and you know people are very very very
very tough and it turns out that if you
face things it turns out that if you
face things that you can put up with a
lot more than you think you can put up
with and you can do it without becoming
corrupted and she did recover quite
quite fully and much as a consequence of
her own Nationals because she figured
out what was wrong with her and then
took the necessary steps to fix it which
is nothing short of a bloody miracle as
far as I’m concerned and anyway as part
of the the cap myth is I actually start
by talking about our dog who actually
died about a year ago but he’s still
alive in the book I you know I let
people know because dog lovers love dogs
and if you love cats then they think you
don’t like dogs and they don’t like you
so I also point out at the beginning of
the chapter that you know if you want to
pet a dog on the street that’s okay too
so you don’t have to get up in arms
about it but but the idea is that you
know you have to be alert when you’re
suffering you have to be alert to the
beauty in life
the unexpected beauty in life and that’s
kind of what I was trying to get across
with the idea of the cow there’s this
cat that lives across the street from us
called ginger and Ginger’s a Siamese cat
and cats really aren’t domesticated a
technically speaking they’re still wild
animals but they kind of like people god
only knows why but they do you know and
so ginger will come wandering over and
our dog looks at her but they’re friends
and she rolls over on his back and
Siegel used to you know nose or a bit
and and then she’d kind of mosey over
and let you pet her if she was feeling
like it’s out day and you know you have
to look for those little bit of that
little bit of sparkling crystal in the
darkness when things are bad you have to
look and see where things are still
beautiful and where there’s still
something that’s sustaining and you know
you narrow your timeframe and you’d be
grateful for what you have and that can
get you through some very dark times and
maybe even successfully if you’re lucky
but even if unsuccessfully then maybe
it’s only tragic and not absolute hell
and you can do that you know in the
worst situation you can make it only
tragic and not held and there’s a big
gap between tragedy and hell you know
there’s nothing worse at a deathbed than
to see the people there fighting the
death is bad enough but you can take
that as terrible as it is and make it
into something that’s absolutely
unbearable and maybe I think and this is
sort of what I closed the book with is
this idea is that if we didn’t all
attempt to make terrible things even
worse than they are then maybe we could
tolerate the terrible things that we
have to put up with in order to exist
and maybe we could make the world into a
better place you know and it’s what we
should be doing and what we could be
doing because we don’t have anything
better to do and that’s what the book is
about and that’s the end of 12 rules for
life every time you learn something you
learn because something you did didn’t
work and that exposes you to the part of
the world that you don’t understand
every time you’re exposed to part of the
world that you don’t understand you have
the possibility of rebuilding the
structures that you use to interpret the
world that’s often why it’s more
important to notice that you’re wrong
than it is to prove that you’re right
one of the things that you’re supposed
to learn in university is precisely that
it might be useful to listen to people
that annoy you on the off chance that
they know something that if they tell
you you can use instead of dying talking
to people who agree with what you say is
like walking around in a desert you
already know everything that they say
the reason you’re associating with them
in that situation is so that they never
say anything that challenges you because
you’re afraid that if you go outside of
what you understand that you won’t be
able to tolerate the chaos but it isn’t
the case people have an unbelievable
capacity to face and overcome things
they don’t understand and not only that
that’s essentially what gives life its
meaning the Buddhists say life is
suffering and you think well if that’s
the case why bother with it and people
do ask that question and they ask it in
ways that result in their own
destruction and worse in the destruction
of others so for example people who
become particularly cruel
particularly in a genocidal manner are
more than willing to dispense with as
many human beings as that they can
possibly train their sights on because
they’re so disgusted by the nature of
human limitation that they’d rather
eradicate it and lots of people become
suicidal because they can’t bear the
conditions of their own existence and
suffering is real and it’s inescapable
so the question is what do you do about
it people do get what they want is
because they don’t actually figure out
what it is and the probability that
you’re going to get what would be good
for you let’s say which would even be
better than what you want right because
you know you might be what wrong about
what you want easily but maybe you could
get what would really be good for you
well why don’t you well because you
don’t try you don’t think okay here’s
what I would like if I could have it and
and I don’t mean I don’t mean in a way
that you manipulate the world to force
it to deliver you goods for status or
something like that that isn’t what I
mean I mean something like imagine that
you were taking care of yourself like
you were someone you actually cared for
and then you thought okay I’m caring for
this person I would like things to go as
well for them as possible
what would their life have to be like in
order for that to be the case what
people don’t do that they don’t sit down
and think alright you know let’s let’s
figure it out you’ve got a life it’s
hard obviously it’s like three years
from now you can have what you need you
got to be careful about it you can’t
have everything you can have what would
be good for you but you have to figure
out what it is and then you have to aim
at it well my experience with people as
being is if they figure out what it is
that would be good for them and then
they aim at it then they get it and it’s
tan idea about what would be good for
you and then you take ten steps towards
that and you find out that your
formulation was a bit off and so you
have to reformulate your goal you know
you’re kind of going like this as you
move towards the goal but a huge part of
the reason that people fail is because
they don’t ever set up the criteria for
success and so since success is a very
narrow
line and very unlikely the probability
that you’re going to stumble on it
randomly is zero and so there’s a
proposition here in the proposition is
if you actually want something you can
have it now the question then would be
well what do you mean by actually want
and the answer is that you reorient your
life in every possible way to make the
probability that that will occur as
certain as possible and that’s a
sacrificial idea right it’s like you
don’t get everything obviously you
obviously but maybe you can have what
you need and maybe all you have to do to
get it is ask but asking isn’t a whim or
today’s wish it’s like you have to be
deadly serious about it you have to
think okay like I’m taking stock of
myself and if I was going to live
properly in the world and I was going to
set myself up such that being would
justify itself in my estimation and I
don’t mean as a harsh judge exactly what
is it that I would aim at sit on your
bed one day and ask yourself what’s what
remarkably stupid things am i doing on a
regular basis to absolutely screw up my
life and if you actually ask that
question but you have to want to know
the answer right because that’s actually
what asking the question means it
doesn’t mean just mouthing the words it
means you have to decide that you want
to know you’ll figure that’s out so fast
it’ll make your hair curl it’s not an
accident that the axiomatic Western
individual is someone who was unfairly
nailed to a cross and tortured it’s like
yes right exactly so what do you do
about that well I thought about that for
a long time too it’s like well you don’t
get together in a damn mob because all
that does is allow you to be as horrible
as you could possibly imagine and suffer
from none of the consequences that’s a
bad idea
so how about we don’t do that
well there’s a deep idea in the West too
it’s like pick up your damn suffering
and bear it and try to be a good person
so you don’t make it worse well that’s a
truth you know I read a lot about the
terrible things that people have done to
each other you just cannot even imagine
it it’s so awful so you don’t want to be
someone like that no do you have a
reason to be yes you have a lots of
reasons to be god there’s reasons to be
resentful about your existence everyone
you know is gonna die you know you too
and there’s gonna be a fair bit of pain
along the way and lots of it’s gonna be
unfair it’s like yeah no wonder you’re
resentful
it’s like act it out and see what
happens you make everything you’re
complaining about infinitely worse
there’s this idea that hell is a
bottomless pit and that’s because no
matter how bad is some stupid son of a
bitch like you could figure out a way to
make it a lot worse so you think well
what do you do about that
well you accept it that’s what life is
like it’s suffering that’s what the
religious people have always said life
is suffering yes
well who wants to admit that well just
think about it well so what do you do in
the face of that suffering try to reduce
it start with yourself what good are you
get yourself together for Christ’s sake
so that when your father dies you’re not
whining away in a corner and you can
help plan the funeral and you can stand
up solidly so that people can rely on
you that’s better
don’t be a damn victim of course you’re
a victim Jesus obviously put yourself
together and then maybe if you put
yourself together you know how to do
that you know what’s wrong with you if
you’ll admit it you know there’s a few
things you could like polish up a little
bit that you might even be able to
manage in your insufficient present
condition and so you might shine
yourself up a little bit and then your
eyes will be a little more open then you
can shine yourself up a little bit more
and then maybe you could bring your
family together instead of having them
either
faithful spiteful neurotic infighting
batch that you’re doomed to spend
Christmas with so then you fix yourself
up a little bit kind of humbly because
you know God
you’re a fixer-upper if there ever was
one and then you got to figure out well
can you figure out how to make peace
with your idiot brother and probably not
because he’s just as dumb as you so the
how the hell are you gonna manage that
and so then you’ve maybe you get
somewhere that way and your family sort
of functioning and you find out well
that kind of relieved a little bit of
suffering although it reduced the
opportunities for spiteful revenge and
that’s kind of a pain in the neck and so
then you get your family together a
little bit and you’re a little clued in
then at least a bit because you’ve done
something difficult that’s actually
difficult you’re the wiser and so then
maybe you could put a tentative finger
out beyond the family and try to change
some little thing without wrecking it
it’s like our society is complex and we
teach our students that they could just
fix it it’s like go fix a military
helicopter see how far you get with that
it’s like you’re going to get to do
you’re like a chimp with a wrench
whack whoa look it’s better it’s like no
it’s not better things are complicated
and to fix things is really hard and you
have to be like a golden tool to fix
things and you’re not so and that’s the
other message of the West it’s like how
do you overcome the suffering of the of
life and I’m not saying it’s only the
message of the West how do you overcome
the suffering of life is be a better
person that’s how you do it well that’s
hard it takes responsibility and I think
you know if you said to someone you want
to have a meaningful life everything you
do matters that’s the definition of a
meaningful life but everything you do
matters it’s gonna have to carry that
with you or do you want to just forget
about the whole meaning thing and then
you don’t have any responsibility
because who the hell cares and you can
wander through life doing whatever you
want gratifying impulsive desires for
how well useful that’s going to be and
you’re stuck in meaninglessness but you
don’t have any responsibilities which
one do you want
well ask yourself which one are you
pursuing and you’ll find very rapidly
that it isn’t the majority of your soul
that’s pursuing the whole meaning thing
because well look what you have to do to
do that you have to take on the fact
that life is suffering you have put
yourself together in the face of that
well that’s hard Christ it’s amazing
people can even do it I’m stunned every
day when I go outside and it isn’t a
riot with everything burning because
really God you talk to people it’s like
I knew this guy he’d been in a
motorcycle accident and it really ruined
him and he was like a linesman you know
working on the power and he was working
with someone who had Parkinson’s disease
and they had complementary inadequacies
and so two of them could do the job of
one person and so they’re out there
fixing power lines in the freezing cold
despite the fact that one was
three-quarters wrecked with a motorcycle
accident the other one had Parkinson’s
it’s like that’s how our civilization
works it’s like there’s all these ruined
people out there they’ve got problems
like you can’t believe off they go to
work and do things they don’t even like
and look the lights are on my god it’s
unbelievable it’s it’s a miracle it’s a
miracle and we’re so ungrateful college
students the postmodern types they’re so
ungrateful
you know they don’t know that they’re
surrounded by it just a bloody miracle
it’s a miracle that all this stuff works
but all you crazy chimpanzees that don’t
know each other can sit in the same room
for two hours sweltering away without
tearing each other apart
anyways so what happened while I made
some videos and I got to the bottom of
some things at least as far as I can
tell so I told you what the bottom is
and then I got this idea about what you
might do about it
which isn’t my idea it’s like it’s not
my idea it’s an old old old old idea
it’s far older than Christianity it’s
old it’s the oldest story of mankind get
yourself together
transcend your suffering see if you can
be some kind of hero make the suffering
in the world less well that’s the way
forward as far as I can tell if there is
any way forward final rule
it’s called pedak out when you encounter
one on the street and it’s it’s a very
it’s the most personal chapter in the
book it’s a lot about my daughter and my
daughter was very ill when she was well
when she was a kid but particularly when
she was a teenager she had a very
terrible time of it
she had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis
and when she was between the ages of 14
and 16 at first destroyed her hip which
had to be replaced and then it destroyed
the ankle on her other leg which had to
be replaced and she walked around for
two years on broken legs and she was
taking massive doses of opiates and
could hardly stay awake and like and she
had this advanced autoimmune disease
which produced all sorts of other
symptoms that were just as bad as the
joint degeneration but which are harder
to describe and so it’s just bloody
brutal you know and as a test of your
faith there’s almost nothing that’s more
direct than a serious illness inflicted
upon an innocent child right and so the
chapter is a meditation on that and also
on but what to do in a situation like
that because everyone is going to have a
situation like that in some sense you
know because you’ll be faced with
illness and the people that you love and
in crisis and so it’s a just it’s a
practical guide to coping with those
sorts of things like and one of the
things you do when you’re overwhelmed by
crisis is you shorten your time frame
you know it’s like you can’t think about
next month maybe you can’t even bloody
well think about next week or maybe not
even tomorrow you know because now is
just so
overwhelming that that’s all there is
it’s like and that’s what you do you cut
your timeframe back until you can cope
with it and if it’s not the next week
that you see how to get through then
it’s the next day and if it’s not the
next day then it’s the next hour and if
it’s not the next hour then it’s the
next minute the internal problem is how
do you deal with tragedy and malevolence
and you can say well I’m not prepared
it’s like yeah fair enough
unsurprising especially if you were over
protected as a child it’s not a good
idea to over protect your kids because
the snakes are going to come into the
garden no matter what you do and so then
you instead of trying to keep the damn
snakes away what you do is you arm your
child with something that can help them
chop them into pieces and make the world
out of them so that the trick for human
thriving in the face of suffering and
malevolence is strength not protection
it’s a completely different idea we also
know this clinically we know for example
that if you treat people with exposure
therapy for Agoura phobia which is
roughly speaking the fear of chaos I
would say the fear of everything you
don’t make them less afraid
you make them braver it’s not the same
thing because with an agoraphobic see
what happens to them is the fall they
never conceptualize death and suffering
they’re naive right it never enters
their theater of their imaginations
because they’re protected from it but
then something happens this this often
happens to women in their 40s because
they’re the people most likely to
develop Agra phobia something happens
there they’ve been protected from chaos
by Authority their entire life so maybe
they had an overprotective father and
then they went to an overprotective
boyfriend and then they went to an
overprotective husband and maybe they
were willing to be subjugated to all
three of those because of the project
protection right so so that’s the
bargain they stay weak and dependent and
maybe they have to because that’s the
only way they can appeal to the person
who’s hyper protective but the price
they pay for that is that they’re not
sufficiently competent and then
something happens in their life often in
their 40s they develop heart
palpitations maybe as a consequence of
menopause their heart starts to beat
erratically and they think oh no death
it’s like well who are you going to talk
to about that
right there’s no protection from
Authority for that or maybe their friend
gets divorced or maybe their sister dies
or something like that it brings up the
specter of mortality and maybe the
specter of malevolence and mortality and
it brings it up in a way that Authority
recourse to Authority cannot solve and
so then they have panic attacks what
happens they go out they get afraid they
feel their heart beating then they get
afraid of their heart beating because
they think oh no I’m going to die and
they think oh no I’m going to die and
I’m going to make a fool of myself while
I’m doing it and attract a lot of
attention so the two big fears come up
mortality and social judgement and then
they have a panic attack it’s like
fighter flights going out of control
very very unpleasant then they start to
avoid the places they’ve had a panic
attack then they end up not being able
to go anywhere so then tiya matt has
come back write a huge monster a little
victim and so what do you do with them
well there’s no saying no there’s no
time app that’s done right there naivety
is over they’ve had a direct contact
with the threat of mortality and social
judgment they’ve met the terrible mother
and they met the terrible father and
there’s no going back there’s no saying
oh the world is safe it’s not safe not
at all it’s not safe the fact that you
think it’s safe means that you were
living in an unconscious bubble that was
sort of provided to you by your culture
it’s a gift and now that’s been
shattered and so now what do you do well
the answer is you retreat until you’re
in your house and there’s nowhere you
can go you’re the ultimate frozen rabbit
right and your life is hell because you
can’t function
the alternative is let’s take apart the
things you’re afraid of let’s expose you
to them you know carefully and
programmatically and then you’ll learn
that you can you’re actually tougher
than you think you never knew that and
maybe you didn’t want to take on the
responsibility because you know people
play a role in their own demise so to
speak when you had opportunity to go out
and explore or withdraw because you were
afraid you chose to withdraw because you
were afraid so it’s not only that you
were over protected often it’s that you
were willing to take advantage of the
fact that you were over protected and
run back there whenever you had the
opportunity you know so maybe you’re a
kid in the playground right and you’re
having some trouble with other kids and
you know in the back of your mind I
should deal this with deal with this
myself but you go and tell your mom and
get her to intervene and you know that
that’s not right
you know that you’re breaking the social
contract but it’s easier and so that’s
what you do you run off to an authority
figure and hide behind the Great Father
right roughly speaking well the problem
with that is you don’t learn how to do
it yourself so then you have to relearn
it painfully when you’re 40 so then you
take people out you say well what are
you afraid of rank it from 1 to 10 so 10
is make a list of 10 things you’re
afraid of the least the thing you’re
least afraid of will call number 10 so
we’ll start with that
okay well I’m afraid of elevators ok
well let’s let’s look at a picture of an
elevator let’s have you imagine being in
an elevator let’s go out to an elevator
and let you watch the terrible jaws of
death open because that’s how you’re
responding to it symbolically right and
you’re gonna do that at it at the the
closest proximity you can manage you
find out you go do that
it works you’re nervous as hell
especially and from an anticipatory
perspective shaking you go out you stop
you watch it happen and you actually
calm down you do that 10 times it no
longer bothers you well what you’ve
learned that you didn’t die but more
importantly than that you’ve learned
that you could withstand the threat of
death that’s what you’ve learned and
then you move a little closer and then
you move a little closer and then you
move a little closer and finally you’re
back in what’s no longer the elevator
from a symbolic perspective it’s a tomb
right it’s it’s it’s a place of
enclosure and isolation and you learn
hmm turns out I can withstand that and
then you’re met much more together much
more confident and that’s often one of
the things that often happens in
situations like that I’ve seen this
multiple times is that if you run
someone through an exposure training
process like that and and toughen them
up they’ll often start standing up to
people around them in a way they never
did before because they wouldn’t stand
up for themselves before because they
weren’t willing to undermine the
protection see if you’re protecting me
I can’t bother you because I can’t
afford to forsake your protection so if
I’m gonna play that game I’m gonna be
high hide behind you then I can’t
challenge you so that’s no good because
that’s sometimes why people you see this
with guys very frequently they’re still
deathly afraid of their father’s
judgment when they’re in their 30s or
40s it’s like well why not because they
still want to believe that there’s
someone out there that knows and so
they’re willing to accept the
subjugation because it doesn’t force
them to challenge the idea that there’s
someone out there that knows because
that’s the advantage of having your
father as a judge right because he knows
well what if he doesn’t what if no one
knows any better than you well that’s a
rough thing you don’t until you realize
that you’re not an adult right that’s
really technically the point of
realization of adulthood is that no one
actually knows what you should do more
than you do I mean it’s a horrible
realization because what the hell do you
know
it’s a terrible realization and people
will often pick slavery permanent
slavery to the spirit of the great
father let’s say over that realization
and it’s completely understandable but
the problem with it is is that there’s
more to you than you think and so if you
continue to hide behind that figure then
you never have a chance to understand
that there’s more to you than you think
far more to you than you think maybe
there’s enough to you so that you can
actually withstand the threat of
mortality without collapsing maybe even
withstand the threat of malevolence
without collapsing who knows it’s
certainly possible and it’s not an
abstract question it’s exactly the sort
of question that you address in the
psychotherapeutic process it’s it’s
always the question that you address and
the answer is often in the affirmative
because people can get unbelievably
tough and you know that because people
work in emergency wards and hospitals
right or they work in in palliative care
Awards or they work as mortuary
assistants I mean these people have
bloody rough jobs you know or they’re on
the front line of police investigation
into you know highness child abuse
crimes and so they’re confronting
malevolence on a regular basis and you
know those are very stressful jobs but
people do them
and and some people do them without even
being damaged by them although that’s a
harder thing because you can see
horrible things you know things you’ll
never forget the problem is it’s true
you’re oppressed you’re oppressed you’re
oppressed you’re oppressed god only
knows why maybe you’re too short or
you’re not as beautiful as you could be
or you know your parent your grandparent
was a serf likely because almost
everybody’s grand great-grandparent was
it’s like you know and you’re not as
smart as you could be and you have a
sick relative and you have your own
physical problems and it’s like frankly
you’re a mess and you’re oppressed in
every possible way
including your ancestry and your biology
and the entire sum of human history has
conspired to produce victimized you with
all your individual pathological
problems it’s like yes true ok but the
problem is is that it is true and so if
you take the oppressed you have to
fractionate them and fraction ate them
it’s like you’re a woman yeah ok well
I’m a black woman well I’m a black woman
who has two children well I’m a black
woman who has two children and one of
them isn’t very healthy and then well
I’m uh I’m a Hispanic woman and I have a
genius son who doesn’t have any money so
that he can’t go to university and you
know I had a hell of a time getting
across the border it was really hard on
me to get my citizenship my husband is
an alcoholic brute it’s like well yeah
that sucks too and so well so let’s
let’s let’s fix all your oppressive
oppression and we’ll take every single
thing into account then we’ll fix yours
too we’ll take every single thing into
account it’s like no you won’t because
you can’t you can’t it is technically
impossible first of all you can’t even
list all the ways that you’re oppressed
second how are you gonna weight them
third who’s gonna decide and that’s the
bloody thing who’s gonna decide that’s
the thing well what’s the answer in the
West it’s like in free markets oh yeah
Christ will never be able to solve this
problem no one can solve it what are we
gonna do about that we’re gonna
outsource it to the marketplace you’re
gonna take your sorry pathetic being and
you’re gonna try to offer me something
that maybe I want and I’m gonna take my
sorry pathetic being
I’m gonna say well all things considered
as well as I can understand them maybe I
could give you this much money which is
actually a promise for that thing and
you’ve packed all of your damn
oppression into the price and I’ve
packed all my oppression into the
willingness to pay it and that solution
sucks it’s a bad solution but compared
to every other solution man it’s why 10%
of us have freedom and so there’s a
tremendous iya logic at the bottom of
this it’s like you have to fractionate
feel pressed all the way down to the
level of the individual well that’s what
the West figured out you know there’s a
couple of figures who at the
mythological roots of our culture and
you know people get upset with me
because I bring in religious themes but
I understand some things about mythology
religion it’s not an accident that the
axiomatic Western individual is someone
who is unfairly nailed to a cross and
tortured it’s like yes right exactly so
what do you do about that
well I thought about that for a long
time too it’s like well you don’t get
together in a damn mob because all that
does is allow you to be as horrible as
you could possibly imagine and suffer
from none of the consequences that’s a
bad idea so how about we don’t do that
well there’s a deep idea in the West –
looks like pick up your damned suffering
and bear it and try to be a good person
so you don’t make it worse well that’s a
truth you know I read a lot about the
terrible things that people have done to
each other you just cannot even imagine
it so awful so you don’t want to be
someone like that no do you have a
reason to be yes you have a lots of
reasons to be god there’s reasons to be
resentful about your exist
everyone you know is gonna die you know
you – there’s gonna be a fair bit of
pain along the way and lots of it’s
gonna be unfair it’s like yeah no wonder
you’re resentful
it’s like act it out and see what
happens you make everything you’re
complaining about infinitely worse
there’s this idea that hell is a
bottomless pit and that’s because no
matter how bad is some stupid son of a
bitch like you could figure out a way to
make it a lot worse so you think well
what do you do about that
well you accept it that’s what life is
like it’s suffering that’s what the
religious people have always said life
is suffering only do you have to move
from point A to B in life but point a is
often a very difficult place to be
because we’re fragile and bounded and
mortal and limited and because we know
that and so one of the implications of
that as many great religious traditions
are at pains to illustrate or
demonstrate or proclaim is that life is
essentially suffering and I believe that
to be a fundamental truth but but
perhaps not the most fundamental truth
because I think the most fundamental
truth is that despite the fact that life
is suffering people can transcend that
and partly the way they transcend that
is by pursuing things of value and so
that if there is no value proposition at
hand then you have no meaning to justify
the difficult conditions of your life
and that’s brutally difficult for people
no Nietzsche said he who has a why can
bear anyhow and you see and I’ve
certainly seen this as a clinical
practitioner that people who have no
purpose in their life are embittered by
the difficulties of their life and they
become first bitter and then resentful
and then revengeful and then cruel and
there’s plenty of places to go past
cruel that’s just where you start if
so when you fix yourself up a little bit
kind of humbly because you know God
you’re a fixer-upper if there ever was
one and then you got to figure out well
but can you figure out how to make peace
with your idiot brother and probably not
because he’s just as dumb as you so how
the hell are you gonna manage that and
so then you maybe you get somewhere that
way and your family sort of functioning
and you find out well that kind of
relieved a little bit of suffering
although it reduced the opportunities
for spiteful revenge and that’s kind of
a pain in the neck and so then you get
your family together a little bit and
you’re a little clued in then at least a
bit because you’ve done something
difficult that’s actually difficult
you’re a wiser and so then maybe you
could put a tentative figure I’d beyond
the family and try to change some little
thing without wrecking it it’s like our
society is complex and we teach our
students that they could just fix it
it’s like go fix a military helicopter
and see how far you get with that it’s
like you’re going to get a do you’re
like a chimp with a wrench
whack whoa look it’s better it’s like no
it’s not better things are complicated
and to fix things is really hard and you
have to be like a golden tool to fix
things and you’re not so and that’s the
other message of the West it’s like how
do you overcome the suffering of the
rule of life I’m not saying it’s only
the message of the West how do you
overcome the suffering of life is be a
better person that’s how you do it well
that’s hard it takes responsibility and
I think you know if you said to someone
you want to have a meaningful life
everything you do matters that’s the
definition of a meaningful life but
everything you do matters
it’s gonna have to carry that with you
or do you want to just forget about the
whole meaning thing and then you don’t
have any responsibility because who the
hell cares and you can wander through
life doing whatever you want gratifying
impulsive desires for how well useful
that’s going to be and you’re stuck in
meaninglessness but you don’t have any
responsibilities which one do you want
well ask yourself which one are you
pursuing and you’ll find very rapidly
that it isn’t the majority of your soul
that’s
suing the whole meaning thing because
well look what you have to do to do that
you have to take on the fact that life
is suffering you have put yourself
together in the face of that well that’s
hard Christ it’s amazing people can even
do it I’m stunned every day when I go
outside and it isn’t a riot with
everything burning because really God
you talk to people it’s like I knew this
guy he’d been in a motorcycle accident
and it really ruined him and he was like
a linesman you know working on the power
and he was working with someone who had
Parkinson’s disease and they had
complementary inadequacies and so two of
them could do the job of one person and
so they’re out there fixing power lines
in the freezing cold despite the fact
that one was 3/4 wrecked with the
motorcycle accident the other one had
Parkinson’s it’s like that’s how our
civilization works it’s like there’s all
these ruined people out there they’ve
got problems like you can’t believe off
they go to work and do things they don’t
even like and look the lights are on my
god it’s unbelievable it’s it’s a
miracle it’s a miracle and we’re so
ungrateful college students the
postmodern types they’re so ungrateful
you know they don’t know that they’re
surrounded by it just a bloody miracle
it’s a miracle that all this stuff works
but all you crazy chimpanzees that don’t
know each other can sit in this same
room for two hours sweltering away
without tearing each other apart because
anyways so what happened well I made
some videos and I got to the bottom of
some things at least as far as I can
tell so I told you what the bottom is
and then I got this idea about what you
might do about it which isn’t my idea
it’s like it’s not my idea it’s an old
old old old idea it’s far older than
Christianity it’s old it’s the oldest
story of mankind get yourself together
transcend your suffering see if you can
be some kind of hero make the suffering
in the world less well that’s the way
forward as far as I can tell if there is any way forward
very tough and it turns out that if you
face things it turns out that if you
face things that you can put up with a
lot more than you think you can put up
with and you can do it without becoming
corrupted and she did recover quite
quite fully and much as a consequence of
her own Nationals because she figured
out what was wrong with her and then
took the necessary steps to fix it which
is nothing short of a bloody miracle as
far as I’m concerned and anyway as part
of the the cap myth is I actually start
by talking about our dog who actually
died about a year ago but he’s still
alive in the book I you know I let
people know because dog lovers love dogs
and if you love cats then they think you
don’t like dogs and they don’t like you
so I also point out at the beginning of
the chapter that you know if you want to
pet a dog on the street that’s okay too
so you don’t have to get up in arms
about it but but the idea is that you
know you have to be alert when you’re
suffering you have to be alert to the
beauty in life
the unexpected beauty in life and that’s
kind of what I was trying to get across
with the idea of the cow there’s this
cat that lives across the street from us
called ginger and Ginger’s a Siamese cat
and cats really aren’t domesticated a
technically speaking they’re still wild
animals but they kind of like people god
only knows why but they do you know and
so ginger will come wandering over and
our dog looks at her but they’re friends
and she rolls over on his back and
Siegel used to you know nose or a bit
and and then she’d kind of mosey over
and let you pet her if she was feeling
like it’s out day and you know you have
to look for those little bit of that
little bit of sparkling crystal in the
darkness when things are bad you have to
look and see where things are still
beautiful and where there’s still
something that’s sustaining and you know
you narrow your timeframe and you’d be
grateful for what you have and that can
get you through some very dark times and
maybe even successfully if you’re lucky
but even if unsuccessfully then maybe
it’s only tragic and not absolute hell
and you can do that you know in the
worst situation you can make it only
tragic and not held and there’s a big
gap between tragedy and hell you know
there’s nothing worse at a deathbed than
to see the people there fighting the
death is bad enough but you can take
that as terrible as it is and make it
into something that’s absolutely
unbearable and maybe I think and this is
sort of what I closed the book with is
this idea is that if we didn’t all
attempt to make terrible things even
worse than they are then maybe we could
tolerate the terrible things that we
have to put up with in order to exist
and maybe we could make the world into a
better place you know and it’s what we
should be doing and what we could be
doing because we don’t have anything
better to do and that’s what the book is
about and that’s the end of 12 rules for
life every time you learn something you
learn because something you did didn’t
work and that exposes you to the part of
the world that you don’t understand
every time you’re exposed to part of the
world that you don’t understand you have
the possibility of rebuilding the
structures that you use to interpret the
world that’s often why it’s more
important to notice that you’re wrong
than it is to prove that you’re right
one of the things that you’re supposed
to learn in university is precisely that
it might be useful to listen to people
that annoy you on the off chance that
they know something that if they tell
you you can use instead of dying talking
to people who agree with what you say is
like walking around in a desert you
already know everything that they say
the reason you’re associating with them
in that situation is so that they never
say anything that challenges you because
you’re afraid that if you go outside of
what you understand that you won’t be
able to tolerate the chaos but it isn’t
the case people have an unbelievable
capacity to face and overcome things
they don’t understand and not only that
that’s essentially what gives life its
meaning the Buddhists say life is
suffering and you think well if that’s
the case why bother with it and people
do ask that question and they ask it in
ways that result in their own
destruction and worse in the destruction
of others so for example people who
become particularly cruel
particularly in a genocidal manner are
more than willing to dispense with as
many human beings as that they can
possibly train their sights on because
they’re so disgusted by the nature of
human limitation that they’d rather
eradicate it and lots of people become
suicidal because they can’t bear the
conditions of their own existence and
suffering is real and it’s inescapable
so the question is what do you do about
it people do get what they want is
because they don’t actually figure out
what it is and the probability that
you’re going to get what would be good
for you let’s say which would even be
better than what you want right because
you know you might be what wrong about
what you want easily but maybe you could
get what would really be good for you
well why don’t you well because you
don’t try you don’t think okay here’s
what I would like if I could have it and
and I don’t mean I don’t mean in a way
that you manipulate the world to force
it to deliver you goods for status or
something like that that isn’t what I
mean I mean something like imagine that
you were taking care of yourself like
you were someone you actually cared for
and then you thought okay I’m caring for
this person I would like things to go as
well for them as possible
what would their life have to be like in
order for that to be the case what
people don’t do that they don’t sit down
and think alright you know let’s let’s
figure it out you’ve got a life it’s
hard obviously it’s like three years
from now you can have what you need you
got to be careful about it you can’t
have everything you can have what would
be good for you but you have to figure
out what it is and then you have to aim
at it well my experience with people as
being is if they figure out what it is
that would be good for them and then
they aim at it then they get it and it’s
tan idea about what would be good for
you and then you take ten steps towards
that and you find out that your
formulation was a bit off and so you
have to reformulate your goal you know
you’re kind of going like this as you
move towards the goal but a huge part of
the reason that people fail is because
they don’t ever set up the criteria for
success and so since success is a very
narrow
line and very unlikely the probability
that you’re going to stumble on it
randomly is zero and so there’s a
proposition here in the proposition is
if you actually want something you can
have it now the question then would be
well what do you mean by actually want
and the answer is that you reorient your
life in every possible way to make the
probability that that will occur as
certain as possible and that’s a
sacrificial idea right it’s like you
don’t get everything obviously you
obviously but maybe you can have what
you need and maybe all you have to do to
get it is ask but asking isn’t a whim or
today’s wish it’s like you have to be
deadly serious about it you have to
think okay like I’m taking stock of
myself and if I was going to live
properly in the world and I was going to
set myself up such that being would
justify itself in my estimation and I
don’t mean as a harsh judge exactly what
is it that I would aim at sit on your
bed one day and ask yourself what’s what
remarkably stupid things am i doing on a
regular basis to absolutely screw up my
life and if you actually ask that
question but you have to want to know
the answer right because that’s actually
what asking the question means it
doesn’t mean just mouthing the words it
means you have to decide that you want
to know you’ll figure that’s out so fast
it’ll make your hair curl it’s not an
accident that the axiomatic Western
individual is someone who was unfairly
nailed to a cross and tortured it’s like
yes right exactly so what do you do
about that well I thought about that for
a long time too it’s like well you don’t
get together in a damn mob because all
that does is allow you to be as horrible
as you could possibly imagine and suffer
from none of the consequences that’s a
bad idea
so how about we don’t do that
well there’s a deep idea in the West too
it’s like pick up your damn suffering
and bear it and try to be a good person
so you don’t make it worse well that’s a
truth you know I read a lot about the
terrible things that people have done to
each other you just cannot even imagine
it it’s so awful so you don’t want to be
someone like that no do you have a
reason to be yes you have a lots of
reasons to be god there’s reasons to be
resentful about your existence everyone
you know is gonna die you know you too
and there’s gonna be a fair bit of pain
along the way and lots of it’s gonna be
unfair it’s like yeah no wonder you’re
resentful
it’s like act it out and see what
happens you make everything you’re
complaining about infinitely worse
there’s this idea that hell is a
bottomless pit and that’s because no
matter how bad is some stupid son of a
bitch like you could figure out a way to
make it a lot worse so you think well
what do you do about that
well you accept it that’s what life is
like it’s suffering that’s what the
religious people have always said life
is suffering yes
well who wants to admit that well just
think about it well so what do you do in
the face of that suffering try to reduce
it start with yourself what good are you
get yourself together for Christ’s sake
so that when your father dies you’re not
whining away in a corner and you can
help plan the funeral and you can stand
up solidly so that people can rely on
you that’s better
don’t be a damn victim of course you’re
a victim Jesus obviously put yourself
together and then maybe if you put
yourself together you know how to do
that you know what’s wrong with you if
you’ll admit it you know there’s a few
things you could like polish up a little
bit that you might even be able to
manage in your insufficient present
condition and so you might shine
yourself up a little bit and then your
eyes will be a little more open then you
can shine yourself up a little bit more
and then maybe you could bring your
family together instead of having them
either
faithful spiteful neurotic infighting
batch that you’re doomed to spend
Christmas with so then you fix yourself
up a little bit kind of humbly because
you know God
you’re a fixer-upper if there ever was
one and then you got to figure out well
can you figure out how to make peace
with your idiot brother and probably not
because he’s just as dumb as you so the
how the hell are you gonna manage that
and so then you’ve maybe you get
somewhere that way and your family sort
of functioning and you find out well
that kind of relieved a little bit of
suffering although it reduced the
opportunities for spiteful revenge and
that’s kind of a pain in the neck and so
then you get your family together a
little bit and you’re a little clued in
then at least a bit because you’ve done
something difficult that’s actually
difficult you’re the wiser and so then
maybe you could put a tentative finger
out beyond the family and try to change
some little thing without wrecking it
it’s like our society is complex and we
teach our students that they could just
fix it it’s like go fix a military
helicopter see how far you get with that
it’s like you’re going to get to do
you’re like a chimp with a wrench
whack whoa look it’s better it’s like no
it’s not better things are complicated
and to fix things is really hard and you
have to be like a golden tool to fix
things and you’re not so and that’s the
other message of the West it’s like how
do you overcome the suffering of the of
life and I’m not saying it’s only the
message of the West how do you overcome
the suffering of life is be a better
person that’s how you do it well that’s
hard it takes responsibility and I think
you know if you said to someone you want
to have a meaningful life everything you
do matters that’s the definition of a
meaningful life but everything you do
matters it’s gonna have to carry that
with you or do you want to just forget
about the whole meaning thing and then
you don’t have any responsibility
because who the hell cares and you can
wander through life doing whatever you
want gratifying impulsive desires for
how well useful that’s going to be and
you’re stuck in meaninglessness but you
don’t have any responsibilities which
one do you want
well ask yourself which one are you
pursuing and you’ll find very rapidly
that it isn’t the majority of your soul
that’s pursuing the whole meaning thing
because well look what you have to do to
do that you have to take on the fact
that life is suffering you have put
yourself together in the face of that
well that’s hard Christ it’s amazing
people can even do it I’m stunned every
day when I go outside and it isn’t a
riot with everything burning because
really God you talk to people it’s like
I knew this guy he’d been in a
motorcycle accident and it really ruined
him and he was like a linesman you know
working on the power and he was working
with someone who had Parkinson’s disease
and they had complementary inadequacies
and so two of them could do the job of
one person and so they’re out there
fixing power lines in the freezing cold
despite the fact that one was
three-quarters wrecked with a motorcycle
accident the other one had Parkinson’s
it’s like that’s how our civilization
works it’s like there’s all these ruined
people out there they’ve got problems
like you can’t believe off they go to
work and do things they don’t even like
and look the lights are on my god it’s
unbelievable it’s it’s a miracle it’s a
miracle and we’re so ungrateful college
students the postmodern types they’re so
ungrateful
you know they don’t know that they’re
surrounded by it just a bloody miracle
it’s a miracle that all this stuff works
but all you crazy chimpanzees that don’t
know each other can sit in the same room
for two hours sweltering away without
tearing each other apart
anyways so what happened while I made
some videos and I got to the bottom of
some things at least as far as I can
tell so I told you what the bottom is
and then I got this idea about what you
might do about it
which isn’t my idea it’s like it’s not
my idea it’s an old old old old idea
it’s far older than Christianity it’s
old it’s the oldest story of mankind get
yourself together
transcend your suffering see if you can
be some kind of hero make the suffering
in the world less well that’s the way
forward as far as I can tell if there is
any way forward final rule
it’s called pedak out when you encounter
one on the street and it’s it’s a very
it’s the most personal chapter in the
book it’s a lot about my daughter and my
daughter was very ill when she was well
when she was a kid but particularly when
she was a teenager she had a very
terrible time of it
she had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis
and when she was between the ages of 14
and 16 at first destroyed her hip which
had to be replaced and then it destroyed
the ankle on her other leg which had to
be replaced and she walked around for
two years on broken legs and she was
taking massive doses of opiates and
could hardly stay awake and like and she
had this advanced autoimmune disease
which produced all sorts of other
symptoms that were just as bad as the
joint degeneration but which are harder
to describe and so it’s just bloody
brutal you know and as a test of your
faith there’s almost nothing that’s more
direct than a serious illness inflicted
upon an innocent child right and so the
chapter is a meditation on that and also
on but what to do in a situation like
that because everyone is going to have a
situation like that in some sense you
know because you’ll be faced with
illness and the people that you love and
in crisis and so it’s a just it’s a
practical guide to coping with those
sorts of things like and one of the
things you do when you’re overwhelmed by
crisis is you shorten your time frame
you know it’s like you can’t think about
next month maybe you can’t even bloody
well think about next week or maybe not
even tomorrow you know because now is
just so
overwhelming that that’s all there is
it’s like and that’s what you do you cut
your timeframe back until you can cope
with it and if it’s not the next week
that you see how to get through then
it’s the next day and if it’s not the
next day then it’s the next hour and if
it’s not the next hour then it’s the
next minute the internal problem is how
do you deal with tragedy and malevolence
and you can say well I’m not prepared
it’s like yeah fair enough
unsurprising especially if you were over
protected as a child it’s not a good
idea to over protect your kids because
the snakes are going to come into the
garden no matter what you do and so then
you instead of trying to keep the damn
snakes away what you do is you arm your
child with something that can help them
chop them into pieces and make the world
out of them so that the trick for human
thriving in the face of suffering and
malevolence is strength not protection
it’s a completely different idea we also
know this clinically we know for example
that if you treat people with exposure
therapy for Agoura phobia which is
roughly speaking the fear of chaos I
would say the fear of everything you
don’t make them less afraid
you make them braver it’s not the same
thing because with an agoraphobic see
what happens to them is the fall they
never conceptualize death and suffering
they’re naive right it never enters
their theater of their imaginations
because they’re protected from it but
then something happens this this often
happens to women in their 40s because
they’re the people most likely to
develop Agra phobia something happens
there they’ve been protected from chaos
by Authority their entire life so maybe
they had an overprotective father and
then they went to an overprotective
boyfriend and then they went to an
overprotective husband and maybe they
were willing to be subjugated to all
three of those because of the project
protection right so so that’s the
bargain they stay weak and dependent and
maybe they have to because that’s the
only way they can appeal to the person
who’s hyper protective but the price
they pay for that is that they’re not
sufficiently competent and then
something happens in their life often in
their 40s they develop heart
palpitations maybe as a consequence of
menopause their heart starts to beat
erratically and they think oh no death
it’s like well who are you going to talk
to about that
right there’s no protection from
Authority for that or maybe their friend
gets divorced or maybe their sister dies
or something like that it brings up the
specter of mortality and maybe the
specter of malevolence and mortality and
it brings it up in a way that Authority
recourse to Authority cannot solve and
so then they have panic attacks what
happens they go out they get afraid they
feel their heart beating then they get
afraid of their heart beating because
they think oh no I’m going to die and
they think oh no I’m going to die and
I’m going to make a fool of myself while
I’m doing it and attract a lot of
attention so the two big fears come up
mortality and social judgement and then
they have a panic attack it’s like
fighter flights going out of control
very very unpleasant then they start to
avoid the places they’ve had a panic
attack then they end up not being able
to go anywhere so then tiya matt has
come back write a huge monster a little
victim and so what do you do with them
well there’s no saying no there’s no
time app that’s done right there naivety
is over they’ve had a direct contact
with the threat of mortality and social
judgment they’ve met the terrible mother
and they met the terrible father and
there’s no going back there’s no saying
oh the world is safe it’s not safe not
at all it’s not safe the fact that you
think it’s safe means that you were
living in an unconscious bubble that was
sort of provided to you by your culture
it’s a gift and now that’s been
shattered and so now what do you do well
the answer is you retreat until you’re
in your house and there’s nowhere you
can go you’re the ultimate frozen rabbit
right and your life is hell because you
can’t function
the alternative is let’s take apart the
things you’re afraid of let’s expose you
to them you know carefully and
programmatically and then you’ll learn
that you can you’re actually tougher
than you think you never knew that and
maybe you didn’t want to take on the
responsibility because you know people
play a role in their own demise so to
speak when you had opportunity to go out
and explore or withdraw because you were
afraid you chose to withdraw because you
were afraid so it’s not only that you
were over protected often it’s that you
were willing to take advantage of the
fact that you were over protected and
run back there whenever you had the
opportunity you know so maybe you’re a
kid in the playground right and you’re
having some trouble with other kids and
you know in the back of your mind I
should deal this with deal with this
myself but you go and tell your mom and
get her to intervene and you know that
that’s not right
you know that you’re breaking the social
contract but it’s easier and so that’s
what you do you run off to an authority
figure and hide behind the Great Father
right roughly speaking well the problem
with that is you don’t learn how to do
it yourself so then you have to relearn
it painfully when you’re 40 so then you
take people out you say well what are
you afraid of rank it from 1 to 10 so 10
is make a list of 10 things you’re
afraid of the least the thing you’re
least afraid of will call number 10 so
we’ll start with that
okay well I’m afraid of elevators ok
well let’s let’s look at a picture of an
elevator let’s have you imagine being in
an elevator let’s go out to an elevator
and let you watch the terrible jaws of
death open because that’s how you’re
responding to it symbolically right and
you’re gonna do that at it at the the
closest proximity you can manage you
find out you go do that
it works you’re nervous as hell
especially and from an anticipatory
perspective shaking you go out you stop
you watch it happen and you actually
calm down you do that 10 times it no
longer bothers you well what you’ve
learned that you didn’t die but more
importantly than that you’ve learned
that you could withstand the threat of
death that’s what you’ve learned and
then you move a little closer and then
you move a little closer and then you
move a little closer and finally you’re
back in what’s no longer the elevator
from a symbolic perspective it’s a tomb
right it’s it’s it’s a place of
enclosure and isolation and you learn
hmm turns out I can withstand that and
then you’re met much more together much
more confident and that’s often one of
the things that often happens in
situations like that I’ve seen this
multiple times is that if you run
someone through an exposure training
process like that and and toughen them
up they’ll often start standing up to
people around them in a way they never
did before because they wouldn’t stand
up for themselves before because they
weren’t willing to undermine the
protection see if you’re protecting me
I can’t bother you because I can’t
afford to forsake your protection so if
I’m gonna play that game I’m gonna be
high hide behind you then I can’t
challenge you so that’s no good because
that’s sometimes why people you see this
with guys very frequently they’re still
deathly afraid of their father’s
judgment when they’re in their 30s or
40s it’s like well why not because they
still want to believe that there’s
someone out there that knows and so
they’re willing to accept the
subjugation because it doesn’t force
them to challenge the idea that there’s
someone out there that knows because
that’s the advantage of having your
father as a judge right because he knows
well what if he doesn’t what if no one
knows any better than you well that’s a
rough thing you don’t until you realize
that you’re not an adult right that’s
really technically the point of
realization of adulthood is that no one
actually knows what you should do more
than you do I mean it’s a horrible
realization because what the hell do you
know
it’s a terrible realization and people
will often pick slavery permanent
slavery to the spirit of the great
father let’s say over that realization
and it’s completely understandable but
the problem with it is is that there’s
more to you than you think and so if you
continue to hide behind that figure then
you never have a chance to understand
that there’s more to you than you think
far more to you than you think maybe
there’s enough to you so that you can
actually withstand the threat of
mortality without collapsing maybe even
withstand the threat of malevolence
without collapsing who knows it’s
certainly possible and it’s not an
abstract question it’s exactly the sort
of question that you address in the
psychotherapeutic process it’s it’s
always the question that you address and
the answer is often in the affirmative
because people can get unbelievably
tough and you know that because people
work in emergency wards and hospitals
right or they work in in palliative care
Awards or they work as mortuary
assistants I mean these people have
bloody rough jobs you know or they’re on
the front line of police investigation
into you know highness child abuse
crimes and so they’re confronting
malevolence on a regular basis and you
know those are very stressful jobs but
people do them
and and some people do them without even
being damaged by them although that’s a
harder thing because you can see
horrible things you know things you’ll
never forget the problem is it’s true
you’re oppressed you’re oppressed you’re
oppressed you’re oppressed god only
knows why maybe you’re too short or
you’re not as beautiful as you could be
or you know your parent your grandparent
was a serf likely because almost
everybody’s grand great-grandparent was
it’s like you know and you’re not as
smart as you could be and you have a
sick relative and you have your own
physical problems and it’s like frankly
you’re a mess and you’re oppressed in
every possible way
including your ancestry and your biology
and the entire sum of human history has
conspired to produce victimized you with
all your individual pathological
problems it’s like yes true ok but the
problem is is that it is true and so if
you take the oppressed you have to
fractionate them and fraction ate them
it’s like you’re a woman yeah ok well
I’m a black woman well I’m a black woman
who has two children well I’m a black
woman who has two children and one of
them isn’t very healthy and then well
I’m uh I’m a Hispanic woman and I have a
genius son who doesn’t have any money so
that he can’t go to university and you
know I had a hell of a time getting
across the border it was really hard on
me to get my citizenship my husband is
an alcoholic brute it’s like well yeah
that sucks too and so well so let’s
let’s let’s fix all your oppressive
oppression and we’ll take every single
thing into account then we’ll fix yours
too we’ll take every single thing into
account it’s like no you won’t because
you can’t you can’t it is technically
impossible first of all you can’t even
list all the ways that you’re oppressed
second how are you gonna weight them
third who’s gonna decide and that’s the
bloody thing who’s gonna decide that’s
the thing well what’s the answer in the
West it’s like in free markets oh yeah
Christ will never be able to solve this
problem no one can solve it what are we
gonna do about that we’re gonna
outsource it to the marketplace you’re
gonna take your sorry pathetic being and
you’re gonna try to offer me something
that maybe I want and I’m gonna take my
sorry pathetic being
I’m gonna say well all things considered
as well as I can understand them maybe I
could give you this much money which is
actually a promise for that thing and
you’ve packed all of your damn
oppression into the price and I’ve
packed all my oppression into the
willingness to pay it and that solution
sucks it’s a bad solution but compared
to every other solution man it’s why 10%
of us have freedom and so there’s a
tremendous iya logic at the bottom of
this it’s like you have to fractionate
feel pressed all the way down to the
level of the individual well that’s what
the West figured out you know there’s a
couple of figures who at the
mythological roots of our culture and
you know people get upset with me
because I bring in religious themes but
I understand some things about mythology
religion it’s not an accident that the
axiomatic Western individual is someone
who is unfairly nailed to a cross and
tortured it’s like yes right exactly so
what do you do about that
well I thought about that for a long
time too it’s like well you don’t get
together in a damn mob because all that
does is allow you to be as horrible as
you could possibly imagine and suffer
from none of the consequences that’s a
bad idea so how about we don’t do that
well there’s a deep idea in the West –
looks like pick up your damned suffering
and bear it and try to be a good person
so you don’t make it worse well that’s a
truth you know I read a lot about the
terrible things that people have done to
each other you just cannot even imagine
it so awful so you don’t want to be
someone like that no do you have a
reason to be yes you have a lots of
reasons to be god there’s reasons to be
resentful about your exist
everyone you know is gonna die you know
you – there’s gonna be a fair bit of
pain along the way and lots of it’s
gonna be unfair it’s like yeah no wonder
you’re resentful
it’s like act it out and see what
happens you make everything you’re
complaining about infinitely worse
there’s this idea that hell is a
bottomless pit and that’s because no
matter how bad is some stupid son of a
bitch like you could figure out a way to
make it a lot worse so you think well
what do you do about that
well you accept it that’s what life is
like it’s suffering that’s what the
religious people have always said life
is suffering only do you have to move
from point A to B in life but point a is
often a very difficult place to be
because we’re fragile and bounded and
mortal and limited and because we know
that and so one of the implications of
that as many great religious traditions
are at pains to illustrate or
demonstrate or proclaim is that life is
essentially suffering and I believe that
to be a fundamental truth but but
perhaps not the most fundamental truth
because I think the most fundamental
truth is that despite the fact that life
is suffering people can transcend that
and partly the way they transcend that
is by pursuing things of value and so
that if there is no value proposition at
hand then you have no meaning to justify
the difficult conditions of your life
and that’s brutally difficult for people
no Nietzsche said he who has a why can
bear anyhow and you see and I’ve
certainly seen this as a clinical
practitioner that people who have no
purpose in their life are embittered by
the difficulties of their life and they
become first bitter and then resentful
and then revengeful and then cruel and
there’s plenty of places to go past
cruel that’s just where you start if
so when you fix yourself up a little bit
kind of humbly because you know God
you’re a fixer-upper if there ever was
one and then you got to figure out well
but can you figure out how to make peace
with your idiot brother and probably not
because he’s just as dumb as you so how
the hell are you gonna manage that and
so then you maybe you get somewhere that
way and your family sort of functioning
and you find out well that kind of
relieved a little bit of suffering
although it reduced the opportunities
for spiteful revenge and that’s kind of
a pain in the neck and so then you get
your family together a little bit and
you’re a little clued in then at least a
bit because you’ve done something
difficult that’s actually difficult
you’re a wiser and so then maybe you
could put a tentative figure I’d beyond
the family and try to change some little
thing without wrecking it it’s like our
society is complex and we teach our
students that they could just fix it
it’s like go fix a military helicopter
and see how far you get with that it’s
like you’re going to get a do you’re
like a chimp with a wrench
whack whoa look it’s better it’s like no
it’s not better things are complicated
and to fix things is really hard and you
have to be like a golden tool to fix
things and you’re not so and that’s the
other message of the West it’s like how
do you overcome the suffering of the
rule of life I’m not saying it’s only
the message of the West how do you
overcome the suffering of life is be a
better person that’s how you do it well
that’s hard it takes responsibility and
I think you know if you said to someone
you want to have a meaningful life
everything you do matters that’s the
definition of a meaningful life but
everything you do matters
it’s gonna have to carry that with you
or do you want to just forget about the
whole meaning thing and then you don’t
have any responsibility because who the
hell cares and you can wander through
life doing whatever you want gratifying
impulsive desires for how well useful
that’s going to be and you’re stuck in
meaninglessness but you don’t have any
responsibilities which one do you want
well ask yourself which one are you
pursuing and you’ll find very rapidly
that it isn’t the majority of your soul
that’s
suing the whole meaning thing because
well look what you have to do to do that
you have to take on the fact that life
is suffering you have put yourself
together in the face of that well that’s
hard Christ it’s amazing people can even
do it I’m stunned every day when I go
outside and it isn’t a riot with
everything burning because really God
you talk to people it’s like I knew this
guy he’d been in a motorcycle accident
and it really ruined him and he was like
a linesman you know working on the power
and he was working with someone who had
Parkinson’s disease and they had
complementary inadequacies and so two of
them could do the job of one person and
so they’re out there fixing power lines
in the freezing cold despite the fact
that one was 3/4 wrecked with the
motorcycle accident the other one had
Parkinson’s it’s like that’s how our
civilization works it’s like there’s all
these ruined people out there they’ve
got problems like you can’t believe off
they go to work and do things they don’t
even like and look the lights are on my
god it’s unbelievable it’s it’s a
miracle it’s a miracle and we’re so
ungrateful college students the
postmodern types they’re so ungrateful
you know they don’t know that they’re
surrounded by it just a bloody miracle
it’s a miracle that all this stuff works
but all you crazy chimpanzees that don’t
know each other can sit in this same
room for two hours sweltering away
without tearing each other apart because
anyways so what happened well I made
some videos and I got to the bottom of
some things at least as far as I can
tell so I told you what the bottom is
and then I got this idea about what you
might do about it which isn’t my idea
it’s like it’s not my idea it’s an old
old old old idea it’s far older than
Christianity it’s old it’s the oldest
story of mankind get yourself together
transcend your suffering see if you can
be some kind of hero make the suffering
in the world less well that’s the way
forward as far as I can tell if there is any way forward
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