are currently about 250,000 people a
year who were dying in our hospitals due
to due to preventable deaths and I’m not
talking about negligence I’m talking
about little accidents right I’m talking
about the doctor in the morning not
properly briefing the doctor for the
evening you know I’m talking about
things that you know we can’t sue
anybody there’s nothing there’s nothing
that we can see that’s wrong but there’s
250,000 preventable deaths every year
that’s about 20 747s going down every
single week that’s what’s the equivalent
to and the confusing thing is that we
have the best doctors in the world we
have the most advanced technology in the
world some of the medical equipment we
have is the best in the world the
medicines we have are the best in the
world so you start asking yourselves why
are these things happening and the
reason is not because of any of those
things the reasons are actually
something vastly more simple something
very very human 5% of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for
because what we’ve done is we’ve created
cultures and hospitals where the people
who are doing the caring are cared for
and so all of these little preventable
deaths are happening because they don’t
feel like they’re a part of anything
they’re just doing their jobs and they
don’t get along that well and there’s
not a lot of camaraderie and the impact
is death right now I use this example
because it’s exaggerated because the
impact is so powerful but the problem is
the same in our own companies right
which is we come to work and we’re told
you must care for your clients you must
care for your customers you must make
them the focus of all you do and yet why
aren’t the people who are managing us
from the top caring about us so yes in a
hospital the impact is worse but the
impact that we’re having on the outside
world is just as bad in other words
we’re not working at our best we don’t
care for the things we’re doing we’re
not helping each other is the most
important part and the residual impact
is that we are unfulfilled by the work
that we do and when we run fulfilled by
the work that we do we focus on the
details and when we focus on the details
we retract from each other when we track
from each other we feel lonely and when
we feel lonely cancer goes up heart
disease goes up diabetes goes up in
other words by going to work we’re
killing ourselves literally there’s
another study that was released not that
long ago that says that parents who work
late the negative impact that it has on
their children is little to none they
may feel guilty as parents but the
negative impact that it has on the
raising of their children is little to
none however parents who come home from
jobs they hate or don’t love their kids
are more likely to be bullies at school
and now you think about the bullying
epidemic we have in America right where
there’s this disturbing number of young
children who are killing themselves
suicides because of bullies the problem
is not the schools and the problem isn’t
even the parenting the problem is the
jobs the parents have this is the
importance and this is the power of the
work that we do in the places we go to
work right most of us mean like we
listen to the the the unemployment’s the
sistex they say you know we’re
all-time-high record-high nine to ten
percent unemployment right and people go
mike oh that’s terrible
and i hear that number and i go well
that means ninety-one percent still have
a job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent are still going to
work the question is how many of them
are coming home fulfilled by the work
that they do and how many of them are
waking up inspired to go back to work
the next day if we don’t love our works
we don’t look out for each other if we
don’t look out for each other we feel
lonely if we don’t feel lonely all these
negative things happen
so what example can i share with a
creative audience about how to change
this the United States Marine Corps I
had the great honor last week of
spending a week with the Marines I spent
a couple days at Camp Lejeune and then I
went for a few days to Parris Island to
watch them go through boot camp and this
isn’t a room it’s a remarkable
remarkable human experiment that they’re
doing and even though they know what
works they don’t know why it works but
they don’t need to know why because they
know that it works right but what’s
happening is they’re taking a group of
strangers people who don’t know each
other who were showing up and within a
very very short period of time learn to
trust each other so much that they would
give their lives for each other right
and we know everyone sort of anyone
who’s ever worn a human reform knows
that no one runs into battle for God and
country it doesn’t happen it’s for the
guy to the left of me and the guy to the
right of me that’s the reason they do
what they do right and these sort of
remarkable stories of heroism where
people rush into very very dangerous
situations to save others and they
always ask the question why did you do
it why would you risk your life why
would you put yourself at risk for them
and the answer is always the same
because they would do it for me in other
words what gives them the confidence to
put themselves at great risk is the
knowledge that someone would do the same
for them we would put ourselves a great
risk for our companies if we knew that
our companies would put themselves a
great risk for us but they don’t
so we don’t now one of the things that’s
remarkable about the Marines and if you
go read and you know this is the most I
asked these young and they’re 21 22
years old some of these of these lance
corporals the grunts you know the guys
the infantry I mean this is the lowest
of the low that ones we actually send in
to battle the frontlines and I asked
them are you misunderstood in America
and they said yes unanimously they all
nodded I said what what do people think
of you and one stood up and says they
think we’re baby killers I said how does
it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine tell me a story that
captures it and I expected to hear
stories of I took a hit and somebody
save me or I ran into a firefight and
pulled something I expected these
stories of heroism not a single story
like that came out and I’m sure those
stories exist but those aren’t that all
the stories they told me that capture
what it means to be a Marine
one of the stories they told me was a
young boy in Afghanistan who would come
around every morning and sell kebabs to
the Marines and then one day he showed
up and he was all beaten up and he
didn’t go to his parents for help and he
didn’t go to his friends to help he came
to the Marines for help because he
trusted them more than anyone else they
told me a story that captured how they
feel of a sevilla j– that had been
overrun by the taliban and the residents
of the village could couldn’t go home
because they would be killed by the
taliban and so they were just living by
the river the problem was winter was
coming and one of the the elders came to
the Marines knocked on the door and said
I need you to come down to the river and
kill us
and the Marine said what are you talking
about it says if we go back home we’ll
be killed by the Taliban and if we stay
out there we’re gonna die slow deaths
this winter it’s easier if you just come
and kill us please
the Marines overran the Taliban village
pushed the Taliban out a year later they
went back to this village and people
were playing volleyball these were the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine they believed in
doing good for others and the
fulfillment they get when they put
themselves at risk so that others may
prevail is overwhelming this is not
unique to the Marine Corps this is all
human beings the feeling of fulfillment
comes from doing something for another
the feeling from fulfillment comes from
the exertion of time and energy for
someone else if you are walking to work
and you throw a few pennies in a cup and
you come to work and you say to your
friends hey guys I gave a dollar to
somebody homeless this morning what are
you friends gonna say yeah good right I
gave 20 bucks to somebody homeless
they’d be like good for you right what
have you coming in the morning you say
hey I gave up my Saturday night I paid
mrs. paint at a school in the inner-city
people go whoa cool wow cool and all of
a sudden not only are they inspired to
do something good themselves but the
feeling that that you have persists
amazing thing is that when we do good
for others it actually inspires others
to do good for others this is provided
for us prema to logically
anthropologically it’s a all part of the
survival of the species you know sex
feels good so that will do it so we can
procreate and perpetuate the species but
we’re social animals and so we have to
provide for the fact that we’ll maintain
strong bonds and build cultures right
because that’s what humans do or
cultural animals and so when we do good
for others and we look out for those in
our tribe we look out for those in our
group it actually feels good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for those is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we’ve replaced this
feeling the exertion of time and energy
with digital communications we’ve
replaced it with headphones we’ve
replaced it with money right think about
the invention of money right
it used to be money you know used to be
like you go to someone’s house you cook
them dinner and the deal was they’ll do
the dishes time and energy exchange for
time and energy and someone said I’ll
give you an IOU right someone says I
don’t feel like doing the dishes so I’m
gonna give you an IOU that I promise to
do them another day right and that’s
what money is it is the promise for
future goods or services the promise of
future goods and services in other words
we’ve replaced our own time and energy
with promises for someone else to do it
another day right in other words there’s
no exertion of time and energy and so
the feeling people get is that I did
something for you and you did nothing
for me you replaced it with a piece of
paper with an eye are you with a promise
for future goods and services the way we
find fulfillment is by doing good for
others so how do the marine zoo how do
you get people to do good for others we
all know this intellectually we know
that it’s good to do good for others but
why don’t we do it then why don’t we do
it and what the Marines learned is
something that I completely did not
expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first
so we all heard of the obstacle course
right the Marines had a thing called the
obstacle course and this is where they
they build an aerobic strength and
aerobic strength muscle strength and
it’s timed and all of this good stuff
they have another course called the
confidence course and it’s never timed
and most of the obstacles on this course
cannot be completed by yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice that’s just how it’s designed
and what they say is the first two weeks
of boot camp everybody’s there to outdo
each other and prove that they’re strong
just kind of like when we start in a job
would prove we want to show how great we
are we’ll work a little hard it will do
good work look how good my design is
right it’s all about us and how good we
are right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long you see them
organically start helping each other and
what happens is if there’s one person
who’s weak and refuses to help each
other the others or even if there’s one
person who’s strong who’s you know I was
the star college athlete they get to
every the end of every obstacle they
just stand there wait for everybody to
finish and they don’t help each other
what starts to happen as organically the
group starts to ostracize that person
organically they get ostracized until
they learn that the only way that they
will get through this thing the only way
they will survive boot camp is if they
ask for help because they have no option
the problem is no one will help them
until they’re willing to help another
it’s the deal we have to make it’s
called vulnerability and risk we have to
take the risk to make ourselves
vulnerable yes you might do something
for someone else and they may not do
something back for you that’s the risk
you run that’s the risk you run it’s not
about it’s not about giving everything
to them and and sort of huge big
overwhelming risk it’s about little
things and little things it’s like going
on a date right it’s like if I went on a
date with somebody I came home and I
said after one date I said
I’m marrying her people like what do you
nuts
I’d be like I’m alone they like but
you’re you just it’s crazy I’m like I
know I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts right now you know that you’re
gonna be like go on a couple more dates
right we know instinctively that the
strong bond that’s create that that
needs to be created first takes more
than a week right we know that right but
if I’ve been dating somebody for seven
years and we haven’t you know married
you’d be like dude what is wrong right
in other words we know that it takes
more than seven days and we know that it
takes less than seven years the problem
is we don’t know how long it takes
somewhere in the middle all human buns
are the same like when you show up at
work when you show for the first time
when you’re new don’t expect that people
will look out for you and they won’t
expect you to look out for them in seven
days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the UH that the sort of the
absolute confidence that if you turn
your back you will not get stabbed you
can rely on somebody you can give them
something nothing will go wrong you will
share the credit no one will throw you
under the bus if you don’t have that in
a few years something’s wrong
something’s wrong I don’t know how long
it takes but I know that’s more than a
week and I know it’s less than seven
years and the Marines fundamentally
understand that before anyone is willing
to put themselves out for another they
have to have self-confidence real self
confidence you have to be confident in
yourself and your own ability before
you’re willing to help another if you’re
insecure at all about your own ability
it’s an oxy it’s sort of a paradox right
how am I can I overcome my confidence
you know my self-confidence and we all
have ego issues at all times you know we
all do right but if I’m not confident
myself I won’t help another it’s a
paradox because then we need someone to
look out for us before we’re willing to
help our peers right this is what
management is supposed to do
the drill instructors the school they
are there our parents they are there for
one reason and one reason only to help
us feel strong and good about ourselves
but look at the way we talk to each
other but look at them look a budgets
been cut and so what do you get told I
need you guys to do more with less right
that’s what we’re told hey guys I need
you guys to do more with less
that’s we’re told by our clients by our
buses by our parents that’s what we’re
told right that’s like your parents
telling you when you’re young I know
you’re stupid figure it out right you’re
not as smart as the other kids what do
you want me to do right it’s the exact
same thing I need you to do more with
less right what we need to be telling
people is I need you I need you to do
more with what you have right you have
capacity you have strength you have
talent you have compatibility I need you
to do more with what you have we don’t
celebrate what we’ve got we criticize
for what we don’t have this is the
responsibility of management to take us
under their wing and help us understand
our own value to ourselves close your
eyes and think back to high school and
think of that one teacher who took you
under their wing and cared for you and
looked after you and helped you realize
that you are capable of more than you
thought you were and you and you you
probably are the person you are today in
some part because of that person right
you have that name what’s the name
tell me the name tell me the name of the
teacher okay
give me the name okay I can point to
anybody and you can tell me that name
now tell me the names of all the other
teachers you had that day can’t remember
them Kenya this is the power of those
who teaches confidence we will literally
carry their names around with us for the
rest of our lives wouldn’t you want to
be that person wouldn’t you want to be
the person that 20 years from now 30
years from now 40 years from now I can
do this exercise with somebody and they
will tell me your name this is the power
of helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow they you Carriger them to
get back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figured out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
into others responsibility to help you
find yours and the amazing thing is as
soon as you start feeling comforted in
your own ability you naturally help each
other that’s what happens it’s called
trust in the military they give medals
to people who are willing to sacrifice
themselves so that others may gain in
business we are willing to give bonuses
to people who will sacrifice others so
that we may gain we have it backwards
and then we complain about how we don’t
love our jobs and we complain about how
the work is suffering and we complain
about how budgets are being cut and we
can complain complain complain and the
first thing we do is blame each other
and become more selfish and worried
about my pay and my benefits and my this
and this is what happens when we are
unfulfilled we look at the metrics and
we say they’re not good enough when we
are fulfilled we don’t care about the
metrics this is why when you have a job
you love and you get a call that says
I’ll offer you tons more money and great
benefits you like I’m not interested I’m
not interested I I’m not interested I’m
very happy here but we’ll give you more
that’s not the reason I’m here I’m here
because I love it I’m here because I
care for the people I work with and I’m
here because the people I work with care
for me this is the world I imagine this
is the world I imagine
and here’s the great thing if you take
little risks I’m not talking about big
things little things if you start doing
little things for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he’s walking down the
street and I happen to be behind him and
so my friend and I just sort of be
written mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stop talking
we just bent down sort of help them
gather his papers and them back to him
sort of pointed out that his bet book
bag was his you know his backpack was
unzipped and he said thanks when we
walked on it was like no big deal
right we get to the end of the the
street and we stand at that we’re
waiting it’s across the street we still
talking we haven’t stopped talking and
the guy in front of us turns to us and
but here’s what’s great about that the
guy will go do something for someone
else simply because he saw us bend down
and pick up paper of his own he will
actually go do something for some
right he won’t give to charity because
he sees me put a dollar in a cup if he
will actually help someone because he
saw someone also helps someone little
things hold a door open for someone say
thank you to the person hold the door
open for you smile to the barista little
little things you know put your foot in
the subway when the door is closing so
someone who’s running will make it hit
the open at the elevator don’t go or
pretend you didn’t see that’s the best
one
you know sorry alright do it a little
time and a little energy and you’ll find
around work that people get a little
time and a little energy back to you and
you’ll give a little more time and a
little more energy you go for a coffee
with someone then you go forth to our
coffee and you go for a coffee and a
lunch then you go for a lunch and a
dinner then you go for a dinner in a
movie and then you sleep over and then
you sleep over two nights and then you
go on holiday together and eventually
you get married right it’s slow it takes
time and we can’t rush it you know if
when we rush it it’s all fake do things
for others and watch watch how much
others do for you but you know go you go
get yourself a cup of coffee from the
coffee sheet machine in the morning make
one for someone else it takes a little
extra time it takes a little extra
energy that’s the point
that’s the point and here’s the best
part you will feel so good at the end of
the day
so good
thank you it’s a great question how do
you convince someone how do you know so
to order the metrics how do you convince
a skeptical audience of this trust
metric you don’t you don’t write you
can’t twist anybody’s arm to do
something that they don’t want to do and
you know the law of diffusion which I
obey you know as hard as that as much as
I can which is you don’t need the
majority you need those people who
believe what you believe in other words
if you buy if you you know when you go
sort of when you do some nice things for
people they may not do something nice
back because they may be you know we
live in a world in which you do
something for somebody they think you
want something from them right that’s
unfortunately the society we’ve created
but but that’s the risk that we keep
taking I’m not saying you should keep
doing it for somebody who keeps doing
nothing and keeps sort of you know
crapping on you because of it then at
some point you have to be like all right
my bad my bad
right and you back off you know I don’t
believe in helping everyone I do not
believe in it right this is not you know
let’s do good for everyone in the on the
planet that’s not what I’m talking about
mother Teresa who’s the poster child for
giving selflessly to all who need at the
end of her life started questioning the
existence of God and by the way hated
her life
serious okay in other words giving to
others unabashedly is actually
self-destructive it doesn’t help
right and it’s just like going on dates
with people you don’t like doesn’t mean
you’ll eventually click in math right
the there’s there’s only one machine
that I found that really accurately
measures trust better than any other
sort of metric it’s called a human being
it’s really good at it
right and so those feelings you get
trust them in one way or the other you
know it’s if the little risks it’s the
butterflies it’s the unsure you know
it’s the it’s the backwards it’s the
dense
it’s dating it’s the dance it’s the
nerves like I you know it’s that so if
there were if there are cynical bastards
at your office who
who don’t get it ignore ignore him don’t
worry about it because eventually you’ll
get enough and those people either come
along or leave or be pushed out you know
ostracized remember when the group
starts helping each other they ostracize
the ones who refuse to help whether
they’re strong or whether they’re weak
they get ostracized until they learn
until they learn that they cannot
survive without the help of others and
they learn that the only way others will
help them is if they if they help the
others right the order matters the order
matters I’ll just I just thought of
something that sort of we is pervasive
in our sort of you know digital world
the order matters you know so to speak
honestly about what you want right if
you are doing don’t do things for people
when you want something from them just
ask them what you want from them and
I’ll give you one little example it’s a
funny little example we’ve all received
emails that go like this dear Simon well
you wouldn’t get an email to your
assignment but I will dear insert your
name right dear Simon haven’t seen you
in years
hope you’re well congratulations on all
you’ve been doing it’s really amazing
we should get copy sometime if you could
do me a favor I’m if you could vote for
me on this website I’m hoping to win you
know some thousand dollar prize for my
design blah blah blah hope you’re well
talk to you soon
Kenny right we’ve all received an email
like that and how do we respond to it
right now what happens if you get the
same email that goes like this dear
Simon I’m hoping you could vote for me
on this website I’m trying to win some
thousand dollar prize for my design I
haven’t seen you in years
I hope you really well congratulations
on all that you’ve been doing we should
get a coffee sometime Thanks
Kenny totally different in other words
when we know why you’re emailing and it
comes first it has a remarkable impact
we know that all those pleasantries are
just buttering us up to get to what they
want right but if you come right out
with what you want we’re actually very
grateful for the pleasantries right it’s
the same thing in human interaction
don’t get someone a cup of coffee if you
need a favor back just ask them for the
favor it builds trust I can’t trust you
every time you do something nice to me I
think you just something what you want
something from me I won’t trust you and
this is what companies do to us right
well we did this for you why won’t you
do this for us
that’s not how it works generosity
bending down to pick up the papers
holding the door open for someone is
expecting nothing in return
ever you do not give you know this is
what happens in new business right we
new business is built on relationships
and so we build the relationship build
the relationship build the relationship
until we’re comfortable to ask for the
business in other words you were only
befriending me till the point you felt
that I would let down my guard and you
could ask me for something the whole
time you were just waiting for that time
it doesn’t work that way if you actually
want to build relationships you build
relationships without wanting anything
and that’s how you build trust you want
to know why the Marines gave me this
incredible access I mean literally they
said Simon anything you want to see you
got it anything you want to do you got
it you can go it we went past sign that
said no observers no civilians beyond
this point I’m like can I take pictures
like go ahead you should see some of the
pictures they’re unbelievable right I’m
like right in there Marines coming at me
we went out to the crucible and roll
like you know they’re like rolling in
the dirt and like you know going onto
barbed wire and I’m like I’m not joking
either they’re like you know
unprecedented access access that
journalists would be jealous of do you
know why they gave it to me
because in all the time that I’ve been
visiting with Marines and having
meetings with them I’ve never asked for
anything I don’t want anything and I
don’t have anything to sell I just keep
showing up and say what do you need how
can I help and at some point they said
when I called and said I need a little
favor because they know I haven’t been
waiting for the favor it’s the time now
that I have a little favor they go
absolutely whatever you need it’s called
human relationships companies don’t do
business with companies people do
business with people you know your
company didn’t win IBM as a client
somebody who like somebody said will
hire you and if they didn’t like you
they’re just you know they’re do it
they’re playing roulette well we’re
betting that you know this will work out
those are the weak relationships yes
yeah the more we give the more inspires
others to give but the more selfish we
are the more others become selfish
around us and so those are organizations
in which selfish behavior perfect
prevails and so we see the residual
effect which is they make decisions that
ultimately screw us they destroy our
economy because of their selfish
behavior right we know this is what what
what happens same in politics right and
the answer is don’t worry about it I
know it sounds silly and you say you
mean your first question is do I talk
about these things to them I will talk
to anyone who will listen you know but I
don’t talk to people who don’t want to
listen the good news is there are some
good eggs and there are some of them
who’ve had conversions where they were
the bastards who believed in firing
people and screwing people to advance
their careers and something happens I
just met a guy recently he was a very
senior executive at a very very large
company and something happened and he
like he got like hit in the head or
something and he realized holy cow I
have to look after people right and they
become obsessed with it and they start
sticking their necks out and and we just
need those champions scattered around
and this is what I do the more I spread
this message the more it’s sort of it’s
it’s kind of like um you know in the in
the cartoons you sort of the whole of
justice you know that the message goes
out they all sort of like you know
wherever they are like you know that
they poke their heads up it’s that kind
of thing the more we talk about it the
more we put it in our work you know
because don’t forget you’re gonna help
someone who goes home feeling good and
their husband or their wife works in the
bank and they’re gonna talk how much
about they’d love to and that might
inspire that person you know it’s it has
all of these residual impacts that we
don’t really know this is the funny
thing about the internet which is we’re
so proud of the internet that we can
measure everything no you can’t you can
only measure one layer right so for
example you say Simon what’s the impact
you’re having I don’t know is the answer
right I know it’s it’s I know that it’ll
take more than a week and I will take
seven years but I don’t know when it’s
gonna happen and I don’t know how it’s
gonna get there right all I can do is is
do it right but I have no clue how we’ll
win and so for example I can measure
book sales and I can measure how many
hits and I can measure how many people
watched a TED talk and all of this but I
can’t measure you know
that TED talk being shown to a room of
50 people and one of those 50 people
doesn’t buy a book doesn’t watch a TED
talk doesn’t do anything but goes out
and does something good for somebody
else I have no way of measuring that and
so we’re so proud of the internet and
its ability to measure everything but
we’re measuring one layer where we used
to measure no layers it’s like you know
this is how people work it’s it’s it’s
gossamer you know it’s networked and so
the answer is don’t worry about them
don’t worry about them worry about the
people who you can care for who you can
give to and when we reach a critical
mass in society it will tip right and if
you don’t believe me the reason it is
the way it is now is because it tipped
the wrong way there was no such thing as
massive layoffs as as business strategy
prior to night in the 1980s it just
wasn’t done it was done here and there
but it wasn’t strategy the idea of using
layoffs to balance the books is a
relatively new phenomenon that came for
the increase of selfishness in the
Gordon Gekko greed is good 1980s boom
right and this was also the same exact
period the 1980s where the theory the
theory of shareholder value was put
forwards right because they had all
these people buying large companies and
installing professional managers to run
the companies that they bought that they
invested in and they had a problem which
is those professional managers were paid
for by the company and those
professional managers cared for the
employees and the customers and so the
investors said how do we protect our
investments we’ve got an idea
we’re going to give them equity in the
company and bonus them based on the
performance right and so the shift
happened where the CEOs started caring
more about the investors and stopped
caring about the customers and employees
those were theories introduced by some
Harvard professor in the 1980s we can
push it back the other way
right we can push it back the other way
but we just have to and there was a just
the other day which company was it one
of the large banks where the
shareholders citibank citibank yeah
citibank the shareholders voted majority
shareholders voted against a fat pay
package that’s unprecedented it has
never happened even in hard times even
when the company’s doing this the
shareholders just it’s just sort of a
cursory thing where they approve the
fifteen million dollar bonus but
they voted against it it’s non-binding
but it sends a shot across the bow
saying shareholders now want you to be
bonused if you do something good for
others even if the others is us alright
the point is is that it’s it’s starting
to crack and so let’s just stick our
finger in the crack you know make sure
that keeps cracking
it’s one one way we can swing it back
the question was can I talk about
celebrating accomplishment while still
asking for more right – two – so they
did a study on kids who are really
really smart like an older gifted
classes why is it when you smart you’re
gifted when you’re stupid you’re special
why is that I was told my whole life I
they took the gifted kids who are
constantly told you’re so good oh thanks
but I knew you’d do well oh you’re the
you’re our best employee you know you’re
our best student you’re awesome
right and what happens is later in life
they actually suffer because they’re
very afraid of taking risk because
they’re very afraid of losing their
position on the mantle okay kids who are
sort of more average who constantly are
rewarded not for their accomplishment
but for their effort
great effort really proud of the
improvement you made what they find is
they do very well in life because
there’s no shelf there’s always more
there’s more effort right and so you
want to reward and acknowledge effort
even if they don’t hit the goal it’s
that the Delta but at the same time if
it goes backwards you’d be like dude
what’s going on it’s like we don’t get
we shouldn’t be giving ribbons for
everyone who competes right because what
we’re teaching people is if you do
nothing you get a medal right and the
funny thing is is we start with creating
a generation that’s feeling very Hollow
and feeling you know this sense of
entitlement that people complain about
gen-y the entitlement is I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything and the
funny thing is about human beings is we
we the way we feel accomplished is when
we exert energy and time and reach a
destination right and the more energy
and time that we have to suffer through
especially if we suffer together and we
get somewhere it is overwhelming think
about the best jobs you’ve ever worked
on was it the best design was it the
best results that the company had
because of your your project or was it
an absolute hell project that you work
together and you came out on the other
end and that you got it done at the
deadline and you’re like that was
amazing it was the hell projects it was
the things that we had to go out of our
ways more do things for each other right
things we weren’t thinking of doing I
was wrapping packages I was doing stuff
that aren’t designers aren’t supposed to
do going you know this is what produces
that right and so the the the the the
thing is about measurement and
destination reward imagine we’re
standing
in a big empty room right and we’re
standing in one corner and I give you a
simple instruction I want you to go to
that corner in a straight line right off
you go
no big deal right without telling you I
slip a chair in front of you
what do you do you go around the chair
now you just disobeyed what I told you
to do I told you to go to that corner
straight line but this is the amazing
things about human beings which is when
we’re given a clear destination we use
our own creativity and our own sense of
innovation and our own problem-solving
abilities to overcome obstacles to get
to the destination in other words the
destination is more important than the
route right we’re flexible about the
route we’re obsessed with the
destination reset we’re standing in the
corner together and I give you a simple
instruction go somewhere in this room in
a straight line and you say to me well
where do you want to go I’m like I don’t
know you’re smart figure it out go in a
straight line and so you pick a point
and you start walking and without
telling you I put a chair in front of
you and what do you do you come to a
grinding halt I say what you stopped for
you go will you put a chair in front of
me or you’ll make a sudden turn and go
in another direction right and this is
the problem it’s the same obstacle the
difference is when you have a clear set
a clear destination the obstacles become
easy to overcome when you don’t have a
clear destination you keep coming to a
grinding halt and what we do in our
companies is we’re counting the steps
we’re taking along the route but we’re
never looking at the destination right
so company says made in million dollars
this year we were only planning on
making eight hundred thousand like we
took ten steps when we planning on
taking 8 where are you going no clue
right we count the steps and so the
point is is that people want to feel
that the effort that they’re exerting
actually are moving somewhere and so
successful measurement successful
recognition is not just for the steps
you take it’s not just for the effort
it’s that the effort you exert it moved
us closer to where we’re trying to get
to and that get to should be some crazy
ideal my ideal is to live in a world in
which the vast majority of people wake
up every single morning
you know inspire to go to work and
fulfilled by the work that they do and
the the couple of measurements that I
use are if the book is selling and I buy
the way people ask me how many have you
sold I have no clue I’ve never asked the
publisher because I don’t care I really
don’t care how many I sold what I care
about is the Amazon rankings and that
those are going steady or up and
plummeting because that means other
people right because I don’t have a
publicist I don’t have a marketing
strategy on purpose I didn’t hire one of
those companies to sell the book for me
and the reason is is because I’m not
interested in book sales I’m interested
in spreading of an idea and so I just
used that as a metric to help me
understand am I sort of marching in the
because the more I preach is it
resonating you know and so you have a
couple of these imperfect measurements
that help you understand are you going
along the way so it’s not just great
effort look what you achieved because
that’s what we’re doing now right our
goal is to increase top-line revenues by
50 million dollars for what reason right
which is we have to know the destination
and then we say amazing you took us that
much closer and if we go to the right
it’s because we were overcoming an
obstacle if we hadn’t gone to the right
we would have been stuck forever
thank you you know it’s not always
straight lines it’s not always straight
lines but it’s it’s in one direction
she’s playing the cane out
thank you very very much
[Applause] [Music]
year who were dying in our hospitals due
to due to preventable deaths and I’m not
talking about negligence I’m talking
about little accidents right I’m talking
about the doctor in the morning not
properly briefing the doctor for the
evening you know I’m talking about
things that you know we can’t sue
anybody there’s nothing there’s nothing
that we can see that’s wrong but there’s
250,000 preventable deaths every year
that’s about 20 747s going down every
single week that’s what’s the equivalent
to and the confusing thing is that we
have the best doctors in the world we
have the most advanced technology in the
world some of the medical equipment we
have is the best in the world the
medicines we have are the best in the
world so you start asking yourselves why
are these things happening and the
reason is not because of any of those
things the reasons are actually
something vastly more simple something
very very human 5% of hospital
administrators are doctors most of them
are number crunchers hospitals are run
like businesses hospitals are run by the
numbers and the problem isn’t the people
who are giving the care they’re very
highly trained the problem is the way
those people are cared for
because what we’ve done is we’ve created
cultures and hospitals where the people
who are doing the caring are cared for
and so all of these little preventable
deaths are happening because they don’t
feel like they’re a part of anything
they’re just doing their jobs and they
don’t get along that well and there’s
not a lot of camaraderie and the impact
is death right now I use this example
because it’s exaggerated because the
impact is so powerful but the problem is
the same in our own companies right
which is we come to work and we’re told
you must care for your clients you must
care for your customers you must make
them the focus of all you do and yet why
aren’t the people who are managing us
from the top caring about us so yes in a
hospital the impact is worse but the
impact that we’re having on the outside
world is just as bad in other words
we’re not working at our best we don’t
care for the things we’re doing we’re
not helping each other is the most
important part and the residual impact
is that we are unfulfilled by the work
that we do and when we run fulfilled by
the work that we do we focus on the
details and when we focus on the details
we retract from each other when we track
from each other we feel lonely and when
we feel lonely cancer goes up heart
disease goes up diabetes goes up in
other words by going to work we’re
killing ourselves literally there’s
another study that was released not that
long ago that says that parents who work
late the negative impact that it has on
their children is little to none they
may feel guilty as parents but the
negative impact that it has on the
raising of their children is little to
none however parents who come home from
jobs they hate or don’t love their kids
are more likely to be bullies at school
and now you think about the bullying
epidemic we have in America right where
there’s this disturbing number of young
children who are killing themselves
suicides because of bullies the problem
is not the schools and the problem isn’t
even the parenting the problem is the
jobs the parents have this is the
importance and this is the power of the
work that we do in the places we go to
work right most of us mean like we
listen to the the the unemployment’s the
sistex they say you know we’re
all-time-high record-high nine to ten
percent unemployment right and people go
mike oh that’s terrible
and i hear that number and i go well
that means ninety-one percent still have
a job right now granted we want to get
that employment number up but that means
ninety-one percent are still going to
work the question is how many of them
are coming home fulfilled by the work
that they do and how many of them are
waking up inspired to go back to work
the next day if we don’t love our works
we don’t look out for each other if we
don’t look out for each other we feel
lonely if we don’t feel lonely all these
negative things happen
so what example can i share with a
creative audience about how to change
this the United States Marine Corps I
had the great honor last week of
spending a week with the Marines I spent
a couple days at Camp Lejeune and then I
went for a few days to Parris Island to
watch them go through boot camp and this
isn’t a room it’s a remarkable
remarkable human experiment that they’re
doing and even though they know what
works they don’t know why it works but
they don’t need to know why because they
know that it works right but what’s
happening is they’re taking a group of
strangers people who don’t know each
other who were showing up and within a
very very short period of time learn to
trust each other so much that they would
give their lives for each other right
and we know everyone sort of anyone
who’s ever worn a human reform knows
that no one runs into battle for God and
country it doesn’t happen it’s for the
guy to the left of me and the guy to the
right of me that’s the reason they do
what they do right and these sort of
remarkable stories of heroism where
people rush into very very dangerous
situations to save others and they
always ask the question why did you do
it why would you risk your life why
would you put yourself at risk for them
and the answer is always the same
because they would do it for me in other
words what gives them the confidence to
put themselves at great risk is the
knowledge that someone would do the same
for them we would put ourselves a great
risk for our companies if we knew that
our companies would put themselves a
great risk for us but they don’t
so we don’t now one of the things that’s
remarkable about the Marines and if you
go read and you know this is the most I
asked these young and they’re 21 22
years old some of these of these lance
corporals the grunts you know the guys
the infantry I mean this is the lowest
of the low that ones we actually send in
to battle the frontlines and I asked
them are you misunderstood in America
and they said yes unanimously they all
nodded I said what what do people think
of you and one stood up and says they
think we’re baby killers I said how does
it feel he says it hurts
and when I say we’ll tell me a story
then that captures to you what it means
to be a Marine the feeling you have of
being a Marine tell me a story that
captures it and I expected to hear
stories of I took a hit and somebody
save me or I ran into a firefight and
pulled something I expected these
stories of heroism not a single story
like that came out and I’m sure those
stories exist but those aren’t that all
the stories they told me that capture
what it means to be a Marine
one of the stories they told me was a
young boy in Afghanistan who would come
around every morning and sell kebabs to
the Marines and then one day he showed
up and he was all beaten up and he
didn’t go to his parents for help and he
didn’t go to his friends to help he came
to the Marines for help because he
trusted them more than anyone else they
told me a story that captured how they
feel of a sevilla j– that had been
overrun by the taliban and the residents
of the village could couldn’t go home
because they would be killed by the
taliban and so they were just living by
the river the problem was winter was
coming and one of the the elders came to
the Marines knocked on the door and said
I need you to come down to the river and
kill us
and the Marine said what are you talking
about it says if we go back home we’ll
be killed by the Taliban and if we stay
out there we’re gonna die slow deaths
this winter it’s easier if you just come
and kill us please
the Marines overran the Taliban village
pushed the Taliban out a year later they
went back to this village and people
were playing volleyball these were the
stories they told me that capture what
it means to be a Marine they believed in
doing good for others and the
fulfillment they get when they put
themselves at risk so that others may
prevail is overwhelming this is not
unique to the Marine Corps this is all
human beings the feeling of fulfillment
comes from doing something for another
the feeling from fulfillment comes from
the exertion of time and energy for
someone else if you are walking to work
and you throw a few pennies in a cup and
you come to work and you say to your
friends hey guys I gave a dollar to
somebody homeless this morning what are
you friends gonna say yeah good right I
gave 20 bucks to somebody homeless
they’d be like good for you right what
have you coming in the morning you say
hey I gave up my Saturday night I paid
mrs. paint at a school in the inner-city
people go whoa cool wow cool and all of
a sudden not only are they inspired to
do something good themselves but the
feeling that that you have persists
amazing thing is that when we do good
for others it actually inspires others
to do good for others this is provided
for us prema to logically
anthropologically it’s a all part of the
survival of the species you know sex
feels good so that will do it so we can
procreate and perpetuate the species but
we’re social animals and so we have to
provide for the fact that we’ll maintain
strong bonds and build cultures right
because that’s what humans do or
cultural animals and so when we do good
for others and we look out for those in
our tribe we look out for those in our
group it actually feels good
biologically releases oxytocin this
chemical that’s released when you do
good for those is released and it makes
you feel good the amazing thing is the
more oxytocin and you have in your body
the more you want to do good for others
the problem is we’ve replaced this
feeling the exertion of time and energy
with digital communications we’ve
replaced it with headphones we’ve
replaced it with money right think about
the invention of money right
it used to be money you know used to be
like you go to someone’s house you cook
them dinner and the deal was they’ll do
the dishes time and energy exchange for
time and energy and someone said I’ll
give you an IOU right someone says I
don’t feel like doing the dishes so I’m
gonna give you an IOU that I promise to
do them another day right and that’s
what money is it is the promise for
future goods or services the promise of
future goods and services in other words
we’ve replaced our own time and energy
with promises for someone else to do it
another day right in other words there’s
no exertion of time and energy and so
the feeling people get is that I did
something for you and you did nothing
for me you replaced it with a piece of
paper with an eye are you with a promise
for future goods and services the way we
find fulfillment is by doing good for
others so how do the marine zoo how do
you get people to do good for others we
all know this intellectually we know
that it’s good to do good for others but
why don’t we do it then why don’t we do
it and what the Marines learned is
something that I completely did not
expect they can’t just yell at these
guys to help each other that’s not what
happens there’s a few things that they
have to do first
so we all heard of the obstacle course
right the Marines had a thing called the
obstacle course and this is where they
they build an aerobic strength and
aerobic strength muscle strength and
it’s timed and all of this good stuff
they have another course called the
confidence course and it’s never timed
and most of the obstacles on this course
cannot be completed by yourself
they must be completed in teams you have
no choice that’s just how it’s designed
and what they say is the first two weeks
of boot camp everybody’s there to outdo
each other and prove that they’re strong
just kind of like when we start in a job
would prove we want to show how great we
are we’ll work a little hard it will do
good work look how good my design is
right it’s all about us and how good we
are right but they keep putting them in
situations where they can’t do things by
themselves and what starts to happen
very slowly they said after about two
weeks they start cheering for each other
now they get in trouble when they do
they start cheering for each other and
then before too long you see them
organically start helping each other and
what happens is if there’s one person
who’s weak and refuses to help each
other the others or even if there’s one
person who’s strong who’s you know I was
the star college athlete they get to
every the end of every obstacle they
just stand there wait for everybody to
finish and they don’t help each other
what starts to happen as organically the
group starts to ostracize that person
organically they get ostracized until
they learn that the only way that they
will get through this thing the only way
they will survive boot camp is if they
ask for help because they have no option
the problem is no one will help them
until they’re willing to help another
it’s the deal we have to make it’s
called vulnerability and risk we have to
take the risk to make ourselves
vulnerable yes you might do something
for someone else and they may not do
something back for you that’s the risk
you run that’s the risk you run it’s not
about it’s not about giving everything
to them and and sort of huge big
overwhelming risk it’s about little
things and little things it’s like going
on a date right it’s like if I went on a
date with somebody I came home and I
said after one date I said
I’m marrying her people like what do you
nuts
I’d be like I’m alone they like but
you’re you just it’s crazy I’m like I
know I’m in love
she feels the same way we both know it’s
nuts right now you know that you’re
gonna be like go on a couple more dates
right we know instinctively that the
strong bond that’s create that that
needs to be created first takes more
than a week right we know that right but
if I’ve been dating somebody for seven
years and we haven’t you know married
you’d be like dude what is wrong right
in other words we know that it takes
more than seven days and we know that it
takes less than seven years the problem
is we don’t know how long it takes
somewhere in the middle all human buns
are the same like when you show up at
work when you show for the first time
when you’re new don’t expect that people
will look out for you and they won’t
expect you to look out for them in seven
days
it won’t happen but if you’ve been
working at a job for a few years and you
don’t have the UH that the sort of the
absolute confidence that if you turn
your back you will not get stabbed you
can rely on somebody you can give them
something nothing will go wrong you will
share the credit no one will throw you
under the bus if you don’t have that in
a few years something’s wrong
something’s wrong I don’t know how long
it takes but I know that’s more than a
week and I know it’s less than seven
years and the Marines fundamentally
understand that before anyone is willing
to put themselves out for another they
have to have self-confidence real self
confidence you have to be confident in
yourself and your own ability before
you’re willing to help another if you’re
insecure at all about your own ability
it’s an oxy it’s sort of a paradox right
how am I can I overcome my confidence
you know my self-confidence and we all
have ego issues at all times you know we
all do right but if I’m not confident
myself I won’t help another it’s a
paradox because then we need someone to
look out for us before we’re willing to
help our peers right this is what
management is supposed to do
the drill instructors the school they
are there our parents they are there for
one reason and one reason only to help
us feel strong and good about ourselves
but look at the way we talk to each
other but look at them look a budgets
been cut and so what do you get told I
need you guys to do more with less right
that’s what we’re told hey guys I need
you guys to do more with less
that’s we’re told by our clients by our
buses by our parents that’s what we’re
told right that’s like your parents
telling you when you’re young I know
you’re stupid figure it out right you’re
not as smart as the other kids what do
you want me to do right it’s the exact
same thing I need you to do more with
less right what we need to be telling
people is I need you I need you to do
more with what you have right you have
capacity you have strength you have
talent you have compatibility I need you
to do more with what you have we don’t
celebrate what we’ve got we criticize
for what we don’t have this is the
responsibility of management to take us
under their wing and help us understand
our own value to ourselves close your
eyes and think back to high school and
think of that one teacher who took you
under their wing and cared for you and
looked after you and helped you realize
that you are capable of more than you
thought you were and you and you you
probably are the person you are today in
some part because of that person right
you have that name what’s the name
tell me the name tell me the name of the
teacher okay
give me the name okay I can point to
anybody and you can tell me that name
now tell me the names of all the other
teachers you had that day can’t remember
them Kenya this is the power of those
who teaches confidence we will literally
carry their names around with us for the
rest of our lives wouldn’t you want to
be that person wouldn’t you want to be
the person that 20 years from now 30
years from now 40 years from now I can
do this exercise with somebody and they
will tell me your name this is the power
of helping others realize their own
strengths this is what management and
leadership is supposed to be doing
they’re supposed to be caring for us and
helping us realize our own value and by
the way if you have anybody who reports
to your works for you your
responsibility is not to make them meet
the deadline your responsibility is not
to make sure that they do as you say
your responsibility is to make sure that
they understand their own strengths
their own value and that they are way
way more talented than they think they
are and the only way they will learn
that is if you put them in situations in
which they can fail and you hold them
and you support them and you give them
talent and you give them skills and you
give them education and you watch their
backs and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up and if
they follow they you Carriger them to
get back up and if they fall over you
encourage them to get back up until they
figured out themselves
it’s called confidence it’s your
responsibility to help others find it
into others responsibility to help you
find yours and the amazing thing is as
soon as you start feeling comforted in
your own ability you naturally help each
other that’s what happens it’s called
trust in the military they give medals
to people who are willing to sacrifice
themselves so that others may gain in
business we are willing to give bonuses
to people who will sacrifice others so
that we may gain we have it backwards
and then we complain about how we don’t
love our jobs and we complain about how
the work is suffering and we complain
about how budgets are being cut and we
can complain complain complain and the
first thing we do is blame each other
and become more selfish and worried
about my pay and my benefits and my this
and this is what happens when we are
unfulfilled we look at the metrics and
we say they’re not good enough when we
are fulfilled we don’t care about the
metrics this is why when you have a job
you love and you get a call that says
I’ll offer you tons more money and great
benefits you like I’m not interested I’m
not interested I I’m not interested I’m
very happy here but we’ll give you more
that’s not the reason I’m here I’m here
because I love it I’m here because I
care for the people I work with and I’m
here because the people I work with care
for me this is the world I imagine this
is the world I imagine
and here’s the great thing if you take
little risks I’m not talking about big
things little things if you start doing
little things for each other
the amazing anthropological response is
other people will start doing little
things for others – I was walking down
the street two days ago and a guy’s
backpack was open and a whole bunch of
paper fell out as he’s walking down the
street and I happen to be behind him and
so my friend and I just sort of be
written mid conversation and in mid
conversation we never even stop talking
we just bent down sort of help them
gather his papers and them back to him
sort of pointed out that his bet book
bag was his you know his backpack was
unzipped and he said thanks when we
walked on it was like no big deal
right we get to the end of the the
street and we stand at that we’re
waiting it’s across the street we still
talking we haven’t stopped talking and
the guy in front of us turns to us and
but here’s what’s great about that the
guy will go do something for someone
else simply because he saw us bend down
and pick up paper of his own he will
actually go do something for some
right he won’t give to charity because
he sees me put a dollar in a cup if he
will actually help someone because he
saw someone also helps someone little
things hold a door open for someone say
thank you to the person hold the door
open for you smile to the barista little
little things you know put your foot in
the subway when the door is closing so
someone who’s running will make it hit
the open at the elevator don’t go or
pretend you didn’t see that’s the best
one
you know sorry alright do it a little
time and a little energy and you’ll find
around work that people get a little
time and a little energy back to you and
you’ll give a little more time and a
little more energy you go for a coffee
with someone then you go forth to our
coffee and you go for a coffee and a
lunch then you go for a lunch and a
dinner then you go for a dinner in a
movie and then you sleep over and then
you sleep over two nights and then you
go on holiday together and eventually
you get married right it’s slow it takes
time and we can’t rush it you know if
when we rush it it’s all fake do things
for others and watch watch how much
others do for you but you know go you go
get yourself a cup of coffee from the
coffee sheet machine in the morning make
one for someone else it takes a little
extra time it takes a little extra
energy that’s the point
that’s the point and here’s the best
part you will feel so good at the end of
the day
so good
thank you it’s a great question how do
you convince someone how do you know so
to order the metrics how do you convince
a skeptical audience of this trust
metric you don’t you don’t write you
can’t twist anybody’s arm to do
something that they don’t want to do and
you know the law of diffusion which I
obey you know as hard as that as much as
I can which is you don’t need the
majority you need those people who
believe what you believe in other words
if you buy if you you know when you go
sort of when you do some nice things for
people they may not do something nice
back because they may be you know we
live in a world in which you do
something for somebody they think you
want something from them right that’s
unfortunately the society we’ve created
but but that’s the risk that we keep
taking I’m not saying you should keep
doing it for somebody who keeps doing
nothing and keeps sort of you know
crapping on you because of it then at
some point you have to be like all right
my bad my bad
right and you back off you know I don’t
believe in helping everyone I do not
believe in it right this is not you know
let’s do good for everyone in the on the
planet that’s not what I’m talking about
mother Teresa who’s the poster child for
giving selflessly to all who need at the
end of her life started questioning the
existence of God and by the way hated
her life
serious okay in other words giving to
others unabashedly is actually
self-destructive it doesn’t help
right and it’s just like going on dates
with people you don’t like doesn’t mean
you’ll eventually click in math right
the there’s there’s only one machine
that I found that really accurately
measures trust better than any other
sort of metric it’s called a human being
it’s really good at it
right and so those feelings you get
trust them in one way or the other you
know it’s if the little risks it’s the
butterflies it’s the unsure you know
it’s the it’s the backwards it’s the
dense
it’s dating it’s the dance it’s the
nerves like I you know it’s that so if
there were if there are cynical bastards
at your office who
who don’t get it ignore ignore him don’t
worry about it because eventually you’ll
get enough and those people either come
along or leave or be pushed out you know
ostracized remember when the group
starts helping each other they ostracize
the ones who refuse to help whether
they’re strong or whether they’re weak
they get ostracized until they learn
until they learn that they cannot
survive without the help of others and
they learn that the only way others will
help them is if they if they help the
others right the order matters the order
matters I’ll just I just thought of
something that sort of we is pervasive
in our sort of you know digital world
the order matters you know so to speak
honestly about what you want right if
you are doing don’t do things for people
when you want something from them just
ask them what you want from them and
I’ll give you one little example it’s a
funny little example we’ve all received
emails that go like this dear Simon well
you wouldn’t get an email to your
assignment but I will dear insert your
name right dear Simon haven’t seen you
in years
hope you’re well congratulations on all
you’ve been doing it’s really amazing
we should get copy sometime if you could
do me a favor I’m if you could vote for
me on this website I’m hoping to win you
know some thousand dollar prize for my
design blah blah blah hope you’re well
talk to you soon
Kenny right we’ve all received an email
like that and how do we respond to it
right now what happens if you get the
same email that goes like this dear
Simon I’m hoping you could vote for me
on this website I’m trying to win some
thousand dollar prize for my design I
haven’t seen you in years
I hope you really well congratulations
on all that you’ve been doing we should
get a coffee sometime Thanks
Kenny totally different in other words
when we know why you’re emailing and it
comes first it has a remarkable impact
we know that all those pleasantries are
just buttering us up to get to what they
want right but if you come right out
with what you want we’re actually very
grateful for the pleasantries right it’s
the same thing in human interaction
don’t get someone a cup of coffee if you
need a favor back just ask them for the
favor it builds trust I can’t trust you
every time you do something nice to me I
think you just something what you want
something from me I won’t trust you and
this is what companies do to us right
well we did this for you why won’t you
do this for us
that’s not how it works generosity
bending down to pick up the papers
holding the door open for someone is
expecting nothing in return
ever you do not give you know this is
what happens in new business right we
new business is built on relationships
and so we build the relationship build
the relationship build the relationship
until we’re comfortable to ask for the
business in other words you were only
befriending me till the point you felt
that I would let down my guard and you
could ask me for something the whole
time you were just waiting for that time
it doesn’t work that way if you actually
want to build relationships you build
relationships without wanting anything
and that’s how you build trust you want
to know why the Marines gave me this
incredible access I mean literally they
said Simon anything you want to see you
got it anything you want to do you got
it you can go it we went past sign that
said no observers no civilians beyond
this point I’m like can I take pictures
like go ahead you should see some of the
pictures they’re unbelievable right I’m
like right in there Marines coming at me
we went out to the crucible and roll
like you know they’re like rolling in
the dirt and like you know going onto
barbed wire and I’m like I’m not joking
either they’re like you know
unprecedented access access that
journalists would be jealous of do you
know why they gave it to me
because in all the time that I’ve been
visiting with Marines and having
meetings with them I’ve never asked for
anything I don’t want anything and I
don’t have anything to sell I just keep
showing up and say what do you need how
can I help and at some point they said
when I called and said I need a little
favor because they know I haven’t been
waiting for the favor it’s the time now
that I have a little favor they go
absolutely whatever you need it’s called
human relationships companies don’t do
business with companies people do
business with people you know your
company didn’t win IBM as a client
somebody who like somebody said will
hire you and if they didn’t like you
they’re just you know they’re do it
they’re playing roulette well we’re
betting that you know this will work out
those are the weak relationships yes
yeah the more we give the more inspires
others to give but the more selfish we
are the more others become selfish
around us and so those are organizations
in which selfish behavior perfect
prevails and so we see the residual
effect which is they make decisions that
ultimately screw us they destroy our
economy because of their selfish
behavior right we know this is what what
what happens same in politics right and
the answer is don’t worry about it I
know it sounds silly and you say you
mean your first question is do I talk
about these things to them I will talk
to anyone who will listen you know but I
don’t talk to people who don’t want to
listen the good news is there are some
good eggs and there are some of them
who’ve had conversions where they were
the bastards who believed in firing
people and screwing people to advance
their careers and something happens I
just met a guy recently he was a very
senior executive at a very very large
company and something happened and he
like he got like hit in the head or
something and he realized holy cow I
have to look after people right and they
become obsessed with it and they start
sticking their necks out and and we just
need those champions scattered around
and this is what I do the more I spread
this message the more it’s sort of it’s
it’s kind of like um you know in the in
the cartoons you sort of the whole of
justice you know that the message goes
out they all sort of like you know
wherever they are like you know that
they poke their heads up it’s that kind
of thing the more we talk about it the
more we put it in our work you know
because don’t forget you’re gonna help
someone who goes home feeling good and
their husband or their wife works in the
bank and they’re gonna talk how much
about they’d love to and that might
inspire that person you know it’s it has
all of these residual impacts that we
don’t really know this is the funny
thing about the internet which is we’re
so proud of the internet that we can
measure everything no you can’t you can
only measure one layer right so for
example you say Simon what’s the impact
you’re having I don’t know is the answer
right I know it’s it’s I know that it’ll
take more than a week and I will take
seven years but I don’t know when it’s
gonna happen and I don’t know how it’s
gonna get there right all I can do is is
do it right but I have no clue how we’ll
win and so for example I can measure
book sales and I can measure how many
hits and I can measure how many people
watched a TED talk and all of this but I
can’t measure you know
that TED talk being shown to a room of
50 people and one of those 50 people
doesn’t buy a book doesn’t watch a TED
talk doesn’t do anything but goes out
and does something good for somebody
else I have no way of measuring that and
so we’re so proud of the internet and
its ability to measure everything but
we’re measuring one layer where we used
to measure no layers it’s like you know
this is how people work it’s it’s it’s
gossamer you know it’s networked and so
the answer is don’t worry about them
don’t worry about them worry about the
people who you can care for who you can
give to and when we reach a critical
mass in society it will tip right and if
you don’t believe me the reason it is
the way it is now is because it tipped
the wrong way there was no such thing as
massive layoffs as as business strategy
prior to night in the 1980s it just
wasn’t done it was done here and there
but it wasn’t strategy the idea of using
layoffs to balance the books is a
relatively new phenomenon that came for
the increase of selfishness in the
Gordon Gekko greed is good 1980s boom
right and this was also the same exact
period the 1980s where the theory the
theory of shareholder value was put
forwards right because they had all
these people buying large companies and
installing professional managers to run
the companies that they bought that they
invested in and they had a problem which
is those professional managers were paid
for by the company and those
professional managers cared for the
employees and the customers and so the
investors said how do we protect our
investments we’ve got an idea
we’re going to give them equity in the
company and bonus them based on the
performance right and so the shift
happened where the CEOs started caring
more about the investors and stopped
caring about the customers and employees
those were theories introduced by some
Harvard professor in the 1980s we can
push it back the other way
right we can push it back the other way
but we just have to and there was a just
the other day which company was it one
of the large banks where the
shareholders citibank citibank yeah
citibank the shareholders voted majority
shareholders voted against a fat pay
package that’s unprecedented it has
never happened even in hard times even
when the company’s doing this the
shareholders just it’s just sort of a
cursory thing where they approve the
fifteen million dollar bonus but
they voted against it it’s non-binding
but it sends a shot across the bow
saying shareholders now want you to be
bonused if you do something good for
others even if the others is us alright
the point is is that it’s it’s starting
to crack and so let’s just stick our
finger in the crack you know make sure
that keeps cracking
it’s one one way we can swing it back
the question was can I talk about
celebrating accomplishment while still
asking for more right – two – so they
did a study on kids who are really
really smart like an older gifted
classes why is it when you smart you’re
gifted when you’re stupid you’re special
why is that I was told my whole life I
they took the gifted kids who are
constantly told you’re so good oh thanks
but I knew you’d do well oh you’re the
you’re our best employee you know you’re
our best student you’re awesome
right and what happens is later in life
they actually suffer because they’re
very afraid of taking risk because
they’re very afraid of losing their
position on the mantle okay kids who are
sort of more average who constantly are
rewarded not for their accomplishment
but for their effort
great effort really proud of the
improvement you made what they find is
they do very well in life because
there’s no shelf there’s always more
there’s more effort right and so you
want to reward and acknowledge effort
even if they don’t hit the goal it’s
that the Delta but at the same time if
it goes backwards you’d be like dude
what’s going on it’s like we don’t get
we shouldn’t be giving ribbons for
everyone who competes right because what
we’re teaching people is if you do
nothing you get a medal right and the
funny thing is is we start with creating
a generation that’s feeling very Hollow
and feeling you know this sense of
entitlement that people complain about
gen-y the entitlement is I don’t feel
like I’ve accomplished anything and the
funny thing is about human beings is we
we the way we feel accomplished is when
we exert energy and time and reach a
destination right and the more energy
and time that we have to suffer through
especially if we suffer together and we
get somewhere it is overwhelming think
about the best jobs you’ve ever worked
on was it the best design was it the
best results that the company had
because of your your project or was it
an absolute hell project that you work
together and you came out on the other
end and that you got it done at the
deadline and you’re like that was
amazing it was the hell projects it was
the things that we had to go out of our
ways more do things for each other right
things we weren’t thinking of doing I
was wrapping packages I was doing stuff
that aren’t designers aren’t supposed to
do going you know this is what produces
that right and so the the the the the
thing is about measurement and
destination reward imagine we’re
standing
in a big empty room right and we’re
standing in one corner and I give you a
simple instruction I want you to go to
that corner in a straight line right off
you go
no big deal right without telling you I
slip a chair in front of you
what do you do you go around the chair
now you just disobeyed what I told you
to do I told you to go to that corner
straight line but this is the amazing
things about human beings which is when
we’re given a clear destination we use
our own creativity and our own sense of
innovation and our own problem-solving
abilities to overcome obstacles to get
to the destination in other words the
destination is more important than the
route right we’re flexible about the
route we’re obsessed with the
destination reset we’re standing in the
corner together and I give you a simple
instruction go somewhere in this room in
a straight line and you say to me well
where do you want to go I’m like I don’t
know you’re smart figure it out go in a
straight line and so you pick a point
and you start walking and without
telling you I put a chair in front of
you and what do you do you come to a
grinding halt I say what you stopped for
you go will you put a chair in front of
me or you’ll make a sudden turn and go
in another direction right and this is
the problem it’s the same obstacle the
difference is when you have a clear set
a clear destination the obstacles become
easy to overcome when you don’t have a
clear destination you keep coming to a
grinding halt and what we do in our
companies is we’re counting the steps
we’re taking along the route but we’re
never looking at the destination right
so company says made in million dollars
this year we were only planning on
making eight hundred thousand like we
took ten steps when we planning on
taking 8 where are you going no clue
right we count the steps and so the
point is is that people want to feel
that the effort that they’re exerting
actually are moving somewhere and so
successful measurement successful
recognition is not just for the steps
you take it’s not just for the effort
it’s that the effort you exert it moved
us closer to where we’re trying to get
to and that get to should be some crazy
ideal my ideal is to live in a world in
which the vast majority of people wake
up every single morning
you know inspire to go to work and
fulfilled by the work that they do and
the the couple of measurements that I
use are if the book is selling and I buy
the way people ask me how many have you
sold I have no clue I’ve never asked the
publisher because I don’t care I really
don’t care how many I sold what I care
about is the Amazon rankings and that
those are going steady or up and
plummeting because that means other
people right because I don’t have a
publicist I don’t have a marketing
strategy on purpose I didn’t hire one of
those companies to sell the book for me
and the reason is is because I’m not
interested in book sales I’m interested
in spreading of an idea and so I just
used that as a metric to help me
understand am I sort of marching in the
because the more I preach is it
resonating you know and so you have a
couple of these imperfect measurements
that help you understand are you going
along the way so it’s not just great
effort look what you achieved because
that’s what we’re doing now right our
goal is to increase top-line revenues by
50 million dollars for what reason right
which is we have to know the destination
and then we say amazing you took us that
much closer and if we go to the right
it’s because we were overcoming an
obstacle if we hadn’t gone to the right
we would have been stuck forever
thank you you know it’s not always
straight lines it’s not always straight
lines but it’s it’s in one direction
she’s playing the cane out
thank you very very much
[Applause] [Music]
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