there’s a thing in our culture that’s
killing our culture it’s killing success
and that is that we’ve become addicted
to other people’s opinions I think the
biggest shift in our lives the things
that makes us the happiest is that when
somebody helps us identify our natural
giftedness you can’t feed everybody else
if you’re starving yeah spiritually
emotionally financially need motivation
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being born into a middle class family to
building one of the most successful
financial service businesses and
becoming one of the top motivational
speakers in the world he said my letter
and here’s my take on his top 10 rose
success vol 4 enjoy also if you want to
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the reason people aren’t patient is they
value other people’s opinions too much
and even though I’m gonna sell you the
most beautiful hammer I’m not gonna
guarantee the structural integrity of
okay let’s take it off with rule number
one ignore the haters there’s a thing in
our culture that’s killing our culture
it’s killing success and that is that
we’ve become addicted to other people’s
opinions we’ve become addicted to other
people’s approval that’s and social
media is wonderful but it’s all about
how many likes do you get how many
selfies can you take that may feel good
when you get it but then what it does is
it governs your behavior you begin to
only do things to seek other people’s
approval and even when you get it right
it’s short-term it doesn’t really feel
very good it’s not fulfilling but we
really want is not just success we want
fulfillment the way we get fulfillment
is self-respect is self-confidence and
that’s how somehow in your life you must
begin to separate what you do from what
people think about it you know this the
people that have really won in life in
in business they eventually drop the
addiction to what other people think
about them they’re most concerned about
what they think about them or if they’re
a person of faith of what their God
thinks about them not the rest of the
world because the higher you climb the
more haters you’re gonna have there’s
absolutely no question about it
you ought to hope you have more of them
the only thing I will warn people of is
the higher you climb the closer to you
the haters are so right now if you’re at
one level of success its people at a
distance there are haters but as you
climb higher there’s always the one or
two people in your close circle we’re
gonna try to pull you back down because
they think you’re leaving them they make
you your success is making them
uncomfortable about where they are and
so they begin to do everything they can
to pull you back down so the closer the
haters are to you the even more
successful haven’t rolled over chilling
practice gratitude I had a really good
friend of mine I went to lunch and he
said I don’t know who this guy is here
in front of me and he goes let me ask
you a question honestly right now what
are you grateful for and at the lunch I
said Jack nothing brother there’s
nothing good in my life right now and
I’m not exaggerating this to you when I
tell you this and this is a factual
story as I’m mouthing these words two
people walked in with an older man both
of them clearly were fighting cancer
somehow both had lost their hair one of
the ladies had a bonnet on and they were
barely moving in both walked by our
table and gave me the most warm greeting
the warmest smile as a stranger and he
goes that’s pretty freaking pathetic you
can’t find anything in your life to be
grateful
for right now and on the drive home I’m
not kidding you I started to stack
gratitude I started to taking inventory
because if you can find things to be
grateful for in that space man as your
life going to be rich when there really
are external things to be grateful for
so my first mechanism out of that space
was honestly to stack the things I was
grateful for and I started reinforcing
it over and over and over again and what
happens is there’s this reticular
activating system in our brains right
and all of a sudden because that’s the
messaging I was giving myself all of a
sudden all these things start to come
into my awareness that I’m grateful for
I start to magnetized to myself some
people that I needed to find into my
life and that was the next layer I
started to see things to be grateful for
my health my fitness people who loved me
and when it did it changed my state when
I stacked gratitude I changed what I did
in the morning and I changed what I did
in the evening and so somehow by
grabbing control of my morning and by
grabbing control of my evening I got
some measure of control over the middle
of my day I was an out of control person
back in those days meaning this I woke
up worried stressed fearful and I
immediately started thinking about a
bill I had to pay something that was
wrong and I’m in a state of reaction to
begin every sound talk within six
minutes of waking up six seconds most
people listening to this that’s what
they do I said I got to grab control of
my morning and I set up routines in my
morning maybe they serve me maybe they
didn’t but they were things I could
deliver on doing for myself and so not
only did that give me control over the
day but I started to stack my
self-confidence to rule number three
turn your mentors into France I want to
trim my mentors into my friends like you
and I are gonna we’re gonna become great
friends because the highest level of
influence is actually friend like if you
have kids anybody out there the truth is
and most you guys are so young but you
don’t really worry about who their
teachers are that’s their mentor your
buddy they hang out with you know this
one when you were a kid right show
friends so you gotta turn your mentors
in a friends long term but for me when I
was a little boy I played baseball
miracle I’m at a baseball camp rod
Carew’s there who’s a Hall of Fame
baseball player he’s the guest coach at
the baseball camp all the other kids hey
can I get an autograph blah blah blah I
went up to him and said mr. crew will
you be my coach I’m eight years old Wow
eight years old my coach
left-handed hitter he’s Rod Carew you
don’t know he is Google it right he goes
I might coach you let me see you hit and
I get in the cage and I batted just like
him he used to bat with his bat flat
like this instead of up and I bet it
just like him and he ends up meeting my
dad and he goes you know I was thinking
of starting to hitting school why
doesn’t he be my first student so when
I’m 8 years old my hitting coach ends up
becoming Rod Carew until I leave to go
to college is that crazy and then once I
got into the business world though I
knew that principal and so I would start
to put myself in environments Oh Tony
Robbins has been a major influence on me
I had a goal my goal was I went to one
of his seminars and I’m like okay well
that was cool but I want to know him and
so over time I saw the mouse odd amount
sought him out and then you know the way
you get a mentor eventually too is that
somehow there’s reciprocity involved you
bring them some value yeah you teach
them something you give them something
they can’t get with this love belief
care time admiration whatever it is so
Tony’s been a major one for me
Phil Knight’s been a significant one for
me Stallone’s been one these are you
know the point of my life now where
those are guys that have made a major
major impact on me what mentors do for
you is they don’t only teach you things
but they they make you want to live up
to their belief in them and I think the
other thing is they can hold you
accountable differently than you can
yourself because you don’t want to let
someone down whom you respect the dad
principle that you said earlier right so
I haven’t won in my life because I’m
trying to prove something to Tony
Robbins but part of the steps of my life
have been when I make a verbal
commitment to him that I’m going to do
something I want to build a reputation
with him that I keep my promises and
that’s different and so that’s what my
mentors have done for me and I still
seek them out all the time in whatever
area that I’m moving towards I’m always
trying to find out who the best at this
who should I build a relationship with
who should I collaborate with rule
number four increase your worth what are
some of the biggest barriers that people
face on their journey yeah the biggest
barrier is their own identity no
question about it it’s the way they see
themselves you know there’s that there’s
the old analogy of the thermostat in the
room right that you’re not gonna if
you’re if your lifestyle is set at 75
degrees if you get it going really good
in life gets heated up to 80 85 degrees
unconsciously we find a way to cool
things back down and get what we’re
comfortable most people good people have
a hard time winning isn’t that ironic
they always tell you good things happen
to good people
but the truth is that’s not always the
case because if you’re a good person it
means your morale and your ethical and
so what moral and ethical people have is
this governor and that is that they
don’t ever want to take more than they
think they’re worthy of or they deserve
a bad person will that’s why some of you
even listen to this people listen to
this will say there’s this guy at work
and he’s always number one on the silver
he’s not a good guy
because short term bad people could
actually get ahead of good people
now they’ll always flame out because you
do reap what you sow and you do it does
come home eventually but for a good
person to win they actually have to
increase what they think they’re worth
or what they’re worthy of or what they
deserve because good people will only
take from a business money anything in
life it only take from the table what
they think they deserve so if you can
increase your worth if you can increase
what you believe you deserve then you’ll
take more from life rule number five get
in touch with your gifts when I was
small mom I was also really under sized
so it’s probably the reason that lift
weights I was always there every
baseball picture I’m the kid holding the
sign in the front
right so I was small and skinny they
used to tease me Eddie spaghetti you
know and I’d get bullied at school and I
never retaliated so I had that mixed
with shyness mixed with chaos in my home
which many people can relate to and I
gotta tell you the the shift for me
sports was good for me because it gave
me an Al that I finally found something
that I was pretty good at I think the
biggest shift in our lives the things
that makes us the happiest is that when
somebody helps us identify our natural
giftedness and when I was a little boy
when I got a little bit older they
pointed out my speed so wasn’t my lack
of size I was fast
I was the fast kid right I always wanted
to be fast kid and I got confidence in
baseball doing that when I got into
business I said you know you’re intense
when someone points out a gift about you
that you also kind of intuitively know
to be true they’re linked to him if
you’re intense your passion you won’t
get out work you’re relentless I want I
am those things and when someone linked
those gifts to me winning now I believed
I could win that’s the other way to
change identity is when someone can link
your giftedness to the victory you’ll
believe it not like you’re great that’s
general that’s but it’s
something you know specific like for you
right now
you wouldn’t brag them there’s a few
things you know you know what I am good
right I’ve always been good at these
things that’s natural for me and when
someone links that to you winning like
for you for example you’re an
unbelievable interviewer you have this
general you you don’t need to be the
smartest person in the room because you
probably are most of the time and so
there’s a confidence though there’s a
confidence that allows you to be present
when you interview me and just listen
that’s different than anyone who’s
interviewed me before and so that’s a
natural giftedness for you which is why
there’s a part of you that kind of knows
I am pretty you wouldn’t say if I am
pretty good at this this is a good
program and so the way we change our
identity the way I changed mine was by
getting in touch with what some of my
natural gifts were and then using them
in my career using them in my life that
shifted the weight right off of me
because the weight was I suck I’m shy
I’m small I have a screwed-up family
that’s the weight right the lifting off
of the way it is these are some gifts
God gave me or the universe gave me or
than at least I know I have and I can
spend my life using these gifts now I’ve
got hope now my identity is changing now
my life takes a different direction rule
number six feed yourself first if you
really want to be a leader okay if you
really want to affect other people you
really true if you authentic you really
want to affect me here’s the bottom line
okay the bottom line real effectiveness
you cannot transfer to me something that
which you are not experiencing yourself
so you must first experience it before
you can give it to me so if you really
want to experience energy faith passion
drive discipline achievement you have to
be experiencing it first to
authentically transfer that to me so you
can’t always eat last it can’t always
you can’t feed everybody else if you’re
starving
yeah spiritually emotionally financially
you can’t feed everyone if you’re
starving Jesus could do it because Jesus
was fed he’s Jesus you’re a human being
okay you’re not a deity and so you must
be fed you must be filled up before you
can fill up for everybody else rule
number seven builds self-confidence
I think the first key in building
self-confidence it comes from a
foundation of something people don’t
talk about which is keeping promises
that you actually make to yourself
in other words self-confident people
really are self trusting people so they
have this habit over time of when they
tell themselves they’re going to do
something they actually deliver on it if
you stack up those wins over and over
again if you say I’m gonna get up
a certain time in the morning I’m gonna
go to the gym I’m gonna make a certain
amount of phone calls or I’m gonna eat a
certain way if you begin to keep those
promises you make to yourself you begin
to build that trust within yourself that
you can rely on you and that’s really
what self-confidence is and so typically
in first of all they don’t tell you this
that really starts with keeping the
promises that you make to you and that’s
the foundation all confidence is built
on rule number eight celebrate your life
there’s this thing people think that
like I’ll be happy when once I get like
this big amazing home or once I get this
car or once I get this relationship or
an amount of money then I’ll allow
myself some happiness the problem is the
finish line always moves you never
arrived there right the other part is
people think well if I enjoy myself now
I’m gonna lose my drive in other words
if I can just wire myself with enough
pain all the time I won’t lose my driver
ambition the truth is there’s no
correlation between the two at all
there’s no relationship between you
feeling complete pain all the time and
losing drive and so I talk about living
in a state of blissful dissatisfaction
and really the best example of that
would be like if you’ve ever I love a
good meal right you know if I bought
into a great piece of steak if you’re a
steak eater like I am you take that
first bite it’s like complete bliss
right there’s no correlation between how
great that tasted and your lack of
desire for the next bite in fact that
bliss causes you to want more of it and
so the more we can be into a reward
ourselves with bliss we’re not gonna
lose our dissatisfaction we’re not gonna
we’re not gonna lose that and so for me
our brains
there’s dopamine hit you get when you do
something successful if you constantly
cheat yourself out of that it right
biomechanically in your body less and
less in the future where you want to
achieve the next level the next dream
the next step and that’s why so many
people stall out in life they didn’t
they got to a certain point and they
cheated themselves out of the bliss out
of a celebration it’s important that we
celebrate our wins we celebrate our
lives because it causes us to want the
next bite it keeps us hungrier not the
reverse and so for me I want to live in
a state of being grateful and blissful
now not waiting for some future place or
date that may never arise rule number
nine invest in things you understand
biggest money mistake I made in my life
is investing in things that I don’t
understand
and we’re too late like stocks yeah
stocks I bought that I knew nothing
about that I heard on at CNBC I should
buy or having some guy the one things I
like about your real estate deals it’s
straightforward it’s it’s it’s simple
it’s easy to understand if you present
me a deal now and I can’t regurgitate it
back to you real quick in some simple
form I’m not investing in it I need to
at least understand what it is I’m
investing in yeah even if even if you
miss something you’re willing to miss
something
I’ll miss something yeah I’ve missed so
many things yeah so if I can’t
understand it or it’s too complicated
and I can’t repeat it back to you pretty
quickly you lost me yeah what was so
what’s the biggest loss you had in not
following that advice would you buy one
I bought I bought Yahoo stock at about I
don’t remember 75 or 80 bucks a share
and I’m talking like when I had about 3
million bucks I put like 800 grand in
there and I think I ended up selling it
in like 17 about Citigroup’s how would
you buy that I think in the 70s or 80s I
couldn’t exact on us and then like after
I learned that lesson uh 140 grand yeah
then I no no you lost seven hundred and
then we’ll give you two more Biggie’s
second one I did is I bought citi bank
stock CN group stock at like fifty four
dollars a share
yeah 2008 which that was about seven
hundred thousand dollars worth of that
and I think I sold it at two fifty two
dollars and fifty cents is when I
finally sold it because I heard they
were going to be the next day AIG yeah
they work too huh and then the third one
is stuff you talk about I bought a
residential real estate property that
did not provide any revenue did not
provide any equity for me
that was a what what do you call it it
would be like a trophy property like hey
I’m a big shot in the big time about
what I was now I wasn’t that long ago
either and that was a property that I
wasn’t gonna use wasn’t getting leverage
out of didn’t generate revenue I didn’t
know anything about the market I was
buying and I just wanted to look like a
big shot and I think I lost two and a
half million on that house and that
wasn’t that long ago that’s just a few
years ago so I’ve still made some
mistakes in my life but though those are
probably the biggest loss probably that
house on one
was probably that house allows to the
Heritage already million maybe I lost
three million on that and rule number
ten the last one before a very special
bonus that is max L your life
what is max out really stand for for you
and when did that moment happen where
you knew that that was any part of your
brand yeah what my sons names max so
that helped but maxed out to me means
this is you know your obsessions become
your possessions whatever you end up
being obsessed with you’ll eventually
possess so if you’re obsessed with what
you’re worried about your fears your
problems you’re going to possess those
and so I became obsessed the the short
version is is that you don’t know this I
don’t talk about this on camera very
much when I was thirty my uncle died at
50 years old and he was the guy in my
family we all have this that you kind of
resemble or remind everybody uh I my
dad’s brother he died at 50 sorry
no thank you I appreciate that it’s a
long time ago now and but he was kind of
my godfather and on my culture that’s a
big deal of course might as well yeah I
know Uncle Mike yeah mine was my Uncle
Mike whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa everywhere
right whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah I thought
a universe where expect oh wow okay you
got me right there so mine was my Uncle
Mike Wow and I just touched me so mine
was my Uncle Mike and that blows my mind
right there brother so a mom I’m at his
funeral we’re flying back on the flight
there’s this thing in your brain called
the reticular activating system it
basically filters into your awareness
what’s important to you that’s why like
if you buy a new car all of a sudden you
see that car everywhere on the freeway
three lanes over on the other side
another one they were always there why
do you see him now filtered into your
importance and heart attacks we’re at my
he had died of a heart attack and so I’m
on the airplane and I’m listening to
music and on the streams the Oprah show
but I’m it’s in my awareness and it’s a
heart on the screen I’m like unplug my
headphones plug into the phone system
and it was about a new heart scan that
was happening at cedars-sinai where they
could like it’s common now but they
could
basically look at your heart and your
arteries long story short I hear it and
I told my wife I said scheduled me for
one of those exams she’s like it’s
expense I said I don’t care schedule it
we call it’s a nine-month wait I go I
need to get in I need to get in I keep
calling the lady finally she goes
there’s a cancellation tomorrow at 2:00
I go I’ll be there so I go down for the
scan and thank god this doctor
understood influence and leverage do you
do the scan then you come back after
lunch I literally went ate a burrito
came back I wasn’t in shape I’m 30 years
old the doctor comes out and he goes oh
no I’m looking for Edward Miele it I go
it’s my let you know and he goes he knew
it he goes well I can’t believe these
arteries are in that young a body Wow
you need to come back son now my heart’s
racing I’m like what the hell’s in the
skin we sit down instead of what a
normal doctor would do they just go hey
um here’s the prescription take crest or
workout eat good bye
he understood reasons is what changes
people’s lives massive reasons not
discipline reasons and habits right he
does let me ask you a question
your wife’s beautiful do you have kids I
go yeah I go I got a son he’s 1 he goes
that’s great um do you wanna be there
when he graduates high school I went
what he was do you wanna be there when
he graduates high school I said yeah he
goes ok uh is she pregnant huh yeah what
does she have and I said a girl you get
to a dad does what you say he goes would
you like to walk that little girl down
the aisle on her wedding day so I went
what what is in the scan dude and he
goes I want to be very clear with you
young man I remember this like yesterday
there’s only very clear with you young
man if you continue down the road you’re
going another man’s gonna live with your
beautiful wife in your mansion walk to
your son at graduation and he’s gonna be
arm in arm with your daughter on her
wedding day
not you you won’t long actually as I
tell you this right now dude right
and he goes what I’m gonna get you to do
is I’m gonna get you to max out your
life and your fitness and I went give me
it
yeah and he gave me exactly what I
needed to do and he said if you do this
you’ll walk her down the aisle blah blah
blah from that day when I get up like I
did this morning and I’m tired and I was
late last night and I don’t want to go
to the gym I swear to your brother I
swear to you I go Bella’s wedding get
your ass up and I
I’m fit because I have massive reasons
that’s why I’m fit and that started the
journey towards maxing out every area of
my life I’m Michael I can do this in my
fitness I can do this in business I can
do this in my spirituality and
everything I’m not gonna shortchange
myself by pretty good I’m gonna see what
my real potential is what my maximum
capacity is every single day because at
the end of my life when I do die I have
this belief that when I’m done the
Lord’s gonna go well done good and
faithful servant and by the way here’s
the man you could have been this is the
man you were born to be this is the man
you were destined to be this is where
you could have gone but you could have
seen the memory she could have had the
people you could have helped the person
you could have become I meet him my
obsession is that every day I’m chasing
that dude so that when I do die we meet
we’re identical twins because the bad
end of a life whether it would be at
thirty fifty or a hundred and fifty
would be I meet that guy and we’re total
strangers
so I’m obsessed with meeting that guy
someday and that’s what maxing out means
now we have a special bonus tip from and
on how to be a great leader that I think
you’re gonna enjoy but before that it’s
time for the three-point landing
questions time to move from just
watching on the video to taking action
in your life or business and if you’re
feeling bold leave your answers in the
comments below here we go question
number one what does maxing out your
life look like for you number two how
can you celebrate your life’s more and
number three where do you need to feed
yourself first I want people to that I
mentor to do better than me so if you’re
in this thing we’re like that you want
people to do well around you but you
need to do better than them you’re
really not leading people so leadership
is really simple here’s how you lead
somebody every human being just even
like what you’re just describing
yourself is born with their natural
giftedness if you’re a person of faith I
believe it was sewn into you but if you
could just call your talent you don’t
have faith so for example it could be
your ability to communicate your heart
your spirit your nurturing skills your
engineering skills your math skills your
discipline right your whatever it is you
were born with natural gift students
here’s what a great leader does and it’s
you’ll be one of the rarest people on
earth if you can do this for people just
get quiet observe people as a leader and
when you can identify what someone’s two
or three natural gifts are and they’re
things they know intuitively to be true
about themselves and you link that gift
to them
chiefing you’ve built a leader as if I
said to you it’s your natural heart to
serve people brother
it’s your unbelievable ability to
communicate it’s your mom and our
background in your ear that whole time
supporting you given you link that’s
what you’re gonna change the world and
you go that I do have a great mom I do
have a heart to serve I do have a big
spirit and you link that to them boom
because here’s the truth in life those
either are listening on one hand if
you’re lucky probably there’s one or two
fingers you can count the person who
that when you’re a little boy or a
little girl made you feel special knew
you were special remember them just
picture their face right now you know
exactly what I’m talking about
maybe it’s your mother or a coach or
your grandpa or an uncle or an auntie
and that’s the one when you’re a little
boy or girl they made you feel special
they knew you were different they knew
you reading they saw your blessings they
saw your gifts maybe you got one in your
life and when you picture their face
whether they’ve passed away or still
living you get emotional you can picture
the times they made you feel that way
can’t you write okay
if you’re a great leader you end up on
that hand of thousands of people so in
my life I want to be that person one of
them may picture in my life ed my let
was this guy who saw how special I was
he saw my gifts he saw my blessings he
told me over and over again how blessed
and gifted I am and he linked that to me
winning it wasn’t some rah-rah you’re
gonna do great man you’re a champion
Go Go Go no no it was deep he would
touch me in my spirit he found my gift
and my blessing and when you’re that
person you will be on the hands of
someone in their life one or two places
three places of their entire life that’s
if you want more head my let’s check out
the other top ten rules video me than
him the link is right there next to me I
think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you there
we all know someone right now in our
life or we have who’s not ethical who’s
not a good person who’s winning they’re
like I can’t believe they’re getting it right
killing our culture it’s killing success
and that is that we’ve become addicted
to other people’s opinions I think the
biggest shift in our lives the things
that makes us the happiest is that when
somebody helps us identify our natural
giftedness you can’t feed everybody else
if you’re starving yeah spiritually
emotionally financially need motivation
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today’s lessons to remain who went from
being born into a middle class family to
building one of the most successful
financial service businesses and
becoming one of the top motivational
speakers in the world he said my letter
and here’s my take on his top 10 rose
success vol 4 enjoy also if you want to
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the reason people aren’t patient is they
value other people’s opinions too much
and even though I’m gonna sell you the
most beautiful hammer I’m not gonna
guarantee the structural integrity of
okay let’s take it off with rule number
one ignore the haters there’s a thing in
our culture that’s killing our culture
it’s killing success and that is that
we’ve become addicted to other people’s
opinions we’ve become addicted to other
people’s approval that’s and social
media is wonderful but it’s all about
how many likes do you get how many
selfies can you take that may feel good
when you get it but then what it does is
it governs your behavior you begin to
only do things to seek other people’s
approval and even when you get it right
it’s short-term it doesn’t really feel
very good it’s not fulfilling but we
really want is not just success we want
fulfillment the way we get fulfillment
is self-respect is self-confidence and
that’s how somehow in your life you must
begin to separate what you do from what
people think about it you know this the
people that have really won in life in
in business they eventually drop the
addiction to what other people think
about them they’re most concerned about
what they think about them or if they’re
a person of faith of what their God
thinks about them not the rest of the
world because the higher you climb the
more haters you’re gonna have there’s
absolutely no question about it
you ought to hope you have more of them
the only thing I will warn people of is
the higher you climb the closer to you
the haters are so right now if you’re at
one level of success its people at a
distance there are haters but as you
climb higher there’s always the one or
two people in your close circle we’re
gonna try to pull you back down because
they think you’re leaving them they make
you your success is making them
uncomfortable about where they are and
so they begin to do everything they can
to pull you back down so the closer the
haters are to you the even more
successful haven’t rolled over chilling
practice gratitude I had a really good
friend of mine I went to lunch and he
said I don’t know who this guy is here
in front of me and he goes let me ask
you a question honestly right now what
are you grateful for and at the lunch I
said Jack nothing brother there’s
nothing good in my life right now and
I’m not exaggerating this to you when I
tell you this and this is a factual
story as I’m mouthing these words two
people walked in with an older man both
of them clearly were fighting cancer
somehow both had lost their hair one of
the ladies had a bonnet on and they were
barely moving in both walked by our
table and gave me the most warm greeting
the warmest smile as a stranger and he
goes that’s pretty freaking pathetic you
can’t find anything in your life to be
grateful
for right now and on the drive home I’m
not kidding you I started to stack
gratitude I started to taking inventory
because if you can find things to be
grateful for in that space man as your
life going to be rich when there really
are external things to be grateful for
so my first mechanism out of that space
was honestly to stack the things I was
grateful for and I started reinforcing
it over and over and over again and what
happens is there’s this reticular
activating system in our brains right
and all of a sudden because that’s the
messaging I was giving myself all of a
sudden all these things start to come
into my awareness that I’m grateful for
I start to magnetized to myself some
people that I needed to find into my
life and that was the next layer I
started to see things to be grateful for
my health my fitness people who loved me
and when it did it changed my state when
I stacked gratitude I changed what I did
in the morning and I changed what I did
in the evening and so somehow by
grabbing control of my morning and by
grabbing control of my evening I got
some measure of control over the middle
of my day I was an out of control person
back in those days meaning this I woke
up worried stressed fearful and I
immediately started thinking about a
bill I had to pay something that was
wrong and I’m in a state of reaction to
begin every sound talk within six
minutes of waking up six seconds most
people listening to this that’s what
they do I said I got to grab control of
my morning and I set up routines in my
morning maybe they serve me maybe they
didn’t but they were things I could
deliver on doing for myself and so not
only did that give me control over the
day but I started to stack my
self-confidence to rule number three
turn your mentors into France I want to
trim my mentors into my friends like you
and I are gonna we’re gonna become great
friends because the highest level of
influence is actually friend like if you
have kids anybody out there the truth is
and most you guys are so young but you
don’t really worry about who their
teachers are that’s their mentor your
buddy they hang out with you know this
one when you were a kid right show
friends so you gotta turn your mentors
in a friends long term but for me when I
was a little boy I played baseball
miracle I’m at a baseball camp rod
Carew’s there who’s a Hall of Fame
baseball player he’s the guest coach at
the baseball camp all the other kids hey
can I get an autograph blah blah blah I
went up to him and said mr. crew will
you be my coach I’m eight years old Wow
eight years old my coach
left-handed hitter he’s Rod Carew you
don’t know he is Google it right he goes
I might coach you let me see you hit and
I get in the cage and I batted just like
him he used to bat with his bat flat
like this instead of up and I bet it
just like him and he ends up meeting my
dad and he goes you know I was thinking
of starting to hitting school why
doesn’t he be my first student so when
I’m 8 years old my hitting coach ends up
becoming Rod Carew until I leave to go
to college is that crazy and then once I
got into the business world though I
knew that principal and so I would start
to put myself in environments Oh Tony
Robbins has been a major influence on me
I had a goal my goal was I went to one
of his seminars and I’m like okay well
that was cool but I want to know him and
so over time I saw the mouse odd amount
sought him out and then you know the way
you get a mentor eventually too is that
somehow there’s reciprocity involved you
bring them some value yeah you teach
them something you give them something
they can’t get with this love belief
care time admiration whatever it is so
Tony’s been a major one for me
Phil Knight’s been a significant one for
me Stallone’s been one these are you
know the point of my life now where
those are guys that have made a major
major impact on me what mentors do for
you is they don’t only teach you things
but they they make you want to live up
to their belief in them and I think the
other thing is they can hold you
accountable differently than you can
yourself because you don’t want to let
someone down whom you respect the dad
principle that you said earlier right so
I haven’t won in my life because I’m
trying to prove something to Tony
Robbins but part of the steps of my life
have been when I make a verbal
commitment to him that I’m going to do
something I want to build a reputation
with him that I keep my promises and
that’s different and so that’s what my
mentors have done for me and I still
seek them out all the time in whatever
area that I’m moving towards I’m always
trying to find out who the best at this
who should I build a relationship with
who should I collaborate with rule
number four increase your worth what are
some of the biggest barriers that people
face on their journey yeah the biggest
barrier is their own identity no
question about it it’s the way they see
themselves you know there’s that there’s
the old analogy of the thermostat in the
room right that you’re not gonna if
you’re if your lifestyle is set at 75
degrees if you get it going really good
in life gets heated up to 80 85 degrees
unconsciously we find a way to cool
things back down and get what we’re
comfortable most people good people have
a hard time winning isn’t that ironic
they always tell you good things happen
to good people
but the truth is that’s not always the
case because if you’re a good person it
means your morale and your ethical and
so what moral and ethical people have is
this governor and that is that they
don’t ever want to take more than they
think they’re worthy of or they deserve
a bad person will that’s why some of you
even listen to this people listen to
this will say there’s this guy at work
and he’s always number one on the silver
he’s not a good guy
because short term bad people could
actually get ahead of good people
now they’ll always flame out because you
do reap what you sow and you do it does
come home eventually but for a good
person to win they actually have to
increase what they think they’re worth
or what they’re worthy of or what they
deserve because good people will only
take from a business money anything in
life it only take from the table what
they think they deserve so if you can
increase your worth if you can increase
what you believe you deserve then you’ll
take more from life rule number five get
in touch with your gifts when I was
small mom I was also really under sized
so it’s probably the reason that lift
weights I was always there every
baseball picture I’m the kid holding the
sign in the front
right so I was small and skinny they
used to tease me Eddie spaghetti you
know and I’d get bullied at school and I
never retaliated so I had that mixed
with shyness mixed with chaos in my home
which many people can relate to and I
gotta tell you the the shift for me
sports was good for me because it gave
me an Al that I finally found something
that I was pretty good at I think the
biggest shift in our lives the things
that makes us the happiest is that when
somebody helps us identify our natural
giftedness and when I was a little boy
when I got a little bit older they
pointed out my speed so wasn’t my lack
of size I was fast
I was the fast kid right I always wanted
to be fast kid and I got confidence in
baseball doing that when I got into
business I said you know you’re intense
when someone points out a gift about you
that you also kind of intuitively know
to be true they’re linked to him if
you’re intense your passion you won’t
get out work you’re relentless I want I
am those things and when someone linked
those gifts to me winning now I believed
I could win that’s the other way to
change identity is when someone can link
your giftedness to the victory you’ll
believe it not like you’re great that’s
general that’s but it’s
something you know specific like for you
right now
you wouldn’t brag them there’s a few
things you know you know what I am good
right I’ve always been good at these
things that’s natural for me and when
someone links that to you winning like
for you for example you’re an
unbelievable interviewer you have this
general you you don’t need to be the
smartest person in the room because you
probably are most of the time and so
there’s a confidence though there’s a
confidence that allows you to be present
when you interview me and just listen
that’s different than anyone who’s
interviewed me before and so that’s a
natural giftedness for you which is why
there’s a part of you that kind of knows
I am pretty you wouldn’t say if I am
pretty good at this this is a good
program and so the way we change our
identity the way I changed mine was by
getting in touch with what some of my
natural gifts were and then using them
in my career using them in my life that
shifted the weight right off of me
because the weight was I suck I’m shy
I’m small I have a screwed-up family
that’s the weight right the lifting off
of the way it is these are some gifts
God gave me or the universe gave me or
than at least I know I have and I can
spend my life using these gifts now I’ve
got hope now my identity is changing now
my life takes a different direction rule
number six feed yourself first if you
really want to be a leader okay if you
really want to affect other people you
really true if you authentic you really
want to affect me here’s the bottom line
okay the bottom line real effectiveness
you cannot transfer to me something that
which you are not experiencing yourself
so you must first experience it before
you can give it to me so if you really
want to experience energy faith passion
drive discipline achievement you have to
be experiencing it first to
authentically transfer that to me so you
can’t always eat last it can’t always
you can’t feed everybody else if you’re
starving
yeah spiritually emotionally financially
you can’t feed everyone if you’re
starving Jesus could do it because Jesus
was fed he’s Jesus you’re a human being
okay you’re not a deity and so you must
be fed you must be filled up before you
can fill up for everybody else rule
number seven builds self-confidence
I think the first key in building
self-confidence it comes from a
foundation of something people don’t
talk about which is keeping promises
that you actually make to yourself
in other words self-confident people
really are self trusting people so they
have this habit over time of when they
tell themselves they’re going to do
something they actually deliver on it if
you stack up those wins over and over
again if you say I’m gonna get up
a certain time in the morning I’m gonna
go to the gym I’m gonna make a certain
amount of phone calls or I’m gonna eat a
certain way if you begin to keep those
promises you make to yourself you begin
to build that trust within yourself that
you can rely on you and that’s really
what self-confidence is and so typically
in first of all they don’t tell you this
that really starts with keeping the
promises that you make to you and that’s
the foundation all confidence is built
on rule number eight celebrate your life
there’s this thing people think that
like I’ll be happy when once I get like
this big amazing home or once I get this
car or once I get this relationship or
an amount of money then I’ll allow
myself some happiness the problem is the
finish line always moves you never
arrived there right the other part is
people think well if I enjoy myself now
I’m gonna lose my drive in other words
if I can just wire myself with enough
pain all the time I won’t lose my driver
ambition the truth is there’s no
correlation between the two at all
there’s no relationship between you
feeling complete pain all the time and
losing drive and so I talk about living
in a state of blissful dissatisfaction
and really the best example of that
would be like if you’ve ever I love a
good meal right you know if I bought
into a great piece of steak if you’re a
steak eater like I am you take that
first bite it’s like complete bliss
right there’s no correlation between how
great that tasted and your lack of
desire for the next bite in fact that
bliss causes you to want more of it and
so the more we can be into a reward
ourselves with bliss we’re not gonna
lose our dissatisfaction we’re not gonna
we’re not gonna lose that and so for me
our brains
there’s dopamine hit you get when you do
something successful if you constantly
cheat yourself out of that it right
biomechanically in your body less and
less in the future where you want to
achieve the next level the next dream
the next step and that’s why so many
people stall out in life they didn’t
they got to a certain point and they
cheated themselves out of the bliss out
of a celebration it’s important that we
celebrate our wins we celebrate our
lives because it causes us to want the
next bite it keeps us hungrier not the
reverse and so for me I want to live in
a state of being grateful and blissful
now not waiting for some future place or
date that may never arise rule number
nine invest in things you understand
biggest money mistake I made in my life
is investing in things that I don’t
understand
and we’re too late like stocks yeah
stocks I bought that I knew nothing
about that I heard on at CNBC I should
buy or having some guy the one things I
like about your real estate deals it’s
straightforward it’s it’s it’s simple
it’s easy to understand if you present
me a deal now and I can’t regurgitate it
back to you real quick in some simple
form I’m not investing in it I need to
at least understand what it is I’m
investing in yeah even if even if you
miss something you’re willing to miss
something
I’ll miss something yeah I’ve missed so
many things yeah so if I can’t
understand it or it’s too complicated
and I can’t repeat it back to you pretty
quickly you lost me yeah what was so
what’s the biggest loss you had in not
following that advice would you buy one
I bought I bought Yahoo stock at about I
don’t remember 75 or 80 bucks a share
and I’m talking like when I had about 3
million bucks I put like 800 grand in
there and I think I ended up selling it
in like 17 about Citigroup’s how would
you buy that I think in the 70s or 80s I
couldn’t exact on us and then like after
I learned that lesson uh 140 grand yeah
then I no no you lost seven hundred and
then we’ll give you two more Biggie’s
second one I did is I bought citi bank
stock CN group stock at like fifty four
dollars a share
yeah 2008 which that was about seven
hundred thousand dollars worth of that
and I think I sold it at two fifty two
dollars and fifty cents is when I
finally sold it because I heard they
were going to be the next day AIG yeah
they work too huh and then the third one
is stuff you talk about I bought a
residential real estate property that
did not provide any revenue did not
provide any equity for me
that was a what what do you call it it
would be like a trophy property like hey
I’m a big shot in the big time about
what I was now I wasn’t that long ago
either and that was a property that I
wasn’t gonna use wasn’t getting leverage
out of didn’t generate revenue I didn’t
know anything about the market I was
buying and I just wanted to look like a
big shot and I think I lost two and a
half million on that house and that
wasn’t that long ago that’s just a few
years ago so I’ve still made some
mistakes in my life but though those are
probably the biggest loss probably that
house on one
was probably that house allows to the
Heritage already million maybe I lost
three million on that and rule number
ten the last one before a very special
bonus that is max L your life
what is max out really stand for for you
and when did that moment happen where
you knew that that was any part of your
brand yeah what my sons names max so
that helped but maxed out to me means
this is you know your obsessions become
your possessions whatever you end up
being obsessed with you’ll eventually
possess so if you’re obsessed with what
you’re worried about your fears your
problems you’re going to possess those
and so I became obsessed the the short
version is is that you don’t know this I
don’t talk about this on camera very
much when I was thirty my uncle died at
50 years old and he was the guy in my
family we all have this that you kind of
resemble or remind everybody uh I my
dad’s brother he died at 50 sorry
no thank you I appreciate that it’s a
long time ago now and but he was kind of
my godfather and on my culture that’s a
big deal of course might as well yeah I
know Uncle Mike yeah mine was my Uncle
Mike whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa everywhere
right whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah I thought
a universe where expect oh wow okay you
got me right there so mine was my Uncle
Mike Wow and I just touched me so mine
was my Uncle Mike and that blows my mind
right there brother so a mom I’m at his
funeral we’re flying back on the flight
there’s this thing in your brain called
the reticular activating system it
basically filters into your awareness
what’s important to you that’s why like
if you buy a new car all of a sudden you
see that car everywhere on the freeway
three lanes over on the other side
another one they were always there why
do you see him now filtered into your
importance and heart attacks we’re at my
he had died of a heart attack and so I’m
on the airplane and I’m listening to
music and on the streams the Oprah show
but I’m it’s in my awareness and it’s a
heart on the screen I’m like unplug my
headphones plug into the phone system
and it was about a new heart scan that
was happening at cedars-sinai where they
could like it’s common now but they
could
basically look at your heart and your
arteries long story short I hear it and
I told my wife I said scheduled me for
one of those exams she’s like it’s
expense I said I don’t care schedule it
we call it’s a nine-month wait I go I
need to get in I need to get in I keep
calling the lady finally she goes
there’s a cancellation tomorrow at 2:00
I go I’ll be there so I go down for the
scan and thank god this doctor
understood influence and leverage do you
do the scan then you come back after
lunch I literally went ate a burrito
came back I wasn’t in shape I’m 30 years
old the doctor comes out and he goes oh
no I’m looking for Edward Miele it I go
it’s my let you know and he goes he knew
it he goes well I can’t believe these
arteries are in that young a body Wow
you need to come back son now my heart’s
racing I’m like what the hell’s in the
skin we sit down instead of what a
normal doctor would do they just go hey
um here’s the prescription take crest or
workout eat good bye
he understood reasons is what changes
people’s lives massive reasons not
discipline reasons and habits right he
does let me ask you a question
your wife’s beautiful do you have kids I
go yeah I go I got a son he’s 1 he goes
that’s great um do you wanna be there
when he graduates high school I went
what he was do you wanna be there when
he graduates high school I said yeah he
goes ok uh is she pregnant huh yeah what
does she have and I said a girl you get
to a dad does what you say he goes would
you like to walk that little girl down
the aisle on her wedding day so I went
what what is in the scan dude and he
goes I want to be very clear with you
young man I remember this like yesterday
there’s only very clear with you young
man if you continue down the road you’re
going another man’s gonna live with your
beautiful wife in your mansion walk to
your son at graduation and he’s gonna be
arm in arm with your daughter on her
wedding day
not you you won’t long actually as I
tell you this right now dude right
and he goes what I’m gonna get you to do
is I’m gonna get you to max out your
life and your fitness and I went give me
it
yeah and he gave me exactly what I
needed to do and he said if you do this
you’ll walk her down the aisle blah blah
blah from that day when I get up like I
did this morning and I’m tired and I was
late last night and I don’t want to go
to the gym I swear to your brother I
swear to you I go Bella’s wedding get
your ass up and I
I’m fit because I have massive reasons
that’s why I’m fit and that started the
journey towards maxing out every area of
my life I’m Michael I can do this in my
fitness I can do this in business I can
do this in my spirituality and
everything I’m not gonna shortchange
myself by pretty good I’m gonna see what
my real potential is what my maximum
capacity is every single day because at
the end of my life when I do die I have
this belief that when I’m done the
Lord’s gonna go well done good and
faithful servant and by the way here’s
the man you could have been this is the
man you were born to be this is the man
you were destined to be this is where
you could have gone but you could have
seen the memory she could have had the
people you could have helped the person
you could have become I meet him my
obsession is that every day I’m chasing
that dude so that when I do die we meet
we’re identical twins because the bad
end of a life whether it would be at
thirty fifty or a hundred and fifty
would be I meet that guy and we’re total
strangers
so I’m obsessed with meeting that guy
someday and that’s what maxing out means
now we have a special bonus tip from and
on how to be a great leader that I think
you’re gonna enjoy but before that it’s
time for the three-point landing
questions time to move from just
watching on the video to taking action
in your life or business and if you’re
feeling bold leave your answers in the
comments below here we go question
number one what does maxing out your
life look like for you number two how
can you celebrate your life’s more and
number three where do you need to feed
yourself first I want people to that I
mentor to do better than me so if you’re
in this thing we’re like that you want
people to do well around you but you
need to do better than them you’re
really not leading people so leadership
is really simple here’s how you lead
somebody every human being just even
like what you’re just describing
yourself is born with their natural
giftedness if you’re a person of faith I
believe it was sewn into you but if you
could just call your talent you don’t
have faith so for example it could be
your ability to communicate your heart
your spirit your nurturing skills your
engineering skills your math skills your
discipline right your whatever it is you
were born with natural gift students
here’s what a great leader does and it’s
you’ll be one of the rarest people on
earth if you can do this for people just
get quiet observe people as a leader and
when you can identify what someone’s two
or three natural gifts are and they’re
things they know intuitively to be true
about themselves and you link that gift
to them
chiefing you’ve built a leader as if I
said to you it’s your natural heart to
serve people brother
it’s your unbelievable ability to
communicate it’s your mom and our
background in your ear that whole time
supporting you given you link that’s
what you’re gonna change the world and
you go that I do have a great mom I do
have a heart to serve I do have a big
spirit and you link that to them boom
because here’s the truth in life those
either are listening on one hand if
you’re lucky probably there’s one or two
fingers you can count the person who
that when you’re a little boy or a
little girl made you feel special knew
you were special remember them just
picture their face right now you know
exactly what I’m talking about
maybe it’s your mother or a coach or
your grandpa or an uncle or an auntie
and that’s the one when you’re a little
boy or girl they made you feel special
they knew you were different they knew
you reading they saw your blessings they
saw your gifts maybe you got one in your
life and when you picture their face
whether they’ve passed away or still
living you get emotional you can picture
the times they made you feel that way
can’t you write okay
if you’re a great leader you end up on
that hand of thousands of people so in
my life I want to be that person one of
them may picture in my life ed my let
was this guy who saw how special I was
he saw my gifts he saw my blessings he
told me over and over again how blessed
and gifted I am and he linked that to me
winning it wasn’t some rah-rah you’re
gonna do great man you’re a champion
Go Go Go no no it was deep he would
touch me in my spirit he found my gift
and my blessing and when you’re that
person you will be on the hands of
someone in their life one or two places
three places of their entire life that’s
if you want more head my let’s check out
the other top ten rules video me than
him the link is right there next to me I
think you’ll enjoy it continue to
believe and I’ll see you there
we all know someone right now in our
life or we have who’s not ethical who’s
not a good person who’s winning they’re
like I can’t believe they’re getting it right
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