if you don’t stand up for something in
this industry you will fall for
everything and you will not be
compensated on the way down and if you
believe you know every negative thing
about you you’re not going to get out of
that one bad thing does not define who I
am I am so much more than a failed TV
show she began her career in the 1990s
appearing on television sitcoms
her breakthrough role was in a teen
comedy film bring it on she stars as the
lead character in the drama series being
Mary Jane she’s Gabrielle Union and here
is my take on her top ten rules of
success rule number one is my personal
favorite and I’d love to know which one
you guys like the best and as always as
you’re watching if you hear something
that really resonates with you please
leave it in the comments below put
quotes around it so other people can be
inspired as well and when you write it
down it’s much more likely to stick with
you as well
enjoy
so then I go to the essence Awards the
day after the event that you had or
we’ve all been to the essence awards and
you spoke and as you started to speak
you were getting the fierce and fearless
award and obviously you had given that a
lot of thought and as you started to
speak my own mouth dropped and then it
got wider and wider and by the time you
finish we’re all like whoa what was that
we live in a town that rewards
pretending and I had been pretending to
be fierce and fearless for a very long
time I was a victim masquerading as a
survivor I used to revel in gossip and
rumors and the and I and I lived for the
negativity and flicked ‘add upon my
sister actresses or anyone who I fell
who shine diminished my own fortunate
enough to be honored at the the essence
awards luncheon for the fierce and
fearless award and I was talking to my
girlfriend AJ Johnson with my trainer
but she’s also like a life coach and I
was like you know do I tell it I mean if
I’m getting an award for being fierce
and fearless
– how about I really be fierce and
Phyllis and explain to people my my
evolution I love Who I am today but that
wasn’t always the case
I didn’t love you know my features I
didn’t love my weight I didn’t love my
hair I didn’t love my lips and it’s been
an evolution and I didn’t and I wasn’t
always nice or as gracious as I could
have been or happy for other people and
to sort of explain that journey through
my speech it had been such a long
journey to get to that point and I
started doing the you know the work on
myself and and and really wanting to be
the woman I always sort of had dreamed
I want it to be but when I got divorced
and I had a career setback I hit
basically rock bottom and I have reached
out to AJ Johnson and we started doing
the work and being honest and really
really looking at myself and my life and
my total AJ Johnson was a coach is my
yeah like if she was a physical trainer
but also like a life coach and and she
was like what’s really what you ready
y’all think you’re ready I don’t really
think you’re ready to really look at
your life in your choices I think you
you like how you live I think you think
it’s cute I think you think you know I
make a living doing this I make a lot of
money doing this so why should I change
and I was like true and so I had to
really examine all the choices I’ve made
as an adult and what I like and what I
don’t like and there was a lot I didn’t
like so from that point on in like my
early 30s I started really living my
truth and my words matched my actions so
when I was putting together a speech
about fierce and fearless I was like a.j
do I tell it do I really tell people
what this journey has been because you
know people they see you want a red
carpet they see in a picture in an
interview and they’re like oh she must
be you know their protector will have
their perceptions of what they think
your life is like absolutely and it’s
been the absolute opposite you know
going through you know going from sexual
assault victim to rape survivor going
through a divorce go having career
setbacks re-examining why you even are
in this business Who am I who do I want
to be to the world that’s what we were
like let’s just tell it yeah let the
chips fall where they may and I never
thought like being honest would have
that kind of reaction yeah you know you
had some issues when coming back up for
this new season of being Mary Jane and
as a woman as an actress as a director
can we talk about equal pay because I
know I had something to do with equal
pay I don’t know the the details when it
came to your Bible would be et and
everything that happened well it
actually didn’t it was which was
interesting that but I was I’m happy to
tackle you know yeah these gender equity
when it comes to my financial statements
we’re doing the same amount of work and
if if my star and your star is that the
sits in the same place and I bring to
the table exact same thing you bring to
the table
we should be paid the exact same right
it’s not like I’m I’m only on a couple
episodes or I’m only working 15 minutes
and you’re you know they’re there every
day all day that’s you know that’s
something different but we’re doing the
same job and we’re bringing the same
thing to the table give me my money give
me the same thing that you’re giving him
and I will go
I would rather you know use all of my
money towards last shoots for pay equity
but at the end of the day if you don’t
stand up for something in this industry
you will love for everything and you
will not be compensated on the way down
so that is my that is my overall message
if there’s something that you find that
is an equitable unfair it’s up to you no
one’s going to fight your battles if
they can save money not paying you oh
they will they will so you have to be
your biggest your own biggest and best
Adam arable and speaking of fighting so
you know for what you believe Israel how
many times coming up in your career did
it backfire on you did you decide to put
your foot down ever like right and we
don’t need you
mm-hmm never cuz I sometimes believe
that a lot of women get scared you know
and a lot of us get ya erred either
there are there were times I just didn’t
do it well that’s different than doing
it and it’s in it blowing up in my face
but um never have never ever have I
opened my mouth to speak out against
some kind of injustice at work whether
that be something sex is somebody
something racist something misogynistic
something just just flat-out wack or
unfair where it ever came back
negatively on me and affected my
opportunities if anything people have
more respect for me and like having me
around because they’d rather me speak up
than the men half the time and I don’t I
don’t ever shy away from that how do you
deal with feedback criticism positive or
negative um you take it all with a grain
of salt I mean early in my career I was
named the next it girl and you’re like
no you know I think we should you know I
should really believe this you know and
then you read you’re the worst thing
ever you should never leave the house
you know like that we should throw that
out and eventually you just kind of get
to a place where they kind of cancel
each other out you’re going to hear the
naysayers and people who think you suck
and they’re going to view the people who
think you’re the second coming of you
know pockets but like it’s usually
somewhere in the middle
if you believe all your your your praise
there’s nowhere to go
they’re not going to grow and if you
believe you know every negative thing
about you you’re not going to get out of
bed so I try to be reasonable people
whose opinion I respect I listen like
when Regina King she directs four
episodes this season of being Mary Jane
and she’s she’s a good friend but she
said she never let me slide you know we
shoot a lot we shoot almost 10 pages a
day which is sort of unheard of in
television and you can get a little lazy
to be honest and she would never let me
be lazy she’d be like gee come on now
come on now so it’s nice to have people
who will call you on your shit and
communication the internet my throat oh
if my lips to be sweaty I can say sure
so who will call you ownership and and
make you accountable and make you better
and that’s huge if I could leave you
with anything is you have to value
yourself and it sounds super cliche and
everybody says it and if you don’t value
yourself you don’t love yourselves I’m
not going to love you but seriously like
I just realized that at you know it I
got divorced my show got canceled that
all these terrible things happen and I
hit rock bottom and what I realize is
I’m an educated amazing vibrant relevant
person one bad thing does not define who
I am I am so much more than a failed TV
show or a failed marriage or what the
blogs say I’m so much more than that
the most significant skill set or
characteristic you develop as an athlete
that has enabled you to be successful in
your career leadership
absolutely there’s something about being
able to direct the action on the court
that informs your personality I took
away different skills just from working
with a group of women leaving a group of
women trying to form an identity for our
team and that identity above everything
else would be your own leader resilience
and stick together and my platform is
learning to love yourself so could you
tell me a little about any insecurities
you may have had and how you learn to
overcome them tell you insecurities I
didn’t have everything I mean growing up
as the darkest girl in my family growing
up super thin
you’re not having secondary sexual
characteristics come in until much later
being the only black girl in all white
communities I mean I could go on and on
and on like literally feeling like I
shrink when a beautiful woman walks in
all of that you know you it’s been a
journey and you have to make a
commitment to to wanting better than
functioning and dysfunction I want to so
what is my work
[Music]
but along with being Michigan cookies a
very young age came daylight from
America would be a lot more appearances
from an alligator you wouldn’t have to
be bigger better just what it does to
develop see all title is to say that you
are always going to not be gluttonous
three schools I’m trying to do this my
lips are big words the Monday she like
as make sure that I always thought those
just our favorite comment which subway
if you ever say that with indulgence
actually another I wanted to make sure
in my hair with some loose weight I used
to be relaxing on my hair so long
imitations
they ever wanted to sit in I wanted to
be good enough and one big joke I did
one day loser be kind of guy not return
my love it was because I’m not good
enough because on a joke on that when I
got raped by nineteen I have a full job
so was it just sounds awful coincidence
some terrible freak accident wasn’t an
unspeakable crime it was because I was
jailed under this what happened when I
got to work
which are through the course Shelley
accountants a really good course and all
I pay in August I started doing the work
that you’ve gotta replace that as voice
in your head that tell me you’re joking
are you guys not being crippled by a
fear of possible humiliation other ways
that possibly you had that don’t really
understand my writing right don’t put
that on for too big so we reach our
lifetime so only not really my closet
working and so time I can’t do it
no one’s going to love me why do I pay
me for please five and then how’d it so
cliche so easy and as a I decided to
stop telling my health I religion
earlier that I was don’t and fly what
sports taught me is how to work within a
group and how to find strength in a team
same with you know after-school
activities you know I was in the Spanish
club
I believe me I was like yeah
yeah if it helped to have strengths and
numbers and know how to function within
a group because in life you’re not an
island you’re not by yourself even
though sometimes it feels like it you
need to know how to work within a group
and how to pull different you know your
positive attributes your positive
attributes so we can you know be a
strong unit but when you are looking to
define other people in life that will
help you be successful and keep you on
the right path
it’s that team mentality of okay you’re
better at this than I am
you’re better at you know my girl dawn
she’s she’s a marketing guru so we all
go to dawn you know when we need help in
terms of how best to market ourselves
whether there’s a lot of us are
unemployed a lot of my friends lost
their jobs so we’re like how do we how
do we go to dawn to help her help us you
know utilizing her skills that can
enable us to become better people you
might not think I’m gonna be much
but I’m happy but on my most authentic
when nobody’s looking
lilies judging kamikazes exist in that
quiet space I realized I am worthy by
earth right I am fierce and fabulous
because I breathe all of us fear and
improvement we are worthy we compounded
our journey are real and worthwhile and
there’s nothing anyone can do to take
away one everything so what happened was
we have a choice and we want to remember
a lot of money or actually reacting to
is the fear of humiliation a fear of a
beautiful possible judgment in flash
people will judge you whether you come
here for cancer or Isabella how much –
always
so I am aways but they’re not define me
I am an actress and I should help about
the timing
I don’t errant one of them got a nominal
life none of those things are going to a
lot of praise that maybe would be I am
worthy I
I am Gabrielle Union late
[Music]
oh good morning Saugerties hi hope
you’re having a super-duper day so far
this is principal Davidson and I’m vice
principal cook and s time for the
morning announcements attention staff
mark the field trip to the Natural
History Museum is this Friday and the
only student who hasn’t paid yet
surprise surprise is Mitchell Henderson
so Friday we love it all right there
come on oh come on oh oh yeah I wait
from you get out of this okay
if that son does not defeat well that’s
my that’s my favorite song by Rehana yes
you guys expect and lastly here we come
down the homestretch of the inalco
Gideon idiot it has come to our
attention that some students have been
playing hooky and skipping class and I
just I just want to remind those
students that we don’t take these
actions lightly in fact
it’s just yet then I’ll go quick like if
you give dance then I’ll go Craig right
house
Oh what thing what me oh I will play
with a friend
yeah yeah have a great day knocking hi
[Applause]
thank you guys so much for watching I
made this video because Neil asked me to
also if you want to nominate someone for
the next top 10 video please check the
description for a link to video where
you can vote for people and put in your
suggestions as well I’d love to know
what did you take from this video what
was the most important lesson that you
learned that blew your mind that you’re
going to immediately apply to your life
or your business somehow please leave it
down the comments below I’m super
curious to find out I also want to give
a quick shout out to Jane Cassell Jane
thank you so much for picking up a copy
of my book your one word and taking that
picture and posting it on LinkedIn
I really really appreciate the support I
hope you’re enjoying the read and the
wine as well so thank you guys again for
watching I believe in you I hope you
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love I’ll
see you soon
this industry you will fall for
everything and you will not be
compensated on the way down and if you
believe you know every negative thing
about you you’re not going to get out of
that one bad thing does not define who I
am I am so much more than a failed TV
show she began her career in the 1990s
appearing on television sitcoms
her breakthrough role was in a teen
comedy film bring it on she stars as the
lead character in the drama series being
Mary Jane she’s Gabrielle Union and here
is my take on her top ten rules of
success rule number one is my personal
favorite and I’d love to know which one
you guys like the best and as always as
you’re watching if you hear something
that really resonates with you please
leave it in the comments below put
quotes around it so other people can be
inspired as well and when you write it
down it’s much more likely to stick with
you as well
enjoy
so then I go to the essence Awards the
day after the event that you had or
we’ve all been to the essence awards and
you spoke and as you started to speak
you were getting the fierce and fearless
award and obviously you had given that a
lot of thought and as you started to
speak my own mouth dropped and then it
got wider and wider and by the time you
finish we’re all like whoa what was that
we live in a town that rewards
pretending and I had been pretending to
be fierce and fearless for a very long
time I was a victim masquerading as a
survivor I used to revel in gossip and
rumors and the and I and I lived for the
negativity and flicked ‘add upon my
sister actresses or anyone who I fell
who shine diminished my own fortunate
enough to be honored at the the essence
awards luncheon for the fierce and
fearless award and I was talking to my
girlfriend AJ Johnson with my trainer
but she’s also like a life coach and I
was like you know do I tell it I mean if
I’m getting an award for being fierce
and fearless
– how about I really be fierce and
Phyllis and explain to people my my
evolution I love Who I am today but that
wasn’t always the case
I didn’t love you know my features I
didn’t love my weight I didn’t love my
hair I didn’t love my lips and it’s been
an evolution and I didn’t and I wasn’t
always nice or as gracious as I could
have been or happy for other people and
to sort of explain that journey through
my speech it had been such a long
journey to get to that point and I
started doing the you know the work on
myself and and and really wanting to be
the woman I always sort of had dreamed
I want it to be but when I got divorced
and I had a career setback I hit
basically rock bottom and I have reached
out to AJ Johnson and we started doing
the work and being honest and really
really looking at myself and my life and
my total AJ Johnson was a coach is my
yeah like if she was a physical trainer
but also like a life coach and and she
was like what’s really what you ready
y’all think you’re ready I don’t really
think you’re ready to really look at
your life in your choices I think you
you like how you live I think you think
it’s cute I think you think you know I
make a living doing this I make a lot of
money doing this so why should I change
and I was like true and so I had to
really examine all the choices I’ve made
as an adult and what I like and what I
don’t like and there was a lot I didn’t
like so from that point on in like my
early 30s I started really living my
truth and my words matched my actions so
when I was putting together a speech
about fierce and fearless I was like a.j
do I tell it do I really tell people
what this journey has been because you
know people they see you want a red
carpet they see in a picture in an
interview and they’re like oh she must
be you know their protector will have
their perceptions of what they think
your life is like absolutely and it’s
been the absolute opposite you know
going through you know going from sexual
assault victim to rape survivor going
through a divorce go having career
setbacks re-examining why you even are
in this business Who am I who do I want
to be to the world that’s what we were
like let’s just tell it yeah let the
chips fall where they may and I never
thought like being honest would have
that kind of reaction yeah you know you
had some issues when coming back up for
this new season of being Mary Jane and
as a woman as an actress as a director
can we talk about equal pay because I
know I had something to do with equal
pay I don’t know the the details when it
came to your Bible would be et and
everything that happened well it
actually didn’t it was which was
interesting that but I was I’m happy to
tackle you know yeah these gender equity
when it comes to my financial statements
we’re doing the same amount of work and
if if my star and your star is that the
sits in the same place and I bring to
the table exact same thing you bring to
the table
we should be paid the exact same right
it’s not like I’m I’m only on a couple
episodes or I’m only working 15 minutes
and you’re you know they’re there every
day all day that’s you know that’s
something different but we’re doing the
same job and we’re bringing the same
thing to the table give me my money give
me the same thing that you’re giving him
and I will go
I would rather you know use all of my
money towards last shoots for pay equity
but at the end of the day if you don’t
stand up for something in this industry
you will love for everything and you
will not be compensated on the way down
so that is my that is my overall message
if there’s something that you find that
is an equitable unfair it’s up to you no
one’s going to fight your battles if
they can save money not paying you oh
they will they will so you have to be
your biggest your own biggest and best
Adam arable and speaking of fighting so
you know for what you believe Israel how
many times coming up in your career did
it backfire on you did you decide to put
your foot down ever like right and we
don’t need you
mm-hmm never cuz I sometimes believe
that a lot of women get scared you know
and a lot of us get ya erred either
there are there were times I just didn’t
do it well that’s different than doing
it and it’s in it blowing up in my face
but um never have never ever have I
opened my mouth to speak out against
some kind of injustice at work whether
that be something sex is somebody
something racist something misogynistic
something just just flat-out wack or
unfair where it ever came back
negatively on me and affected my
opportunities if anything people have
more respect for me and like having me
around because they’d rather me speak up
than the men half the time and I don’t I
don’t ever shy away from that how do you
deal with feedback criticism positive or
negative um you take it all with a grain
of salt I mean early in my career I was
named the next it girl and you’re like
no you know I think we should you know I
should really believe this you know and
then you read you’re the worst thing
ever you should never leave the house
you know like that we should throw that
out and eventually you just kind of get
to a place where they kind of cancel
each other out you’re going to hear the
naysayers and people who think you suck
and they’re going to view the people who
think you’re the second coming of you
know pockets but like it’s usually
somewhere in the middle
if you believe all your your your praise
there’s nowhere to go
they’re not going to grow and if you
believe you know every negative thing
about you you’re not going to get out of
bed so I try to be reasonable people
whose opinion I respect I listen like
when Regina King she directs four
episodes this season of being Mary Jane
and she’s she’s a good friend but she
said she never let me slide you know we
shoot a lot we shoot almost 10 pages a
day which is sort of unheard of in
television and you can get a little lazy
to be honest and she would never let me
be lazy she’d be like gee come on now
come on now so it’s nice to have people
who will call you on your shit and
communication the internet my throat oh
if my lips to be sweaty I can say sure
so who will call you ownership and and
make you accountable and make you better
and that’s huge if I could leave you
with anything is you have to value
yourself and it sounds super cliche and
everybody says it and if you don’t value
yourself you don’t love yourselves I’m
not going to love you but seriously like
I just realized that at you know it I
got divorced my show got canceled that
all these terrible things happen and I
hit rock bottom and what I realize is
I’m an educated amazing vibrant relevant
person one bad thing does not define who
I am I am so much more than a failed TV
show or a failed marriage or what the
blogs say I’m so much more than that
the most significant skill set or
characteristic you develop as an athlete
that has enabled you to be successful in
your career leadership
absolutely there’s something about being
able to direct the action on the court
that informs your personality I took
away different skills just from working
with a group of women leaving a group of
women trying to form an identity for our
team and that identity above everything
else would be your own leader resilience
and stick together and my platform is
learning to love yourself so could you
tell me a little about any insecurities
you may have had and how you learn to
overcome them tell you insecurities I
didn’t have everything I mean growing up
as the darkest girl in my family growing
up super thin
you’re not having secondary sexual
characteristics come in until much later
being the only black girl in all white
communities I mean I could go on and on
and on like literally feeling like I
shrink when a beautiful woman walks in
all of that you know you it’s been a
journey and you have to make a
commitment to to wanting better than
functioning and dysfunction I want to so
what is my work
[Music]
but along with being Michigan cookies a
very young age came daylight from
America would be a lot more appearances
from an alligator you wouldn’t have to
be bigger better just what it does to
develop see all title is to say that you
are always going to not be gluttonous
three schools I’m trying to do this my
lips are big words the Monday she like
as make sure that I always thought those
just our favorite comment which subway
if you ever say that with indulgence
actually another I wanted to make sure
in my hair with some loose weight I used
to be relaxing on my hair so long
imitations
they ever wanted to sit in I wanted to
be good enough and one big joke I did
one day loser be kind of guy not return
my love it was because I’m not good
enough because on a joke on that when I
got raped by nineteen I have a full job
so was it just sounds awful coincidence
some terrible freak accident wasn’t an
unspeakable crime it was because I was
jailed under this what happened when I
got to work
which are through the course Shelley
accountants a really good course and all
I pay in August I started doing the work
that you’ve gotta replace that as voice
in your head that tell me you’re joking
are you guys not being crippled by a
fear of possible humiliation other ways
that possibly you had that don’t really
understand my writing right don’t put
that on for too big so we reach our
lifetime so only not really my closet
working and so time I can’t do it
no one’s going to love me why do I pay
me for please five and then how’d it so
cliche so easy and as a I decided to
stop telling my health I religion
earlier that I was don’t and fly what
sports taught me is how to work within a
group and how to find strength in a team
same with you know after-school
activities you know I was in the Spanish
club
I believe me I was like yeah
yeah if it helped to have strengths and
numbers and know how to function within
a group because in life you’re not an
island you’re not by yourself even
though sometimes it feels like it you
need to know how to work within a group
and how to pull different you know your
positive attributes your positive
attributes so we can you know be a
strong unit but when you are looking to
define other people in life that will
help you be successful and keep you on
the right path
it’s that team mentality of okay you’re
better at this than I am
you’re better at you know my girl dawn
she’s she’s a marketing guru so we all
go to dawn you know when we need help in
terms of how best to market ourselves
whether there’s a lot of us are
unemployed a lot of my friends lost
their jobs so we’re like how do we how
do we go to dawn to help her help us you
know utilizing her skills that can
enable us to become better people you
might not think I’m gonna be much
but I’m happy but on my most authentic
when nobody’s looking
lilies judging kamikazes exist in that
quiet space I realized I am worthy by
earth right I am fierce and fabulous
because I breathe all of us fear and
improvement we are worthy we compounded
our journey are real and worthwhile and
there’s nothing anyone can do to take
away one everything so what happened was
we have a choice and we want to remember
a lot of money or actually reacting to
is the fear of humiliation a fear of a
beautiful possible judgment in flash
people will judge you whether you come
here for cancer or Isabella how much –
always
so I am aways but they’re not define me
I am an actress and I should help about
the timing
I don’t errant one of them got a nominal
life none of those things are going to a
lot of praise that maybe would be I am
worthy I
I am Gabrielle Union late
[Music]
oh good morning Saugerties hi hope
you’re having a super-duper day so far
this is principal Davidson and I’m vice
principal cook and s time for the
morning announcements attention staff
mark the field trip to the Natural
History Museum is this Friday and the
only student who hasn’t paid yet
surprise surprise is Mitchell Henderson
so Friday we love it all right there
come on oh come on oh oh yeah I wait
from you get out of this okay
if that son does not defeat well that’s
my that’s my favorite song by Rehana yes
you guys expect and lastly here we come
down the homestretch of the inalco
Gideon idiot it has come to our
attention that some students have been
playing hooky and skipping class and I
just I just want to remind those
students that we don’t take these
actions lightly in fact
it’s just yet then I’ll go quick like if
you give dance then I’ll go Craig right
house
Oh what thing what me oh I will play
with a friend
yeah yeah have a great day knocking hi
[Applause]
thank you guys so much for watching I
made this video because Neil asked me to
also if you want to nominate someone for
the next top 10 video please check the
description for a link to video where
you can vote for people and put in your
suggestions as well I’d love to know
what did you take from this video what
was the most important lesson that you
learned that blew your mind that you’re
going to immediately apply to your life
or your business somehow please leave it
down the comments below I’m super
curious to find out I also want to give
a quick shout out to Jane Cassell Jane
thank you so much for picking up a copy
of my book your one word and taking that
picture and posting it on LinkedIn
I really really appreciate the support I
hope you’re enjoying the read and the
wine as well so thank you guys again for
watching I believe in you I hope you
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love I’ll
see you soon
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