be prepared for a lot of rejection
rejection is everywhere rejection is
something that you need to take what’s
that belief nation it’s Evan this
channel is designed to be a part of your
daily success routine and help you
believe in your Michael Jordan level
talent so today let’s learn one of the
most common rules that successful people
follow how to handle rejection also if
you want to know what will smith myself
and others in social entrepreneurs have
to say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days i will send you a free
morning video on building your
confidence the link is in the
description below
I was excited about taking a shot the
fact that it was so strange surround
yourself with greatness if you want to
be more confident you need to surround
yourself with things that make you feel
confident
the best advice I could give is number
one be prepared for a lot of rejection
if you’re ready for rejection of people
say no I don’t want it no it’s not going
to work no this is crazy whatever if
you’re prepared for it it’s not going to
let you down
learn from your failures I had a lot of
failures along the way even with my
patron and Paul Mitchell but we learn
from those things then we get a lot
better
rejection is everywhere you know we all
deal with the me worst of all the worst
of all you know I think the idea of
rejection is relative I mean if you you
take a you know a kid in a small town
and somebody posts something negative
about them and all that their friends
laugh you know that’s the worst
rejection a human being can experience
it’s not you know for that kid it’s not
any less than for my kid to read it in a
comment page you know it’s it’s
emotionally it’s it’s the same my kids
grew up in this world so they’re much
more acclimated to the difficulties of
this world but it doesn’t make it
emotionally more difficult or more
painful than for any other child who has
to deal with it I was rejected but it
was the best rejection ever for me to
lead me in a different direction the
direction where I’m heading towards
right now and that was back in 2007 I
applied for a job at a Lancome counter
at a department store because I wanted
to I really wanted to work in the beauty
industry I wanted to be a makeup artist
and I wanted to empower women through
just the art of beauty and so I went in
they were looking for a sales associate
and I applied for the job I filled out
the application I did sit-down interview
I answered all the right questions I
mean they were very impressed with my
knowledge and my passion
and the last question she asked me was
was have you ever worked in sales and I
said no I you know I’m a waitress I used
you know I know how to host I know how
to make people feel good and I know how
to really understand and read the fine
lines and details of people prison you
know like when you’re waiting tables you
really have to see like what someone
wants without them needing to say
anything to you
so it wasn’t good enough for her though
because she said well unfortunately we
do need someone that has experience in
sales and I said but I can learn you
know like please give me a shot you know
like just give me a chance I’m willing
to learn and I know I can I know I can
sell beauty I mean I love it I’m
passionate about it
two weeks later I never got the call
back and I was really devastated because
you know it’s a projection it’s it’s
tough because I think we’re all
programmed to wanting to have like
positive reinforcement and you know we
we want positive reinforcement we want
people to say yes we always want yes I
mean know is such a a negative like we
feel like sometimes we think no is
something bad but sometimes we need
knows in our lives to kind of shift us
in a different direction you know I
always find that in life like the
universe there’s always three answers
when you want something it’s either yes
not yet or I have something better so in
this case in this case I I knew that I
knew that there was going to be
something better I didn’t take that
rejection
I didn’t just I didn’t drop my love for
Biddy in fact I opened another door for
myself and that was through YouTube my
webcam and I said you know what I may
not be able to have a job as a sales
associate at a department store or
selling makeup but at least I can still
fulfill my passion and beauty by filming
these tutorials and helping girls and
inspiring girls to try a new beauty
looks and that’s what I did and two
years later lancome calls me and they
wanted me to become their official
online spokesperson I realized you know
how do I’ve gone back in time and and
told myself hey you know what this
rejection is something that you need to
take and you you know it’s not a bad
thing
I think like you know that was like the
best thing that ever happened to me was
that rejection so I absolutely agree
with you Andrea like sometimes rejection
is a blessing in disguise
rejection is part of life as an
entrepreneur you were gonna get rejected
over and over and over and over again
it’s just part of being an entrepreneur
and being a business the first thing you
put out won’t be very good people will
hate on it people give some constructive
criticism as well people will say no
because they don’t know you trust you
like you and so you won’t get those
first deals it takes a lot of time to
build up a business and make a
successful and even when you’ve gotten
to that point where you’re feeling happy
and you’re bringing on a team and
building the business you’re still gonna
get rejected constantly it’s just part
of life as an entrepreneur and so if you
can’t handle that it’s gonna be a really
hard road for you to be an entrepreneur
I think the way to get through ejection
there’s two ways to do it one is to use
rejection as fuel
kind of like what Jack Ma did like I got
rejected ten times by Harvard one day
I’m gonna go teach there right
one day I’m gonna go speak there so use
that as fuels like you turned me down
I’m gonna show you I’m gonna beat it I’m
gonna come back and be the teacher there
right you turn me down for this deal I’m
gonna go get a deal ten times as big
right so that’s one you can either you
can use rejection as fuel to help you go
off and do something bigger and in
motivation today I’m gonna prove them
wrong the second way is just to forget
about it just get used to it that’s more
what I do I don’t really use rejection
as fuel doesn’t really bother me when
somebody turns me down or when a new
series doesn’t work I was trying to
think when I was preparing for this
video what’s the recent rejection that I
have because there’s been so many but
none really stick out as being super
memorable the one that I came up with
was I tried a new series on the weekend
a while ago about the best of
Kickstarter and it was a new series that
I was testing of showing different
Kickstarter ideas that I thought might
be helpful for you and that video didn’t
do as well as I would have liked didn’t
do as well as other videos and we’ll
probably gonna kill that series but
that’s okay
like I’ve killed tons of series it
happens all the time on the channel and
I couldn’t even tell you all the series
that I’ve killed because they didn’t
perform you guys rejected them it’s okay
I just moved past it and so neither one
you have two strategies to go for use
the rejection as fuel to see I’m going
to show you
how wrong you are and prove it to them
or just forget about it get used to it
it’s gonna happen it’s just part of the
game and you move on I just think about
the next thing that you can go off and
build use either one of those strategies
but don’t get stuck in there rejection I
just worry about you guys so what you
were saying I feel like being afraid of
girls being in front of the camera being
scared in general all of those things
are just really the same thing it’s just
really being afraid of what people think
so I think why you can be such amazing
actors because when you were a teenager
in Philly he would go to the mall and he
would stand up on the chair like this
you say hey can I have your attention
everybody everybody my name is Will
sit back down
he stood at his chair but he was just
comfortable staying and doing anything
so we got the camera you were okay to
let that emotion go you know that was
like practice would be to break that
fear that’s how active circles are
pretty to just I had a party being
comfortable walking up saying hi and
in a little while later I wrote a book
called The Shining and it was my third
book and I got contractual rights to
write the first draft screenplay for
that and I did do that and I found out
later that Stanley Kubrick who had got
the rights through Warner Brothers had
already determined that he and a lady
named Diane Johnson were going to do the
screenplay for The Shining so they
basically my screenplay went in and they
said no this won’t do and then they went
on to what they really wanted to do
which was fine I wasn’t angry or upset
you you’re not after a while you get
thousands of rejection slips before you
break through you kind of get used to
that and it’s just part of the game but
the thing is you learn you learn little
by little so I’m interested in the
audition process is so tricky and it’s
you know rejection it’s hard at any age
but as a kid how did you you know
tolerate it I think it was a few times
that I thought I I booked it like for
sure and you didn’t and then like just
being a heartbroken and um you know
having my mom and my dad kind of pick up
the pieces and I think that that was the
you know the few times that they
actually you know started the question
themselves are we doing the right thing
by letting him do it and do this
and try to act and take on this this
profession that you know such a gamble
as a lottery you know such a lottery and
you just train yourself to like manage
your expectations for the most part when
it comes to auditions I used I know a
system that I started doing with like
after the audition after I left out I
would just throw my sides away you know
they really want me I’ll just print them
out again you know I’ll go out and I’ll
go through the hassle go to Kinko’s and
then I have a print of the timing and
print them on again and that was just my
way of training myself to just forget
about it when you leave you know it’s
nothing out of your hands you’d up
you’ve done all you can do worrying
about it it’s not gonna excuse me help
you get the job so um I mean it’s tough
you know when it has nothing to do with
you you know you something could be you
have the most talent in the world feel
as though you’re perfect for it and
still not get it because you know maybe
the other lead is a little too tall and
you
you guys don’t complement each other
well on screen that’s nothing to do
whatsoever and I’m just kind of wrapping
your head around the process and knowing
that it’s completely out of your hands
well it’s just easier for you to kind of
let go and move on to the next thing
hunter who’s 11 wants to know what kind
of advice can you give an 11 year old
like me who’s just starting who’s in the
second year in the industry and what
keeps you motivated with all the
rejection your 11 by the way I think
I’ll be getting advice off you in a
couple of years so you know I think as
well just have fun you know just have
fun with it you know it should be fun
and and unfortunately you know I think
you know rejection is just part and
parcel of it you know it’s a good thing
rejection because it does teach you how
to get that little bit stronger and just
know that well that was an experience
and you’ll just move on and you learn
from it and take things from those
moments you know and also you know the
fact you know they could be looking for
somebody with red hair or you know two
feet taller or and whatever happened to
them that day there’s so many things
that are out of your control I think
just concentrate on the scene what it’s
about
what you’re doing you know where are you
coming from where are you going what are
you trying to get in the scene all those
little things that are about the scene
that’ll take away the fear the nerves
concentrating okay where if I just come
from have I come from the store did I
buy an ice cream on the way to this
place before I arrived how does this
person in the room that I’m doing the
scene with make me feel what do I want
from them how do I go about getting what
I want from them all those things will
take away all the sort of nerves and the
fear and and then you just do your thing
and as long as you do your thing and
enjoy it then you’ve done your job
then they’ll be picking you for whatever
reasons though they will be or not and
but you’ve done your thing what makes
this book so interesting man is is your
story of trying to put it together which
is at least as powerful as the stories
in the book if not in some cases more
powerful so how did you deal with
rejection oh my god horribly you know
because pretty much the whole book at
some point feels like this long string
of me getting my ass beat
you know and dealing with that rejection
I realize is not only a part of the
entrepreneurial journey it is the
entrepreneurial journey so how you deal
with it is a lot more interesting than
how you got your win because everybody
will get their win in a different way
but how you deal with the rejection in
many ways as a universal act and what
I’ve learned is that I do two things one
when I’m getting beat up and doors are
just being slammed in my face over and
over and over again and I have nothing
left the only thing that keeps me
because I’ve thought about quitting you
know I’m a human being I’ve thought
about you know is this worth it the only
thing that would keep me going was that
larger belief that we talked about in
the beginning it’s not about me
there’ll be points on my journey where I
would be you know up by 4 a.m. sleeping
at midnight just pounding the pavement
and after you know getting rejected over
and over over again with that kind of
lifestyle you lose your spirit of what
started it and it was my best friends
that would save me and they would be
like dude tomorrow like I’m taking your
phone we’re going you know on an
adventure we’re go you know whatever it
was and in many ways that was like my
emotional reset which saved me over and
over and over again everything is
possible and nothing is guaranteed and
you start auditioning and you if you’re
lucky enough you have an agent and you
start auditioning and they send you
everything from period drama to casualty
to Dairy Milk commercials yep I went up
for a Dairy Milk commercial when I was a
boy and and you are thrown into the
business and thrown into it at the deep
end and there’s no time
for doubt or failure they accept
routinely that’s what happens to all of
us and I was so I perhaps was too
careful in auditioning and I would
always get close to to landing roles and
to booking jobs and I would never quite
get there and it’s it’s a I mean that
this is a universal experience for all
creative people certainly actors is that
the constant rejection at the beginning
and you have to get used to it and you
have to get thick-skinned about it and I
was she was so exhausted by I was I
trying to sort of because at first you
take it very personally and I thought
well no one’s like no one’s gonna know
what’s gonna help me get that the only
person who could do this is me and I
started preparing in a different way and
and I sort of stepped up to the plate a
little better I think because I could
feel time sliding away and and I wasn’t
getting on with life if I just was sort
of stuck in this rut of neither acting
nor doing anything else and the
experience of being in your twenties is
so energetic and I felt so stagnant
actually so I just kind of changed
everything up and and it worked now
we’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Amy Schumer on how to be resilient
that I think you’re gonna really enjoy
but before that it’s time for the three
point lighting questions time to move
from just watching another video to
actually taking action in your life or
your business so answer these three
questions number one what’s the biggest
rejection that you’re afraid of right
now number two how are you going to
prepare for it to reduce the chances of
it happening and number three if it does
do you remember what your first material
like what you’re when you first went up
on stage what was it like why are you
doing this me it was terrible I was 23 I
know what you’re saying like you should
have already known but I didn’t and I
went up and I was like skywriting that’s
stupid right it’s always fading if a guy
proposed to me that way I would be lying
Matt like there’s no way there’s no end
to this or you’re gonna laugh like this
is 11 years ago and and then about the
the New York City crosstown bus I wrote
a joke where it was like just that these
any time you feel it like kind of go
down when they like let the air out of
that front tire you know somebody
atrocious is about to get on like just
like some leg that they have to carry
look it was 11 years ago but that moment
when you’re being onstage and maybe it
didn’t go so well it’s still somehow it
made you want to do it again and again
why masochism I seriously any any person
as a comedian is a masochist and
delusional and yeah and I was definitely
know that you really think that’s true
a hundred percent someone’s like okay so
you’re gonna do this thing for the next
eight years and no one’s gonna tell you
you’re good and you’re not gonna be good
and you’re gonna have to live on the
road in hotel rooms making very little
money yeah and like it’ll just be it’s
constant rejection it’s not like an
audition it’s like every sentence out of
your mouth people are like no and you’re
like okay what about this sentence
it’s I’m in a great place right now but
being a stand-up is a hard-ass life and
it’s you think it’s gonna be fun you’re
like oh my god if I can just quit my my
bartending job like everyone just wants
to quit their day job for their dream
but then when you get there you’re like
oh this sucks too like I’m no happier
now than I was when I was waiting tables
I’m always pretty happy but it’s there’s
no I think we’re all just always the
same amount happy ways your standard
Apple at the core its core value is that
that people passion not one drop of my
self-worth depends on Europe it’s
something surreal if you want to take
things one step further and learn how to
deal with failure I think you’re gonna
really enjoy the reading right next to
me
go check it out continue to believe and
I’ll see you there without failure you have no success
rejection is everywhere rejection is
something that you need to take what’s
that belief nation it’s Evan this
channel is designed to be a part of your
daily success routine and help you
believe in your Michael Jordan level
talent so today let’s learn one of the
most common rules that successful people
follow how to handle rejection also if
you want to know what will smith myself
and others in social entrepreneurs have
to say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days i will send you a free
morning video on building your
confidence the link is in the
description below
I was excited about taking a shot the
fact that it was so strange surround
yourself with greatness if you want to
be more confident you need to surround
yourself with things that make you feel
confident
the best advice I could give is number
one be prepared for a lot of rejection
if you’re ready for rejection of people
say no I don’t want it no it’s not going
to work no this is crazy whatever if
you’re prepared for it it’s not going to
let you down
learn from your failures I had a lot of
failures along the way even with my
patron and Paul Mitchell but we learn
from those things then we get a lot
better
rejection is everywhere you know we all
deal with the me worst of all the worst
of all you know I think the idea of
rejection is relative I mean if you you
take a you know a kid in a small town
and somebody posts something negative
about them and all that their friends
laugh you know that’s the worst
rejection a human being can experience
it’s not you know for that kid it’s not
any less than for my kid to read it in a
comment page you know it’s it’s
emotionally it’s it’s the same my kids
grew up in this world so they’re much
more acclimated to the difficulties of
this world but it doesn’t make it
emotionally more difficult or more
painful than for any other child who has
to deal with it I was rejected but it
was the best rejection ever for me to
lead me in a different direction the
direction where I’m heading towards
right now and that was back in 2007 I
applied for a job at a Lancome counter
at a department store because I wanted
to I really wanted to work in the beauty
industry I wanted to be a makeup artist
and I wanted to empower women through
just the art of beauty and so I went in
they were looking for a sales associate
and I applied for the job I filled out
the application I did sit-down interview
I answered all the right questions I
mean they were very impressed with my
knowledge and my passion
and the last question she asked me was
was have you ever worked in sales and I
said no I you know I’m a waitress I used
you know I know how to host I know how
to make people feel good and I know how
to really understand and read the fine
lines and details of people prison you
know like when you’re waiting tables you
really have to see like what someone
wants without them needing to say
anything to you
so it wasn’t good enough for her though
because she said well unfortunately we
do need someone that has experience in
sales and I said but I can learn you
know like please give me a shot you know
like just give me a chance I’m willing
to learn and I know I can I know I can
sell beauty I mean I love it I’m
passionate about it
two weeks later I never got the call
back and I was really devastated because
you know it’s a projection it’s it’s
tough because I think we’re all
programmed to wanting to have like
positive reinforcement and you know we
we want positive reinforcement we want
people to say yes we always want yes I
mean know is such a a negative like we
feel like sometimes we think no is
something bad but sometimes we need
knows in our lives to kind of shift us
in a different direction you know I
always find that in life like the
universe there’s always three answers
when you want something it’s either yes
not yet or I have something better so in
this case in this case I I knew that I
knew that there was going to be
something better I didn’t take that
rejection
I didn’t just I didn’t drop my love for
Biddy in fact I opened another door for
myself and that was through YouTube my
webcam and I said you know what I may
not be able to have a job as a sales
associate at a department store or
selling makeup but at least I can still
fulfill my passion and beauty by filming
these tutorials and helping girls and
inspiring girls to try a new beauty
looks and that’s what I did and two
years later lancome calls me and they
wanted me to become their official
online spokesperson I realized you know
how do I’ve gone back in time and and
told myself hey you know what this
rejection is something that you need to
take and you you know it’s not a bad
thing
I think like you know that was like the
best thing that ever happened to me was
that rejection so I absolutely agree
with you Andrea like sometimes rejection
is a blessing in disguise
rejection is part of life as an
entrepreneur you were gonna get rejected
over and over and over and over again
it’s just part of being an entrepreneur
and being a business the first thing you
put out won’t be very good people will
hate on it people give some constructive
criticism as well people will say no
because they don’t know you trust you
like you and so you won’t get those
first deals it takes a lot of time to
build up a business and make a
successful and even when you’ve gotten
to that point where you’re feeling happy
and you’re bringing on a team and
building the business you’re still gonna
get rejected constantly it’s just part
of life as an entrepreneur and so if you
can’t handle that it’s gonna be a really
hard road for you to be an entrepreneur
I think the way to get through ejection
there’s two ways to do it one is to use
rejection as fuel
kind of like what Jack Ma did like I got
rejected ten times by Harvard one day
I’m gonna go teach there right
one day I’m gonna go speak there so use
that as fuels like you turned me down
I’m gonna show you I’m gonna beat it I’m
gonna come back and be the teacher there
right you turn me down for this deal I’m
gonna go get a deal ten times as big
right so that’s one you can either you
can use rejection as fuel to help you go
off and do something bigger and in
motivation today I’m gonna prove them
wrong the second way is just to forget
about it just get used to it that’s more
what I do I don’t really use rejection
as fuel doesn’t really bother me when
somebody turns me down or when a new
series doesn’t work I was trying to
think when I was preparing for this
video what’s the recent rejection that I
have because there’s been so many but
none really stick out as being super
memorable the one that I came up with
was I tried a new series on the weekend
a while ago about the best of
Kickstarter and it was a new series that
I was testing of showing different
Kickstarter ideas that I thought might
be helpful for you and that video didn’t
do as well as I would have liked didn’t
do as well as other videos and we’ll
probably gonna kill that series but
that’s okay
like I’ve killed tons of series it
happens all the time on the channel and
I couldn’t even tell you all the series
that I’ve killed because they didn’t
perform you guys rejected them it’s okay
I just moved past it and so neither one
you have two strategies to go for use
the rejection as fuel to see I’m going
to show you
how wrong you are and prove it to them
or just forget about it get used to it
it’s gonna happen it’s just part of the
game and you move on I just think about
the next thing that you can go off and
build use either one of those strategies
but don’t get stuck in there rejection I
just worry about you guys so what you
were saying I feel like being afraid of
girls being in front of the camera being
scared in general all of those things
are just really the same thing it’s just
really being afraid of what people think
so I think why you can be such amazing
actors because when you were a teenager
in Philly he would go to the mall and he
would stand up on the chair like this
you say hey can I have your attention
everybody everybody my name is Will
sit back down
he stood at his chair but he was just
comfortable staying and doing anything
so we got the camera you were okay to
let that emotion go you know that was
like practice would be to break that
fear that’s how active circles are
pretty to just I had a party being
comfortable walking up saying hi and
in a little while later I wrote a book
called The Shining and it was my third
book and I got contractual rights to
write the first draft screenplay for
that and I did do that and I found out
later that Stanley Kubrick who had got
the rights through Warner Brothers had
already determined that he and a lady
named Diane Johnson were going to do the
screenplay for The Shining so they
basically my screenplay went in and they
said no this won’t do and then they went
on to what they really wanted to do
which was fine I wasn’t angry or upset
you you’re not after a while you get
thousands of rejection slips before you
break through you kind of get used to
that and it’s just part of the game but
the thing is you learn you learn little
by little so I’m interested in the
audition process is so tricky and it’s
you know rejection it’s hard at any age
but as a kid how did you you know
tolerate it I think it was a few times
that I thought I I booked it like for
sure and you didn’t and then like just
being a heartbroken and um you know
having my mom and my dad kind of pick up
the pieces and I think that that was the
you know the few times that they
actually you know started the question
themselves are we doing the right thing
by letting him do it and do this
and try to act and take on this this
profession that you know such a gamble
as a lottery you know such a lottery and
you just train yourself to like manage
your expectations for the most part when
it comes to auditions I used I know a
system that I started doing with like
after the audition after I left out I
would just throw my sides away you know
they really want me I’ll just print them
out again you know I’ll go out and I’ll
go through the hassle go to Kinko’s and
then I have a print of the timing and
print them on again and that was just my
way of training myself to just forget
about it when you leave you know it’s
nothing out of your hands you’d up
you’ve done all you can do worrying
about it it’s not gonna excuse me help
you get the job so um I mean it’s tough
you know when it has nothing to do with
you you know you something could be you
have the most talent in the world feel
as though you’re perfect for it and
still not get it because you know maybe
the other lead is a little too tall and
you
you guys don’t complement each other
well on screen that’s nothing to do
whatsoever and I’m just kind of wrapping
your head around the process and knowing
that it’s completely out of your hands
well it’s just easier for you to kind of
let go and move on to the next thing
hunter who’s 11 wants to know what kind
of advice can you give an 11 year old
like me who’s just starting who’s in the
second year in the industry and what
keeps you motivated with all the
rejection your 11 by the way I think
I’ll be getting advice off you in a
couple of years so you know I think as
well just have fun you know just have
fun with it you know it should be fun
and and unfortunately you know I think
you know rejection is just part and
parcel of it you know it’s a good thing
rejection because it does teach you how
to get that little bit stronger and just
know that well that was an experience
and you’ll just move on and you learn
from it and take things from those
moments you know and also you know the
fact you know they could be looking for
somebody with red hair or you know two
feet taller or and whatever happened to
them that day there’s so many things
that are out of your control I think
just concentrate on the scene what it’s
about
what you’re doing you know where are you
coming from where are you going what are
you trying to get in the scene all those
little things that are about the scene
that’ll take away the fear the nerves
concentrating okay where if I just come
from have I come from the store did I
buy an ice cream on the way to this
place before I arrived how does this
person in the room that I’m doing the
scene with make me feel what do I want
from them how do I go about getting what
I want from them all those things will
take away all the sort of nerves and the
fear and and then you just do your thing
and as long as you do your thing and
enjoy it then you’ve done your job
then they’ll be picking you for whatever
reasons though they will be or not and
but you’ve done your thing what makes
this book so interesting man is is your
story of trying to put it together which
is at least as powerful as the stories
in the book if not in some cases more
powerful so how did you deal with
rejection oh my god horribly you know
because pretty much the whole book at
some point feels like this long string
of me getting my ass beat
you know and dealing with that rejection
I realize is not only a part of the
entrepreneurial journey it is the
entrepreneurial journey so how you deal
with it is a lot more interesting than
how you got your win because everybody
will get their win in a different way
but how you deal with the rejection in
many ways as a universal act and what
I’ve learned is that I do two things one
when I’m getting beat up and doors are
just being slammed in my face over and
over and over again and I have nothing
left the only thing that keeps me
because I’ve thought about quitting you
know I’m a human being I’ve thought
about you know is this worth it the only
thing that would keep me going was that
larger belief that we talked about in
the beginning it’s not about me
there’ll be points on my journey where I
would be you know up by 4 a.m. sleeping
at midnight just pounding the pavement
and after you know getting rejected over
and over over again with that kind of
lifestyle you lose your spirit of what
started it and it was my best friends
that would save me and they would be
like dude tomorrow like I’m taking your
phone we’re going you know on an
adventure we’re go you know whatever it
was and in many ways that was like my
emotional reset which saved me over and
over and over again everything is
possible and nothing is guaranteed and
you start auditioning and you if you’re
lucky enough you have an agent and you
start auditioning and they send you
everything from period drama to casualty
to Dairy Milk commercials yep I went up
for a Dairy Milk commercial when I was a
boy and and you are thrown into the
business and thrown into it at the deep
end and there’s no time
for doubt or failure they accept
routinely that’s what happens to all of
us and I was so I perhaps was too
careful in auditioning and I would
always get close to to landing roles and
to booking jobs and I would never quite
get there and it’s it’s a I mean that
this is a universal experience for all
creative people certainly actors is that
the constant rejection at the beginning
and you have to get used to it and you
have to get thick-skinned about it and I
was she was so exhausted by I was I
trying to sort of because at first you
take it very personally and I thought
well no one’s like no one’s gonna know
what’s gonna help me get that the only
person who could do this is me and I
started preparing in a different way and
and I sort of stepped up to the plate a
little better I think because I could
feel time sliding away and and I wasn’t
getting on with life if I just was sort
of stuck in this rut of neither acting
nor doing anything else and the
experience of being in your twenties is
so energetic and I felt so stagnant
actually so I just kind of changed
everything up and and it worked now
we’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Amy Schumer on how to be resilient
that I think you’re gonna really enjoy
but before that it’s time for the three
point lighting questions time to move
from just watching another video to
actually taking action in your life or
your business so answer these three
questions number one what’s the biggest
rejection that you’re afraid of right
now number two how are you going to
prepare for it to reduce the chances of
it happening and number three if it does
do you remember what your first material
like what you’re when you first went up
on stage what was it like why are you
doing this me it was terrible I was 23 I
know what you’re saying like you should
have already known but I didn’t and I
went up and I was like skywriting that’s
stupid right it’s always fading if a guy
proposed to me that way I would be lying
Matt like there’s no way there’s no end
to this or you’re gonna laugh like this
is 11 years ago and and then about the
the New York City crosstown bus I wrote
a joke where it was like just that these
any time you feel it like kind of go
down when they like let the air out of
that front tire you know somebody
atrocious is about to get on like just
like some leg that they have to carry
look it was 11 years ago but that moment
when you’re being onstage and maybe it
didn’t go so well it’s still somehow it
made you want to do it again and again
why masochism I seriously any any person
as a comedian is a masochist and
delusional and yeah and I was definitely
know that you really think that’s true
a hundred percent someone’s like okay so
you’re gonna do this thing for the next
eight years and no one’s gonna tell you
you’re good and you’re not gonna be good
and you’re gonna have to live on the
road in hotel rooms making very little
money yeah and like it’ll just be it’s
constant rejection it’s not like an
audition it’s like every sentence out of
your mouth people are like no and you’re
like okay what about this sentence
it’s I’m in a great place right now but
being a stand-up is a hard-ass life and
it’s you think it’s gonna be fun you’re
like oh my god if I can just quit my my
bartending job like everyone just wants
to quit their day job for their dream
but then when you get there you’re like
oh this sucks too like I’m no happier
now than I was when I was waiting tables
I’m always pretty happy but it’s there’s
no I think we’re all just always the
same amount happy ways your standard
Apple at the core its core value is that
that people passion not one drop of my
self-worth depends on Europe it’s
something surreal if you want to take
things one step further and learn how to
deal with failure I think you’re gonna
really enjoy the reading right next to
me
go check it out continue to believe and
I’ll see you there without failure you have no success
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