what makes this book so interesting man
is is your story of trying to put it
together which is at least as powerful
as the stories in the book if not in
some cases more powerful so how did you
deal with rejection oh my god
horribly you know because pretty much
the whole book at some point feels like
this long string of me getting my ass
beat you know and dealing with that
rejection I realize is not only a part
of the entrepreneurial journey it is the
entrepreneurial journey so how you deal
with it is a lot more interesting than
how you got your win because everybody
will get their win in a different way
but how you deal with the rejection in
many ways is a universal act and what
I’ve learned is that I do two things one
when I’m getting beat and doors are just
being slammed in my face over and over
and over again and I have nothing left
the only thing that keeps me because
I’ve thought about quitting you know I’m
I’m a human being I’ve thought about you
know is this worth it the only thing
that would keep me going was that larger
belief that we talked about in the
beginning of it’s not about me
there’ll be points on my journey where I
would be you know up by 4:00 a.m.
sleeping at midnight just pounding the
pavement and after you know getting
rejected over and over over again with
that kind of lifestyle you lose your
spirit of what started it
and it was my best friends that would
save me and they would be like dude
tomorrow like I’m taking your phone
we’re going you know on an adventure
we’re going you know whatever it was and
in many ways that was like my emotional
reset which saved me over and over and
over
how can we achieve a high-performance
mindset when maybe we don’t have a great
coach like that or someone who’s
powerful in our lives that maybe isn’t
doesn’t emit the best energy that’s a
great question is that such a good
question
okay so some of you have not had the
opportunity to have people in your life
that get you and understand who you are
and and maybe they’re not sophisticated
in the way that they guide you it’s a
it’s a nice thought to think that we
become the average of our five most
intimate relationships financially
spiritually education you know like we
become the average of the people around
us and so I don’t know I don’t know a
way to the word I’m missing the words to
say to share with you the importance of
having people that get you and that have
been down the journey and they want to
help you do better so being available
for being coached is part of it and then
understanding the process to coach
others is the gift you give in return to
pay it forward and so I don’t have a
clear answer other than maybe maybe
being open to being coaching to being
coached by people that have accumulated
and understand and reveal to themselves
a sense of wisdom and there’s wise women
and wise men and being open to that is
really a wonderful accelerant to you
becoming who you’re meant to become
it can’t happen from reading you’re not
going to get it in a book reading is
great you know it’s a it’s a it’s a
center to acquire knowledge but moving
from knowledge to insight is something
that is really important and let’s never
forget never forget that you are your
greatest coach you are with yourself
often when you’re present at least and
the inner dialogue that you have in the
relationship you have with yourself was
taught to you you didn’t just come into
the world with that software it was
taught to you and the good news is if it
was taught to you you can change it you
can discard that part of you and those
parts of the conversation that are no
longer fitting and you can upgrade when
some failure you learn from getting
the pocket oh you know you learn through
getting hit in the pocket you follow me
when you’re giving somebody half your
money and you gotta sell your house and
you learn I made a mistake next time I’m
gonna play a little closer to my chest
that’s how you learn in life it’s not by
reading a book because you’re not gonna
listen to read the heart of wars we’ll
teach you how to or the war of art is
gonna teach you how to plan and
strategize or both kind of nah get rid
of your fears or whatever but it’s not
gonna tell you what they’re doing what
not to do what’s a mistake and what’s
not a mistake nobody knows the tool you
think Kenny Rogers only invested in a
chicken company he thought that no you
know they came to him with a deal no
until you try it you don’t get smart by
him reading of Vogler reading about
Nostradamus you get smart by family and
then you decide what you’re not you’re
not gonna do no more I won’t be doing
that start checking in with your
thoughts and how you’re feeling each day
so outside about gratitude practice
which I’m gonna kind of talk about as
well this is probably the number one
fastest way that you can start changing
your life and I’m going to tell you
about the ripple effect that happens so
it’s checking in to see where you’re at
what emotion are you feeling in that
moment so if you wake up in the morning
and you’re anything like me I don’t
necessarily wake up in the best Boone at
all so I really need to start figuring
out how to up level my feelings right
because our feelings are the best
indicators of what we’re attracting what
we’re going to attract that day how
we’re gonna feel maybe what’s gonna come
into our life who we’re gonna end up
talking to because truly truly I know
that we are all on a we’re all vibrating
at a different frequency so if you are a
really positive excited happy person who
knows that great things are gonna come
your way or who’s always thinking
positive you’re gonna attract that same
type of person and I can see this
through my life as I’ve really started
to uplevel my life and
thoughts in my business the people that
are being drawn to me so you really do
it really is like attracts like so what
we want to do is we want to get you into
that mode right those people that you’re
like wow they can just walk into a room
and you just feel their energy they’re
just vibrating so high or maybe they’re
just always so happy or they always you
you just want to be around them because
you want a piece of what they have so
how do we get there how do we become one
of those people when you wake up in the
morning maybe if you are at a low point
or you’re thinking about all the things
that you have to do that day what is a
thought or what is something that you
can do to get yourself to the next best
reachable thought so I don’t want you to
think that you have to go from zero to a
hundred in that split-second it’s
basically going from zero to five to ten
to twenty to fifty and working your way
up so it’s one thought at a time so
maybe you wake up and you just say three
things that you’re grateful for every
single morning you let yourself really
experience being grateful for it really
think about why you’re grateful and then
what you’re gonna do is as as you mosey
down the stairs to get your cup of
coffee you say three more things you’re
grateful for or I’m so grateful that I
have a job today because of what it
allows me to do and you really start
letting that sink in and you think of
something that maybe you’re excited
about something that you could create
something that you love about yourself
it’s this constant up leveling of your
thoughts so it’s guiding your thoughts
right so instead of just being mindless
which what happens we’re imperfect human
beings right so when we’re mindless and
when we don’t guide our thoughts they’re
gonna go to chaos they’re gonna go to
craziness they’re gonna go to overwhelm
because life is crazy and we’re
constantly getting sidetracked we’re
constantly getting distracted it’s
literally people’s full-time job on TV
on Instagram on whatever we’re doing to
distract us right they want us to be
their consumer they want us to be
completely distracted they want us to go
to this fast-food place do this thing do
that thing so we need to bring it back
to a mindful place so really that’s what
we’re doing when we up level those
thoughts is how do you bring it back
from crazytown so bring it on back and
then guide it
see that next best thought right because
the next best thought is gonna attract
another good thought attract another
good thought and it attract another good
thought when you’re starting out
particularly you have to play to your
strengths you have to do something that
really excites you and what it was
different about that and in the case of
following the the nonlinear structure
was a somewhat unusual choice but it’s
those things that are the strengths of
the project it’s the things that you can
bring to what you’re doing or bring to
the filmmaking craft that maybe not
everybody else is doing maybe not
everybody else can do or is thought to
do that’s what’s going to distinguish so
it might seem in some ways more
difficult or seem like something that
would make the project more difficult to
to sell when it’s finished you know what
I have you but for me I think the answer
was definitely to try to play to my
strengths and the things that I
personally was passionate about there’s
a gap between who people are and what
they tell you they want to accomplish
because in the beginning I hired
everyone everyone right not because I’m
super smart and thought hey I should
there was no one else right like we had
the smallest handful of people ever and
so I started doing the interviewing as I
was doing it I started realizing God
these guys tell me they want to do
something amazing with their life and if
you just listen like wow yeah like I
want to be in your team dude you’re
gonna do amazing stuff and then you
realize I can’t execute on that dream so
if I can’t they they don’t have the
mindset yet like there’s you could do an
entire podcast series on how to get the
mindset but I’ll just use Carol Dweck
and her amazing voting mindset as I’m
sure such a good book I see Simon’s the
neck up there who is also very
influential in us and she says some
people either believe they’re smart is
there ever gonna be and that’s that so
they’re gonna be ego protective and
they’re gonna you know try to thwart
anything that makes them feel like
they’re not the smartest person or
whatever and then there’s people with a
growth mindset and they realized I’m not
the smartest person and I’m certainly
not as smart as I could be so even if I
am the smartest person ever lived I
could get a little bit smarter and so
when they’re confronted with
contradictory information they learn and
they soak it up like
the people are fixed mindset right
correct it’s done like no this is the
way and I’m right and that’s wrong yes
and I would say the world everyone’s on
a spectrum right even I as much as I
believe in it and work my ass off to be
a growth mindset
I still have let’s call it 10% where I
catch myself in like come on dude you
know better than that yeah but so people
that fall in love say sub 50% spectrum
of the growth mindset it’s got to be 98%
been Grameen is low in those low teens
looked around and he looked at the
people he admired and he said you know I
want to be admired so why don’t I just
behave like them and they found there
was nothing impossible about behaving
like them and similarly he did the same
thing on the reverse side in terms of
getting rid of those qualities one of
the things I advise entrepreneurs to do
is when you have an idea a classic
entrepreneurial impulse is to hold the
idea close to you and not go to help you
because all the ideas so special
right that’s almost always a mistake go
talk to why is that a mistake yeah it’s
a mistake because your actual real
competitive advantage is not that you
have this idea that you have locked away
in your closet which may or may not be
accurate and you have no idea which it
is your actual competitive advantage is
if you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in motion think
that’s what people always have to ask
themselves do you believe in the concept
of what you’re doing do you believe that
there’s really there there I can figure
out the right you know product package
or the white way to reach users if you
believe that then you know keep
scrapping because usually there’s a way
like we have to do everything three
times before we get it right
thankfully I know that so I know that I
have to get up early and and try it five
times because the eight-year-old will be
able to get past it in two times so I
have to be on my feet longer but at
least I know it and so I just go at
stuff and it served me very well and
that my resume is pretty varied and I
have a pretty interesting life you know
get to do different stuff and have a bit
of access because I just said yeah I’ll
try that I mean why would I hold back
people think happiness is all about
money happiness is never ever about
money
happiness is about being able to control
your own life that’s all you want
uh-huh it don’t matter what you got in
your bank but if you can control your
own life you happy
that’s the beauty and that’s what
everybody’s mixed up yeah because you
got all this money but if somebody else
is controlling you as soon as we I got
off the phone call with him and then
also when he said it’s not in the
picture now but we think I think it’d be
great if Dallas dance at the end and my
heartbeat went up on the phone and I
started breaking the cold sweat like oh
no I thought that’s not and as soon as I
wouldn’t all no that’s not that the
other other devil in my ear said dare
you do and I just meant of course I
think it’s yes cuz I immediately notice
if you don’t you’re pulsing out dude are
you kidding me you will forever regret
you have to so soon as that got over
that I was like well that’s inevitable
I’m doing it mmm now I got to bust my
ass to go do it the best I can and a lot
of fear that mmm I mean that was yeah
that was some major really good anxiety
and fear and then now we’re saying now
I’m saying by that dumb now everything
my choice is from that phone call long
work anything I was nervous about you
have to go no don’t go all I go meet
midnight yes can I meet him for another
Cory choreographed session 8:00 a.m.
Sunday morning do you got an hour
I’m gonna go send them here my wife’s
over there watching reading something I
understand the mirin I’m gonna practice
as a mood this is really embarrassing
well too bad man do it in the mirror
right now because the less embarrassing
that gets hopefully the more comfortable
you’ll be when you’re out there in front
of 80 people and bunch of cameras and
don’t come up short yo go all the way
you know one way to conceptualize what
makes a good product is you know good
engineering is part of it good design is
part of it but really it’s one way I
think about it at least is maximizing
the probability that someone shows up at
the front door of you know your store or
your website or or whatever it is and
ends up with a solved problem and
oftentimes the best methodology is to
start with the perfect experience just
one person get
right and then figure out how to scale
something great instead of scaling
something not so great and then trying
to prove it that’s really hard I’ve
learned an experience is that you know
if you don’t open up and you don’t
delegate then you’ll kill yourself and
if there’s one thing I’ve managed to
understand is the art of delegation
because if I can pass on you know to
Claire Smith to areum my palate my
understanding my knowledge then grab it
run it and then pass on to your team
don’t hold that inside so the most
important part of getting to a goal is
to start feeling it now is to start
acting as if right if you want to be
that leader if you want to be that
author if you want to be that painter
all it takes is one action and you truly
are in the process of becoming it so
it’s funny that I am literally basically
done with the book and I’m like can I
call myself an author yet I’ve written a
book of course because you have taken
the action you’re doing the actions
there is no final anointing of anyone
there’s no ceremony there’s no fireworks
you just start acting as if and feeling
it and envisioning it and picturing it
and soon enough you become it right so
everybody starts somewhere so whether
you are a famous ballerina or an Olympic
swimmer they all started somewhere they
all had to take that first class they
all had to take that first leap into the
water right and at what point can you
start calling yourself a swimmer a
dancer an author it’s the second that
you start taking action and you start
thinking it and you’re feeling it right
it’s about embodying it so my biggest
tip for you is to start seeing yourself
as that person and start taking the
small actions of being that person that
you want to be that’s the only thing
that is separating you from actually
being it so you have to act as if in
order to really start getting that ball
rolling and all of a sudden you
I was with a bunch of other investors
who I respect and they brought me a deal
and I wanted to be part of it but it
didn’t feel right and I wrote millions
of dollars on that one and it just
didn’t feel right and I lost it all
within two years associate investors
trust I got dinner
absolutely and trust you but what about
you said earlier don’t be emotional and
sometimes the gut know this this is a
barometer of risk it’s something an
internalized for an investor that says I
don’t feel comfortable it’s not about
emotion just don’t write that check that
was recently the first time I didn’t
listen to that and I lost everything so
now my radar is up I listen to my gut
it’s not an emotion it’s an index of
risk and you get it as you age you
become a better investor every year if
only I could live to 200 I’d be really
good if you’re not utilizing an online
community then you’re at a disadvantage
to those who are you can be asking
online communities what they think about
your ideas or if they have any advice
with what you’re working on not only
will you hear from people who are
passionate about the subject but you’ll
be hearing from people all around the
world each with their own experiences
and stories that can help you looks and
lots of companies and why I thought they
don’t succeed over time we’ve had a more
rapid turnover of companies so what did
they fundamentally do wrong like one of
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what is that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it failure is part of life I mean
the difference for me though is I’m like
a failure as a stepping stone to success
like it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna
fail but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes I’ve screwed so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability to influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that messed me up
but I show people that didn’t let it
stop me and you don’t need to stop you
and I think I think that’s really the
secret matter and if everything you
touch was successful
first we got to relate to people as much
oh you’ll be late and also it’s be total
bullsh and everyone know it’s bull and
also you’d be bored silly I mean think
about it if you just said I want this
and happen I want this to happen you
know people don’t value what they don’t
fight for you know it’s like you see
kids sometimes in it you know your
parents will say you’re not gonna value
this if you don’t work for it and your
kid going oh well you just give it to me
but it’s true you know about things
we’ve worked the hardest for we value
the most so I think you know the purpose
of the goal is not getting it anyway the
purpose of goal you know is what who you
become well you becomes gonna make you
happier it’s gonna make you sad
so I’m not looking for an effortless
approach there’s no such thing I find
that levels of success in almost any
industry or area correlate to a person
asking great questions in some cases
they seem absurd in fact the hallmarking
way of great questions is that sound
completely ridiculous so someone might
ask like Peter Thiel why can’t you
achieve your ten-year goals in the next
six months there’s a thought exercise
that’s like–that’s that’s a good
question to answer for yourself and
these types of questions come up
surprisingly often with with very very
impressive folks whether it’s in
business military entertainment or
otherwise and the way you can get better
at questions is by studying interviews
in part so I studied Larry King I
studied Charlie Rose I studied Terry
Gross I studied that that go down the
list
I studied Tony Robbins who does in
person one-on-one interventions at his
events in front of 10,000 5,000 people
and he’s just genius with how he uses
questions to like pattern interrupt and
grab someone’s attention and divert them
in a more productive productive
direction now why is that relevant
relevant because thinking is the process
of asking questions you’re asking
yourself questions then you’re answering
them in your own head so if you get
better at asking other people questions
you get better at asking yourself
questions which means you are
you’re improving your thought
performance and level of thinking many
many kids and many grown-ups do figure
out over time what their passions are
and sometimes we let our I don’t think
it’s that hard I think what happens
though sometimes is that we let our
intellectual selves overrule those
passions and so that’s what needs to be
guarded against so there are a number of
decisions that we make every day and on
a product side there are billion
different features that we could make so
the hard part is really choosing which
ones to focus on which ones to build and
you only have a finite number that you
can’t actually execute on so for us a
lot of it is just listening to the
community and more importantly
understanding you know what features
they’re asking for but why are they
asking for these specific things what’s
the root problem they’re trying to solve
or goal that you’re trying to achieve
and a lot of that is based on actual
behaviors so not just what they say but
what they do and if you’re really trying
to achieve something then so to say hey
here’s my vision and I’d like to say be
obstinate about your vision but be
really flexible about your tactics what
does that mean it’s sort of like think
big act small what that means is it’s
important to have a vision of where
you’re trying to go how you get there is
a series of experiments now you can call
them extraneous when they don’t work but
they’re learning experiments where you
try things see what works try the next
thing don’t solicit feedback on your
product your idea or your business just
for validation purposes be really
careful about that we want to tell the
people that can help move your idea
forward but if you’re just looking to
your friend coworker husband wife for
validation be careful because out of
love and concern a lot of people will
express some
concerns and it can stop a lot of
multi-million dollar ideas right in
their tracks in the beginning I would
say that the lesson learned for me to
anybody else out there interested in
starting a business is please find
something you’re passionate about
because it’s so much work it’s so much
time it’s so much effort but if the
subject matter is something that you you
genuinely love to be involved with it’s
it’s not gonna be that big of a drag and
it’s not gonna be that bit much work
it’s gonna be incredibly exciting and
rewarding because to your point you’ll
feel like you’re living your the life
that you’re meant to live somebody said
to you you’ll have or you’ll be as
successful as you are now what have you
had sent back then I believe you
that’s probable to say because I did
believe I believed in it I had very few
people who told me that I had a small
small small group of people that would
tell me something like that order than
that it was just me telling myself yeah
so if someone came up to me and told me
that all the way back then I’d say
you’re damn right
there’s a lot of conventional wisdom out
there built up over time and built
through all the learnings from all the
companies and this may be fully
applicable to most of the companies out
there but before it’s applied to your
organization I highly recommend that you
question it because it could be
absolutely fatal for your success and so
I think when you are starting a new
business you you don’t want to go after
giant markets you want to go after small
markets and you want to take over those
markets quickly what this all comes down
to is doing something exceptional for
your users whether it’s in community the
hardest thing to do is start you have
all these ideas and everyone has an idea
but it’s really about executing the idea
and building the idea and attracting
other people to help you work on the
idea that is the biggest challenge but
the way to begin is to get the idea out
of your head draw it out you know talk
about it program it if you’re a
programmer or make it if you’re building
something and I find even with myself
that it’s really hard to do a Minimum
Viable Product this minimum that you’re
constantly thinking no no it really has
to have this other partner it really has
to have this and then you over build and
then you have to unbilled and rebuild
which is very disappointing so doing a
Minimum Viable Product is really
important and it’s even more minimum
than you think it is and so when we’re
coming up with ideas you know we always
what kind of new market is is creating
and then also what what part of my day
and in what problem is it solving and so
I’ve gone as far as taking an entire
catalogue of my day from the moment I
like open my eyes and writing down every
single thing I do and then asking myself
like is there something here and so it’s
not just about doing focus groups it’s
not just about you know double-checking
your vision it really is about
integrating this concept of testing our
ideas rigorously through out the product
development process out the marketing
process even as we scale and so when we
see a kid with a lemonade stand it’s
different then when we see a vending
machine selling lemonade even if it’s
exactly the same product because the
story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re two percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world a lot of
times I’ll be a tours at Mile Run or
something like that and I’m all jacked
up body’s broken mines broken spirits
broken I started to say what if I can
pull this off when I first walked into
the Navy SEAL recruiters office he
looked at me and said only been 35
african-americans and seventy years make
it through you know I said to myself
what if I can be the 36th it’s the what
if I can pull off a miracle what if I
can become someone that no one thinks I
can be and just that just means talking
about that I have a hair going up on my
arms because it makes me just like what
if I can be that guy that people who
call nigger and this and that and now
I’m speaking at Toms favorite event you
can’t ever sort of balance two
completely contradictory things as a
means of hedging you have to decide what
are you going to believe in and put
your energy behind that and that’s
that’s the those are the kinds of
strategic decisions and trade-offs that
you make every day as an entrepreneur
and it’s important that you create the
level of clarity and conviction to go
after an opportunity that isn’t hedging
you know lots of different ideas or lots
of different approaches because that’s
the surest way that you’ll never be good
at it sort of anything once you have the
passion anything that you’re passionate
about now if you can look at other
people or other entities or other things
or works of art and you can draw things
from that to help you be better at what
you buy looking for those common
denominators I don’t even know how do I
prepare how do I prepare how do I study
how do I view the game how do you build
your game and my response is much like
the way he builds products and you think
sequentially oh yeah you look at this
the end result of what you want to
create but in order to create that
there’s so many other little things that
go into this massive entity that device
it’s no different than building my
basketball game you start with where you
want your game to be will we make your
game most unstoppable hard to deal with
and now you work backwards from there
and you start building in one piece at a
time one move at a time one counter
there’s a lot of similarities there a
rule of thumb is to only worry about the
next order of magnitude so when you have
100 users worry about what the company
looks like can it survive to a thousand
a thousand ten thousand and so on and so
forth if you’re worrying about the
millionth user and their experience and
how your technology is gonna scale when
you have 100 users you’re you’re pointed
in the wrong direction but we realized
it pays to be a cockroach and by that I
mean it pays just to not stop and just
to not die like we thought you know
everything along the way it tried to
kill us right like all of our friends
were like startups are dumb you’re dumb
your ideas are dumb and we kind of just
looked at all of them and said whatever
and build codecademy so it pays not to
quit today you should think okay my
co-founders do we do we cover a lot of
surface area do we have different skill
sets
and is it somebody that that I trust
fundamentally and that’s those are
really really really important questions
to ask yourself because if so they give
a really strong foundation to go forward
if you’re gonna start your own thing you
know maybe you have a grand grand vision
of like all the different features it’s
gonna have and all the different you
know revenue lines you’re gonna do and
you know keep keep that vision but do
one piece of that first and do it really
really really well it’s so much better
to do a few things well then many things
poorly we get to create any company we
want right we get to create the reason
for its existence we get to create the
rules the game and who we hire and how
we hire them and who can stay and who
can’t stay right it’s beautiful and so I
just would encourage everyone that as we
all contemplate life to try to question
the assumptions that we live by and the
default options that are given to us and
expand our thinking to wonder what we
really can’t do with our lives what I
see right now is people wrap up their
sense of success and identity with their
prowess and fundraising and comparing
themselves against how their peers are
doing I think that’s really the wrong
way to look at things and it leads to
kind of non optimal outcomes for
instance I don’t know if the valuations
that companies are getting today is
necessarily healthy for the company
themselves and for us again you know our
inability to raise capital actually
forced us to be very disciplined in how
we think about the operational metrics
in the company and that’s allowed us to
you know be pretty successful but what
you really need to do is think about
what is the smallest possible test that
I can run for this idea for this concept
for this theory get it out there and get
customers using it because your
customers are gonna be the ones to tell
you if it’s really working or not
try to do something that you would want
to do anyway whether it’s it doesn’t
necessarily have to be a very successful
business because when you do decide to
become an entrepreneur and start a
business chances are it’s not gonna do
it’s not gonna become like a
multi-million dollar business so at
least do something that you love in the
beginning so that even if it fails you’d
still enjoy it I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming what can I
anticipate that other people don’t see
and then you must have the courage of
your convictions to execute the strategy
you want an idea about what you can say
I know it sounds like a bad idea but
here’s specifically why it’s actually a
great one you want to sound crazy but
you want to actually be right compassion
for yourself of course it’s as important
as compassion for others when often I
get asked questions like people who did
something that they now realize realized
was deeply wrong in the past
sometimes people ask questions about
they brought up their children in a way
that they now realize was not very
conscious and so that they may have
caused suffering to their children or
other people find they have caused
suffering to loved ones and they now
realize that what they did was wrong and
again I say this is an example where you
need to be compassionate with yourself
because nobody woman being can act
beyond their level of consciousness so
that was your level of consciousness at
the time and you could not go beyond
that
and again here to make demands upon
yourself up to a point it might be a
good thing to chew if you as long as you
enjoy it it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this there’s something here that’s
not right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing the definition of values
is they’re the behaviors or principles
that you religiously adhere to within
your company
when I say religious I mean that no
amount of data will sway you and it from
from those principles and the degree to
which that you have the courage to
maintain your conviction around those
ideas is the degree to which you’re
going to be successful over the long
term but ultimately the biggest thing
and why I suppose still spend from a
third majority of my time on is hiring
nothing has the impact of getting the
right people around the table and you
can’t manage your way out of a bad team
and so some of the best I got advice I
got was from Paul Graham one of the
investors in stripe who talks a lot
about unscalable strategies for user
acquisition say for example of you
helping each user personally sure that
one scale has agreed to a very large
strata size but when a start-up is just
starting out it really helps you have
because when you’re trying to
differentiate when you’re trying to do
something different there’s going to be
that gut moment that gut sense is this
right is this not right if you’re not if
you’re not having doubt you’re not
pushing the boundaries far enough you
need to focus on solutions not ideas all
of us here are really creative and we
come up with loads of ideas throughout
the game because we become really
excited about that there’s a dude we
should start a company around that but
that’s when you actually go to the other
side where you talk to over you you know
find out what someone actually a problem
a problem that they have and solve that
is is when you know real value comes out
I’m in meetings a lot my Keller gets
very full with those and then at night
after the kids have gone to bed I’m on
email a great deal I get messages during
the day that’s my chance to give long
responses and then over the weekend I
send a lot of mail as well as well I
take two weeks a year to just go off and
read and think where I’m not interrupted
by work or anything else I’m just
solidly trying to think about the future
and people get to send me things to read
as part of that so-called think week so
it’s a nice mix of things about 25% of
the time that I’m out traveling around
meeting with customers Europe Asia and
that sort of helps me think okay do we
have the right priorities what what are
people responding well to and what would
they they like to see us do better go
talk to people who failed at what you’re
doing and who are no longer doing it
there always are those people so you
started to start up you know you look at
the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to
Sounders who have no idea the history of
their own space and there’s some night
there’s some nice naivete to that in the
sense that like oh you’re gonna do that
differently
and and there’s some truth to that but
like when you get down to to making it
work and now you’re into it already
you’ve kind of salus what you’re doing
you have some problems then I’d go talk
to all these people who failed because
you’ll uncover all sorts of interesting
things that you can journey because if
you build something for yourself if you
build something that you love that you
think is sufficiently epic if you make
something that you love there’s probably
not a billion people in the world I’d
love it as well larger more established
entities can’t move as quickly as you
can and success and scale and size all
fight against this and I would encourage
you for the longest possible time as you
sort of start your own companies to look
for ways to stay agile whether it’s in
connection or whether it’s in design
this is our big advantage as a startup
is that we can actually get away with
doing this we can make this the core
part of why we’re doing business it’s so
hard I thought doing this research I
thought going into it there were
authentic people and inauthentic people
who I had I did not find any evidence of
that at all what I found is authenticity
to practice and you choose it every day
sometimes every hour of every day and
it’s a practice it’s not I just wake up
in hamm authentic most startups that
fail do it ultimately because they did
not make something that people wanted
they made something that you know that
they thought people would want
either in denial about it about you know
whether it was actually any good or
somebody else came along and made
something that people wanted even more
so it’s about this movement forward now
what you own not your education or your
pedigree not pile of resources you might
have at hand not your network just going
after this thing and knowing that as you
do that you’ll find what you need you’ll
make your way over around going through
and I think the best entrepreneurs that
I’ve met are able to do that because
they have this strong vision and they
know that it’s worth it to keep moving
forward if you’re gonna have a breakout
startup you’ve really got to think about
how you can innovate on distribution not
just fondant right and the biggest
mistake I see these days that I see
brilliant startup founders who are
brilliant product people and they’ve
really thought about their product but
haven’t really thought about how they’re
gonna make it grow and then they launch
their product and it’s like crickets
chirping no one no one’s using it and
they’re kind of flummoxed as to what to
do because they’ve never really spent
time thinking about it and they just
kind of assume that if you build a good
product everyone’s gonna find it and the
reality is it’s a big web out there and
that’s absolutely true
the beauty of failing is if you’re open
to admitting the failure and learning
from it you probably won’t fail again in
that one department and you’ll know what
to expect next time and that just makes
you stronger and and more accurate with
the risks that you take from the time I
was seven years old every Saturday I
would go for four hours of acting class
every Saturday whoa and I loved it I
just left it till the point with all the
kids graduated and went on to this other
stuff and I started doing adult acting
classes and then I was in the commercial
classes and then I loved like the hair
and makeup classes and just everything I
just couldn’t get enough and you know
what everybody wants to hear what they
already believe to be true
and so the last thing they want to hear
is an original idea that contradicts
their belief system so it’s very hard to
even bring that kind of stuff up but
those are the things those are the only
things things that you believe
that everybody around you doesn’t
believe when you’re right that create
real value in the world everything else
people already know there’s no value
created it’s just business as usual so
it’s so important to think for yourself
I do believe that organizations human
organizations are inherently unstable
they will fall over and you have to work
to keep them upright but they fall
slowly most people don’t notice it they
let their success they blind them they
don’t see it falling over the following
takes place law but the collapse is
quick you have to do constant assessment
you have to look for the hard truths
it’s not necessarily about the the exit
or the outcome it’s it’s about the
journey so it’s for me it’s just I think
you just you just need to enjoy that
aspect of it it’s you know because it’s
not an always an easy ride it’s a lot of
ups and downs along the way but as long
as you’re personally fulfilled by that
experience and genuinely enjoy what you
do then it makes it worthwhile don’t
necessarily think that you have to have
the home run in the huge Apple Computer
on your first start I spent a long time
in my life with skills just building
little devices for fun for fun is one of
the key things because that drives you
to think and think and think and make it
better and better and better than you
ever would if you’re doing it for a
company build things at first for
yourself that you would want if you’re
not coming up with ten ideas a day
that’s why I have this thing I’m not
coming up when I’m filling up this page
every single day then my idea muscle
will atrophy and I started this in 2001
and I still do it every single day like
you have to come up with ideas every
single day or the idea muscle atrophies
the good news is after about six months
of doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any so many things
go wrong when you’re starting a company
and often I think people ask you know
what mistakes
should you avoid making and you know my
answer the question is don’t even bother
trying to avoid mistakes because you’re
going to make tons of mistakes right and
the
the important thing is actually learning
quickly from whatever mistakes you make
and not giving up right and I mean there
are things every single year of
Facebook’s existence that could have
killed us are made it so that it just
seemed like moving forward and making a
lot of progress just seemed intractable
but you just kind of bounce back and you
learn and nothing is impossible you just
have to kind of keep running through the
walls you will already know who you are
and that piece that piece that we’re
after lies somewhere beyond personality
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this world don’t let
anything stand in the way of the light
that shines through this form risk being
seen in all of your glory try and be
decisive I try and even if I don’t know
what the hell I’m doing I try to be
decisive because I think it’s very
comforting and reassuring and important
to the people that work with you to feel
that whoever is in charge knows what
they’re doing and knows what they’re
thinking and that if it’s a yes it’s a
yes and it’s a no it’s a no I mean I
don’t think of myself as a boss I mean I
I think of myself as someone who’s
giving direction and guidance and vice
versa you’re really trying to solve a
new problem in a different way you have
to come to problems with beginner’s mind
right not knowing something can be a
very powerful tool in to accomplishing
it because you don’t know that it’s not
possible that’s what doing a startup is
not realizing that something is
impossible in doing it anyway
how do you think about making a decision
when everyone tells you this is a crazy
idea where do you get the internal
strength to do that well first of all
I’d say I actually think I feel feel
fair quite strongly so it’s not as
though I just have the absence of fear
I’ve I feel it quite strongly but there
were times when if something is
important enough you believe in it
enough that you do you do it in spite of
the fear so speaking of important things
like people shouldn’t think III I should
think well I feel fear about this and
therefore I shouldn’t do it it’s normal
to be to feel fear like
definitely something mentally wrong you
shouldn’t feel fair so you just feel it
and let the importance of it anyway yeah
you know actually we’re something that
can be helpful as fatalism some degree
if you just think if you just accept the
probabilities then that diminishes fair
so my starting SpaceX I thought the odds
of success were less than 10% and I just
accepted that actually probably I would
just lose lose everything but that maybe
would make some progress if we could
just move the ball forward even if we
died maybe some other company could pick
up the baton and move and keep moving it
forward so that we still do some good
yeah same with Tesla I thought your odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low so just go and do it
try learn from it you know you’ll fail
at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who you may respect and
who you believe know what they’re
talking about don’t let them tell you it
can’t be done because often they will
tell you it can’t be done and it’s just
because you don’t have the courage to try it
is is your story of trying to put it
together which is at least as powerful
as the stories in the book if not in
some cases more powerful so how did you
deal with rejection oh my god
horribly you know because pretty much
the whole book at some point feels like
this long string of me getting my ass
beat you know and dealing with that
rejection I realize is not only a part
of the entrepreneurial journey it is the
entrepreneurial journey so how you deal
with it is a lot more interesting than
how you got your win because everybody
will get their win in a different way
but how you deal with the rejection in
many ways is a universal act and what
I’ve learned is that I do two things one
when I’m getting beat and doors are just
being slammed in my face over and over
and over again and I have nothing left
the only thing that keeps me because
I’ve thought about quitting you know I’m
I’m a human being I’ve thought about you
know is this worth it the only thing
that would keep me going was that larger
belief that we talked about in the
beginning of it’s not about me
there’ll be points on my journey where I
would be you know up by 4:00 a.m.
sleeping at midnight just pounding the
pavement and after you know getting
rejected over and over over again with
that kind of lifestyle you lose your
spirit of what started it
and it was my best friends that would
save me and they would be like dude
tomorrow like I’m taking your phone
we’re going you know on an adventure
we’re going you know whatever it was and
in many ways that was like my emotional
reset which saved me over and over and
over
how can we achieve a high-performance
mindset when maybe we don’t have a great
coach like that or someone who’s
powerful in our lives that maybe isn’t
doesn’t emit the best energy that’s a
great question is that such a good
question
okay so some of you have not had the
opportunity to have people in your life
that get you and understand who you are
and and maybe they’re not sophisticated
in the way that they guide you it’s a
it’s a nice thought to think that we
become the average of our five most
intimate relationships financially
spiritually education you know like we
become the average of the people around
us and so I don’t know I don’t know a
way to the word I’m missing the words to
say to share with you the importance of
having people that get you and that have
been down the journey and they want to
help you do better so being available
for being coached is part of it and then
understanding the process to coach
others is the gift you give in return to
pay it forward and so I don’t have a
clear answer other than maybe maybe
being open to being coaching to being
coached by people that have accumulated
and understand and reveal to themselves
a sense of wisdom and there’s wise women
and wise men and being open to that is
really a wonderful accelerant to you
becoming who you’re meant to become
it can’t happen from reading you’re not
going to get it in a book reading is
great you know it’s a it’s a it’s a
center to acquire knowledge but moving
from knowledge to insight is something
that is really important and let’s never
forget never forget that you are your
greatest coach you are with yourself
often when you’re present at least and
the inner dialogue that you have in the
relationship you have with yourself was
taught to you you didn’t just come into
the world with that software it was
taught to you and the good news is if it
was taught to you you can change it you
can discard that part of you and those
parts of the conversation that are no
longer fitting and you can upgrade when
some failure you learn from getting
the pocket oh you know you learn through
getting hit in the pocket you follow me
when you’re giving somebody half your
money and you gotta sell your house and
you learn I made a mistake next time I’m
gonna play a little closer to my chest
that’s how you learn in life it’s not by
reading a book because you’re not gonna
listen to read the heart of wars we’ll
teach you how to or the war of art is
gonna teach you how to plan and
strategize or both kind of nah get rid
of your fears or whatever but it’s not
gonna tell you what they’re doing what
not to do what’s a mistake and what’s
not a mistake nobody knows the tool you
think Kenny Rogers only invested in a
chicken company he thought that no you
know they came to him with a deal no
until you try it you don’t get smart by
him reading of Vogler reading about
Nostradamus you get smart by family and
then you decide what you’re not you’re
not gonna do no more I won’t be doing
that start checking in with your
thoughts and how you’re feeling each day
so outside about gratitude practice
which I’m gonna kind of talk about as
well this is probably the number one
fastest way that you can start changing
your life and I’m going to tell you
about the ripple effect that happens so
it’s checking in to see where you’re at
what emotion are you feeling in that
moment so if you wake up in the morning
and you’re anything like me I don’t
necessarily wake up in the best Boone at
all so I really need to start figuring
out how to up level my feelings right
because our feelings are the best
indicators of what we’re attracting what
we’re going to attract that day how
we’re gonna feel maybe what’s gonna come
into our life who we’re gonna end up
talking to because truly truly I know
that we are all on a we’re all vibrating
at a different frequency so if you are a
really positive excited happy person who
knows that great things are gonna come
your way or who’s always thinking
positive you’re gonna attract that same
type of person and I can see this
through my life as I’ve really started
to uplevel my life and
thoughts in my business the people that
are being drawn to me so you really do
it really is like attracts like so what
we want to do is we want to get you into
that mode right those people that you’re
like wow they can just walk into a room
and you just feel their energy they’re
just vibrating so high or maybe they’re
just always so happy or they always you
you just want to be around them because
you want a piece of what they have so
how do we get there how do we become one
of those people when you wake up in the
morning maybe if you are at a low point
or you’re thinking about all the things
that you have to do that day what is a
thought or what is something that you
can do to get yourself to the next best
reachable thought so I don’t want you to
think that you have to go from zero to a
hundred in that split-second it’s
basically going from zero to five to ten
to twenty to fifty and working your way
up so it’s one thought at a time so
maybe you wake up and you just say three
things that you’re grateful for every
single morning you let yourself really
experience being grateful for it really
think about why you’re grateful and then
what you’re gonna do is as as you mosey
down the stairs to get your cup of
coffee you say three more things you’re
grateful for or I’m so grateful that I
have a job today because of what it
allows me to do and you really start
letting that sink in and you think of
something that maybe you’re excited
about something that you could create
something that you love about yourself
it’s this constant up leveling of your
thoughts so it’s guiding your thoughts
right so instead of just being mindless
which what happens we’re imperfect human
beings right so when we’re mindless and
when we don’t guide our thoughts they’re
gonna go to chaos they’re gonna go to
craziness they’re gonna go to overwhelm
because life is crazy and we’re
constantly getting sidetracked we’re
constantly getting distracted it’s
literally people’s full-time job on TV
on Instagram on whatever we’re doing to
distract us right they want us to be
their consumer they want us to be
completely distracted they want us to go
to this fast-food place do this thing do
that thing so we need to bring it back
to a mindful place so really that’s what
we’re doing when we up level those
thoughts is how do you bring it back
from crazytown so bring it on back and
then guide it
see that next best thought right because
the next best thought is gonna attract
another good thought attract another
good thought and it attract another good
thought when you’re starting out
particularly you have to play to your
strengths you have to do something that
really excites you and what it was
different about that and in the case of
following the the nonlinear structure
was a somewhat unusual choice but it’s
those things that are the strengths of
the project it’s the things that you can
bring to what you’re doing or bring to
the filmmaking craft that maybe not
everybody else is doing maybe not
everybody else can do or is thought to
do that’s what’s going to distinguish so
it might seem in some ways more
difficult or seem like something that
would make the project more difficult to
to sell when it’s finished you know what
I have you but for me I think the answer
was definitely to try to play to my
strengths and the things that I
personally was passionate about there’s
a gap between who people are and what
they tell you they want to accomplish
because in the beginning I hired
everyone everyone right not because I’m
super smart and thought hey I should
there was no one else right like we had
the smallest handful of people ever and
so I started doing the interviewing as I
was doing it I started realizing God
these guys tell me they want to do
something amazing with their life and if
you just listen like wow yeah like I
want to be in your team dude you’re
gonna do amazing stuff and then you
realize I can’t execute on that dream so
if I can’t they they don’t have the
mindset yet like there’s you could do an
entire podcast series on how to get the
mindset but I’ll just use Carol Dweck
and her amazing voting mindset as I’m
sure such a good book I see Simon’s the
neck up there who is also very
influential in us and she says some
people either believe they’re smart is
there ever gonna be and that’s that so
they’re gonna be ego protective and
they’re gonna you know try to thwart
anything that makes them feel like
they’re not the smartest person or
whatever and then there’s people with a
growth mindset and they realized I’m not
the smartest person and I’m certainly
not as smart as I could be so even if I
am the smartest person ever lived I
could get a little bit smarter and so
when they’re confronted with
contradictory information they learn and
they soak it up like
the people are fixed mindset right
correct it’s done like no this is the
way and I’m right and that’s wrong yes
and I would say the world everyone’s on
a spectrum right even I as much as I
believe in it and work my ass off to be
a growth mindset
I still have let’s call it 10% where I
catch myself in like come on dude you
know better than that yeah but so people
that fall in love say sub 50% spectrum
of the growth mindset it’s got to be 98%
been Grameen is low in those low teens
looked around and he looked at the
people he admired and he said you know I
want to be admired so why don’t I just
behave like them and they found there
was nothing impossible about behaving
like them and similarly he did the same
thing on the reverse side in terms of
getting rid of those qualities one of
the things I advise entrepreneurs to do
is when you have an idea a classic
entrepreneurial impulse is to hold the
idea close to you and not go to help you
because all the ideas so special
right that’s almost always a mistake go
talk to why is that a mistake yeah it’s
a mistake because your actual real
competitive advantage is not that you
have this idea that you have locked away
in your closet which may or may not be
accurate and you have no idea which it
is your actual competitive advantage is
if you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in motion think
that’s what people always have to ask
themselves do you believe in the concept
of what you’re doing do you believe that
there’s really there there I can figure
out the right you know product package
or the white way to reach users if you
believe that then you know keep
scrapping because usually there’s a way
like we have to do everything three
times before we get it right
thankfully I know that so I know that I
have to get up early and and try it five
times because the eight-year-old will be
able to get past it in two times so I
have to be on my feet longer but at
least I know it and so I just go at
stuff and it served me very well and
that my resume is pretty varied and I
have a pretty interesting life you know
get to do different stuff and have a bit
of access because I just said yeah I’ll
try that I mean why would I hold back
people think happiness is all about
money happiness is never ever about
money
happiness is about being able to control
your own life that’s all you want
uh-huh it don’t matter what you got in
your bank but if you can control your
own life you happy
that’s the beauty and that’s what
everybody’s mixed up yeah because you
got all this money but if somebody else
is controlling you as soon as we I got
off the phone call with him and then
also when he said it’s not in the
picture now but we think I think it’d be
great if Dallas dance at the end and my
heartbeat went up on the phone and I
started breaking the cold sweat like oh
no I thought that’s not and as soon as I
wouldn’t all no that’s not that the
other other devil in my ear said dare
you do and I just meant of course I
think it’s yes cuz I immediately notice
if you don’t you’re pulsing out dude are
you kidding me you will forever regret
you have to so soon as that got over
that I was like well that’s inevitable
I’m doing it mmm now I got to bust my
ass to go do it the best I can and a lot
of fear that mmm I mean that was yeah
that was some major really good anxiety
and fear and then now we’re saying now
I’m saying by that dumb now everything
my choice is from that phone call long
work anything I was nervous about you
have to go no don’t go all I go meet
midnight yes can I meet him for another
Cory choreographed session 8:00 a.m.
Sunday morning do you got an hour
I’m gonna go send them here my wife’s
over there watching reading something I
understand the mirin I’m gonna practice
as a mood this is really embarrassing
well too bad man do it in the mirror
right now because the less embarrassing
that gets hopefully the more comfortable
you’ll be when you’re out there in front
of 80 people and bunch of cameras and
don’t come up short yo go all the way
you know one way to conceptualize what
makes a good product is you know good
engineering is part of it good design is
part of it but really it’s one way I
think about it at least is maximizing
the probability that someone shows up at
the front door of you know your store or
your website or or whatever it is and
ends up with a solved problem and
oftentimes the best methodology is to
start with the perfect experience just
one person get
right and then figure out how to scale
something great instead of scaling
something not so great and then trying
to prove it that’s really hard I’ve
learned an experience is that you know
if you don’t open up and you don’t
delegate then you’ll kill yourself and
if there’s one thing I’ve managed to
understand is the art of delegation
because if I can pass on you know to
Claire Smith to areum my palate my
understanding my knowledge then grab it
run it and then pass on to your team
don’t hold that inside so the most
important part of getting to a goal is
to start feeling it now is to start
acting as if right if you want to be
that leader if you want to be that
author if you want to be that painter
all it takes is one action and you truly
are in the process of becoming it so
it’s funny that I am literally basically
done with the book and I’m like can I
call myself an author yet I’ve written a
book of course because you have taken
the action you’re doing the actions
there is no final anointing of anyone
there’s no ceremony there’s no fireworks
you just start acting as if and feeling
it and envisioning it and picturing it
and soon enough you become it right so
everybody starts somewhere so whether
you are a famous ballerina or an Olympic
swimmer they all started somewhere they
all had to take that first class they
all had to take that first leap into the
water right and at what point can you
start calling yourself a swimmer a
dancer an author it’s the second that
you start taking action and you start
thinking it and you’re feeling it right
it’s about embodying it so my biggest
tip for you is to start seeing yourself
as that person and start taking the
small actions of being that person that
you want to be that’s the only thing
that is separating you from actually
being it so you have to act as if in
order to really start getting that ball
rolling and all of a sudden you
I was with a bunch of other investors
who I respect and they brought me a deal
and I wanted to be part of it but it
didn’t feel right and I wrote millions
of dollars on that one and it just
didn’t feel right and I lost it all
within two years associate investors
trust I got dinner
absolutely and trust you but what about
you said earlier don’t be emotional and
sometimes the gut know this this is a
barometer of risk it’s something an
internalized for an investor that says I
don’t feel comfortable it’s not about
emotion just don’t write that check that
was recently the first time I didn’t
listen to that and I lost everything so
now my radar is up I listen to my gut
it’s not an emotion it’s an index of
risk and you get it as you age you
become a better investor every year if
only I could live to 200 I’d be really
good if you’re not utilizing an online
community then you’re at a disadvantage
to those who are you can be asking
online communities what they think about
your ideas or if they have any advice
with what you’re working on not only
will you hear from people who are
passionate about the subject but you’ll
be hearing from people all around the
world each with their own experiences
and stories that can help you looks and
lots of companies and why I thought they
don’t succeed over time we’ve had a more
rapid turnover of companies so what did
they fundamentally do wrong like one of
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what is that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it failure is part of life I mean
the difference for me though is I’m like
a failure as a stepping stone to success
like it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna
fail but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes I’ve screwed so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes you know it’s
like here’s what I’ve done I think I
have the ability to influence people
because I talk about my failures I talk
about all the things that messed me up
but I show people that didn’t let it
stop me and you don’t need to stop you
and I think I think that’s really the
secret matter and if everything you
touch was successful
first we got to relate to people as much
oh you’ll be late and also it’s be total
bullsh and everyone know it’s bull and
also you’d be bored silly I mean think
about it if you just said I want this
and happen I want this to happen you
know people don’t value what they don’t
fight for you know it’s like you see
kids sometimes in it you know your
parents will say you’re not gonna value
this if you don’t work for it and your
kid going oh well you just give it to me
but it’s true you know about things
we’ve worked the hardest for we value
the most so I think you know the purpose
of the goal is not getting it anyway the
purpose of goal you know is what who you
become well you becomes gonna make you
happier it’s gonna make you sad
so I’m not looking for an effortless
approach there’s no such thing I find
that levels of success in almost any
industry or area correlate to a person
asking great questions in some cases
they seem absurd in fact the hallmarking
way of great questions is that sound
completely ridiculous so someone might
ask like Peter Thiel why can’t you
achieve your ten-year goals in the next
six months there’s a thought exercise
that’s like–that’s that’s a good
question to answer for yourself and
these types of questions come up
surprisingly often with with very very
impressive folks whether it’s in
business military entertainment or
otherwise and the way you can get better
at questions is by studying interviews
in part so I studied Larry King I
studied Charlie Rose I studied Terry
Gross I studied that that go down the
list
I studied Tony Robbins who does in
person one-on-one interventions at his
events in front of 10,000 5,000 people
and he’s just genius with how he uses
questions to like pattern interrupt and
grab someone’s attention and divert them
in a more productive productive
direction now why is that relevant
relevant because thinking is the process
of asking questions you’re asking
yourself questions then you’re answering
them in your own head so if you get
better at asking other people questions
you get better at asking yourself
questions which means you are
you’re improving your thought
performance and level of thinking many
many kids and many grown-ups do figure
out over time what their passions are
and sometimes we let our I don’t think
it’s that hard I think what happens
though sometimes is that we let our
intellectual selves overrule those
passions and so that’s what needs to be
guarded against so there are a number of
decisions that we make every day and on
a product side there are billion
different features that we could make so
the hard part is really choosing which
ones to focus on which ones to build and
you only have a finite number that you
can’t actually execute on so for us a
lot of it is just listening to the
community and more importantly
understanding you know what features
they’re asking for but why are they
asking for these specific things what’s
the root problem they’re trying to solve
or goal that you’re trying to achieve
and a lot of that is based on actual
behaviors so not just what they say but
what they do and if you’re really trying
to achieve something then so to say hey
here’s my vision and I’d like to say be
obstinate about your vision but be
really flexible about your tactics what
does that mean it’s sort of like think
big act small what that means is it’s
important to have a vision of where
you’re trying to go how you get there is
a series of experiments now you can call
them extraneous when they don’t work but
they’re learning experiments where you
try things see what works try the next
thing don’t solicit feedback on your
product your idea or your business just
for validation purposes be really
careful about that we want to tell the
people that can help move your idea
forward but if you’re just looking to
your friend coworker husband wife for
validation be careful because out of
love and concern a lot of people will
express some
concerns and it can stop a lot of
multi-million dollar ideas right in
their tracks in the beginning I would
say that the lesson learned for me to
anybody else out there interested in
starting a business is please find
something you’re passionate about
because it’s so much work it’s so much
time it’s so much effort but if the
subject matter is something that you you
genuinely love to be involved with it’s
it’s not gonna be that big of a drag and
it’s not gonna be that bit much work
it’s gonna be incredibly exciting and
rewarding because to your point you’ll
feel like you’re living your the life
that you’re meant to live somebody said
to you you’ll have or you’ll be as
successful as you are now what have you
had sent back then I believe you
that’s probable to say because I did
believe I believed in it I had very few
people who told me that I had a small
small small group of people that would
tell me something like that order than
that it was just me telling myself yeah
so if someone came up to me and told me
that all the way back then I’d say
you’re damn right
there’s a lot of conventional wisdom out
there built up over time and built
through all the learnings from all the
companies and this may be fully
applicable to most of the companies out
there but before it’s applied to your
organization I highly recommend that you
question it because it could be
absolutely fatal for your success and so
I think when you are starting a new
business you you don’t want to go after
giant markets you want to go after small
markets and you want to take over those
markets quickly what this all comes down
to is doing something exceptional for
your users whether it’s in community the
hardest thing to do is start you have
all these ideas and everyone has an idea
but it’s really about executing the idea
and building the idea and attracting
other people to help you work on the
idea that is the biggest challenge but
the way to begin is to get the idea out
of your head draw it out you know talk
about it program it if you’re a
programmer or make it if you’re building
something and I find even with myself
that it’s really hard to do a Minimum
Viable Product this minimum that you’re
constantly thinking no no it really has
to have this other partner it really has
to have this and then you over build and
then you have to unbilled and rebuild
which is very disappointing so doing a
Minimum Viable Product is really
important and it’s even more minimum
than you think it is and so when we’re
coming up with ideas you know we always
what kind of new market is is creating
and then also what what part of my day
and in what problem is it solving and so
I’ve gone as far as taking an entire
catalogue of my day from the moment I
like open my eyes and writing down every
single thing I do and then asking myself
like is there something here and so it’s
not just about doing focus groups it’s
not just about you know double-checking
your vision it really is about
integrating this concept of testing our
ideas rigorously through out the product
development process out the marketing
process even as we scale and so when we
see a kid with a lemonade stand it’s
different then when we see a vending
machine selling lemonade even if it’s
exactly the same product because the
story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re two percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world a lot of
times I’ll be a tours at Mile Run or
something like that and I’m all jacked
up body’s broken mines broken spirits
broken I started to say what if I can
pull this off when I first walked into
the Navy SEAL recruiters office he
looked at me and said only been 35
african-americans and seventy years make
it through you know I said to myself
what if I can be the 36th it’s the what
if I can pull off a miracle what if I
can become someone that no one thinks I
can be and just that just means talking
about that I have a hair going up on my
arms because it makes me just like what
if I can be that guy that people who
call nigger and this and that and now
I’m speaking at Toms favorite event you
can’t ever sort of balance two
completely contradictory things as a
means of hedging you have to decide what
are you going to believe in and put
your energy behind that and that’s
that’s the those are the kinds of
strategic decisions and trade-offs that
you make every day as an entrepreneur
and it’s important that you create the
level of clarity and conviction to go
after an opportunity that isn’t hedging
you know lots of different ideas or lots
of different approaches because that’s
the surest way that you’ll never be good
at it sort of anything once you have the
passion anything that you’re passionate
about now if you can look at other
people or other entities or other things
or works of art and you can draw things
from that to help you be better at what
you buy looking for those common
denominators I don’t even know how do I
prepare how do I prepare how do I study
how do I view the game how do you build
your game and my response is much like
the way he builds products and you think
sequentially oh yeah you look at this
the end result of what you want to
create but in order to create that
there’s so many other little things that
go into this massive entity that device
it’s no different than building my
basketball game you start with where you
want your game to be will we make your
game most unstoppable hard to deal with
and now you work backwards from there
and you start building in one piece at a
time one move at a time one counter
there’s a lot of similarities there a
rule of thumb is to only worry about the
next order of magnitude so when you have
100 users worry about what the company
looks like can it survive to a thousand
a thousand ten thousand and so on and so
forth if you’re worrying about the
millionth user and their experience and
how your technology is gonna scale when
you have 100 users you’re you’re pointed
in the wrong direction but we realized
it pays to be a cockroach and by that I
mean it pays just to not stop and just
to not die like we thought you know
everything along the way it tried to
kill us right like all of our friends
were like startups are dumb you’re dumb
your ideas are dumb and we kind of just
looked at all of them and said whatever
and build codecademy so it pays not to
quit today you should think okay my
co-founders do we do we cover a lot of
surface area do we have different skill
sets
and is it somebody that that I trust
fundamentally and that’s those are
really really really important questions
to ask yourself because if so they give
a really strong foundation to go forward
if you’re gonna start your own thing you
know maybe you have a grand grand vision
of like all the different features it’s
gonna have and all the different you
know revenue lines you’re gonna do and
you know keep keep that vision but do
one piece of that first and do it really
really really well it’s so much better
to do a few things well then many things
poorly we get to create any company we
want right we get to create the reason
for its existence we get to create the
rules the game and who we hire and how
we hire them and who can stay and who
can’t stay right it’s beautiful and so I
just would encourage everyone that as we
all contemplate life to try to question
the assumptions that we live by and the
default options that are given to us and
expand our thinking to wonder what we
really can’t do with our lives what I
see right now is people wrap up their
sense of success and identity with their
prowess and fundraising and comparing
themselves against how their peers are
doing I think that’s really the wrong
way to look at things and it leads to
kind of non optimal outcomes for
instance I don’t know if the valuations
that companies are getting today is
necessarily healthy for the company
themselves and for us again you know our
inability to raise capital actually
forced us to be very disciplined in how
we think about the operational metrics
in the company and that’s allowed us to
you know be pretty successful but what
you really need to do is think about
what is the smallest possible test that
I can run for this idea for this concept
for this theory get it out there and get
customers using it because your
customers are gonna be the ones to tell
you if it’s really working or not
try to do something that you would want
to do anyway whether it’s it doesn’t
necessarily have to be a very successful
business because when you do decide to
become an entrepreneur and start a
business chances are it’s not gonna do
it’s not gonna become like a
multi-million dollar business so at
least do something that you love in the
beginning so that even if it fails you’d
still enjoy it I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming what can I
anticipate that other people don’t see
and then you must have the courage of
your convictions to execute the strategy
you want an idea about what you can say
I know it sounds like a bad idea but
here’s specifically why it’s actually a
great one you want to sound crazy but
you want to actually be right compassion
for yourself of course it’s as important
as compassion for others when often I
get asked questions like people who did
something that they now realize realized
was deeply wrong in the past
sometimes people ask questions about
they brought up their children in a way
that they now realize was not very
conscious and so that they may have
caused suffering to their children or
other people find they have caused
suffering to loved ones and they now
realize that what they did was wrong and
again I say this is an example where you
need to be compassionate with yourself
because nobody woman being can act
beyond their level of consciousness so
that was your level of consciousness at
the time and you could not go beyond
that
and again here to make demands upon
yourself up to a point it might be a
good thing to chew if you as long as you
enjoy it it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this there’s something here that’s
not right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing the definition of values
is they’re the behaviors or principles
that you religiously adhere to within
your company
when I say religious I mean that no
amount of data will sway you and it from
from those principles and the degree to
which that you have the courage to
maintain your conviction around those
ideas is the degree to which you’re
going to be successful over the long
term but ultimately the biggest thing
and why I suppose still spend from a
third majority of my time on is hiring
nothing has the impact of getting the
right people around the table and you
can’t manage your way out of a bad team
and so some of the best I got advice I
got was from Paul Graham one of the
investors in stripe who talks a lot
about unscalable strategies for user
acquisition say for example of you
helping each user personally sure that
one scale has agreed to a very large
strata size but when a start-up is just
starting out it really helps you have
because when you’re trying to
differentiate when you’re trying to do
something different there’s going to be
that gut moment that gut sense is this
right is this not right if you’re not if
you’re not having doubt you’re not
pushing the boundaries far enough you
need to focus on solutions not ideas all
of us here are really creative and we
come up with loads of ideas throughout
the game because we become really
excited about that there’s a dude we
should start a company around that but
that’s when you actually go to the other
side where you talk to over you you know
find out what someone actually a problem
a problem that they have and solve that
is is when you know real value comes out
I’m in meetings a lot my Keller gets
very full with those and then at night
after the kids have gone to bed I’m on
email a great deal I get messages during
the day that’s my chance to give long
responses and then over the weekend I
send a lot of mail as well as well I
take two weeks a year to just go off and
read and think where I’m not interrupted
by work or anything else I’m just
solidly trying to think about the future
and people get to send me things to read
as part of that so-called think week so
it’s a nice mix of things about 25% of
the time that I’m out traveling around
meeting with customers Europe Asia and
that sort of helps me think okay do we
have the right priorities what what are
people responding well to and what would
they they like to see us do better go
talk to people who failed at what you’re
doing and who are no longer doing it
there always are those people so you
started to start up you know you look at
the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to
Sounders who have no idea the history of
their own space and there’s some night
there’s some nice naivete to that in the
sense that like oh you’re gonna do that
differently
and and there’s some truth to that but
like when you get down to to making it
work and now you’re into it already
you’ve kind of salus what you’re doing
you have some problems then I’d go talk
to all these people who failed because
you’ll uncover all sorts of interesting
things that you can journey because if
you build something for yourself if you
build something that you love that you
think is sufficiently epic if you make
something that you love there’s probably
not a billion people in the world I’d
love it as well larger more established
entities can’t move as quickly as you
can and success and scale and size all
fight against this and I would encourage
you for the longest possible time as you
sort of start your own companies to look
for ways to stay agile whether it’s in
connection or whether it’s in design
this is our big advantage as a startup
is that we can actually get away with
doing this we can make this the core
part of why we’re doing business it’s so
hard I thought doing this research I
thought going into it there were
authentic people and inauthentic people
who I had I did not find any evidence of
that at all what I found is authenticity
to practice and you choose it every day
sometimes every hour of every day and
it’s a practice it’s not I just wake up
in hamm authentic most startups that
fail do it ultimately because they did
not make something that people wanted
they made something that you know that
they thought people would want
either in denial about it about you know
whether it was actually any good or
somebody else came along and made
something that people wanted even more
so it’s about this movement forward now
what you own not your education or your
pedigree not pile of resources you might
have at hand not your network just going
after this thing and knowing that as you
do that you’ll find what you need you’ll
make your way over around going through
and I think the best entrepreneurs that
I’ve met are able to do that because
they have this strong vision and they
know that it’s worth it to keep moving
forward if you’re gonna have a breakout
startup you’ve really got to think about
how you can innovate on distribution not
just fondant right and the biggest
mistake I see these days that I see
brilliant startup founders who are
brilliant product people and they’ve
really thought about their product but
haven’t really thought about how they’re
gonna make it grow and then they launch
their product and it’s like crickets
chirping no one no one’s using it and
they’re kind of flummoxed as to what to
do because they’ve never really spent
time thinking about it and they just
kind of assume that if you build a good
product everyone’s gonna find it and the
reality is it’s a big web out there and
that’s absolutely true
the beauty of failing is if you’re open
to admitting the failure and learning
from it you probably won’t fail again in
that one department and you’ll know what
to expect next time and that just makes
you stronger and and more accurate with
the risks that you take from the time I
was seven years old every Saturday I
would go for four hours of acting class
every Saturday whoa and I loved it I
just left it till the point with all the
kids graduated and went on to this other
stuff and I started doing adult acting
classes and then I was in the commercial
classes and then I loved like the hair
and makeup classes and just everything I
just couldn’t get enough and you know
what everybody wants to hear what they
already believe to be true
and so the last thing they want to hear
is an original idea that contradicts
their belief system so it’s very hard to
even bring that kind of stuff up but
those are the things those are the only
things things that you believe
that everybody around you doesn’t
believe when you’re right that create
real value in the world everything else
people already know there’s no value
created it’s just business as usual so
it’s so important to think for yourself
I do believe that organizations human
organizations are inherently unstable
they will fall over and you have to work
to keep them upright but they fall
slowly most people don’t notice it they
let their success they blind them they
don’t see it falling over the following
takes place law but the collapse is
quick you have to do constant assessment
you have to look for the hard truths
it’s not necessarily about the the exit
or the outcome it’s it’s about the
journey so it’s for me it’s just I think
you just you just need to enjoy that
aspect of it it’s you know because it’s
not an always an easy ride it’s a lot of
ups and downs along the way but as long
as you’re personally fulfilled by that
experience and genuinely enjoy what you
do then it makes it worthwhile don’t
necessarily think that you have to have
the home run in the huge Apple Computer
on your first start I spent a long time
in my life with skills just building
little devices for fun for fun is one of
the key things because that drives you
to think and think and think and make it
better and better and better than you
ever would if you’re doing it for a
company build things at first for
yourself that you would want if you’re
not coming up with ten ideas a day
that’s why I have this thing I’m not
coming up when I’m filling up this page
every single day then my idea muscle
will atrophy and I started this in 2001
and I still do it every single day like
you have to come up with ideas every
single day or the idea muscle atrophies
the good news is after about six months
of doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any so many things
go wrong when you’re starting a company
and often I think people ask you know
what mistakes
should you avoid making and you know my
answer the question is don’t even bother
trying to avoid mistakes because you’re
going to make tons of mistakes right and
the
the important thing is actually learning
quickly from whatever mistakes you make
and not giving up right and I mean there
are things every single year of
Facebook’s existence that could have
killed us are made it so that it just
seemed like moving forward and making a
lot of progress just seemed intractable
but you just kind of bounce back and you
learn and nothing is impossible you just
have to kind of keep running through the
walls you will already know who you are
and that piece that piece that we’re
after lies somewhere beyond personality
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this world don’t let
anything stand in the way of the light
that shines through this form risk being
seen in all of your glory try and be
decisive I try and even if I don’t know
what the hell I’m doing I try to be
decisive because I think it’s very
comforting and reassuring and important
to the people that work with you to feel
that whoever is in charge knows what
they’re doing and knows what they’re
thinking and that if it’s a yes it’s a
yes and it’s a no it’s a no I mean I
don’t think of myself as a boss I mean I
I think of myself as someone who’s
giving direction and guidance and vice
versa you’re really trying to solve a
new problem in a different way you have
to come to problems with beginner’s mind
right not knowing something can be a
very powerful tool in to accomplishing
it because you don’t know that it’s not
possible that’s what doing a startup is
not realizing that something is
impossible in doing it anyway
how do you think about making a decision
when everyone tells you this is a crazy
idea where do you get the internal
strength to do that well first of all
I’d say I actually think I feel feel
fair quite strongly so it’s not as
though I just have the absence of fear
I’ve I feel it quite strongly but there
were times when if something is
important enough you believe in it
enough that you do you do it in spite of
the fear so speaking of important things
like people shouldn’t think III I should
think well I feel fear about this and
therefore I shouldn’t do it it’s normal
to be to feel fear like
definitely something mentally wrong you
shouldn’t feel fair so you just feel it
and let the importance of it anyway yeah
you know actually we’re something that
can be helpful as fatalism some degree
if you just think if you just accept the
probabilities then that diminishes fair
so my starting SpaceX I thought the odds
of success were less than 10% and I just
accepted that actually probably I would
just lose lose everything but that maybe
would make some progress if we could
just move the ball forward even if we
died maybe some other company could pick
up the baton and move and keep moving it
forward so that we still do some good
yeah same with Tesla I thought your odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low so just go and do it
try learn from it you know you’ll fail
at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who you may respect and
who you believe know what they’re
talking about don’t let them tell you it
can’t be done because often they will
tell you it can’t be done and it’s just
because you don’t have the courage to try it
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