it’s hard to be very empathetic and have
a strong connection if you don’t see and
hear someone for a long period of time
and people default to using their
devices don’t accept what you see with
your eyes look for something deeper we
underestimate how artificial it is to
have a constant companion you’re doing
this because you I want to feel accepted
but by doing this all the time you’re
actually feeling less connected and less
accepted you’re absorbing too much
information on our phone actually we’re
thinking about ourselves getting outside
of yourself and finding other people
more interesting than your selling news
technology is a bridge demon an
interaction don’t let it be a barrier to
the very relationships that you need to
so people tap their phones over 2600
times a day they look at their phones
every 12 minutes leaping with the phones
which isn’t healthy and so I think this
sort of low-grade hum of anxiety there’s
so many people feel today is actually
lack of solitude but every time you have
a down moment you’re looking at social
media you don’t get the downtime that
your brain is just to do all the things
that’s it expects to have time to do but
it’s actually an insecurity of this a
self-doubt when you’re trying to please
people and maybe you go a little extra
hard
if you go back to the the beginning of
the key iPhone in 2007 there was nothing
about this tack that meant for you to
look at it all the time
right Steve Jobs was a minimalist his
whole thing was I want to take something
that’s really important to you and I
want to make the experience beautiful
that was smartphones it was this
beautiful tool that you brought out
occasionally to do specific things yet I
find especially with people my age
everyone is not only looking for
validation they are afraid they have to
fear to leave a relationship because
they don’t want to be lonely they have
fear of being judged so they just stay
we’re watching the same world the same
reality but we experience it differently
so you have an attitude that colors what
you see and some people have an attitude
that tends towards the negative you you
have certain beliefs certain ideas about
life and you’re not willing to change
them and so you want an attitude that’s
expansive where you accept people you’re
not always judging them you’re not
negative about them you understand that
people that can’t necessarily help who
they are and then we got the likes and
the retweets and the favorites and the
photo Auto tag so now every time you hit
this app you could see some indications
are people approving of me or people
thinking of me and that’s what changed
our relationship with the phones from
this jobs the envision of this is a
beautiful object that does a few things
really well into I have to look at this
when I’m walking the dog I have to look
at this you know what I mean the
bathroom I have to look at this when I’m
in the line
there is nothing fundamental about the
tack that said we need to be looking at
this all the time that was essentially a
business model and the research shows
that people should have some alone time
and then some time to collaborate and be
with other people when the healthy
balance of both is really important
so technology can bring them closer
together can make you more human it can
create more opportunities for you
but at the same time if we’re always
overusing and misusing this technology
can bring us further apart and damage
our relationships
the issue is autonomy people were
feeling like I am losing control over my
life and that’s why I’m upset not that
this is always bad but it’s that I’m
doing this more than I showed them doing
this more than it’s useful I’m doing
this as more than its healthy I’m doing
this to the exclusion of things that I
know are much more meaningful
I feel manipulated like how I feel my
emotions that somehow these algorithms
are changing how I feel and so that the
the argument is am losing my autonomy as
a human be the problem in our culture is
it’s a Burnout culture people working
more hours especially with technology
people are working nights weekends and
vacations not having your phone as the
new vacation
right because there’s a kill feeling
this convenience feeling in an an
or one need that humans have I want you
to remember this is to feel validated by
other people we can feel good about
ourselves but if we don’t get that from
other people if they don’t validate that
we’re smart intelligent independent it’s
hard to feel that so we’re all craving
that validation and so to productivity
on the individual basis and if you waste
too much time doing things that are not
giving the benefits just because it’s a
distraction
then email yourself that’s why the
fulfillments point was the
self-awareness and then it’s putting
together schedule to reflect where you
want to get out of your day week month
or a year
competent person who has a skill is sort
of quiet and easy the non competent
person is out there yelling into the
void online
so Generation Z which is the the first
generation to have sort of ubiquitous
access to smartphone social media as
they enter their young adolescence this
generation that’s where anxiety anxiety
related disorders were literally off the
charts
not useless to be on Facebook that’s not
the issue it’s that this has become so
compulsive what do we need to flourish
as human beat you do activity that has
intrinsic quality right so you go out
there to I want to do things with my
time that itself is my quality there’s
value and just doing that and then and
then in your professional life you look
to big impact research shows that open
offices are bad for human interactions
so if you’re not getting your alone time
if you’re always hearing and seeing
people in the office you’re very
distracted but if you’re not getting
that and you don’t get any human
interaction that extreme can hurt you as
well
I mean when things become dangerous in
our life is when you start using them to
escape part of things you know people
are most creative in conversations with
other people people make you more
creative not sitting and looking at a
wall not looking at me at all there we
go device so we’re wired to be very
fulfilled when we can take an idea and
manifest it in the fiscal concrete world
which is why there’s a type of
fulfillment we get when you get
something or you carve something or
whatever it is that you don’t get on a
screen we are not given natural guidance
in life we could wake up and we could
not go to work tomorrow we can suddenly
do whatever we want if if we felt so
excited so we have to create our own
sense of purpose and that purpose can’t
come from the outside [Music]
a strong connection if you don’t see and
hear someone for a long period of time
and people default to using their
devices don’t accept what you see with
your eyes look for something deeper we
underestimate how artificial it is to
have a constant companion you’re doing
this because you I want to feel accepted
but by doing this all the time you’re
actually feeling less connected and less
accepted you’re absorbing too much
information on our phone actually we’re
thinking about ourselves getting outside
of yourself and finding other people
more interesting than your selling news
technology is a bridge demon an
interaction don’t let it be a barrier to
the very relationships that you need to
so people tap their phones over 2600
times a day they look at their phones
every 12 minutes leaping with the phones
which isn’t healthy and so I think this
sort of low-grade hum of anxiety there’s
so many people feel today is actually
lack of solitude but every time you have
a down moment you’re looking at social
media you don’t get the downtime that
your brain is just to do all the things
that’s it expects to have time to do but
it’s actually an insecurity of this a
self-doubt when you’re trying to please
people and maybe you go a little extra
hard
if you go back to the the beginning of
the key iPhone in 2007 there was nothing
about this tack that meant for you to
look at it all the time
right Steve Jobs was a minimalist his
whole thing was I want to take something
that’s really important to you and I
want to make the experience beautiful
that was smartphones it was this
beautiful tool that you brought out
occasionally to do specific things yet I
find especially with people my age
everyone is not only looking for
validation they are afraid they have to
fear to leave a relationship because
they don’t want to be lonely they have
fear of being judged so they just stay
we’re watching the same world the same
reality but we experience it differently
so you have an attitude that colors what
you see and some people have an attitude
that tends towards the negative you you
have certain beliefs certain ideas about
life and you’re not willing to change
them and so you want an attitude that’s
expansive where you accept people you’re
not always judging them you’re not
negative about them you understand that
people that can’t necessarily help who
they are and then we got the likes and
the retweets and the favorites and the
photo Auto tag so now every time you hit
this app you could see some indications
are people approving of me or people
thinking of me and that’s what changed
our relationship with the phones from
this jobs the envision of this is a
beautiful object that does a few things
really well into I have to look at this
when I’m walking the dog I have to look
at this you know what I mean the
bathroom I have to look at this when I’m
in the line
there is nothing fundamental about the
tack that said we need to be looking at
this all the time that was essentially a
business model and the research shows
that people should have some alone time
and then some time to collaborate and be
with other people when the healthy
balance of both is really important
so technology can bring them closer
together can make you more human it can
create more opportunities for you
but at the same time if we’re always
overusing and misusing this technology
can bring us further apart and damage
our relationships
the issue is autonomy people were
feeling like I am losing control over my
life and that’s why I’m upset not that
this is always bad but it’s that I’m
doing this more than I showed them doing
this more than it’s useful I’m doing
this as more than its healthy I’m doing
this to the exclusion of things that I
know are much more meaningful
I feel manipulated like how I feel my
emotions that somehow these algorithms
are changing how I feel and so that the
the argument is am losing my autonomy as
a human be the problem in our culture is
it’s a Burnout culture people working
more hours especially with technology
people are working nights weekends and
vacations not having your phone as the
new vacation
right because there’s a kill feeling
this convenience feeling in an an
or one need that humans have I want you
to remember this is to feel validated by
other people we can feel good about
ourselves but if we don’t get that from
other people if they don’t validate that
we’re smart intelligent independent it’s
hard to feel that so we’re all craving
that validation and so to productivity
on the individual basis and if you waste
too much time doing things that are not
giving the benefits just because it’s a
distraction
then email yourself that’s why the
fulfillments point was the
self-awareness and then it’s putting
together schedule to reflect where you
want to get out of your day week month
or a year
competent person who has a skill is sort
of quiet and easy the non competent
person is out there yelling into the
void online
so Generation Z which is the the first
generation to have sort of ubiquitous
access to smartphone social media as
they enter their young adolescence this
generation that’s where anxiety anxiety
related disorders were literally off the
charts
not useless to be on Facebook that’s not
the issue it’s that this has become so
compulsive what do we need to flourish
as human beat you do activity that has
intrinsic quality right so you go out
there to I want to do things with my
time that itself is my quality there’s
value and just doing that and then and
then in your professional life you look
to big impact research shows that open
offices are bad for human interactions
so if you’re not getting your alone time
if you’re always hearing and seeing
people in the office you’re very
distracted but if you’re not getting
that and you don’t get any human
interaction that extreme can hurt you as
well
I mean when things become dangerous in
our life is when you start using them to
escape part of things you know people
are most creative in conversations with
other people people make you more
creative not sitting and looking at a
wall not looking at me at all there we
go device so we’re wired to be very
fulfilled when we can take an idea and
manifest it in the fiscal concrete world
which is why there’s a type of
fulfillment we get when you get
something or you carve something or
whatever it is that you don’t get on a
screen we are not given natural guidance
in life we could wake up and we could
not go to work tomorrow we can suddenly
do whatever we want if if we felt so
excited so we have to create our own
sense of purpose and that purpose can’t
come from the outside [Music]
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