding halt and what we do in our
companies is we’re counting the steps
we’re taking along the route but we’re
never looking at the destination right
so companies has made in million dollars
this year we were only planning on
making eight hundred thousand like we
took ten steps or any planning I’m
taking eight where you going
no clue right we count the steps and so
the point is is that people want to feel
that the effort that they’re exerting
actually are moving somewhere and so
successful measurement successful
recognition is not just for the steps
you take it’s not just for the effort
it’s that the effort you exerted moved
us closer to where we’re trying to get
to and that get to should be some crazy
ideal my ideal is to live in a world in
which the vast majority of people wake
up every single morning
you know inspire to go to work and
fulfilled by the work that they do and
the the couple of measurements that I
use are if the book is selling and I by
the way people ask me how many have you
sold I have no clue I’ve never asked the
publisher because they don’t care I
really don’t care how many I’ve sold
what I care about is the Amazon rankings
and that those are going steady or up
and not plummeting because that means
other people right because I don’t have
a publicist I don’t have a marketing
strategy on purpose I didn’t hire one of
those companies to sell the book for me
and the reason is is because I’m not
interested in book sales I’m interested
in spreading an idea and so I just use
that as a metric to help me understand
am I sort of marching in the because the
more I preach is it resonating you know
and so you have a couple of these
imperfect measurements that help you
understand are you going along the way
so it’s not just great effort look what
you achieved because that’s what we’re
doing now right our goal is to increase
top-line revenues by 50 million dollars
for what reason right
which is we have to know the destination
and then we say amazing you took us that
much closer and if we go to the right
it’s because we were overcoming an
obstacle if we hadn’t gone to the right
we would have been stuck forever thank
you you know it’s not always straight
lines it’s not always straight lines but
it’s it’s in one direction she’s pulling
the cane out thank you very very much [Applause]
America today there are currently about
250,000 people a year who are dying in
our hospitals due to due to preventable
deaths and I’m not talking about
negligence I’m talking about little
accidents right I’m talking about the
doctor in the morning not properly
briefing the doctor for the evening you
know I’m talking about things that you
know we can’t sue anybody there’s
nothing there’s nothing that we can see
that’s wrong but there’s 250,000
preventable deaths every year that’s
about 20 747s going down every single
week that’s what’s the equivalent to and
the confusing thing is that we have the
best doctors in the world we have the
most advanced technology in the world
some of the medical equipment we have is
the best in the world the medicines we
have are the best in the world so you
start asking yourselves why are these
things happening and the reason is not
because of any of those things the
reasons are actually something vastly
more simple and something very very
human five percent of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for because what
we’ve done is we’ve created cultures and
hospitals where the people who are doing
the caring aren’t cared for and so all
of these little preventable deaths are
happening because they don’t feel like
they’re a part of anything they’re just
doing their jobs and they don’t get
along that well and there’s not a lot of
camaraderie and the impact is death
right now I use this example because
it’s exaggerated because the impact is
so powerful but the problem is the same
in our own companies right which is we
come to work and we’re told you must
care for your clients you must care for
your customers you must make them the
focus of
you do and yet why aren’t the people who
are managing us from the top caring
about us so yes in a hospital the impact
is worse but the impact that we’re
having on the outside world is just as
bad in other words we’re not working at
our best we don’t care for the things
we’re doing we’re not helping each other
is the most important part and the
residual impact is that we are
unfulfilled by the work that we do and
when we run fulfilled by the work that
we do we focus on the details and when
we focus on the details we retract from
each other when we track from each other
we feel lonely and when we feel lonely
cancer goes up heart disease goes up
diabetes goes up in other words by going
to work we’re killing ourselves
literally there’s another study that was
released not that long ago that says
that parents who work late the negative
impact that it has on their children is
little to none they may feel guilty as
parents but the negative impact that it
has on the raising of their children is
little to none however parents who come
home from jobs they hate or don’t love
their kids are more likely to be bullies
at school and now you think about the
bullying epidemic we have in America
right where there’s this disturbing
number of young children who are killing
themselves suicides because of bullies
the problem is not the schools and the
problem isn’t even the parenting the
problem is the jobs the parents have
this is the importance and this is the
power of the work that we do in the
places we go to work right most of us
mean like we listen to the the the
unemployment statistics they say you
know we’re all-time high record high
nine to ten percent unemployment right
and people go Mike oh that’s terrible
and I hear that number and I go well
that means ninety-one percent still have
a job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent are still going to
work the question is how many of them
are coming home fulfilled by the work
that they do and how many of them are
waking up inspired to go back to work
the next day if we don’t love our works
we don’t look out for each other if we
don’t look out for each other we feel
lonely if we don’t feel lonely all these
negative things happen
so what example can I share with a
creative audience about how to change
this the United States Marine Corps
I had the great honor last week of
spending a week with the Marines I spent
a couple days at Camp Lejeune and then I
went for a few days to Parris Island to
watch them go through boot camp and this
isn’t a room it’s a remarkable
remarkable human experiment that they’re
doing and even though they know what
works they don’t know why it works but
they don’t need to know why because they
know that it works right but what’s
happening is they’re taking a group of
strangers people who don’t know each
other who were showing up and within a
very very short period of time learn to
trust each other so much that they would
give their lives for each other right
and we know everyone sort of anyone
who’s ever worn a human reform knows
that no one runs into battle for God and
country it doesn’t happen it’s for the
guy to the left of me and the guy to the
right of me that’s the reason they do
what they do right and these sort of
remarkable stories of heroism where
people rush into very very dangerous
situations to save others and they
always ask the question why did you do
it why would you risk your life why
would you put yourself at risk for them
and the answer is always the same
because they would do it for me in other
words what gives them the confidence to
put themselves at great risk is the
knowledge that someone would do the same
for them we would put ourselves a great
risk for our companies if we knew that
our companies would put themselves a
great risk for us but they don’t so we
don’t now one of the things that’s
remarkable about the Marines and if you
go read and you know this is the most I
asked these young and they’re 21 22
years old some of these of these lance
corporals the grunts you know the guys
the infantry I mean this is the lowest
of the low the ones we actually send in
to battle the frontlines and I asked
them are you misunderstood in America
and they said yes unanimously they all
nodded I said what what do people think
of you and one stood up and says they
think we’re baby killers I said how does
it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine
tell me a story that captures it and I
expected to hear stories of I took a hit
and somebody saved me or I ran into a
fire if I can pulled something I
expected these stories of heroism not a
single story like that came out
those stories exist but those aren’t
that tall the stories they told me that
capture what it means to be a marine one
of the stories they told me was a young
boy in Afghanistan who would come around
every morning and sell kebabs to the
Marines and then one day he showed up
and he was all beaten up and he didn’t
go to his parents for help and he didn’t
go to his friends to help he came to the
Marines for help because he trusted them
more than anyone else they told me a
story that captured how they feel of a
sevilla CH that had been overrun by the
Taliban and the residents of the village
could couldn’t go home because they
would be killed by the Taliban and so
they were just living by the river
the problem was winter was coming and
one of the the elders came to the
Marines knocked on the door and said I
need you to come down to the river and
kill us and the Marine said what are you
talking about he says if we go back home
we’ll be killed by the Taliban and if we
stay out there we’re gonna die slow
deaths this winter it’s easier if you
just come and kill us please
the Marines overran the Taliban village
pushed the Taliban out a year later they
went back to this village and people
were playing volleyball these were the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine they believed in
doing good for others and the
fulfillment they get when they put
themselves at risk so that others may
prevail is overwhelming this is not
unique to the Marine Corps this is all
human beings the feeling of fulfillment
comes from doing something for another
the feeling from fulfillment comes from
the exertion of time and energy for
someone else if you are walking to work
and you throw a few pennies in a cup and
you come to work and you say to your
friends hey guys I gave a dollar to
somebody homeless this morning what are
your friends get it to say yeah good
right I gave 20 bucks to somebody
homeless they’d be like yeah good for
you right what have you come in in the
morning you say hey I gave up my
Saturday and I went and paid missus
painted a school in the inner city
people go whoa cool wow cool and all of
a sudden not only are they inspired to
do something good themselves but the
feeling that that you have persists the
amazing thing is that when we do good
for others that actually inspire
others to do good for others this is
provided for us prymatt illogically
anthropologically it’s a all part of the
survival of the species you know sex
feels good so that will do it so we can
procreate and perpetuate the species but
we’re social animals and so we have to
provide for the fact that we’ll maintain
strong bonds and build cultures right
because that’s what humans do we’re
cultural animals and so when we do good
for others and we look out for those in
our tribe we look out for those in our
group it actually feels good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for others is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we’ve replaced this
feeling the exertion of time and energy
with digital communications we’ve
replaced it with headphones we’ve
replaced it with money right think about
the invention of money right it used to
be money you know you used to be like
you go to someone’s house you cook them
dinner and the deal was they’ll do the
dishes time and energy exchange for time
and energy and someone said I’ll give
you an IOU right someone says I don’t
feel like doing the dishes so I’m gonna
give you an IOU that I promise to do
them another day right and that’s what
money is it is the promise for future
goods or services the promise of future
goods and services in other words we’ve
replaced our own time and energy with
promises for someone else to do it
another day right in other words there’s
no exertion of time and energy and so
the feeling people get is that I did
something for you and you did nothing
for me you replaced it with a piece of
paper with an eye are you with a promise
for future goods and services the way we
find fulfilment is by doing good for
others so how did the marine zoo how do
you get people to do good for others we
all know this intellectually we know
that it’s good to do good for others but
why don’t we do it then why don’t we do
it and what the Marines learned is
something that I completely did not
expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first so we all heard of the
obstacle course right the Marines have a
thing called the obstacle course and
this is where they they build an aerobic
strength and Arabic strength muscle
strength and it’s timed and all of this
good stuff they have another course
called the confidence course and it’s
never timed and most of the obstacles on
this course cannot be completed by
yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice that’s just how it’s designed
and what they say is the first two weeks
of boot camp everybody’s there to outdo
each other and prove that they’re strong
just kind of like when we start in a job
would prove we want to show how great we
are we’ll work a little harder we’ll do
good work look how good my design is
right it’s all about us and how good we
are right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do but
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long you see them
organically start helping each other and
what happens is if there’s one person
who’s weak and refuses to help each
other the others or even if there’s one
person who’s strong who’s you know I was
the star college athlete and they get to
every the end of every office to call me
just stand there and wait for everybody
to finish and they don’t help each other
what starts to happen as organically the
group starts to ostracize that person
organically they get ostracized until
they learn that the only way that they
will get through this thing the only way
they will survive boot camp is if they
ask for help because they have no option
the problem is no one will help them
until they’re willing to help another
it’s the deal we have to make it’s
called vulnerability and risk we have to
take the risk
to make ourselves vulnerable yes you
might do something for someone else and
they may not do something back for you
that’s the risk you run that’s the risk
you run it’s not about it’s not about
giving everything to them and and sort
of huge big overwhelming risk it’s about
little things and little things it’s
like going on a date right it’s like if
I went on a date with somebody I came
home and I said after one day and I said
I’m marrying her people like what are
you nuts
I’d be like I’m in love they’re like but
you’re you this is crazy I’m like I know
I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts
right now you know that you’re gonna be
like go on a couple more dates right we
know instinctively that the strong bond
that’s create that that needs to be
created first takes more than a week
right we know that right but if I’ve
been dating somebody for seven years and
we haven’t you know married you’ll be
like dude what is wrong right in other
words we know that it takes more than
seven days and we know that it takes
less than seven years the problem is we
don’t know how long it takes somewhere
in the middle all human buns are the
same like when you show up at work when
you show for the first time when you’re
new don’t expect that people will look
out for you and they won’t expect you to
look out for them in seven days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the unti that the sort of the
absolute confidence that if you turn
your back you will not get stabbed you
can rely on somebody you can give them
something nothing will go wrong you will
share the credit no one will throw you
under the bus if you don’t have that in
a few years something’s wrong
something’s wrong I don’t know how long
it takes but I know that’s more than a
week and I know it’s less than seven
years and the Marines fundamentally
understand that before anyone is willing
to put themselves out for another they
have to have self-confidence real self
confidence you have to be confident in
yourself and your own ability before
you’re willing to help another if you’re
insecure at all about your own ability
it’s an oxy it’s sort of a paradox right
how am I can I overcome my confidence
you know my self-confidence and we all
have ego issues at all times you know we
all do right but if I’m not confident
myself I won’t help another it’s a
paradox because then we need someone to
look out for us before we’re willing to
help our peers right this is what
management is supposed to do the drill
instructors the school they are there
our parents
they are there for one reason and one
reason only to help us feel strong and
good about ourselves but look at the way
we talk to each other a little bit look
a budgets been cut and so what do you
get told I need you guys to do more with
less right that’s what we’re told hey
guys I need you guys to do more with
less that’s we’re told by our clients by
our bosses by our parents this is what
we’re told right that’s like your
parents telling you when you’re young
no you’re stupid figure it out right
you’re not as smart as the other kids
what do you want me to do right it’s the
exact same thing I need you to do more
with less right what we need to be
telling people is I need you I need you
to do more with what you have right you
have capacity you have strength you have
talent you have kapap ability I need you
to do more with what you have we don’t
celebrate what we’ve got we criticize
for what we don’t have this is the
responsibility of management to take us
under their wing and help us understand
our own value to ourselves close your
eyes and think back to high school and
think of that one teacher who took you
under their wing and cared for you and
looked after you and helped you realize
that you are capable of more than you
thought you were and you and you you
probably are the person you are today in
some part because of that person right
do you have that name what’s the name
tell me the name tell me the name of the
teacher okay
give me the name okay I can point to
anybody and you can tell me that name
now tell me the names of all the other
teachers you had that day can’t remember
them Kenya this is the power of those
who teaches confidence we will literally
carry their names around with us for the
rest of our lives wouldn’t you want to
be that person wouldn’t you want to be
the person that twenty years from now 30
years from now 40 years from now I can
do this exercise with somebody and they
will tell me your name this is the power
of helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that
is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow the you carriage them to get
back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figure it out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
into others responsibility to help you
find yours and the amazing thing is as
soon as you start feeling confident in
your own ability you naturally help each
other that’s what happens it’s called
trust in the military they give medals
to people who are willing to sacrifice
themselves so that others may gain in
business we are willing to give bonuses
to people who will sacrifice others so
that we may gain we have it backwards
and then we complain about how we don’t
love our jobs and we complain about how
the work is suffering and we complain
about how budgets are being cut and we
can complain complain complain and the
first thing we do is blame each other
and become more selfish and worried
about my pay and my benefits and my this
and this is what happens when we are
unfulfilled we look at the metrics and
we say they’re not good enough when we
are fulfilled we don’t care about the
metrics this is why when you have a job
you love and you get a call that says
I’ll offer you tons more money and great
benefits you like I’m not interested I’m
not interested I I’m not interested I’m
very happy here but we’ll give you more
that’s not the reason I’m here I’m here
because I love it I’m here because I
care for the people I work with and I’m
here because the people I work with care
for me this is the world I imagine this
is the world I imagine and here’s the
great thing if you take little risks I’m
not talking about big things little
things if you start doing little things
for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he was walking down
the street and I happened to be behind
him and so my friend and I just sort of
we were in mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stopped
talking
we just bent down sort of helped him
gather his papers and them back to him
sort of pointed out that his bet book
bag was his you know
bag was unzipped and he said thanks and
we walked out it was like no big deal
right we get to the end of the the
street we stand at the that we’re
waiting it to cross the street we still
talking we haven’t stopped talking and
the guy in front of us turns to us and
says I saw you help that guy that was
really cool but here’s what’s great
about that the guy will go do something
for someone else simply because he saw
us bend down and pick up paper for
someone else he will actually go do
something for someone else because of it
right he he won’t give to charity
because he sees me put a dollar in a cup
but he will actually help someone
because he saw someone also helps
someone little things hold a door open
for someone say thank you to the person
hold the door open for you smile to the
barista little little things you know
put your foot in the subway when the
door is closing so someone who’s running
will make it hit the open at the
or pretend you didn’t see that’s the
best one you know I would if I saw sorry
all right do it a little time and a
little energy and you’ll find around
work that people get a little time and a
little energy back to you and you’ll
give a little more time and a little
more energy you go for a coffee with
someone then you go forth to our coffee
and you go for a coffee and a lunch then
you go for a lunch and a dinner then you
go for a dinner in a movie and then you
sleep over and then you sleep over two
nights and then you go on holiday
together and eventually you get married
right it’s slow it takes time and we
can’t rush it
you know if when we rush it it’s all
fake do things for others and watch
watch how much others do for you but you
know go you go get yourself a cup of
coffee from the coffee sheet machine in
the morning make one for someone else it
takes a little extra time it takes a
little extra energy that’s the point
that’s the point and here’s the best
part you will feel so good at the end of
thank you it’s a great question how do
you convince someone how do you know
sort of the metrics how do you convince
a skeptical audience of this trust
metric you don’t you don’t write you
can’t twist anybody’s arm to do
something that they don’t want to do and
you know the law of diffusion which I
obey you know as hard as as much as I
can which is you don’t need the majority
you need those people who believe what
you believe in other words if you buy if
you you know when you go sort of when
you do some nice things for people they
may not do something nice back because
they may be you know we live in a world
in which you do something for somebody
they think you want something from them
right that’s unfortunately the society
we’ve created but but that’s the risk
that we keep taking I’m not saying you
should keep doing it for somebody who
keeps doing nothing and keeps sort of
you know crapping on you because of it
then at some point you have to be like
all right my bad my bad
right and you back off you know I don’t
believe in helping everyone I do not
believe in it right this is not you know
let’s do good for everyone in the planet
that’s not what I’m talking about
mother Teresa who’s the poster child for
giving selflessly to all who need at the
end of her life started questioning the
existence of God and by the way hated
her life serious okay in other words
giving to others unabashedly is actually
self-destructive it doesn’t help right
and it’s just like going on dates with
people you don’t like doesn’t mean
there’s there’s only one machine that I
found that really accurately measures
trust better than any other sort of
metric it’s called a human being it’s
really good at it
right and so those feelings you get
trust them in one way or the other you
know it’s it’s the little risks it’s the
butterflies it’s the unsure you know
it’s the it’s the backwards it’s the
dance
it’s dating it’s the dance it’s the
nerves like I you know it’s that so if
there were if there are cynical bastards
at your office who or who don’t get it
you cannot ignore them don’t worry about
it because eventually you’ll get enough
and those people either come along or
leave or be pushed out you know
ostracized remember when the group
starts helping each other they
besides the ones who refuse to help
whether they’re strong or whether
they’re weak they get ostracized until
they learn until they learn that they
cannot survive without the help of
others and they learn that the only way
others will help them is if they if they
help the others right the order matters
the order matters I’ll just I just
thought of something that sort of we is
pervasive in our sort of you know
digital world the order matters you know
so to speak honestly about what you want
right if you are doing don’t do things
for people when you want something from
them just ask them what you want from
them and I’ll give you one little
example it’s a funny little example
we’ve all received emails that go like
this dear Simon well you wouldn’t get an
email to dear Simon but I would dear
insert your name right dear Simon
haven’t seen you in years
hope you’re well congratulations on all
you’ve been doing it’s really amazing
we should get copy sometime if you could
do me a favor I’m if you could vote for
me on this website I’m hoping to win you
know some thousand dollar prize for my
design blah blah blah
hope you’re well talk to you soon Kenny
right we’ve all received an email like
that and how do we respond to it right
now what happens if you get the same
email that goes like this dear Simon I’m
hoping you could vote for me on this
website I’m trying to win some thousand
dollar prize for my design I haven’t
seen you in years I hope you’re really
well congratulations on all that you’ve
been doing we should get a coffee
sometime thanks Kenny totally different
in other words when we know why you’re
emailing and it comes first it has a
remarkable impact we know that all those
pleasantries are just buttering us up to
get to what they want right but if you
come right out with what you want we’re
actually very grateful for the
pleasantries right it’s the same thing
in human interaction don’t give someone
a cup of coffee if you need a favor back
just ask them for the favor it builds
trust I can’t trust you every time you
do something nice for me I think you
just something what you want something
from me I won’t trust you and this is
what companies do to us right well we
did this for you why won’t you do this
for us
that’s not how it works generosity
bending down to pick up the papers
holding the door open for someone is
expecting nothing in return ever you do
not give you know this is what happens
in new business right we new business is
built on relationships and so we build
the relationship build the relationship
build the relationship until we’re
comfortable to ask for the business in
other words you were only befriending me
till the point you felt that I would let
down my guard and you could ask me for
something the whole time you were just
waiting for that time it doesn’t work
that way if you actually want to build
relationships you build relationships
without wanting anything and that’s how
you build trust you want to know why the
Marines gave me this incredible access I
mean literally they said Simon anything
you want to see you got it anything you
want to do you got it you can go we went
past sign that said no observers no
civilians beyond this point I’m like can
I take pictures like go ahead you should
see some of the pictures they’re
unbelievable right I’m like right in
there Marines coming at me we went out
to the crucible and all like you know
they’re like rolling in the dirt and
like you know going onto barbed wire and
I’m not joking either they’re like you
know unprecedented access access that
journalists would be jealous of do you
know why they gave it to me because in
all the time that I’ve been visiting
with Marines and having meetings with
them I’ve never asked for anything I
don’t want anything and I don’t have
anything to sell I just keep showing up
and say what do you need how can I help
and at some point they said when I
called up and said I need a little favor
because they know I haven’t been waiting
for the favor it’s the time now that I
have a little favor they go absolutely
whatever you need it’s called human
relationships companies don’t do
business with companies people do
business with people you know your
company didn’t win IBM as a client
somebody who like somebody said will
hire you and if they didn’t like you
they’re just you know they’re do it
they’re playing roulette well we’re
betting that you know this will work out
those are the weak relationships yes the
more we give the more it inspires others
to give but the more selfish we are the
more others become selfish around us and
so those are organizations in which
selfish behavior perfect prevails and so
we see the residual effect which is they
make decisions that ultimately screw us
they destroy our economy because of
their selfish behavior right we know
this is what what what happens same in
politics right and the answer is don’t
worry about it I know it sounds silly
and usually you out you mean your first
question is do I talk about these things
to them I will talk to anyone who will
listen you know but I don’t talk to
people who don’t want to listen the good
news is there are some good eggs and
there are some of them who’ve had
conversions where they were the bastards
who believed in firing people in
screwing people to advance their careers
and something happens I just met a guy
recently he was a very senior executive
at a very very large company and
something happened and he like he got
like hit in the head or something and he
realized holy cow I have to look after
people right and they become obsessed
with it and they start sticking their
necks out and and we just need those
champions scattered around and this is
what I do the more I spread this message
the more it’s sort of it’s it’s kind of
like you know in the in the cartoons
sort of the whole of Justice you know
the message goes out they all sort of
like you know wherever they are like you
know that they poke their heads up it’s
that kind of thing the more we talk
about it the more we put it in our work
you know because don’t forget you’re
gonna help someone who goes home feeling
good and their husband or their wife
works in the bank and they’re gonna talk
how much about they’d love to and that
might inspire that / you know it’s it
has all these residual impacts that that
we don’t really know this is the funny
thing about the internet which is we’re
so proud of the internet that we can
measure everything no you can’t you can
only measure one layer right so for
example you say Simon what’s the impact
you’re having I don’t know is the answer
right I know it’s it’s I know that it’ll
take more than a week and I will take
seven years but I don’t know when it’s
gonna happen and I don’t know how it’s
gonna get there right all I can do is is
do it right but I have no clue how we’ll
win and so for example I can measure
book sales and I can measure how many
hits and I can measure how many people
have watched a TED talk and all of this
but I can’t measure you know that TED
talk being shown to a room of 50 people
and one of those 50 people doesn’t buy a
book doesn’t watch a TED talk doesn’t do
anything but goes out and does something
good for somebody else I have no way of
measuring that and so we’re so proud of
the Internet and its ability to measure
everything but we’re measuring one layer
where we used to measure no layers it’s
like you know this is how people work
it’s it’s it’s gossamer you know it’s
networked and so the answer is don’t
worry about them don’t worry about them
worry about the people who you can care
for who you can give to and when we
reach a critical mass in society it will
tip right and if you don’t believe me
the reason it is the way it is now is
because it tipped the wrong way there
was no such thing as massive layoffs as
business strategy prior to ninth in the
1980s it just wasn’t done it was done
here and there but it wasn’t strategy
the idea of using layoffs to balance the
books is a relatively new phenomenon
that came for the increase of
selfishness in the Gordon Gekko Greta’s
good 1980s boom right and this was also
the same exact period the 1980s where
the theory the theory of shareholder
value was put forward right because they
had all these people buying large
companies and installing professional
managers to run the companies that they
bought that they invested in and they
had a problem which is those
professional managers were paid for by
the company and those professional
managers cared for the employees and the
customers and so the investors said how
do we protect our investment
we’ve got an idea we’re going to give
them equity in the company and bonus
them based on the performance right and
so the shift happened where the CEOs
started caring more about the investors
and stopped caring about the customers
and employees those were theories
introduced by some Harvard professor in
the 1980s we can push it back the other
way right we can push it back the other
way
but we just have to and there’s just
there’s a there was a just the other day
which company was it one of the large
banks where the shareholder is citibank
citibank yeah citibank the shareholders
voted majority shareholders voted
against a fat pay package that’s
unprecedented it has never happened even
in hard times even when the company’s
doing this the shareholders just it’s
just sort of a cursory thing where they
approve the fifteen million dollar bonus
for the CEO they voted against it it’s
non-binding but it sends a shot across
the bow saying shareholders now want you
to be bonus if you do something good for
all right the point is is that it’s it’s
starting to crack and so let’s just
stick our finger in the crack you know
make sure that it keeps cracking it’s
one one way we can swing it back the
question was can I talk about
celebrating accomplishment while still
asking for more right tutu
so so they did a study on kids who are
really really smart like an older gifted
classes why is it when you smart you’re
gifted when you’re stupid you’re special
why is that I was told my whole life I
was special
it’s not you never gifted they took the
gifted kids who were constantly told
you’re so good
oh thanks for do well oh you’re the
you’re our best employee you know you’re
our best student you’re awesome
right and what happens is later in life
they actually suffer because they’re
very afraid of taking risk because
they’re very afraid of losing their
position on the mantle okay
kids who are sort of more average who
constantly are rewarded not for their
accomplishment but for their effort
great effort really proud of the
improvement you made what they find is
they do very well in life because
there’s no shelf there’s always more
there’s more effort right and so you
want to reward and acknowledge effort
even if they don’t hit the goal it’s
that the Delta but at the same time if
it goes backwards you’d be like dude
what’s going on it’s like we don’t get
we shouldn’t be giving ribbons for
everyone who competes right because what
we’re teaching people is if you do
nothing you get a medal right and the
funny thing is is we start with creating
a generation that’s feeling very Hollow
and feeling you know this sense of
entitlement that people complain about
gen-y the entitlement is I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything and the
funny thing is about human beings is we
we the way we feel accomplished is when
we exert energy and time and reach a
destination right and the more energy
and time that we have to suffer through
especially if we suffer together and we
get somewhere it is overwhelming think
about the best jobs you’ve ever worked
on was it the best design was it the
best results that the company has
because of your your project or was it
an absolute hell project that you work
together and you came out on the other
end and that you got it done at the
deadline and you’re like that was
amazing it was the hell projects it was
the things that we had to go out of our
ways more do things for each other right
things we weren’t thinking of doing I
was wrapping packages I was doing stuff
that aren’t designers aren’t supposed to
do going you know this is what produces
that right and so the the the the the
thing is about measurement and
destination reward imagine we’re
standing in a big empty room right and
we’re standing in one corner and I give
you a simple instruction I want you to
go to that corner in a straight line
right I figure out no big deal right
without telling you I slip a chair in
front of you what do you do you go
around the chair
now you just disobeyed what I told you
to do I told you to go to that corner
straight line but this is the amazing
things about human beings which is when
we’re given a clear destination we use
our own creativity and our own sense of
innovation and our own problem-solving
abilities to overcome obstacles to get
to the destination in other words the
destination is more important than the
route right we are flexible about the
route we’re obsessed with the
destination reset we’re standing in the
corner together and I give you a simple
instruction go somewhere in this room in
a straight line and you say to me well
where do you want me to go I’m like I
don’t know you smart figure it out go in
a straight line and so you pick a point
and you start walking and without
telling you I put a chair in front of
you and what do you do you come to a
grinding halt I say what you stopped for
you go will you put a chair in front of
me or you’ll make a sudden turn and go
in another direction right and this is
the problem it’s the same obstacle the
difference is when you have a clear set
a clear destination the obstacles become
easy to overcome when you don’t have a
clear destination you keep coming to a
grinding halt and what we do in our
companies is we’re counting the steps
we’re taking along the route but we’re
never looking at the destination right
so companies has made in million dollars
this year we were only planning on
making eight hundred thousand like we
took ten steps or any planning I’m
taking eight where you going
no clue right we count the steps and so
the point is is that people want to feel
that the effort that they’re exerting
actually are moving somewhere and so
successful measurement successful
recognition is not just for the steps
you take it’s not just for the effort
it’s that the effort you exerted moved
us closer to where we’re trying to get
to and that get to should be some crazy
ideal my ideal is to live in a world in
which the vast majority of people wake
up every single morning
you know inspire to go to work and
fulfilled by the work that they do and
the the couple of measurements that I
use are if the book is selling and I by
the way people ask me how many have you
sold I have no clue I’ve never asked the
publisher because they don’t care I
really don’t care how many I’ve sold
what I care about is the Amazon rankings
and that those are going steady or up
and not plummeting because that means
other people right because I don’t have
a publicist I don’t have a marketing
strategy on purpose I didn’t hire one of
those companies to sell the book for me
and the reason is is because I’m not
interested in book sales I’m interested
in spreading an idea and so I just use
that as a metric to help me understand
am I sort of marching in the because the
more I preach is it resonating you know
and so you have a couple of these
imperfect measurements that help you
understand are you going along the way
so it’s not just great effort look what
you achieved because that’s what we’re
doing now right our goal is to increase
top-line revenues by 50 million dollars
for what reason right
which is we have to know the destination
and then we say amazing you took us that
much closer and if we go to the right
it’s because we were overcoming an
obstacle if we hadn’t gone to the right
we would have been stuck forever thank
you you know it’s not always straight
lines it’s not always straight lines but
it’s it’s in one direction she’s pulling
the cane out thank you very very much [Applause]
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