I try out my first no say no learn how
to say no say no say no learning to say
no say no to things
what’s that belief nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe in your potential and I want
to see that thing that you have inside
here come out and explode into the world
to make it a better place and so to help
you on your journey today we’re gonna
learn how to say no and as always guys
as you watch it if you hear something
that really resonates with you please
leave it in the comments below and put
quotes around and so other people can
learn and be inspired and when you write
it down it’s much more likely to stick
with yourself as well
enjoy
[Music]
I have a ritual where even if given my
closest friend I have boundaries so just
because it’s my company it doesn’t mean
I can take calls all day right I have
boundaries so you can’t call me in a
certain time why I’m working so I’m on
the phone all day and I’m saying this to
entrepreneurs because one of the gaps
and we’ll talk about this later in the
show but you got to find a gap and one
of the gaps that entrepreneurs is that
they feel like because they own their
day they can spend it like they want you
cannot spend it like you want to so if
you were working for IBM or you’re
working for for where are you’re working
for you could be on the phone all day at
a major corporation talking on the phone
so so why do you allow yourself to talk
on the phone is your business my fact is
your you should probably you should make
sure there’s no phone calls board over
your business so one of my rituals is
when I get started there are no
interruptions when I get started I don’t
care if it’s my wife my children they
know that from a certain time train I’m
going all in and I can’t go all in ants
on the phone I can’t go all in watching
TV in the strike head I can’t go in with
the distraction and so some
entrepreneurs like why blown up because
you don’t you’re not in abstraction you
don’t have that that that moment of your
day
I don’t care there’s two hours four
hours where you shut in try your world
out no Twitter no Facebook no you know
that no Instagram we love that in Sudama
so with just the two hours I’m going in
and once I come out then we can do
Instagram not be honest your content
probably would be stronger if you had
that that time of isolation of solitude
where you give yourself a chance to
think you give yourself a chance to go
in and when you go in you go 120 percent
so yeah I like that you know cuz when I
first started making money and it was
you know my salary or my earnings were
published all over the place I mean the
first year I was like really
I make that much money oh my god it was
very difficult for me to figure out
where my boundaries were because I’d
grown up poor and didn’t have anything
so it’s easy when you don’t have
anything then people ask you for money
and they say I need five hundred he’s
and I don’t have it because I’m just
trying to get my rent paid it’s harder
when you’re multi billion dollar salary
is now in the paper and you get a lot of
friends and cousins you didn’t have
before so how do you set boundaries for
yourself I was having trouble setting
boundaries myself for myself for even
strangers people would just show up at
my door in Chicago and say Oprah I left
my husband please help me and I would
because she knows I have it so don’t try
that now though okay don’t try that now
I figured it out so what I learned was
is that oh the reason why people keep
showing up is because my intention is to
make them think that I’m such a nice
person that you can ask me for anything
you can get me to do anything I’m gonna
say yes I’m gonna say yes so when Stevie
called me this time I thought I’d try
out my first no on Stevie let’s start
big he wanted me to donate some money to
a charity and I didn’t want to donate to
the charity because I have my own
charities and I care about a lot of
people but the problem is when you you
have money everybody thinks you just
want to give to everything so every
letter I ever get starts with we know
you love the children
yes I do love the children but somebody
else is gonna have to help the children
so I said to Stevie I said to Stevie no
and as a person who has that disease to
please I was waiting for him then just
to say I will never speak to you again I
will never call you I will never sing a
song for you and he didn’t he just said
okay okay okay it’s okay he said okay
check you later and what I learned from
that is many times you will have angst
and worry about things and put yourself
in a state like someone said this
morning cuz her phone went off they were
mortified over a phone I said really you
will put yourself in a state when the
other person really isn’t even thinking
about you so learning that I could
specifically determine for myself what
the boundaries were for me what I wanted
to do give my money give my time given
of my service to who I wanted to give it
to when I did that I get to make that
decision and just because you get a
hundred requests a week doesn’t mean you
have to try to fulfill all of that just
because you have all of these demands on
your time and on you doesn’t mean that
you have to say yes you get to decide
because you’re the master of your fate
the captain of your soul is William
Ernest Henley said in Invictus an
understanding that really change the
meaning of my life and that I was not no
longer driven by what other people
wanted me to do but took charge of my
own destiny making choices based upon
what do I feel is the next right move
for me it’s 8:00 a.m. like I got to get
to the office and I was like why like
why do I have to get like I I always
wanted to be a writer I accomplished
this thing
I could make a living being a writer I
have a home like I haven’t been there in
weeks
like why am I here and and I was like I
was here because like I just said yes
and I didn’t think about like I mean I
didn’t actually weigh like the pros and
cons of this scenario and again it’s
like sometimes you got to do it you
don’t want to do to figure out what you
want to do but it was like I I’d sort of
distance myself from a lot of things and
I got it got my life in a good place and
then someone called me and offered me
money on the phone and I said yes
because it’s so hard to say like it’s so
hard to to say notice stuff like
especially if you’re like a do it’s so
hard to say like I want to do this but I
also want to do that I have to choose
that’s easy to say like I’m gonna try to
do both at the same time and I said yes
to both like I don’t I don’t think I’ve
ever like quit anything like I’ve just
added new stuff right and so for me that
certainly has added up over time to an
unsustainable load oh I’m great at
boundaries I’m not great at boundaries
I’m kidding I so thought that was gonna
be a laugh line I thought you guys knew
me I thought you knew me well enough to
know that what no I I don’t have any
better I’m the permeable membrane I
don’t know I let I let the you know I am
a little better at it but but I have I
don’t know I have learned one important
thing which is that I think you sort of
get to a point in your life where you
think I have to learn how to say no to
things I don’t want to do and that’s a
big mature moment when you start to
begin to do that but the bigger mature
moment is when you learn how to say no
to things you do want to do because you
know that you just don’t have time or
you don’t have energy or there just
isn’t you know you have to sort of
triage your life and there just isn’t an
opportunity and and that only came to me
very recently that sometimes you you
have to turn down even the wonderful
things in order to take care of your
health or to take care of what you truly
truly truly care about not just what you
truly
care about in order to know when to say
no you have to know what you stand for
it’s why I wrote this book to figure out
what your most important core value is
your one word that’s what you stand for
and therefore you know you stand against
to know how to say no and when they say
no you have to know this is not what I’m
about I’m not willing to touch this I’m
not willing to go there and if you don’t
know what you stand for and you don’t
know you stand against then you’re
always gonna be subject to other
people’s opinions other people’s plans
are the people’s values and beliefs
because if you have uncertainty if you
don’t have clarity over what your values
are then you’ll just follow somebody
else’s values and that’s very rarely in
your best interest and so getting really
clear on what your values are whether
you want to use the one word methodology
or you have a different plan for
yourself that’s fine but having a
self-awareness to figure out this is
what I stand for this is what I want out
of life and this is also what I am no
longer willing to accept when people
cross these boundaries I’m not gonna
play anymore I’m gonna say no until you
understand what your values are then it
can be really tricky to understand the
difference between what is your value
and what is a limited belief so as an
example was on a call with an
entrepreneur a couple days ago and he
was struggling at his business and he
was working for a client and the client
was asking him to get more involved in
their business to do more work with them
and he was having a hard time figuring
out whether he should do it or not and
it’s two reasons why one is because they
were kind of shady and he wasn’t sure
how much you know in bed he wanted to
get with them and two because they were
asking him to take on more of a
leadership role and to manage people and
he wasn’t sure that he wanted to be a
leader he didn’t know if he was good
enough to be a leader those are two
totally different processes that you
need to break up right so if they are
shady that’s against your core value
like if you know what your core value is
and then these people are against it
then no matter how much they’re paying
you or you know what they want to push
you through or
or even the good that they’re
necessarily doing it’s not worth it
because asking to cross the line that
you’re not willing to cross you know my
one word is believe if you want me to do
something that’s gonna tear somebody
else down and you’re gonna pay me a
million dollars to do it I don’t want to
do it because it’s against my core value
it’s easier to say no it’s and it
becomes hard to say no and there’s a lot
of money being thrown at you right the
devil always comes carrying a bag of
cash so to know that this is where I’m
gonna say Nolan draw the line because I
know what I stand for so working with a
shady company is a reason to say no
potentially the other side is the
leadership he hasn’t done leadership
before he hasn’t managed a team before
he hasn’t been involved in that process
before and he’s scared that is a
limiting belief that’s not necessarily a
value thing it’s aluminum belief feeling
like you’re not good enough pushing
yourself to get on your comfort zone and
try doing something new a car in a new
skill that you’re afraid of potentially
acquiring right jump into that next
level so there’s a lot of different
reasons to say no here and be able to
separate them if you’re saying no
because they’re a shady organization
then great then say no because you’re
staying firm when your values if you’re
saying no because they want you to be a
leader and you’re just afraid because
you haven’t done that before and you
feel like you’re not good enough that’s
not a good reason to say no that’s a
living to believe that is worth you
testing out try it and see if you’re a
good leader right and if you get into it
and you really feel like this isn’t for
you then you found that out but to make
an assumption about something you
haven’t tried before it’s gonna hold you
back and so until you understand what it
is that you stand for and then stand
against it’s going to be hard to make
the important decisions in your life
it’s going to be hard to say no when you
really should be saying no it’s gonna be
hard to say yes to something when
everything inside you is just afraid
because it’s a limiting belief but you
really should do it to push your comfort
zone and get to that next place for
yourself and so comes down to the
self-awareness but you know what you’re
staying for you know what you stand
against you figure out your value system
you figure out your one word the path
forward becomes so much more clear the
can go so much faster it’s so much more
done because you’re following a path
that you’re meant to follow
be more explicit in communicating your
boundaries be more explicit and
communicating your time so if you’re
gonna want a meeting sit down and say
guys I have 45 minutes today for this
meeting can’t go a second over and like
oh okay and stop going over on your
times if you said you were gonna work
out for an hour work out for an hour
stop go a lot of the what I call bleed
time ends up taking away from our
balance bleed time is those things where
you’re you go over on things that you
didn’t need to go over on you know that
that one cocktail with your friend and
it’ll be on in 16 No and you lost the
entire night now or that one you know
lunch meeting you’re gonna have turned
into four hours and now you’ve lost the
day of work or that one show you’re
gonna watch before getting back to work
turn into a whole season and you’re like
oh no the day the night is gone that’s
called bleed time it’s where so much
time just dissipates because you didn’t
stick to your mark so set your boundary
communicate it clear with people and
don’t go over on things anymore a lot of
people if they just started with the
intention said we’re only gonna do this
for this much time and then we gotta go
if they stuck to that they would get
better balanced briga as an actor do you
have any lines in your head in terms of
what you will do when you want to yeah
nudity for sure I would for sure
like never also I’m I played bold paths
but I don’t like a lot of skin show and
not explain it like an answer I was
always in pants suits but the intensity
in the path was sexual I don’t have to
dress it
you don’t ever dress provocatively yeah
I mean I do it for magazine cover here
and there because it’s glamorous and
it’s pretty but like the reason one of
the big reasons I did the show with ABC
was because they’re Disney so there’s
only that much for American standards
that we can do on the show which is
pretty much as much as indie films it
difference between wearing a bikini and
a bra you know and I’m indeed enough I
understand that so and I want to those
lines are important to me there’s a
place in you that you must keep
inviolate you must keep it pristine
clean so that nobody has a right to
curse you up treat you badly nobody know
mother father no wife no husband knows
nobody because that may be the place you
go to when you meet God you have to have
a page but they just say stop it
back up not even must not know no
absolutely and that’s one I told you 25
years ago
yes say no when it’s no yeah say so back
it up because that piece has to remain
clean and clear and that has to be a
place within you yes ma’am yeah how can
you find the time the energy the effort
and the nerve to start to make that
first call to put out that first bandit
sign to put up a Craigslist they have to
start to twenty five to one to call
banks how do you do that well this one
today is learning to say no now one
thing I’ve learned from the most
successful people on the planet if you
want to say millionaires I’ve been lucky
enough to meet billionaires the one
thing I’ve learned the more they say no
the wealthier they get now you may have
heard me say this before but it’s that
important of a success principle it took
you a lot of yeses to get here yes the
over time yes to missing your kids you
know soccer or dance class yes to your
wife your husband getting upset cuz
you’re working later yes to getting my
program yes to go into a live event yes
to getting the education yes yes yes yes
to your friends you know you if you’re
watching this you are the busiest people
other people know they say if you want
something done ask somebody busy because
they know how to get things done that’s
you you’re the person in your family
amongst your friends I know it or else
you wouldn’t be watching me that get
asked for emotional support financial
support for a ride for help for advice
so you are used to saying yes so this
week I want you to say no I want you to
make a list of the things that you must
say no to so you can focus on you
so you can make a massive impact for
your family you want to help family
members that need money say no to them
for a year becoming an incredible real
estate investor and then if you want to
cut them checks you can if you want to
give more to your church you want to
give more to charity say no for a little
while to so many things so your brains
not all over the place we think we have
a DD most of us don’t have a DD there’s
just too much coming at us and we say
yes to too many things so here’s the
assignment what can you figure out to
say no to this week because if you say
no to things that don’t improve your
life don’t improve your family’s life
don’t possibly increase your future
income or put you on a path to the goals
that you have to spend more time with
your family to get out of a job you hate
to pay off bills I don’t know what they
are but you have to make a not a to-do
list but you have to make a list of what
not to do who are you gonna say no to
who are you gonna disappoint what are
you gonna let go what habits are eating
up your time we all have the same amount
of time of the day but it’s just we have
filled the day up with all these things
that we think we need to do I go like
commitments we’ve you know one thing I
was coaching soccer because I thought
that was important for him for my kids I
was on the PTA the board of the PTO when
my kids school because I thought that
was important but I realized that I was
spending time doing stuff with other
people instead of the actual kids so I
realized if I let go those commitments
even though I thought they were
important I have time then to actually
spend with people who report to me so
you learn to let go of commitments and
say no to things
so you can say yes to the things you
really want that are really important to
you so I had to
I mean sometimes as simple as like just
an email saying I can’t do this anymore
I don’t have the time that you know and
you feel like you’re gonna disappoint
people so you don’t want to say no yeah
but you know what I learned
life goes on they figure they figure it
out thank you guys so much for watching
I hope you enjoyed I’d love to know what
did you think of this video what was the
message that stuck most true to you what
are you going to immediately apply
somehow to your life or to your business
please leave it down in the comments
below I look forward to hearing what you
have to say I also want to give a quick
shout out to Neil from the stream of
thought podcast Neil thank you so much
for picking up a copy of my book your
one word and sharing it online I really
appreciate the support and I hope you
enjoyed the read our guest today is Evan
Carmichael so thank you guys again for
watching I believe in you I hope you
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love I’ll
see you soon the most important word
ever
if you had to think of one word that’s
most important to you that sums you
Apple so it would be like a little
beacon pay believe nation if you want to
know what the most important one word is
for Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk Oprah
Winfrey will.i.am and Howard Schultz I
have a very special secret video for you
check the description for details
[Music]
to say no say no say no learning to say
no say no to things
what’s that belief nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe in your potential and I want
to see that thing that you have inside
here come out and explode into the world
to make it a better place and so to help
you on your journey today we’re gonna
learn how to say no and as always guys
as you watch it if you hear something
that really resonates with you please
leave it in the comments below and put
quotes around and so other people can
learn and be inspired and when you write
it down it’s much more likely to stick
with yourself as well
enjoy
[Music]
I have a ritual where even if given my
closest friend I have boundaries so just
because it’s my company it doesn’t mean
I can take calls all day right I have
boundaries so you can’t call me in a
certain time why I’m working so I’m on
the phone all day and I’m saying this to
entrepreneurs because one of the gaps
and we’ll talk about this later in the
show but you got to find a gap and one
of the gaps that entrepreneurs is that
they feel like because they own their
day they can spend it like they want you
cannot spend it like you want to so if
you were working for IBM or you’re
working for for where are you’re working
for you could be on the phone all day at
a major corporation talking on the phone
so so why do you allow yourself to talk
on the phone is your business my fact is
your you should probably you should make
sure there’s no phone calls board over
your business so one of my rituals is
when I get started there are no
interruptions when I get started I don’t
care if it’s my wife my children they
know that from a certain time train I’m
going all in and I can’t go all in ants
on the phone I can’t go all in watching
TV in the strike head I can’t go in with
the distraction and so some
entrepreneurs like why blown up because
you don’t you’re not in abstraction you
don’t have that that that moment of your
day
I don’t care there’s two hours four
hours where you shut in try your world
out no Twitter no Facebook no you know
that no Instagram we love that in Sudama
so with just the two hours I’m going in
and once I come out then we can do
Instagram not be honest your content
probably would be stronger if you had
that that time of isolation of solitude
where you give yourself a chance to
think you give yourself a chance to go
in and when you go in you go 120 percent
so yeah I like that you know cuz when I
first started making money and it was
you know my salary or my earnings were
published all over the place I mean the
first year I was like really
I make that much money oh my god it was
very difficult for me to figure out
where my boundaries were because I’d
grown up poor and didn’t have anything
so it’s easy when you don’t have
anything then people ask you for money
and they say I need five hundred he’s
and I don’t have it because I’m just
trying to get my rent paid it’s harder
when you’re multi billion dollar salary
is now in the paper and you get a lot of
friends and cousins you didn’t have
before so how do you set boundaries for
yourself I was having trouble setting
boundaries myself for myself for even
strangers people would just show up at
my door in Chicago and say Oprah I left
my husband please help me and I would
because she knows I have it so don’t try
that now though okay don’t try that now
I figured it out so what I learned was
is that oh the reason why people keep
showing up is because my intention is to
make them think that I’m such a nice
person that you can ask me for anything
you can get me to do anything I’m gonna
say yes I’m gonna say yes so when Stevie
called me this time I thought I’d try
out my first no on Stevie let’s start
big he wanted me to donate some money to
a charity and I didn’t want to donate to
the charity because I have my own
charities and I care about a lot of
people but the problem is when you you
have money everybody thinks you just
want to give to everything so every
letter I ever get starts with we know
you love the children
yes I do love the children but somebody
else is gonna have to help the children
so I said to Stevie I said to Stevie no
and as a person who has that disease to
please I was waiting for him then just
to say I will never speak to you again I
will never call you I will never sing a
song for you and he didn’t he just said
okay okay okay it’s okay he said okay
check you later and what I learned from
that is many times you will have angst
and worry about things and put yourself
in a state like someone said this
morning cuz her phone went off they were
mortified over a phone I said really you
will put yourself in a state when the
other person really isn’t even thinking
about you so learning that I could
specifically determine for myself what
the boundaries were for me what I wanted
to do give my money give my time given
of my service to who I wanted to give it
to when I did that I get to make that
decision and just because you get a
hundred requests a week doesn’t mean you
have to try to fulfill all of that just
because you have all of these demands on
your time and on you doesn’t mean that
you have to say yes you get to decide
because you’re the master of your fate
the captain of your soul is William
Ernest Henley said in Invictus an
understanding that really change the
meaning of my life and that I was not no
longer driven by what other people
wanted me to do but took charge of my
own destiny making choices based upon
what do I feel is the next right move
for me it’s 8:00 a.m. like I got to get
to the office and I was like why like
why do I have to get like I I always
wanted to be a writer I accomplished
this thing
I could make a living being a writer I
have a home like I haven’t been there in
weeks
like why am I here and and I was like I
was here because like I just said yes
and I didn’t think about like I mean I
didn’t actually weigh like the pros and
cons of this scenario and again it’s
like sometimes you got to do it you
don’t want to do to figure out what you
want to do but it was like I I’d sort of
distance myself from a lot of things and
I got it got my life in a good place and
then someone called me and offered me
money on the phone and I said yes
because it’s so hard to say like it’s so
hard to to say notice stuff like
especially if you’re like a do it’s so
hard to say like I want to do this but I
also want to do that I have to choose
that’s easy to say like I’m gonna try to
do both at the same time and I said yes
to both like I don’t I don’t think I’ve
ever like quit anything like I’ve just
added new stuff right and so for me that
certainly has added up over time to an
unsustainable load oh I’m great at
boundaries I’m not great at boundaries
I’m kidding I so thought that was gonna
be a laugh line I thought you guys knew
me I thought you knew me well enough to
know that what no I I don’t have any
better I’m the permeable membrane I
don’t know I let I let the you know I am
a little better at it but but I have I
don’t know I have learned one important
thing which is that I think you sort of
get to a point in your life where you
think I have to learn how to say no to
things I don’t want to do and that’s a
big mature moment when you start to
begin to do that but the bigger mature
moment is when you learn how to say no
to things you do want to do because you
know that you just don’t have time or
you don’t have energy or there just
isn’t you know you have to sort of
triage your life and there just isn’t an
opportunity and and that only came to me
very recently that sometimes you you
have to turn down even the wonderful
things in order to take care of your
health or to take care of what you truly
truly truly care about not just what you
truly
care about in order to know when to say
no you have to know what you stand for
it’s why I wrote this book to figure out
what your most important core value is
your one word that’s what you stand for
and therefore you know you stand against
to know how to say no and when they say
no you have to know this is not what I’m
about I’m not willing to touch this I’m
not willing to go there and if you don’t
know what you stand for and you don’t
know you stand against then you’re
always gonna be subject to other
people’s opinions other people’s plans
are the people’s values and beliefs
because if you have uncertainty if you
don’t have clarity over what your values
are then you’ll just follow somebody
else’s values and that’s very rarely in
your best interest and so getting really
clear on what your values are whether
you want to use the one word methodology
or you have a different plan for
yourself that’s fine but having a
self-awareness to figure out this is
what I stand for this is what I want out
of life and this is also what I am no
longer willing to accept when people
cross these boundaries I’m not gonna
play anymore I’m gonna say no until you
understand what your values are then it
can be really tricky to understand the
difference between what is your value
and what is a limited belief so as an
example was on a call with an
entrepreneur a couple days ago and he
was struggling at his business and he
was working for a client and the client
was asking him to get more involved in
their business to do more work with them
and he was having a hard time figuring
out whether he should do it or not and
it’s two reasons why one is because they
were kind of shady and he wasn’t sure
how much you know in bed he wanted to
get with them and two because they were
asking him to take on more of a
leadership role and to manage people and
he wasn’t sure that he wanted to be a
leader he didn’t know if he was good
enough to be a leader those are two
totally different processes that you
need to break up right so if they are
shady that’s against your core value
like if you know what your core value is
and then these people are against it
then no matter how much they’re paying
you or you know what they want to push
you through or
or even the good that they’re
necessarily doing it’s not worth it
because asking to cross the line that
you’re not willing to cross you know my
one word is believe if you want me to do
something that’s gonna tear somebody
else down and you’re gonna pay me a
million dollars to do it I don’t want to
do it because it’s against my core value
it’s easier to say no it’s and it
becomes hard to say no and there’s a lot
of money being thrown at you right the
devil always comes carrying a bag of
cash so to know that this is where I’m
gonna say Nolan draw the line because I
know what I stand for so working with a
shady company is a reason to say no
potentially the other side is the
leadership he hasn’t done leadership
before he hasn’t managed a team before
he hasn’t been involved in that process
before and he’s scared that is a
limiting belief that’s not necessarily a
value thing it’s aluminum belief feeling
like you’re not good enough pushing
yourself to get on your comfort zone and
try doing something new a car in a new
skill that you’re afraid of potentially
acquiring right jump into that next
level so there’s a lot of different
reasons to say no here and be able to
separate them if you’re saying no
because they’re a shady organization
then great then say no because you’re
staying firm when your values if you’re
saying no because they want you to be a
leader and you’re just afraid because
you haven’t done that before and you
feel like you’re not good enough that’s
not a good reason to say no that’s a
living to believe that is worth you
testing out try it and see if you’re a
good leader right and if you get into it
and you really feel like this isn’t for
you then you found that out but to make
an assumption about something you
haven’t tried before it’s gonna hold you
back and so until you understand what it
is that you stand for and then stand
against it’s going to be hard to make
the important decisions in your life
it’s going to be hard to say no when you
really should be saying no it’s gonna be
hard to say yes to something when
everything inside you is just afraid
because it’s a limiting belief but you
really should do it to push your comfort
zone and get to that next place for
yourself and so comes down to the
self-awareness but you know what you’re
staying for you know what you stand
against you figure out your value system
you figure out your one word the path
forward becomes so much more clear the
can go so much faster it’s so much more
done because you’re following a path
that you’re meant to follow
be more explicit in communicating your
boundaries be more explicit and
communicating your time so if you’re
gonna want a meeting sit down and say
guys I have 45 minutes today for this
meeting can’t go a second over and like
oh okay and stop going over on your
times if you said you were gonna work
out for an hour work out for an hour
stop go a lot of the what I call bleed
time ends up taking away from our
balance bleed time is those things where
you’re you go over on things that you
didn’t need to go over on you know that
that one cocktail with your friend and
it’ll be on in 16 No and you lost the
entire night now or that one you know
lunch meeting you’re gonna have turned
into four hours and now you’ve lost the
day of work or that one show you’re
gonna watch before getting back to work
turn into a whole season and you’re like
oh no the day the night is gone that’s
called bleed time it’s where so much
time just dissipates because you didn’t
stick to your mark so set your boundary
communicate it clear with people and
don’t go over on things anymore a lot of
people if they just started with the
intention said we’re only gonna do this
for this much time and then we gotta go
if they stuck to that they would get
better balanced briga as an actor do you
have any lines in your head in terms of
what you will do when you want to yeah
nudity for sure I would for sure
like never also I’m I played bold paths
but I don’t like a lot of skin show and
not explain it like an answer I was
always in pants suits but the intensity
in the path was sexual I don’t have to
dress it
you don’t ever dress provocatively yeah
I mean I do it for magazine cover here
and there because it’s glamorous and
it’s pretty but like the reason one of
the big reasons I did the show with ABC
was because they’re Disney so there’s
only that much for American standards
that we can do on the show which is
pretty much as much as indie films it
difference between wearing a bikini and
a bra you know and I’m indeed enough I
understand that so and I want to those
lines are important to me there’s a
place in you that you must keep
inviolate you must keep it pristine
clean so that nobody has a right to
curse you up treat you badly nobody know
mother father no wife no husband knows
nobody because that may be the place you
go to when you meet God you have to have
a page but they just say stop it
back up not even must not know no
absolutely and that’s one I told you 25
years ago
yes say no when it’s no yeah say so back
it up because that piece has to remain
clean and clear and that has to be a
place within you yes ma’am yeah how can
you find the time the energy the effort
and the nerve to start to make that
first call to put out that first bandit
sign to put up a Craigslist they have to
start to twenty five to one to call
banks how do you do that well this one
today is learning to say no now one
thing I’ve learned from the most
successful people on the planet if you
want to say millionaires I’ve been lucky
enough to meet billionaires the one
thing I’ve learned the more they say no
the wealthier they get now you may have
heard me say this before but it’s that
important of a success principle it took
you a lot of yeses to get here yes the
over time yes to missing your kids you
know soccer or dance class yes to your
wife your husband getting upset cuz
you’re working later yes to getting my
program yes to go into a live event yes
to getting the education yes yes yes yes
to your friends you know you if you’re
watching this you are the busiest people
other people know they say if you want
something done ask somebody busy because
they know how to get things done that’s
you you’re the person in your family
amongst your friends I know it or else
you wouldn’t be watching me that get
asked for emotional support financial
support for a ride for help for advice
so you are used to saying yes so this
week I want you to say no I want you to
make a list of the things that you must
say no to so you can focus on you
so you can make a massive impact for
your family you want to help family
members that need money say no to them
for a year becoming an incredible real
estate investor and then if you want to
cut them checks you can if you want to
give more to your church you want to
give more to charity say no for a little
while to so many things so your brains
not all over the place we think we have
a DD most of us don’t have a DD there’s
just too much coming at us and we say
yes to too many things so here’s the
assignment what can you figure out to
say no to this week because if you say
no to things that don’t improve your
life don’t improve your family’s life
don’t possibly increase your future
income or put you on a path to the goals
that you have to spend more time with
your family to get out of a job you hate
to pay off bills I don’t know what they
are but you have to make a not a to-do
list but you have to make a list of what
not to do who are you gonna say no to
who are you gonna disappoint what are
you gonna let go what habits are eating
up your time we all have the same amount
of time of the day but it’s just we have
filled the day up with all these things
that we think we need to do I go like
commitments we’ve you know one thing I
was coaching soccer because I thought
that was important for him for my kids I
was on the PTA the board of the PTO when
my kids school because I thought that
was important but I realized that I was
spending time doing stuff with other
people instead of the actual kids so I
realized if I let go those commitments
even though I thought they were
important I have time then to actually
spend with people who report to me so
you learn to let go of commitments and
say no to things
so you can say yes to the things you
really want that are really important to
you so I had to
I mean sometimes as simple as like just
an email saying I can’t do this anymore
I don’t have the time that you know and
you feel like you’re gonna disappoint
people so you don’t want to say no yeah
but you know what I learned
life goes on they figure they figure it
out thank you guys so much for watching
I hope you enjoyed I’d love to know what
did you think of this video what was the
message that stuck most true to you what
are you going to immediately apply
somehow to your life or to your business
please leave it down in the comments
below I look forward to hearing what you
have to say I also want to give a quick
shout out to Neil from the stream of
thought podcast Neil thank you so much
for picking up a copy of my book your
one word and sharing it online I really
appreciate the support and I hope you
enjoyed the read our guest today is Evan
Carmichael so thank you guys again for
watching I believe in you I hope you
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love I’ll
see you soon the most important word
ever
if you had to think of one word that’s
most important to you that sums you
Apple so it would be like a little
beacon pay believe nation if you want to
know what the most important one word is
for Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk Oprah
Winfrey will.i.am and Howard Schultz I
have a very special secret video for you
check the description for details
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