good morning believe nation today we’re
going to talk about how to control your
anger we started out the week talking
about the number one way people lose
their own personal power is through
their ego and there’s no better way for
the ego to show itself then through
holding on to anger or holding on to
past over the years we did many shows
with people who showed us how anger set
them back how holding on to the past set
them back and I can’t forgive her and I
think about it every day and I’m so
angry because the damage is done I blame
each and every one of them everyone that
had anything to do with this I can’t
forgive him for what he did
this is what I know for sure I know that
if you allow the past to define your
present that you never actually really
get to live the life that you were meant
to live because you’re always holding on
to what was and always holding and
defining yourself by what was or what
should have been or what could have been
and one of the best lessons for me with
this is learning that revenge is another
way that the ego shows itself when you
think that you deserve to be treated a
certain way you think you deserve to
have things a certain way you think that
you deserve deserve deserve deserve and
other people have done you wrong instead
of again living from the true self
tip number one learn to identify what
situations or circumstances end up
setting you up what makes you mad
because until you identify what
situations really just take you to level
12 you’re never going to be able to
control it once you identify the
situations or circumstances that make
you super pissed or upset or lose
control then you can try to not be or
get yourself in those situations
avoidance but avoidance is only so good
because if it’s like other dudes looking
at your girl right it makes you crazy
jealous and just infuriated with rage
well you can’t just not go out of the
house so you kind of needs a move on to
step number two identify the anger or
feeling as soon as it starts because it
doesn’t normally right when we get upset
it builds right it’s not something that
just all of a sudden bang you’re in this
just under emotional it starts like a 1
and graduate now it can gradually
increase fast and escalate quickly but
if you can identify that feeling the
feeling that you get when you start to
get intensely angry or upset then you
can well you can deal with it if you can
identify the feeling when it first
starts you can do things to help you not
escalate and really it’s this escalation
that gets things just way out of hand
and out of control
remember it’s ultimately about control
you controlling your emotions you can’t
necessarily control how you react to
certain things and this fact that things
get you upset but you can control the
escalation of that anger how do you let
go of anger and resentment I have so
much anger toward my ex that I can’t
shake and I think it’s unhealthy for me
this is a big question it’s it’s hugely
I know me you’re absolutely right your
instincts are right the fact that you’re
looking for the answer means you’ll find
it you know you will follow through the
question is will you do it now or you
wait a while and keep suffering I think
it was Nelson Mandela said resentment is
like you know drinking poison and
expecting your enemy
it’s like you know it just doesn’t work
that when people say I need to forgive
to forgive you have to have a belief
system that you’re better than somebody
else with somebody harmed you most
people are doing the best they can
human beings have a need to feel
significant they have a need to feel
certain and out of feeling insignificant
uncertain they sometimes do stupid
things you know it takes two to tango
somebody wants seven things Spinoza said
no matter how thin you slice it there’s
always two sides and even in my own
experience what a relationship doesn’t
work it isn’t that they’re horrible this
person may have done something that hurt
you but they didn’t do it to hurt you
they did it because they felt insecure
they did it because they were starving
for love they did it because they didn’t
feel like they were important enough to
you they did it for a variety of reasons
you’re not them no but you need to move
on and instead of forgiving forgiving is
like you’re better than just think about
this forgive yourself for being so
caught up in this because the anger is
hurting you it’s not hurting them one
way that we allow ourselves to be our
puppet is by giving away our power
imagine that I’m a superhero and I have
my power source and my power source is
right here inside me and let’s say
someone comes along and they start to
say disrespectful things to me are
hurtful things to me if someone’s going
to be disrespectful and hurtful or mean
in some way and if this was my power
source why in the world would I take my
power sources and hand it over to that
person that doesn’t make a lot of sense
does it
in fact if I’m in a tough situation and
someone’s attempting to take my power of
anything I want to hold on to my power I
want to be in control of my power but we
do frequently someone says or does
something we don’t like
like our cartoon world we imagined they
were gonna say it one way but the real
world is they say it another way and we
take our power and we hand it to
somebody now if our power was something
physical or tangible that we could see
and touch I’m not sure we would be so
quick and handing it away this technique
is such a genuinely powerful technique I
was teaching it at one time a guy came
back into my group and he said you know
I wouldn’t be here this week if it
wasn’t for what you taught us about
giving away our power a couple weeks ago
he said see how was outside my house and
I saw a guy who was in a rival gang of
mine and this guy stabbed me several
years ago and he said I saw him he was
by himself and I could have got him so I
went into my house I went in my closet I
pull out my gun I cocked my gun as soon
as I cocked my gun he said I saw your
face doc I’m not a big fan of people
seeing my face when they’re talking a
gun but we laughed and I said go ahead
tell me what happened he said I saw your
face and I remembered what you said
about giving away my power and I thought
if I go out there and I take him out
which I can do that’s fine for that
moment but then I’ll go to jail for the
rest of my life and I like my freedom
I’m tired of being in prison I want to
be out and if I go kill him I will
essentially give him my power so that he
can determine what the rest of my life’s
gonna be and I thought to myself I’m not
giving him my power I put my gun down I
went in my house I closed the door that
understanding that technique not only
saved that man’s life who he would have
killed but it saved a man in my group
who chose to save his own life by not
letting someone else control him by not
letting what happened in the past
control him by holding on to his power
instead of giving it away see ya if
you’re driving in the car with those
streets if you’re driving in the
parameter Street you have to avoid the
medians which are placed in are places
you have to avoid bad drivers you have
to avoid drunken men crossing the street
children crossing the street all kinds
of things but when you’re driving and
Carmichael Street do you have to avoid
the moon I’m asking do you have to avoid
the moon no because the moon is not on
the street isn’t it so similarly right
now are you angry no then why should you
avoid it there’s no need to avoid it it
is just that you think anger is an
entity and anger is not an entity you
become
you become angry anger is not sitting
somewhere and you go hit it there is no
such thing
you become angle when you become angry
is it Pleasant for you or unpleasant
unpleasantly unpleasant for others for
sure and pleasant for yourself also
today medical science proves to you when
you’re angry you’re actually poisoning
your system you know we have always
known this but today chemical tests
clearly show you that you’re actually
poisoning your system generating poison
in the system by being angry so why
would you want to poison yourself it is
not a conscious act you’re poisoning
yourself you are causing unpleasantness
to yourself only because your mind is
not taking instructions from you is it
it is not taking instructions from you
if it was taking instructions from you
you would have said blissfulness isn’t
it you wouldn’t say anger but now when
you want to be peaceful it is getting
angry because it is not taking
instructions from you so if your mind is
not taking instructions from you you
have to pay a little more attention to
it why is it not taking instructions
from you if you understand this you
don’t have to avoid anger because anger
is not sort of sitting there and getting
at you you are becoming angry you are
becoming unhappy you are becoming
miserable these things are happening to
you essentially because you have not
done anything to take your faculties and
are your control it is happening
accidentally just by chance if outside
situations are good you are also good if
outside situations are bad you are also
bad
that is not how human life should be
human life should be like this if I am
good everything around
becomes good this should be the reality
isn’t it right now if things around me
or whichever way I will become that way
no human consciousness should create
situations right now situations are
creating human consciousness that’s not
the right way to say become at life I
don’t like it when you say you don’t
wanna play with me when I’m mad my brain
can get a headache and I can start
hurting your blood keeps pumping because
you’re like really mad and you started
get sweaty because you’re getting really
really mad and then when you start
getting really mad you turn red it’s
kind of like if you had a jar and then
the jar would be your brain and then you
put glitter in the jar and that would be
our you assailant if you shook up the
jar and the glitter went everywhere that
would be how your mind looks when I get
angry I feel it in my heart you make do
up really reacts but the prefrontal
cortex tries to keep it down when I like
feel like I want to you know get really
angry and yeah I just like sometimes you
know like take a deep breath
like first you find a place where you
can be alone then you find some way to
relax and calm down
well I need to calm down I take deep
breaths
I breathe in through my nose
sometimes I close my eyes or just take
deep breaths there like it’s calming
downs like not like moving its like
slowing down and then it stops no heart
plums slow and then it goes into your
brain
it’s like all the sparkles are at the
bottom of your brain my brain like slows
down and then like I feel more calm and
then I’m like ready to speak to that
that person
this is an interesting one for me
because I don’t get angry
that often I’ll get frustrated I might
get stressed but I don’t get angry that
often I’m not too outside of the control
of my emotions very often I think it
comes from one seeking to understand so
I try to think about why this person is
doing this thing think about from their
perspective try to have a conversation
with them to see you know what led to
them creating this decision because it’s
very rarely them trying to screw me over
and by me understanding that context it
helps and so having a conversation often
is the solution for me and just seeking
to understand for the very few times
that I do get really angry to the point
where I think I might regret something
that I’m I would say which again very
rarely happens but for me I find I need
to be alone I work best just having it
in my head and and even meditating on it
or just relaxing or sleeping on it I’ll
wake up and I’ll be more calm and ready
to deal with it I might go for a run I
might have a shower
I find for me at least it’s I need to
just get rid of it myself I don’t find
value in venting to somebody else or
involved in somebody else that just adds
more chaos for me I have to deal with it
myself and then I’m ready to deal with
other people but I think in terms of
being able to not get angry in the first
place that really helped by trying to
understand where these other people are
coming from because it’s very rarely
again that they are trying to actually
screw you over they’re just living their
life and fighting their own battles and
you can understand that you’ll both be
less angry
so I’d love to know what you guys think
what did you enjoy about the clips did
you learn anything new that will help
you handle your anger how do you handle
your anger leave it in the comments
below really curious to find out thank
you guys so much for watching have an
amazing day
continue to believe and I’ll see you
soon
it doesn’t take a lot to make me angry
what about you did some schmuck cut you
off on the freeway maybe your boyfriend
accidentally shredded that birthday card
your grandma sent you so you freaked out
you scream maybe a vein pops out of your
forehead it happens to everyone but did
you know that anger is actually
affecting your physical health hey
anger is inevitable okay you can’t just
stop getting angry even the world’s most
sedate person has uttered a few choice
words in traffic
well that ex would’ve fessed really make
you feel better well punching a wall
really calm you down the answer is no
sorry but recent studies have shown that
angry reactions are pretty harmful to
your physical health a Yale University
study found that people with anger
management issues tend to get sick more
often their anger actually weakens their
immune system the Journal of the
National Medical Association added that
people who respond negatively to anger
are 9 percent more likely to have a
heart attack hey that might not sound
like a lot but come on it’s a heart
attack every percentage point counts
other studies have linked anger to
everything from coronary disease to high
blood pressure
going to talk about how to control your
anger we started out the week talking
about the number one way people lose
their own personal power is through
their ego and there’s no better way for
the ego to show itself then through
holding on to anger or holding on to
past over the years we did many shows
with people who showed us how anger set
them back how holding on to the past set
them back and I can’t forgive her and I
think about it every day and I’m so
angry because the damage is done I blame
each and every one of them everyone that
had anything to do with this I can’t
forgive him for what he did
this is what I know for sure I know that
if you allow the past to define your
present that you never actually really
get to live the life that you were meant
to live because you’re always holding on
to what was and always holding and
defining yourself by what was or what
should have been or what could have been
and one of the best lessons for me with
this is learning that revenge is another
way that the ego shows itself when you
think that you deserve to be treated a
certain way you think you deserve to
have things a certain way you think that
you deserve deserve deserve deserve and
other people have done you wrong instead
of again living from the true self
tip number one learn to identify what
situations or circumstances end up
setting you up what makes you mad
because until you identify what
situations really just take you to level
12 you’re never going to be able to
control it once you identify the
situations or circumstances that make
you super pissed or upset or lose
control then you can try to not be or
get yourself in those situations
avoidance but avoidance is only so good
because if it’s like other dudes looking
at your girl right it makes you crazy
jealous and just infuriated with rage
well you can’t just not go out of the
house so you kind of needs a move on to
step number two identify the anger or
feeling as soon as it starts because it
doesn’t normally right when we get upset
it builds right it’s not something that
just all of a sudden bang you’re in this
just under emotional it starts like a 1
and graduate now it can gradually
increase fast and escalate quickly but
if you can identify that feeling the
feeling that you get when you start to
get intensely angry or upset then you
can well you can deal with it if you can
identify the feeling when it first
starts you can do things to help you not
escalate and really it’s this escalation
that gets things just way out of hand
and out of control
remember it’s ultimately about control
you controlling your emotions you can’t
necessarily control how you react to
certain things and this fact that things
get you upset but you can control the
escalation of that anger how do you let
go of anger and resentment I have so
much anger toward my ex that I can’t
shake and I think it’s unhealthy for me
this is a big question it’s it’s hugely
I know me you’re absolutely right your
instincts are right the fact that you’re
looking for the answer means you’ll find
it you know you will follow through the
question is will you do it now or you
wait a while and keep suffering I think
it was Nelson Mandela said resentment is
like you know drinking poison and
expecting your enemy
it’s like you know it just doesn’t work
that when people say I need to forgive
to forgive you have to have a belief
system that you’re better than somebody
else with somebody harmed you most
people are doing the best they can
human beings have a need to feel
significant they have a need to feel
certain and out of feeling insignificant
uncertain they sometimes do stupid
things you know it takes two to tango
somebody wants seven things Spinoza said
no matter how thin you slice it there’s
always two sides and even in my own
experience what a relationship doesn’t
work it isn’t that they’re horrible this
person may have done something that hurt
you but they didn’t do it to hurt you
they did it because they felt insecure
they did it because they were starving
for love they did it because they didn’t
feel like they were important enough to
you they did it for a variety of reasons
you’re not them no but you need to move
on and instead of forgiving forgiving is
like you’re better than just think about
this forgive yourself for being so
caught up in this because the anger is
hurting you it’s not hurting them one
way that we allow ourselves to be our
puppet is by giving away our power
imagine that I’m a superhero and I have
my power source and my power source is
right here inside me and let’s say
someone comes along and they start to
say disrespectful things to me are
hurtful things to me if someone’s going
to be disrespectful and hurtful or mean
in some way and if this was my power
source why in the world would I take my
power sources and hand it over to that
person that doesn’t make a lot of sense
does it
in fact if I’m in a tough situation and
someone’s attempting to take my power of
anything I want to hold on to my power I
want to be in control of my power but we
do frequently someone says or does
something we don’t like
like our cartoon world we imagined they
were gonna say it one way but the real
world is they say it another way and we
take our power and we hand it to
somebody now if our power was something
physical or tangible that we could see
and touch I’m not sure we would be so
quick and handing it away this technique
is such a genuinely powerful technique I
was teaching it at one time a guy came
back into my group and he said you know
I wouldn’t be here this week if it
wasn’t for what you taught us about
giving away our power a couple weeks ago
he said see how was outside my house and
I saw a guy who was in a rival gang of
mine and this guy stabbed me several
years ago and he said I saw him he was
by himself and I could have got him so I
went into my house I went in my closet I
pull out my gun I cocked my gun as soon
as I cocked my gun he said I saw your
face doc I’m not a big fan of people
seeing my face when they’re talking a
gun but we laughed and I said go ahead
tell me what happened he said I saw your
face and I remembered what you said
about giving away my power and I thought
if I go out there and I take him out
which I can do that’s fine for that
moment but then I’ll go to jail for the
rest of my life and I like my freedom
I’m tired of being in prison I want to
be out and if I go kill him I will
essentially give him my power so that he
can determine what the rest of my life’s
gonna be and I thought to myself I’m not
giving him my power I put my gun down I
went in my house I closed the door that
understanding that technique not only
saved that man’s life who he would have
killed but it saved a man in my group
who chose to save his own life by not
letting someone else control him by not
letting what happened in the past
control him by holding on to his power
instead of giving it away see ya if
you’re driving in the car with those
streets if you’re driving in the
parameter Street you have to avoid the
medians which are placed in are places
you have to avoid bad drivers you have
to avoid drunken men crossing the street
children crossing the street all kinds
of things but when you’re driving and
Carmichael Street do you have to avoid
the moon I’m asking do you have to avoid
the moon no because the moon is not on
the street isn’t it so similarly right
now are you angry no then why should you
avoid it there’s no need to avoid it it
is just that you think anger is an
entity and anger is not an entity you
become
you become angry anger is not sitting
somewhere and you go hit it there is no
such thing
you become angle when you become angry
is it Pleasant for you or unpleasant
unpleasantly unpleasant for others for
sure and pleasant for yourself also
today medical science proves to you when
you’re angry you’re actually poisoning
your system you know we have always
known this but today chemical tests
clearly show you that you’re actually
poisoning your system generating poison
in the system by being angry so why
would you want to poison yourself it is
not a conscious act you’re poisoning
yourself you are causing unpleasantness
to yourself only because your mind is
not taking instructions from you is it
it is not taking instructions from you
if it was taking instructions from you
you would have said blissfulness isn’t
it you wouldn’t say anger but now when
you want to be peaceful it is getting
angry because it is not taking
instructions from you so if your mind is
not taking instructions from you you
have to pay a little more attention to
it why is it not taking instructions
from you if you understand this you
don’t have to avoid anger because anger
is not sort of sitting there and getting
at you you are becoming angry you are
becoming unhappy you are becoming
miserable these things are happening to
you essentially because you have not
done anything to take your faculties and
are your control it is happening
accidentally just by chance if outside
situations are good you are also good if
outside situations are bad you are also
bad
that is not how human life should be
human life should be like this if I am
good everything around
becomes good this should be the reality
isn’t it right now if things around me
or whichever way I will become that way
no human consciousness should create
situations right now situations are
creating human consciousness that’s not
the right way to say become at life I
don’t like it when you say you don’t
wanna play with me when I’m mad my brain
can get a headache and I can start
hurting your blood keeps pumping because
you’re like really mad and you started
get sweaty because you’re getting really
really mad and then when you start
getting really mad you turn red it’s
kind of like if you had a jar and then
the jar would be your brain and then you
put glitter in the jar and that would be
our you assailant if you shook up the
jar and the glitter went everywhere that
would be how your mind looks when I get
angry I feel it in my heart you make do
up really reacts but the prefrontal
cortex tries to keep it down when I like
feel like I want to you know get really
angry and yeah I just like sometimes you
know like take a deep breath
like first you find a place where you
can be alone then you find some way to
relax and calm down
well I need to calm down I take deep
breaths
I breathe in through my nose
sometimes I close my eyes or just take
deep breaths there like it’s calming
downs like not like moving its like
slowing down and then it stops no heart
plums slow and then it goes into your
brain
it’s like all the sparkles are at the
bottom of your brain my brain like slows
down and then like I feel more calm and
then I’m like ready to speak to that
that person
this is an interesting one for me
because I don’t get angry
that often I’ll get frustrated I might
get stressed but I don’t get angry that
often I’m not too outside of the control
of my emotions very often I think it
comes from one seeking to understand so
I try to think about why this person is
doing this thing think about from their
perspective try to have a conversation
with them to see you know what led to
them creating this decision because it’s
very rarely them trying to screw me over
and by me understanding that context it
helps and so having a conversation often
is the solution for me and just seeking
to understand for the very few times
that I do get really angry to the point
where I think I might regret something
that I’m I would say which again very
rarely happens but for me I find I need
to be alone I work best just having it
in my head and and even meditating on it
or just relaxing or sleeping on it I’ll
wake up and I’ll be more calm and ready
to deal with it I might go for a run I
might have a shower
I find for me at least it’s I need to
just get rid of it myself I don’t find
value in venting to somebody else or
involved in somebody else that just adds
more chaos for me I have to deal with it
myself and then I’m ready to deal with
other people but I think in terms of
being able to not get angry in the first
place that really helped by trying to
understand where these other people are
coming from because it’s very rarely
again that they are trying to actually
screw you over they’re just living their
life and fighting their own battles and
you can understand that you’ll both be
less angry
so I’d love to know what you guys think
what did you enjoy about the clips did
you learn anything new that will help
you handle your anger how do you handle
your anger leave it in the comments
below really curious to find out thank
you guys so much for watching have an
amazing day
continue to believe and I’ll see you
soon
it doesn’t take a lot to make me angry
what about you did some schmuck cut you
off on the freeway maybe your boyfriend
accidentally shredded that birthday card
your grandma sent you so you freaked out
you scream maybe a vein pops out of your
forehead it happens to everyone but did
you know that anger is actually
affecting your physical health hey
anger is inevitable okay you can’t just
stop getting angry even the world’s most
sedate person has uttered a few choice
words in traffic
well that ex would’ve fessed really make
you feel better well punching a wall
really calm you down the answer is no
sorry but recent studies have shown that
angry reactions are pretty harmful to
your physical health a Yale University
study found that people with anger
management issues tend to get sick more
often their anger actually weakens their
immune system the Journal of the
National Medical Association added that
people who respond negatively to anger
are 9 percent more likely to have a
heart attack hey that might not sound
like a lot but come on it’s a heart
attack every percentage point counts
other studies have linked anger to
everything from coronary disease to high
blood pressure
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