I prevent failure and I’d love for you
to spend that same energy going how
could I ensure that I soar you’re not
ever condemned or sentenced to making
the same choice over and over and over
again every day every moment you have a
new opportunity to make a new choice who
more deserves to be loved and honored
need motivation watch a top-10 of belief
nation what’s up at seven my one word is
believe and I believe in you I believe
you have an amazing gift inside you that
I want to see exploded onto the world so
let’s get your motivation to attend and
get you believing in you grab a snack
and chew in today’s lessons from a woman
who went from being a single mother on
government assistance with less than $12
in her bank account to becoming a
millionaire entrepreneur who has
inspired millions of people she’s
listening and here’s my take on her top
alright let’s kick things up with rule
number one shift your energy we spend so
much time and energy trying to prevent
ourselves from falling we spend so much
energy trying to prevent a failure we
spend so much energy making sure we’re
safe and if we spent 70% of that energy
exploring how we can soar exploring how
we can play bigger exploring how we can
make memories that we absolutely will be
excited to tell when we’re eighty-five
years old sitting in our favorite
rocking chair if we spent forty percent
fifty percent of that same energy how
would our lives look differently I’m not
saying be reckless I’m not saying do it
without a plan what I am saying is so
many times I get the question how do I
prevent failure and I’d love for you to
spend that same energy going how could I
ensure that I soar how can I ensure that
I live the life that I want to tell
people about that I write the story
that’s gonna be really really good to
read so number one is shift your energy
on what you want to create versus what
you want to prevent because energy grows
where energy goes if you’ve looked at
several episodes you’ve probably heard
me say that before not because I’ve run
out of content but because I want to
keep saying it because repetition is not
the mother and father of learning
repetition is the mother father sister
brother aunt and uncle and second cousin
of learning so I’m going to keep telling
you this that energy grows where energy
goes so while we want to mitigate and
reduce our risk of falling reduce our
risk of failure we want to spend our
dominant energy on creating possibility
and what we want to run toward now I say
that I say that from lessons learned not
just as a teacher but because I for many
years in the early part of my career
unbeknownst to me unconsciously I wasn’t
running toward possibility I was trying
to outrun
eleven dollars and 42 cents in the bank
like I had in 1994 and so I know that
once I was able to get far enough away
from that experience I start losing
motivation I stopped running as fast I
didn’t know it I didn’t know why it’s
because I knew I wasn’t threatened by
ever seeing $11 and 42 cents again and
then I brought my motivation was gone I
was nervous for about a year I was still
in motion still you know generating a
lot of business a lot of buzz but
internally I wasn’t driven the same way
until I shifted my energy and said what
am i running toward the first answer was
I don’t know cuz I’ve been trying to
outrun something so long but I wasn’t
looking forward really looking for like
horizon for like up for it I may have
been looking at the next goal for the
next target for but I wasn’t looking at
horizon something so big it would take
me ten years to get there it would take
me 15 years to get there and so number
one let’s create a big bodacious like
Yummie in five years I want to be here
in ten years I want to have this let’s
create something to run toward that
makes your knees knock a bit then it
stretches you it doesn’t stress you it
stretches you rule number two live in
alignment of your purpose I love the
phrase willpower but willpower isn’t
something you conjure up willpower isn’t
something you drink willpower isn’t
something you download from Google what
you’re talking about is how do I make
the choices that are in alignment with
my highest purpose and my highest vision
for myself that’s what you really want
to ask see your life is a physical
manifestation of the choices that you
made up into this moment I’m gonna say
that again cuz that gets a little deep
and that can go over some people’s head
that can hit you sometimes right between
the eyes and you got to hear the second
time
here goes your life right now as it
exists today your finances your weight
your relationships your career your
self-esteem your self-image your
spiritual awareness all of that is a
result of the choices that you’ve made
up into this moment big and small and
just so you know your life the way it
appears today is not a result of a few
big choices even though that’s the thing
that we look back on we go up I
shouldn’t have moved out of the state oh
I shouldn’t I got into that relationship
up
I shouldn’t have we look at the big
things well I’m here to disrupt that
mindset a bit your life experience right
now is not so much a result of your big
choices why those impact you it’s really
a result of a bunch of small little
choices made consistently over a long
period of time because those are the
habits and the behaviors that you’ve
gotten into so we can talk about
willpower and how do I build willpower
as if it’s something that you can flex
in the gym or something you can do
crunches or abs or triceps and build but
it’s not the question you should ask the
answer you should be seeking is what
does it take to make my choices become
an alignment with the life that I say I
want to live
now when you say choices it makes it
really sobering because even when you
choose to sit down on yourself it was a
choice so I ask you in this moment what
will it take you to decide to make the
choice today don’t even think about
tomorrow don’t think about next week but
to make the choice today that’s in
alignment with your health goals make a
choice today that’s in alignment with
your financial goals it’s the small
things it’s the extra visit to Starbucks
it’s the extra biscuit it’s the getting
up early it’s 10 more crunches it’s
doing squats every time you go to the
bathroom at least that’s what I do I do
10 I do 10 every time I go to the
restroom I’m already there I’m just
gonna keep on going just because I want
to stand alignment with my goal and my
goal is to have
a body that at least creates a
double-take or our triple date maybe I
don’t know I wanted to create a body
that is in alignment with my goal I want
to be able to go paintballing with my
nephews and my son the way I just did
recently I want to be able to go jet
skiing so when I look at my life and my
lifestyle that I want to maintain it
requires me to hike a little longer it
requires me to eat more vegetables and
protein it requires me my choice of how
I want to live requires my alignment and
what I put in my body or how I stay
active in my body so when I date I don’t
I don’t do dinner dates I’m not
interested in doing dinner dates you
want to date me let’s go on a hike let’s
go skating ice skating roller skating is
going to walk
I want active dates in my dating
experience because that’s an alignment
with my life’s purpose so what are you
choosing let’s not even look at
willpower let’s look at choices because
choice is something you can control in
every single moment and the choice you
made yesterday if it wasn’t alignment
with your greatest goal and your highest
purpose
okay yesterday’s yesterday make a new
choice today you’re not ever condemned
or sentenced to making the same choice
over and over and over again every day
every moment you have a new opportunity
to make a new choice rule number three
stay in the moment I know as an
entrepreneur you know there’s so many
years where I worked the day away the
night away but way beyond working the
damn the night away I worked memories
away I worked parts of my life away
I worked sacred moments away I want to
warn you I want to warn you about
working so hard to create an amazing
future that you miss a million nails so
busy creating that future where your
children or your family or your parents
or your significant other will have ever
everything they want in the moment
you’re robbing them from the one thing
they need you your time I know that our
intentions are good and I say ours
because I’m right there with you
I would grind every day in my walk-in
closet I transformed my walk-in closet
until my office I would walk my son to
school come back put my head down my
elbows up and I would come up for air
just enough to walk the school pick in
love bring him back fix him a fast lunch
I go back down and then I come back up
at dinnertime and then I go back down
and I did it for a year after year after
year after year and I looked up and I
forgot the things I like I forgot the
the excursions that I want to go and I
forgot my favorite food because my
favorite food was whatever was fastest
and quickest and can get me back to work
I thought that the sacrifice was okay
that it’s okay to sacrifice at this
level and wow there is a necessary
sacrifice there is a necessary level of
inconvenience there also is a required
and oh by all means a desired amount of
memories that you want to make sure you
make now I wrote my book abundance now
and I remember having conversations with
the publishers and others about the now
you know because whether it was abundant
life or abundance and prosperity or
abundance beyond the secret another
title it was important for me to write
abundance now because there’s nothing
more valuable than your now so yes I’m
going to encourage you to work hard I’m
going to encourage you to grind
but I’m gonna remind you that when
you’re sitting in your rocking chair and
there’s nothing else for you to do you
have played full-out you’ve made all the
money you’re going to make you’ve bought
all the properties you’re gonna buy
you’ve done all the business you can do
and you’ve attended all the meetings
there are to attend and all that’s left
to do now is to sit inside your memories
you’re gonna want to have a lot of
really great memories rule number four
my personal favorite don’t live under
the label we so often we wear labels
there’s a label that’s to me there’s
several labels I’m an african-american
woman I’m a single mom you know I’m a CE
o I’m a daughter there’s so many labels
to me but I don’t live under the label I
allow the label to exist but it doesn’t
define me and so I invite you if you are
a woman you know there’s so many men
watching my channel I love you I want
you to always come you’re always welcome
this is your home but to my sisters I
invite you don’t feel like life is
harder for you because you’re a woman
don’t feel like you have to work harder
because your woman work hard just work
hard I never looked at and while working
harder as a woman and my working harder
as a black person now are there
inequities absolutely I am NOT blind to
that but like I said in the previous
episode energy grows or energy goals am
I gonna give the inequities energy or am
I gonna give the possibility energy and
I’m not saying that everything’s
hunky-dory and all things are right no
there’s some wrongs that really need to
be corrected but here’s what I won’t do
I won’t wear a label and walk in a room
living under that label wondering how
you’re going to treat me because of that
label people used to ask Lisa how did
you get on the main stage with people
like Tony Robbins and and Jack Canfield
and people like you know they rattle off
all these older white men are very
successful white speakers in the
industry and they say
get on stage with them as a black woman
or how did you get on stage with him as
a woman and I go I didn’t get on stage
with him as a woman I got on stage with
them as a badass speaker I got on stage
with them as someone who can bring value
to the audience I got on stage with them
because I’m a change agent
so can you live through the results that
you produce in the world can you allow
that to define you like this is the bag
that you were given a woman a man black
white Indian Asian the religion you were
born into the economic status should
grew up under all of those things are
boxes that someone else said let’s drop
you in it and then you have to choose if
you’re gonna stay in it I am too big to
be defined by a box any box any label of
any size why don’t you join that so
don’t be successful as a woman be
successful
don’t be successful as a man be
successful
don’t be loving and giving as a black
person or white person or Asian person
be loving and giving just be and then be
become contagious for someone else to
want to be that way because they crossed
your path rule number five do what you
love to do so many times we’ve become so
dutiful working and being diligent and
being responsible and being on point
that we forgot to do the things that
bring us joy you know as I was
developing my business I thought I was
doing the thing that I love the most
which was transforming lives and talking
to teens and inspiring teens and spiring
adults but I forgot that I loved to
dance
I forgot that I love to hang out I
forgot that I love to date
I forgot about so many things so I
traded one love for all these other
little things and I was being
responsible as a
mom responsible as a business owner
responsible as a daughter and yet my
norm had become filled with all the
dutiful things in my life and not the
things that necessarily brought me the
most joy while my family brings me great
joy my work bring brings me great joy
there was a part of me that was slowly
dying away just because it was unfair so
let’s make a list of what do you love to
do what do you love to do and then let’s
set an intention that don’t try to do it
all the time I think we go to the
extremes once a week I’m gonna do this
well you can’t go from zero to once a
week but start from zero from once a
month and so your norm is whatever you
decided to be you aren’t the designer of
your destiny and you are the author of
your autobiography and no one can write
your story but you life isn’t happening
to you you’re co-creating you are the
main character you you wrote the
screenplay this is your life and how you
look at it and the lenses that you look
at your life through has everything to
do with how much you enjoy it or not
rule number six give yourself permission
to fail
so often you don’t move forward because
you’re keeping such score from what
didn’t work in the past you are holding
yourself hostage to 1997 to 2005 you’re
holding yourself hostage in love to that
past relationship that didn’t work or
you’re holding yourself in hostage in
business to the money that you may have
thought you wasted or the deal that went
bad and so one of the ways that I give
myself permission for two levels
permission to have lived a life that has
some beautiful experiences and some
really tangy lessons I mean they’re
spicy they hurt they’re painful when I
give myself permission to have had that
I also give myself permission to keep
leaping give myself permission to keep
dreaming give myself permission to keep
learning how to get it right
learning how to love the unlovable
forgive what seems to be the
unforgivable to leap again even while I
still have a bandage on my chin from the
time I fell I still get to lead someone
invite you if you fall fall catch your
breath
put a bandage on it whether you fail
financially you fail physically with
health and wellness you felt spiritually
you fell emotionally you felt in a
relationship okay a part of flying is
understanding what the distinction
between flying and falling and the only
way you understand the distinction is
that you experience full life when you
experience full life it’s like this life
isn’t just flatline is not just like
this you make your Heights feel better
because you understand this was a
failure and and what I mean by a failure
is this taught me a lesson this stung
this every single failure has a lesson
in it to me a failure is a lesson
trapped in some sticky icky paper that
stung that hurt and so give yourself
permission give yourself permission to
play big to be nervous to fall down to
sit down for a minute just don’t take up
real estate in the sitting down don’t
take up real estate in the analyzing
don’t take some don’t take up real
estate in the preparation you’ve been
getting prepared for a long time for
something trust that you’ll either fly
if you leap right now or your fall if
you leave right now and if you fly
you’ll understand what soaring feels
like and if you fall you’ll understand
what getting up feels like either way
you’re okay that’s how I play big with
my knees knocking that’s how I play big
even when there’s something in my in my
consciousness reminding me of the last
time I did something like this and it
didn’t quite work out and I still play
big because I gave myself I give myself
I constantly give myself permission to
totally win and soar are totally falling
it up
and that way there’s nothing to truly be
afraid of remember this is a dialogue
not a monologue which means we’re in a
dynamic conversation versus me just
entertaining you rule number seven ask
better questions you know I’ve worked
with thousands hundreds of thousands of
people and Trust is always at the top of
the list
coach show me how to trust again coach
what happens when I’ve been betrayed
coach show me how to trust myself again
Trust is a gift and when our trust is
violated by any form we feel like a
little bit of it’s been chipped away but
here’s what I want to let you know Trust
is something that can be restored and
Trust is something that people can earn
and Trust is something that you have
enough of it always hurts my heart when
I hear someone say I don’t trust I don’t
trust because what I know is you’re not
trusting your future something or
someone in your future because of
something that happened in your past and
in so many ways you’re making your next
pay for your ex you’re making your
future pay for your past you’re making
that unexperienced moment pay for that
past experience more deserves to be
loved and honored and celebrated to full
capacity than you and if you don’t stick
your feet fully in then you can’t fully
feel submerged and the possibility is
there a chance that this person that
you’re in this relationship with now
this friendship without this business
appointment with now this this community
relationship now is there a chance that
they may not play full out and honor you
yes but here’s what I know you don’t
you don’t want to have a life of saying
I played halfway I stuck my toe in
instead of jumping in so you want to do
your due diligence one of the things I
learned from my years of living trusting
being betrayed hurting crying praying
laughing getting back up and being
committed to love again trust again
was that anytime that I felt betrayed
anytime that I felt like someone didn’t
honor me there was a part that I played
in that experience there was a better
question that I could have asked sooner
there was a clear line that I could have
drawn way deeper in the sand there was a
notice of intuition or there was a tap
on the shoulder that I was the alarm
clock was going off there was something
that I could have seen said or done that
I was a viable part of this equation
now I own the part that’s mine and I own
the part that’s not mine but how I bring
that forward and how I recommend you
bring it forward is ask better questions
now you’re not the same person you were
three years ago five years ago ten years
ago you’re not the same person you were
last year ask a better question and
you’ll get a better answer rule number
eight have a no matter what attitude it
began to shift from me when I move from
optional to non-negotiable when I move
from I really really want this to hold
on this is non-negotiable it’s time for
me to move from I’d like it to happen to
no matter what it has to happen no
matter what
Jelani has to have the type of
opportunities that normally an
african-american male child from South
Central LA whose father went to prison
when he was eight months old wouldn’t
have CI had to become non negotiable
that Jelani has a breathtaking future I
had to become non-negotiable and say no
matter what that I was gonna get off
government assistance and not only was I
gonna get off government assistance that
I was gonna create a healthy lifestyle
around money finances and fiscal success
and responsibilities I had to say no
matter what around creating the life
that I love where I can travel the world
and inspire people I had to say no
matter what around keeping my family
intact and keeping my relationships
intact while I did that I had to say no
matter what around my health and my
wellness and bringing back physical
prosperity to my life into my body
nothing happened and so I went from
optional to non-negotiable to no matter
what when I came to no matter what
that’s when the mountain if it was in
front of me it had to bow down and have
to move in so I believe that you’re in
the exact same place but as you move
into next year you’re at a no matter
what time you’re at a non-negotiable
time you’re at a move every other option
off the table rule number nine fake it
until you make it I know the whole fake
it till you make it well I don’t want to
fake it forever
I have no interest in faking it forever
but I do want to play like I’m
courageous enough until my courage
appears I want to pretend like I’m not
afraid until I’m not afraid
I want to fake like I know how to do
this business I know how to surrender to
this love and while pursuing the ability
to know how to do this business pursue
the understanding of knowing how to
surrender to love I don’t think there’s
a place in your life that when you’re
playing bigger than you’ve played before
that you won’t feel nervous you won’t
feel a little afraid and at times you
won’t have a sense of the imposter
syndrome what if what if you’re not an
imposter and the career you’re in you’re
not an imposter in the relationship
you’re not imposter and the
entrepreneurial business what if what if
you’re just learning what if you
visualize the seven-foot-tall you and
the five eight six one six two five two
version of you it’s still tippy-toe
undergrow to that individual and rule
number ten the last one before a very
special bonus clip elevate your action
you are not a victim to anything there
is not something that’s been bestowed
upon your family that generationally has
to occur over and over and over again
there are habits
there are awareness and there are
actions and when you change your habits
expand your awareness and elevate your
action you can change a curse into a
now I’ve got a very special bonus clip
with Lisa on how to live like you have
the breakthrough but before that I want
to know what did you learn from this
video what immediate action are you
going to take after watching this video
that you can apply somehow to your life
or your business put it in the comments
below when you write it down it’s much
more likely to actually happen than just
thinking about it so put it in the
comments thank you guys so much for
watching I believe in you I hope you
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love I’ll
Andrea I love what you said you said
quote unquote fear has crippled me from
taking the steps for years its crippled
me fear of failure and fear of success
I’ve come to understand that I hold on
to fear because of the story the story
that I’ve been telling myself and you
said fear is my familiar I love the
language you’re using Andrea I can tell
that you’re in the work I can tell that
you’re taking on some new conversation
you said fear is my familiar fear is my
comfort zone then you went on to say
quote unquote I need to push through and
get uncomfortable yes yes yes you said
I’m more committed to being
uncomfortable uncomfortable has a
greater commitment from me than my fears
hashtag keep pushing Andrea I love you
sis
absolutely and just know when you make
those needlepoint moves of awareness
those needlepoint moves of I hop all you
have to do is live like you already got
the AHA live like you got the Bol
the breakthrough out loud because if you
stop living like you got it you’ll have
to get the lesson again raise your
standard Apple at the core its core
value is that that people need passion
and not one drop of my self-worth
depends on your acceptance of me
I don’t ever give up I’d have to be
dead or completely incapacitated hey
believe nation if you want to see my
all-time favorite top ten rows of
success I have a very special secret
video for you these are the individual
clips that I have personally learned the
most from and applied to my life and my
business check the link in description for details