Simon Sinek: HOW TO LIVE A SUCCESSFUL LIFE AND CONTROL YOUR FUTURE | Simon Sinek Motivation

so I consider myself an artist and my
process for everything that I do is more
of an artistic process than an academic
or commercial process it’s usually
involves a lot of chaos it usually
involves a lot of angst and somehow
someway something beautiful comes out at
the end of it and so I actually relate
quite well to two artists and performers
and I sort of feel a kindred spirit when
Jen and I go out for dinner we talk
about all kinds of things and very often
we talk about creativity what makes us
creative and the conversations that we
end up having are insightful for both of
us and the last time we went up for
dinner we said well this is unfair we
should really let others in on this and
so it’s actually very exciting for me
you know I spend so much time talking to
business people they’re nice but I you
know coming back and doing things with
artists is much more my home so it’s
it’s this is actually a joy for me to do
and so I think the goal of today I’m
sure I’ll wax on but the goal of today
is I’m here for you to answer questions
we can talk about what creative process
is what it means to be an artist in
today’s a day and age you know I have
gripes about some of it and and
hopefully we can all learn something and
be better off by the end of it so I’m
here to serve I’ll tell you one I’ll
just start off with one frustration I
have about the arts today I guess two
frustrations okay three three share two
frustrations one frustration is the
concept of patronage has gone away
you know Beethoven and Mozart didn’t pay
their own bills and somebody else saw
talent in them and somebody else paid
their bills yeah they did some teaching
but let’s be honest that’s not what paid
the bills and they had patrons who paid
their bills so that they would produce
and we have the symphonies and the
sonatas and the operas that we have from
them because others
to invest in that that was the product
that was the return on that investment
the ability to contribute to to society
to the arts what I lament is that the
arts have unfortunately too much become
business where the investment is to get
money back you know rather than to
produce something that is so necessary
and beautiful beautiful that it actually
contributes to to society at large
I miss the concept of patronage and I
would love to bring something like that
back now I guess we have grants and
things it’s not quite the same I
literally mean that an artist with
talent that others recognizes as talent
gets a salary that you don’t work you
don’t have a survival job your survival
job is the patronage I know I so that’s
one lamentation the other the other one
is as I mentioned that that too much of
I’m okay with a portion of art being
business there’s no problem with that
my concept my problem is is is it out of
balance has too much art become built
business you could say the same thing of
hospitals you could say the same thing
of universities where universities too
much have forgotten that their
responsibility is to educate students
not get donations right hospitals have
forgotten that their responsibilities to
take care of doctors and nurses and
staff so that the doctors and nurses and
staff can take care of the patients it’s
not how much money can we bring in and
how many famous doctors can we brag
about somebody once told me recently
that they introduced me to a I think was
a heart surgeon or some sort of famous
surgeon and they said you know they rate
these surgeons on how many of their
patients died you know that’s how they
keep track of who’s the best and and he
said you’re very lucky to meet a surgeon
here who has one of the lowest mortality
rates of all surgeons in his in his
field and I said oh I would never see
him and my friend said why not I said
because he passes on all the difficult
cases so we can make sure that his
patients live and I can guarantee you
that’s what happens I can guarantee
to you that some of the most difficult
cases the best surgeons do not take for
fear of upsetting their metrics
upsetting their reputations right and
unfortunately some of the most important
cases are being passed up by some of the
best surgeons now of course that’s not
in general I can guarantee you it’s
happening
the minute you start attaching numbers
to things like medical care or or
education or the arts necessarily or
each of those things will suffer its III
lament that universities advertise
themselves by bragging about the average
salary of their graduating students how
about the contribution to society of
their average student you know so so
anything that I can do to help ease the
way for you as you go on the journey as
an artist which is a and I hold you in
the same esteem that I hold the military
I I have a really big soft spot in my
heart for people who undertake a career
of service where where sacrifice is a
large part of what you’re expected to do
and few if any go into the business with
the expectation of getting rich right
and I think artists and and and military
are very very similar that it is if you
get it right if you get it right it is
an act of service it is an act of
service if you think it’s about fame and
fortune I wish you nothing but luck but
that’s also the difference maybe between
the film and a movie like one can stand
up as art and is hopefully entertaining
you want the other one is just
entertainment and hopefully is also
artistic so it’s not a better or worse
thing but just it’s about awareness of
the lifestyle and and career in the kind
of art artists journey that you want to
go on that’s my preamble
it’s pretty great preamble what you just
said reminded me of a conversation we
had once and I’m gonna try to jog your
memory about what actually defines art
and you were using a an example of
something that is in a gallery oh yeah
yeah okay okay so jog yeah yeah so so if
we can recognize things they must be
able we must be able to define them
right things that are recognizable are
definable and when people say art defies
definition then how do you know it’s art
and so I challenged myself to define art
right to come up with a working
definition it’s and it’s not subjective
it has to be objective it’s nothing to
do with art we like or don’t like it’s
to do with art and I and I and I think I
have a working definition I’ve been
testing it for years and so far it holds
up and it boils down to three things
there’s three tests that something must
pass to be called art right and I’ll
tell you what they are and then I’ll go
through each of them one is intention
one is display and the last is reception
right two recept is the verb it’s not
okay so and the test that I gave myself
right was things like Robert
Mapplethorpe okay Robert Mapplethorpe
took unbeli done believably beautifully
shot pornography so what makes it art
and not pornography and what makes you
know something in a in a pornographic
magazine pornography and not art so
that’s where I that was sort of I put
boundaries over here to make it more
difficult and so intention matters
intention is sometimes the intention of
the person who produces the work but not
always right so let’s say that the
intention of let’s say a pornographic
magazine the intention is not art the
intention is a masturbatory aid right
and so it immediately fails the first
test but what if a curator from the MoMA
decides to display
ten years worth of Playboy covers the
intention is now changed it wasn’t the
intention of the photograph but now it
has been converted by the curator right
so it has intention not by the artist
per se not by the Creator but by the the
person who intends it to be art then is
display must be displayed in an area
that is consistent with the intention so
we’re not displaying it in one of those
dine theaters we’re displaying it in a
place of artistic reputation Museum of
Modern Art and then it must be received
as such people come inside interesting
and then come up with all kinds of
nonsense about what the interpretation
of what the meaning is right so like
Dada
if you know da dusts what if you take a
peek like a piece of driftwood in nature
is just a piece of driftwood that’s all
it is and if someone recognizes its
beauty and points wouldn’t say isn’t
that beautiful it’s still just nature
it’s not yet art but if somebody says
that it has qualities that I intend to
display separate from its natural
environment and I remove the piece of
driftwood I now have intention I then
display it in the museum and people come
and look at and say isn’t that amazing
right so you have intention you have
display and you have reception which
means if you paint and you after every
painting you put the paintings under
your bed and they’re never seen you’re
not an artist you’re just a painter
right though you may have intention
there’s no display and there’s no
reception if you’re a poet and you sit
there and write the most fantastic poems
and show them to no one but your diary
you may have intention but there is
notice no display and there’s no
reception it must pass all three for it
to become art you were simply a writer
of poems you were a poet but you’re not
yet an artist right you can display it
in your own home that’s fine you can
just hang it up or read your poems to
your friends totally fine and your
friends go
that’s an amazing poem great can I read
you my new poem yes you can that’s where
it becomes art it’s nothing to do with
the quality can be bad art but it’s it
makes Jackson Pollock defendable whether
you like it or not it makes Robert
Mapplethorpe and by the way if we take
Mapplethorpe and put it in
a gay porn mag right it has now ceased
to be art it is now beautifully shot
pornography because the intention
display and reception is completely
changed so that’s my working definition
of art lots of good lots of gasping yes
or or I either one of us if there’s
intention display in reception sure so
performance artists are somebody who I
mean I think to say the world is a stage
is a little too abstract
you know that’s like the world is a
museum yeah yeah I mean too big too big
so so can human beings be works of art
if there is an intention to display
human being as a work of art if somebody
displays that as a work of art and if
it’s received as a work of art like
maybe the body’s exhibition you could
argue you know or somebody who chooses
to do some avant-garde piece where they
sit in a chair for 12 hours you know in
the Whitney Museum which has been done
then sure why not but not all people at
all times not all poems at all times not
somebody had to intend for it to be art
for before it was displayed so I don’t
like I don’t have a good argument that
it has to be in the order but it seems
to be a chronology to it first you have
to intend it or make it then you have to
show it to someone and somebody has to
go hmm you know so so I think it’s more
I think it’s more practical than it is
philosophical yes so remember so the
question was I you know as an artist you
you have intention you have display but
can I be confident of the the way it’s
received so it’s it’s not about how that
necessarily that people receive it but
is it a place where it should be
received as such so if you put on a play
in a theater you know it can be filled
that people be like this is an art right
you can take you know my grandfather
that are looking at Jackson Pollock
you’re like that’s not art it it’s a
balance thing you know that’s one
person’s I’m trying to remove the
subjective quality out of it yeah yeah
yes we can talk about other things by
so I think the part of it that I the
reason I added reception is because to
me art is like a gift you know if you
have capacity if you have talent if you
have grit and hard work and you want to
produce gifts are supposed to be given
so what’s the point of giving a gift is
no one gets it right what’s the point of
producing a symphony of no one gets to
hear it so I think reception is
important too
to give the art point meaning as opposed
to point less you know otherwise you’re
just decorating your home now we could
have a debate whether I’m receiving it
myself right so we could definitely
debate that but but I I think it I think
and maybe this is just the romantic in
me it has to be enjoyed and and maybe
one one one person is fine maybe if you
hang it in your own home and it’s just
for you that’s fine too but but I think
art has to be enjoyed otherwise what’s
the point you know otherwise it’s just
therapy you know I’m just painting for
therapy and we all do things like that
you know our art art has to have another
human being involved or to me art is
about a relationship right you you can’t
call yourself a romantic or somebody who
chooses to love another if if nobody
ever feels your love you know it’s I
think I think art is is it’s a type of
language right I know people who are the
world’s worst communicators when it
comes to their emotions when you asked
when you have a conversation with them
I’ve dated some of them
but given the opportunity to write it’s
magical and the feelings pour out on the
page in an eloquence like I’ve never
seen and as everyone here knows great
art in some way shape or form is always
personal or semi autobiographical right
it’s too hard to write pure fiction you
know we and we we put ourselves in it
because it gives it a sense of reality
in it and it’s what makes us passionate
for the subject that we’re tackling I
know dancers who you know you meet them
and they’re like this but as soon as
they start dancing you realize there’s
it’s all there
so so art is language and if no one
hears you know does a treat if a tree
falls in the woods you know if no one
hears what you’re saying is that we’re
saying anything they’re just false so
what’s the point of writing a play that
never gets shown it’s just a thought you
know it’s just an intention so ya know I
think it must be sure it’s it’s the it’s
it’s one of the ways in which people
communicate language is obviously the
several years ago I was at the National
young Arts Foundation working with I was
working specifically with theater
artists but they are an organization
that I’ve talked to you about before
they have artists and the literary arts
the Performing Arts the visual arts
everything under an artistic umbrella is
represented in there the best and the
brightest of the next generation of
artists so the absolute genius artist
Bill T Jones came down to do an
interdisciplinary workshop so we had
kids of every single artistic discipline
represented and he opened by saying if
you are a creative artist raise your
hand so of course all hands went up and
then he said if you are a dancer a
singer an actor a director put your
hands down and you could kind of feel
the room go like what the heck is going
on here and then he says you your hand
should be up if you are a poet if you
are a filmmaker if you’re a
choreographer a composer a playwright a
painter now raise your hand if you
an interpretive artists and dancers
raise your hand
singers raise their hand actors raise
your hand instrumentalists vocalists and
you could kind of feel this aha moment
happen so that’s really the question I
have for you is when you are an
interpretive artist as most people in
this room are not sure about you guys at
home but in this room we’ve got mostly
people who interpret to someone else’s
work so when you’re looking for
opportunities to find collaborators
someone whose work that you are going to
help bring to life do you have any
thoughts about yeah about what that
relationship is like and how to do it in
a meaningful way yeah so I went to see a
play with a friend of mine who is an
actor and the play was awful I mean a
train wreck the script was awful the
directing was awful I mean it was an
absolute train wreck and those sort of
the applause was kind of like you know
except for the parents they loved it and
I said to my friend I feel sorry for
them I feel sorry for the actors that
had to be poorly directed with this poor
script you know do that and I said just
do they know she says of course they
know and she said but do not feel sorry
for them because as actors it is their
responsibility despite the poor
directing and despite the poor script to
still bring something of themselves to
bear something personal that we should
be able to say what a bad script what
poor directing but my goodness what a
performance
right and so I was told not to feel
so the question does now the question
you asked was about collaboration right
should any of those actors have taken
the part now of course if you’re gonna
take a part because you need an extra
cash
a little extra cash or you want to get a
little extra practice then you have to
do so I think knowing I’m doing this for
the money
or I’m doing this just to keep keep my
skills sharp but I’m under no illusion
that this is something that I connect
with but I’m gonna do the best that I
can and then don’t lie to yourself you
know the other problem is don’t do that
too often because that’ll just destroy
any passion that you have for your
medium right and I think and we’ve
talked about this which is which is any
artist any person but especially artists
have to know they’re why you have to
know why you’re showing up in the first
place and you have to be able to talk
about it because if you talk about it
things happen people go I like you right
now you may not get the part but you’re
more likely to find people who want to
work with you even if you’re not the
most talented one who auditioned this is
my career by the way right when I
learned to talk about what I believed I
didn’t talk about the things I’ve done I
didn’t talk about the parts I’ve had or
the shows I’ve been in or who trained me
or the schools I went to resume resume
resume I started I learned to talk about
what I believed and some people thought
it was cheesy they didn’t call me back
good and some people went that’s great
and I was not the most talented not the
most experienced not the best at my
field but because they stood for or
believed in what I stood for they wanted
to work with me they would rather work
with someone who understood them who got
them more than somebody who would just
take orders and do exactly what they
wanted regardless of facility right now
you have to have some facility of course
you know there has to be some level of
talent we’re not talking about you know
all why and know what you know you’re
gonna you got a
you gotta bring the goods as well but
you notice I have to be the best great
producers great directors we know what
they stand for
we’re drawn to their work you can throw
at the name of a director I love their
work well they last three movies sucked
yeah that’s okay you know you know he’s
like we all have our like I love you no
Goomer del Toro just love how no I don’t
like all his movies I think some of them
were not that good I think some of them
were brilliant but I like the way he
views the world I want to see it when it
comes out and the fact is because I know
what he stands for and I know how he
sees the world I’m very patient with the
fact that he doesn’t always get it right
right so so I’m a huge modern dance
lover like that’s the thing I love and I
don’t go to the Joyce anymore
because everything that they have on
their stage is good it’s good everything
is safe to me they put things on their
stage that that’s good they sell tickets
nothing’s bad and nothing’s great it’s
all good
I don’t go anymore I go to BAM a lot I
have seen things that have profoundly
changed my view of the world and I have
walked out of more things at BAM
literally I’m like I’m done and my
friends like I’m like we can i am walked
outs out of so many things at BAM and
yet I continued to go and continue to go
and I continue to go because I know what
they stand for that’s my preference I’m
not saying it’s right or wrong I’m
saying that’s my preference that I would
rather take the risk of walking out
knowing that I might get moved in a way
that I’ve never experienced before more
than just go and have a nice night out
and see something that I know is good
right and I think that goes for our
careers as well you know which is if you
choose to be the kind of artist that
stands for something that you want to be
yourself and bring yourself into
everything that you do you will get
fewer parts you will the parts you get
we’ll move you in a way that most
artists will not get moved or you can
bend and manipulate yourself a little
bit and sort of be a little bit more of
what they want and play their role and
even though you don’t really buy into it
it’s a part and I want to be an actor I
want to be a performer I’m gonna I’m
gonna do what they want you will
absolutely get more parts without a
doubt you will met you will can arguably
have a better career but will you’ll be
profoundly moved as an artist the odds
are lower it’s not I can’t say never
it’s just the odds are lower it’s not
better or worse it is simply the
decision on how you choose to manage or
lead your own career both are acceptable
right one means you get to use your
facility a lot one means you get to work
a lot one means you might be able to do
only your art and actually make a living
one means that you’re gonna be meeting a
lot of people and the odds are that you
will connect with somebody at some point
or you choose this route which is much
more difficult and is fraught with much
more risk and much more struggle but you
become known for the thing that you are
and it’s a choice and I think the the
the mistake that most artists that I
mean especially performing artists were
this this constant audition machine
right I think they try and play both and
I don’t think you can be yourself and
then also play the part that they want
you to play I don’t think you can I
think that’s impossible I think that’s
where the stress lies where you think
you can play both sides of the coin I
think that’s where the that’s where it
becomes depressing and I think that’s
where it sucks the soul out when you
when you trick yourself to think that
you can have both because you can’t it
doesn’t exist on any planet you just got
to make a choice now you can make a
choice halfway you can change directions
but but but there has to be a
that is chosen and you you find
confidence in that path it may be
difficult but it doesn’t suck the soul
out of it you know it doesn’t become
depressing it just becomes difficult and
that’s okay difficult is fine but I
think you have to make a choice and the
kind of career you want and again it’s
not good or bad right or wrong
there’s simply choices like there’s
nothing wrong with choice there’s
nothing wrong with yours joy sells a lot
of tickets there’s nothing wrong with it
it’s just a choice to live on these
extremes versus VX these extremes this
is very balanced this is very balanced
and it’s like entrepreneurs versus
people who get jobs and come in
corporations like there is no right or
wrong or good or bad you know
entrepreneurs experience highs that
people in a job will never experience
they also experience lows that people in
a job will never experience people in
companies who take jobs with stability
and your highs are not that high but
your loans are not that low you know
they’re both balanced but the point is
you can’t have one without the other you
kind of have this you can only have this
you can’t choose to want this and this
it just doesn’t work that way
you get this or you get this and it’s
the same thing was I’m talking about
here you can have this as a creative
career you can have this as a creative
career and then you prepare yourself for
four you know it’s like people with
curly hair when straight hair and people
don’t want curly hair it’s the same
thing these people will complain
these people will always complain that
why can’t I ever get that and these
people complain I can never get a job
you’re gonna be stressed no matter what
focus on the thing that you’re getting
because that’s the choice you made right
I draw much rather you focus the thing
you you you’re you were pursuing rather
the thing you’re missing and so this
idea of affirmative thinking positive
thinking is essential for all people but
I think it’s especially essential for
artists and there’s a very very simple
biological reason for it which is the
human brain cannot comprehend the
negative it is incapable yes it’s true
I’ll give you an example
okay no no I’ll give you an example you don’t have to believe me
don’t have to believe me I’ll prove it I’ll prove it
I’ll prove it I’ll prove it okay the human brain cannot comprehend
okay the human brain cannot comprehend the negative you ready don’t think of an
the negative you ready don’t think of an elephant you can’t you can’t tell the
elephant you can’t you can’t tell the human brain not to do something right
human brain not to do something right and so what happens is we very often
and so what happens is we very often reinforce things when we put things in
reinforce things when we put things in the negative right I can’t get apart I
the negative right I can’t get apart I can’t get apart I can’t get apart right
can’t get apart I can’t get apart right or I can’t do this versus I’m gonna keep
or I can’t do this versus I’m gonna keep doing this I’m gonna keep doing this I’m
doing this I’m gonna keep doing this I’m gonna keep doing this right and and it’s
gonna keep doing this right and and it’s such a huge thing to convert things into
such a huge thing to convert things into the affirmative you’re supposed to do
the affirmative you’re supposed to do with children as well we’re supposed to
with children as well we’re supposed to say instead of saying to children don’t
say instead of saying to children don’t eat on the couch we’re supposed to say
eat on the couch we’re supposed to say eat at the table right we tell people
eat at the table right we tell people what we want them to do not what them
what we want them to do not what them what we don’t want to do pilots know
what we don’t want to do pilots know this right it is well known in the pilot
this right it is well known in the pilot community that when you tell a pilot
community that when you tell a pilot don’t hit the obstacle they’ll hit the
don’t hit the obstacle they’ll hit the obstacle because what they’re doing is
obstacle because what they’re doing is focusing on the obstacle skiers know
focusing on the obstacle skiers know this if if you ever seen skiers go
this if if you ever seen skiers go through trees do you know how they do
through trees do you know how they do that it’s very easy it’s actually
that it’s very easy it’s actually surprisingly easy if you go through
surprisingly easy if you go through trees on skis you go don’t hit a tree
trees on skis you go don’t hit a tree don’t hit a tree don’t hit a tree guess
don’t hit a tree don’t hit a tree guess what you’re watching you’re only looking
what you’re watching you’re only looking at trees all you’re doing is seeing
at trees all you’re doing is seeing trees you don’t understand how anyone
trees you don’t understand how anyone can ski with all these trees right as
can ski with all these trees right as opposed to follow the snow follow the
opposed to follow the snow follow the path follow the path the only thing you
path follow the path the only thing you see is the path skiers know this if you
see is the path skiers know this if you say don’t hit a tree you’ll hit a tree
say don’t hit a tree you’ll hit a tree you won’t be able to find a path because
you won’t be able to find a path because all you see is millions of trees if you
all you see is millions of trees if you say only follow the path you actually
say only follow the path you actually don’t see any trees there’s actually
don’t see any trees there’s actually very sparse trees there’s plenty of
very sparse trees there’s plenty of paths there’s plenty of snow it’s the
paths there’s plenty of snow it’s the same thing for you if you focus on the
same thing for you if you focus on the obstacles all you will see as obstacles
obstacles all you will see as obstacles if you focus on the path through the
if you focus on the path through the trees all you will see is path through
trees all you will see is path through the trees
the trees it’s your choice how you choose to
it’s your choice how you choose to perceive your own career
perceive your own career it’s literally perspective it’s
it’s literally perspective it’s literally perspective reminded of
literally perspective reminded of something that you said to me about
something that you said to me about actors who are always looking for the
actors who are always looking for the next job are always playing this short
next job are always playing this short game Oh
game Oh finite bill and I would love for you to
finite bill and I would love for you to talk about that because the the concept
talk about that because the the concept of being in it for the long haul is yep
of being in it for the long haul is yep so important yes okay I’m so I’m not
so important yes okay I’m so I’m not gonna bore you with grit and stick with
gonna bore you with grit and stick with it miss it’s a it’s a it’s a more
it miss it’s a it’s a it’s a more philosophical concept right I’ve become
philosophical concept right I’ve become very very interested in the idea of
very very interested in the idea of playing in games that have no finish
playing in games that have no finish lines right some games have finish
lines right some games have finish line’s right baseball football right
line’s right baseball football right getting a part is a finish line you
getting a part is a finish line you audition there’s a beginning middle and
audition there’s a beginning middle and end whose rehearsal and practice there’s
end whose rehearsal and practice there’s showing up for the audition and you
showing up for the audition and you either win or you lose and then it’s
either win or you lose and then it’s over it’s over right that is finite but
over it’s over right that is finite but one’s career is infinite there’s there’s
one’s career is infinite there’s there’s no end it’s like our lives are finite
no end it’s like our lives are finite but life is infinite people come and
but life is infinite people come and people go but life continues right
people go but life continues right theater actors come in actors go but
theater actors come in actors go but theater continues it’s infinite you
theater continues it’s infinite you don’t win theatre you win a part but
don’t win theatre you win a part but what happens once you get the part the
what happens once you get the part the the finite game is over now you enter
the finite game is over now you enter the infinite game you have to be able to
the infinite game you have to be able to convert right and the reason this is
convert right and the reason this is important and I’ve seen this
important and I’ve seen this unfortunately so many times I have a
unfortunately so many times I have a friend one of those people who’s
friend one of those people who’s furiously talented frustratingly
furiously talented frustratingly talented and we all hate her because she
talented and we all hate her because she would oversleep and miss auditions and
would oversleep and miss auditions and then the one she’d roll into she’d get
then the one she’d roll into she’d get the part like we hate her right
that is her career and as a little girl I think she was eight years old ten
I think she was eight years old ten years old she drew a picture of herself
years old she drew a picture of herself with her name and says New York City
with her name and says New York City Rockettes and she drew a picture of the
Rockettes and she drew a picture of the Rockettes
Rockettes now all she wanted to do was be on
now all she wanted to do was be on Broadway and become a Rockette she
Broadway and become a Rockette she became a Rockette
became a Rockette all she wanted to do was get to Broadway
all she wanted to do was get to Broadway and we all know people like this some of
and we all know people like this some of you are here which is from a young age
you are here which is from a young age all you wanted to do was get to Broadway
all you wanted to do was get to Broadway and then you get to Broadway and then
and then you get to Broadway and then what you’ve devoted your entire life to
what you’ve devoted your entire life to one finite goal and when you get there
one finite goal and when you get there the immediate response is depression
the immediate response is depression because I I spent 15 years of my life
because I I spent 15 years of my life for this one thing and I got it and now
for this one thing and I got it and now I don’t know what to do next like what a
I don’t know what to do next like what a get to Broadway again doesn’t have the
get to Broadway again doesn’t have the same ambition it doesn’t have the same
same ambition it doesn’t have the same passion you know that you’ve devoted you
passion you know that you’ve devoted you from you know you’re from Fargo North
from you know you’re from Fargo North Dakota and that’s all you wanted to do
Dakota and that’s all you wanted to do is get out of Fargo and make it to
is get out of Fargo and make it to Broadway and you may eat it right it
Broadway and you may eat it right it doesn’t have the same kind of passion
doesn’t have the same kind of passion and this is because these are finite
and this is because these are finite goals there’s a lot of studies that have
goals there’s a lot of studies that have been done with athletes who have finite
been done with athletes who have finite goals to become the greatest X in the
goals to become the greatest X in the world right so Andre Agassi was one of
world right so Andre Agassi was one of these one of these athletes he wanted to
these one of these athletes he wanted to become the greatest tennis player that
become the greatest tennis player that ever lived
ever lived guess what everyone in his life he would
guess what everyone in his life he would he would view them through how do you
he would view them through how do you help me get to that everything was how
help me get to that everything was how does this help me get to that everything
does this help me get to that everything was a transaction – how do you help me
was a transaction – how do you help me move to that and then you know what
move to that and then you know what happens he achieved that he became the
happens he achieved that he became the greatest tennis player in the world and
greatest tennis player in the world and you know what happened immediately after
you know what happened immediately after depression Michael Phelps set out to
depression Michael Phelps set out to become the most medaled Olympian in
become the most medaled Olympian in history do you know what he achieved it
history do you know what he achieved it you’re not happen – immediately after
you’re not happen – immediately after depression they spend their whole life
depression they spend their whole life working for one goal though most will
working for one goal though most will never get it the few that do don’t know
never get it the few that do don’t know what to do next because their goals were
what to do next because their goals were finite
finite their goals were finite right and so
their goals were finite right and so there are finite components to your
there are finite components to your career but your career should be
career but your career should be infinite so yes of course you have to
infinite so yes of course you have to win the finite game you have to get the
win the finite game you have to get the part but immediately when you get the
part but immediately when you get the part
part now you convert to infinite now you
now you convert to infinite now you convert to the reason why you wanted to
convert to the reason why you wanted to do this in the first place by the way
do this in the first place by the way team athletics doesn’t suffer the same
team athletics doesn’t suffer the same thing so when the team wins the Super
thing so when the team wins the Super Bowl the team wins the Stanley Cup
Bowl the team wins the Stanley Cup there is no depression afterwards
there is no depression afterwards because there was a team because they
because there was a team because they knew it wasn’t about in each of them and
knew it wasn’t about in each of them and as individuals is about the group that
as individuals is about the group that had to work together there’s
had to work together there’s relationships as opposed to solo
relationships as opposed to solo individual and I think one of the
individual and I think one of the stupidest things that artists do is
stupidest things that artists do is think that they’re in this alone
think that they’re in this alone or worse try to do it alone you’re
or worse try to do it alone you’re you’re stupid right how do you have a
you’re stupid right how do you have a marriage in with one person paying
marriage in with one person paying attention to the marriage it takes two
attention to the marriage it takes two right how do you do anything difficult
right how do you do anything difficult in the world by yourself you can’t is
in the world by yourself you can’t is the answer human beings are just not
the answer human beings are just not smart enough and just not strong enough
smart enough and just not strong enough we’re just not we don’t even have the
we’re just not we don’t even have the emotional fortitude to do it this
emotional fortitude to do it this concept of courage and sticking with it
concept of courage and sticking with it it’s all courage is an external
it’s all courage is an external thing right so I have met people who
thing right so I have met people who literally have courage what we would
literally have courage what we would call courage they have put their lives
call courage they have put their lives on the line they’ve thrown themselves
on the line they’ve thrown themselves into harm’s way in order to save the
into harm’s way in order to save the life of someone else they have done
life of someone else they have done something that we would consider mad
something that we would consider mad that violates all tenets of survive you
that violates all tenets of survive you knows that we’re supposed to do things
knows that we’re supposed to do things to make to survive so that someone else
to make to survive so that someone else will survive current real courage and
will survive current real courage and I’ve talked to them and I think always
I’ve talked to them and I think always say why did you do it you’ve got a wife
say why did you do it you’ve got a wife you’ve got kids why would you do that
you’ve got kids why would you do that they all give me the same answer every
they all give me the same answer every time because they would have done it for
time because they would have done it for me because someone else would have done
me because someone else would have done the same for me it is the absolute
the same for me it is the absolute confidence that the person to the left
confidence that the person to the left and the person to the right will do this
and the person to the right will do this same for me that gives them the courage
same for me that gives them the courage to do amazing things it is external
to do amazing things it is external they’re the most the world’s most famous
they’re the most the world’s most famous trapeze artist would never try a brand
trapeze artist would never try a brand new death-defying act for the first time
new death-defying act for the first time without a net that’s madness that’s what
without a net that’s madness that’s what relationships are the net right the days
relationships are the net right the days you’ve not sure you can do it the days
you’ve not sure you can do it the days you’re beaten up the days you’re hard on
you’re beaten up the days you’re hard on yourself the days you’re depressed the
yourself the days you’re depressed the days you wonder why it’s worth it simply
days you wonder why it’s worth it simply having someone in your life agos I
having someone in your life agos I believe in you you got this I’m here
believe in you you got this I’m here we’ll do it together
we’ll do it together cry on my shoulder that’s what gives us
cry on my shoulder that’s what gives us the courage to go back the next day it’s
the courage to go back the next day it’s not us it’s not us when you become a
not us it’s not us when you become a marine the recruits will sit on the
marine the recruits will sit on the floor of their barracks and they will
floor of their barracks and they will watch as their drill instructor for the
watch as their drill instructor for the next 13 weeks takes the drill instructor
next 13 weeks takes the drill instructor oath right in front of them right now
oath right in front of them right now this is the person to be yelling in
this is the person to be yelling in their face for 13 weeks right and they
their face for 13 weeks right and they hear that drilling truck structure say I
hear that drilling truck structure say I will continue to believe in you even
will continue to believe in you even when you stop believing in yourself
when you stop believing in yourself that’s what gives them courage to Kate
that’s what gives them courage to Kate keep going right if you think that you
keep going right if you think that you can do this alone you cannot and I wish
can do this alone you cannot and I wish that artists would be more supportive of
that artists would be more supportive of each other at auditions you’ll look at
each other at auditions you’ll look at each other like you’re the enemy’s right
each other like you’re the enemy’s right like you’re gonna take my part right as
like you’re gonna take my part right as opposed to saying to somebody good luck
opposed to saying to somebody good luck or you got this I believe in you you’re
or you got this I believe in you you’re so good I hope you get it
so good I hope you get it and have genuine joy when they do we’re
and have genuine joy when they do we’re not talking about strangers not talk
not talking about strangers not talk about everybody in the room I’m talking
about everybody in the room I’m talking about people you know I’m talking about
about people you know I’m talking about your friends who show up for the same
your friends who show up for the same audition I mean so many people when
audition I mean so many people when somebody else gets a part of the they
somebody else gets a part of the they don’t deserve well maybe they were one
don’t deserve well maybe they were one of those artists who spoke about what
of those artists who spoke about what they believed and they happened to
they believed and they happened to connect with the person in the room and
connect with the person in the room and maybe they’ve had 13 failures before you
maybe they’ve had 13 failures before you and you get every now and then you get
and you get every now and then you get every third one they do deserve it
every third one they do deserve it sometimes it’s completely unfair I have
sometimes it’s completely unfair I have a friend who auditioned for cabaret she
a friend who auditioned for cabaret she auditioned so many times that they knew
auditioned so many times that they knew her they loved her right and she went in
her they loved her right and she went in one time she told me the story of how
one time she told me the story of how she went in one time they go oh you’re
she went in one time they go oh you’re perfect you’re perfect the problem is we
perfect you’re perfect the problem is we want a brunette and you’re a blonde
want a brunette and you’re a blonde seriously that’s why they threw her out
seriously that’s why they threw her out because they have no imagination she’ll
because they have no imagination she’ll die her hair never occurred to them
die her hair never occurred to them she’s a blonde she didn’t fit the image
she’s a blonde she didn’t fit the image and my point is it’s unfair it’s unfair
and my point is it’s unfair it’s unfair get over it you know it’s it’s unfair
get over it you know it’s it’s unfair right it’s not a meritocracy it’s just
right it’s not a meritocracy it’s just not right it’s just not and so I think I
not right it’s just not and so I think I think this idea of relationships III I
think this idea of relationships III I wish artists especially performing
wish artists especially performing artists had support groups for each
artists had support groups for each other I don’t mean I mean not online not
other I don’t mean I mean not online not over text I mean every last Thursday of
over text I mean every last Thursday of every month a group of there might be
every month a group of there might be ten or fifteen you have in the group and
ten or fifteen you have in the group and whoever could show up you go out for
whoever could show up you go out for dinner or you meet at someone’s house
dinner or you meet at someone’s house you just talk sometimes you talk about
you just talk sometimes you talk about the business and sometimes you don’t it
the business and sometimes you don’t it doesn’t matter but every last Thursday
doesn’t matter but every last Thursday of every month this group of artists who
of every month this group of artists who are all going through the same thing
meet let me tell you the power of that and
let me tell you the power of that and the importance of that and I’ll give you
the importance of that and I’ll give you an extreme example so that you have no
an extreme example so that you have no excuse to say well I wouldn’t work for
excuse to say well I wouldn’t work for us
us I met a former marine recently named
I met a former marine recently named Zack Zack reached out to us we’re not
Zack Zack reached out to us we’re not really sure why he’s not really sure why
really sure why he’s not really sure why but he did and he wrote an email that
but he did and he wrote an email that touched us and so I called Zack and I
touched us and so I called Zack and I cried with him on the phone and I wanted
cried with him on the phone and I wanted to meet him but I actually got to meet
to meet him but I actually got to meet him this week
him this week Zack left the Marine Corps and suffered
Zack left the Marine Corps and suffered serious PTSD he refused to call it PTSD
serious PTSD he refused to call it PTSD because he was only deployed once and to
because he was only deployed once and to him PTSD is actually a badge of honor
him PTSD is actually a badge of honor you earn if you deploy multiple multiple
you earn if you deploy multiple multiple times so he hadn’t earned the right to
times so he hadn’t earned the right to say I have PTSD in his mind this is what
say I have PTSD in his mind this is what he said and it was so bad and the
he said and it was so bad and the depression was so hard the nightmares
depression was so hard the nightmares were so awful that Zack decided to kill
were so awful that Zack decided to kill himself the way he decided to kill
himself the way he decided to kill himself was that he took his motorcycle
himself was that he took his motorcycle out on the highway and he chose a truck
out on the highway and he chose a truck and he was gonna Ram his motorcycle into
and he was gonna Ram his motorcycle into the back of the truck and so he was
the back of the truck and so he was going 150 miles an hour down the highway
going 150 miles an hour down the highway and right as he was about to hit the
and right as he was about to hit the truck for some weird reason the truck
truck for some weird reason the truck changed lanes and he just went right
changed lanes and he just went right past it a completely different time he
past it a completely different time he decided to try again and you know when
decided to try again and you know when when a highway splits or there’s a
when a highway splits or there’s a bridge this is usually a some sort of
bridge this is usually a some sort of concrete bollard you know Zack decided
concrete bollard you know Zack decided to ram his motorcycle into the concrete
to ram his motorcycle into the concrete bollard he was upgrading his strategy
bollard he was upgrading his strategy because it can’t move
hee hee was hard on the throttle driving straight towards a concrete bollard
straight towards a concrete bollard nobody’s exactly sure what happened or
nobody’s exactly sure what happened or why it happened but his back tire
why it happened but his back tire skidded on dirt and it pushed him out of
skidded on dirt and it pushed him out of the way didn’t die so he tried again he
the way didn’t die so he tried again he decided this time to ride his bike into
decided this time to ride his bike into oncoming traffic so on the highway one
oncoming traffic so on the highway one night he drove into oncoming traffic
night he drove into oncoming traffic turn the lights off his motorcycle and
turn the lights off his motorcycle and drove trying to hit a car and all the
drove trying to hit a car and all the cars kept honking and driving around him
cars kept honking and driving around him he didn’t die he tried a fourth time and
he didn’t die he tried a fourth time and he wouldn’t tell us that story but it
he wouldn’t tell us that story but it didn’t work and so he realized he
didn’t work and so he realized he probably has to keep living and he
probably has to keep living and he realized what he was missing was people
realized what he was missing was people who get him and he met a soldier who
who get him and he met a soldier who says I know what you’re going through
says I know what you’re going through come and work with me
come and work with me Anzac now has devoted his life to
Anzac now has devoted his life to helping other Marines who are struggling
helping other Marines who are struggling people who they feel alone and they feel
people who they feel alone and they feel that nobody gets them they could ask for
that nobody gets them they could ask for help and there’s plenty of support
help and there’s plenty of support groups and people and friends and
groups and people and friends and sisters and brothers who want to love
sisters and brothers who want to love them and hold them but they have no idea
them and hold them but they have no idea what they went through and so it’s
what they went through and so it’s Marines helping Marines
Marines helping Marines it’s soldiers helping soldiers its
it’s soldiers helping soldiers its sailors helping sailors it’s Airmen
sailors helping sailors it’s Airmen helping Airmen they don’t even let
helping Airmen they don’t even let Airmen help Marines Marines help Marines
Airmen help Marines Marines help Marines soldiers help soldiers sailors help
soldiers help soldiers sailors help sailors and airmen helped Herrmann
sailors and airmen helped Herrmann somebody who totally understands what
somebody who totally understands what you’ve gone through and says I’ll be
you’ve gone through and says I’ll be there for you so when they say you got
there for you so when they say you got to go see a shrink
to go see a shrink I’m not seeing a shrink like dude I was
I’m not seeing a shrink like dude I was there I know exactly what you’re going
there I know exactly what you’re going through I’m telling you got to see one
through I’m telling you got to see one they will look after you and then
they will look after you and then they’ll introduce you to a psychologist
they’ll introduce you to a psychologist who was a Marine
who was a Marine not just some random psychologist or
not just some random psychologist or some random doctor they keep it in the
some random doctor they keep it in the family right and he’s fantastic and he’s
family right and he’s fantastic and he’s happy and he has purpose and I mean what
happy and he has purpose and I mean what an amazing human being we got to
an amazing human being we got to you know he’s such a good guy so if it
you know he’s such a good guy so if it works for them artists need to help
works for them artists need to help artists actors need to help actors
artists actors need to help actors dancers need to help dancers singers
dancers need to help dancers singers need to help singers triple threats need
need to help singers triple threats need to help triple threats you got it you
to help triple threats you got it you got to create community because your
got to create community because your friends don’t know the world you live in
friends don’t know the world you live in they don’t know their life you live they
they don’t know their life you live they can’t relate they’re well-intentioned
can’t relate they’re well-intentioned they just don’t understand you have to
they just don’t understand you have to help each other genuinely form a group
help each other genuinely form a group of people who love each other just go do
of people who love each other just go do thing go bowling together it doesn’t
thing go bowling together it doesn’t matter what you do but you’ve got to
matter what you do but you’ve got to have community you guys have very weak
have community you guys have very weak community and it’s most evident when
community and it’s most evident when you’re waiting I’ve gone I’ve gone just
you’re waiting I’ve gone I’ve gone just out of curiosity I went and hung out I
out of curiosity I went and hung out I do things like this I went I cuz I hear
do things like this I went I cuz I hear you guys talking about it so I want to
you guys talking about it so I want to see was all about so I went by a noose
see was all about so I went by a noose open I went to one of those places that
open I went to one of those places that have all the auditions and I just went
have all the auditions and I just went and hung out I wouldn’t just hung out
and hung out I wouldn’t just hung out and it was awful it was I hated every
and it was awful it was I hated every second of it I wasn’t even auditioning
second of it I wasn’t even auditioning and I didn’t want to be there I could
and I didn’t want to be there I could feel the tension I could see the daggers
feel the tension I could see the daggers I could feel the hatred I could feel the
I could feel the hatred I could feel the jealousy I could feel the insecurity I
jealousy I could feel the insecurity I could see it and it was awful and I
could see it and it was awful and I hated every second and I didn’t see
hated every second and I didn’t see anybody and people knew each other
anybody and people knew each other people like hey you know people knew
people like hey you know people knew each I didn’t see anybody offers support
each I didn’t see anybody offers support to anybody somebody practicing their
to anybody somebody practicing their lines and somebody was just hanging
lines and somebody was just hanging around nobody said let me help you I
around nobody said let me help you I didn’t see any of them it was gross so
so the question was about visualization and and while watching the Olympics
and and while watching the Olympics you’re watching some of these these
you’re watching some of these these super high performers and some of them
super high performers and some of them talked about visualizing this one
talked about visualizing this one athlete said I’m uncomfortable
athlete said I’m uncomfortable visualizing right does that what
visualizing right does that what happened oh you’re saying it’s
happened oh you’re saying it’s uncomfortable oh that’s a defense
uncomfortable oh that’s a defense situation all together
so you’re uncomfortable visualizing success
success [Music]
[Music] so there’s finite success and then
so there’s finite success and then they’re staying in the game they’re
they’re staying in the game they’re different finite success and you have to
different finite success and you have to play finite games within the infinite
play finite games within the infinite you have to write and there as long as
you have to write and there as long as there’s a beginning middle and end
there’s a beginning middle and end that’s a finite game and we all have to
that’s a finite game and we all have to agree on what the rules of the game are
agree on what the rules of the game are we all agree that once the parts are
we all agree that once the parts are given out the game is over and everybody
given out the game is over and everybody agrees to that that’s how we know it’s
agrees to that that’s how we know it’s the end but there nobody knows what the
the end but there nobody knows what the end after that is because we haven’t
end after that is because we haven’t agreed upon it or nobody’s even agreed
agreed upon it or nobody’s even agreed upon what success is is it money
upon what success is is it money is it number of parts landed is it the
is it number of parts landed is it the size of the part you get is it being on
size of the part you get is it being on the front or being in the back like is
the front or being in the back like is it better to be the lead and a small
it better to be the lead and a small play or in the chorus of a big one like
play or in the chorus of a big one like I don’t know right the point is we
I don’t know right the point is we haven’t agreed and we haven’t agreed on
haven’t agreed and we haven’t agreed on the timeframe well you have to be able
the timeframe well you have to be able to land a part in four years otherwise
to land a part in four years otherwise you’re a failure or you’re a success
you’re a failure or you’re a success like we haven’t agreed that’s the
like we haven’t agreed that’s the infinite part of it right there are
infinite part of it right there are finite components within but that’s the
finite components within but that’s the infant a part of it so the the you have
infant a part of it so the the you have to get comfortable visualizing I hate to
to get comfortable visualizing I hate to tell you but it has to be on your own
tell you but it has to be on your own terms right and it’s the difference
terms right and it’s the difference between seeing in the trees and seeing
between seeing in the trees and seeing the path is if you’re saying I’m
the path is if you’re saying I’m uncomfortable seeing success what you’re
uncomfortable seeing success what you’re saying is I’d rather look at trees and
saying is I’d rather look at trees and here’s the good news
here’s the good news you’ll hit them right like there’s a
you’ll hit them right like there’s a narrative in your head and that
narrative in your head and that narrative has to change because you will
narrative has to change because you will fulfill your own narrative right I’ll
fulfill your own narrative right I’ll tell you a funny story that makes my
tell you a funny story that makes my point in a circuitous way but it’s a
point in a circuitous way but it’s a funny story
funny story so I wanted to prove that all marketing
so I wanted to prove that all marketing was the same thing Nevada what you were
was the same thing Nevada what you were selling it was always the same thing
selling it was always the same thing right and good marketing talked about
right and good marketing talked about the buyer and bad marketing talked about
the buyer and bad marketing talked about the seller makes sense I versus you
the seller makes sense I versus you right so to illustrate my point I wanted
right so to illustrate my point I wanted to prove that what the homeless do and
to prove that what the homeless do and what Microsoft does
what Microsoft does is the same thing so if you think about
is the same thing so if you think about what the homeless do there is
what the homeless do there is advertising they sit there with a little
advertising they sit there with a little sign that says I’m homeless I’m hungry I
sign that says I’m homeless I’m hungry I got six kids I’m a veteran like whatever
got six kids I’m a veteran like whatever whatever whatever trying to appeal to
whatever whatever trying to appeal to everybody that’s called a little
everybody that’s called a little billboard right Microsoft has a
billboard right Microsoft has a billboard that says more memory bigger
billboard that says more memory bigger screen all the rest of it right more RAM
screen all the rest of it right more RAM or ROM right and what the homeless are
or ROM right and what the homeless are selling is goodwill so if you walk past
selling is goodwill so if you walk past a homeless person you put money in their
a homeless person you put money in their cup you feel good if you give them
cup you feel good if you give them nothing you either feel nothing or feel
nothing you either feel nothing or feel bad you paid for that feeling there’s an
bad you paid for that feeling there’s an exchange of consideration I sold you
exchange of consideration I sold you goodwill you paid for it you got it
goodwill you paid for it you got it right
right they’re selling goodwill that’s what
they’re selling goodwill that’s what they’re doing is selling the feeling of
they’re doing is selling the feeling of goodwill so I found a homeless person
goodwill so I found a homeless person who was willing to help me and hurt her
who was willing to help me and hurt her sign was pretty typical and I found out
sign was pretty typical and I found out that she makes between 20 and 30 dollars
that she makes between 20 and 30 dollars a day selling goodwill and she works in
a day selling goodwill and she works in 8 to 10-hour day right $30 is considered
8 to 10-hour day right $30 is considered a good day right selling goodwill and
a good day right selling goodwill and like I said her sign was pretty typical
like I said her sign was pretty typical so I asked if I could change her sign
so I asked if I could change her sign and we did and the sign that I gave her
and we did and the sign that I gave her she made $40 in two hours the sign that
she made $40 in two hours the sign that I gave her said if you only give once a
I gave her said if you only give once a month please think of me next time it
month please think of me next time it wasn’t about the seller it was about the
wasn’t about the seller it was about the giver what are the reasons people say
giver what are the reasons people say they don’t give how do I know that
they don’t give how do I know that they’re genuine I can’t give to everyone
they’re genuine I can’t give to everyone so I simply answered the questions if
so I simply answered the questions if you only give once a month please think
you only give once a month please think of me next time I know you can’t give to
of me next time I know you can’t give to everybody I’m legit that’s all right now
everybody I’m legit that’s all right now here’s the point was gonna make she
here’s the point was gonna make she could have made $150 that day but after
could have made $150 that day but after she made her $40 in two hours she left
she made her $40 in two hours she left because one of the reasons she’s
because one of the reasons she’s homeless or we could we couldn’t surmise
homeless or we could we couldn’t surmise that one of the reasons she’s homeless
that one of the reasons she’s homeless is she’s decided that she needs 20 or
is she’s decided that she needs 20 or $30 to live per day so once she had it
$30 to live per day so once she had it she moved on it’s a narrative it’s a
she moved on it’s a narrative it’s a narrative right so she’ll stay there
narrative right so she’ll stay there because she didn’t sit longer that’s a
because she didn’t sit longer that’s a narrative so there’s a wonderful little
narrative so there’s a wonderful little trick you can use with your NER
trick you can use with your NER right just add the word yet at the end
right just add the word yet at the end okay
okay I’ll never get I’m not famous yet not
I’ll never get I’m not famous yet not that talented yet I’m so bad and not
that talented yet I’m so bad and not good at auditions like I need to get
good at auditions like I need to get better at E like I suck at auditions
better at E like I suck at auditions for now right you can just add a couple
for now right you can just add a couple of words of hope or opportunity or the
of words of hope or opportunity or the potential for future or some sort of
potential for future or some sort of infinite component that will profoundly
infinite component that will profoundly change your narrative we all get hard on
change your narrative we all get hard on ourselves we all beat ourselves up and
ourselves we all beat ourselves up and by the way in your community when you
by the way in your community when you start going out every last Thursday of
start going out every last Thursday of every month right and somebody says I
every month right and somebody says I suck at this one of you will say for now
suck at this one of you will say for now [Music]
[Music] you’ll you’ll you’ll correct them I’ll
you’ll you’ll you’ll correct them I’ll never make it yet just you don’t have to
never make it yet just you don’t have to yell at them scream you like no you got
yell at them scream you like no you got to be positive
to be positive just just just throw in a word at the
just just just throw in a word at the end of the sentence for them so what you
end of the sentence for them so what you have is a narrative so I’ll give you one
have is a narrative so I’ll give you one more Olympic story I was also watching
more Olympic story I was also watching the Olympics and this is what I make I
the Olympics and this is what I make I realize this when I was watching the
realize this when I was watching the London Olympics so a couple of weeks ago
London Olympics so a couple of weeks ago and I was annoyed by how all the
and I was annoyed by how all the journalists asked all the athletes the
journalists asked all the athletes the same stupid question literally everyone
same stupid question literally everyone were you nervous or are you nervous
were you nervous or are you nervous whether it was before or after the event
whether it was before or after the event every single time and every single time
every single time and every single time all the athletes gave the exact same
all the athletes gave the exact same answer
answer no as excited no I’m excited
no as excited no I’m excited every single time these elite athletes
every single time these elite athletes had learned to interpret body stimulus
had learned to interpret body stimulus what is what are the signs of
what is what are the signs of nervousness your heart races you
nervousness your heart races you visualize the future you clamp your
visualize the future you clamp your hands get clammy what’s this what are
hands get clammy what’s this what are the stimulus for excitement your heart
the stimulus for excitement your heart races you visualize the future of your
races you visualize the future of your hands get clammy they had learned to
hands get clammy they had learned to interpret what their body was telling
interpret what their body was telling them not as nerves but his excitement
them not as nerves but his excitement and the reason the journalists said were
and the reason the journalists said were you nervous
you nervous because they would be nervous athletes
because they would be nervous athletes would never say that to each other they
would never say that to each other they say that was exciting so I tried I did a
say that was exciting so I tried I did a little test on myself right I’m on a
little test on myself right I’m on a plane we start hitting some really bad
plane we start hitting some really bad turbulence I go and then I say to myself
turbulence I go and then I say to myself literally out loud this is exciting
literally out loud this is exciting and I was fine and I was fine so I do it
and I was fine and I was fine so I do it a lot now when I find myself getting
a lot now when I find myself getting nervous I say to myself this is so
nervous I say to myself this is so exciting and I’ll explain the reason to
exciting and I’ll explain the reason to myself why so like an actor you don’t
myself why so like an actor you don’t get nervous when you’re going to stage
get nervous when you’re going to stage anymore but occasionally you do so I get
anymore but occasionally you do so I get to go on stage a lot and I don’t really
to go on stage a lot and I don’t really get nervous much anymore but I was going
get nervous much anymore but I was going to present to 3,000 Chiefs of Police
to present to 3,000 Chiefs of Police right in the middle of all this police
right in the middle of all this police brutality hullabaloo and I got really
brutality hullabaloo and I got really nervous because the stakes are really
nervous because the stakes are really high you know and I was literally
high you know and I was literally getting nervous backstage and I said to
getting nervous backstage and I said to myself this is so exciting I have an
myself this is so exciting I have an opportunity to talk to a group of people
opportunity to talk to a group of people who can actually affect change in this
who can actually affect change in this country this is really exciting now I
country this is really exciting now I could have said the same thing I’m so
could have said the same thing I’m so nervous I’m about to talk to people who
nervous I’m about to talk to people who could but the interpretation was
could but the interpretation was excitement just changed the narrative it
excitement just changed the narrative it works brilliantly well I should give
works brilliantly well I should give shorter answers we got a lot of
shorter answers we got a lot of questions before the event about the
questions before the event about the relationship of an artist to time and I
relationship of an artist to time and I you are someone who is currently working
you are someone who is currently working on
on Deadline so you can relate how when you
Deadline so you can relate how when you are a person who wants to create
are a person who wants to create something and then someone says great
something and then someone says great please create this for me it’s due on
please create this for me it’s due on such-and-such a day can you just talk
such-and-such a day can you just talk about what that relationship is like and
about what that relationship is like and how you manage it I think some people
how you manage it I think some people are better at it and some people are
are better at it and some people are worse at I don’t think there’s a
worse at I don’t think there’s a universal answer for this one you know I
universal answer for this one you know I really admire artists anybody that have
really admire artists anybody that have discipline you know so I know writers
discipline you know so I know writers people ask me what’s your writing
people ask me what’s your writing process because you know do ghosts
process because you know do ghosts because some writers treat it like a job
because some writers treat it like a job they write from 9:00 to 5:00 some
they write from 9:00 to 5:00 some artists treated as a goal and when write
artists treated as a goal and when write 2500 words day even if what I write is
2500 words day even if what I write is crap right
crap right I do neither of those things but just
I do neither of those things but just doesn’t work for me I’ve tried it just
doesn’t work for me I’ve tried it just doesn’t work my process is days of guilt
doesn’t work my process is days of guilt and self-loathing punctuated by hours of
and self-loathing punctuated by hours of sheer brilliance and I don’t know in
sheer brilliance and I don’t know in those hours and I don’t know when
those hours and I don’t know when there’s hours strike
that’s my process I think the the relationship with with time is you know
relationship with with time is you know it’s like you know who helped me on this
it’s like you know who helped me on this and I can I can empathize I can relate
and I can I can empathize I can relate because of my sophomore work you know
because of my sophomore work you know because we spend somebody asked me how
because we spend somebody asked me how long did it take you to write start with
long did it take you to write start with Y which was my first book and my answer
Y which was my first book and my answer was every day of my life up until that
was every day of my life up until that day right the problem is with your
day right the problem is with your second work it’s like okay you have a
second work it’s like okay you have a year but it took me every day of my life
year but it took me every day of my life up until that day to write the first one
up until that day to write the first one I I’m not sure I can do it in a year and
I I’m not sure I can do it in a year and people would always ask me you know I
people would always ask me you know I think they were being they’re trying to
think they were being they’re trying to be helpful but they would say things to
be helpful but they would say things to me like how are you going to do a second
me like how are you going to do a second TED talk as famous as the first one how
TED talk as famous as the first one how are you gonna write a second book as
are you gonna write a second book as good as the first one it’s like thank
good as the first one it’s like thank you thank you thank you thank you and it
you thank you thank you thank you and it was actually Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED
was actually Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk that helped me she gave this
talk that helped me she gave this wonderful TED talk where she talked
wonderful TED talk where she talked about the concept of genius right where
about the concept of genius right where prior to the I think was the Renaissance
prior to the I think was the Renaissance probably was the Renaissance prior to
probably was the Renaissance prior to the Renaissance the or maybe probably
the Renaissance the or maybe probably just doing the Renaissance the the
just doing the Renaissance the the concept of genius was a daemon that
concept of genius was a daemon that lived in the walls so if somebody
lived in the walls so if somebody produced a marvelous work we would say
produced a marvelous work we would say of them he had his genius his genius was
of them he had his genius his genius was with him and if there was a flop they
with him and if there was a flop they would say she didn’t have her genius her
would say she didn’t have her genius her genius wasn’t there right so you could
genius wasn’t there right so you could never take full credit for your success
never take full credit for your success but you never had to beat yourself up so
but you never had to beat yourself up so much if you had a failure either and
much if you had a failure either and somewhere along the line the genius that
somewhere along the line the genius that you had became the genius that you are
you had became the genius that you are she’s a genius and for their for their
she’s a genius and for their for their profound work that they produced and now
profound work that they produced and now you have to live up to that and the
you have to live up to that and the stress of living up to being a genius
stress of living up to being a genius because the one thing that you did that
because the one thing that you did that none of us really know how
none of us really know how we did it because it was largely
we did it because it was largely accidental even though we take all the
accidental even though we take all the credit is the stress is overwhelming the
credit is the stress is overwhelming the stress is overwhelming and then you add
stress is overwhelming and then you add deadlines in the rest of it so I thank
deadlines in the rest of it so I thank goodness learn that lesson before I
goodness learn that lesson before I started my second work and was at
started my second work and was at complete peace with the fact that I had
complete peace with the fact that I had an inspiration not that I was inspired
an inspiration not that I was inspired or I am inspired when I produced my
or I am inspired when I produced my first work and was totally comfortable
first work and was totally comfortable that I would not produce a second work
that I would not produce a second work as good as the first I
as good as the first I I removed the comparison and my only
I removed the comparison and my only goal was to produce as good a work as
goal was to produce as good a work as that work could be irrespective of the
that work could be irrespective of the other work I wasn’t trying to make this
other work I wasn’t trying to make this work better than that work I wasn’t
work better than that work I wasn’t trying to make this work as good as that
trying to make this work as good as that work I was trying to make this work the
work I was trying to make this work the best work it could be by its own
best work it could be by its own standards and its own metrics in fact
standards and its own metrics in fact the techniques that I used to write the
the techniques that I used to write the first one I had completely different
first one I had completely different techniques to write the second one all
techniques to write the second one all the things that I relied on that helped
the things that I relied on that helped me stay productive and the first thing
me stay productive and the first thing they didn’t even work in the second one
they didn’t even work in the second one so I had to invent entirely new systems
so I had to invent entirely new systems to help me produce be productive in the
to help me produce be productive in the second one it literally was an entirely
second one it literally was an entirely different experience with zero stress of
different experience with zero stress of comparison so I think time is the same
comparison so I think time is the same thing by the way my first book was
thing by the way my first book was exactly on time I literally handed my
exactly on time I literally handed my manuscript in on the day apparently
manuscript in on the day apparently that’s a big deal apparently nobody does
that’s a big deal apparently nobody does that I didn’t know that was my first
that I didn’t know that was my first book nobody told me that nobody really
book nobody told me that nobody really hands it in on time but I did literally
hands it in on time but I did literally on the day my second book was a year
on the day my second book was a year late because I had to write a good book
late because I had to write a good book based on his own standards and I
based on his own standards and I couldn’t do it in the timeframe now I’m
couldn’t do it in the timeframe now I’m the first to admit I’m the first to
the first to admit I’m the first to admit that when you write ones book that
admit that when you write ones book that sells exceptionally well the publisher
sells exceptionally well the publisher is much more patient with the second one
is much more patient with the second one I get that Susan Cain took six years to
I get that Susan Cain took six years to write the book quiets her first book six
write the book quiets her first book six years right she’s working on another
years right she’s working on another book it’s probably gonna take her six
book it’s probably gonna take her six years she knows that she’s okay with
years she knows that she’s okay with that but like I said before I’m gonna
that but like I said before I’m gonna refer back to the answer I gave before
refer back to the answer I gave before remember I said there’s two ways to
remember I said there’s two ways to manage a career you stand for what you
manage a career you stand for what you stand for him people either by entered
stand for him people either by entered or don’t it’s much harder you’re gonna
or don’t it’s much harder you’re gonna get fewer parts but my goodness my
get fewer parts but my goodness my goodness when you get them or you bend
goodness when you get them or you bend in shape and you play by their rules
in shape and you play by their rules the same goes for this right when you
the same goes for this right when you say to somebody I will work
say to somebody I will work I will produce a really good piece of
I will produce a really good piece of work but the odds are pretty high I’m
work but the odds are pretty high I’m gonna miss the deadline if they’re a
gonna miss the deadline if they’re a deadline driven you won’t get the you
deadline driven you won’t get the you won’t get the job but you feel like I’m
won’t get the job but you feel like I’m gonna do it on the deadline no matter
gonna do it on the deadline no matter what because I want this job you’ll
what because I want this job you’ll produce something I haven’t heard that
produce something I haven’t heard that it made me really good but Susan went in
it made me really good but Susan went in very openly and said I can’t do it in a
very openly and said I can’t do it in a year I’m not going to do it in a year
year I’m not going to do it in a year there’s no insecurity I’m not gonna do
there’s no insecurity I’m not gonna do it in a year you’ll have the book when
it in a year you’ll have the book when I’m done with it hopefully there will be
I’m done with it hopefully there will be a few years but you’ll get it when it’s
a few years but you’ll get it when it’s done and they went well okay
done and they went well okay that’s my point they bought into her not
that’s my point they bought into her not the deadline right not better or worse
the deadline right not better or worse there’s not better where some publishers
there’s not better where some publishers can afford that and some publishers just
can afford that and some publishers just you need to produce books and they
you need to produce books and they understand that sometimes they put
understand that sometimes they put out onto the marketplace but hey look at
out onto the marketplace but hey look at how many books we got on the market
how many books we got on the market they’re playing a numbers game it’s a
they’re playing a numbers game it’s a different business model but Susan made
different business model but Susan made the decision to to be that kind of
the decision to to be that kind of writer assuming that I meet my deadline
writer assuming that I meet my deadline it’ll be out in October amazingly I
it’ll be out in October amazingly I think this is so funny about modern book
think this is so funny about modern book selling you can actually buy my book on
selling you can actually buy my book on Amazon it’s called the infinite game and
Amazon it’s called the infinite game and I haven’t even finished writing it I
I haven’t even finished writing it I think that’s so fantastically funny but
think that’s so fantastically funny but yes you can buy it it is it’s not even
yes you can buy it it is it’s not even the right cover but it’s a cover yes you
the right cover but it’s a cover yes you have behind you there was a question yes
yeah yeah cuz you know what they did wrong yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
wrong yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so the question was the question was so
so the question was the question was so she’s a singer-songwriter but you still
she’s a singer-songwriter but you still perform other people’s works and you
perform other people’s works and you have frustration sometimes when you
have frustration sometimes when you perform other people’s works because you
perform other people’s works because you could do it better you would have done
could do it better you would have done it differently right
it differently right and I think I think to do both things
and I think I think to do both things you have to be able to separate them
you have to be able to separate them right which is you you have to be able
right which is you you have to be able to say I’m a creator and I’m a Terp and
to say I’m a creator and I’m a Terp and I’m an interpreter and you create when
I’m an interpreter and you create when it’s time to create new interpret it’s
it’s time to create new interpret it’s time to interpret it’s unfair to you but
time to interpret it’s unfair to you but it’s also unfair to the other creator
it’s also unfair to the other creator for you to come in and judge their work
for you to come in and judge their work based on your creative standards just as
based on your creative standards just as when you give your creations to someone
when you give your creations to someone else to perform you don’t need them or
else to perform you don’t need them or want them to judge your work if you
want them to judge your work if you don’t like the work they don’t sing it
don’t like the work they don’t sing it so and again you may have two parallel
so and again you may have two parallel paths which is I’m going to be this kind
paths which is I’m going to be this kind of artist for my creation of them being
of artist for my creation of them being this kind of artist for my
this kind of artist for my interpretation but you kind of I mean I
interpretation but you kind of I mean I mean
have at it I mean have at it but yeah yeah and my
I mean have at it but yeah yeah and my question is why do you want the Grammy
question is why do you want the Grammy why do you want the Tony what happens
why do you want the Tony what happens once you get the Grammy you only want
once you get the Grammy you only want one Grammy you’re okay with one Grammy
one Grammy you’re okay with one Grammy you only want one Grammy just to say it
you only want one Grammy just to say it did it how many’s how many’s a ton is
did it how many’s how many’s a ton is that four is that five is a ten who has
that four is that five is a ten who has the most
the most how many Grammys what person got that
how many Grammys what person got that much do you want that do you want more
much do you want that do you want more than that
than that why okay okay so what point doesn’t run
why okay okay so what point doesn’t run out just a mysterious but how many grand
out just a mysterious but how many grand is you have to win before you switch I
think that you will you I admire your your passion and your gusto I do I love
your passion and your gusto I do I love it and you have that drive and I think
it and you have that drive and I think you’ll be very surprised how how after
you’ll be very surprised how how after the first Grammy the insecurity starts
the first Grammy the insecurity starts to set in that you never had prior okay
to set in that you never had prior okay because because you you will get to the
because because you you will get to the point where you can no longer judge your
point where you can no longer judge your work based on its own merits for
work based on its own merits for yourself you now want everybody else to
yourself you now want everybody else to judge your work for you because that’s
judge your work for you because that’s really what a granny is
don’t compare it’s where your talent lies right Michael Sheehan malleable who
lies right Michael Sheehan malleable who is he good Doug I mean really really
is he good Doug I mean really really good right
there are brilliant brilliant artists sometimes we don’t know who they are
sometimes we don’t know who they are like most people don’t know their names
like most people don’t know their names because they play so many roles so
because they play so many roles so differently gary oldman valuable artists
differently gary oldman valuable artists Wow
Wow the best one of the best what’s his name
the best one of the best what’s his name Daniel day-lewis I mean have you ever
Daniel day-lewis I mean have you ever seen two parts look the same never one
seen two parts look the same never one of the best malleable artists I’ve ever
of the best malleable artists I’ve ever seen in my life
seen in my life rub it DeNiro not Somalia ball great if
rub it DeNiro not Somalia ball great if you like that it’s like I said there’s a
you like that it’s like I said there’s a wonderful review I went to see I went to
wonderful review I went to see I went to see a Philip Glass opera and the review
see a Philip Glass opera and the review read the review was great the review
read the review was great the review said it’s the same tune but if you like
said it’s the same tune but if you like that tune it’s brilliant
not malleable right when when when art sounds like itself that’s that kind of
sounds like itself that’s that kind of art when art can be anything it’s a
art when art can be anything it’s a different of art so don’t for one second
different of art so don’t for one second think one is better or worse right there
think one is better or worse right there are great artists who play themselves
are great artists who play themselves every time and they’re great artists who
every time and they’re great artists who play others every single time
well I think so I think whether you’re an interpretive artist or whether you’re
an interpretive artist or whether you’re a create you know your Creator I I think
a create you know your Creator I I think you should always be showing up to be
you should always be showing up to be yourself right it I mean this is the the
yourself right it I mean this is the the horrible term authenticity
horrible term authenticity you know because you never want to be
you know because you never want to be what they want you want to bring your
what they want you want to bring your own interpretation to the part and
own interpretation to the part and hopefully they’ll like it it’s a
hopefully they’ll like it it’s a slightly different mental model no I
slightly different mental model no I mean can you imagine you go on a date
mean can you imagine you go on a date and on your first date you say tell me
and on your first date you say tell me how you would like to meet to be I’m a
how you would like to meet to be I’m a valuable artist I’m very comfortable
valuable artist I’m very comfortable I like pleasing people I like people
I like pleasing people I like people being happy I want you to be happy so
being happy I want you to be happy so I’m going to learn what you like and I’m
I’m going to learn what you like and I’m gonna do that right it’s it’s not a good
gonna do that right it’s it’s not a good way to start a relationship right and I
way to start a relationship right and I think the same goes for any kind of
think the same goes for any kind of piece I I want you to bring yourself to
piece I I want you to bring yourself to it because yourself is the only thing
it because yourself is the only thing that distinguishes you from all the
that distinguishes you from all the other performers because training is is
other performers because training is is a commodity rehearsal as a commodity
a commodity rehearsal as a commodity right your resume is the commodity
right your resume is the commodity everybody’s got a couple of great
everybody’s got a couple of great coaches in a couple of great parts and
coaches in a couple of great parts and everybody fudged a couple you know so if
everybody fudged a couple you know so if everything else is the commodity and the
everything else is the commodity and the only thing that distinguishes you from
only thing that distinguishes you from somebody else is you and I would stick
somebody else is you and I would stick with that it’s probably the only thing
with that it’s probably the only thing you’re good at to which is yourself your
you’re good at to which is yourself your master yeah yeah
master yeah yeah I mean it’s the same in my business you
I mean it’s the same in my business you know there are people who are much
know there are people who are much smarter than me much more disciplined
smarter than me much more disciplined than me have much greater command of
than me have much greater command of like when I quote studies I can’t
like when I quote studies I can’t remember the studies I was like there
remember the studies I was like there was a study they did a study you know
was a study they did a study you know they who do all the studies you know and
they who do all the studies you know and I’ll stand on the stage of legs and I’ll
I’ll stand on the stage of legs and I’ll fudge I’ll like get the numbers wrong
fudge I’ll like get the numbers wrong I’ll be like 80% is like 75% and there’s
I’ll be like 80% is like 75% and there’s a friend of mine who’s in the same who
a friend of mine who’s in the same who does the similar work who knows every
does the similar work who knows every study and be like so a Stanford study in
study and be like so a Stanford study in 1989 they found out that 79.6% and I was
1989 they found out that 79.6% and I was like and he and he thinks it gives him
like and he and he thinks it gives him more credibility he thinks you have to
more credibility he thinks you have to be able to do that cuz it gives
be able to do that cuz it gives credibility and it does I just wish I
credibility and it does I just wish I could remember it because I can write
could remember it because I can write and it drives him up the wall that I
and it drives him up the wall that I can’t like they did a study and like
can’t like they did a study and like something like this with like about 80%
something like this with like about 80% I think something like that should go
I think something like that should go check yourselves and and it drives him
check yourselves and and it drives him nuts but that’s kind of just who I am
nuts but that’s kind of just who I am and I’m at peace with it you know
and I’m at peace with it you know so what distinguishes me from him is not
so what distinguishes me from him is not that I’m trying to do
that I’m trying to do I really should remember the names of
I really should remember the names of the studies and I really should he was
the studies and I really should he was kind of you know unless I wrote him down
kind of you know unless I wrote him down and I don’t like doing notes unless I
and I don’t like doing notes unless I put them in a PowerPoint and I refused
put them in a PowerPoint and I refused to do that so so my style is a little
to do that so so my style is a little more casual a little more relaxed I
more casual a little more relaxed I could get all the data right if I put it
could get all the data right if I put it up on a slide I’d never get it wrong but
up on a slide I’d never get it wrong but I sacrifice the accuracy for this that’s
I sacrifice the accuracy for this that’s my choice it’s not better or worse it’s
my choice it’s not better or worse it’s my choice right side of the room less
my choice right side of the room less that a room is showing you up just just
that a room is showing you up just just saying all the questions are coming from
saying all the questions are coming from the left side of the room
yes I think there’s a couple of reasons the question is when I talk about what
the question is when I talk about what you’re doing why you do it that the your
you’re doing why you do it that the your inclination was that artist is so in
inclination was that artist is so in touch with their feelings they
touch with their feelings they inherently would understand the why but
inherently would understand the why but what you’ve learned is they don’t is
what you’ve learned is they don’t is that okay why is that I think there’s a
that okay why is that I think there’s a couple of reasons I think one of the
couple of reasons I think one of the reasons is goes back to community which
reasons is goes back to community which is you don’t help each other you don’t
is you don’t help each other you don’t talk to each other it doesn’t come out
talk to each other it doesn’t come out and because you don’t get to have that
and because you don’t get to have that depth of conversation with somebody
depth of conversation with somebody about this kind of stuff what are you
about this kind of stuff what are you gonna do it yourself you know like when
gonna do it yourself you know like when we do why discoveries for anybody is
we do why discoveries for anybody is it’s it’s at least a pair right we we
it’s it’s at least a pair right we we strongly recommend people do it with
strongly recommend people do it with someone that’s better it works better so
someone that’s better it works better so I think part of that is community you’ve
I think part of that is community you’ve actually though you may be in touch with
actually though you may be in touch with your feelings I don’t think you’ve ever
your feelings I don’t think you’ve ever gone to the depths you need to go to
gone to the depths you need to go to understand what your why is which is a
understand what your why is which is a conversation and somebody else listening
conversation and somebody else listening to you and saying I don’t understand why
to you and saying I don’t understand why did you say this forcing you to go
did you say this forcing you to go deeper right that’s number one and I
deeper right that’s number one and I think number two is dare I say it hubris
think number two is dare I say it hubris a little bit of excessive pride I do
a little bit of excessive pride I do emotions for a living right and so the
emotions for a living right and so the result is is very generic stuff because
result is is very generic stuff because I’ve talked to plenty of artists and
I’ve talked to plenty of artists and asked them do you know your why and they
asked them do you know your why and they with great confidence say of course I
with great confidence say of course I come by white horse and I say what is it
come by white horse and I say what is it what really inspires me is I want to
what really inspires me is I want to entertain people like how many people
entertain people like how many people can tell me that what really inspires me
can tell me that what really inspires me is that I can transport people away from
is that I can transport people away from their stress to another world like that
their stress to another world like that is entirely accurate for the entire
is entirely accurate for the entire discipline
discipline that’s like an airline telling me ry is
that’s like an airline telling me ry is to get people to where they’re going
to get people to where they’re going true but not proprietary it’s good for
true but not proprietary it’s good for the industry so you’re right you’ve
the industry so you’re right you’ve cleverly designed the Y for all
cleverly designed the Y for all entertainment Lane accurate just too
entertainment Lane accurate just too broad and so within all entertainment
broad and so within all entertainment there’s a different Y for music there’s
there’s a different Y for music there’s a different Y for acting there’s
a different Y for acting there’s different Y for dancing is it NY
different Y for dancing is it NY performing there’s a different wife of
performing there’s a different wife of creating Brazil is it all in and then is
creating Brazil is it all in and then is a different way for you and the
a different way for you and the questions that you want to grapple with
questions that you want to grapple with are are what about you what you do is
are are what about you what you do is worth the suffering entertaining people
worth the suffering entertaining people is worth suffering you
is worth suffering you know everything that you go for in
know everything that you go for in survival jobs and living in a tiny
survival jobs and living in a tiny apartment with 12 roommates is worth is
apartment with 12 roommates is worth is worth some banker boy paying $400 for
worth some banker boy paying $400 for ticket to come see you so you
ticket to come see you so you can escape his stress for the day for
can escape his stress for the day for two hours right what is worth
two hours right what is worth what about what you do is so worth the
what about what you do is so worth the sacrifice all right gonna have that
sacrifice all right gonna have that conversation by yourself unlikely but
conversation by yourself unlikely but maybe every last Thursday of every month
maybe every last Thursday of every month another way to get to that answer is to
another way to get to that answer is to find the times in which you did this
find the times in which you did this thing that you fell in love with this
thing that you fell in love with this thing it might have been a commercial
thing it might have been a commercial flop it might have been the worst
flop it might have been the worst experience of your life but for some
experience of your life but for some reason this one specific incident is one
reason this one specific incident is one specific experience exemplifies what I
specific experience exemplifies what I love not like you know do you love your
love not like you know do you love your wife I like her I like her no no do you
wife I like her I like her no no do you love your wife I like her a lot I told
love your wife I like her a lot I told you I liked her a lot like it’s a
you I liked her a lot like it’s a different standard like and love right
different standard like and love right didn’t like the show didn’t like the
didn’t like the show didn’t like the whatever it is you were doing
whatever it is you were doing you loved it find those I’ll give you an
you loved it find those I’ll give you an example so I did some work with the
example so I did some work with the Disney amount
Disney amount years the Disney Imagineers are the ones
years the Disney Imagineers are the ones responsible for everything physical that
responsible for everything physical that Disney makes the boats the parades the
Disney makes the boats the parades the shows the rides the parks the only thing
shows the rides the parks the only thing they don’t touch is merchandising and
they don’t touch is merchandising and the films but everything else is the
the films but everything else is the Imagineers
Imagineers they’re incredible and I went to talk to
they’re incredible and I went to talk to the Imagineers about this concept of why
the Imagineers about this concept of why and I decided a spontaneously to
and I decided a spontaneously to demonstrate it to do an example and I
demonstrate it to do an example and I picked a random person in the audience
picked a random person in the audience one of the Imagineers I picked an older
one of the Imagineers I picked an older guy because I figured he was more seen
guy because I figured he was more seen you’d been around for a while and what I
you’d been around for a while and what I didn’t realize I found out afterwards
didn’t realize I found out afterwards the guy that I picked had a nickname at
the guy that I picked had a nickname at the company his name was ice chips
the company his name was ice chips because he was a cold bastard and people
because he was a cold bastard and people who worked rice chips didn’t like
who worked rice chips didn’t like working for his chips because ice chips
working for his chips because ice chips was hard to work for hard on them and he
was hard to work for hard on them and he NE drove them hard as a cold bastard
NE drove them hard as a cold bastard I picked ice chips so I asked ice chips
I picked ice chips so I asked ice chips can you tell me a specific story can you
can you tell me a specific story can you tell me a specific story that helps me
tell me a specific story that helps me understand what you love about being a
understand what you love about being a Disney Imagineer and he didn’t have to
Disney Imagineer and he didn’t have to think too long and he told me the story
think too long and he told me the story he told took five or six minutes to tell
he told took five or six minutes to tell it was wonderful but here’s the short
it was wonderful but here’s the short version he oversaw the design and build
version he oversaw the design and build of a brand new ride at Disneyland and on
of a brand new ride at Disneyland and on its opening he decided to go to see it
its opening he decided to go to see it run for the first time and he was
run for the first time and he was standing back and watching the parents
standing back and watching the parents and the kids started to line up for the
and the kids started to line up for the ride and in the front of the line in
ride and in the front of the line in there was a guy in a wheelchair and his
there was a guy in a wheelchair and his daughter and he said everywhere in the
daughter and he said everywhere in the world what the world sees is a man in a
world what the world sees is a man in a wheelchair and his daughter he said only
wheelchair and his daughter he said only at Disneyland do we only see a father
at Disneyland do we only see a father and his daughter and it’s the only place
and his daughter and it’s the only place that you can ever go where he will never
that you can ever go where he will never feel like he’s in a
feel like he’s in a chair with his daughter he will feel
chair with his daughter he will feel like he’s just a father with his
like he’s just a father with his daughter and if you know anybody who is
daughter and if you know anybody who is in a wheelchair who’s ever gone to
in a wheelchair who’s ever gone to Disneyland it is one of the best design
Disneyland it is one of the best design parks for handicapped disabled and not
parks for handicapped disabled and not only were we all crying but instantly
only were we all crying but instantly everybody understood why he was so hard
everybody understood why he was so hard because to him those were the stakes
because to him those were the stakes instantly everyone wanted to work for
instantly everyone wanted to work for him instantly
him instantly everyone wanted him to be hard on them
everyone wanted him to be hard on them because they wanted to push to produce
because they wanted to push to produce that level of quality to have that kind
that level of quality to have that kind of impact in the life of another human
of impact in the life of another human being
that’s purpose but he had to go through the process and nobody knew it until he
the process and nobody knew it until he articulated it they they didn’t like him
articulated it they they didn’t like him but once his Y was clear he didn’t have
but once his Y was clear he didn’t have to change a thing he did not have to
to change a thing he did not have to change a thing that’s what Y provides it
change a thing that’s what Y provides it provides context for who you are to your
provides context for who you are to your friends to people you’re auditioning to
friends to people you’re auditioning to they will understand your interpretation
they will understand your interpretation they understand what you’re bringing to
they understand what you’re bringing to the part because you start with Y and
yes you say it it takes a second it takes a
you say it it takes a second it takes a second where’s your name what do you
second where’s your name what do you what’s your name where’d you come from
what’s your name where’d you come from it’s just throw it in there ignore the
it’s just throw it in there ignore the question right I do it every single time
question right I do it every single time I go every meeting I have every meeting
I go every meeting I have every meeting that I call us now let me tell you why
that I call us now let me tell you why I’ve called this meeting every meeting
I’ve called this meeting every meeting that I have I love you let me go why why
that I have I love you let me go why why I wanted to come to this meeting and
I wanted to come to this meeting and I’ll ask it I want to know why you took
I’ll ask it I want to know why you took the meeting to please now you can’t do
the meeting to please now you can’t do that yeah
that yeah but I will say before we get started
but I will say before we get started once you know why I took this meeting I
once you know why I took this meeting I imagine a world that does not yet exist
imagine a world that does not yet exist I imagine a world in which the vast
I imagine a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single
majority of people wake up every single morning inspired feel safe at work and
morning inspired feel safe at work and return home fulfilled at the end of the
return home fulfilled at the end of the day and so I saw the opportunity to have
day and so I saw the opportunity to have this meeting as something that I’d hope
this meeting as something that I’d hope will help me advance that world my name
will help me advance that world my name is simon Sinek and i’m from little love
is simon Sinek and i’m from little love it takes us what that took eight seconds
it takes us what that took eight seconds nobody’s nobody’s ever interrupted me
nobody’s nobody’s ever interrupted me ever and say oh I just want your name or
ever and say oh I just want your name or I could say my why my why is to inspire
I could say my why my why is to inspire people to do the things that inspire
people to do the things that inspire them so together each of us can change
them so together each of us can change our world for the better everything I do
our world for the better everything I do is singularly devoted to that I’m hoping
is singularly devoted to that I’m hoping that this affords me the opportunity to
that this affords me the opportunity to bring that to life what is that six
bring that to life what is that six seconds now you know exactly who I am
seconds now you know exactly who I am you know exactly what I’m gonna bring if
you know exactly what I’m gonna bring if you don’t want it you’re not gonna hire
you don’t want it you’re not gonna hire me if you do want to give me a chance
me if you do want to give me a chance every single time it’s never failed me
every single time it’s never failed me and I use it as my own filter to write
and I use it as my own filter to write because it’s always in my head so back
because it’s always in my head so back in the early days I often get accused
in the early days I often get accused that I that I have the luxury of being
that I that I have the luxury of being able to turn down things I’ve been
able to turn down things I’ve been turning down things before I could
turning down things before I could afford to I had no money in the bank
afford to I had no money in the bank literally hand you know hand to mouth I
literally hand you know hand to mouth I was eat it as a living and yet I would
was eat it as a living and yet I would turn down business because it didn’t
turn down business because it didn’t feel right didn’t it wasn’t right I
feel right didn’t it wasn’t right I chose a different path I chose this path
chose a different path I chose this path much more difficult right
true story guy calls me up he says I got your name from someone who hired you and
your name from someone who hired you and spoke very highly of you thank you I’ve
spoke very highly of you thank you I’ve heard about your work thank you
heard about your work thank you convince me why I should hire you my
convince me why I should hire you my answer don’t what I’m not the right guy
answer don’t what I’m not the right guy for you which is what my polite was
for you which is what my polite was saying you’re not the right guy for me
saying you’re not the right guy for me I’m not right for this part I’m the
I’m not right for this part I’m the wrong one to this part I’m sorry I’m not
wrong one to this part I’m sorry I’m not right I bowed out of things all the time
right I bowed out of things all the time always saying I’m it’s not me which is
always saying I’m it’s not me which is true because I want I want this the ones
true because I want I want this the ones I loved were the people who said you’re
I loved were the people who said you’re onto something I don’t think it’s
onto something I don’t think it’s perfect I don’t think you have all the
perfect I don’t think you have all the answers I think there’s some flaws of
answers I think there’s some flaws of what you’re doing but I think you’re on
what you’re doing but I think you’re on to something with a little grin okay I
to something with a little grin okay I want to work with you they’re buying my
want to work with you they’re buying my why they’re ready told me buy what’s
why they’re ready told me buy what’s flawed but that takes huge discipline
flawed but that takes huge discipline and let me tell you it does get very
and let me tell you it does get very hard and you can compromise now and then
hard and you can compromise now and then for practical reasons I got it bills to
for practical reasons I got it bills to pay I got it I got it
pay I got it I got it I’m an idealist I know reality exists
I’m an idealist I know reality exists but you can’t do it too often like when
but you can’t do it too often like when you’re getting into shape like if you
you’re getting into shape like if you exercise a lot you can have chocolate
exercise a lot you can have chocolate cake knock yourself out
cake knock yourself out you just kind of do too often every now
you just kind of do too often every now and then a little bit of out of balance
and then a little bit of out of balance it’s okay
yes right side of the room just saying just saying yes okay so the first
just saying yes okay so the first question was remind me yes
question was remind me yes how do you deal with an evolving sense
how do you deal with an evolving sense of why self growth and all the rest of
of why self growth and all the rest of it okay you only have one why okay
it okay you only have one why okay you’re why was fully formed probably in
you’re why was fully formed probably in your mid to late teens it is the sum
your mid to late teens it is the sum total of who you are how you were raised
total of who you are how you were raised the experiences you had when you were
the experiences you had when you were younger it is who you are the rest of
younger it is who you are the rest of your life simply offers you
your life simply offers you opportunities to live in balance or out
opportunities to live in balance or out of balance with that why the earlier you
of balance with that why the earlier you learn it the more likely you can manage
learn it the more likely you can manage the opportunities you say yes and no to
the opportunities you say yes and no to so that you remain in balance right so
so that you remain in balance right so your why has never changed ever
your why has never changed ever you only have one what you’re talking
you only have one what you’re talking about is different things that you’re
about is different things that you’re doing to bring your Y to life I’ve had a
doing to bring your Y to life I’ve had a few careers I had great passion for all
few careers I had great passion for all of them at various times and even this
of them at various times and even this journey that I’m on with this concept of
journey that I’m on with this concept of Y has changed multiple times what I’m
Y has changed multiple times what I’m doing has evolved many times the what is
doing has evolved many times the what is very malleable and flexible but the Y
very malleable and flexible but the Y that’s underlying it’s always been there
that’s underlying it’s always been there it’s always been there so you only have
it’s always been there so you only have one Y okay and the self growth is be
one Y okay and the self growth is be coming to terms with it and making sure
coming to terms with it and making sure that you’re making decisions that keep
that you’re making decisions that keep you in balance that’s the growth that’s
you in balance that’s the growth that’s the good you get and that’s an ongoing
the good you get and that’s an ongoing process no one’s perfect at it you get
process no one’s perfect at it you get better and better and better at it
better and better and better at it right
right you can keep reinventing yourself as
you can keep reinventing yourself as long as you can you can reinvent you can
long as you can you can reinvent you can reinvent it to yourself as long as it’s
reinvent it to yourself as long as it’s consistent with why you do what you do
consistent with why you do what you do yeah you can do different things as long
yeah you can do different things as long as it’s consistent and you find that
as it’s consistent and you find that that new thing actually does allow you
that new thing actually does allow you to to bring your Y to life that’s that’s
to to bring your Y to life that’s that’s great and the your second question was
great and the your second question was what how the how the infinite game
what how the how the infinite game relates to the Y how and what yeah sure
relates to the Y how and what yeah sure yeah yeah okay so my my my work is
yeah yeah okay so my my my work is semi-autobiographical my work is about a
semi-autobiographical my work is about a journey it’s my journey it just so
journey it’s my journey it just so happens there are other human beings out
happens there are other human beings out there on similar human journeys just so
there on similar human journeys just so happens thank goodness so why is where I
happens thank goodness so why is where I started why is about knowing why you do
started why is about knowing why you do what you do it’s this higher sense of
what you do it’s this higher sense of purpose cause or belief and it’s the
purpose cause or belief and it’s the thing that attracts people to you and
thing that attracts people to you and attracts you to people right the problem
attracts you to people right the problem is what happens once you’ve been
is what happens once you’ve been attracted to all the people that people
attracted to all the people that people are attracted to you that’s when I wrote
are attracted to you that’s when I wrote leader Z last now that you got the
leader Z last now that you got the people what do you do with the people
people what do you do with the people how do you make an environment in which
how do you make an environment in which people love and trust each other is it
people love and trust each other is it them or is it the environment turns out
them or is it the environment turns out it’s the environment get the environment
it’s the environment get the environment right you get trust and cooperation get
right you get trust and cooperation get the environment wrong you get cynicism
the environment wrong you get cynicism paranoia mistrust and self-interest it’s
paranoia mistrust and self-interest it’s not the people it’s the environment okay
not the people it’s the environment okay so now you got this amazing team and
so now you got this amazing team and everybody loves each other but the
everybody loves each other but the problem is you work in reality and the
problem is you work in reality and the world doesn’t care about your why and
world doesn’t care about your why and the world doesn’t care about your team
the world doesn’t care about your team they only care about themselves and what
they only care about themselves and what they get and what they want
they get and what they want so how was an idealist supposed to
so how was an idealist supposed to operate in reality and that’s where the
operate in reality and that’s where the the construction of the finite infinite
the construction of the finite infinite game has helped me understand and manage
game has helped me understand and manage how I go through reality so I’m not just
how I go through reality so I’m not just a an idiot with his head in the clouds
a an idiot with his head in the clouds I’m also an idiot with his feet on the
I’m also an idiot with his feet on the ground
and that’s what the that’s what it is so the concept of why there’s five things
the concept of why there’s five things that you need to play the infinite game
that you need to play the infinite game right just cause courageous leadership
right just cause courageous leadership vulnerable team worthy adversary and in
vulnerable team worthy adversary and in a flexible playbook right so the first
a flexible playbook right so the first one just cause that’s why that’s the why
one just cause that’s why that’s the why but just you have to have a why to play
but just you have to have a why to play the infinite game then courageous
the infinite game then courageous leadership you have to the courage to do
leadership you have to the courage to do it say yes and no two things
it say yes and no two things say yes to difficult things where’s my
say yes to difficult things where’s my friend with the visualization say yes
friend with the visualization say yes difficult things and say no to things
difficult things and say no to things that you know were wrong even though
that you know were wrong even though they may look good on paper we do that
they may look good on paper we do that with people all the time right and the
with people all the time right and the third thing vole neural team that’s the
third thing vole neural team that’s the circle of safety that’s leaders eat last
circle of safety that’s leaders eat last then you add in a worthy adversary
then you add in a worthy adversary okay we’re the adversaries about
okay we’re the adversaries about respecting the people in your industry
respecting the people in your industry your competitors respecting them not
your competitors respecting them not hating them because what you’re worthy
hating them because what you’re worthy adversaries do what those people in that
adversaries do what those people in that audition room do is they reveal to you
audition room do is they reveal to you all your weaknesses
[Music] that’s why we get insecure that’s why we
that’s why we get insecure that’s why we hate people we hate the people we hate
hate people we hate the people we hate the people who reveal to us our
the people who reveal to us our insecurities they make us feel bad about
insecurities they make us feel bad about ourselves right so it’s not them it’s
ourselves right so it’s not them it’s you right
you right and that’s good because that’s a worthy
and that’s good because that’s a worthy adversary because we don’t run our best
adversary because we don’t run our best times when we run around a track by
times when we run around a track by ourselves
ourselves that’s if you only went to auditions by
that’s if you only went to auditions by yourself you’d actually never improve
yourself you’d actually never improve because you have nothing to judge
because you have nothing to judge against we run our best times we run in
against we run our best times we run in a race now if your entire goal is to
a race now if your entire goal is to undermine the competitor of your entire
undermine the competitor of your entire goals to beat your competition you can
goals to beat your competition you can shoot your competitor in the race and
shoot your competitor in the race and you will get the part you will win the
you will get the part you will win the race but you’ll still be a slow runner
race but you’ll still be a slow runner or or you lose the race and you learn
or or you lose the race and you learn why they ran the RET why they won the
why they ran the RET why they won the race you learn your weaknesses I’m bad
race you learn your weaknesses I’m bad in the straightaway good it turns bad in
in the straightaway good it turns bad in a straightaway I’m only going to
a straightaway I’m only going to practice the straightaway I’m better at
practice the straightaway I’m better at sprinting I’m no good at distance
sprinting I’m no good at distance whatever it is and you work harder and
whatever it is and you work harder and harder because the only true competitor
harder because the only true competitor in an infinite game is yourself everyone
in an infinite game is yourself everyone else there is to reveal your weaknesses
else there is to reveal your weaknesses to you so you can find the areas in
to you so you can find the areas in which you can improve I’m susceptible to
which you can improve I’m susceptible to it there is there’s another author out
it there is there’s another author out there that I hate I hate I hate him and
there that I hate I hate I hate him and when I look at my my book ranking on
when I look at my my book ranking on Amazon I don’t look at anything else my
Amazon I don’t look at anything else my book ranking and his no one else just
book ranking and his no one else just the two of us and when mines up I’m like
and when mine when he’s ahead of me and like doesn’t deserve it
like doesn’t deserve it now he’s super smart he’s super good at
now he’s super smart he’s super good at what he does he’s really compelling I
what he does he’s really compelling I intellectually I know he’s really good
intellectually I know he’s really good but I hate him so we were invited to
but I hate him so we were invited to speak on the same stage and the
speak on the same stage and the interviewer said to us why don’t you
interviewer said to us why don’t you guys introduce each other and he said
guys introduce each other and he said I’ll go first
I’ll go first Simon so now I had to go first because
Simon so now I had to go first because he was being funny I’m like funny here’s
he was being funny I’m like funny here’s what I said to the audience I turned to
what I said to the audience I turned to him in front of the audience and I said
him in front of the audience and I said you make me really insecure I said
you make me really insecure I said because all of your strengths are all of
because all of your strengths are all of my weaknesses and he turned to me he
my weaknesses and he turned to me he said funny I feel the same about you we
said funny I feel the same about you we are now close friends we love each other
are now close friends we love each other I love it when his book is doing better
I love it when his book is doing better than mine I love it when his careers on
than mine I love it when his careers on fire I love it when people bring up his
fire I love it when people bring up his name I’m proud of him and I want his
name I’m proud of him and I want his work out there because I came to terms
work out there because I came to terms with the fact that it was never him oh
with the fact that it was never him oh the open playbook the fourth was the
the open playbook the fourth was the worthy adversary and the Flast one is
worthy adversary and the Flast one is the flexible playbook of the open
the flexible playbook of the open playbook the flexible playbook means
playbook the flexible playbook means that the the just cause is fixed but the
that the the just cause is fixed but the path you take to get there must be
path you take to get there must be flexible so going to my
flexible so going to my singer-songwriter friend in the back the
singer-songwriter friend in the back the path you take is flexible you can bring
path you take is flexible you can bring your cause to life in it any way you
your cause to life in it any way you want it’s the people who say I’m only a
want it’s the people who say I’m only a singer and so they only take singing
singer and so they only take singing parts and they close the opportunity to
parts and they close the opportunity to do things that would inspire them and
do things that would inspire them and inspire others and force them to work
inspire others and force them to work really hard at something that they’re
really hard at something that they’re not already good at because they haven’t
not already good at because they haven’t been in practicing for 20 years because
been in practicing for 20 years because they’ve got a fixed path and the cause
they’ve got a fixed path and the cause becomes malleable was like through and
becomes malleable was like through and they justify it as opposed to saying my
they justify it as opposed to saying my cause is fixed and I’ll take whatever
cause is fixed and I’ll take whatever path I need to take to advance my why so
path I need to take to advance my why so I’ve learned this right I am NOT a
I’ve learned this right I am NOT a public speaker but I do a lot of public
public speaker but I do a lot of public speaking I’m not an author but I’ve
speaking I’m not an author but I’ve written a bunch of books I refuse to
written a bunch of books I refuse to define myself by what I do at the time
define myself by what I do at the time that I did those things or at the time
that I did those things or at the time that I choose to do those things those
that I choose to do those things those are the things that I have decided our
are the things that I have decided our good ways for me to advance my message
good ways for me to advance my message in my cause and if I stop speaking
in my cause and if I stop speaking publicly my self-identity is totally
publicly my self-identity is totally fine
fine like we all have friends who are doctors
like we all have friends who are doctors and bankers and one another and when
and bankers and one another and when they stop doing that thing they
they stop doing that thing they literally they lose their self-identity
literally they lose their self-identity we wrapped too much of our identity in
we wrapped too much of our identity in what we do rather than define ourselves
what we do rather than define ourselves as devoted to a cause bigger than
as devoted to a cause bigger than ourselves was Martin Luther King a
ourselves was Martin Luther King a public speaker or was he a man devoted
public speaker or was he a man devoted to a cause of course is the boat’ll
to a cause of course is the boat’ll cause I choose to live a life devoted to
cause I choose to live a life devoted to a cause define myself by none of those
a cause define myself by none of those things to the point I’m actually a
things to the point I’m actually a bastard about it to the point like when
bastard about it to the point like when I blur books right they always write it
I blur books right they always write it was the best book I ever read right and
was the best book I ever read right and then underneath it’ll say simon Sinek
then underneath it’ll say simon Sinek and there does not a you do for other
and there does not a you do for other people
people CEO blah blah blah best-selling author
CEO blah blah blah best-selling author blah blah blah right that’s a the
blah blah blah right that’s a the credibility that’s why they do it right
credibility that’s why they do it right and I’m a bastard about it I make them
and I’m a bastard about it I make them right this is the best book I ever read
right this is the best book I ever read simon Sinek
simon Sinek optimist and author of author always
optimist and author of author always comes second optimist comes first
comes second optimist comes first because if I stopped writing books and
because if I stopped writing books and still an optimist my identity is wrapped
still an optimist my identity is wrapped into why I do what I do not what I did
into why I do what I do not what I did so that’s what the open that’s what the
so that’s what the open that’s what the flexible playbook means it means that
flexible playbook means it means that you’re open to the fact that there may
you’re open to the fact that there may be paths that are different to the one
be paths that are different to the one that you’re on and those paths if you
that you’re on and those paths if you choose to take them may be extremely
choose to take them may be extremely difficult to do to be one silly example
difficult to do to be one silly example so Steve Jobs had a very clear sense of
so Steve Jobs had a very clear sense of purpose a very clear sense of cause
purpose a very clear sense of cause which is to give the individual the
which is to give the individual the power to stand up to big brother right
power to stand up to big brother right he loved that and he saw the personal
he loved that and he saw the personal computer is the great way to do that
computer is the great way to do that right that an individual could compete
right that an individual could compete against a corporation how cool is it
against a corporation how cool is it that right
that right and he’s already a famous CEO they’ve
and he’s already a famous CEO they’ve had success with the Apple one they’ve
had success with the Apple one they’ve had success with the Apple 2 and their
had success with the Apple 2 and their next product it’s called the Lisa right
next product it’s called the Lisa right that’s their next big product now
that’s their next big product now coincidentally at the same time that
coincidentally at the same time that they were developing the Lisa Jobs in a
they were developing the Lisa Jobs in a bunch of the senior executives went to
bunch of the senior executives went to visit Xerox and Xerox showed them a new
visit Xerox and Xerox showed them a new product that they invented called the
product that they invented called the graphic user interface the new
graphic user interface the new technology and jobs as he’s leaving
technology and jobs as he’s leaving Xerox
Xerox says to his guys we have to invest in
says to his guys we have to invest in this this is way better than what we’re
this this is way better than what we’re doing this is a leapfrog of what we’re
doing this is a leapfrog of what we’re doing people don’t have to learn a
doing people don’t have to learn a computer language they can just move a
computer language they can just move a mouse on the screen that means even more
mouse on the screen that means even more people could take down the man we have
people could take down the man we have to invest in this graphic user interface
to invest in this graphic user interface thing and his guy said Steve are you
thing and his guy said Steve are you crazy we’ve already invested millions of
crazy we’ve already invested millions of dollars in countless man-hours in the
dollars in countless man-hours in the Lisa we can’t walk away from it if we do
Lisa we can’t walk away from it if we do that we’ll blow up our own company to
that we’ll blow up our own company to which jobs replies better we should blow
which jobs replies better we should blow it up than someone else that decision
it up than someone else that decision was the Macintosh a computer platform
was the Macintosh a computer platform that profoundly changes computing as we
that profoundly changes computing as we know it the entire software of Windows
know it the entire software of Windows designed to mimic a Macintosh that’s a
designed to mimic a Macintosh that’s a flexible playbook that’s a man with a
flexible playbook that’s a man with a fixed cause and an open path which means
fixed cause and an open path which means you might have devoted thousands of
you might have devoted thousands of dollars and countless years becoming X
dollars and countless years becoming X except that’s better and you’re gonna
except that’s better and you’re gonna have to learn a whole new discipline and
have to learn a whole new discipline and we’ve really hard work and you’re gonna
we’ve really hard work and you’re gonna walk away yeah if but it’s not random
walk away yeah if but it’s not random and it’s not opportunistic it’s not
and it’s not opportunistic it’s not because I think I can make more money
because I think I can make more money here it’s because I found a better path
here it’s because I found a better path that will help you advance my cause
but technically we’re done yeah but I’ll keep going if you want we’ll do a little
keep going if you want we’ll do a little more I think should we take any
more I think should we take any questions from Facebook or did that not
questions from Facebook or did that not work out ok ok let’s do a couple
work out ok ok let’s do a couple Facebook questions if you if you guys
Facebook questions if you if you guys need to leave technically we’re done and
need to leave technically we’re done and you need to leave you can leave I won’t
you need to leave you can leave I won’t be offended oh I have to say goodbye to
be offended oh I have to say goodbye to you cuz you’re going away for a week
you cuz you’re going away for a week come here no you have come here have a
come here no you have come here have a wonderful wonderful holiday thanks so
wonderful wonderful holiday thanks so much yeah if you need to go that’s fine
much yeah if you need to go that’s fine I’ll just keep going for those who want
I’ll just keep going for those who want to stay okay so what are certain
to stay okay so what are certain techniques we can use to go back to our
techniques we can use to go back to our authentic state when we what when we
authentic state when we what when we feel like we can’t show our authentic
feel like we can’t show our authentic state who there’s a lot going on on that
state who there’s a lot going on on that one well we don’t okay we how do we get
one well we don’t okay we how do we get back to our authentic state we don’t
back to our authentic state we don’t feel like we can show so have you lost
feel like we can show so have you lost it
it so authenticity and I don’t like the
so authenticity and I don’t like the word is let’s because nobody really
word is let’s because nobody really knows what it means so authentic
knows what it means so authentic what authenticity means is that you say
what authenticity means is that you say and do the things you actually believe
and do the things you actually believe that’s it that’s all it means
that’s it that’s all it means so if she’s saying when you don’t feel
so if she’s saying when you don’t feel like you can show it
like you can show it that means whether she’s choosing or she
that means whether she’s choosing or she feels pressure to not say and do the
feels pressure to not say and do the things she actually believes right this
things she actually believes right this is what she means by being an authentic
is what she means by being an authentic so though how do you reclaim your
so though how do you reclaim your authenticity well one the easiest way
authenticity well one the easiest way cuz I mean knowing your Y is an advanced
cuz I mean knowing your Y is an advanced way let’s be honest
way let’s be honest right because you can do without knowing
right because you can do without knowing your why the best way to do it is I’ll
your why the best way to do it is I’ll go back to that sense of camaraderie and
go back to that sense of camaraderie and friendship which is you have to have
friendship which is you have to have someone in your corner who loves you who
someone in your corner who loves you who knows you for who
knows you for who you are who loves you for who you are
you are who loves you for who you are and wants you to be who you are and you
and wants you to be who you are and you need someone in your corner who says you
need someone in your corner who says you got this be yourself right I love you
got this be yourself right I love you so III think the the the the thing to do
so III think the the the the thing to do is Brene brown talks about this which is
is Brene brown talks about this which is we don’t build trust by asking for we
we don’t build trust by asking for we don’t build trust by offering help to
don’t build trust by offering help to others we build trust by asking for help
others we build trust by asking for help from others and so it takes a much more
from others and so it takes a much more courage to say somebody I need I need
courage to say somebody I need I need help versus how can I help you and I
help versus how can I help you and I think sometimes we say how can I help
think sometimes we say how can I help you when what we really mean is I need
you when what we really mean is I need help and this is my story
help and this is my story I lost my passion and I was in a dark
I lost my passion and I was in a dark place and I was very inauthentic and I
place and I was very inauthentic and I was trying to portray a role that wasn’t
was trying to portray a role that wasn’t me a successful entrepreneur when I was
me a successful entrepreneur when I was a failing entrepreneur and a friend came
a failing entrepreneur and a friend came to me and said I’m worried about you
to me and said I’m worried about you so she opened the door and thank
so she opened the door and thank goodness I stepped through it and said I
goodness I stepped through it and said I need your help and I came clean and it
need your help and I came clean and it took a huge weight off my shoulders and
took a huge weight off my shoulders and all the energy that I was using lying
all the energy that I was using lying hiding and faking which is what we’re
hiding and faking which is what we’re doing when were being inauthentic I
doing when were being inauthentic I could now invest that energy and finding
could now invest that energy and finding a solution the solution I found was this
a solution the solution I found was this thing called the Y so it was because of
thing called the Y so it was because of a friend that my life was changed and
a friend that my life was changed and saved not because of me not because of
saved not because of me not because of me my genius was in my friend
so I don’t take any credit for it so it’s the same thing you know there’s
it’s the same thing you know there’s something I I’ve had the opportunity to
something I I’ve had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with folks in the
spend a lot of time with folks in the military and they do things very
military and they do things very differently to us I’ve hugged more
differently to us I’ve hugged more people in uniform that I have in suits
people in uniform that I have in suits I’ve cried with more people in uniform
I’ve cried with more people in uniform than I’ve cried with in suits I’ve stood
than I’ve cried with in suits I’ve stood in audiences and listened to officers
in audiences and listened to officers give a briefing that I’ve cried that
give a briefing that I’ve cried that I’ve never cried when a CEO gave a
I’ve never cried when a CEO gave a speech we have colleagues and co-workers
speech we have colleagues and co-workers they have brothers and sisters it is a
they have brothers and sisters it is a different relationship right and I
different relationship right and I remember I had a I had an experience
remember I had a I had an experience where I was on a stage talking to a
where I was on a stage talking to a group of senior officers in the Air
group of senior officers in the Air Force and I told a very very difficult
Force and I told a very very difficult story for the first time and I choked up
story for the first time and I choked up and I couldn’t go I couldn’t go on you
and I couldn’t go I couldn’t go on you know you get to that point where you
know you get to that point where you know if you go on you’re gonna lose it
know if you go on you’re gonna lose it so you just don’t go on and you just
so you just don’t go on and you just hold it you know you just don’t because
hold it you know you just don’t because you know if you say one more word you
you know if you say one more word you you lubber and so you don’t and in the
you lubber and so you don’t and in the private sector I know what they do they
private sector I know what they do they say don’t worry they say take a minute
say don’t worry they say take a minute right they that’s what they do in the
right they that’s what they do in the private sector I heard two words come
private sector I heard two words come from a general in the audience
from a general in the audience he said go on very different instruction
he said go on very different instruction he didn’t say take your time he didn’t
he didn’t say take your time he didn’t say take a moment he didn’t say compose
say take a moment he didn’t say compose yourself he said you’re in a very very
yourself he said you’re in a very very very safe space here right
very safe space here right he said go on it’s all I heard and so I
he said go on it’s all I heard and so I went on and I cried
went on and I cried it was good
it was good so what we need is when we hold back for
so what we need is when we hold back for fear or concern that we’re going to cry
fear or concern that we’re going to cry or that we may accidentally reveal
or that we may accidentally reveal ourselves that instead of saying to
ourselves that instead of saying to somebody take your time have a moment
somebody take your time have a moment when you’re ready instead we say to them
when you’re ready instead we say to them go on that’s stuck with me
yeah if we go back to my homeless example everybody’s selling something to
example everybody’s selling something to somebody so yeah sure it’s all the same
somebody so yeah sure it’s all the same right I think in the retail industry if
right I think in the retail industry if we try and link it back to the arts
we try and link it back to the arts there are like I’ll put it this way
there are like I’ll put it this way there is a refusal to compete here’s
there is a refusal to compete here’s what I mean here’s what I mean any
what I mean here’s what I mean any participant in any industry can get lazy
participant in any industry can get lazy when there is little change in how that
when there is little change in how that industry operates and then when there’s
industry operates and then when there’s a sudden change to how the industry
a sudden change to how the industry operates everybody gets angry panics and
operates everybody gets angry panics and points a finger I’ll give you an example
points a finger I’ll give you an example okay I’ll give you two examples example
okay I’ll give you two examples example number one taxi companies around the
number one taxi companies around the world hate Buber
world hate Buber right now here’s the reality the app
right now here’s the reality the app that calls a car not proprietary you can
that calls a car not proprietary you can call a taxi with it with an app right
call a taxi with it with an app right paying with your phone not proprietary
paying with your phone not proprietary any taxi can do that as well
any taxi can do that as well the reason Eber is eating taxi companies
the reason Eber is eating taxi companies for lunch is because it’s a better
for lunch is because it’s a better product and the taxi companies around
product and the taxi companies around the world could have a shitty product
the world could have a shitty product because you’re the only game in town and
because you’re the only game in town and we had no choice and now you have a
we had no choice and now you have a competitor and instead of competing
competitor and instead of competing you’re getting angry I would gladly take
you’re getting angry I would gladly take more cabs than coal services if I got in
more cabs than coal services if I got in the cab and he said hi and it was clean
the cab and he said hi and it was clean and I had a nice chat with him and he
and I had a nice chat with him and he wasn’t on the phone and he wasn’t
wasn’t on the phone and he wasn’t smoking and in all of these things and I
smoking and in all of these things and I had some leg room I’d gladly gladly
had some leg room I’d gladly gladly gladly has nothing to do with the app
gladly has nothing to do with the app the paid mechanism it has to do with the
the paid mechanism it has to do with the fact that Juno and lyft are just better
fact that Juno and lyft are just better is it just a better experience better
is it just a better experience better product is why I take them they cost a
product is why I take them they cost a dollar more whatever I’ll pay for it
dollar more whatever I’ll pay for it it’s not even a price thing I have no
it’s not even a price thing I have no idea that sheep were more expensive but
idea that sheep were more expensive but actually never compared the same goes
actually never compared the same goes for Starbucks right so there was a lot
for Starbucks right so there was a lot of people hate Starbucks because they
of people hate Starbucks because they put mom and pops out of business right
put mom and pops out of business right the reality is the complete opposite
the reality is the complete opposite that when Starbucks moves into a
that when Starbucks moves into a neighborhood mom and pops coffee shops
neighborhood mom and pops coffee shops actually do better for two reasons one
actually do better for two reasons one Starbucks attract more customers so
Starbucks attract more customers so there’s more people and the second
there’s more people and the second reason is there is a groundswell of
reason is there is a groundswell of giving back to the local and so more
giving back to the local and so more people go to the mom-and-pop right the
people go to the mom-and-pop right the ones that go out of business the ones
ones that go out of business the ones that refused to compete I’ll give you a
that refused to compete I’ll give you a real-life example this goes back a few
real-life example this goes back a few years a real-life example I’m lactose
years a real-life example I’m lactose intolerant right so I don’t have milk in
intolerant right so I don’t have milk in my coffee and there was a time where it
my coffee and there was a time where it wasn’t a foregone conclusion that every
wasn’t a foregone conclusion that every coffee shop had soy milk or almond milk
coffee shop had soy milk or almond milk or something so I would always go into
or something so I would always go into the mom-and-pop that was across the
the mom-and-pop that was across the street from Starbucks always go to the
street from Starbucks always go to the mom-and-pop and I’d say do you guys have
mom-and-pop and I’d say do you guys have any soy milk and they go nope I got like
any soy milk and they go nope I got like and I would walk out those went out of
and I would walk out those went out of business because I went to Starbucks
business because I went to Starbucks he’s right I went to Starbucks now had
he’s right I went to Starbucks now had Starbucks moved in and they went across
Starbucks moved in and they went across the street and said let’s see what
the street and said let’s see what Starbucks has we should offer soy milk
Starbucks has we should offer soy milk maybe it’s time for us to replace this
maybe it’s time for us to replace this ripped couch that we’ve had for 15 years
ripped couch that we’ve had for 15 years because it’s really nice across there
because it’s really nice across there and it’s really gross here
and it’s really gross here it’s the ones who got angry and refused
it’s the ones who got angry and refused to compete that went out of business I
to compete that went out of business I think retail is the same everybody’s
think retail is the same everybody’s pointing fingers instead of saying we’ve
pointing fingers instead of saying we’ve had it really good for a bunch of years
had it really good for a bunch of years and the question is now what is our
and the question is now what is our competitor revealing about our own
competitor revealing about our own weaknesses that we can learn to improve
weaknesses that we can learn to improve because that’s what competition does
because that’s what competition does competition reveals your weaknesses to
competition reveals your weaknesses to you and when you had no competition you
you and when you had no competition you didn’t know where you were weak this is
didn’t know where you were weak this is the problem with being the best at
the problem with being the best at anything because you don’t know where
anything because you don’t know where your your faults are and then somebody
your your faults are and then somebody undermines you because they can see your
undermines you because they can see your faults before you can well do one more
faults before you can well do one more Facebook question and then we’ll move
Facebook question and then we’ll move some more in here and then we’ll
some more in here and then we’ll probably should wind down how do you do
probably should wind down how do you do how do you stay inspired when doing all
how do you stay inspired when doing all the parts of your work that are tedious
the parts of your work that are tedious and not inspiring not creative sorry
and not inspiring not creative sorry how do you stay inspired when when
how do you stay inspired when when you’re doing all the parts of your work
you’re doing all the parts of your work that are tedious and not creative okay
that are tedious and not creative okay the answer is do you not it’s like
the answer is do you not it’s like raising children okay having children is
raising children okay having children is awful don’t try and convince me
awful don’t try and convince me otherwise have you seen what your
otherwise have you seen what your apartment looks like can you see what
apartment looks like can you see what your house looks like your definition of
your house looks like your definition of dinner is eating macaroni and cheese
dinner is eating macaroni and cheese over the sink with a plastic spoon right
over the sink with a plastic spoon right if you have a backseat of a car it’s
if you have a backseat of a car it’s destroyed
you have kids that throw temper tantrums and all you want to do is watch TV but
and all you want to do is watch TV but they don’t want to go to bed that’s your
they don’t want to go to bed that’s your life right you have to travel at
life right you have to travel at Christmas or summer the most expensive
Christmas or summer the most expensive and worse times to travel because
and worse times to travel because everybody’s on vacation because you have
everybody’s on vacation because you have kids you own a Honda Odyssey you know
kids you own a Honda Odyssey you know did you have one the poster of one of
did you have one the poster of one of those on your wall when you’re a kid was
those on your wall when you’re a kid was that your aspiration the Lamborghini in
that your aspiration the Lamborghini in the Honda Odyssey you’ve got one right
the Honda Odyssey you’ve got one right it’s freaking hard work and they’re
it’s freaking hard work and they’re really annoying and then they have
really annoying and then they have problems and they’re sick and they get
problems and they’re sick and they get bad grades and who knows what so why
bad grades and who knows what so why would anybody have a child it’s for the
would anybody have a child it’s for the unpredictable glimmers when you catch
unpredictable glimmers when you catch your five-year-old sharing with your
your five-year-old sharing with your four-year-old
four-year-old when you check to see that your kid is
when you check to see that your kid is sleeping you find them under the covers
sleeping you find them under the covers with a flashlight reading the school
with a flashlight reading the school play the first girlfriend the first
play the first girlfriend the first boyfriend
boyfriend it’s the unpredictable glimmers that
it’s the unpredictable glimmers that make all of the sacrifice worth it and
make all of the sacrifice worth it and the same goes here creativity is not
the same goes here creativity is not something that you get to have every day
something that you get to have every day if you did you’d be jaded and it’d get
if you did you’d be jaded and it’d get boring thank you you know you don’t get
boring thank you you know you don’t get that a living a creative life means that
that a living a creative life means that you you accept the tedium and you accept
you you accept the tedium and you accept the the mundane as part of the process
the the mundane as part of the process of discovering the glimmers and when you
of discovering the glimmers and when you get those glimmers all the tedium
get those glimmers all the tedium disappears it was all worth it you know
disappears it was all worth it you know so there’s no such thing as a thrill a
so there’s no such thing as a thrill a day and and when people seek it out they
day and and when people seek it out they die young you know it’s just not a
die young you know it’s just not a sustainable model asking for help helps
sustainable model asking for help helps somewhat delegating helps somewhat
somewhat delegating helps somewhat saying learning to say no to some things
saying learning to say no to some things helps somewhat but it’s it’s just it’s
helps somewhat but it’s it’s just it’s part of the deal
part of the deal relationships are the same relationships
relationships are the same relationships are really hard but it’s the glimmers
are really hard but it’s the glimmers when someone makes you feel like you’re
when someone makes you feel like you’re the most special person on earth when
the most special person on earth when someone makes you feel that you’re the
someone makes you feel that you’re the better version of yourself because
better version of yourself because they’re in your life you know you don’t
they’re in your life you know you don’t get that every day you know and that
get that every day you know and that goes for friendships that goes for
goes for friendships that goes for really like as anything like my III
really like as anything like my III every now and then I look at my I pull
every now and then I look at my I pull back and I look at my own friendships
back and I look at my own friendships and it’s not a criticism of the people
and it’s not a criticism of the people that are in my life that I call friends
that are in my life that I call friends it’s a criticism of me which is I have
it’s a criticism of me which is I have people my life that I can absolutely say
people my life that I can absolutely say with absolute certainty that I’m a
with absolute certainty that I’m a better version of myself because they’re
better version of myself because they’re in my life and if I lost them I would
in my life and if I lost them I would lose a piece of me it is without
lose a piece of me it is without certainty without without a doubt I mean
certainty without without a doubt I mean with absolute certainty and I also have
with absolute certainty and I also have people in my life that if I look back at
people in my life that if I look back at my friendship
my friendship I really haven’t grown at all because
I really haven’t grown at all because they’re in my life and I spend time with
they’re in my life and I spend time with them maybe because I don’t like being
them maybe because I don’t like being alone and they were available or I spend
alone and they were available or I spend time with them because they’re funny and
time with them because they’re funny and I like him but if they disappeared when
I like him but if they disappeared when I feel like a piece of me got lost
I feel like a piece of me got lost probably not and then I ask myself
probably not and then I ask myself because it’s not a criticism of them
because it’s not a criticism of them it’s a criticism of me I ask myself am i
it’s a criticism of me I ask myself am i investing time and the people that are
investing time and the people that are helping me grow like should I should I
helping me grow like should I should I because if I never called them they’d
because if I never called them they’d never call me think I know that too you
never call me think I know that too you know so should I really have a few
know so should I really have a few nights alone in order to save up time
nights alone in order to save up time you know I don’t have an answer for it
you know I don’t have an answer for it but these are the things I think about
but these are the things I think about so yeah
so yeah we’ll do one more question one more one
we’ll do one more question one more one more yes you’ve been waiting so
more yes you’ve been waiting so patiently and you’re from the right side
patiently and you’re from the right side of the beginning the one question from
of the beginning the one question from the right side of the room one question
the right side of the room one question the resident there’s a lot under
the resident there’s a lot under shoulder this better be a good question
shoulder this better be a good question it’s the only question from the right
it’s the only question from the right side of the room and it’s the last
side of the room and it’s the last question isn’t this exciting isn’t this
question isn’t this exciting isn’t this exciting just a macro philosophical
exciting just a macro philosophical sense change is happening so the
sense change is happening so the question was in a world of uncertainty
question was in a world of uncertainty how do we stay balanced yeah
how do we stay balanced yeah is that the question right I’ll give you
is that the question right I’ll give you the same answer I’ve given 15 times
the same answer I’ve given 15 times today
today you better have someone in your life who
you better have someone in your life who loves you now the harder question is how
loves you now the harder question is how do you have someone in your life who
do you have someone in your life who loves you
okay that’s the harder question and there’s an answer to that too
there’s an answer to that too you better be open to loving someone