you know I’ve heard a lot of experts say
that fear isn’t real that is such a
bunch of baloney fear is so real in fact
there are probably things that you’re
afraid of doing right now in your life
in your relationships at work and the
fact that you’re afraid that’s robbing
you of all of the experiences that you
want to have in your life I mean if
you’re afraid to fly that’s going to
limit your ability to travel and see the
world or go visit friends if you’re
afraid of public speaking that’s gonna
really limit your ability to express
yourself and share your ideas if you’re
afraid of talking to your boss or asking
for a raise that directly impacts how
much money you make or what if you are
dreaming of starting a business or
you’ve already started a new business
but you’re afraid to talk to people and
you’re afraid to share your business
with people I mean fear is something
that stops us all and that’s why I’m
here to talk to you because it doesn’t
have to fear is real but I am gonna
share a secret weapon that I have used
for years to beat every single fear that
used to stop me now first before we get
into the secret weapon I just want to
cover a few facts about fear what it is
what it isn’t and some things that you
may not know about fear so first thing
fear is a physical state in your body
that is exactly the same as excitement
let me say that again fear and
excitement are the exact same physical
state your heart races you might sweat a
little bit
you might feel tightening in your chest
you might feel a pit in your stomach you
have a surge of cortisol it’s basically
the way that your body goes into a hyper
aware state because it’s readying for
action now what’s the difference between
fear and excitement really simple the
only difference between fear and
excitement is what your brain is doing
as your body is all agitated if you’re
excited your
Green’s going oh wow this is going to be
so cool to ride this roller coaster if
you’re afraid your brains going Oh got
no way there’s no way I’m doing that
this is dangerous get out of there don’t
do that it’s saying something different
so what’s critical about understanding
this is that we’re gonna use the fact
that your mind is either working for you
for excitement or against you with fear
to your advantage and I’ll tell you
about it in just a minute how you’re
gonna do that second thing I want you to
understand is that you may have heard
the advice feel the fear and do it
anyway you may have heard the advice oh
just try to calm down think positive
thoughts it doesn’t work does it and
there’s a reason why it doesn’t work so
let’s go back to fact number one when
you’re afraid your body’s in a state of
arousal and agitation it your heart is
racing and you’re all like amped up and
you’re hyper aware of what’s going on
and you’re freaking out a little bit
what is it like when you’re calm ah it
just kind of chilled right you got like
this low arousal state very very
difficult to go from a state of
agitation of being all jacked up and
excited and weirded out uh to a kind of
state it doesn’t work it’s like trying
to stop a train by throwing a boulder on
the tracks it’s gonna make the train
jump off the tracks it’s gonna cause a
disaster in fact they’ve proven in
research that when you try to ignore
your fears it actually makes them worse
and they’ve also proven in research the
positive thinking alone also can make
your fears work worse so what do you do
what do you do when you’re about to go
talk to your boss and you feel afraid
what do you do when you have to get on a
plane and you’re actually terrified of
flying what do you do if you got to give
a presentation and you are afraid of
public speaking here’s what you’re gonna
do you’re going to use a strategy the
same one that I use that has helped me
beat every single fear and turn me into
somebody that is terrific when it comes
to a high-stress situation this is how
you do it you’re going to use my
five-second rule in
combination with what I call an anchor
thought and that is going to reframe
what your mind is doing so that your
mind goes from feeling agitation and
making you afraid to reframing it from
agitation to excitement it works like
magic now I have used this technique for
years
literally for years and one of the ways
that I want to introduce you to it is I
want to take you backstage I want to
take you backstage to a speech that I
delivered this year and what you’re
gonna see is you’re gonna see me behind
you know the major set I’m about to walk
out you can kind of hear the crowd
roaring my introductory video is playing
my body is in a state of arousal
I am literally my heart is racing my
arms are sweating like it’s like you’re
gonna see this I’m gonna tell you about
it and you’re gonna watch me use this
same technique I’m gonna teach you to
reframe my nerves into excitement check
this up all right I’m about to go
onstage they’re seven that was a Babel
out there and it’s so exciting because
of them what they don’t know is they’re
about to learn the five-second rule and
their lives will never be the same again
now I got to tell you my heart is racing
my armpits are sweating I have the exact
same physiological feeling as what I’m
afraid but I’m not afraid I’m excited
excitement and fear is the exact same
thing in your body it’s just what your
brain calls it here’s a trick that’s
proven by science that I use every time
I speak when I start to sweat when I
start to have butterflies when I start
to have my heart race
I say I’m excited I’m excited to get out
there I’m excited to talk to these
people I’m excited to share the
five-second rule and what that does is
it sends a message to my brain that
tells my brain why my body’s all
stated and excited and that way I don’t
feel afraid
remember excitement and fear exact same
thing in your body the only difference
is what your brain calls it ok now I
want to give you one more example just
to make sure that you really get how you
can use this so a lot of you have
written to me about your fear of flying
and I can really relate to that fear
because I used to have the exact same
fear but I used this same strategy to
conquer it here’s how you’re going to do
it so first things first if you’ve got
to do something that really makes you
nervous or that you’re afraid to do
before you’re about to do it come up
with an anchor thought what’s an anchor
thought well an anchor thought is
something that’s going to anchor you so
that you don’t escalate any situation
into a full-blown panic attack or into a
situation where you screw things up it’s
a way for you to anchor yourself so you
maintain control over what you’re
thinking and how you behave so here’s an
example with flying it’s important when
you’re creating an anchor thought to
pick something that is in the proper
context of what you’re afraid to do so
for flying pick an anchor thought that
has to do with the trip that you’re
taking so if I’m boarding a plane to fly
back home to Michigan an anchor thought
might be a picture in my mind of my mom
and I walking on the shores of Lake
Michigan where I grew up that’s a
thought that makes me happy it makes me
excited and it’s also related to the
trip that I’m taking if you have a
conversation that you need to have with
your boss pick an anchor thought about
how you feel after having that
conversation maybe it’s you picking up
the phone and calling somebody that you
you love and saying oh my gosh it went
so well or you know you walking out of
the meeting and feeling like yeah I
survived that conversation I feel pretty
good about myself so now that you have
your anchor thought you’re ready to beat
the fear how you’re going to do it is
this so let’s go back to the example of
the plane I’m on the plane and flying to
Michigan we hit turbulence my body’s
going to start getting agitated right
I’m starting to get nervous
my heart starts to race one of two
things can happen I can’t control how my
body might feel but I can always always
control what I’m thinking about and I
can always control how I act and so can
you so when I’m on a plane and the
turbulence hits 5 4 3 2 1 that’s step
one and it’s essential and the reason
why using the five-second rule 5 4 3 2 1
is essential is because that is how you
switch the gears in your mind you awaken
your prefrontal cortex and you trigger
your brain that you’re now in control of
your thoughts you’ve interrupted the
fear you’ve settled your thoughts and
now your brain is ready for that anchor
thought so then what I do after I go 5 4
3 2 1 is I insert the anchor thought
that I’ve already come up with before
the flight I start thinking about
walking on the beach and being with my
mom and my dad and I start telling
myself I’m so excited to walk on the
shores of Lake Michigan I’m so excited
to see my parents
now something remarkable is going to
happen in your brain because you’ve
interrupted the fear and because you’ve
used the five-second rule to assert
control and awaken your prefrontal
cortex and because you have an image
that can textually make sense to your
brain because you’re flying to Michigan
you know your brain does your brain goes
hah that was excited to go to Michigan
because my body is in a state remember
the first fact fear and excitement exact
same thing what’s the difference between
fear and excitement what your brain is
saying using the five-second rule and an
anchor thought you can actually switch
the gears in your mind and reframe the
thoughts of fear into thoughts of
excitement and because you have a vision
that makes sense based on what you’re
doing your brain buys it you just
tricked your brain now Dana used this
technique she says she’s never been so
calm when she’s been flying and Sarah
used it too now Sarah wrote as she was
petrified of flying but utilizing the
five-second rule in five four three two
one with an anchor thought check out
this photo of her on a helicopter tour
in Hawaii
not only was the tour amazing but here’s
what’s really amazing if fear stops you
this will change your life and for those
of you that are afraid of public
speaking check out this photo of Carol
she also had a fear of public speaking
and by using this technique that I’ve
just explained to you five-second rule
anchor thought reframe your thoughts
from fear to excitement something
incredible happened she was able to beat
her fear and give a speech to her
nursing colleagues and that was
something that was a life goal and also
something she checked off her bucket
list fear is real you can’t control the
feelings that are gonna rise up in your
body when you’re on a plane or when
you’re talking to your boss or when you
see somebody that’s attractive and you
you really want to go over and and talk
to that person but you can always
control what you think and you can
always make a decision about the actions
you’re gonna take so then next time you
feel afraid 5 4 3 2 1 go to that anchor
thought tell yourself you’re excited and
that my friend is the power of how you
beat fear in five seconds left and don’t
forget I’m here to help you however I
can make sure you celebrate your
successes on social media using the
hashtag five-second rule tag me and if
you ever have a question or you need
advice you can always reach us it hello at Mel Robbins calm
that fear isn’t real that is such a
bunch of baloney fear is so real in fact
there are probably things that you’re
afraid of doing right now in your life
in your relationships at work and the
fact that you’re afraid that’s robbing
you of all of the experiences that you
want to have in your life I mean if
you’re afraid to fly that’s going to
limit your ability to travel and see the
world or go visit friends if you’re
afraid of public speaking that’s gonna
really limit your ability to express
yourself and share your ideas if you’re
afraid of talking to your boss or asking
for a raise that directly impacts how
much money you make or what if you are
dreaming of starting a business or
you’ve already started a new business
but you’re afraid to talk to people and
you’re afraid to share your business
with people I mean fear is something
that stops us all and that’s why I’m
here to talk to you because it doesn’t
have to fear is real but I am gonna
share a secret weapon that I have used
for years to beat every single fear that
used to stop me now first before we get
into the secret weapon I just want to
cover a few facts about fear what it is
what it isn’t and some things that you
may not know about fear so first thing
fear is a physical state in your body
that is exactly the same as excitement
let me say that again fear and
excitement are the exact same physical
state your heart races you might sweat a
little bit
you might feel tightening in your chest
you might feel a pit in your stomach you
have a surge of cortisol it’s basically
the way that your body goes into a hyper
aware state because it’s readying for
action now what’s the difference between
fear and excitement really simple the
only difference between fear and
excitement is what your brain is doing
as your body is all agitated if you’re
excited your
Green’s going oh wow this is going to be
so cool to ride this roller coaster if
you’re afraid your brains going Oh got
no way there’s no way I’m doing that
this is dangerous get out of there don’t
do that it’s saying something different
so what’s critical about understanding
this is that we’re gonna use the fact
that your mind is either working for you
for excitement or against you with fear
to your advantage and I’ll tell you
about it in just a minute how you’re
gonna do that second thing I want you to
understand is that you may have heard
the advice feel the fear and do it
anyway you may have heard the advice oh
just try to calm down think positive
thoughts it doesn’t work does it and
there’s a reason why it doesn’t work so
let’s go back to fact number one when
you’re afraid your body’s in a state of
arousal and agitation it your heart is
racing and you’re all like amped up and
you’re hyper aware of what’s going on
and you’re freaking out a little bit
what is it like when you’re calm ah it
just kind of chilled right you got like
this low arousal state very very
difficult to go from a state of
agitation of being all jacked up and
excited and weirded out uh to a kind of
state it doesn’t work it’s like trying
to stop a train by throwing a boulder on
the tracks it’s gonna make the train
jump off the tracks it’s gonna cause a
disaster in fact they’ve proven in
research that when you try to ignore
your fears it actually makes them worse
and they’ve also proven in research the
positive thinking alone also can make
your fears work worse so what do you do
what do you do when you’re about to go
talk to your boss and you feel afraid
what do you do when you have to get on a
plane and you’re actually terrified of
flying what do you do if you got to give
a presentation and you are afraid of
public speaking here’s what you’re gonna
do you’re going to use a strategy the
same one that I use that has helped me
beat every single fear and turn me into
somebody that is terrific when it comes
to a high-stress situation this is how
you do it you’re going to use my
five-second rule in
combination with what I call an anchor
thought and that is going to reframe
what your mind is doing so that your
mind goes from feeling agitation and
making you afraid to reframing it from
agitation to excitement it works like
magic now I have used this technique for
years
literally for years and one of the ways
that I want to introduce you to it is I
want to take you backstage I want to
take you backstage to a speech that I
delivered this year and what you’re
gonna see is you’re gonna see me behind
you know the major set I’m about to walk
out you can kind of hear the crowd
roaring my introductory video is playing
my body is in a state of arousal
I am literally my heart is racing my
arms are sweating like it’s like you’re
gonna see this I’m gonna tell you about
it and you’re gonna watch me use this
same technique I’m gonna teach you to
reframe my nerves into excitement check
this up all right I’m about to go
onstage they’re seven that was a Babel
out there and it’s so exciting because
of them what they don’t know is they’re
about to learn the five-second rule and
their lives will never be the same again
now I got to tell you my heart is racing
my armpits are sweating I have the exact
same physiological feeling as what I’m
afraid but I’m not afraid I’m excited
excitement and fear is the exact same
thing in your body it’s just what your
brain calls it here’s a trick that’s
proven by science that I use every time
I speak when I start to sweat when I
start to have butterflies when I start
to have my heart race
I say I’m excited I’m excited to get out
there I’m excited to talk to these
people I’m excited to share the
five-second rule and what that does is
it sends a message to my brain that
tells my brain why my body’s all
stated and excited and that way I don’t
feel afraid
remember excitement and fear exact same
thing in your body the only difference
is what your brain calls it ok now I
want to give you one more example just
to make sure that you really get how you
can use this so a lot of you have
written to me about your fear of flying
and I can really relate to that fear
because I used to have the exact same
fear but I used this same strategy to
conquer it here’s how you’re going to do
it so first things first if you’ve got
to do something that really makes you
nervous or that you’re afraid to do
before you’re about to do it come up
with an anchor thought what’s an anchor
thought well an anchor thought is
something that’s going to anchor you so
that you don’t escalate any situation
into a full-blown panic attack or into a
situation where you screw things up it’s
a way for you to anchor yourself so you
maintain control over what you’re
thinking and how you behave so here’s an
example with flying it’s important when
you’re creating an anchor thought to
pick something that is in the proper
context of what you’re afraid to do so
for flying pick an anchor thought that
has to do with the trip that you’re
taking so if I’m boarding a plane to fly
back home to Michigan an anchor thought
might be a picture in my mind of my mom
and I walking on the shores of Lake
Michigan where I grew up that’s a
thought that makes me happy it makes me
excited and it’s also related to the
trip that I’m taking if you have a
conversation that you need to have with
your boss pick an anchor thought about
how you feel after having that
conversation maybe it’s you picking up
the phone and calling somebody that you
you love and saying oh my gosh it went
so well or you know you walking out of
the meeting and feeling like yeah I
survived that conversation I feel pretty
good about myself so now that you have
your anchor thought you’re ready to beat
the fear how you’re going to do it is
this so let’s go back to the example of
the plane I’m on the plane and flying to
Michigan we hit turbulence my body’s
going to start getting agitated right
I’m starting to get nervous
my heart starts to race one of two
things can happen I can’t control how my
body might feel but I can always always
control what I’m thinking about and I
can always control how I act and so can
you so when I’m on a plane and the
turbulence hits 5 4 3 2 1 that’s step
one and it’s essential and the reason
why using the five-second rule 5 4 3 2 1
is essential is because that is how you
switch the gears in your mind you awaken
your prefrontal cortex and you trigger
your brain that you’re now in control of
your thoughts you’ve interrupted the
fear you’ve settled your thoughts and
now your brain is ready for that anchor
thought so then what I do after I go 5 4
3 2 1 is I insert the anchor thought
that I’ve already come up with before
the flight I start thinking about
walking on the beach and being with my
mom and my dad and I start telling
myself I’m so excited to walk on the
shores of Lake Michigan I’m so excited
to see my parents
now something remarkable is going to
happen in your brain because you’ve
interrupted the fear and because you’ve
used the five-second rule to assert
control and awaken your prefrontal
cortex and because you have an image
that can textually make sense to your
brain because you’re flying to Michigan
you know your brain does your brain goes
hah that was excited to go to Michigan
because my body is in a state remember
the first fact fear and excitement exact
same thing what’s the difference between
fear and excitement what your brain is
saying using the five-second rule and an
anchor thought you can actually switch
the gears in your mind and reframe the
thoughts of fear into thoughts of
excitement and because you have a vision
that makes sense based on what you’re
doing your brain buys it you just
tricked your brain now Dana used this
technique she says she’s never been so
calm when she’s been flying and Sarah
used it too now Sarah wrote as she was
petrified of flying but utilizing the
five-second rule in five four three two
one with an anchor thought check out
this photo of her on a helicopter tour
in Hawaii
not only was the tour amazing but here’s
what’s really amazing if fear stops you
this will change your life and for those
of you that are afraid of public
speaking check out this photo of Carol
she also had a fear of public speaking
and by using this technique that I’ve
just explained to you five-second rule
anchor thought reframe your thoughts
from fear to excitement something
incredible happened she was able to beat
her fear and give a speech to her
nursing colleagues and that was
something that was a life goal and also
something she checked off her bucket
list fear is real you can’t control the
feelings that are gonna rise up in your
body when you’re on a plane or when
you’re talking to your boss or when you
see somebody that’s attractive and you
you really want to go over and and talk
to that person but you can always
control what you think and you can
always make a decision about the actions
you’re gonna take so then next time you
feel afraid 5 4 3 2 1 go to that anchor
thought tell yourself you’re excited and
that my friend is the power of how you
beat fear in five seconds left and don’t
forget I’m here to help you however I
can make sure you celebrate your
successes on social media using the
hashtag five-second rule tag me and if
you ever have a question or you need
advice you can always reach us it hello at Mel Robbins calm
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