peace infinite waters diving deep once
again we have a very special episode how
to remove negative subconscious beliefs
we want to welcome Carol Morgan Carol
Morgan has a PhD in communication and is
a professor at Wright State University
she is also a motivational expert on the
TV show living day tone the co-host of a
popular radio show video expert for a
house calm frequent keynote speaker and
a member of inspire ease comms expert
network you can subscribe to her blog
take her a courses and check out her
books at WWDC arrow morgan calm well
thank you so much dr. carol for taking
time out of your busy schedule thank you
for having me I’m so happy to be here
well we’re gonna dive deep yes I love
your articles on life hacker phenomenal
thank you I love writing for it and you
know that’s one of the things that I
love doing is getting my knowledge
outside of the traditional classroom and
so I love writing those articles and
doing all sorts stuff like this where
did this journey first begin for you
well probably when I was a teenager my
mom was a nun a Catholic nun before she
met my dad and had us three children and
so now she when she’s obviously not in
it anymore and she’s got on the
spiritual journey since then and she
started exploring all kinds of different
spirituality and it kind of led her to a
lot of Eastern beliefs like
reincarnation all these books and so by
time I was a teenager and into college
she kept passing on books to me and
she’s such a seeker and they’re curious
soul and so mine so I started reading
all of these books about spirituality
and one group of books in particular was
about past life regression and is
written
and man named dick Sutphin who
ironically has become a good friend of
mine and is a co-writer on my book but
anyway in his books a lot of them he
talks about how passed like aggression
and if people don’t know what that is is
basically using hypnosis to uncover you
know I know not everybody can pass laws
but you know let’s say somebody’s really
overweight in this life and maybe they
discovered in a past life that they
starved to death and so your
subconscious mind is over
overcompensating for that by keeping
weight on you because you don’t want to
starve to death
so it was real case studies like that
that I read in a lot of these books I
was reading that started to fascinate me
and not even just rooted in past lives
because not everybody at everybody
believes in past lives but you know I’m
a communication professor – and so I’ve
discovered that really my interests and
all of that spiritual stuff and the
stuff that I teach now is really
interconnected because you know when I
teach about family communication and
talk about all the messages that we get
not only from our family but from our
siblings from our peers from the media
the world so you know parents mean well
but even if it’s just like you know
money doesn’t grow on trees what do you
think I may have money if you hear these
messages too many times as a kid it’s
going to really block you and you don’t
even know it and that’s one of the
things I do when I do like workshops and
seminars or speaking events especially
around money people have a lot of flocks
because they did hear these negative
messages growing up like you know no we
can’t afford that or you know I’m not
made of money or no no no no no when it
comes to money so a lot of us have these
subconscious blogs like oh okay there’s
not enough money or I I’m going to have
enough money one of the things I have to
do with people at a group too is do
aside kind of this sum it’s a process I
call and I read out about ten different
statements that I had them fill in the
first thought that comes to mind and one
of them is money is and then they just
have to like don’t even think about it
and a lot of people say some negative
things like
it’s some root of all evil or if I say
rich people are they go greedy or things
like that and so and they’re like oh I
didn’t even know I didn’t know I believe
that and so that’s really what I like to
get to it’s that split-second before you
can even process it
those are your subconscious the lace
that are lurking around and you don’t
even know right what I love about your
articles is that people can relate to
them because you talk about real issues
and that’s what I love about them and
what are some of the common negative
subconscious beliefs we have I know one
I am not good enough oh you know I am
watched one of your other podcasts and
not the whole thing but you’re talking
about how most people just don’t love
themselves and we really get so many
negative messages I mean even if you
have parents who are positive and give
you a lot of messages there’s always
some sort of negative processing that
goes on in our world because we just
live in a world of negativity
unfortunately like for instance I mean
my parents were pretty positive and they
gave me a lot of positive messages and
in general I have pretty good
self-esteem and I don’t atribute that to
me I tribute it to them because they
gave me positive messages however I’m
the youngest of three girls and my
oldest sister while both of them
actually got in particular my oldest
sister who’s six years older than me has
always been like model skinny like super
small and skinny and my middle sister
was not quite as skinny but pretty close
and I’ve never been overweight I’ve been
just comparing myself to my sisters
unfortunately gave me a worse body image
then I would prefer and so I’ve been
fighting that thinking you know I look
fine I’m trying to reprogram myself with
that so you know it’s not even so much
that my parents ever said anything
negative about my body or my weight but
just me comparing to my sisters or you
know we see all these movie stars out
there who are gorgeous and you know if
there’s a tabloid magazine and they
gained two pounds or they go my gosh
they’re fat and it’s just it’s really
bad on all of our self-esteem so I think
that yeah I think people really need to
learn to love themselves and accept
themselves and that’s why I do like
writing those articles because and what
I teach not only just in the college
classrooms but all of this kind of stuff
is really real-world applicable and hype
and a searcher and focus on
self-improvement my whole life and
that’s what I need to tell my students
it’s like you know I don’t want you to
just like get an A and leave I want you
to use this stuff I want you to do self
reflection and you know change your life
for the better but it really starts with
you and that’s what my motto is like
success from the inside out you know you
can’t be successful like for me success
is happiness but you have to start here
you know you need to change your thought
processes but if these subconscious
thought processes are blocking us and we
don’t even know it then we have a
problem
I say that the body is a subconscious
mind and a big problem is we think our
thoughts are real right and we have this
attachment to our thoughts what I love
about one of your articles you said 12
toxic thoughts you need to drop for a
better life please go into that it’s not
so important right now
yeah I don’t have it in front of me and
I didn’t memorize all of them but that
was my most popular article on life hack
it was shared over like eighty six
thousand times on social media which for
me is so humbling I’m like not only did
eighty six thousand people like it
enough to share it we not from an ego
perspective but just like wow I’m so
happy that I could help them at least
and um that’s really interesting to me
that that particular article was the
most popular I had a couple articles
that were pretty popular too one was
about getting through a rough times in
your life and that was shared like
sixty-three thousand times or something
but I think that people I think that
maybe article is a wake-up call for
people like I’m not so sure they knew
that they had those
thoughts running through their head um
I’ve had people actually say that oh ma
thank you or oh no I saw myself in ten
of those twelve things thanks for
pointing it up to me
so um yeah I don’t have all of them from
me but it’s you know a lot of them are
things like you’re not a victim a lot of
people think that we are victim of what
happens to us and yes we can’t control
everything that happens to us but what
we can control is how we think about
what happens to us so one of my motto is
when my many models is it’s not a
problem unless you think it’s a problem
and if it’s not a problem then it’s a
learning opportunity and so I figure
that everything in life has the
potential to be a learning opportunity
if we choose to make it that way but so
many people just dwell on the negatives
and therefore they have all these toxic
thoughts that go through the mind and
just send them and to really kind of a
downward negative spiral so yeah that
article in particular I it really opened
my eyes a lot to what people need in
life and it was drugs in with I mean
really their own worst enemies
themselves right you know you said that
we have aren’t real but we treat them as
if they’re real and that’s where the
problem is well there are so many
self-help books out there yeah just be
positive just think happy thoughts and
many people are doing that but it’s not
working
and I talked of that we shouldn’t be
afraid of our so-called negative
thoughts we should surrender to them
yeah what’s your take on that in terms
of people who just want to get rid of
negative thoughts does that create
resistance which makes them stronger oh
well I think we live in a society that’s
really well a world really that’s really
quick fix you know if you want to lose
weight we all really want to have that
magic pill that you take and you don’t
have to you know exercise or eat better
so we just wanted it really fast so I
think that a lot of people think that if
they read a book or they you know try
something for a while then their whole
life will change for instance and my
race class and gender class that I teach
I have them read men are from Mars and
women from Venus which is about gender
differences and we discuss and they’re
like do you think the people who read
this book will actually improve their
relationships and you know what I try to
say is it’s great it’s a starting point
you know it’s better than not reading it
but you know to have permanent change
takes daily sometimes every second every
minute effort and conscious choice and I
think that so many people live
unconsciously it kind of go through life
with blinders on and they don’t even
know it and so reading these books these
self-help books to say hey yeah just be
positive easier said than done because
you need to keep doing it because I’m
not a brain research or anything but I
do know enough to know that when you
keep thinking any thought positive or
negative it creates the neural pathways
and your brain it makes it stronger so
if you’ve been saying to yourself your
whole life I’m gonna air another remote
to anything I don’t know people like
that yeah and so anything that comes
their way they interpret it through this
lens of I’m a failure I’m a loser it’s
never going to work out but if they have
that thought their whole life that the
pathways and their brain are so strong
so it’s going to take even longer for
them to like it’s kinda like a muscle
you know like you have to live weight
lift weights to make your muscles bigger
pedal the same thing with your brain eat
it’s not going to happen overnight you
have to every day put conscious thought
and effort into it and it’s not as easy
for a lot of people that as it sounds
you know some people born into
optimistic happy families like myself
which I’m very happy about but I know so
many people who are born into
pessimistic families and that’s just
normal and natural for them and they
don’t even know who they are without
that negative thinking right right and
we see in today’s society a lot of us we
are
more stressed out than ever because
people are rushing all around the place
and many times I find that I find a lot
of balance going into nature how does
one stay balanced in this very
fast-paced world that’s a great question
actually one of the articles I wrote
another article for life hack I think
was about balancing and saying no which
ironically was not one of the ones that
was shared enough which I was really
fascinated about because I know so many
people who are so stressed out I don’t
know what it’s like in other countries
that I know at least here in the United
States or at least you know with a lot
of people I know if they have kids it’s
like if your kid is not a superstar
soccer player by the time they’re three
years old then you’re like this loser
parent and so you know I know parents
who have like four kids and they’re all
in these activities and so they run
around Dave and they I don’t want those
people I mean I I think it’s great to
have my kids I have two kids two boys
four eleven and thirteen and they’re in
activities but to a point like for
instance my youngest is very athletic
and he loves basketball and there was an
opportunity for him to try out for a
competitive basketball team that
traveled around within like one to two
hours from where we live and so that
would require pretty much like all
weekend trips for basketball games and
not only that but staying overnight and
spending money on hotel rooms and I
thought you know what I’m not going to
do that and a lot of people would say
that makes me a bad mother but I didn’t
say you couldn’t play basketball I said
he could you know change the entire
family’s life because of it because I
value family dinners
you know because research really shows
like when you meet as a family at dinner
the kids do a lot better in life because
they have the opportunity to talk to the
parents but when you’re running around
all the time you don’t have the
opportunity really to stop and talk to
your kids and you know that’s where all
these thoughts come from when were kids
we get these messages and it forms us
into who we are so you know I think it’s
as simple as saying no you know you say
no to your kids and I think a lot of
parents have a problem saying no not
only to their kids but to anything like
I had dinner with a friend last night
and she got asked to do I don’t know
share a committee or something and her
first instinct was to say yes because
she’s a nice person but then she stepped
back and said well let me think about it
and so she decided that she didn’t have
the energy or the time for it and that’s
okay but I think that our society just
um really programs into us that we’re
not successful or kids are not
successful unless we are crazy busy
stressed out all the time and said we
you know meditation being out in nature
having quiet alone time is so important
um you know I’m a single mom too and I
actually think I’m a better mom because
they go to their dad’s not quite happy
time but a lot of time and I get to
recharge and I don’t think that makes me
a bad person I think it’s actually I
think I’m a better mother because of
that because I get me time and so I
think people just really need to
prioritize themselves in the family and
family unit and realize that quiet time
and communication with each other is
really important for balance because I
think most people really don’t have
those how we creating our own reality
well I think it does start with our
belief system as we just talked about
with our thoughts and our values but the
law of attraction you know if anyone’s
read books like the secret or some other
Law of Attraction books that some
people’s understanding of the law of
attraction is just like oh well it’s
just positive thinking you know just
change your thoughts and good things
will happen you know you think about you
know having more money and it just comes
to you and you know there’s some truth
to that but anyone who knows a little
bit more about the science behind it
that the vibrations that we have with
our thoughts and our emotions actually
do affect our
world there’s actually a book called the
the science behind the secret it was
written by a quantum physicist I forgot
his name
but I read it and it really explained
why the law of attraction works because
again I know quantum physicists are
never like this much about it but you
know that the probabilities and the wave
particles like there’s something about a
quiff I didn’t know that is that it goes
out and it you know finally needs other
quests and that’s what manifests into
reality so you know if you’re putting
out all these negative thoughts all the
time the vibration you’re putting out
and the quips or whatever are going out
and creating for you so as you probably
know to the the range of emotions that
you know you have love and appreciation
on one end which is the highest
vibrating and the lowest at the other
end which is you know fear and hatred
and all those emotions each vibrate very
slowly so I actually to talk about the
law of attraction in my relationship
classes and I relate it to relationships
and I say you know whatever you’re first
in love you’re putting out all these
positive thoughts and emotions and they
you know scientists have measured this
and so of course when you’re putting out
positive emotions people feel it as do
you know like some people just a great
energy and some people have really bad
energy and there’s science behind it so
I think those thoughts and emotions
really do help create a reality you know
I wish I knew more about the science
behind it like quantum physics but I
don’t but so I think there’s that it all
starts with our thoughts and our
emotions but it also um is partially
dependent on our viewpoint in how we
view reality and how we view what
happens to us you know I’ve known people
who have horrific things happen to them
you know they’ve lost children they’ve
had horrible things they’ve had cancer
and a lot of them just use that horrible
experience for the betterment of
malagant cells but of the world so you
know a lot of people with a negative
mindset would let it ruin your lives but
other
positive mindsets take that and create
the reality they want it may not be the
exact reality than one right right oh
they make the best of it so so I think
that I would say those two things that
migration and the science probably do
literally create our world but it really
is up to us and we learn how to go hand
in hand your father so create and the
environment is also a big factor when we
told epigenetics how our environment
changes our DNA structure and that
affects our subconscious beliefs because
as much as we do create our own reality
it’s also what we’re taking in when we
can look at the role of the media
messages from our parents and our peers
our workplace it’s all connected right
it is and I think at least in my
experience with the students and
whenever I do speeches or seminars um
people are shocked that they have all
these thoughts in their head what I you
know once I point them out but like oh
wow I didn’t know and therein lies the
problem um that and that’s what I called
kind of sleepwalking through life going
through life with blinders on one of the
papers I have my students write in my
relationship classes is what kind of
messages they got is this child or what
kind of communication behavior is
modeled and it might sound like an easy
paper but they’re usually like oh my
gosh I never thought of this before I
have no idea but then when they stop to
reflect on it they figure it out and so
it’s everything starts with awareness
and you cannot change what you don’t
recognize so you know exploring these
negative thoughts that you have lurking
in your mind that you might not even
know that come from everywhere like you
said um first step is awareness and then
the next step is to figure out how to
change that right right yeah right now
what we’re seeing is that we’re living
in a whole new world we’re seeing the
technology is increasing but also we’re
getting a greater awareness of how
things aren’t always
oh and we were talking before this about
your upcoming projects please go into
that okay great um I actually one of the
things that I do is besides writing for
life hack I write for it’s a website in
a magazine called brain speak brains be
calm and then brain speak magazine which
is a digital magazine and like I said
earlier I’ve been always a searcher and
a seeker and a curious soul my whole
life and you know anything that’s weird
to the normal person is cool for me you
know like I I don’t know that I believe
it or don’t but I just want to explore
it you know I I went through a phase of
reading about alien abductions and the
phase of reading about quantum physics
and then they phase about you know all
of this quote-unquote weird stuff that
the average person just doesn’t think
about they do a lot of people find it
really interesting in fact you know I I
encounter a lot of people who you know
may really believe in past lies with
like oh no I don’t talk about that
because people think I’m weird right now
anyway um Bernie’s big magazine like
some of my work in the article so they
asked me to write a recurring column and
they’re called a walk on the roof side
and the wus side is really all things
that are weird to the normal person and
one of my passions have been throughout
my whole life is to make the weird stuff
not so weird or to make it okay for
people to go out and explore that stuff
without feeling like they are weird oh
so they want it so anyway I was writing
this article called a walk on the booze
side which is that’s what it’s about
like hey let’s take all this weird stuff
and make it demystify it you know make
it less strange so anyway so that woman
seemed liked it so much they asked me to
start up a podcast or radio show kind of
thing with it and under the same name a
walk on the roof slide and so that’s
probably going to start it
maybe next couple
weeks but what I’m going to do is have
you know people who write books you know
whether it’s experts or whether it’s
just normal people who have had weird
experiences like for instance I had a
student last year who lived with a ghost
in her house I mean she said it was as
bad not evil like possessing or anything
but you know it would move chairs around
and slam doors and she said it even like
pulled the covers off of her bed at
night and I mean she just talked about
as if it was someone who lived in the
house with her and she at first she was
weirded out by it but now she’s like
Nick it’s just the ghost we live with
I’m like okay and so just whether it’s
real experiences like that or an expert
who does research on it I’m gonna have
people on the show and talk about all
sorts of weird stuff and try it out this
is what we do in infinite waters we dive
deep and one of the biggest things I
found is that all of us we have
different thoughts which are beyond the
norm but it’s fear of being judged so
you talk of how to deal with judgmental
people people that call us crazy
we are strange how do we deal with this
well that’s a good question because as I
said my mom um originally got me into
this and she was a searcher and the
first seminar that she went to which was
a spiritual new-age kind of woooo sort
of seminar she thought she’s going to
have a whole bunch of weirdos there you
know like smoking dope or she’s a such
EP the only normal person there and this
is back like in the 80s or 70s and she
said everybody there is normal everybody
is like in a business suit and look
normal and so she’s like oh I guess I’m
not alone that you know other people
like me think about this stuff too so I
think that live in a culture where we
care too much about what other people
think um we are so soft conscious and so
we judge ourselves so hard and we think
other people are judging
that harshly and they’re probably not I
would say that everybody else is so busy
judging themselves but they’re probably
not judging you nearly as much as you
think they are oh so just say hey just
don’t care about what other people think
easier said than done for a lot of
people but like for me you know this is
talking about the whoo stuff and you’re
having a new podcast radio show about
weird stuff is not my day job you know
my day job it’s teaching communication
and writing motivational articles and
talking about your thoughts and being
happier but so I’m kind of stepping out
into your territory even what and expect
for me you know I go around talking
about all this stuff that I all these
books that I read all this stuff that I
think about and um you know for about a
half a second I thought no wonder how
people who know me as this person this
motivational person what they’re going
to think about me taking a walk on the
lose sided I just thought you know I
don’t care
because it’s part of me and if they
don’t want to listen to it I don’t have
to and if they think less of me because
of it that’s okay I can’t control what
other people think I can only follow my
own heart so I think we all need to
adopt that attitude that do what makes
you happy if people want to judge you
they’ll judge you let them judge you
feeling like that dudes judge yourself
really you can’t please her buddy yeah I
see that we’re living in a kind of
matrix and you are a professor of
communication and I feel words are so
powerful because once you stop going to
the website people might call you a
conspiracy theorist
they might you almost get put into a box
so it’s almost like it’s very clever how
the system is designed because um they
don’t really allow free thought without
labeling you they’ll say oh it’s that
stuff it’s that you see right so how do
how do words govern us and how can we
use words to empower us in helping us
become the greatest versions of
ourselves that’s a really interesting
question too
I’m gonna cite a research study that I
read about words you’ve probably heard
of the book this is not the sudden talk
about but messages and water have you
read the book or heard about it how does
it okay well basically it’s like your
thoughts have your vibrations in it the
positive thoughts change the molecular
structure and water positively and the
negative ones change in molecular
structure negatively and so of course
what are those words any box are words
we think in words and so what are those
thoughts doing to our body so if those
negative thoughts are changing I get to
believe it I mean we’re like 80% water
anyway so it’s changing our body so the
words we have in our thoughts or inner
you know actual speaking are affecting
our body and this is the study was going
to talk about there’s some study where
they had two groups of people and they
had a bunch of different words written I
don’t know the term like in an envelope
I think in one group had a bunch of
positive words like joy happiness and
all good words and the other one had bad
words like negative hatred and fear and
the people didn’t even know what words
they were carrying around but they carry
it around for maybe a month or so and
they didn’t even tell them to do
anything else just carry this then blow
up around with you all the time it
sounds weird but then they came back
after like um I don’t know a month or so
and like so how’s your life you know he
changed it for the same and the people
who carried her on the positive words no
good things are happen in my life and
happy and feel great and the other group
said I don’t know being everything kept
going wrong and now I’m glad so negative
I mean it just felt worse and so yeah
that’s fascinating because people even
know words they were carrying around and
they weren’t spoken and they weren’t
even thought of in your head but they
still affected them on some subconscious
level so words are everything you know
there we have the sticks and stones will
break my bones but words hurt me
I think words hurt more than an actual
you know punch in the face or because at
least those
char’s he’ll if you don’t know what
words you are using or other people are
using to hurt you not only your mind and
your spirit but your body I don’t even
read the book I think it’s crew slipped
and you wrote it the biology of beliefs
oh yes yes yeah great book yeah and um
and he talks about literally our
thoughts do you change our DNA like you
said earlier can turn on positive genes
or off positive genes and um yeah I
heard some other study I don’t know if
it’s in this book or not but they
separated people’s DNA from themselves
and they put it in a different room and
then they put it like on the other side
the country and then they put it like in
China and they had them think different
thoughts and they looked at what the DNA
did and even in it it’s like I’m here in
Dayton Ohio and my DNA was saying if I
had a thought like a positive thought or
negative thought my DNA responded almost
well know simultaneously as if it was
already still in my body you know so you
cannot say that is not powerful and in
very whew write it right right hey-ohh
respond mothers in China right right
well I feel that’s it’s all coming out
right now and this stuff will be in the
normal conversation in a couple of years
because I just feel people are ready for
it and I just want to thank you so much
for diving deep with us and the next
time you’re on I would love to talk
about relationships and self-love
because yeah I know you are an expert on
that but please let us know off whatever
whatever else you’ve got going on and
just how we can contact you course let
me tell you no or yes okay um what else
I have going on you means right right
okay well that’s like the biggest thing
coming up so if anyone was to tune in it
will actually you can find me on
Facebook I have a fan page dr. Carol
Morgan but we also have a fan page
called a walk on the roof
and it’s wo oh that’s house well the
walk on the loose side we just started
it so you know if you want I’ve been
posting some stuff but we don’t have a
lot of people liking it yet but you can
also find me again on my website which
is dr. Carol Morgan calm its Dr Carol
Morgan mom and my relationship book that
I wrote is kind of an integration of
relationships and the whoo stuff as well
as right right well give us give us a
snippet too because one thing I found in
relationships is that the greatest
relationship lies within ourselves and
when we talk of love I feel many of us
we feel we possess each other in
relationships and this creates a lot of
problems how do we go about creating
more harmonious relationships well it
all starts with you it really does um
you know I know people who have been in
a lot of what we normal people would
call whoo tennis situations like they
were swingers or they were into S&M or
they were um my battery’s running low
hold on okay I need to just plug in it
um but so you know most people believe
in monogamy and want to possess that
person but I’m a believer I don’t saying
monogamy is that great but you know for
some people maybe they need to try
something different
um if you think about monogamy is I know
a lot of people are going to disagree
with me but kind of based in fear
because you know you’re mine and you’re
only mine and nobody else can help you
and I’m not suggesting that we just all
go out and you know our data million
people at once
but yeah that possession and jealousy
that we feel in relationships really is
fear-based it’s a fear-based emotion and
you know a lot of people think that’s
love they think oh well he or she’s
jealous of me or possessive of me
instead of us love me
well I think real love freeze and it
doesn’t page you
I’ve been in relationships before where
I felt trapped because of one thing or
another and so you know there’s that
saying if you love someone set them free
to come back or yours if they get in
there never were then even a
relationship you can still like leave
the door to that peach open and if they
want to leave you give them the freedom
to leave without any fear I think a lot
of people have a problem with that but
in my relationship book is called
radical relationship resource and I
wrote it with dick-suck Finn who is you
know ironically the the person I read
all the past life regression books about
earlier on when I was like in college
and and that was the whole point of that
book is to really blend normal
relationship stuff with the woo
spiritual wacky out there kind of things
is the book isn’t all like that you know
how many 75 percent of is pretty normal
but we do put in these radical ideas
that a lot of people go what’s that and
I don’t have to read that part I don’t
want to but but if it really is a
resource book every page is like a
different idea to to try out in your
relationship and then you have the ROO
wacky stuff in there – right well thank
you so much once again ww2 Carol Morgan
calm I am so grateful to have you one
because oh reading your articles you’ve
inspired me and I know you’re gonna
inspire the infinite waters family there
is so much potential we all have in
becoming the greatest versions of
ourselves and it all starts in tapping
into the power of yourself we are here
infinite waters diving deep once again stay well stay healthy peace
again we have a very special episode how
to remove negative subconscious beliefs
we want to welcome Carol Morgan Carol
Morgan has a PhD in communication and is
a professor at Wright State University
she is also a motivational expert on the
TV show living day tone the co-host of a
popular radio show video expert for a
house calm frequent keynote speaker and
a member of inspire ease comms expert
network you can subscribe to her blog
take her a courses and check out her
books at WWDC arrow morgan calm well
thank you so much dr. carol for taking
time out of your busy schedule thank you
for having me I’m so happy to be here
well we’re gonna dive deep yes I love
your articles on life hacker phenomenal
thank you I love writing for it and you
know that’s one of the things that I
love doing is getting my knowledge
outside of the traditional classroom and
so I love writing those articles and
doing all sorts stuff like this where
did this journey first begin for you
well probably when I was a teenager my
mom was a nun a Catholic nun before she
met my dad and had us three children and
so now she when she’s obviously not in
it anymore and she’s got on the
spiritual journey since then and she
started exploring all kinds of different
spirituality and it kind of led her to a
lot of Eastern beliefs like
reincarnation all these books and so by
time I was a teenager and into college
she kept passing on books to me and
she’s such a seeker and they’re curious
soul and so mine so I started reading
all of these books about spirituality
and one group of books in particular was
about past life regression and is
written
and man named dick Sutphin who
ironically has become a good friend of
mine and is a co-writer on my book but
anyway in his books a lot of them he
talks about how passed like aggression
and if people don’t know what that is is
basically using hypnosis to uncover you
know I know not everybody can pass laws
but you know let’s say somebody’s really
overweight in this life and maybe they
discovered in a past life that they
starved to death and so your
subconscious mind is over
overcompensating for that by keeping
weight on you because you don’t want to
starve to death
so it was real case studies like that
that I read in a lot of these books I
was reading that started to fascinate me
and not even just rooted in past lives
because not everybody at everybody
believes in past lives but you know I’m
a communication professor – and so I’ve
discovered that really my interests and
all of that spiritual stuff and the
stuff that I teach now is really
interconnected because you know when I
teach about family communication and
talk about all the messages that we get
not only from our family but from our
siblings from our peers from the media
the world so you know parents mean well
but even if it’s just like you know
money doesn’t grow on trees what do you
think I may have money if you hear these
messages too many times as a kid it’s
going to really block you and you don’t
even know it and that’s one of the
things I do when I do like workshops and
seminars or speaking events especially
around money people have a lot of flocks
because they did hear these negative
messages growing up like you know no we
can’t afford that or you know I’m not
made of money or no no no no no when it
comes to money so a lot of us have these
subconscious blogs like oh okay there’s
not enough money or I I’m going to have
enough money one of the things I have to
do with people at a group too is do
aside kind of this sum it’s a process I
call and I read out about ten different
statements that I had them fill in the
first thought that comes to mind and one
of them is money is and then they just
have to like don’t even think about it
and a lot of people say some negative
things like
it’s some root of all evil or if I say
rich people are they go greedy or things
like that and so and they’re like oh I
didn’t even know I didn’t know I believe
that and so that’s really what I like to
get to it’s that split-second before you
can even process it
those are your subconscious the lace
that are lurking around and you don’t
even know right what I love about your
articles is that people can relate to
them because you talk about real issues
and that’s what I love about them and
what are some of the common negative
subconscious beliefs we have I know one
I am not good enough oh you know I am
watched one of your other podcasts and
not the whole thing but you’re talking
about how most people just don’t love
themselves and we really get so many
negative messages I mean even if you
have parents who are positive and give
you a lot of messages there’s always
some sort of negative processing that
goes on in our world because we just
live in a world of negativity
unfortunately like for instance I mean
my parents were pretty positive and they
gave me a lot of positive messages and
in general I have pretty good
self-esteem and I don’t atribute that to
me I tribute it to them because they
gave me positive messages however I’m
the youngest of three girls and my
oldest sister while both of them
actually got in particular my oldest
sister who’s six years older than me has
always been like model skinny like super
small and skinny and my middle sister
was not quite as skinny but pretty close
and I’ve never been overweight I’ve been
just comparing myself to my sisters
unfortunately gave me a worse body image
then I would prefer and so I’ve been
fighting that thinking you know I look
fine I’m trying to reprogram myself with
that so you know it’s not even so much
that my parents ever said anything
negative about my body or my weight but
just me comparing to my sisters or you
know we see all these movie stars out
there who are gorgeous and you know if
there’s a tabloid magazine and they
gained two pounds or they go my gosh
they’re fat and it’s just it’s really
bad on all of our self-esteem so I think
that yeah I think people really need to
learn to love themselves and accept
themselves and that’s why I do like
writing those articles because and what
I teach not only just in the college
classrooms but all of this kind of stuff
is really real-world applicable and hype
and a searcher and focus on
self-improvement my whole life and
that’s what I need to tell my students
it’s like you know I don’t want you to
just like get an A and leave I want you
to use this stuff I want you to do self
reflection and you know change your life
for the better but it really starts with
you and that’s what my motto is like
success from the inside out you know you
can’t be successful like for me success
is happiness but you have to start here
you know you need to change your thought
processes but if these subconscious
thought processes are blocking us and we
don’t even know it then we have a
problem
I say that the body is a subconscious
mind and a big problem is we think our
thoughts are real right and we have this
attachment to our thoughts what I love
about one of your articles you said 12
toxic thoughts you need to drop for a
better life please go into that it’s not
so important right now
yeah I don’t have it in front of me and
I didn’t memorize all of them but that
was my most popular article on life hack
it was shared over like eighty six
thousand times on social media which for
me is so humbling I’m like not only did
eighty six thousand people like it
enough to share it we not from an ego
perspective but just like wow I’m so
happy that I could help them at least
and um that’s really interesting to me
that that particular article was the
most popular I had a couple articles
that were pretty popular too one was
about getting through a rough times in
your life and that was shared like
sixty-three thousand times or something
but I think that people I think that
maybe article is a wake-up call for
people like I’m not so sure they knew
that they had those
thoughts running through their head um
I’ve had people actually say that oh ma
thank you or oh no I saw myself in ten
of those twelve things thanks for
pointing it up to me
so um yeah I don’t have all of them from
me but it’s you know a lot of them are
things like you’re not a victim a lot of
people think that we are victim of what
happens to us and yes we can’t control
everything that happens to us but what
we can control is how we think about
what happens to us so one of my motto is
when my many models is it’s not a
problem unless you think it’s a problem
and if it’s not a problem then it’s a
learning opportunity and so I figure
that everything in life has the
potential to be a learning opportunity
if we choose to make it that way but so
many people just dwell on the negatives
and therefore they have all these toxic
thoughts that go through the mind and
just send them and to really kind of a
downward negative spiral so yeah that
article in particular I it really opened
my eyes a lot to what people need in
life and it was drugs in with I mean
really their own worst enemies
themselves right you know you said that
we have aren’t real but we treat them as
if they’re real and that’s where the
problem is well there are so many
self-help books out there yeah just be
positive just think happy thoughts and
many people are doing that but it’s not
working
and I talked of that we shouldn’t be
afraid of our so-called negative
thoughts we should surrender to them
yeah what’s your take on that in terms
of people who just want to get rid of
negative thoughts does that create
resistance which makes them stronger oh
well I think we live in a society that’s
really well a world really that’s really
quick fix you know if you want to lose
weight we all really want to have that
magic pill that you take and you don’t
have to you know exercise or eat better
so we just wanted it really fast so I
think that a lot of people think that if
they read a book or they you know try
something for a while then their whole
life will change for instance and my
race class and gender class that I teach
I have them read men are from Mars and
women from Venus which is about gender
differences and we discuss and they’re
like do you think the people who read
this book will actually improve their
relationships and you know what I try to
say is it’s great it’s a starting point
you know it’s better than not reading it
but you know to have permanent change
takes daily sometimes every second every
minute effort and conscious choice and I
think that so many people live
unconsciously it kind of go through life
with blinders on and they don’t even
know it and so reading these books these
self-help books to say hey yeah just be
positive easier said than done because
you need to keep doing it because I’m
not a brain research or anything but I
do know enough to know that when you
keep thinking any thought positive or
negative it creates the neural pathways
and your brain it makes it stronger so
if you’ve been saying to yourself your
whole life I’m gonna air another remote
to anything I don’t know people like
that yeah and so anything that comes
their way they interpret it through this
lens of I’m a failure I’m a loser it’s
never going to work out but if they have
that thought their whole life that the
pathways and their brain are so strong
so it’s going to take even longer for
them to like it’s kinda like a muscle
you know like you have to live weight
lift weights to make your muscles bigger
pedal the same thing with your brain eat
it’s not going to happen overnight you
have to every day put conscious thought
and effort into it and it’s not as easy
for a lot of people that as it sounds
you know some people born into
optimistic happy families like myself
which I’m very happy about but I know so
many people who are born into
pessimistic families and that’s just
normal and natural for them and they
don’t even know who they are without
that negative thinking right right and
we see in today’s society a lot of us we
are
more stressed out than ever because
people are rushing all around the place
and many times I find that I find a lot
of balance going into nature how does
one stay balanced in this very
fast-paced world that’s a great question
actually one of the articles I wrote
another article for life hack I think
was about balancing and saying no which
ironically was not one of the ones that
was shared enough which I was really
fascinated about because I know so many
people who are so stressed out I don’t
know what it’s like in other countries
that I know at least here in the United
States or at least you know with a lot
of people I know if they have kids it’s
like if your kid is not a superstar
soccer player by the time they’re three
years old then you’re like this loser
parent and so you know I know parents
who have like four kids and they’re all
in these activities and so they run
around Dave and they I don’t want those
people I mean I I think it’s great to
have my kids I have two kids two boys
four eleven and thirteen and they’re in
activities but to a point like for
instance my youngest is very athletic
and he loves basketball and there was an
opportunity for him to try out for a
competitive basketball team that
traveled around within like one to two
hours from where we live and so that
would require pretty much like all
weekend trips for basketball games and
not only that but staying overnight and
spending money on hotel rooms and I
thought you know what I’m not going to
do that and a lot of people would say
that makes me a bad mother but I didn’t
say you couldn’t play basketball I said
he could you know change the entire
family’s life because of it because I
value family dinners
you know because research really shows
like when you meet as a family at dinner
the kids do a lot better in life because
they have the opportunity to talk to the
parents but when you’re running around
all the time you don’t have the
opportunity really to stop and talk to
your kids and you know that’s where all
these thoughts come from when were kids
we get these messages and it forms us
into who we are so you know I think it’s
as simple as saying no you know you say
no to your kids and I think a lot of
parents have a problem saying no not
only to their kids but to anything like
I had dinner with a friend last night
and she got asked to do I don’t know
share a committee or something and her
first instinct was to say yes because
she’s a nice person but then she stepped
back and said well let me think about it
and so she decided that she didn’t have
the energy or the time for it and that’s
okay but I think that our society just
um really programs into us that we’re
not successful or kids are not
successful unless we are crazy busy
stressed out all the time and said we
you know meditation being out in nature
having quiet alone time is so important
um you know I’m a single mom too and I
actually think I’m a better mom because
they go to their dad’s not quite happy
time but a lot of time and I get to
recharge and I don’t think that makes me
a bad person I think it’s actually I
think I’m a better mother because of
that because I get me time and so I
think people just really need to
prioritize themselves in the family and
family unit and realize that quiet time
and communication with each other is
really important for balance because I
think most people really don’t have
those how we creating our own reality
well I think it does start with our
belief system as we just talked about
with our thoughts and our values but the
law of attraction you know if anyone’s
read books like the secret or some other
Law of Attraction books that some
people’s understanding of the law of
attraction is just like oh well it’s
just positive thinking you know just
change your thoughts and good things
will happen you know you think about you
know having more money and it just comes
to you and you know there’s some truth
to that but anyone who knows a little
bit more about the science behind it
that the vibrations that we have with
our thoughts and our emotions actually
do affect our
world there’s actually a book called the
the science behind the secret it was
written by a quantum physicist I forgot
his name
but I read it and it really explained
why the law of attraction works because
again I know quantum physicists are
never like this much about it but you
know that the probabilities and the wave
particles like there’s something about a
quiff I didn’t know that is that it goes
out and it you know finally needs other
quests and that’s what manifests into
reality so you know if you’re putting
out all these negative thoughts all the
time the vibration you’re putting out
and the quips or whatever are going out
and creating for you so as you probably
know to the the range of emotions that
you know you have love and appreciation
on one end which is the highest
vibrating and the lowest at the other
end which is you know fear and hatred
and all those emotions each vibrate very
slowly so I actually to talk about the
law of attraction in my relationship
classes and I relate it to relationships
and I say you know whatever you’re first
in love you’re putting out all these
positive thoughts and emotions and they
you know scientists have measured this
and so of course when you’re putting out
positive emotions people feel it as do
you know like some people just a great
energy and some people have really bad
energy and there’s science behind it so
I think those thoughts and emotions
really do help create a reality you know
I wish I knew more about the science
behind it like quantum physics but I
don’t but so I think there’s that it all
starts with our thoughts and our
emotions but it also um is partially
dependent on our viewpoint in how we
view reality and how we view what
happens to us you know I’ve known people
who have horrific things happen to them
you know they’ve lost children they’ve
had horrible things they’ve had cancer
and a lot of them just use that horrible
experience for the betterment of
malagant cells but of the world so you
know a lot of people with a negative
mindset would let it ruin your lives but
other
positive mindsets take that and create
the reality they want it may not be the
exact reality than one right right oh
they make the best of it so so I think
that I would say those two things that
migration and the science probably do
literally create our world but it really
is up to us and we learn how to go hand
in hand your father so create and the
environment is also a big factor when we
told epigenetics how our environment
changes our DNA structure and that
affects our subconscious beliefs because
as much as we do create our own reality
it’s also what we’re taking in when we
can look at the role of the media
messages from our parents and our peers
our workplace it’s all connected right
it is and I think at least in my
experience with the students and
whenever I do speeches or seminars um
people are shocked that they have all
these thoughts in their head what I you
know once I point them out but like oh
wow I didn’t know and therein lies the
problem um that and that’s what I called
kind of sleepwalking through life going
through life with blinders on one of the
papers I have my students write in my
relationship classes is what kind of
messages they got is this child or what
kind of communication behavior is
modeled and it might sound like an easy
paper but they’re usually like oh my
gosh I never thought of this before I
have no idea but then when they stop to
reflect on it they figure it out and so
it’s everything starts with awareness
and you cannot change what you don’t
recognize so you know exploring these
negative thoughts that you have lurking
in your mind that you might not even
know that come from everywhere like you
said um first step is awareness and then
the next step is to figure out how to
change that right right yeah right now
what we’re seeing is that we’re living
in a whole new world we’re seeing the
technology is increasing but also we’re
getting a greater awareness of how
things aren’t always
oh and we were talking before this about
your upcoming projects please go into
that okay great um I actually one of the
things that I do is besides writing for
life hack I write for it’s a website in
a magazine called brain speak brains be
calm and then brain speak magazine which
is a digital magazine and like I said
earlier I’ve been always a searcher and
a seeker and a curious soul my whole
life and you know anything that’s weird
to the normal person is cool for me you
know like I I don’t know that I believe
it or don’t but I just want to explore
it you know I I went through a phase of
reading about alien abductions and the
phase of reading about quantum physics
and then they phase about you know all
of this quote-unquote weird stuff that
the average person just doesn’t think
about they do a lot of people find it
really interesting in fact you know I I
encounter a lot of people who you know
may really believe in past lies with
like oh no I don’t talk about that
because people think I’m weird right now
anyway um Bernie’s big magazine like
some of my work in the article so they
asked me to write a recurring column and
they’re called a walk on the roof side
and the wus side is really all things
that are weird to the normal person and
one of my passions have been throughout
my whole life is to make the weird stuff
not so weird or to make it okay for
people to go out and explore that stuff
without feeling like they are weird oh
so they want it so anyway I was writing
this article called a walk on the booze
side which is that’s what it’s about
like hey let’s take all this weird stuff
and make it demystify it you know make
it less strange so anyway so that woman
seemed liked it so much they asked me to
start up a podcast or radio show kind of
thing with it and under the same name a
walk on the roof slide and so that’s
probably going to start it
maybe next couple
weeks but what I’m going to do is have
you know people who write books you know
whether it’s experts or whether it’s
just normal people who have had weird
experiences like for instance I had a
student last year who lived with a ghost
in her house I mean she said it was as
bad not evil like possessing or anything
but you know it would move chairs around
and slam doors and she said it even like
pulled the covers off of her bed at
night and I mean she just talked about
as if it was someone who lived in the
house with her and she at first she was
weirded out by it but now she’s like
Nick it’s just the ghost we live with
I’m like okay and so just whether it’s
real experiences like that or an expert
who does research on it I’m gonna have
people on the show and talk about all
sorts of weird stuff and try it out this
is what we do in infinite waters we dive
deep and one of the biggest things I
found is that all of us we have
different thoughts which are beyond the
norm but it’s fear of being judged so
you talk of how to deal with judgmental
people people that call us crazy
we are strange how do we deal with this
well that’s a good question because as I
said my mom um originally got me into
this and she was a searcher and the
first seminar that she went to which was
a spiritual new-age kind of woooo sort
of seminar she thought she’s going to
have a whole bunch of weirdos there you
know like smoking dope or she’s a such
EP the only normal person there and this
is back like in the 80s or 70s and she
said everybody there is normal everybody
is like in a business suit and look
normal and so she’s like oh I guess I’m
not alone that you know other people
like me think about this stuff too so I
think that live in a culture where we
care too much about what other people
think um we are so soft conscious and so
we judge ourselves so hard and we think
other people are judging
that harshly and they’re probably not I
would say that everybody else is so busy
judging themselves but they’re probably
not judging you nearly as much as you
think they are oh so just say hey just
don’t care about what other people think
easier said than done for a lot of
people but like for me you know this is
talking about the whoo stuff and you’re
having a new podcast radio show about
weird stuff is not my day job you know
my day job it’s teaching communication
and writing motivational articles and
talking about your thoughts and being
happier but so I’m kind of stepping out
into your territory even what and expect
for me you know I go around talking
about all this stuff that I all these
books that I read all this stuff that I
think about and um you know for about a
half a second I thought no wonder how
people who know me as this person this
motivational person what they’re going
to think about me taking a walk on the
lose sided I just thought you know I
don’t care
because it’s part of me and if they
don’t want to listen to it I don’t have
to and if they think less of me because
of it that’s okay I can’t control what
other people think I can only follow my
own heart so I think we all need to
adopt that attitude that do what makes
you happy if people want to judge you
they’ll judge you let them judge you
feeling like that dudes judge yourself
really you can’t please her buddy yeah I
see that we’re living in a kind of
matrix and you are a professor of
communication and I feel words are so
powerful because once you stop going to
the website people might call you a
conspiracy theorist
they might you almost get put into a box
so it’s almost like it’s very clever how
the system is designed because um they
don’t really allow free thought without
labeling you they’ll say oh it’s that
stuff it’s that you see right so how do
how do words govern us and how can we
use words to empower us in helping us
become the greatest versions of
ourselves that’s a really interesting
question too
I’m gonna cite a research study that I
read about words you’ve probably heard
of the book this is not the sudden talk
about but messages and water have you
read the book or heard about it how does
it okay well basically it’s like your
thoughts have your vibrations in it the
positive thoughts change the molecular
structure and water positively and the
negative ones change in molecular
structure negatively and so of course
what are those words any box are words
we think in words and so what are those
thoughts doing to our body so if those
negative thoughts are changing I get to
believe it I mean we’re like 80% water
anyway so it’s changing our body so the
words we have in our thoughts or inner
you know actual speaking are affecting
our body and this is the study was going
to talk about there’s some study where
they had two groups of people and they
had a bunch of different words written I
don’t know the term like in an envelope
I think in one group had a bunch of
positive words like joy happiness and
all good words and the other one had bad
words like negative hatred and fear and
the people didn’t even know what words
they were carrying around but they carry
it around for maybe a month or so and
they didn’t even tell them to do
anything else just carry this then blow
up around with you all the time it
sounds weird but then they came back
after like um I don’t know a month or so
and like so how’s your life you know he
changed it for the same and the people
who carried her on the positive words no
good things are happen in my life and
happy and feel great and the other group
said I don’t know being everything kept
going wrong and now I’m glad so negative
I mean it just felt worse and so yeah
that’s fascinating because people even
know words they were carrying around and
they weren’t spoken and they weren’t
even thought of in your head but they
still affected them on some subconscious
level so words are everything you know
there we have the sticks and stones will
break my bones but words hurt me
I think words hurt more than an actual
you know punch in the face or because at
least those
char’s he’ll if you don’t know what
words you are using or other people are
using to hurt you not only your mind and
your spirit but your body I don’t even
read the book I think it’s crew slipped
and you wrote it the biology of beliefs
oh yes yes yeah great book yeah and um
and he talks about literally our
thoughts do you change our DNA like you
said earlier can turn on positive genes
or off positive genes and um yeah I
heard some other study I don’t know if
it’s in this book or not but they
separated people’s DNA from themselves
and they put it in a different room and
then they put it like on the other side
the country and then they put it like in
China and they had them think different
thoughts and they looked at what the DNA
did and even in it it’s like I’m here in
Dayton Ohio and my DNA was saying if I
had a thought like a positive thought or
negative thought my DNA responded almost
well know simultaneously as if it was
already still in my body you know so you
cannot say that is not powerful and in
very whew write it right right hey-ohh
respond mothers in China right right
well I feel that’s it’s all coming out
right now and this stuff will be in the
normal conversation in a couple of years
because I just feel people are ready for
it and I just want to thank you so much
for diving deep with us and the next
time you’re on I would love to talk
about relationships and self-love
because yeah I know you are an expert on
that but please let us know off whatever
whatever else you’ve got going on and
just how we can contact you course let
me tell you no or yes okay um what else
I have going on you means right right
okay well that’s like the biggest thing
coming up so if anyone was to tune in it
will actually you can find me on
Facebook I have a fan page dr. Carol
Morgan but we also have a fan page
called a walk on the roof
and it’s wo oh that’s house well the
walk on the loose side we just started
it so you know if you want I’ve been
posting some stuff but we don’t have a
lot of people liking it yet but you can
also find me again on my website which
is dr. Carol Morgan calm its Dr Carol
Morgan mom and my relationship book that
I wrote is kind of an integration of
relationships and the whoo stuff as well
as right right well give us give us a
snippet too because one thing I found in
relationships is that the greatest
relationship lies within ourselves and
when we talk of love I feel many of us
we feel we possess each other in
relationships and this creates a lot of
problems how do we go about creating
more harmonious relationships well it
all starts with you it really does um
you know I know people who have been in
a lot of what we normal people would
call whoo tennis situations like they
were swingers or they were into S&M or
they were um my battery’s running low
hold on okay I need to just plug in it
um but so you know most people believe
in monogamy and want to possess that
person but I’m a believer I don’t saying
monogamy is that great but you know for
some people maybe they need to try
something different
um if you think about monogamy is I know
a lot of people are going to disagree
with me but kind of based in fear
because you know you’re mine and you’re
only mine and nobody else can help you
and I’m not suggesting that we just all
go out and you know our data million
people at once
but yeah that possession and jealousy
that we feel in relationships really is
fear-based it’s a fear-based emotion and
you know a lot of people think that’s
love they think oh well he or she’s
jealous of me or possessive of me
instead of us love me
well I think real love freeze and it
doesn’t page you
I’ve been in relationships before where
I felt trapped because of one thing or
another and so you know there’s that
saying if you love someone set them free
to come back or yours if they get in
there never were then even a
relationship you can still like leave
the door to that peach open and if they
want to leave you give them the freedom
to leave without any fear I think a lot
of people have a problem with that but
in my relationship book is called
radical relationship resource and I
wrote it with dick-suck Finn who is you
know ironically the the person I read
all the past life regression books about
earlier on when I was like in college
and and that was the whole point of that
book is to really blend normal
relationship stuff with the woo
spiritual wacky out there kind of things
is the book isn’t all like that you know
how many 75 percent of is pretty normal
but we do put in these radical ideas
that a lot of people go what’s that and
I don’t have to read that part I don’t
want to but but if it really is a
resource book every page is like a
different idea to to try out in your
relationship and then you have the ROO
wacky stuff in there – right well thank
you so much once again ww2 Carol Morgan
calm I am so grateful to have you one
because oh reading your articles you’ve
inspired me and I know you’re gonna
inspire the infinite waters family there
is so much potential we all have in
becoming the greatest versions of
ourselves and it all starts in tapping
into the power of yourself we are here
infinite waters diving deep once again stay well stay healthy peace
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