everyone has their disabilities let’s
say and I know that some people are far
more terribly affected than other people
I’m perfectly aware of that but the
question is what do you do about that
and what you do is you you set yourself
up on your damn crutches and you
struggle up the bloody hill that’s what
you do but and a lot of what we learn we
learned painfully and so it’s not
surprising that people shrink away from
learning we learn in pain and anxiety
very frequently everyone knows that like
the things that really that you really
learned in life it’s like there was no
what’s that believed nation it’s heaven
my one word is believe and I believe in
you I believe you have Jordan B Peterson
level talent adds something and I want
you to find it embrace it and use it to
make a difference now I started that
meant to me series to hang around people
who’ve done a lot more than us and
hopefully by spending a little more time
with them some of their mindsets belief
systems way of seeing the world seep
into us to help us become the best
version of ourselves so today we’re
gonna learn from one of the best Jordan
B Peterson and how to better your life
and become more successful mentor me
[Music]
okay let’s pick it up with rule number
one just start doing this
circumambulation that young talked about
was this continual will return to this
this continual circling in some sense of
who you could be you might notice for
example that there are themes in your
life you know when you go back across
your experiences you see you kind of
have your typical experience that sort
of repeats itself and there might be
variation on it like a musical theme but
it’s it’s like you’re circling yourself
and getting closer to yourself as you
move across time
that’s the circumambulation now you
remember that for a sec cause we’ll go
back to it okay so imagine that
something glimmers before you it’s an
interest that’s dawning and you decide
well first of all you’re paralyzed you
think well how do I know if I should
pursue that it’s probably a stupid idea
and the proper response to that is
you’re right it probably is a stupid
idea because almost all though all ideas
are stupid and so the probability that
as you move forward on your adventure
that you’re gonna get it right the first
time is zero it’s just not gonna happen
and so then you might think well maybe
I’ll just wait around until I get the
right idea
and which people do right so they’re
like 40 year old 13 year olds which is
not a good idea so they wait around
until it’s waiting for godot until they
finally got it right but the problem is
you’re too stupid to know when you’ve
got it right so waiting around isn’t
gonna help because even if it the
perfect opportunity manifested itself to
you in your incomplete form the
probability that you would recognize it
as the perfect opportunity is zero
you might even think it’s the worst
possible idea that you’ve ever heard of
anywhere highly likely highly likely so
so you had there’s a niche of Nietzsche
called that a will will to stupidity
which I really liked so because he
thought of stupidity as being it you
know it’s it’s you have to take it into
account fundamentally and work with it
and so and so you can take these
tentative steps on your pathway to
destiny and you can assume that you’re
gonna do it badly and that’s really
useful because you don’t have to beat
yourself up it’s pretty easy to do it
badly
but the thing is it’s way better to do
it badly than not to do it at all so you
you start your path and you think that
you’re heading you know towards your
star and so you go in that direction and
then because you’re here the world looks
a particular way but then when you move
here the world looks different and
you’re different as a consequence of
having made that voyage and so what that
means is that now that thing that
glimmers in front of you is going to
have shifted its location because you
weren’t very good at specifying it to
begin with and now that you’re a little
sharper and more focused than you were
it’s it’s going to reveal itself with
more accuracy to you and so then you
have to take you know it’s almost like
180 degree reversal but it isn’t because
you know you’ve
I mean you’ve gone this far and that’s a
long ways to get that far but that’s a
lot farther than you would be if you
just stayed where you were waiting and
so it doesn’t matter that you overshoot
continually because as you overshoot
even if you don’t learn what you should
have done you’re going to continually
learn what you shouldn’t keep doing and
if you learn enough about what you
shouldn’t keep doing then that’s
tantamount at some point to learning at
the same time what you should be doing
so it’s okay so it’s like this now
what’s cool about it though I think is
that as you progress the degree of
overshooting starts to decline right and
that we know that there’s nothing
hypothetical about that as you learn a
new skill like even to play it play a
song on the piano for example you
overshoot madly you’re making all sorts
of mistakes to begin with and then the
mistakes they disappear so anyways the
fact that you’re full of faults doesn’t
mean you have to stop and thank God for
that that’s a really useful thing and
the fact that you’re full of faults
doesn’t mean that you can’t learn and so
you can pause it an ideal and you’re
going to be wrong about it
but it doesn’t matter because what
you’re right about is positing the ideal
moving towards it if the actual ideal
isn’t conceptualize perfectly well first
surprise surprise because like what are
you gonna do that’s perfect so it
doesn’t matter that it’s imperfect
imperfect it just matters that you do it
and that you move forward so that’s
really that’s really positive news as
far as I’m concerned because you can
actually do that right you can do it
badly anyone can do that so that’s
that’s useful rule number two develop
your communication skills I’m incredibly
nervous to talk in front of you because
you’ve got to be one of the most
formidable people that I’ve ever heard
of or ever listen to her ever seen so my
question is again you’re one of the best
communicators that I’ve ever listened to
if I could be half as good at you or at
communicating as you are I would be set
how can I teach myself to do that
practice you know really like well
there’s a couple of things is helps to
read a lot it really helped to write so
if you want to make yourself articulate
which is a very good idea then not only
should you read but you should write
down what you think and if you can do
that a little bit every day 15 minutes
maybe you could steal 15 minutes and do
it every day but if you do that for 10
years you really straighten out your
thinking if you’re gonna speak
effectively you have to know way more
than you’re talking about you know so if
you this is often difficult for
beginning lecturers at university
because they’ll do a lecture on a topic
but they only know as much as they’re
saying in the lecture and they get kind
of stuck to their notes because of it
but you want to know 10 times as much as
you are saying in the lecture and then
you can specify a stepping path through
it and elaborate with the other things
that you know but to do that you have to
do a lot of reading but you also have to
do a lot of reading because that’s where
the synthesize that’s where the
synthesizing comes so that’s on the
input side and then on the output side
well there’s some trick
techniques let’s say is like if you’re
speaking in front of a group you are not
delivering a talk to a group that’s not
what you’re doing the talk isn’t a
package thing that you present to a
group there isn’t a group there’s a
bunch of individuals and you talk to
them so when I talk to a group I always
talk to people one at a time and that
makes it easier to because you know how
to talk to a person it’s like can you
talk to a thousand people well probably
not because it’s too intimidating but
there isn’t a thousand people there
there’s a thousand individuals and so
you just look at an individual and you
say something and you can tell if
they’re engaged they look confused or
they look interested or they look angry
or they look bored or maybe they’re
asleep in which case you look at someone
else and they give you feedback about
how you’re doing and so one thing is to
to have something to say yeah but the
next thing is pay attention to who
you’re talking to because unless you’re
very badly socialized and that seems
unlikely in your case because you know
you present yourself at least moderately
well you know and well I mean I don’t
know you very well but at first but on
first sight you know you’re doing fine
so the probability that if you pay
attention to the individuals that you’re
talking to that your natural wealth of
social skill will manifest itself is
extremely high and so you don’t deliver
a talk to an audience that’s a really
bad way of thinking about you’re
actually engaged in a conversation with
an audience even if they’re not talking
they’re nodding and shifting position
and you know looking like this or and
you can you could pull that in and and
and use it to govern the level at which
you’re addressing the entire audience so
the last thing I would say is well
having the aim to be a good communicator
is a good start and you think well I
could bunch us that to some degree well
there isn’t anything that you can
possibly this is the whole point of a
liberal education there isn’t anything
that you can possibly do that makes you
more competent in everything you do
than to learn how to communicate I don’t
care if you’re gonna be a carpenter I
mean being a carpenter by the way is
very difficult especially if you’re a
good carpenter but if you’re good at
communicating as a carpenter you’re like
10 times better as a carpenter so the
and this is something that the liberal
arts colleges I think I don’t know if
they’ve forgotten it but they don’t do a
very good job of marketing it’s like
what’s the use of a bachelor’s degree
Bachelor of Arts it’s like well you can
think you can write you can speak you’ve
read something it’s like the economic
value that is incalculable the people
that I’ve watched in my life would be
spectacular ly successful are they have
skills clearly that that’s a minimum
precondition but they’re also very very
good at articulating themselves and so
whenever they negotiate they’re
successful well that’s kind of like the
definition of success in life right you
negotiate and you’re six it doesn’t mean
you win because if you’re a good
negotiator if you’re really good
negotiator everybody walks away from the
negotiation thrilled and so then people
line up to do things with you so and
that’s all that’s all dependent on your
ability to communicate so practice rule
number three struggle up the hill they
say do you believe in God let’s say and
my response to that always is well I
don’t know what you mean when you ask me
that question so I don’t know how to
answer it I don’t know what you mean by
belief but I can tell you something that
I believe and I would say this is a way
of speaking symbolically I do believe so
I was thinking the other day a week ago
I was thinking about this little fantasy
that entered my mind I was thinking
about st. Joseph’s oratorio in Montreal
and st. joseph´s oratorio is a very
large religious building it’s one of the
biggest cathedral like structures in the
world and it’s set on the hill won’t
Royal and it’s set up where it can catch
the Sun you know so it’s an image of the
heavenly City on the hill right it’s an
image of the structures that we strive
to create that’s what it is in
independent of its specifically
Christian or religious function that’s
what it stands for symbolically okay so
it’s the city on the hill it’s it’s what
we’re striving towards
when we walk uphill in life okay now the
way the oratorio is structured there’s
hundreds of steps leading to it upfront
and in the early part of the 20th
century a lot of people who had physical
disabilities came there and they
struggled up the step on their crutches
and many of them left their crutches in
the oratorio you can see hundreds of
them if you go there it’s quite an
interesting sight and I was thinking
about that and I was thinking about what
that meant and this is what it means it
means that you know everyone has their
disabilities let’s say and I know that
some people are far more terribly
affected than other people I’m perfectly
aware of that but the question is what
do you do about that and what you do is
you you set yourself up on your damn
crutches and you struggle up the bloody
hill that’s what you do and you struggle
up the hill towards the kingdom of God
that’s what you do because the
alternative is to descend into the abyss
that’s the alternative and then so to
say well do you believe it’s like I
believe that you should struggle uphill
towards the City of God on your crutches
that’s what you should do that’s the
opposite of the descent into the abyss
and so that’s that’s at the foundation
of our civilization that idea well argue
with it if you will see if you can
figure out why that’s not an acceptable
idea maybe you should help someone
struggle up the hill perhaps you should
you know you can lend a hand to someone
holy you don’t want to take the burden
away from them entirely because there’s
something noble about struggling up the
damn Hill right there’s something that’s
adventure that’s the call to proper
being it’s like well we don’t need to
forget this you know we don’t need to
forget it the universities have been
there since time immemorial to try to
push that idea forward through the
generations and everyone needs to know
that idea that’s what gives your life
not happiness forget about that if it
comes well great accept it dignity
nobility character truth responsibility
beauty those are the things to aim for
rule number four stop wasting
opportunities my experience is with
people that were probably running at
about fifty one percent of our capacity
something mean you can think about this
yourselves I often ask undergraduates
how many hours a day you waste or how
many hours a week you waste and the
classic answer is something like four to
six hours a day
you know inefficient studying watching
things on YouTube that not only do you
not want to watch that you don’t even
care about that make you feel horrible
about watching after you’re done that’s
probably four hours right there know
what you think well that’s 2025 hours a
week it’s a hundred hours a month that’s
two and a half full work weeks it’s half
a year of work weeks per year and if
your time is worth twenty dollars an
hour which is a radical under estimate
it’s probably more like 50 if you think
about it in terms of deferred wages if
you’re wasting 20 hours a week
you’re wasting fifty thousand dollars a
year and you are doing that right now
and it’s because you’re young wasting
fifty thousand dollars a year is a way
bigger catastrophe than it would be for
me to waste it because I’m not going to
last nearly as long and so if your life
isn’t everything it could be you could
ask yourself well what would happen if
you just stopped wasting the
opportunities that are in front of you
you be who knows how much more efficient
ten times more efficient twenty times
more efficient that’s the Pareto
distribution you have no idea how
efficient efficient people get it’s
completely it’s off the charts well and
if we all got our act together
collectively and stop making things
worse because that’s another thing
people do all the time not only do they
not do what they should to make things
better they actively attempt to make
things worse because they’re spiteful or
resentful or arrogant or deceitful or or
homicidal or genocide alure all of those
things all bundled together in an
absolutely pathological package if
people start really really trying just
to make things worse we have no idea how
much better they would get just because
of that rule number five eat a little
poison every day the more radical than
necessary change the more pain that
accompanies it like the more opportunity
as well but and a lot of what we learn
we learn painfully and so it’s not
surprising that people shrink away from
learning we learn in pain and anxiety
very frequently everyone knows that like
the
things that really that you really
learned in life it’s like there was no
joy man like it took you out and so the
fact that people flee from that is
hardly surprising but it doesn’t help
that’s the thing it just stores up the
catastrophe for later and so the better
the better idea is to eat a little
poison every day so that you don’t have
to overdose in a month
it’s something like that and it is the
case that I think because you don’t you
aren’t forced first of all you don’t
learn unless you’re forced to learn I
know there’s alternatives to that
there’s the voluntary search for
knowledge and that’s a fine thing and
that is an antidote to this but apart
from that speaking more practically you
tend not to learn unless you’re forced
to learn and it’s and what you tend to
learn by force are difficult lessons and
so people are very prone to not do not
seek that out it’s not surprising but
it’s because they don’t understand the
consequences very well you know you you
it’s because maybe it’s because they’re
convinced that there’s some way of for
stalling the necessary learning and
there isn’t any way of for stalling it
all you do is make it worse in the
future you make yourself smaller and you
make the lesson harder and so that’s why
in so many religious doctrines there’s
emphasis on humility you know and
humility isn’t to debase yourself it’s
to understand that you don’t know enough
so that your life isn’t going to be
miserable and so every chance you get to
grab something new that will help you
along your way you should take it as
fast as you can but you have to have a
very tragic I would say view of reality
and also a harsh one because it’s not
just tragedy it’s also malevolence you
have to understand that those are
waiting for you and that makes you
desperate enough to learn and that might
be make you desperate enough to fall out
of your ideology but that’s that’s a
hard way of looking at the world it
beats living through it though and rule
number six the last
to me for a very special bonus clip is
get a routine no one can live without a
routine you just forget that if you guys
don’t have a routine I would recommend
like you get one going because you
cannot be mentally healthy without a
routine you need to pick a time to get
up whatever time you want but pick one
and stick to it because otherwise you
dis regulate your circadian rhythms and
they regulate your mood and eat
something in the morning I had lots of
clients who’ve had anxiety disorders I
had one client who was literally
starving very smart girl sheet there’s
very little that she liked she kind of
tried to subsist on like half a cup of
rice a day she came to me and said I
have no energy I come home all I want to
do is watch the same movie over and over
what like is that weird and I thought
well it depends on how hard you work you
know it’s a little weird but whatever
it’s familiar you’re looking for comfort
so I did an analysis of her diet it’s
like three quarters of a cup of rice
it’s like you’re starving eat something
you know you’ll feel better
so she modified her diet and her all her
anxiety went away and she had some
energy it’s like yeah you got to eat so
a schedule that’s a good thing man your
brain will thank you for it
it will stabilize your nervous system
which is a bit of a plan that’s a good
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
on how to find balance that I think
you’re really gonna enjoy but before
that it’s time for the three-point
landing questions time to move from just
watching another video to actually
taking some kind of action in your life
and in your business answer these
questions on your own in the notebook
talk about them with a friend or leave
your answers in the comments below here
we go question number one what do you
need to start doing question number two
what’s the biggest change you’re gonna
make to your morning routine starting
tomorrow and question number three what
opportunity is your current behavior
preventing you from accomplishing thank
you guys so much for watching I believe
in you I hope we continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
if you concentrate solely on your career
you can get a long way in your career
and I would say that that’s a strategy
that a minority of men preferentially do
that that’s all they do
they worked like 70 80 hours a week they
go flat out on their career they’re
staking everything on the small
probability of exceptional status in a
narrow domain but it’s it’s hard on them
they don’t have a life it’s very
difficult for them to have a family they
don’t know how to take any leisure
activity like they get very
one-dimensional now it may be that that
unit dimensionality is the price you
have to pay to be exceptional at one
thing right because if you’re going to
be something like a genius level
mathematician and you want to do that
for a scientist say it’s like you’re in
your lab you’re in your lab all the time
you’re working 70 hours a week or 80
hours a week you’re smart you’re
dedicated your unit dimensional and
that’s how you get to beat all the other
people who are doing that it’s the only
way but the problem is you don’t get a
life
now if you love being a scientist and
you have that kind of focus of mind well
first of all you’re a rare person and
second you’re gonna pay for it but find
more power to you but but it’s a it’s a
risky business to do that you sacrifice
a lot for it you know and I would say
most often if you’re speaking about
having a healthy life that isn’t what
you do you spread yourself out more so
you know you have a family you have some
things that you do outside of work that
are meaningful to you and useful you you
have a network of friends that that
those three things a loner four things
alone are plenty to keep you well
oriented and then if one of those things
collapses
you know everything doesn’t go now the
price you pay for that is the more you
strive to optimize that balance the less
likely you are to be fantastically
successful at any single one of them but
you might have a very you know if you
couldn’t consider your life as a whole
that might be a winning strategy one of
the things Carl Jung said I really like
this
he thought that men went after
perfection and when women went after
wholeness so they’re different they’re
different
tell you there did they’re different
there’s something different at the top
of the value hierarchy so perfection
would be stake it all on one thing and
look for radical success not all not
that all men do that because they don’t
but we’re talking about extremes
at least with regards to the men that do
that the wholeness idea is more like
well I want I want it’s like I want one
thing in my life to be a hundred and
fifty percent or I want five things in
my life to be 80 percent well there’s a
lot more richness in a life where you
have five things operating at 80 percent
but you’re not operating in any of that
any of them at a hundred and fifty
percent so and I really believe this
because I’ve watched men and women go
through their careers now for a long
period of time and one of the things
that there’s lots of things that produce
this but one of the things that I’ve
noticed is that mostly women in their
30s bear bail out of uni-dimensional
careers they won’t do them they won’t
they won’t put in the 80 hours a week
that they would have to put in in order
to dominate that particular area and it
isn’t the reason that they won’t do it
is because they decide it’s not worth it
and no wonder because why would that be
worth it you have to ask yourself that
it’s like well you want to be an
outstanding scientist it’s like okay
really really that’s what you want
because that means that’s what you do
because you’re competing with other
people you know they’re smart they’re
hard-working and if you want to be at
the top you have to be smarter and work
harder than any of them and working hard
means working long hours I mean it also
means working diligently but in in the
final analysis it’s also an additive
issue if I’m smart and hard-working and
I can crank out for 70 hours a week and
you do it for 30 it’s like in two years
I’m so far ahead of you you will never
ever catch up altruistic world
domination
honey Empire right I’m grateful I
understand why I’m here I think because
I am so
I wanted to think and say it’s a bloody
brief life all of you have the potential
for enormous success if you want to know
what Gary Vee DJ Khalid Oprah and others
know about empire building that most
people miss check out the link in the description for a free bonus video
say and I know that some people are far
more terribly affected than other people
I’m perfectly aware of that but the
question is what do you do about that
and what you do is you you set yourself
up on your damn crutches and you
struggle up the bloody hill that’s what
you do but and a lot of what we learn we
learned painfully and so it’s not
surprising that people shrink away from
learning we learn in pain and anxiety
very frequently everyone knows that like
the things that really that you really
learned in life it’s like there was no
what’s that believed nation it’s heaven
my one word is believe and I believe in
you I believe you have Jordan B Peterson
level talent adds something and I want
you to find it embrace it and use it to
make a difference now I started that
meant to me series to hang around people
who’ve done a lot more than us and
hopefully by spending a little more time
with them some of their mindsets belief
systems way of seeing the world seep
into us to help us become the best
version of ourselves so today we’re
gonna learn from one of the best Jordan
B Peterson and how to better your life
and become more successful mentor me
[Music]
okay let’s pick it up with rule number
one just start doing this
circumambulation that young talked about
was this continual will return to this
this continual circling in some sense of
who you could be you might notice for
example that there are themes in your
life you know when you go back across
your experiences you see you kind of
have your typical experience that sort
of repeats itself and there might be
variation on it like a musical theme but
it’s it’s like you’re circling yourself
and getting closer to yourself as you
move across time
that’s the circumambulation now you
remember that for a sec cause we’ll go
back to it okay so imagine that
something glimmers before you it’s an
interest that’s dawning and you decide
well first of all you’re paralyzed you
think well how do I know if I should
pursue that it’s probably a stupid idea
and the proper response to that is
you’re right it probably is a stupid
idea because almost all though all ideas
are stupid and so the probability that
as you move forward on your adventure
that you’re gonna get it right the first
time is zero it’s just not gonna happen
and so then you might think well maybe
I’ll just wait around until I get the
right idea
and which people do right so they’re
like 40 year old 13 year olds which is
not a good idea so they wait around
until it’s waiting for godot until they
finally got it right but the problem is
you’re too stupid to know when you’ve
got it right so waiting around isn’t
gonna help because even if it the
perfect opportunity manifested itself to
you in your incomplete form the
probability that you would recognize it
as the perfect opportunity is zero
you might even think it’s the worst
possible idea that you’ve ever heard of
anywhere highly likely highly likely so
so you had there’s a niche of Nietzsche
called that a will will to stupidity
which I really liked so because he
thought of stupidity as being it you
know it’s it’s you have to take it into
account fundamentally and work with it
and so and so you can take these
tentative steps on your pathway to
destiny and you can assume that you’re
gonna do it badly and that’s really
useful because you don’t have to beat
yourself up it’s pretty easy to do it
badly
but the thing is it’s way better to do
it badly than not to do it at all so you
you start your path and you think that
you’re heading you know towards your
star and so you go in that direction and
then because you’re here the world looks
a particular way but then when you move
here the world looks different and
you’re different as a consequence of
having made that voyage and so what that
means is that now that thing that
glimmers in front of you is going to
have shifted its location because you
weren’t very good at specifying it to
begin with and now that you’re a little
sharper and more focused than you were
it’s it’s going to reveal itself with
more accuracy to you and so then you
have to take you know it’s almost like
180 degree reversal but it isn’t because
you know you’ve
I mean you’ve gone this far and that’s a
long ways to get that far but that’s a
lot farther than you would be if you
just stayed where you were waiting and
so it doesn’t matter that you overshoot
continually because as you overshoot
even if you don’t learn what you should
have done you’re going to continually
learn what you shouldn’t keep doing and
if you learn enough about what you
shouldn’t keep doing then that’s
tantamount at some point to learning at
the same time what you should be doing
so it’s okay so it’s like this now
what’s cool about it though I think is
that as you progress the degree of
overshooting starts to decline right and
that we know that there’s nothing
hypothetical about that as you learn a
new skill like even to play it play a
song on the piano for example you
overshoot madly you’re making all sorts
of mistakes to begin with and then the
mistakes they disappear so anyways the
fact that you’re full of faults doesn’t
mean you have to stop and thank God for
that that’s a really useful thing and
the fact that you’re full of faults
doesn’t mean that you can’t learn and so
you can pause it an ideal and you’re
going to be wrong about it
but it doesn’t matter because what
you’re right about is positing the ideal
moving towards it if the actual ideal
isn’t conceptualize perfectly well first
surprise surprise because like what are
you gonna do that’s perfect so it
doesn’t matter that it’s imperfect
imperfect it just matters that you do it
and that you move forward so that’s
really that’s really positive news as
far as I’m concerned because you can
actually do that right you can do it
badly anyone can do that so that’s
that’s useful rule number two develop
your communication skills I’m incredibly
nervous to talk in front of you because
you’ve got to be one of the most
formidable people that I’ve ever heard
of or ever listen to her ever seen so my
question is again you’re one of the best
communicators that I’ve ever listened to
if I could be half as good at you or at
communicating as you are I would be set
how can I teach myself to do that
practice you know really like well
there’s a couple of things is helps to
read a lot it really helped to write so
if you want to make yourself articulate
which is a very good idea then not only
should you read but you should write
down what you think and if you can do
that a little bit every day 15 minutes
maybe you could steal 15 minutes and do
it every day but if you do that for 10
years you really straighten out your
thinking if you’re gonna speak
effectively you have to know way more
than you’re talking about you know so if
you this is often difficult for
beginning lecturers at university
because they’ll do a lecture on a topic
but they only know as much as they’re
saying in the lecture and they get kind
of stuck to their notes because of it
but you want to know 10 times as much as
you are saying in the lecture and then
you can specify a stepping path through
it and elaborate with the other things
that you know but to do that you have to
do a lot of reading but you also have to
do a lot of reading because that’s where
the synthesize that’s where the
synthesizing comes so that’s on the
input side and then on the output side
well there’s some trick
techniques let’s say is like if you’re
speaking in front of a group you are not
delivering a talk to a group that’s not
what you’re doing the talk isn’t a
package thing that you present to a
group there isn’t a group there’s a
bunch of individuals and you talk to
them so when I talk to a group I always
talk to people one at a time and that
makes it easier to because you know how
to talk to a person it’s like can you
talk to a thousand people well probably
not because it’s too intimidating but
there isn’t a thousand people there
there’s a thousand individuals and so
you just look at an individual and you
say something and you can tell if
they’re engaged they look confused or
they look interested or they look angry
or they look bored or maybe they’re
asleep in which case you look at someone
else and they give you feedback about
how you’re doing and so one thing is to
to have something to say yeah but the
next thing is pay attention to who
you’re talking to because unless you’re
very badly socialized and that seems
unlikely in your case because you know
you present yourself at least moderately
well you know and well I mean I don’t
know you very well but at first but on
first sight you know you’re doing fine
so the probability that if you pay
attention to the individuals that you’re
talking to that your natural wealth of
social skill will manifest itself is
extremely high and so you don’t deliver
a talk to an audience that’s a really
bad way of thinking about you’re
actually engaged in a conversation with
an audience even if they’re not talking
they’re nodding and shifting position
and you know looking like this or and
you can you could pull that in and and
and use it to govern the level at which
you’re addressing the entire audience so
the last thing I would say is well
having the aim to be a good communicator
is a good start and you think well I
could bunch us that to some degree well
there isn’t anything that you can
possibly this is the whole point of a
liberal education there isn’t anything
that you can possibly do that makes you
more competent in everything you do
than to learn how to communicate I don’t
care if you’re gonna be a carpenter I
mean being a carpenter by the way is
very difficult especially if you’re a
good carpenter but if you’re good at
communicating as a carpenter you’re like
10 times better as a carpenter so the
and this is something that the liberal
arts colleges I think I don’t know if
they’ve forgotten it but they don’t do a
very good job of marketing it’s like
what’s the use of a bachelor’s degree
Bachelor of Arts it’s like well you can
think you can write you can speak you’ve
read something it’s like the economic
value that is incalculable the people
that I’ve watched in my life would be
spectacular ly successful are they have
skills clearly that that’s a minimum
precondition but they’re also very very
good at articulating themselves and so
whenever they negotiate they’re
successful well that’s kind of like the
definition of success in life right you
negotiate and you’re six it doesn’t mean
you win because if you’re a good
negotiator if you’re really good
negotiator everybody walks away from the
negotiation thrilled and so then people
line up to do things with you so and
that’s all that’s all dependent on your
ability to communicate so practice rule
number three struggle up the hill they
say do you believe in God let’s say and
my response to that always is well I
don’t know what you mean when you ask me
that question so I don’t know how to
answer it I don’t know what you mean by
belief but I can tell you something that
I believe and I would say this is a way
of speaking symbolically I do believe so
I was thinking the other day a week ago
I was thinking about this little fantasy
that entered my mind I was thinking
about st. Joseph’s oratorio in Montreal
and st. joseph´s oratorio is a very
large religious building it’s one of the
biggest cathedral like structures in the
world and it’s set on the hill won’t
Royal and it’s set up where it can catch
the Sun you know so it’s an image of the
heavenly City on the hill right it’s an
image of the structures that we strive
to create that’s what it is in
independent of its specifically
Christian or religious function that’s
what it stands for symbolically okay so
it’s the city on the hill it’s it’s what
we’re striving towards
when we walk uphill in life okay now the
way the oratorio is structured there’s
hundreds of steps leading to it upfront
and in the early part of the 20th
century a lot of people who had physical
disabilities came there and they
struggled up the step on their crutches
and many of them left their crutches in
the oratorio you can see hundreds of
them if you go there it’s quite an
interesting sight and I was thinking
about that and I was thinking about what
that meant and this is what it means it
means that you know everyone has their
disabilities let’s say and I know that
some people are far more terribly
affected than other people I’m perfectly
aware of that but the question is what
do you do about that and what you do is
you you set yourself up on your damn
crutches and you struggle up the bloody
hill that’s what you do and you struggle
up the hill towards the kingdom of God
that’s what you do because the
alternative is to descend into the abyss
that’s the alternative and then so to
say well do you believe it’s like I
believe that you should struggle uphill
towards the City of God on your crutches
that’s what you should do that’s the
opposite of the descent into the abyss
and so that’s that’s at the foundation
of our civilization that idea well argue
with it if you will see if you can
figure out why that’s not an acceptable
idea maybe you should help someone
struggle up the hill perhaps you should
you know you can lend a hand to someone
holy you don’t want to take the burden
away from them entirely because there’s
something noble about struggling up the
damn Hill right there’s something that’s
adventure that’s the call to proper
being it’s like well we don’t need to
forget this you know we don’t need to
forget it the universities have been
there since time immemorial to try to
push that idea forward through the
generations and everyone needs to know
that idea that’s what gives your life
not happiness forget about that if it
comes well great accept it dignity
nobility character truth responsibility
beauty those are the things to aim for
rule number four stop wasting
opportunities my experience is with
people that were probably running at
about fifty one percent of our capacity
something mean you can think about this
yourselves I often ask undergraduates
how many hours a day you waste or how
many hours a week you waste and the
classic answer is something like four to
six hours a day
you know inefficient studying watching
things on YouTube that not only do you
not want to watch that you don’t even
care about that make you feel horrible
about watching after you’re done that’s
probably four hours right there know
what you think well that’s 2025 hours a
week it’s a hundred hours a month that’s
two and a half full work weeks it’s half
a year of work weeks per year and if
your time is worth twenty dollars an
hour which is a radical under estimate
it’s probably more like 50 if you think
about it in terms of deferred wages if
you’re wasting 20 hours a week
you’re wasting fifty thousand dollars a
year and you are doing that right now
and it’s because you’re young wasting
fifty thousand dollars a year is a way
bigger catastrophe than it would be for
me to waste it because I’m not going to
last nearly as long and so if your life
isn’t everything it could be you could
ask yourself well what would happen if
you just stopped wasting the
opportunities that are in front of you
you be who knows how much more efficient
ten times more efficient twenty times
more efficient that’s the Pareto
distribution you have no idea how
efficient efficient people get it’s
completely it’s off the charts well and
if we all got our act together
collectively and stop making things
worse because that’s another thing
people do all the time not only do they
not do what they should to make things
better they actively attempt to make
things worse because they’re spiteful or
resentful or arrogant or deceitful or or
homicidal or genocide alure all of those
things all bundled together in an
absolutely pathological package if
people start really really trying just
to make things worse we have no idea how
much better they would get just because
of that rule number five eat a little
poison every day the more radical than
necessary change the more pain that
accompanies it like the more opportunity
as well but and a lot of what we learn
we learn painfully and so it’s not
surprising that people shrink away from
learning we learn in pain and anxiety
very frequently everyone knows that like
the
things that really that you really
learned in life it’s like there was no
joy man like it took you out and so the
fact that people flee from that is
hardly surprising but it doesn’t help
that’s the thing it just stores up the
catastrophe for later and so the better
the better idea is to eat a little
poison every day so that you don’t have
to overdose in a month
it’s something like that and it is the
case that I think because you don’t you
aren’t forced first of all you don’t
learn unless you’re forced to learn I
know there’s alternatives to that
there’s the voluntary search for
knowledge and that’s a fine thing and
that is an antidote to this but apart
from that speaking more practically you
tend not to learn unless you’re forced
to learn and it’s and what you tend to
learn by force are difficult lessons and
so people are very prone to not do not
seek that out it’s not surprising but
it’s because they don’t understand the
consequences very well you know you you
it’s because maybe it’s because they’re
convinced that there’s some way of for
stalling the necessary learning and
there isn’t any way of for stalling it
all you do is make it worse in the
future you make yourself smaller and you
make the lesson harder and so that’s why
in so many religious doctrines there’s
emphasis on humility you know and
humility isn’t to debase yourself it’s
to understand that you don’t know enough
so that your life isn’t going to be
miserable and so every chance you get to
grab something new that will help you
along your way you should take it as
fast as you can but you have to have a
very tragic I would say view of reality
and also a harsh one because it’s not
just tragedy it’s also malevolence you
have to understand that those are
waiting for you and that makes you
desperate enough to learn and that might
be make you desperate enough to fall out
of your ideology but that’s that’s a
hard way of looking at the world it
beats living through it though and rule
number six the last
to me for a very special bonus clip is
get a routine no one can live without a
routine you just forget that if you guys
don’t have a routine I would recommend
like you get one going because you
cannot be mentally healthy without a
routine you need to pick a time to get
up whatever time you want but pick one
and stick to it because otherwise you
dis regulate your circadian rhythms and
they regulate your mood and eat
something in the morning I had lots of
clients who’ve had anxiety disorders I
had one client who was literally
starving very smart girl sheet there’s
very little that she liked she kind of
tried to subsist on like half a cup of
rice a day she came to me and said I
have no energy I come home all I want to
do is watch the same movie over and over
what like is that weird and I thought
well it depends on how hard you work you
know it’s a little weird but whatever
it’s familiar you’re looking for comfort
so I did an analysis of her diet it’s
like three quarters of a cup of rice
it’s like you’re starving eat something
you know you’ll feel better
so she modified her diet and her all her
anxiety went away and she had some
energy it’s like yeah you got to eat so
a schedule that’s a good thing man your
brain will thank you for it
it will stabilize your nervous system
which is a bit of a plan that’s a good
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
on how to find balance that I think
you’re really gonna enjoy but before
that it’s time for the three-point
landing questions time to move from just
watching another video to actually
taking some kind of action in your life
and in your business answer these
questions on your own in the notebook
talk about them with a friend or leave
your answers in the comments below here
we go question number one what do you
need to start doing question number two
what’s the biggest change you’re gonna
make to your morning routine starting
tomorrow and question number three what
opportunity is your current behavior
preventing you from accomplishing thank
you guys so much for watching I believe
in you I hope we continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
if you concentrate solely on your career
you can get a long way in your career
and I would say that that’s a strategy
that a minority of men preferentially do
that that’s all they do
they worked like 70 80 hours a week they
go flat out on their career they’re
staking everything on the small
probability of exceptional status in a
narrow domain but it’s it’s hard on them
they don’t have a life it’s very
difficult for them to have a family they
don’t know how to take any leisure
activity like they get very
one-dimensional now it may be that that
unit dimensionality is the price you
have to pay to be exceptional at one
thing right because if you’re going to
be something like a genius level
mathematician and you want to do that
for a scientist say it’s like you’re in
your lab you’re in your lab all the time
you’re working 70 hours a week or 80
hours a week you’re smart you’re
dedicated your unit dimensional and
that’s how you get to beat all the other
people who are doing that it’s the only
way but the problem is you don’t get a
life
now if you love being a scientist and
you have that kind of focus of mind well
first of all you’re a rare person and
second you’re gonna pay for it but find
more power to you but but it’s a it’s a
risky business to do that you sacrifice
a lot for it you know and I would say
most often if you’re speaking about
having a healthy life that isn’t what
you do you spread yourself out more so
you know you have a family you have some
things that you do outside of work that
are meaningful to you and useful you you
have a network of friends that that
those three things a loner four things
alone are plenty to keep you well
oriented and then if one of those things
collapses
you know everything doesn’t go now the
price you pay for that is the more you
strive to optimize that balance the less
likely you are to be fantastically
successful at any single one of them but
you might have a very you know if you
couldn’t consider your life as a whole
that might be a winning strategy one of
the things Carl Jung said I really like
this
he thought that men went after
perfection and when women went after
wholeness so they’re different they’re
different
tell you there did they’re different
there’s something different at the top
of the value hierarchy so perfection
would be stake it all on one thing and
look for radical success not all not
that all men do that because they don’t
but we’re talking about extremes
at least with regards to the men that do
that the wholeness idea is more like
well I want I want it’s like I want one
thing in my life to be a hundred and
fifty percent or I want five things in
my life to be 80 percent well there’s a
lot more richness in a life where you
have five things operating at 80 percent
but you’re not operating in any of that
any of them at a hundred and fifty
percent so and I really believe this
because I’ve watched men and women go
through their careers now for a long
period of time and one of the things
that there’s lots of things that produce
this but one of the things that I’ve
noticed is that mostly women in their
30s bear bail out of uni-dimensional
careers they won’t do them they won’t
they won’t put in the 80 hours a week
that they would have to put in in order
to dominate that particular area and it
isn’t the reason that they won’t do it
is because they decide it’s not worth it
and no wonder because why would that be
worth it you have to ask yourself that
it’s like well you want to be an
outstanding scientist it’s like okay
really really that’s what you want
because that means that’s what you do
because you’re competing with other
people you know they’re smart they’re
hard-working and if you want to be at
the top you have to be smarter and work
harder than any of them and working hard
means working long hours I mean it also
means working diligently but in in the
final analysis it’s also an additive
issue if I’m smart and hard-working and
I can crank out for 70 hours a week and
you do it for 30 it’s like in two years
I’m so far ahead of you you will never
ever catch up altruistic world
domination
honey Empire right I’m grateful I
understand why I’m here I think because
I am so
I wanted to think and say it’s a bloody
brief life all of you have the potential
for enormous success if you want to know
what Gary Vee DJ Khalid Oprah and others
know about empire building that most
people miss check out the link in the description for a free bonus video
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