whenever people fail to achieve their
goals 99.9% of time you ask him why
they’ll tell you it’s because of a lack
of resources that’s what all these
things are I didn’t have the support
right I didn’t have the money we didn’t
have the time we didn’t have this we
never that there’s a resource that
people believe is missing and that
resource belief structure then keeps
people from ever being able to really
lead because what leaders do is they
find a way to maximize whatever
resources they have have littles they
maybe and they don’t believe in limited
resources I’ll give you an example take
a business example to start with in 1974
I can’t even saw him Walton had built
his little company up he capable that
idea started with $20,000 and I think in
1962 if I remember right but by 1974
within 12 years he had 78 stores and you
know I did it in the middle of the night
he drive across border and he’d go and
study other people’s stores he buy
everything the cheapest he could in the
middle of the night he’d go to the
people’s stores whatever was working he
figured out success leaves Clues he came
back and did it in his store whatever
was working in any store in any
competitor anywhere he could do it he
did it
so he forgot to maximize the little
resources he had his twenty thousand
built 78 stores and if you read any of
the people following him the company’s
gone public in that year they were all
saying this is it he’s maximized his
resources I mean only have so much money
there’s only so many cities that are
gonna appeal to this discounting
mentality right this is it this is all
he can do and the word of Wall Street
was self now what’s interesting is at
that time you look at Sears and Kmart
and they were a gargantuan companies
weren’t that 20 30 40 50 times a hundred
times his size or more probably and at
that time they were the leaders and they
knew what’s gonna happen but two things
change yes or no did he suddenly get
mass amounts of capital no here’s what
they didn’t understand Sam Walton now or
the Walton organization Walmart is the
most successful retailing operation on
earth and when you talk about Bill Gates
being the richest man in the world
that’s only true because Sam’s fortune
has divided up amongst a bunch of
different family members you put them
together they dwarf bill gay
Sam Walton did this how did he do it
what people underestimated is that this
guy could go to 4,400 stores do 250
billion
where’s Kmart today and they’ve been
shrinking all women shrieking and he’s
the dominant force on earth here’s the
thing he understood resources are
interesting but the ultimate resources
are the feelings of emotion that make
you resourceful think of it this way
resourcefulness is the ultimate resource
what do I mean what are the emotions
that make all this possible what’s the
fuel that takes an idea from being in
your head when you wouldn’t you’ll
actually know what to do how many got an
idea for example was a great idea you’re
excited about it and then you didn’t do
anything one day there you saw it on the
Shelf you saw it somewhere someone stole
your idea how many had this happened say
I the only one seeing you and that
person was not that they had more
resources they were more resourceful
when people are beset with a catastrophe
like let’s say the death of their father
that they are prone to use that as an
excuse for not going about the business
that they should be going about because
they can say to themselves well I would
accept and accept there’s always good
reasons I mean believe me there’s always
good reasons for not doing what you
should that’s for sure the reasons pile
up day after day to not do what you
should especially because you’re you’re
aiming at things in the future you can
put them off and definitely right
because of the demands of the day like
there’s no excuse whatsoever for not
getting at what it is that you should be
doing it’s absolutely reprehensible to
justify you’re in action with a
catastrophe that extracts mercy from
other people right there’s a tricky
tricky game that’s going well of course
I can’t do that look at the terrible
thing that’s just happened to me it’s
see how okay I understand you’re
absolved of any necessity to move
forward because of your current
catastrophe it’s like well actually
you’re not and it’s rather rude of you
to use it as an excuse and it’s
certainly counterproductive the bravery
and discipline to say no to you to your
many good opportunities what destroys a
great
company is actually opportunity bloating
too many good opportunities so literally
you diffuse your team’s bandwidth and
you get distracted you see with so many
companies right now they they sort of
found their sweet pocket and they were
absolutely winning in their marketplace
and they decided to go hmm we’ve got
this app that is really changing the
game and owning the marketplace let’s
get into food delivery let’s get into
this let’s get into that it happened to
General Electric as well and you
probably know they decided at one point
if we can’t be one or two in any market
we’re gonna get out of that market
that’s the key point I’m trying to make
no you’re mighty mission no your
monomaniacal focus and then have the
discipline to say no to everything else
so you can lock and load on your finest
opportunity to completely change the
game it was 25 or so I probably weighed
about 138 pounds I smoked like a pack of
cigarettes day I drank tremendous amount
of alcohol I was from northern Alberta
this rough little town up and northern
Alberta called Fairview and you know
there were long winters there and my
friends were heavy drinkers and most of
them dropped out of school by the time
they were 15 or 16 went off to work on
the oil rigs and you know it was a rough
town and we drank a lot I started when I
was 14 and you know and so I was I had a
lot of bad habits let’s say and things
that were and I wasn’t in great shape
physically and I was also still
intellectually obsessed by as I am now
and so that would have been that would
have been in 85 but when I but I decided
around that about 85 84 or something
like that maybe a little earlier that I
was really going to try to get my act
together and so I started doing that I
you know I first of all I quit smoking
well that took a long time because I
eventually had to quit drinking to in
order to quit smoking and I started
working out starting playing sports
which I’d never done I had a fine town
when I was a kid and but
I needed really to get disciplined and I
had to do it because I was working on
these hard problems that you know that
I’ve been discussing with all of you and
I’ve been working on them
really you know obsessively since I was
probably about 18 maybe even earlier not
got to the point around 25 when I was in
graduate school trying to get my PhDs
doing all my research that guy published
15 papers by the time I graduated with
my PhD which was by I think by a fairly
large measure the most papers that any
graduate student at that time had ever
published at McGill I think that’s right
might have been twice as many or maybe
twice as many maybe even three times as
many and at the same time I wrote maps
of meaning which was a terrible terrible
terribly difficult thing to do because I
was writing about three hours a day
doing that and I couldn’t do all that
and continue with my misbehavior you
know my sort of my what would you say my
why my hedonistic my hedonistic my
massive hedonistic consumption of
alcohol and all of that I just couldn’t
keep it up and also work seriously on
the issues that were at hand so you know
I had to stop that’s a sacrifice I had
to stop I’m the kind of person that
believes you should always make
decisions with your heart and soul you
can use your brain for math you can use
your brain to look at the fine print in
a contract but when it comes to the
actual feel of the decision you always
want to go inward and check it against
your heart and soul how do you do that
here’s the simple test does the decision
that you’re about to make expand you
expand your future or expand the
possibilities of your life if the answer
is yes then the decision is yes no
matter how terrifying it is if you
conversely look at the choice that you
have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no
matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I
want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it
shrink me
does it open possibilities or does it
keep things
does it raise my voice or does it
silence me right is that there’s always
a short-term and a long-term impact to
the decision the short-term impact to
making an expansive decision a decision
that’s based in your heart in your soul
sometimes it’s terrifying because
sometimes it means moving or it means
changing a job or changing a
relationship or having a difficult
conversation or starting something new
and those sorts of things are always
uncomfortable so brace for impact put
the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you you’re actually
tougher than you think you never knew
that and maybe you didn’t want to take
on the responsibility because you know
people play a role in their own demise
so to speak when you had opportunity to
go out and explore or withdraw because
you were afraid you chose to withdraw
because you were afraid so it’s not only
that you were over protected often it’s
that you were willing to take advantage
of the fact that you were over protected
and run back there whenever you had the
opportunity you know so maybe you’re a
kid in the playground right and you’re
having some trouble with other kids and
you know in the back of your mind I
should deal this with deal with this
myself but you go and tell your mom and
get her to intervene and you know that
that’s not right you know that you’re
breaking the social contract but it’s
easier and so that’s what you do you run
off to an authority figure and hide
behind the great father right roughly
speaking well the problem with that is
you don’t learn how to do it yourself so
then you have to relearn it painfully
when you’re 40 so then you take people
out you say well what are you afraid of
rank it from 1 to 10 so 10 is what make
a list of 10 things you’re afraid of the
least the thing you’re least afraid of
will call number 10 so we’ll start with
that
okay well I’m afraid of elevators ok
well let’s let’s look at a picture of an
elevator let’s have you imagine being in
an elevator let’s go out to an elevator
and let you watch the terrible jaws
of death open because that’s how you’re
responding to it symbolically right and
you’re gonna do that at it at the the
closest proximity you can manage you
find out you go do that it works you’re
nervous as hell especially an it from an
anticipatory perspective shaking you go
out you stop you watch it happen and you
actually calm down you do that ten times
it no longer bothers you well what
you’ve learned that you didn’t die but
more importantly than that you’ve
learned that you could withstand the
threat of death that’s what you’ve
learned and then you move a little
closer and then you move a little closer
and then you move a little closer and
finally you’re back in what’s no longer
the elevator from a symbolic perspective
it’s a tomb right it’s it’s it’s a place
of enclosure and isolation and you learn
hmm turns out I can withstand that and
then you’re met much more together much
more confident and that’s often one of
the things that often happens in
situations like that I’ve seen this
multiple times is that if you run
someone through an exposure training
process like that and and toughen them
up they’ll often start standing up to
people around them in a way they never
did before
Oh Gerber the guy that wrote the e-myth
you know talks about why so many
businesses young businesses fail and one
of these things he says is most people
are not really entrepreneurs but they
think that’s what they should be they
think that’s the sexy thing that’s the
most attractive thing that’s the best
answer and what I say to you is you’ve
got to separate the vehicle from the
outcome what is it that’s gonna truly
fulfill you what is it that’s gonna give
you that extraordinary life what’s gonna
make things magnificent on your terms
not somebody else’s terms not your
father your mother your background what
is that really separate the vehicle
there’s many ways to get to that vehicle
but I’m saying sometimes you got to
reevaluate what’s gonna really make you
fulfill what is your gift are you an
artist are you the talent that can
produce something no one else produces
as a skill or a product or a service or
some impact are you incredibly good at
management
you really know how to manage or lead
people are you an extraordinary
entrepreneur that has can take that
gigantic gut load of risk and can create
the vision and attract the talent that
you need and the managers and leaders
you may have all three abilities but
which one really fulfills you the most
is gonna be the critical question
because we tend to want to do them all
especially the room like this because
you’re all overachievers right me too
and you say well I can do all these yes
you can but what will it do to your
quality of life see again the secrets
gonna be this what is an extraordinary
life on your terms today I remember
being in Soho New York and I walked into
one of the stories and I bought a coat
and I was leaving on an airplane for
home later that day and I asked the
person who was taking care of me I said
is it possible that’s a great respectful
way to ask for something is it possible
to get this coat hemmed and adjust it a
little bit for me and he and and I said
the thing is that I’m leaving later
today and he looked at me and I’ve never
forgotten it because we all have these
people in their lives who say one thing
or show up in a certain way and they
stay with us for the rest of their lives
and he said to me these words he said it
I’d love to do that for you I’d love to
do that for you and again the whole
brain type – I’m trying to deconstruct
here is make your I can larger than your
IQ you know I remember being in Prague
and I asked someone on the other again I
spent a lot of time in hotels and I said
is it possible to do this and here was
the reply on the other end of the phone
I think was someone from the front desk
or maybe it was room service and I try
to eat as clean as possible
so probably it was a request could I
have olive oil and fresh lemon or lemon
as the salad dressing and here’s the
reply and just really lovingly and
respectfully and hopefully fluently and
elegantly bring this leadership inside
home to you I said is this possible and
is a reply
anything is possible so it’s really easy
to get seduced and stuck into a mindset
of can’t you know someone says let’s
start a new business someone says here’s
a great poetic project that if we
release it to the world will help us own
our marketplace and it sounds very
obvious again but ask yourself this is
your default reply a symptom of a
mindset of Kant or do you have a
mentality of possibility when someone
says here read this book do you shift
into Kant or can when someone says hey
you know what I’m amped to run a
marathon you’ll go I can’t is that your
default setting in your neurobiological
hardwiring or do you go absolutely or
I’d love to do this you know it’s really
really important and that is one of the
core distinctions of leadership isn’t it
success and failure are not giant events
they don’t just show up you’ll just
suddenly become successful or suddenly
have this cataclysmic event that makes
you fail they look that way but failure
cut them and some all the little things
it’s failure to make the call it’s
failure to check the books its failure
to say I’m sorry
it’s failure to push yourself to do
things physically that you don’t want to
do and all those little failures day
after day come together until one day
some Cataclysm event happens you blame
that that event happened because you
missed all the little stuff do you agree
with me and success by the way is not
some overnight event it’s all these
little things success is having a vision
success is making it compelling success
is really seeing it feeling it every day
was strong enough for reasons success he
is feeling the sense that I’m here to
grow and I’m here to give something to
the world more than just myself all the
little stuff that’s where success comes
from in business it comes from
delivering more than anybody could
imagine all those little things add up
people go wow that’s who I want to do
business with very great hero was broken
if you were look at Nelson Mandela
he suffered more than most people if you
look at mother Teresa she went through
Incred
adversity over the course of her journey
if you were to study Mahatma Gandhi
Nelson Mandela Rosa Parks Shakespeare
and Tolstoy if you look at any great
artist a Picasso jean-michel Basquiat if
you look at the great world builders
they all suffered let me put it to you
this way with great love and respect
they all out suffered the majority and
what I’m suggesting to you is pain can
be transformed into power with the
intention to transform pain into power
you see what most people do is this is
why most good people lose they stumble
and they fall and they become
heartbroken or disappointed by life’s
challenges that happens to every single
one of us I mean just to be very
authentic as I always want to be in
these mastery sessions episodes I’ve
gone through a lot of hardship in my
life when I was you know going through
school very few people believed in me
and I was dismissed and called very very
average and the principal at the school
I was at said you’re not even gonna get
into University and you might know my
backstory on the monk who sold his
Ferrari but that was a self-published
book and I was at the American
Booksellers conference in Chicago with a
cover of one of my books over my around
my neck shaking hands with all the
agents that were coming up the escalator
and when I was a self-published author
and I used to go into bookstores and say
would you take three copies of my book
I’ll sign them could you put it on the
shelf and I was treated rudely and I was
laughed at and I was on radio shows and
I was ridiculed and then I’ve gone
through a lot of personal pain in my own
life and I’ve been on the top of the
mountain of victory and I must tell you
I have walked the lonely path in the
darkness in the valley of darkness but
Rumi
the great philosopher said it so
beautifully he said allow your heart to
be broken over
over and over until it opens and what
I’m suggesting to you is really to dial
into this insight all great heroes have
been broken but rather than blaming 27
years in imprisonment in the case of
Nelson Mandela rather than blaming his
naysayers and his detractors in the case
of of mahathma gandhi rather than saying
life is hard wiesen isn’t greatness easy
in the case of a mother Teresa or Martin
Luther King jr. rather than saying why
did this happen to me in the case of
Rosa Parks who refused to give up her
seat to someone on a bus because she was
being treated like a second-class
citizen because of the color of her skin
these great ones all had one thing in
common they leveraged their pain and the
power they turned their tragedies into
victories
if you concentrate solely on your career
you can get a long way in your career
and I would say that that’s a strategy
that a minority of men preferentially do
that that’s all they do they worked like
70 80 hours a week they go flat out on
their career they’re staking everything
on the small probability of exceptional
status in a narrow domain but it’s it’s
hard on them they don’t have a life it’s
very difficult for them to have a family
they don’t know how to take any leisure
activity like they get very
one-dimensional now it may be that that
unit dimensionality is the price you
have to pay to be exceptional at one
thing right because if you’re gonna be
something like a genius level
mathematician and you want to do that
for a scientist say it’s like you’re in
your lab you’re in your lab all the time
you’re working 70 hours a week or 80
hours a week you’re smart you’re
dedicated your unit dimensional and
that’s how you get to beat all the other
people who are doing that it’s the only
way but the problem is you don’t get a
life now if you love being a scientist
and you have that kind of focus of mind
well first of all you’re a rare person
and second you
gonna pay for it but find more power to
you but but it’s a it’s a risky business
to do that you sacrifice a lot for it
you know and I would say most often if
you’re speaking about having a healthy
life that isn’t what you do you spread
yourself out more so you know you have a
family you have some things that you do
outside of work that are meaningful to
you and useful you you have a network of
friends that that those three things a
loner four things alone are plenty to
keep you well oriented and then if one
of those things collapses
you know everything doesn’t go now the
price you pay for that is the more you
strive to optimize that balance the less
likely you are to be fantastically
successful at any single one of them but
you might have a very you know if you
consider your life as a whole that might
be a winning strategy leverage is
critical you know I get so much done cuz
I don’t just get it done I know the
outcome I know the purpose and I look
for leverage leverage is different than
delegation what’s problem with
delegation delegation is you I’ve always
needs to be done so you give it to
someone else
and you tell them it needs to be done
and they don’t do it you’re pissed off
leverage says I can move the biggest
Boulder in the world with a little bit
of effort if I get something I can do it
with and I’m still part of it
so leverage it is if I’m gonna leverage
something you were Tom I’m gonna make
sure Tom understands the what the
outcome I wanna make sure Tom
understands the the purpose the why and
the action but I might say to Tom if you
get this done without this action or
better actually go for a baby and I want
to talk to you on this date we got a
promise and we’re gonna check in before
it’s needed so there’s no surprises if
you have the problems Tom come back to
me because we’re partners on this that I
call leverage and you know what I do
when I have no time there is time I just
got to leverage it now saying sad no no
leverage YouTube
you know Shane over here right I know
stuff he wants to do can’t leverage it
but Shane’s answer was hire somebody
many thinks about what its gonna take
and goes 125,000 dollars
can’t do that now he’s getting caught up
in one way to get the outcome leverage
Yoshi was listening goes what if I got
someone who twenty percent of this stuff
I got I could spend 20 grand to get that
much freedom I can pay four times ten
and if I really productive my
productivity should enhance the world
ballet my clients and customers but it
should provide jobs for other people and
if there’s anything you hate to do it’s
because you’re either ineffective at it
or you don’t think it’s very important
but it is urgent so you hire somebody
for those things and ideally somebody
who loves that job you’re never gonna
grow when your time is eating up for
activities that aren’t that important
activity without high levels of purpose
is the drain of your fortune do it now
then he can’t get it all about you a
part of it now leverage is power it was
the night it was the night before we
were putting drywall in our house we
were redoing a house and he had put in
all the plastic piping you know and I
was gonna test the joints steel are
supposed to be glued together with his
pipe glue right and I said I told him I
had to test the joints and he said well
you don’t have to test my joints they
never leak and I thought yeah that’s
okay how about if I test them so I went
up on the third floor and filled the
pipes with water capping them in the
basement like you’re supposed to and
like half an hour later I had two inches
of water in the basement there were
thirty leaking joints that was the night
before the drywallers were supposed to
show up so well so he wasn’t
particularly competent that’s the point
of that story but even more so he had
put a bunch of the plastic pipe outside
where the drywall would be so it would
have been sticking through the wall so I
spent a frenetic night you know sawing
through plastic pipe and reglue in
joints so that my well so that the dry
rollers could come in what’s the point
if you’re going to be a plumber man be a
good plumber because otherwise all you
do is go out there and cause trouble we
don’t need people to cause more trouble
we need people to solve problems you
know and so you can be a tradesman and
you can be to make a lot of money as a
trades person it’s a bloody reliable
honorable forthright productive way of
making a living and there is a hell
a lot of difference between a working
man who knows what he’s doing and one
who doesn’t both in terms of skill and
ethics right and you work with someone
who knows what they’re doing it’s a
bloody pleasure they tell you what
they’re gonna do they tell you how much
it will cost they go and do it it works
and you pay them perfect everyone’s
happy and that’s what happens when you
have genuine hierarchies of competence
and so you to listen to these panderers
of egalitarian al Geller egalitarianism
and equity and they fail to recognize
completely that there are differences in
rank between people it’s not such a
terrible thing man
maybe you wouldn’t be a great lawyer
like it’s certainly possible most people
aren’t but that doesn’t mean there isn’t
something you could be great at there’s
lots of hierarchies to attempt to climb
and if you fail in one go try in another
but the point is you’re still trying to
aim for the top and what the hell are
you gonna do if you don’t try to aim for
the top you know flap about uselessly
and whine about your life it’s not
helpful it’ll just make you miserable
you’re not reliable to anyone you can’t
help out in a crisis it’s like so you
tell young people and this is another
message for conservatives like I don’t
care what you’re gonna do but go out
there make something of yourself for
God’s sake be an honest person and work
and get to the top of whatever it is
that you want to get to the top of you
know and and and and that you stand up
for yourself like a respectable human
being and be a bit of a light on the
world instead of a blight you know and
you can tell young people that and they
haven’t been told that by anyone now and
so the young men are so hungry for that
that it’s it’s painful to watch
they’re so relieved when finally someone
finally comes up and says hey you know
you get your act together a bit
discipline yourself see if you can learn
to tell the truth concentrate on
something for a year or two you could be
a bloody world beater they think really
that’s possible Wow that would be that
would be interesting that might make
life or life worth living it’s like yeah
it might so why don’t you go do it
that’s what the damn universities we’re
supposed to be teaching people they’ve
forgotten that I went to Harvard month
ago month and a half used to teach there
and I talked to a bunch of students you
know and I told them it’s not easy to
get into Harvard you know like you’re a
valedictorian if you’re at Harvard and
no
are you a valedictorian you’re way
better than most people at at least two
other things or you don’t get in and so
that gets I don’t know what the
acceptance rate is like 5% and believe
me not everybody applies so it’s a very
selective school and so why am I saying
that it’s like these are high quality
kids so I told them what I just told you
it’s like here you are at Harvard so get
yourself educated man read some books
learn to talk learn to think make
yourself into something get the hell out
there and make the world that put you
here happy that you were put there in
that great institution you know and they
came up to me afterwards and said god I
wish someone would have told us that
when we were in our first year it’s like
Jesus why didn’t someone tell the math
for God’s sake it’s supposed to be the
greatest university in the world is it
so difficult to figure that out
well I prayed it from my life and anyone
I know succeeded I’m a 17 year old kid
from Azusa California with no real
education other than self education with
no background with parents that did
but no money but I did one thing I love
people and I had an enormous the man I
made it by myself and I sculpted my mind
and my emotions to get me to do whatever
it would take to achieve and to
contribute but to do that I did it by
using my body and changing my focus I
did it by putting myself in a Peet
physiology and using what I call
incantations can you train yourself to
believe something yes or no absolutely
how many have you ever made the fatal
mistake of going to Disneyland or Disney
World and while you’re there made the
fatal mistake of going to a ride called
it’s a small world after all what
happens for about a week after you’re
out of that damn place you’re still
singing this thing in your hand in 24
languages right let me tell you
something how many of you have things
when you want to go Chiva man this part
of your voice goes oh it’s not gonna
happen or forget it I’m gonna go to
voice that sometimes interrupts that
good pattern say ah what you want to do
is train a new one so starting when I
was 17 I started doing incantations not
affirmations affirmation what’s the
problem you haven’t changed your what
your what physiology if you don’t change
your physiology you won’t get anything
so an incantation only you speak it but
you embody what you’re saying with all
the intensity you can and you do it with
enough repetitions that it sticks in
your head like it’s a small world now
the conversation your head is always the
same and it gives you what you want so
use your body and your voice so 17 years
ago I started doing things I was working
for Jim Rohn the speaker and I was 17
years old I had long hair
minestrone soup acne on my face and I
was trying to call on Bear Stearns type
of people and convince them why they
should go to this man seminar be more
successful I was driving a 1968
Volkswagen I had earned it $40 a week as
a janitor the only way I did it was
parked far from the building
and then go in and I love people I
believe what I put myself in state and I
was able to influence people that were
far more successful I was at the time I
will do something that I still do
backstage and have done for 23 years
because I don’t hope I’m gonna be in a
good State I demand it so I do an
incantation using my whole body it’s a
now command my subconscious mind to
direct me and helping as many people as
possible live today to better their
lives they gave me the strength the
emotion the persuasion the humor the
brotherly whatever it takes
you surely feel and get these people to
change their lives now I would do that
literally driving in my Volkswagen to a
meeting in LA on the freeway for 40
minutes people looking I’m screaming to
pop my lungs they’re going I know he’s a
serial killer I know he is but by the
time I entered that room when two people
meet if there’s rapport the person who’s
most certain and they were trying to get
wrapped up to certainty do you agree
with this yes or no I do another one
because I was poor I changed my mindset
I kept doing things but I never got
beyond it I’d say God’s wealth is
circulating in my life as well flows to
me and avalanches of abundance all my
needs desires and goals are met
instantaneously by infinite intelligence
I’m one with God and God is everything
and I would imagine the abundance of my
life and I would feel so grateful and a
healer I went for making thirty eight
thousand dollars a year to make a million dollars in one year
goals 99.9% of time you ask him why
they’ll tell you it’s because of a lack
of resources that’s what all these
things are I didn’t have the support
right I didn’t have the money we didn’t
have the time we didn’t have this we
never that there’s a resource that
people believe is missing and that
resource belief structure then keeps
people from ever being able to really
lead because what leaders do is they
find a way to maximize whatever
resources they have have littles they
maybe and they don’t believe in limited
resources I’ll give you an example take
a business example to start with in 1974
I can’t even saw him Walton had built
his little company up he capable that
idea started with $20,000 and I think in
1962 if I remember right but by 1974
within 12 years he had 78 stores and you
know I did it in the middle of the night
he drive across border and he’d go and
study other people’s stores he buy
everything the cheapest he could in the
middle of the night he’d go to the
people’s stores whatever was working he
figured out success leaves Clues he came
back and did it in his store whatever
was working in any store in any
competitor anywhere he could do it he
did it
so he forgot to maximize the little
resources he had his twenty thousand
built 78 stores and if you read any of
the people following him the company’s
gone public in that year they were all
saying this is it he’s maximized his
resources I mean only have so much money
there’s only so many cities that are
gonna appeal to this discounting
mentality right this is it this is all
he can do and the word of Wall Street
was self now what’s interesting is at
that time you look at Sears and Kmart
and they were a gargantuan companies
weren’t that 20 30 40 50 times a hundred
times his size or more probably and at
that time they were the leaders and they
knew what’s gonna happen but two things
change yes or no did he suddenly get
mass amounts of capital no here’s what
they didn’t understand Sam Walton now or
the Walton organization Walmart is the
most successful retailing operation on
earth and when you talk about Bill Gates
being the richest man in the world
that’s only true because Sam’s fortune
has divided up amongst a bunch of
different family members you put them
together they dwarf bill gay
Sam Walton did this how did he do it
what people underestimated is that this
guy could go to 4,400 stores do 250
billion
where’s Kmart today and they’ve been
shrinking all women shrieking and he’s
the dominant force on earth here’s the
thing he understood resources are
interesting but the ultimate resources
are the feelings of emotion that make
you resourceful think of it this way
resourcefulness is the ultimate resource
what do I mean what are the emotions
that make all this possible what’s the
fuel that takes an idea from being in
your head when you wouldn’t you’ll
actually know what to do how many got an
idea for example was a great idea you’re
excited about it and then you didn’t do
anything one day there you saw it on the
Shelf you saw it somewhere someone stole
your idea how many had this happened say
I the only one seeing you and that
person was not that they had more
resources they were more resourceful
when people are beset with a catastrophe
like let’s say the death of their father
that they are prone to use that as an
excuse for not going about the business
that they should be going about because
they can say to themselves well I would
accept and accept there’s always good
reasons I mean believe me there’s always
good reasons for not doing what you
should that’s for sure the reasons pile
up day after day to not do what you
should especially because you’re you’re
aiming at things in the future you can
put them off and definitely right
because of the demands of the day like
there’s no excuse whatsoever for not
getting at what it is that you should be
doing it’s absolutely reprehensible to
justify you’re in action with a
catastrophe that extracts mercy from
other people right there’s a tricky
tricky game that’s going well of course
I can’t do that look at the terrible
thing that’s just happened to me it’s
see how okay I understand you’re
absolved of any necessity to move
forward because of your current
catastrophe it’s like well actually
you’re not and it’s rather rude of you
to use it as an excuse and it’s
certainly counterproductive the bravery
and discipline to say no to you to your
many good opportunities what destroys a
great
company is actually opportunity bloating
too many good opportunities so literally
you diffuse your team’s bandwidth and
you get distracted you see with so many
companies right now they they sort of
found their sweet pocket and they were
absolutely winning in their marketplace
and they decided to go hmm we’ve got
this app that is really changing the
game and owning the marketplace let’s
get into food delivery let’s get into
this let’s get into that it happened to
General Electric as well and you
probably know they decided at one point
if we can’t be one or two in any market
we’re gonna get out of that market
that’s the key point I’m trying to make
no you’re mighty mission no your
monomaniacal focus and then have the
discipline to say no to everything else
so you can lock and load on your finest
opportunity to completely change the
game it was 25 or so I probably weighed
about 138 pounds I smoked like a pack of
cigarettes day I drank tremendous amount
of alcohol I was from northern Alberta
this rough little town up and northern
Alberta called Fairview and you know
there were long winters there and my
friends were heavy drinkers and most of
them dropped out of school by the time
they were 15 or 16 went off to work on
the oil rigs and you know it was a rough
town and we drank a lot I started when I
was 14 and you know and so I was I had a
lot of bad habits let’s say and things
that were and I wasn’t in great shape
physically and I was also still
intellectually obsessed by as I am now
and so that would have been that would
have been in 85 but when I but I decided
around that about 85 84 or something
like that maybe a little earlier that I
was really going to try to get my act
together and so I started doing that I
you know I first of all I quit smoking
well that took a long time because I
eventually had to quit drinking to in
order to quit smoking and I started
working out starting playing sports
which I’d never done I had a fine town
when I was a kid and but
I needed really to get disciplined and I
had to do it because I was working on
these hard problems that you know that
I’ve been discussing with all of you and
I’ve been working on them
really you know obsessively since I was
probably about 18 maybe even earlier not
got to the point around 25 when I was in
graduate school trying to get my PhDs
doing all my research that guy published
15 papers by the time I graduated with
my PhD which was by I think by a fairly
large measure the most papers that any
graduate student at that time had ever
published at McGill I think that’s right
might have been twice as many or maybe
twice as many maybe even three times as
many and at the same time I wrote maps
of meaning which was a terrible terrible
terribly difficult thing to do because I
was writing about three hours a day
doing that and I couldn’t do all that
and continue with my misbehavior you
know my sort of my what would you say my
why my hedonistic my hedonistic my
massive hedonistic consumption of
alcohol and all of that I just couldn’t
keep it up and also work seriously on
the issues that were at hand so you know
I had to stop that’s a sacrifice I had
to stop I’m the kind of person that
believes you should always make
decisions with your heart and soul you
can use your brain for math you can use
your brain to look at the fine print in
a contract but when it comes to the
actual feel of the decision you always
want to go inward and check it against
your heart and soul how do you do that
here’s the simple test does the decision
that you’re about to make expand you
expand your future or expand the
possibilities of your life if the answer
is yes then the decision is yes no
matter how terrifying it is if you
conversely look at the choice that you
have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no
matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I
want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it
shrink me
does it open possibilities or does it
keep things
does it raise my voice or does it
silence me right is that there’s always
a short-term and a long-term impact to
the decision the short-term impact to
making an expansive decision a decision
that’s based in your heart in your soul
sometimes it’s terrifying because
sometimes it means moving or it means
changing a job or changing a
relationship or having a difficult
conversation or starting something new
and those sorts of things are always
uncomfortable so brace for impact put
the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you you’re actually
tougher than you think you never knew
that and maybe you didn’t want to take
on the responsibility because you know
people play a role in their own demise
so to speak when you had opportunity to
go out and explore or withdraw because
you were afraid you chose to withdraw
because you were afraid so it’s not only
that you were over protected often it’s
that you were willing to take advantage
of the fact that you were over protected
and run back there whenever you had the
opportunity you know so maybe you’re a
kid in the playground right and you’re
having some trouble with other kids and
you know in the back of your mind I
should deal this with deal with this
myself but you go and tell your mom and
get her to intervene and you know that
that’s not right you know that you’re
breaking the social contract but it’s
easier and so that’s what you do you run
off to an authority figure and hide
behind the great father right roughly
speaking well the problem with that is
you don’t learn how to do it yourself so
then you have to relearn it painfully
when you’re 40 so then you take people
out you say well what are you afraid of
rank it from 1 to 10 so 10 is what make
a list of 10 things you’re afraid of the
least the thing you’re least afraid of
will call number 10 so we’ll start with
that
okay well I’m afraid of elevators ok
well let’s let’s look at a picture of an
elevator let’s have you imagine being in
an elevator let’s go out to an elevator
and let you watch the terrible jaws
of death open because that’s how you’re
responding to it symbolically right and
you’re gonna do that at it at the the
closest proximity you can manage you
find out you go do that it works you’re
nervous as hell especially an it from an
anticipatory perspective shaking you go
out you stop you watch it happen and you
actually calm down you do that ten times
it no longer bothers you well what
you’ve learned that you didn’t die but
more importantly than that you’ve
learned that you could withstand the
threat of death that’s what you’ve
learned and then you move a little
closer and then you move a little closer
and then you move a little closer and
finally you’re back in what’s no longer
the elevator from a symbolic perspective
it’s a tomb right it’s it’s it’s a place
of enclosure and isolation and you learn
hmm turns out I can withstand that and
then you’re met much more together much
more confident and that’s often one of
the things that often happens in
situations like that I’ve seen this
multiple times is that if you run
someone through an exposure training
process like that and and toughen them
up they’ll often start standing up to
people around them in a way they never
did before
Oh Gerber the guy that wrote the e-myth
you know talks about why so many
businesses young businesses fail and one
of these things he says is most people
are not really entrepreneurs but they
think that’s what they should be they
think that’s the sexy thing that’s the
most attractive thing that’s the best
answer and what I say to you is you’ve
got to separate the vehicle from the
outcome what is it that’s gonna truly
fulfill you what is it that’s gonna give
you that extraordinary life what’s gonna
make things magnificent on your terms
not somebody else’s terms not your
father your mother your background what
is that really separate the vehicle
there’s many ways to get to that vehicle
but I’m saying sometimes you got to
reevaluate what’s gonna really make you
fulfill what is your gift are you an
artist are you the talent that can
produce something no one else produces
as a skill or a product or a service or
some impact are you incredibly good at
management
you really know how to manage or lead
people are you an extraordinary
entrepreneur that has can take that
gigantic gut load of risk and can create
the vision and attract the talent that
you need and the managers and leaders
you may have all three abilities but
which one really fulfills you the most
is gonna be the critical question
because we tend to want to do them all
especially the room like this because
you’re all overachievers right me too
and you say well I can do all these yes
you can but what will it do to your
quality of life see again the secrets
gonna be this what is an extraordinary
life on your terms today I remember
being in Soho New York and I walked into
one of the stories and I bought a coat
and I was leaving on an airplane for
home later that day and I asked the
person who was taking care of me I said
is it possible that’s a great respectful
way to ask for something is it possible
to get this coat hemmed and adjust it a
little bit for me and he and and I said
the thing is that I’m leaving later
today and he looked at me and I’ve never
forgotten it because we all have these
people in their lives who say one thing
or show up in a certain way and they
stay with us for the rest of their lives
and he said to me these words he said it
I’d love to do that for you I’d love to
do that for you and again the whole
brain type – I’m trying to deconstruct
here is make your I can larger than your
IQ you know I remember being in Prague
and I asked someone on the other again I
spent a lot of time in hotels and I said
is it possible to do this and here was
the reply on the other end of the phone
I think was someone from the front desk
or maybe it was room service and I try
to eat as clean as possible
so probably it was a request could I
have olive oil and fresh lemon or lemon
as the salad dressing and here’s the
reply and just really lovingly and
respectfully and hopefully fluently and
elegantly bring this leadership inside
home to you I said is this possible and
is a reply
anything is possible so it’s really easy
to get seduced and stuck into a mindset
of can’t you know someone says let’s
start a new business someone says here’s
a great poetic project that if we
release it to the world will help us own
our marketplace and it sounds very
obvious again but ask yourself this is
your default reply a symptom of a
mindset of Kant or do you have a
mentality of possibility when someone
says here read this book do you shift
into Kant or can when someone says hey
you know what I’m amped to run a
marathon you’ll go I can’t is that your
default setting in your neurobiological
hardwiring or do you go absolutely or
I’d love to do this you know it’s really
really important and that is one of the
core distinctions of leadership isn’t it
success and failure are not giant events
they don’t just show up you’ll just
suddenly become successful or suddenly
have this cataclysmic event that makes
you fail they look that way but failure
cut them and some all the little things
it’s failure to make the call it’s
failure to check the books its failure
to say I’m sorry
it’s failure to push yourself to do
things physically that you don’t want to
do and all those little failures day
after day come together until one day
some Cataclysm event happens you blame
that that event happened because you
missed all the little stuff do you agree
with me and success by the way is not
some overnight event it’s all these
little things success is having a vision
success is making it compelling success
is really seeing it feeling it every day
was strong enough for reasons success he
is feeling the sense that I’m here to
grow and I’m here to give something to
the world more than just myself all the
little stuff that’s where success comes
from in business it comes from
delivering more than anybody could
imagine all those little things add up
people go wow that’s who I want to do
business with very great hero was broken
if you were look at Nelson Mandela
he suffered more than most people if you
look at mother Teresa she went through
Incred
adversity over the course of her journey
if you were to study Mahatma Gandhi
Nelson Mandela Rosa Parks Shakespeare
and Tolstoy if you look at any great
artist a Picasso jean-michel Basquiat if
you look at the great world builders
they all suffered let me put it to you
this way with great love and respect
they all out suffered the majority and
what I’m suggesting to you is pain can
be transformed into power with the
intention to transform pain into power
you see what most people do is this is
why most good people lose they stumble
and they fall and they become
heartbroken or disappointed by life’s
challenges that happens to every single
one of us I mean just to be very
authentic as I always want to be in
these mastery sessions episodes I’ve
gone through a lot of hardship in my
life when I was you know going through
school very few people believed in me
and I was dismissed and called very very
average and the principal at the school
I was at said you’re not even gonna get
into University and you might know my
backstory on the monk who sold his
Ferrari but that was a self-published
book and I was at the American
Booksellers conference in Chicago with a
cover of one of my books over my around
my neck shaking hands with all the
agents that were coming up the escalator
and when I was a self-published author
and I used to go into bookstores and say
would you take three copies of my book
I’ll sign them could you put it on the
shelf and I was treated rudely and I was
laughed at and I was on radio shows and
I was ridiculed and then I’ve gone
through a lot of personal pain in my own
life and I’ve been on the top of the
mountain of victory and I must tell you
I have walked the lonely path in the
darkness in the valley of darkness but
Rumi
the great philosopher said it so
beautifully he said allow your heart to
be broken over
over and over until it opens and what
I’m suggesting to you is really to dial
into this insight all great heroes have
been broken but rather than blaming 27
years in imprisonment in the case of
Nelson Mandela rather than blaming his
naysayers and his detractors in the case
of of mahathma gandhi rather than saying
life is hard wiesen isn’t greatness easy
in the case of a mother Teresa or Martin
Luther King jr. rather than saying why
did this happen to me in the case of
Rosa Parks who refused to give up her
seat to someone on a bus because she was
being treated like a second-class
citizen because of the color of her skin
these great ones all had one thing in
common they leveraged their pain and the
power they turned their tragedies into
victories
if you concentrate solely on your career
you can get a long way in your career
and I would say that that’s a strategy
that a minority of men preferentially do
that that’s all they do they worked like
70 80 hours a week they go flat out on
their career they’re staking everything
on the small probability of exceptional
status in a narrow domain but it’s it’s
hard on them they don’t have a life it’s
very difficult for them to have a family
they don’t know how to take any leisure
activity like they get very
one-dimensional now it may be that that
unit dimensionality is the price you
have to pay to be exceptional at one
thing right because if you’re gonna be
something like a genius level
mathematician and you want to do that
for a scientist say it’s like you’re in
your lab you’re in your lab all the time
you’re working 70 hours a week or 80
hours a week you’re smart you’re
dedicated your unit dimensional and
that’s how you get to beat all the other
people who are doing that it’s the only
way but the problem is you don’t get a
life now if you love being a scientist
and you have that kind of focus of mind
well first of all you’re a rare person
and second you
gonna pay for it but find more power to
you but but it’s a it’s a risky business
to do that you sacrifice a lot for it
you know and I would say most often if
you’re speaking about having a healthy
life that isn’t what you do you spread
yourself out more so you know you have a
family you have some things that you do
outside of work that are meaningful to
you and useful you you have a network of
friends that that those three things a
loner four things alone are plenty to
keep you well oriented and then if one
of those things collapses
you know everything doesn’t go now the
price you pay for that is the more you
strive to optimize that balance the less
likely you are to be fantastically
successful at any single one of them but
you might have a very you know if you
consider your life as a whole that might
be a winning strategy leverage is
critical you know I get so much done cuz
I don’t just get it done I know the
outcome I know the purpose and I look
for leverage leverage is different than
delegation what’s problem with
delegation delegation is you I’ve always
needs to be done so you give it to
someone else
and you tell them it needs to be done
and they don’t do it you’re pissed off
leverage says I can move the biggest
Boulder in the world with a little bit
of effort if I get something I can do it
with and I’m still part of it
so leverage it is if I’m gonna leverage
something you were Tom I’m gonna make
sure Tom understands the what the
outcome I wanna make sure Tom
understands the the purpose the why and
the action but I might say to Tom if you
get this done without this action or
better actually go for a baby and I want
to talk to you on this date we got a
promise and we’re gonna check in before
it’s needed so there’s no surprises if
you have the problems Tom come back to
me because we’re partners on this that I
call leverage and you know what I do
when I have no time there is time I just
got to leverage it now saying sad no no
leverage YouTube
you know Shane over here right I know
stuff he wants to do can’t leverage it
but Shane’s answer was hire somebody
many thinks about what its gonna take
and goes 125,000 dollars
can’t do that now he’s getting caught up
in one way to get the outcome leverage
Yoshi was listening goes what if I got
someone who twenty percent of this stuff
I got I could spend 20 grand to get that
much freedom I can pay four times ten
and if I really productive my
productivity should enhance the world
ballet my clients and customers but it
should provide jobs for other people and
if there’s anything you hate to do it’s
because you’re either ineffective at it
or you don’t think it’s very important
but it is urgent so you hire somebody
for those things and ideally somebody
who loves that job you’re never gonna
grow when your time is eating up for
activities that aren’t that important
activity without high levels of purpose
is the drain of your fortune do it now
then he can’t get it all about you a
part of it now leverage is power it was
the night it was the night before we
were putting drywall in our house we
were redoing a house and he had put in
all the plastic piping you know and I
was gonna test the joints steel are
supposed to be glued together with his
pipe glue right and I said I told him I
had to test the joints and he said well
you don’t have to test my joints they
never leak and I thought yeah that’s
okay how about if I test them so I went
up on the third floor and filled the
pipes with water capping them in the
basement like you’re supposed to and
like half an hour later I had two inches
of water in the basement there were
thirty leaking joints that was the night
before the drywallers were supposed to
show up so well so he wasn’t
particularly competent that’s the point
of that story but even more so he had
put a bunch of the plastic pipe outside
where the drywall would be so it would
have been sticking through the wall so I
spent a frenetic night you know sawing
through plastic pipe and reglue in
joints so that my well so that the dry
rollers could come in what’s the point
if you’re going to be a plumber man be a
good plumber because otherwise all you
do is go out there and cause trouble we
don’t need people to cause more trouble
we need people to solve problems you
know and so you can be a tradesman and
you can be to make a lot of money as a
trades person it’s a bloody reliable
honorable forthright productive way of
making a living and there is a hell
a lot of difference between a working
man who knows what he’s doing and one
who doesn’t both in terms of skill and
ethics right and you work with someone
who knows what they’re doing it’s a
bloody pleasure they tell you what
they’re gonna do they tell you how much
it will cost they go and do it it works
and you pay them perfect everyone’s
happy and that’s what happens when you
have genuine hierarchies of competence
and so you to listen to these panderers
of egalitarian al Geller egalitarianism
and equity and they fail to recognize
completely that there are differences in
rank between people it’s not such a
terrible thing man
maybe you wouldn’t be a great lawyer
like it’s certainly possible most people
aren’t but that doesn’t mean there isn’t
something you could be great at there’s
lots of hierarchies to attempt to climb
and if you fail in one go try in another
but the point is you’re still trying to
aim for the top and what the hell are
you gonna do if you don’t try to aim for
the top you know flap about uselessly
and whine about your life it’s not
helpful it’ll just make you miserable
you’re not reliable to anyone you can’t
help out in a crisis it’s like so you
tell young people and this is another
message for conservatives like I don’t
care what you’re gonna do but go out
there make something of yourself for
God’s sake be an honest person and work
and get to the top of whatever it is
that you want to get to the top of you
know and and and and that you stand up
for yourself like a respectable human
being and be a bit of a light on the
world instead of a blight you know and
you can tell young people that and they
haven’t been told that by anyone now and
so the young men are so hungry for that
that it’s it’s painful to watch
they’re so relieved when finally someone
finally comes up and says hey you know
you get your act together a bit
discipline yourself see if you can learn
to tell the truth concentrate on
something for a year or two you could be
a bloody world beater they think really
that’s possible Wow that would be that
would be interesting that might make
life or life worth living it’s like yeah
it might so why don’t you go do it
that’s what the damn universities we’re
supposed to be teaching people they’ve
forgotten that I went to Harvard month
ago month and a half used to teach there
and I talked to a bunch of students you
know and I told them it’s not easy to
get into Harvard you know like you’re a
valedictorian if you’re at Harvard and
no
are you a valedictorian you’re way
better than most people at at least two
other things or you don’t get in and so
that gets I don’t know what the
acceptance rate is like 5% and believe
me not everybody applies so it’s a very
selective school and so why am I saying
that it’s like these are high quality
kids so I told them what I just told you
it’s like here you are at Harvard so get
yourself educated man read some books
learn to talk learn to think make
yourself into something get the hell out
there and make the world that put you
here happy that you were put there in
that great institution you know and they
came up to me afterwards and said god I
wish someone would have told us that
when we were in our first year it’s like
Jesus why didn’t someone tell the math
for God’s sake it’s supposed to be the
greatest university in the world is it
so difficult to figure that out
well I prayed it from my life and anyone
I know succeeded I’m a 17 year old kid
from Azusa California with no real
education other than self education with
no background with parents that did
but no money but I did one thing I love
people and I had an enormous the man I
made it by myself and I sculpted my mind
and my emotions to get me to do whatever
it would take to achieve and to
contribute but to do that I did it by
using my body and changing my focus I
did it by putting myself in a Peet
physiology and using what I call
incantations can you train yourself to
believe something yes or no absolutely
how many have you ever made the fatal
mistake of going to Disneyland or Disney
World and while you’re there made the
fatal mistake of going to a ride called
it’s a small world after all what
happens for about a week after you’re
out of that damn place you’re still
singing this thing in your hand in 24
languages right let me tell you
something how many of you have things
when you want to go Chiva man this part
of your voice goes oh it’s not gonna
happen or forget it I’m gonna go to
voice that sometimes interrupts that
good pattern say ah what you want to do
is train a new one so starting when I
was 17 I started doing incantations not
affirmations affirmation what’s the
problem you haven’t changed your what
your what physiology if you don’t change
your physiology you won’t get anything
so an incantation only you speak it but
you embody what you’re saying with all
the intensity you can and you do it with
enough repetitions that it sticks in
your head like it’s a small world now
the conversation your head is always the
same and it gives you what you want so
use your body and your voice so 17 years
ago I started doing things I was working
for Jim Rohn the speaker and I was 17
years old I had long hair
minestrone soup acne on my face and I
was trying to call on Bear Stearns type
of people and convince them why they
should go to this man seminar be more
successful I was driving a 1968
Volkswagen I had earned it $40 a week as
a janitor the only way I did it was
parked far from the building
and then go in and I love people I
believe what I put myself in state and I
was able to influence people that were
far more successful I was at the time I
will do something that I still do
backstage and have done for 23 years
because I don’t hope I’m gonna be in a
good State I demand it so I do an
incantation using my whole body it’s a
now command my subconscious mind to
direct me and helping as many people as
possible live today to better their
lives they gave me the strength the
emotion the persuasion the humor the
brotherly whatever it takes
you surely feel and get these people to
change their lives now I would do that
literally driving in my Volkswagen to a
meeting in LA on the freeway for 40
minutes people looking I’m screaming to
pop my lungs they’re going I know he’s a
serial killer I know he is but by the
time I entered that room when two people
meet if there’s rapport the person who’s
most certain and they were trying to get
wrapped up to certainty do you agree
with this yes or no I do another one
because I was poor I changed my mindset
I kept doing things but I never got
beyond it I’d say God’s wealth is
circulating in my life as well flows to
me and avalanches of abundance all my
needs desires and goals are met
instantaneously by infinite intelligence
I’m one with God and God is everything
and I would imagine the abundance of my
life and I would feel so grateful and a
healer I went for making thirty eight
thousand dollars a year to make a million dollars in one year
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