hi I’m Evan Carmichael and welcome to
another edition of ask Evan in today’s
video I thought I’d be easier to show
you a screen capture it’s a question
from one of my readers Kalyan who posted
in my forums about a sales letter that
he created for one of his products and
he wanted my advice on what to do so
here’s his post it was can someone
please review my product description and
he wrote here hello everyone i just
started providing research services to
assist other internet marketers i was
wondering if you could take a look at my
copywriting and give some feedback on
what seems to work and what i can change
use URL thank you in advance for any
feedback you may have Kailyn so I
thought I’d walk you through it and will
click on his link here and see what
shows up so here’s his sales page and
before I even start reading the content
here is a couple things that throw me
off that you might want to look at
kalyan the first is the text here is
hard to read it kind of goes over the
computer monitors here the graphics look
very kind of stock photo doesn’t really
give me a lot of confidence that it’s a
substantial company or a successful
entrepreneur that I want to give my
money to so you want to work on the
graphics a little bit not have the text
overlap on each other might be just a
chrome issue but something you want to
look at I see that you’ve included all
sorts of the different social media
signals we’ve got dig and Facebook and
Twitter but they all have zero and that
doesn’t look good if it’s a sales page
and everything is zero I would probably
recommend taking those off of here so it
doesn’t look like nobody’s buying from
you or nobody really cares about this
site the other thing here is the
archives are not that old right so we’re
in august now you know the sites only
been around for five months doesn’t
again give me a lot of confidence and
i’m buying from expert somebody knows
what they’re really doing if they only
have five months of history here i would
probably lead off with something of a
testimonial if you can if there’s been
clients that you’ve helped and you can
show some social proof that hey people
are using my service and really liked it
so if you could have a picture at the
front of somebody who’s used it with a
with a good testimonial either great
video that’d be great and go a long way
to start convincing people that what
you’re selling actually works so that’s
before even looking at the content so
let’s actually get into the content
itself the most important thing is going
to impact people is your title so your
title here it’s online rookies internet
market research services so not anything
is really going to you know give me a
WOW factor I’m not encouraged to want to
read on so you got to really grab people
with your title and make them want to
learn more about what you have to do so
you definitely rework your title there’s
a lot of text here to read that you’re
hoping people go through and people
don’t like to read text so I try to get
right to the point of what you do and
why you’re different than everybody else
so kind of grab people a little bit more
next to the different services that you
have email marketing keyword research
Twitter networking guest blogging I put
little icons people are visual and like
to see pictures and helps break up the
text a little bit more so that might
help you increase your conversions a
little bit more you make a lot of claims
in here as I was reading it that you
know I’m not sure I believe so you want
to try to back it up for example there’s
your twitter has high conversion rate
sales on twitter has have high
conversion rates you know i haven’t
found that in my experience so it’s you
know if you had some data to back that
up reports you can link to your saying
you know email marketing didn’t die it
such as profitable as ever again you
want to make sure you can back up those
claims with the link to an article or
research that you’ve done to show people
that you really know what you’re talking
about you know a 17 year old blogger
who’s built a strong reputation through
guest blogging making 5,000 a month who
is this person can you show me a picture
can you show me his blog again you know
builds in a little bit more credibility
because a lot of people will be making
these type of claims don’t back it up
and so it doesn’t give me confidence to
want to give you money to you know move
forward with whatever services you’re
offering I’d love to see people that
you’ve helped other clients that you’ve
done work with if you don’t have any
pain clients yet do some work for free
just build it up build a portfolio of
people who then you can go back to and
can give you testimonials and say hey
you know this guy
really knows what he’s doing and I want
to hire him I noticed what’s missing
here as well as you don’t have anything
about you so Who am I hiring who is
online rookies internet marketing be
great to see your picture your story a
little bit more about you and how you
got started and you know why you’re an
expert and why I should hire you because
it’s a pretty simple form here and I
wouldn’t be encouraged to want to sign
up quite yet until you’ve done a little
bit more work and then the last thing I
would include is a really strong call to
action so one incentive are you giving
people to want to contact you your call
to action here is research is your
greatest weapon contact us and we will
give you the tools to make your internet
marketing campaign shine so you know you
want to highlight that a little bit more
and and make it easy so like contact us
is not a link so how do I actually
contact you I don’t see an email really
anywhere here on this page so you know
if I want to if i want to set up with
you how do i actually do it how do I
contact you so that should be really
obvious make it a big button give people
options to contact you especially by
email and hopefully that will help
increase some of your conversions on
this so Kailyn I hope that helps give
you some advice there’s and tips you can
use to make this letter better keep us
posted and if you have a new version of
it be great to see the changes they’ve
made and be cool to see if you’ve been
able to increase your conversions
because of some of those changes for
everybody watching the video if you guys
liked it please give it a thumbs up
we’ll make more just like it and it also
love to hear your thoughts and feedback
if you want to leave a comment below the
video and stay tuned for the next
episode
another edition of ask Evan in today’s
video I thought I’d be easier to show
you a screen capture it’s a question
from one of my readers Kalyan who posted
in my forums about a sales letter that
he created for one of his products and
he wanted my advice on what to do so
here’s his post it was can someone
please review my product description and
he wrote here hello everyone i just
started providing research services to
assist other internet marketers i was
wondering if you could take a look at my
copywriting and give some feedback on
what seems to work and what i can change
use URL thank you in advance for any
feedback you may have Kailyn so I
thought I’d walk you through it and will
click on his link here and see what
shows up so here’s his sales page and
before I even start reading the content
here is a couple things that throw me
off that you might want to look at
kalyan the first is the text here is
hard to read it kind of goes over the
computer monitors here the graphics look
very kind of stock photo doesn’t really
give me a lot of confidence that it’s a
substantial company or a successful
entrepreneur that I want to give my
money to so you want to work on the
graphics a little bit not have the text
overlap on each other might be just a
chrome issue but something you want to
look at I see that you’ve included all
sorts of the different social media
signals we’ve got dig and Facebook and
Twitter but they all have zero and that
doesn’t look good if it’s a sales page
and everything is zero I would probably
recommend taking those off of here so it
doesn’t look like nobody’s buying from
you or nobody really cares about this
site the other thing here is the
archives are not that old right so we’re
in august now you know the sites only
been around for five months doesn’t
again give me a lot of confidence and
i’m buying from expert somebody knows
what they’re really doing if they only
have five months of history here i would
probably lead off with something of a
testimonial if you can if there’s been
clients that you’ve helped and you can
show some social proof that hey people
are using my service and really liked it
so if you could have a picture at the
front of somebody who’s used it with a
with a good testimonial either great
video that’d be great and go a long way
to start convincing people that what
you’re selling actually works so that’s
before even looking at the content so
let’s actually get into the content
itself the most important thing is going
to impact people is your title so your
title here it’s online rookies internet
market research services so not anything
is really going to you know give me a
WOW factor I’m not encouraged to want to
read on so you got to really grab people
with your title and make them want to
learn more about what you have to do so
you definitely rework your title there’s
a lot of text here to read that you’re
hoping people go through and people
don’t like to read text so I try to get
right to the point of what you do and
why you’re different than everybody else
so kind of grab people a little bit more
next to the different services that you
have email marketing keyword research
Twitter networking guest blogging I put
little icons people are visual and like
to see pictures and helps break up the
text a little bit more so that might
help you increase your conversions a
little bit more you make a lot of claims
in here as I was reading it that you
know I’m not sure I believe so you want
to try to back it up for example there’s
your twitter has high conversion rate
sales on twitter has have high
conversion rates you know i haven’t
found that in my experience so it’s you
know if you had some data to back that
up reports you can link to your saying
you know email marketing didn’t die it
such as profitable as ever again you
want to make sure you can back up those
claims with the link to an article or
research that you’ve done to show people
that you really know what you’re talking
about you know a 17 year old blogger
who’s built a strong reputation through
guest blogging making 5,000 a month who
is this person can you show me a picture
can you show me his blog again you know
builds in a little bit more credibility
because a lot of people will be making
these type of claims don’t back it up
and so it doesn’t give me confidence to
want to give you money to you know move
forward with whatever services you’re
offering I’d love to see people that
you’ve helped other clients that you’ve
done work with if you don’t have any
pain clients yet do some work for free
just build it up build a portfolio of
people who then you can go back to and
can give you testimonials and say hey
you know this guy
really knows what he’s doing and I want
to hire him I noticed what’s missing
here as well as you don’t have anything
about you so Who am I hiring who is
online rookies internet marketing be
great to see your picture your story a
little bit more about you and how you
got started and you know why you’re an
expert and why I should hire you because
it’s a pretty simple form here and I
wouldn’t be encouraged to want to sign
up quite yet until you’ve done a little
bit more work and then the last thing I
would include is a really strong call to
action so one incentive are you giving
people to want to contact you your call
to action here is research is your
greatest weapon contact us and we will
give you the tools to make your internet
marketing campaign shine so you know you
want to highlight that a little bit more
and and make it easy so like contact us
is not a link so how do I actually
contact you I don’t see an email really
anywhere here on this page so you know
if I want to if i want to set up with
you how do i actually do it how do I
contact you so that should be really
obvious make it a big button give people
options to contact you especially by
email and hopefully that will help
increase some of your conversions on
this so Kailyn I hope that helps give
you some advice there’s and tips you can
use to make this letter better keep us
posted and if you have a new version of
it be great to see the changes they’ve
made and be cool to see if you’ve been
able to increase your conversions
because of some of those changes for
everybody watching the video if you guys
liked it please give it a thumbs up
we’ll make more just like it and it also
love to hear your thoughts and feedback
if you want to leave a comment below the
video and stay tuned for the next
episode
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