I have been working my whole life and
what I didn’t understand by being
determined to chase something by being
committed to it and what commitment is
commitment is staying true to what you
said you were going to do long after the
mood that you have said it in has left
you see people think commitment is
saying yes I’ll do it on the days when
it felt good but I’ve been committed to
everything that I ever started in my
life and I never stopped and I never
quit it and so by being committed to
everything that I started I finished it
it built the certain type of spirit it
built the certain type of mentality and
built the certain type of individual and
so now I couldn’t quit even if I wanted
to I couldn’t lay in the bed even if I
wanted to I couldn’t stop even if I
wanted to I had too much sweat equity in
my life and everything that I was doing
because I understood my existence wasn’t
about me I went from me to we long time
ago I understood the process is more
important than the product it wasn’t
about the outcome for me what that made
it to the NFL or not that was
inconsequential in God’s plan for my
life but I was going to fall in love
with that process because I understood
by falling in love with that process it
was going to turn me into a machine that
I have to want this to exist in the
world I get have to not so it’s a
similar rule just say if this was
successful and I had nothing and I got
no and I was not involved and I got no
money off it or it wasn’t what I wanted
to do well and that’s a great check I
think to know if you really feel good
about the idea and can be passionate
about it one of the things I advise
entrepreneurs to do is when you have an
idea a classic entrepreneurial impulse
is to hold the idea close to you and not
go tell you because all the ideas so
special right that’s almost always a
mistake go talk to why is that a mistake
yeah it’s a mistake because your actual
real competitive advantage is not that
you have this idea that you have locked
away in your closet which may or may not
be accurate you have no idea which it is
your actual competitive advantage is if
you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in motion so many
things go wrong when you’re starting a
company and often I think people ask you
know what mistakes
should you avoid making
you know my answer the question is don’t
even bother trying to avoid mistakes
because you’re gonna make tons of
mistakes right and the the important
thing is actually learning quickly from
whatever mistakes you make and not
giving up right and I mean there are
things every single year of Facebook’s
existence that could have killed us or
made it so that it just seemed like
moving forward and making a lot of
progress just seemed intractable but you
just kind of bounce back and you learn
and nothing is impossible you just have
to kind of keep running through the
walls but advice to have the person did
to up there at their coefficient they’re
just up there ambition yeah boy you
gotta quit you got to quit saying
nonsense occult stuff like you know I’m
happy where I’m at we’re good we’re all
good you know this is just good
everything’s good and I’m better off
with somebody in that you got to
comparing yourself to other people you
got to quit talking like the
middle-class like like you’ve somehow
arrived because somebody in Iran is
suffering yeah you know you’re good
until you’re not there’s nobody watching
that gives enough money to charity yeah
okay everybody watching should be able
to give a million dollars a year to
charity but you can you know why you
can’t you would if you could but you
can’t because you didn’t yeah you didn’t
produce enough cuz by the way it’s not
your money anyway yeah somebody else
gave you the money and you pass it on
most of you like I’m really charitable
I’m really good but you never do enough
why because you never had enough yeah
and so so because you didn’t produce
enough because you didn’t work enough
because you didn’t expand enough so I
would just say to people look have some
loftier goals you’re going to as of
right now this moment you’re gonna focus
entirely on one thing getting so good
you cannot be ignored now what do I mean
by that getting so that you deliver
results deliver results for yourself to
deliver results for other people I would
just tell you every business owner on
the planet is looking for people that
can help them grow their business that’s
it they care about one thing and one
thing only can you deliver results so
the good news here is you can always
count on humans to be selfish and I
don’t mean that in a bad way I mean
they’re passionate about the things that
they’re passionate about they’re trying
to accomplish the things they’re trying
to accomplish and if you can show how
you can help with that people are gonna
want you no matter what I don’t give a
if you have a college education
like that is so irrelevant to me a
college education merely tells me that
you’ve been formally trained it does
tell me if you’re actually good now on a
resume can be very powerful cuz I’ll
look at that in a shorthand I’ll say oh
like they probably are ahead of somebody
that doesn’t have those things but if
you’re out in the real world getting
results I’m all for that and let me tell
you how fast you can convey that with
something like if I’m like right now hey
everybody
by the way PS if you’re a director of
marketing we want to hear from you
especially if you understand content
marketing so I think most people in this
community know that Jarrod has moved up
to San Jose
I don’t do remote employees he’s chasing
his own thing that guy was amazing and
I’m super heartbroken that he left but
now we’re looking for somebody to
replace him with and what I look for is
I look for people that have done I don’t
actually don’t even look at their
college education I don’t even scan that
far down in the resume I just want to
know what are you doing what have you
accomplished and like can you put
together a comp like what is the word
I’m late I’m having a stroke
comprehensive is in the word but I’m
gonna stick with it cohesive there we go
can you put together a cohesive coherent
resume which you’d be shocked how few
people actually can so put that together
maybe a super brief cover letter maybe
you hit the person up on social whatever
anyway it is really easy if you’re
actually good it’s really easy to
convince other people that you’re
actually good so focus all your time and
energy on actually getting good in areas
of choice you need to work on your
weaknesses for example let’s say I let’s
say I am I’m lazy that scenario choice
that’s I mean I’m not naturally lazy I’m
just lazy it’s a choice so I need to
work on that because I in areas of
choices you can make
vast improvement and you can make fast
improve I’ve never heard this
distinction but yeah yeah yeah actually
helpful oh yeah in choices so attitude
does let’s have a lousy attitude one day
I wake up I said this isn’t getting me
anywhere
I gotta have a good attitude you can go
from a zero to a ten I mean omma also
we’ve seen people that you just say my
gosh overnight they just yeah got good
and happy
you don’t say okay that’s a choice vast
fast growth in choices
in giftedness DNA wiring your growth is
very very small and it’s very slow so I
think for example a person can maybe
increase their giftedness skillset maybe
two numbers Wow
so if I’m a if I’m a little bit above
average I was six if I really work hard
I can get become an eight but but an
eight is powerful yeah eight has a huge
return so what I tell people is in in
areas of giftedness that’s where you
have to work on your strengths if I’m a
two in something I’m very weak in a
skill if I worked hard I could only
become a force to be both laugh yeah
that’s why I tell people you gotta ask
yourself is it going to give me the
return so in the area of strengths
you’ve got to pour yourself into the
things that you’re already good at
because that’ll really set you apart
from average yeah but in areas of
choices go for those weaknesses because
you’re not don’t you know people that
are highly skilled but they have a lousy
attitude or they’re not soft
they’re not self discipline attitude and
they’re never gonna they’re never gonna
they’re never gonna get anywhere and
they’re not going to get anywhere
because they didn’t so in areas of
choices work on your weaknesses but in
areas of strengths and skills just work
on your strengths shame is far more
likely to cause destructive behaviors
than it is to cure it what we know is
that shame is highly correlated with
addiction violence aggression bullying
it’s not helpful to be ashamed for this
reason and I think this is really a core
thing that we need to get our heads and
hearts around as a culture shame
corrodes the part of us that believes we
can change so to change someone into
changing is like saying to them you are
horrible and worthless and you’re not
capable of change get better I have
interviewed over 600 men and women now
across the country about shame and
across the interviews men and women with
high levels of resilience to shame share
four things in common
the first is they physically recognize
when they’re in shame
they know what triggered it so let’s say
something happens at work I make a
mistake or something happens and that
warm wash comes over me you know that
if I can physically say oh my god this
is shame I’m in shame it’s very helpful
because we are not fit for human
consumption when we’re in shame we need
to pull away and get re grounded take
some deep breaths and figure out how to
respond one of the things that makes
shame worse is normally when we’re in it
we act out for example the mother that I
interviewed she fills her car up she
goes into the gas station she goes to
pay her credit cards declined the man
shames her in front of the other patrons
makes her leave her I think her wedding
band and her wallet and lead with just
an ATM card so she’s filled with shame
she gets in the car she slams the door
when she slams the door it wakes up her
three-year-old toddler who’s in the
backseat who starts screaming what
happens next
she starts screaming back shut up shut
up so now she’s in the shame of having
this credit card declined being
belittled in front of people and now
having to deal with you know the
struggle of on the horrible mom and why
am I taking this out of my child
so men and women with high levels of
resilience recognize physically when
they’re in shame and what triggered it
okay then they practice critical
awareness how realistic are the
expectations and messages that we put on
ourselves or that others put on us that
tell us who we’re supposed to be the
third thing is men and women with high
levels of resilience reach out we’ve got
to share our story so they talk about it
they talk about it you know we breathe
through it we recognize we’re in it and
then we call and say hey Patricia it’s
me you’re not gonna believe what
happened can you listen it’s it’s hard
and then we speak shame you know it’s I
try to explain to people the importance
of using the word shame and this is not
just laypeople this is mental health
professionals you know we’ve got to use
the word it’s different if I were to
call you and say Oh Patricia today I’m
so embarrassed that would be one thing
right but if I were to call you and say
Patricia it’s Brennan I’m really
struggling with some shame
that’s different it’s a different
conversation right shame cannot hold on
when we name it right so it’s not just
you know an academic pet peeve I want
everybody to get the semantics correct
men and women with high levels of shame
resilience use the word and talk about
the emotion know the emotional factor in
the story always try cuz you have been
breaking the business barriers very
often but but what what what what calls
to me is not whether a film is gonna
make a gazillion dollars mmm what calls
to me is is there an a deep urge in the
center of myself that only that film
will release and and then and and then
exercise and and that’s the only
condition I’ll direct a movie if I’m
doing a sequel of course if I’m doing
the lost world a secret of Jurassic Park
of course I know that the bar has been
raised because if it doesn’t make this X
amount of money everybody thinks it’s a
failure and there’s that added pressure
of great expectation the Indiana Jones
series they’re not sequels but on all
the other three Indiana Jones films that
I’ve directed there’s a tremendous level
of expectation and that’s nerve-racking
but but the fact that those movies are
successful and make a lot of money isn’t
why I decided to direct sequels to the
Indiana Jones series I feel a genuine
need to communicate with an audience and
it might just be the attention I didn’t
get as a kid I can’t come from anything
good but what I try and do is bring the
best information I can to the stage and
and broadcast it so I’m it’s reportage
from distant points from a fairly unique
standpoint and so basically I’m not
keeping it all to myself but I earnestly
try to us not about entertainment it’s
about communication warning broadcasting
omitting and trying to leave something
of myself with these with the audience
not just not mere entertainment it’s not
just making people laugh or not it’s
it’s got to hurt me it’s
got to leave lines in my face I don’t
like any artistic endeavor that doesn’t
extol a price on the one doing it
so I’m not looking to get through these
things okay these things are actually
very difficult and very hard on my
psyche which makes me think I’m doing
the right thing this little idea
explains why some organizations and some
leaders are able to inspire where others
aren’t let me define the terms really
quickly every single person every single
organization on the planet knows what
they do 100 percent some know how they
do it whether you call it your
differentiating value proposition or
your proprietary process or a USP but
very very few people or organizations
know why they do what they do and by why
I don’t mean to make a profit that’s a
result it’s always a result by why I
mean what’s your purpose what’s your
cause what’s your belief why does your
organization exist so when we see a kid
with a lemonade stand it’s different
than when we see a vending machine
selling lemonade even if it’s exactly
the same product because the story
around it is what people are paying for
so when I meet small business people all
I ask them is not what’s their balance
sheet but what’s their story why should
I pick you why do I care about what
you’re doing and if you start giving me
all this inside baseball statistics
about why you’re 2 percent better than
some other competitor
I’m already glazed over because that’s
not part of the way I see the world so I
kind of like half jokingly with with a
lot of people say that you know my job
is basically like to be to be the
assistant for the rest of the company
like my job is to make sure that like
you have what you need that it’s and
basically you have everything you need
to kick ass like that’s my job if you
don’t have that then let me know cuz I’m
not doing my job you know there are a
lot of things that are outside of your
control a lot of external circumstances
will depend like determine the success
of your idea whether you know the market
timing is right for this new kind of
service or whether people you know
whether a customer like the economy’s
right through for for your kind of
service right whether you meet the right
people who will finance your company
many many external circumstances are
like outside of your control and like
but will affect it how come in you have
to like be okay with that I’m not saying
you shouldn’t have a you know vision for
your idea or your product but you need
to be open to changes so there are a
number of decisions that we make every
day and on a product side there are
billion different features that we could
make so the hard part is really choosing
which ones to focus on which ones to
build and you only have a finite number
that you can’t actually execute on so
for us a lot of it is just listening to
the community and more importantly
understanding you know what features
they’re asking for but why are they
asking for these specific things what’s
the root problem they’re trying to solve
or goal that you’re trying to achieve
and a lot of that is based on actual
behavior so not just what they say but
what they do
you can’t ever sort of balance two
completely contradictory things as a
means of hedging you have to decide what
are you going to believe in and put all
of your energy behind that and that’s
that’s the those are the kinds of
strategic decisions and trade-offs that
you make every day as an entrepreneur
and it’s important that you create the
level of clarity and conviction to go
after an opportunity that isn’t hedging
you know lots of different ideas or lots
of different approaches because that’s
the surest way that you’ll never be good
at it sort of anything and I find even
with myself that it’s really hard to do
a Minimum Viable Product this minimum
that you’re constantly thinking no no it
really has to have this other partner it
really has to have this and then you
over build and then you have to
build II build which is very
disappointing so doing a Minimum Viable
Product is really important and it’s
even more minimum than you think it is
you’re really trying to solve a new
problem in a different way you have to
come to problems with beginner’s mind
right not knowing something can be a
very powerful tool in to accomplishing
it because you don’t know that it’s not
possible that’s what doing a startup is
not realizing that something is
impossible and doing it anyway
every time I’m having trouble every time
I’m like man I don’t think I can get to
where I’m going I just started looking
at the top I don’t look at the bad facts
all I do is I start searching
tell me about wealthy people facts about
wealthy people anything what are they
doing what do they buy it just gets me
out of my problem right it gets me to
think bigger you know the first plane I
bought I bought this plane because I saw
other wealthy people making moves I’m
not an irresponsible person okay like I
have always been a very frugal person
but the frugal was hurting me not
helping me your network is your net
worth how rich you can get has something
to do with who you’re hanging with how
rich you can think has something to do
with you who you’re hanging with okay
how smart you are has something to do
with your surroundings if you hang out
with dumb people you gonna end up dumb
if you hang out with junkies you’re
gonna end up being a junkie you hang out
with criminals I’m not talking about two
people to go to jail I’m talking about
all the people it’s your office right
now that cheek their employer and cheat
themselves you hang out with creme
crimps you end up being a Crim if you
want to build a network number one thing
commit to building a network a network
by definition is not if you’re building
a new network it’s not the people you’re
already with it’s how do I add people to
my network so number one you got to
commit to building a network number two
who do you want in the network who is it
most of you just go for more people like
you have already in your network I want
new people new characters new
personalities new thinking new ideas the
old adage
if you’re the smartest person in the
room you in the wrong room
and number three when you start building
this network up and you start meeting
the people okay number two is who do you
want to meet who who you an add to the
Met Network you go 9,000 people in a
room you don’t need to meet all 9,000
you need to meet maybe a list of 30 or
40 people who do you want to meet number
three when you meet them focus on them
not on you it shouldn’t be here’s my
card
I’m a chiropractor this is what I do can
I give you an adjustment
it should be like who are you how can I
help you what are you doing where do you
live okay what projects are you working
on how can I help you I’m not mr. mentor
I’m not the one who says let’s sit down
tell me how it’s going I’m gonna tell
you exactly how I am get off your ass
and get out there and sell something
I mean I’ve never been the okay I need a
mentor you know a lot of people look for
mentors thinking they’re gonna tell me
the shortcut mark you be my mentor you
know the way and they think I’m gonna go
convey some magics here’s the dust go go
go
it doesn’t work that way I still grind
I love the grind if you’re competing on
one of my businesses I’m gonna kick your
ass because I’m gonna I’ll grind you
right that’s what being an entrepreneur
that an entrepreneur is you’ve got to
get out there and do the work so when it
comes to how do you learn right because
that’s the question how do I learn this
stuff everybody everybody has got to go
through that process right I read our
I’m in a tech business I’m in media
business the entertainment business I’ve
got to try to prepare myself for all the
Shark Tank businesses I read three hours
plus a day right what everybody else is
getting a suntan or even when I’m
getting a suntan I’ve got I’m online or
I’ve got books I’m reading all I can but
we realized it pays to be a cockroach
and by that I mean it pays just to not
stop and just to not die like we thought
you know everything along the way it
tried to kill us right like all her
friends were like startups are dumb
you’re dumb your ideas are dumb and we
kind of just looked at all of them and
said whatever and build code Academy so
it pays not to quit go talk to people
who failed at what you’re doing and who
are no longer doing it there always are
those people so you started to startup
you know you look at the history of your
space I’m so surprised how many people I
talk to finders who have no idea the
history of their own space and there’s
some night there’s some nice naivete to
that in the sense that like you’re gonna
do that differently
and and there’s some truth to that but
like when you get down to to making it
work and now you’re into it already
you’ve kind of salus what you’re doing
and you have some problems then I’d go
talk to all these people who failed
because you’ll uncover oath works
things that you could drive you know I
looked at lots of companies and why I
thought they don’t succeed over time
we’ve had a more rapid turnover of
companies I said what did they
fundamentally do wrong then why are
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what does that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it I have a certain gene in my
body that allows me to understand what
someone else is saying when they say we
want to sell a lot of these things like
I don’t see selling a bunch of something
as the opposite of it being interesting
or important or meaningful I’ve always
had I’ve always seen it from both sides
you know and it’s a really interesting
place that I’m in right now like I you
do have to balance you know if you saw
my iTunes playlist I could I could I
don’t have a conversation with anybody
at Stereogum or pitchfork you know but
what I do with Columbia Records as the
artist that I am with the records that I
make under the contract
that I have I’m taking all of my
influences and I’m trying to convert
them into pop music that’s my job right
now it’s not the only thing I can do and
it’s not the only thing I will do but as
long as I’m still trying to make pop
songs I want to play by Poppa rules you
know III want to listen to top 20 and
figure out what’s going on I don’t want
to fall behind I’m trying to take all
the elements of music that I love that
I’m well versed in and convert them into
music that a lot of people can get into
I don’t know why I do that it’s a lot of
people can’t a lot of people find the
compromise maddening I see it as another
challenge and I see it as another talent
you know like the ultimate talent of
restraint I think great entrepreneurs
must have the curiosity to to kind of
metaphorically see around the corner
what’s coming
what can I anticipate that other people
don’t see and then you must have the
courage of your convictions to execute
the strategy I do believe that
organizations human organizations are
inherently unstable they will fall over
and you have to work to keep them
upright but they fall slowly most people
don’t notice it they let their success
they blind them they don’t see it
falling over the following takes place
low but the collapse is quick you have
to do constant assessment you have to
look for the hard truths there’s a lot
of conventional wisdom out there built
up over time and built through all the
this may be fully applicable to most of
the companies out there but before it’s
applied to your organization I highly
recommend that you question it because
it could be absolutely fatal like me
have to do everything three times before
we get it right thankfully I know that
so I know that I have to get up early
and and try it five times because the
eight year old will be able to get past
it in two times so I have to be on my
feet longer but at least I know it and
so I just go at stuff and it served me
very well
and that my resume is pretty varied and
I have a pretty interesting life you’ll
get to do different stuff and have a bit
of access because I just said yeah I’ll
try that I mean why would I hold back
the thing that I do at my company then
is very unusual is that we are
completely unreasonable without reason
without we don’t use yes I’m logical
okay yes I’m a sane person but when it
comes to achieving a target we we do it
with like we abandon reason and logic we
don’t talk about yeah but we never start
yeah but or no we can’t or we couldn’t
because or it didn’t happen because any
any time you’re talking any time you’re
making sense of why something didn’t
work we don’t have the budget we can’t
do that because yeah but we’re different
you are being reasonable the great
things that have happened on this planet
and continue to happen or because people
are unreasonable they literally abandon
reason and logic they defy the universe
now if you look around if you’re a
logical person if you’re a person has to
make sense of it beforehand then spend
some time looking around the universe
look at nature look at all the things
that are done everyday that literally
defy gravity the five possibilities the
five physics it’s all over the place if
you need to be reasonable now in my case
I don’t need to be reasonable because
there’s enough cases of super successful
people doing things that are amazing
whether it was a manufacturing a new
product or whether it was Steve Jobs
coming back to Apple and turning that
company around every day and we look at
the Amazon look what Amazon is done
okay now you look at it you like who
does a no-brainer make it make all
products available online now it’s a
no-brainer now it’s like it’s so logical
look at Velcro velcro is like god I
should have thought of that see but
beforehand it was completely out of
reason that you could stick things
together because they scratch one
another you understand what I’m saying
so look this is what I want you to try
try this in your life it’s gonna be very
difficult it’s one of the most difficult
things I do is being unreasonable
because all the people I’m surrounded by
are trying to make sense of why they
can’t do something quit making sense of
why you can’t do something and become
unreasonable
bow until you do do something I had no
idea I grew up in Pittsburgh my dad did
upholstery on cars so if you got a rip
in your car seat you took it to him
my mom had odd jobs from selling real
estate to making baskets and you know I
was just a normal kid but I was always
into business from as long as I could
remember I was selling something or
working on something trying to make
money and I just it just got me excited
to be a business person and it just took
off from there
I think success first of all is knowing
my purpose in life as I have watched and
observed successful people what I have
discovered about them is they really
have figured out why they’re here they
really do have their act together and
and and knowing their purpose in life is
a stability for them so that when
everyone else is rocking and rolling and
and and and things are a little unsteady
and people are kind of leaving the ship
and people are kind of abandoning their
causes with these people they hold
steady right throughout the storm
because they they have a true North Star
they truly are focused it becomes an it
comes an anchor in their life
that just holds them steady and the
anchor is a confidence based upon a
knowledge of purpose started playing the
guitar at the age of 12 I felt a passion
for it that it was the first real
passion that I that I that I had and I
and I can safely say because I feel and
I felt then that the word ambition has
become dirty
you know yeah because I’m Bishan somehow
I know I know cry I’ll probably be
crying about 10 so ambition was a dirty
word to me because it felt like you were
working for some gang or material or
some status or so I literally don’t
remember going through puberty because I
locked myself in a room at the age of 12
12 13 and I just played the guitar I
learned things off records and taught
myself how to play and it was my life
and it was the only solace it was the
only sanctuary it was the only security
it was the it was my first love what are
you gonna do when you wake up and you
feel lost you feel less than you feel
you feel a sense of either depression or
despair and no direction
what I do is this I show up I show up
man
buddy mom told me when I was super low
point in my life he said hey man show up
even if your life’s if your eyes are
bleeding and your life is low show up
anyway show up as acting turned out to
be all that you wanted it to be it’s
incredible it’s incredible you know I I
never knew that I could do it as a
career I never knew I it was the first
memory that I had it’s the first thing I
can think of as saying I want to be an
actor to my parents and if I hadn’t
lived in Los Angeles and been in such
close proximity to sort of the mecca of
moviemaking
if I didn’t have parents that said okay
we’ll drive you to auditions we didn’t
have the economic means to you know move
camp from Idaho to Los Angeles because
some snotty ten-year-old kids as a
Latina
we did at night after school I got to go
on auditions but it was always and I’ve
said this before it felt like an elite
group of people and it felt like I would
never belong to them so once I got the
opportunity to to for example get the
movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said Wow
now I’m able to not be able to steer the
course of my career I might be able to
have a career similar to these guys that
I’m you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know cuz it is
constantly dissatisfied in other words
first 45 years for sure I was completely
lost and somewhere between 45 and 51 I
started figuring out okay what am i
doing I started sort in my life out I
started getting some started doing some
courses that really really made a
difference in my life I’ve always been
in a self-improvement my whole life and
but it wasn’t until I was about 45 that
I really started discovering information
that could make me more confident me
more sure you know when I was 25 years
old was a young salesperson and I didn’t
like sales and and I and I got educated
on how to sell and I became very very
good at it I started to understand the
process the customer the objections the
rebuttal is how to follow up how to
handle the rejection and the
disappointment that discouraged how to
get over it but that didn’t help me
become more confident in me as a person
as an individual I was making money by
the time I was 31 I had a couple
businesses they were making money
probably had you know three four hundred
thousand dollars saved when I was thirty
31 years old because I was trying to
make a little money right
by the time I’m 33 I got it probably a
million dollars in a bank I still didn’t
feel good about
so I’m just nagging nagging like sense
of desperation and daddy’s depression
when I started working on me spiritually
that’s that’s when that’s when at 45 46
47 years old that’s when everything
changed for me like everything all the
expansion the confidence getting out in
the world maybe a little better
communicating than I was doing I’m not
perfect at it by any means now and I
started getting more certainty about Who
I am what I am where I’m going and why
I’m here
like if you don’t figure those things
out no amount of money no amount of
money in the world will will fill you up
know the private planes well the fancy
cars you have to know where you’re going
you realize along the way or once you’ve
won something or once you’ve made a lot
of money it’s like if you don’t enjoy
the journey that moment is so fleeting
it’s it’s gone in a second and if you
don’t have the inner mindset of loving
yourself of loving who you are of loving
what you do of wanting to make an impact
of wanting to help others of wanting to
improve someone else’s life like that
it’s honestly the most empty feeling if
you think that’s the only thing and I
remember I had this moment I had worked
so incredibly hard it had been like six
years of competing some people some
people compete and win right away and
they get these covers and you know
that’s just what I thought would happen
and six years later I’m still like not
winning not getting covers not nobody’s
noticing me and finally actually that
year something shifted for me that the
year that I won like swept everything
and what happened is the year prior to
that I had started training other people
go figure training them for stage really
training them a lot in my studio really
wanting other people to win like making
their wins my win and what happened is
their journey became so much mine and I
became so just a
immersed in making someone else’s life
better that that next year it was like I
was so fulfilled and happy and that just
radiated I knew that my purpose wasn’t
just the body I knew that my purpose was
so much bigger than this one thing that
all of a sudden I showed up on stage is
a totally different person literally
people were like who are you what
happened and I had this moment of I I
let go of thinking this was everything
and I actually learned that the journey
is about helping other people it’s about
you know really loving what you do and
who you are but loving the fact that you
get to do what you love for other people
and that just it flipped it literally
flipped on a dime for me and that that
was a moment of wow it’s never about the
titles those things are amazing don’t
get me wrong I love them I’m not gonna
lie but if you don’t do both if you
don’t use them or use them as a platform
for something they’re gonna be really
empty because they’re just a moment you
know I felt like the odds was against us
you know from the summer we just had so
many things going on our team we
shuffled in different lineups we
shuffled in different players we made a
trade at the day line and I can’t see
here right now I say that that that the
finals was a part of my thinking it was
not even when you saw me at one point
early in the season I think it was in
December or January and you just looked
at me like okay well now I know you what
you what you’re doing and it’s crazy
because right before you see me I had
already kind of hit that switch I was
like okay I’m not quite sure what we’re
gonna do with this ballclub
we’re not playing a basketball but you
can’t sell yourself short but to see I
can’t even lie to you seer and Sam but
we’d be a part of finals I would be
definitely lying to you if I said yes we
would be in the finals in January
February yeah you didn’t think that that
was the case at all it was that point
where I was like okay well the Cavs even
make the playoffs you know and I was
okay I’m not selling that conversation
no that’s just that’s ridiculous I got
to get into the postseason and I’ve
always said if I get into the postseason
no matter if I’m a 1 seed or a seed or
in this case a 4 seed
I believe that we can we can do
something and look at it we did
something we did something you talked
about turning the volume up on your
dream I want to know what that really
means like what are you saying in your
head it’s a brilliant metaphor the
notion that okay you’ve got all this
noise I’m gonna turn up the volume on my
dream it’s gonna drown it out but like
that the reality of that is what so this
is the thing I believe fully that every
single person is going out to chase
their dreams has those voices in their
head I think it’s part of the human
experience whether it’s fear or anxiety
whatever it may be that’s part of what
it means to be a human being so you know
for me it was my parents coming to this
country sacrificing for you it might be
completely different what I’ve learned
in hindsight is that not just with my
story with all these people who I
studied the key of taking that first
step the really daunting because the
first one’s always the hardest as you
know it’s not about trying to logically
argue with those voices in our head you
will never win against the voices in
your head if you try to argue with them
what I’ve learned is that if you instead
of focusing on the voices in the fears
you focus on the desires and I think no
matter what your dream is if you’re able
to find a larger purpose a larger impact
that lives beyond you all of a sudden
all of your bullsh that’s holding you
down becomes a lot less relevant
what’s the trait that you’ve cultivated
in yourself that you think is most
responsible for your success honestly
the the ability to love no matter what
that is not what I expected you to say
the ability to love no matter what
because I came from such a hateful
environment and I didn’t know
I didn’t know what was going on while I
was in insecurity I don’t love myself I
have a high hairline I’m gonna be bald
by the time I’m 20 and that’s all I’m
hearing my slightly crooked nose I don’t
love myself I don’t love my body
something to eat all this food like
coming from that environment and then
learning to love every aspect of myself
whether you like it or not and just
truly learning to love myself and then
being in a situation where I was in
business with someone that had a very
similar very similar path and very
similar growth of success but it seemed
like something was holding us both down
and I remember one day we were going on
a retreat and I looked in the mirror and
I say you know what him being a friend
to me has nothing to do with me being a
friend to him so I’m just gonna love no
matter what and I remember saying that
and something leapt out on my chest it
was like this weird thick and I felt
light I felt very different now that day
I posted this is before I was getting
thousands of likes and thousands of
shares that day I posted something on
Facebook I tagged maybe 48 people and
got maybe 30 something likes that’s when
nobody was messing with you boy yeah
and that weekend when we went on that
trip I was like you know him being a
friend to me has nothing to do with me
being a friend of him so I’m just gonna
love no matter what and I’m just going
no one state no one I will never give
anyone else permission to change who I
am and when I just made that decision to
love no matter what even if you hurt me
I know deep down inside that that’s not
really you and just to come from from
the place of loving no matter what and
really being able to accept people for
who they are how they are and how they
are not without any expectation
whatsoever three days later I went on
Facebook and I posted the exact same
message but I didn’t tag anybody but I
felt different feeling is the secret I
felt different where I was coming from
saying the exact same thing I posted it
was like four hundred and seventy five
likes like within like a hour
I’m like what the hell happened I was
speaking to my life coach at the time
Monica’s aunts and she was like well
what did you do different I was like
well I had this conversation she was
like she was like you released hate from
your heart and that was the grip hold
that you had resentment like what it
takes to hold on remember I told you
we’re not created to be keepers we’re
created to be givers you and I we can’t
hold that wide it’s got to come out
can’t hold like all that stuff that you
hold on to and I was holding on to
resentment but the power that it takes
to hold on to resentment is the same
power that’s needed to sustain at the
next level and I didn’t even know that I
was holding on to the what the universe
of the next level inside of that
resentment when I let that go
anything that I was a part of tripled it
within three months if you like what are
you doing what do you know how was the
only thing I did was just like at least
the resentment that was inside I’m not
very religious anymore you were I mean I
grew up Mormon when I was in high school
and I had a teacher tell me that if a
boy asked me to a dance and if he was
not going to church every Sunday I
should say no because that boy would
never be able to take me to the temple I
was like huh no not gonna do that I grew
up where we give respect to all people
and I grew up your parents raised you
like that yes and I have a family that
my own family doesn’t go to church every
Sunday so I wouldn’t choose someone else
over them right you know it was just
there’s a lot of things that would
happen and I just chose to ignore this
that I thought was dumb and and live and
practice the things that I loved I think
a lot of things are taught through shame
and guilt the religion absolutely you
know and I got to a point where I was
just that crosses over into all parts of
your life not just your religion
learning that or having that be a way of
teaching someone anything and from when
you’re very young that will stay with
you forever so I was always a very
guilty person over the dumbest stuff
I’ve got some funny stories actually
can’t tell why I mean I probably could
tell one now but like I could not I mean
I had so much guilt and every time I
went to church and my dad wasn’t there
people would ask me where’s your dad you
or if I was if I went boating with my
family on a Sunday and I go to church
the next vehicle where were you how’d
you get that sunburn oh you’re at the
lake on Sunday yeah with my family you
know there’s just there’s so many people
in religion that they just
just keep more guilt more shame more
guilt more shame and you can’t help but
that be something that you might
experience other things throughout life
where someone else doesn’t have to make
you feel guilty or feel shame you’ll do
it to yourself and you’re just holding
yourself back when in reality I would
rather focus on living further now
versus constantly making decisions based
on what might happen when I die and that’s where things changed for me
what I didn’t understand by being
determined to chase something by being
committed to it and what commitment is
commitment is staying true to what you
said you were going to do long after the
mood that you have said it in has left
you see people think commitment is
saying yes I’ll do it on the days when
it felt good but I’ve been committed to
everything that I ever started in my
life and I never stopped and I never
quit it and so by being committed to
everything that I started I finished it
it built the certain type of spirit it
built the certain type of mentality and
built the certain type of individual and
so now I couldn’t quit even if I wanted
to I couldn’t lay in the bed even if I
wanted to I couldn’t stop even if I
wanted to I had too much sweat equity in
my life and everything that I was doing
because I understood my existence wasn’t
about me I went from me to we long time
ago I understood the process is more
important than the product it wasn’t
about the outcome for me what that made
it to the NFL or not that was
inconsequential in God’s plan for my
life but I was going to fall in love
with that process because I understood
by falling in love with that process it
was going to turn me into a machine that
I have to want this to exist in the
world I get have to not so it’s a
similar rule just say if this was
successful and I had nothing and I got
no and I was not involved and I got no
money off it or it wasn’t what I wanted
to do well and that’s a great check I
think to know if you really feel good
about the idea and can be passionate
about it one of the things I advise
entrepreneurs to do is when you have an
idea a classic entrepreneurial impulse
is to hold the idea close to you and not
go tell you because all the ideas so
special right that’s almost always a
mistake go talk to why is that a mistake
yeah it’s a mistake because your actual
real competitive advantage is not that
you have this idea that you have locked
away in your closet which may or may not
be accurate you have no idea which it is
your actual competitive advantage is if
you’re assembling the intelligence
around does this idea work what is the
right team what is the right learnings
and we’re essentially in motion so many
things go wrong when you’re starting a
company and often I think people ask you
know what mistakes
should you avoid making
you know my answer the question is don’t
even bother trying to avoid mistakes
because you’re gonna make tons of
mistakes right and the the important
thing is actually learning quickly from
whatever mistakes you make and not
giving up right and I mean there are
things every single year of Facebook’s
existence that could have killed us or
made it so that it just seemed like
moving forward and making a lot of
progress just seemed intractable but you
just kind of bounce back and you learn
and nothing is impossible you just have
to kind of keep running through the
walls but advice to have the person did
to up there at their coefficient they’re
just up there ambition yeah boy you
gotta quit you got to quit saying
nonsense occult stuff like you know I’m
happy where I’m at we’re good we’re all
good you know this is just good
everything’s good and I’m better off
with somebody in that you got to
comparing yourself to other people you
got to quit talking like the
middle-class like like you’ve somehow
arrived because somebody in Iran is
suffering yeah you know you’re good
until you’re not there’s nobody watching
that gives enough money to charity yeah
okay everybody watching should be able
to give a million dollars a year to
charity but you can you know why you
can’t you would if you could but you
can’t because you didn’t yeah you didn’t
produce enough cuz by the way it’s not
your money anyway yeah somebody else
gave you the money and you pass it on
most of you like I’m really charitable
I’m really good but you never do enough
why because you never had enough yeah
and so so because you didn’t produce
enough because you didn’t work enough
because you didn’t expand enough so I
would just say to people look have some
loftier goals you’re going to as of
right now this moment you’re gonna focus
entirely on one thing getting so good
you cannot be ignored now what do I mean
by that getting so that you deliver
results deliver results for yourself to
deliver results for other people I would
just tell you every business owner on
the planet is looking for people that
can help them grow their business that’s
it they care about one thing and one
thing only can you deliver results so
the good news here is you can always
count on humans to be selfish and I
don’t mean that in a bad way I mean
they’re passionate about the things that
they’re passionate about they’re trying
to accomplish the things they’re trying
to accomplish and if you can show how
you can help with that people are gonna
want you no matter what I don’t give a
if you have a college education
like that is so irrelevant to me a
college education merely tells me that
you’ve been formally trained it does
tell me if you’re actually good now on a
resume can be very powerful cuz I’ll
look at that in a shorthand I’ll say oh
like they probably are ahead of somebody
that doesn’t have those things but if
you’re out in the real world getting
results I’m all for that and let me tell
you how fast you can convey that with
something like if I’m like right now hey
everybody
by the way PS if you’re a director of
marketing we want to hear from you
especially if you understand content
marketing so I think most people in this
community know that Jarrod has moved up
to San Jose
I don’t do remote employees he’s chasing
his own thing that guy was amazing and
I’m super heartbroken that he left but
now we’re looking for somebody to
replace him with and what I look for is
I look for people that have done I don’t
actually don’t even look at their
college education I don’t even scan that
far down in the resume I just want to
know what are you doing what have you
accomplished and like can you put
together a comp like what is the word
I’m late I’m having a stroke
comprehensive is in the word but I’m
gonna stick with it cohesive there we go
can you put together a cohesive coherent
resume which you’d be shocked how few
people actually can so put that together
maybe a super brief cover letter maybe
you hit the person up on social whatever
anyway it is really easy if you’re
actually good it’s really easy to
convince other people that you’re
actually good so focus all your time and
energy on actually getting good in areas
of choice you need to work on your
weaknesses for example let’s say I let’s
say I am I’m lazy that scenario choice
that’s I mean I’m not naturally lazy I’m
just lazy it’s a choice so I need to
work on that because I in areas of
choices you can make
vast improvement and you can make fast
improve I’ve never heard this
distinction but yeah yeah yeah actually
helpful oh yeah in choices so attitude
does let’s have a lousy attitude one day
I wake up I said this isn’t getting me
anywhere
I gotta have a good attitude you can go
from a zero to a ten I mean omma also
we’ve seen people that you just say my
gosh overnight they just yeah got good
and happy
you don’t say okay that’s a choice vast
fast growth in choices
in giftedness DNA wiring your growth is
very very small and it’s very slow so I
think for example a person can maybe
increase their giftedness skillset maybe
two numbers Wow
so if I’m a if I’m a little bit above
average I was six if I really work hard
I can get become an eight but but an
eight is powerful yeah eight has a huge
return so what I tell people is in in
areas of giftedness that’s where you
have to work on your strengths if I’m a
two in something I’m very weak in a
skill if I worked hard I could only
become a force to be both laugh yeah
that’s why I tell people you gotta ask
yourself is it going to give me the
return so in the area of strengths
you’ve got to pour yourself into the
things that you’re already good at
because that’ll really set you apart
from average yeah but in areas of
choices go for those weaknesses because
you’re not don’t you know people that
are highly skilled but they have a lousy
attitude or they’re not soft
they’re not self discipline attitude and
they’re never gonna they’re never gonna
they’re never gonna get anywhere and
they’re not going to get anywhere
because they didn’t so in areas of
choices work on your weaknesses but in
areas of strengths and skills just work
on your strengths shame is far more
likely to cause destructive behaviors
than it is to cure it what we know is
that shame is highly correlated with
addiction violence aggression bullying
it’s not helpful to be ashamed for this
reason and I think this is really a core
thing that we need to get our heads and
hearts around as a culture shame
corrodes the part of us that believes we
can change so to change someone into
changing is like saying to them you are
horrible and worthless and you’re not
capable of change get better I have
interviewed over 600 men and women now
across the country about shame and
across the interviews men and women with
high levels of resilience to shame share
four things in common
the first is they physically recognize
when they’re in shame
they know what triggered it so let’s say
something happens at work I make a
mistake or something happens and that
warm wash comes over me you know that
if I can physically say oh my god this
is shame I’m in shame it’s very helpful
because we are not fit for human
consumption when we’re in shame we need
to pull away and get re grounded take
some deep breaths and figure out how to
respond one of the things that makes
shame worse is normally when we’re in it
we act out for example the mother that I
interviewed she fills her car up she
goes into the gas station she goes to
pay her credit cards declined the man
shames her in front of the other patrons
makes her leave her I think her wedding
band and her wallet and lead with just
an ATM card so she’s filled with shame
she gets in the car she slams the door
when she slams the door it wakes up her
three-year-old toddler who’s in the
backseat who starts screaming what
happens next
she starts screaming back shut up shut
up so now she’s in the shame of having
this credit card declined being
belittled in front of people and now
having to deal with you know the
struggle of on the horrible mom and why
am I taking this out of my child
so men and women with high levels of
resilience recognize physically when
they’re in shame and what triggered it
okay then they practice critical
awareness how realistic are the
expectations and messages that we put on
ourselves or that others put on us that
tell us who we’re supposed to be the
third thing is men and women with high
levels of resilience reach out we’ve got
to share our story so they talk about it
they talk about it you know we breathe
through it we recognize we’re in it and
then we call and say hey Patricia it’s
me you’re not gonna believe what
happened can you listen it’s it’s hard
and then we speak shame you know it’s I
try to explain to people the importance
of using the word shame and this is not
just laypeople this is mental health
professionals you know we’ve got to use
the word it’s different if I were to
call you and say Oh Patricia today I’m
so embarrassed that would be one thing
right but if I were to call you and say
Patricia it’s Brennan I’m really
struggling with some shame
that’s different it’s a different
conversation right shame cannot hold on
when we name it right so it’s not just
you know an academic pet peeve I want
everybody to get the semantics correct
men and women with high levels of shame
resilience use the word and talk about
the emotion know the emotional factor in
the story always try cuz you have been
breaking the business barriers very
often but but what what what what calls
to me is not whether a film is gonna
make a gazillion dollars mmm what calls
to me is is there an a deep urge in the
center of myself that only that film
will release and and then and and then
exercise and and that’s the only
condition I’ll direct a movie if I’m
doing a sequel of course if I’m doing
the lost world a secret of Jurassic Park
of course I know that the bar has been
raised because if it doesn’t make this X
amount of money everybody thinks it’s a
failure and there’s that added pressure
of great expectation the Indiana Jones
series they’re not sequels but on all
the other three Indiana Jones films that
I’ve directed there’s a tremendous level
of expectation and that’s nerve-racking
but but the fact that those movies are
successful and make a lot of money isn’t
why I decided to direct sequels to the
Indiana Jones series I feel a genuine
need to communicate with an audience and
it might just be the attention I didn’t
get as a kid I can’t come from anything
good but what I try and do is bring the
best information I can to the stage and
and broadcast it so I’m it’s reportage
from distant points from a fairly unique
standpoint and so basically I’m not
keeping it all to myself but I earnestly
try to us not about entertainment it’s
about communication warning broadcasting
omitting and trying to leave something
of myself with these with the audience
not just not mere entertainment it’s not
just making people laugh or not it’s
it’s got to hurt me it’s
got to leave lines in my face I don’t
like any artistic endeavor that doesn’t
extol a price on the one doing it
so I’m not looking to get through these
things okay these things are actually
very difficult and very hard on my
psyche which makes me think I’m doing
the right thing this little idea
explains why some organizations and some
leaders are able to inspire where others
aren’t let me define the terms really
quickly every single person every single
organization on the planet knows what
they do 100 percent some know how they
do it whether you call it your
differentiating value proposition or
your proprietary process or a USP but
very very few people or organizations
know why they do what they do and by why
I don’t mean to make a profit that’s a
result it’s always a result by why I
mean what’s your purpose what’s your
cause what’s your belief why does your
organization exist so when we see a kid
with a lemonade stand it’s different
than when we see a vending machine
selling lemonade even if it’s exactly
the same product because the story
around it is what people are paying for
so when I meet small business people all
I ask them is not what’s their balance
sheet but what’s their story why should
I pick you why do I care about what
you’re doing and if you start giving me
all this inside baseball statistics
about why you’re 2 percent better than
some other competitor
I’m already glazed over because that’s
not part of the way I see the world so I
kind of like half jokingly with with a
lot of people say that you know my job
is basically like to be to be the
assistant for the rest of the company
like my job is to make sure that like
you have what you need that it’s and
basically you have everything you need
to kick ass like that’s my job if you
don’t have that then let me know cuz I’m
not doing my job you know there are a
lot of things that are outside of your
control a lot of external circumstances
will depend like determine the success
of your idea whether you know the market
timing is right for this new kind of
service or whether people you know
whether a customer like the economy’s
right through for for your kind of
service right whether you meet the right
people who will finance your company
many many external circumstances are
like outside of your control and like
but will affect it how come in you have
to like be okay with that I’m not saying
you shouldn’t have a you know vision for
your idea or your product but you need
to be open to changes so there are a
number of decisions that we make every
day and on a product side there are
billion different features that we could
make so the hard part is really choosing
which ones to focus on which ones to
build and you only have a finite number
that you can’t actually execute on so
for us a lot of it is just listening to
the community and more importantly
understanding you know what features
they’re asking for but why are they
asking for these specific things what’s
the root problem they’re trying to solve
or goal that you’re trying to achieve
and a lot of that is based on actual
behavior so not just what they say but
what they do
you can’t ever sort of balance two
completely contradictory things as a
means of hedging you have to decide what
are you going to believe in and put all
of your energy behind that and that’s
that’s the those are the kinds of
strategic decisions and trade-offs that
you make every day as an entrepreneur
and it’s important that you create the
level of clarity and conviction to go
after an opportunity that isn’t hedging
you know lots of different ideas or lots
of different approaches because that’s
the surest way that you’ll never be good
at it sort of anything and I find even
with myself that it’s really hard to do
a Minimum Viable Product this minimum
that you’re constantly thinking no no it
really has to have this other partner it
really has to have this and then you
over build and then you have to
build II build which is very
disappointing so doing a Minimum Viable
Product is really important and it’s
even more minimum than you think it is
you’re really trying to solve a new
problem in a different way you have to
come to problems with beginner’s mind
right not knowing something can be a
very powerful tool in to accomplishing
it because you don’t know that it’s not
possible that’s what doing a startup is
not realizing that something is
impossible and doing it anyway
every time I’m having trouble every time
I’m like man I don’t think I can get to
where I’m going I just started looking
at the top I don’t look at the bad facts
all I do is I start searching
tell me about wealthy people facts about
wealthy people anything what are they
doing what do they buy it just gets me
out of my problem right it gets me to
think bigger you know the first plane I
bought I bought this plane because I saw
other wealthy people making moves I’m
not an irresponsible person okay like I
have always been a very frugal person
but the frugal was hurting me not
helping me your network is your net
worth how rich you can get has something
to do with who you’re hanging with how
rich you can think has something to do
with you who you’re hanging with okay
how smart you are has something to do
with your surroundings if you hang out
with dumb people you gonna end up dumb
if you hang out with junkies you’re
gonna end up being a junkie you hang out
with criminals I’m not talking about two
people to go to jail I’m talking about
all the people it’s your office right
now that cheek their employer and cheat
themselves you hang out with creme
crimps you end up being a Crim if you
want to build a network number one thing
commit to building a network a network
by definition is not if you’re building
a new network it’s not the people you’re
already with it’s how do I add people to
my network so number one you got to
commit to building a network number two
who do you want in the network who is it
most of you just go for more people like
you have already in your network I want
new people new characters new
personalities new thinking new ideas the
old adage
if you’re the smartest person in the
room you in the wrong room
and number three when you start building
this network up and you start meeting
the people okay number two is who do you
want to meet who who you an add to the
Met Network you go 9,000 people in a
room you don’t need to meet all 9,000
you need to meet maybe a list of 30 or
40 people who do you want to meet number
three when you meet them focus on them
not on you it shouldn’t be here’s my
card
I’m a chiropractor this is what I do can
I give you an adjustment
it should be like who are you how can I
help you what are you doing where do you
live okay what projects are you working
on how can I help you I’m not mr. mentor
I’m not the one who says let’s sit down
tell me how it’s going I’m gonna tell
you exactly how I am get off your ass
and get out there and sell something
I mean I’ve never been the okay I need a
mentor you know a lot of people look for
mentors thinking they’re gonna tell me
the shortcut mark you be my mentor you
know the way and they think I’m gonna go
convey some magics here’s the dust go go
go
it doesn’t work that way I still grind
I love the grind if you’re competing on
one of my businesses I’m gonna kick your
ass because I’m gonna I’ll grind you
right that’s what being an entrepreneur
that an entrepreneur is you’ve got to
get out there and do the work so when it
comes to how do you learn right because
that’s the question how do I learn this
stuff everybody everybody has got to go
through that process right I read our
I’m in a tech business I’m in media
business the entertainment business I’ve
got to try to prepare myself for all the
Shark Tank businesses I read three hours
plus a day right what everybody else is
getting a suntan or even when I’m
getting a suntan I’ve got I’m online or
I’ve got books I’m reading all I can but
we realized it pays to be a cockroach
and by that I mean it pays just to not
stop and just to not die like we thought
you know everything along the way it
tried to kill us right like all her
friends were like startups are dumb
you’re dumb your ideas are dumb and we
kind of just looked at all of them and
said whatever and build code Academy so
it pays not to quit go talk to people
who failed at what you’re doing and who
are no longer doing it there always are
those people so you started to startup
you know you look at the history of your
space I’m so surprised how many people I
talk to finders who have no idea the
history of their own space and there’s
some night there’s some nice naivete to
that in the sense that like you’re gonna
do that differently
and and there’s some truth to that but
like when you get down to to making it
work and now you’re into it already
you’ve kind of salus what you’re doing
and you have some problems then I’d go
talk to all these people who failed
because you’ll uncover oath works
things that you could drive you know I
looked at lots of companies and why I
thought they don’t succeed over time
we’ve had a more rapid turnover of
companies I said what did they
fundamentally do wrong then why are
those companies all do wrong and they
usually it’s just they missed the future
and so I think for me I just tried to
focus on that and say what does that
future really gonna be and how do we
create it I have a certain gene in my
body that allows me to understand what
someone else is saying when they say we
want to sell a lot of these things like
I don’t see selling a bunch of something
as the opposite of it being interesting
or important or meaningful I’ve always
had I’ve always seen it from both sides
you know and it’s a really interesting
place that I’m in right now like I you
do have to balance you know if you saw
my iTunes playlist I could I could I
don’t have a conversation with anybody
at Stereogum or pitchfork you know but
what I do with Columbia Records as the
artist that I am with the records that I
make under the contract
that I have I’m taking all of my
influences and I’m trying to convert
them into pop music that’s my job right
now it’s not the only thing I can do and
it’s not the only thing I will do but as
long as I’m still trying to make pop
songs I want to play by Poppa rules you
know III want to listen to top 20 and
figure out what’s going on I don’t want
to fall behind I’m trying to take all
the elements of music that I love that
I’m well versed in and convert them into
music that a lot of people can get into
I don’t know why I do that it’s a lot of
people can’t a lot of people find the
compromise maddening I see it as another
challenge and I see it as another talent
you know like the ultimate talent of
restraint I think great entrepreneurs
must have the curiosity to to kind of
metaphorically see around the corner
what’s coming
what can I anticipate that other people
don’t see and then you must have the
courage of your convictions to execute
the strategy I do believe that
organizations human organizations are
inherently unstable they will fall over
and you have to work to keep them
upright but they fall slowly most people
don’t notice it they let their success
they blind them they don’t see it
falling over the following takes place
low but the collapse is quick you have
to do constant assessment you have to
look for the hard truths there’s a lot
of conventional wisdom out there built
up over time and built through all the
this may be fully applicable to most of
the companies out there but before it’s
applied to your organization I highly
recommend that you question it because
it could be absolutely fatal like me
have to do everything three times before
we get it right thankfully I know that
so I know that I have to get up early
and and try it five times because the
eight year old will be able to get past
it in two times so I have to be on my
feet longer but at least I know it and
so I just go at stuff and it served me
very well
and that my resume is pretty varied and
I have a pretty interesting life you’ll
get to do different stuff and have a bit
of access because I just said yeah I’ll
try that I mean why would I hold back
the thing that I do at my company then
is very unusual is that we are
completely unreasonable without reason
without we don’t use yes I’m logical
okay yes I’m a sane person but when it
comes to achieving a target we we do it
with like we abandon reason and logic we
don’t talk about yeah but we never start
yeah but or no we can’t or we couldn’t
because or it didn’t happen because any
any time you’re talking any time you’re
making sense of why something didn’t
work we don’t have the budget we can’t
do that because yeah but we’re different
you are being reasonable the great
things that have happened on this planet
and continue to happen or because people
are unreasonable they literally abandon
reason and logic they defy the universe
now if you look around if you’re a
logical person if you’re a person has to
make sense of it beforehand then spend
some time looking around the universe
look at nature look at all the things
that are done everyday that literally
defy gravity the five possibilities the
five physics it’s all over the place if
you need to be reasonable now in my case
I don’t need to be reasonable because
there’s enough cases of super successful
people doing things that are amazing
whether it was a manufacturing a new
product or whether it was Steve Jobs
coming back to Apple and turning that
company around every day and we look at
the Amazon look what Amazon is done
okay now you look at it you like who
does a no-brainer make it make all
products available online now it’s a
no-brainer now it’s like it’s so logical
look at Velcro velcro is like god I
should have thought of that see but
beforehand it was completely out of
reason that you could stick things
together because they scratch one
another you understand what I’m saying
so look this is what I want you to try
try this in your life it’s gonna be very
difficult it’s one of the most difficult
things I do is being unreasonable
because all the people I’m surrounded by
are trying to make sense of why they
can’t do something quit making sense of
why you can’t do something and become
unreasonable
bow until you do do something I had no
idea I grew up in Pittsburgh my dad did
upholstery on cars so if you got a rip
in your car seat you took it to him
my mom had odd jobs from selling real
estate to making baskets and you know I
was just a normal kid but I was always
into business from as long as I could
remember I was selling something or
working on something trying to make
money and I just it just got me excited
to be a business person and it just took
off from there
I think success first of all is knowing
my purpose in life as I have watched and
observed successful people what I have
discovered about them is they really
have figured out why they’re here they
really do have their act together and
and and knowing their purpose in life is
a stability for them so that when
everyone else is rocking and rolling and
and and and things are a little unsteady
and people are kind of leaving the ship
and people are kind of abandoning their
causes with these people they hold
steady right throughout the storm
because they they have a true North Star
they truly are focused it becomes an it
comes an anchor in their life
that just holds them steady and the
anchor is a confidence based upon a
knowledge of purpose started playing the
guitar at the age of 12 I felt a passion
for it that it was the first real
passion that I that I that I had and I
and I can safely say because I feel and
I felt then that the word ambition has
become dirty
you know yeah because I’m Bishan somehow
I know I know cry I’ll probably be
crying about 10 so ambition was a dirty
word to me because it felt like you were
working for some gang or material or
some status or so I literally don’t
remember going through puberty because I
locked myself in a room at the age of 12
12 13 and I just played the guitar I
learned things off records and taught
myself how to play and it was my life
and it was the only solace it was the
only sanctuary it was the only security
it was the it was my first love what are
you gonna do when you wake up and you
feel lost you feel less than you feel
you feel a sense of either depression or
despair and no direction
what I do is this I show up I show up
man
buddy mom told me when I was super low
point in my life he said hey man show up
even if your life’s if your eyes are
bleeding and your life is low show up
anyway show up as acting turned out to
be all that you wanted it to be it’s
incredible it’s incredible you know I I
never knew that I could do it as a
career I never knew I it was the first
memory that I had it’s the first thing I
can think of as saying I want to be an
actor to my parents and if I hadn’t
lived in Los Angeles and been in such
close proximity to sort of the mecca of
moviemaking
if I didn’t have parents that said okay
we’ll drive you to auditions we didn’t
have the economic means to you know move
camp from Idaho to Los Angeles because
some snotty ten-year-old kids as a
Latina
we did at night after school I got to go
on auditions but it was always and I’ve
said this before it felt like an elite
group of people and it felt like I would
never belong to them so once I got the
opportunity to to for example get the
movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said Wow
now I’m able to not be able to steer the
course of my career I might be able to
have a career similar to these guys that
I’m you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know cuz it is
constantly dissatisfied in other words
first 45 years for sure I was completely
lost and somewhere between 45 and 51 I
started figuring out okay what am i
doing I started sort in my life out I
started getting some started doing some
courses that really really made a
difference in my life I’ve always been
in a self-improvement my whole life and
but it wasn’t until I was about 45 that
I really started discovering information
that could make me more confident me
more sure you know when I was 25 years
old was a young salesperson and I didn’t
like sales and and I and I got educated
on how to sell and I became very very
good at it I started to understand the
process the customer the objections the
rebuttal is how to follow up how to
handle the rejection and the
disappointment that discouraged how to
get over it but that didn’t help me
become more confident in me as a person
as an individual I was making money by
the time I was 31 I had a couple
businesses they were making money
probably had you know three four hundred
thousand dollars saved when I was thirty
31 years old because I was trying to
make a little money right
by the time I’m 33 I got it probably a
million dollars in a bank I still didn’t
feel good about
so I’m just nagging nagging like sense
of desperation and daddy’s depression
when I started working on me spiritually
that’s that’s when that’s when at 45 46
47 years old that’s when everything
changed for me like everything all the
expansion the confidence getting out in
the world maybe a little better
communicating than I was doing I’m not
perfect at it by any means now and I
started getting more certainty about Who
I am what I am where I’m going and why
I’m here
like if you don’t figure those things
out no amount of money no amount of
money in the world will will fill you up
know the private planes well the fancy
cars you have to know where you’re going
you realize along the way or once you’ve
won something or once you’ve made a lot
of money it’s like if you don’t enjoy
the journey that moment is so fleeting
it’s it’s gone in a second and if you
don’t have the inner mindset of loving
yourself of loving who you are of loving
what you do of wanting to make an impact
of wanting to help others of wanting to
improve someone else’s life like that
it’s honestly the most empty feeling if
you think that’s the only thing and I
remember I had this moment I had worked
so incredibly hard it had been like six
years of competing some people some
people compete and win right away and
they get these covers and you know
that’s just what I thought would happen
and six years later I’m still like not
winning not getting covers not nobody’s
noticing me and finally actually that
year something shifted for me that the
year that I won like swept everything
and what happened is the year prior to
that I had started training other people
go figure training them for stage really
training them a lot in my studio really
wanting other people to win like making
their wins my win and what happened is
their journey became so much mine and I
became so just a
immersed in making someone else’s life
better that that next year it was like I
was so fulfilled and happy and that just
radiated I knew that my purpose wasn’t
just the body I knew that my purpose was
so much bigger than this one thing that
all of a sudden I showed up on stage is
a totally different person literally
people were like who are you what
happened and I had this moment of I I
let go of thinking this was everything
and I actually learned that the journey
is about helping other people it’s about
you know really loving what you do and
who you are but loving the fact that you
get to do what you love for other people
and that just it flipped it literally
flipped on a dime for me and that that
was a moment of wow it’s never about the
titles those things are amazing don’t
get me wrong I love them I’m not gonna
lie but if you don’t do both if you
don’t use them or use them as a platform
for something they’re gonna be really
empty because they’re just a moment you
know I felt like the odds was against us
you know from the summer we just had so
many things going on our team we
shuffled in different lineups we
shuffled in different players we made a
trade at the day line and I can’t see
here right now I say that that that the
finals was a part of my thinking it was
not even when you saw me at one point
early in the season I think it was in
December or January and you just looked
at me like okay well now I know you what
you what you’re doing and it’s crazy
because right before you see me I had
already kind of hit that switch I was
like okay I’m not quite sure what we’re
gonna do with this ballclub
we’re not playing a basketball but you
can’t sell yourself short but to see I
can’t even lie to you seer and Sam but
we’d be a part of finals I would be
definitely lying to you if I said yes we
would be in the finals in January
February yeah you didn’t think that that
was the case at all it was that point
where I was like okay well the Cavs even
make the playoffs you know and I was
okay I’m not selling that conversation
no that’s just that’s ridiculous I got
to get into the postseason and I’ve
always said if I get into the postseason
no matter if I’m a 1 seed or a seed or
in this case a 4 seed
I believe that we can we can do
something and look at it we did
something we did something you talked
about turning the volume up on your
dream I want to know what that really
means like what are you saying in your
head it’s a brilliant metaphor the
notion that okay you’ve got all this
noise I’m gonna turn up the volume on my
dream it’s gonna drown it out but like
that the reality of that is what so this
is the thing I believe fully that every
single person is going out to chase
their dreams has those voices in their
head I think it’s part of the human
experience whether it’s fear or anxiety
whatever it may be that’s part of what
it means to be a human being so you know
for me it was my parents coming to this
country sacrificing for you it might be
completely different what I’ve learned
in hindsight is that not just with my
story with all these people who I
studied the key of taking that first
step the really daunting because the
first one’s always the hardest as you
know it’s not about trying to logically
argue with those voices in our head you
will never win against the voices in
your head if you try to argue with them
what I’ve learned is that if you instead
of focusing on the voices in the fears
you focus on the desires and I think no
matter what your dream is if you’re able
to find a larger purpose a larger impact
that lives beyond you all of a sudden
all of your bullsh that’s holding you
down becomes a lot less relevant
what’s the trait that you’ve cultivated
in yourself that you think is most
responsible for your success honestly
the the ability to love no matter what
that is not what I expected you to say
the ability to love no matter what
because I came from such a hateful
environment and I didn’t know
I didn’t know what was going on while I
was in insecurity I don’t love myself I
have a high hairline I’m gonna be bald
by the time I’m 20 and that’s all I’m
hearing my slightly crooked nose I don’t
love myself I don’t love my body
something to eat all this food like
coming from that environment and then
learning to love every aspect of myself
whether you like it or not and just
truly learning to love myself and then
being in a situation where I was in
business with someone that had a very
similar very similar path and very
similar growth of success but it seemed
like something was holding us both down
and I remember one day we were going on
a retreat and I looked in the mirror and
I say you know what him being a friend
to me has nothing to do with me being a
friend to him so I’m just gonna love no
matter what and I remember saying that
and something leapt out on my chest it
was like this weird thick and I felt
light I felt very different now that day
I posted this is before I was getting
thousands of likes and thousands of
shares that day I posted something on
Facebook I tagged maybe 48 people and
got maybe 30 something likes that’s when
nobody was messing with you boy yeah
and that weekend when we went on that
trip I was like you know him being a
friend to me has nothing to do with me
being a friend of him so I’m just gonna
love no matter what and I’m just going
no one state no one I will never give
anyone else permission to change who I
am and when I just made that decision to
love no matter what even if you hurt me
I know deep down inside that that’s not
really you and just to come from from
the place of loving no matter what and
really being able to accept people for
who they are how they are and how they
are not without any expectation
whatsoever three days later I went on
Facebook and I posted the exact same
message but I didn’t tag anybody but I
felt different feeling is the secret I
felt different where I was coming from
saying the exact same thing I posted it
was like four hundred and seventy five
likes like within like a hour
I’m like what the hell happened I was
speaking to my life coach at the time
Monica’s aunts and she was like well
what did you do different I was like
well I had this conversation she was
like she was like you released hate from
your heart and that was the grip hold
that you had resentment like what it
takes to hold on remember I told you
we’re not created to be keepers we’re
created to be givers you and I we can’t
hold that wide it’s got to come out
can’t hold like all that stuff that you
hold on to and I was holding on to
resentment but the power that it takes
to hold on to resentment is the same
power that’s needed to sustain at the
next level and I didn’t even know that I
was holding on to the what the universe
of the next level inside of that
resentment when I let that go
anything that I was a part of tripled it
within three months if you like what are
you doing what do you know how was the
only thing I did was just like at least
the resentment that was inside I’m not
very religious anymore you were I mean I
grew up Mormon when I was in high school
and I had a teacher tell me that if a
boy asked me to a dance and if he was
not going to church every Sunday I
should say no because that boy would
never be able to take me to the temple I
was like huh no not gonna do that I grew
up where we give respect to all people
and I grew up your parents raised you
like that yes and I have a family that
my own family doesn’t go to church every
Sunday so I wouldn’t choose someone else
over them right you know it was just
there’s a lot of things that would
happen and I just chose to ignore this
that I thought was dumb and and live and
practice the things that I loved I think
a lot of things are taught through shame
and guilt the religion absolutely you
know and I got to a point where I was
just that crosses over into all parts of
your life not just your religion
learning that or having that be a way of
teaching someone anything and from when
you’re very young that will stay with
you forever so I was always a very
guilty person over the dumbest stuff
I’ve got some funny stories actually
can’t tell why I mean I probably could
tell one now but like I could not I mean
I had so much guilt and every time I
went to church and my dad wasn’t there
people would ask me where’s your dad you
or if I was if I went boating with my
family on a Sunday and I go to church
the next vehicle where were you how’d
you get that sunburn oh you’re at the
lake on Sunday yeah with my family you
know there’s just there’s so many people
in religion that they just
just keep more guilt more shame more
guilt more shame and you can’t help but
that be something that you might
experience other things throughout life
where someone else doesn’t have to make
you feel guilty or feel shame you’ll do
it to yourself and you’re just holding
yourself back when in reality I would
rather focus on living further now
versus constantly making decisions based
on what might happen when I die and that’s where things changed for me
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