so what I know about all of us I was
super stuck the one thing that really
marks that time was a ton of
self-loathing and feeling worthless and
shame and kind of all those really dark
emotions if you are somebody which you
are that is smart that is able to
identify the things that you need to do
and you consistently don’t do them then
there is an underlying story that you
have about yourself that keeps playing
out and maybe you were you know I don’t
off the top of my head know your story
in terms of your past but maybe you were
an abusive relationship maybe you were
in a relationship as a child with
parents that made you feel worthless
maybe you had a huge setback and you
haven’t recovered from it there is an
element to where when its self-sabotage
what happens for a lot of us is we take
what somebody else used to do to us and
do it to ourselves because it’s the only
thing you know so were you in like an
abusive relationship for real
was it physical abuse sexual abuse that
can actually be worse if the issue for
you is those tapes and the issue for you
is that the thinking that you’re
worthless and that you’re stupid and
that you’re not good enough and that you
can’t do anything right that it got so
engrained by some as screwed up as it
sounds that’s all that you’ve ever heard
it becomes the thing that you repeat
very much like learning a language so if
you think about the fact that as a kid
if you are in a household that speaks a
certain language and say they’re
speaking Russian you pick it up and then
you don’t even realize it but you parrot
it back and when you’re not thinking
about it or when you get super tired
even if you’ve spoken English for 20
years you might say something in Russian
and that’s what you’re going to war
against can you tell me in your own
words what is the word that you used you
know is it worthless is it don’t deserve
it what did he use to say to you that
really hurt dummy there
reason why you don’t carve out time for
yourself and the reason why you blow off
the appointments for yourself notice
it’s not for other people it’s for you
is because of this underlying feeling
that you’re not important and the only
way to break this you’ve already gone to
therapy you’ve already dealt with the
tapes you don’t use that language with
yourself the only way to break apart
this story is through action now the
reason why I say that is because you can
make all the plans in the world but
until you see yourself taking action on
the things that are important to you
your own in action enforces the story
that you’re a dummy does that make sense
so it sounds like through intensive
therapy you got rid of the tape but you
didn’t get rid of the behavior what
happens when somebody is beaten down and
psychologically battered is you become
paralyzed you doubt everything you feel
like you’re spinning in circles you feel
like you can’t rely on yourself
that is a classic manifestation of
emotional abuse because you lose your
power and so you start spinning and for
you you’ve stopped doing that in your
head and now you’re just frustrated as
hell because you can’t see yourself
moving forward you’re physically doing
it in your life so here’s what I would
like you to do let’s pick one area where
you feel stuck and where you know what
sit dummy do you see this I’m gonna keep
pointing it out because you have you’ve
adopted the self-criticism this is what
I want you to do I want you to run just
for one week that’s it I just want you
every day for one week to push yourself
no matter how you’re feeling no matter
stupid you think it is no matter how you
now start feeling resigned that it’s not
going to work
I want you every single day to either
watch something about SEO or put up one
project because I need for you to start
to break the cycle of spinning in place
and I need for you to see yourself
starting to inch forward it’s critical
because you now need physical evidence
that you can push yourself forward
because you can’t even hear how critical
you are of yourself I don’t think
there’s anybody in your life but you
that’s saying it then the person that
you’re in a relationship with could you
ask that person to also police the way
you talk to yourself and what that means
is when he points it out you can’t kill
him the reason why I’m telling you to
ask somebody else to coach you when it
comes to how you talk to yourself or how
you talk to others is because you can’t
hear it I can’t hear my tone so I have
this edge that I get that is really good
in business but when I bring it into the
kitchen and I talked to the kids that
way or I talked to Chris that way it is
really demoralizing and I have started
asking the kids and Chris to point it
out because I can’t hear it I just know
I’m tired or I know I’m frustrated it’s
amazing the kids have started even
saying hey anger spreads just because
you’re angry at work doesn’t mean you
get the right to talk to me that way it
makes me angry when they point that out
but then I’m go oh there it is I didn’t
even realize I’m sorry and I’ve gotten
better about now immediately not getting
angry that somebody’s telling me that
when I’ve asked them to but actually
taking the feedback and saying thank you
I don’t want to talk to you that way and
you’re right just because I’m frustrated
with a phone call I just had doesn’t
mean I
get to take it out on you you got this
and you know look if you’ve done that
much therapy you have all the tools and
the thing about the advice to you is
that we try to self-improve in isolation
it is so much easier when other people
are helping you so much easier whether
it’s exercise whether it’s your tone of
voice whether it’s staying motivated
really big distinction for me not to
change alone okay in this video I’m
going to explain to you the science
behind why the five-second rule works as
I said earlier the five-second rule is a
form of metacognition that beats every
trick that your brain plays on you most
of us don’t even realize how often we
hesitate start doubting ourselves and
get stuck analyzing things to death I
keep talking about how you can change
your life in five seconds and that’s
because in five seconds flat worried can
hijack your mind fear can take over and
the smallest moves that you really want
to make consume terrifying the opposite
is also true in five seconds flat
you can take control back do you know
how often you hesitate and stop yourself
all day long there’s actually a
neurological reason why change is so
hard your brain is designed to stop you
from changing let me explain you say
change requires you to do things that
are uncertain scary or new your brain is
designed to protect you from doing
things that are uncertain scary or new
what’s your brains favorite way to
protect you to trap you in your head by
making you overthink I’ve studied and
interviewed the leading researchers in
psychology and human behavior and what
they’ve taught me is that the moment the
moment you want to change break a habit
or do something hard or scary and you
hesitate your brain goes to work to stop
you now there’s all kinds of fancy names
for this cognitive biases the paradox of
choice the psychological immune system
the spotlight effect I could name
hundreds of them you don’t need to know
the fancy names you just need to know
one simple fact
there is a system in your head that is
stopping you every step of the way and
the five-second rule is the only tool
that you need to beat it so how does the
five-second rule beat the system in your
head there are two explanations first
I’m going to give you the simple one
then I’m going to explain the science at
its most basic level the five-second
rule is a tool that helps you take
action it gets you out of your head and
that’s the secret you’ve got to stop
thinking and start living before the
system in your head has a chance to stop
you now let’s talk about the science the
five-second rule leverages proven
principles in modern psychology and
there are literally hundreds of examples
that I could point to but in this video
we’re just going to focus on five of
them first let’s talk about two concepts
one called
locus of control the second called a
biased toward action so a locus of
control is a foundational principle in
psychology you should google it back in
the day researchers figured out that
there are basically two kinds of people
people that believe that they’re in
control of their lives and folks that
believe that life is just happening to
them and they’re a victim of whatever
might happen now when you look at these
two types of people people that have an
internal locus of control a belief that
they’re in control of their lives
they’re happier they’re more successful
more productive so the question becomes
how do you create an internal locus of
control in yourself the answer is simple
it’s called a bias toward action so a
bias toward action is a psychological
principle that means you’re the kind of
person that has a bias toward taking
action instead of a bias toward thinking
how do you create a bias toward action
you guessed it the five-second rule the
five-second rule is a tool that will
teach you how to take action and over
time as you use it you not only learn
how to take action you become the kind
of person that operates with a bias
toward taking action and when you take
action over and over and over on your
instincts on your desires on your
committee
guess what you get you build an internal
locus of control you become the kind of
person that believes that you’re in
control of your life because you’re
proving it to yourself
one five-second decision at a time let’s
move on to topic two behavioral
flexibility so just a few years ago
scientists thought that our brain
stopped growing at the age of about 25
what we now know is that your brain
never stops growing we have the ability
to learn new things throughout an entire
lifetime we call this behavioral
flexibility one of the things that’s
exciting about the five-second rule and
that we see from people all over the
world is that when they utilize the rule
over and over and over again they not
only create immediate change in the
moment with a five-second decision but
that over time as they repeat the new
behavior whether it’s speaking up in
meetings more or it is pushing yourself
to exercise over and over that you
actually create new habits and become an
entirely different person this is what
your brain is designed to do in terms of
its neural pathways and the way that new
neural pathways can develop every time
you use the five-second rule in five
four three two one
activate your prefrontal cortex and
shift your behavior you are not only
creating immediate behavior change over
the long run thanks to behavioral
flexibility you’re creating lasting
behavior change the third principle is
do good be good now this is a principle
that I first learned about from
legendary psychological researcher and
University of Virginia professor Timothy
Wilson basically it means that you can’t
think your way to being happier or
better you actually got to do something
now this do good be good philosophy
dates all the way back to Aristotle and
it’s based on the belief and now the
proven technique that in order to change
you can’t think your way to being more
positive you’ve got to do things you got
to act and then your mind will follow
what is the five-second rule it’s a tool
that will help you stop thinking and
start doing
do good be good and then your mind will
follow the fourth principle and that’s
the golden rule of habits now I could
spend two or three hours just talking
about habit research and whether you
read Charles doings best-selling book or
Gretchen Rubens book on habits or you
watch a number of TED talks all
researchers believe that habits come
down to one golden rule and that’s this
you can never change the things that
trigger you you can’t control your urges
or how you might feel but you can always
choose how you behave if you want to
break a habit once you have a habit it’s
always going to be encoded in your brain
the only way that you can break it is to
replace it with new behavior there’s
also something in the research around
habits called a starting ritual a
starting ritual is a repeated behavior
that you adopt in order to trigger a new
habit the 5-second role is so incredibly
powerful when it comes to breaking old
habits and adopting new ones because
number one the five-second rule and
counting backwards 5 4 3 2 1 is a
starting ritual it will interrupt the
old behavior pattern and it will trigger
a new one the five-second rule over time
and this is really cool actually becomes
the new pattern of behavior instead of
stopping yourself with self-doubt or
blowing things off or over eating you
have a new pattern of behavior you catch
yourself you gain control you have
confidence 5 4 3 2 1 and you do the
thing that you know you want to do
and finally the principle called
activation energy now activation energy
is something that was first introduced
into the field of human behavior in
psychology several decades ago by a
rockstar professor at the University of
Chicago that studied a state of flow his
name was Mihai csikszentmihalyi and he
studied was one of the first really to
study he
behavior human performance and he coined
this term activation energy actually
borrowed it from chemistry and it’s a
term that describes this phenomenon in
order to start any kind of chemical
reaction it takes a tremendous amount of
energy to create that initial spark a
lot more energy to start it than to keep
it going there’s a direct correlation to
you and me I’ve never noticed how hard
it is to just get started how hard it is
to get to the gym how hard it is to get
out of bed how hard it is to put down
the bottle when you go to pour a second
drink and you know you shouldn’t that
feeling how hard it is to get started
this is what me highs talking about you
need activation energy to start the
chain to start to sit down to start to
get out of bed to start to walk out the
door that’s the key to creating any kind
of change this activation energy inside
of you that causes the initial boom and
then what do we hear over time once you
start there’s a chain reaction and that
allows you to keep going so what’s this
have to do with the five-second rule
freaking everything the five-second rule
creates activation energy in you the
five-second rule is how you activate
change inside of you it is a tool when
you start counting five four three two
one you awaken your prefrontal cortex
you begin the process of changing you
push yourself in a new direction that
first push that’s gonna be the hardest
once you get moving it gets so much
easier so those are just five just five
psychological scientific principles that
explain the power of the five-second
rule personally while the science is
really interesting I’m actually more
inspired by the hundreds of thousands of
people that we’ve heard from from around
the world just like you and me that are
using this rule not based on science but
using it in their
and seeing remarkable results the
science explains it but you’re gonna be
absolutely amazed at what happens when
you actually start to use this simple
and powerful tool you’re not only going
to blow up the system in your head and
the tricks that your brain uses to stop
you right now you’re going to shake up your entire life
super stuck the one thing that really
marks that time was a ton of
self-loathing and feeling worthless and
shame and kind of all those really dark
emotions if you are somebody which you
are that is smart that is able to
identify the things that you need to do
and you consistently don’t do them then
there is an underlying story that you
have about yourself that keeps playing
out and maybe you were you know I don’t
off the top of my head know your story
in terms of your past but maybe you were
an abusive relationship maybe you were
in a relationship as a child with
parents that made you feel worthless
maybe you had a huge setback and you
haven’t recovered from it there is an
element to where when its self-sabotage
what happens for a lot of us is we take
what somebody else used to do to us and
do it to ourselves because it’s the only
thing you know so were you in like an
abusive relationship for real
was it physical abuse sexual abuse that
can actually be worse if the issue for
you is those tapes and the issue for you
is that the thinking that you’re
worthless and that you’re stupid and
that you’re not good enough and that you
can’t do anything right that it got so
engrained by some as screwed up as it
sounds that’s all that you’ve ever heard
it becomes the thing that you repeat
very much like learning a language so if
you think about the fact that as a kid
if you are in a household that speaks a
certain language and say they’re
speaking Russian you pick it up and then
you don’t even realize it but you parrot
it back and when you’re not thinking
about it or when you get super tired
even if you’ve spoken English for 20
years you might say something in Russian
and that’s what you’re going to war
against can you tell me in your own
words what is the word that you used you
know is it worthless is it don’t deserve
it what did he use to say to you that
really hurt dummy there
reason why you don’t carve out time for
yourself and the reason why you blow off
the appointments for yourself notice
it’s not for other people it’s for you
is because of this underlying feeling
that you’re not important and the only
way to break this you’ve already gone to
therapy you’ve already dealt with the
tapes you don’t use that language with
yourself the only way to break apart
this story is through action now the
reason why I say that is because you can
make all the plans in the world but
until you see yourself taking action on
the things that are important to you
your own in action enforces the story
that you’re a dummy does that make sense
so it sounds like through intensive
therapy you got rid of the tape but you
didn’t get rid of the behavior what
happens when somebody is beaten down and
psychologically battered is you become
paralyzed you doubt everything you feel
like you’re spinning in circles you feel
like you can’t rely on yourself
that is a classic manifestation of
emotional abuse because you lose your
power and so you start spinning and for
you you’ve stopped doing that in your
head and now you’re just frustrated as
hell because you can’t see yourself
moving forward you’re physically doing
it in your life so here’s what I would
like you to do let’s pick one area where
you feel stuck and where you know what
sit dummy do you see this I’m gonna keep
pointing it out because you have you’ve
adopted the self-criticism this is what
I want you to do I want you to run just
for one week that’s it I just want you
every day for one week to push yourself
no matter how you’re feeling no matter
stupid you think it is no matter how you
now start feeling resigned that it’s not
going to work
I want you every single day to either
watch something about SEO or put up one
project because I need for you to start
to break the cycle of spinning in place
and I need for you to see yourself
starting to inch forward it’s critical
because you now need physical evidence
that you can push yourself forward
because you can’t even hear how critical
you are of yourself I don’t think
there’s anybody in your life but you
that’s saying it then the person that
you’re in a relationship with could you
ask that person to also police the way
you talk to yourself and what that means
is when he points it out you can’t kill
him the reason why I’m telling you to
ask somebody else to coach you when it
comes to how you talk to yourself or how
you talk to others is because you can’t
hear it I can’t hear my tone so I have
this edge that I get that is really good
in business but when I bring it into the
kitchen and I talked to the kids that
way or I talked to Chris that way it is
really demoralizing and I have started
asking the kids and Chris to point it
out because I can’t hear it I just know
I’m tired or I know I’m frustrated it’s
amazing the kids have started even
saying hey anger spreads just because
you’re angry at work doesn’t mean you
get the right to talk to me that way it
makes me angry when they point that out
but then I’m go oh there it is I didn’t
even realize I’m sorry and I’ve gotten
better about now immediately not getting
angry that somebody’s telling me that
when I’ve asked them to but actually
taking the feedback and saying thank you
I don’t want to talk to you that way and
you’re right just because I’m frustrated
with a phone call I just had doesn’t
mean I
get to take it out on you you got this
and you know look if you’ve done that
much therapy you have all the tools and
the thing about the advice to you is
that we try to self-improve in isolation
it is so much easier when other people
are helping you so much easier whether
it’s exercise whether it’s your tone of
voice whether it’s staying motivated
really big distinction for me not to
change alone okay in this video I’m
going to explain to you the science
behind why the five-second rule works as
I said earlier the five-second rule is a
form of metacognition that beats every
trick that your brain plays on you most
of us don’t even realize how often we
hesitate start doubting ourselves and
get stuck analyzing things to death I
keep talking about how you can change
your life in five seconds and that’s
because in five seconds flat worried can
hijack your mind fear can take over and
the smallest moves that you really want
to make consume terrifying the opposite
is also true in five seconds flat
you can take control back do you know
how often you hesitate and stop yourself
all day long there’s actually a
neurological reason why change is so
hard your brain is designed to stop you
from changing let me explain you say
change requires you to do things that
are uncertain scary or new your brain is
designed to protect you from doing
things that are uncertain scary or new
what’s your brains favorite way to
protect you to trap you in your head by
making you overthink I’ve studied and
interviewed the leading researchers in
psychology and human behavior and what
they’ve taught me is that the moment the
moment you want to change break a habit
or do something hard or scary and you
hesitate your brain goes to work to stop
you now there’s all kinds of fancy names
for this cognitive biases the paradox of
choice the psychological immune system
the spotlight effect I could name
hundreds of them you don’t need to know
the fancy names you just need to know
one simple fact
there is a system in your head that is
stopping you every step of the way and
the five-second rule is the only tool
that you need to beat it so how does the
five-second rule beat the system in your
head there are two explanations first
I’m going to give you the simple one
then I’m going to explain the science at
its most basic level the five-second
rule is a tool that helps you take
action it gets you out of your head and
that’s the secret you’ve got to stop
thinking and start living before the
system in your head has a chance to stop
you now let’s talk about the science the
five-second rule leverages proven
principles in modern psychology and
there are literally hundreds of examples
that I could point to but in this video
we’re just going to focus on five of
them first let’s talk about two concepts
one called
locus of control the second called a
biased toward action so a locus of
control is a foundational principle in
psychology you should google it back in
the day researchers figured out that
there are basically two kinds of people
people that believe that they’re in
control of their lives and folks that
believe that life is just happening to
them and they’re a victim of whatever
might happen now when you look at these
two types of people people that have an
internal locus of control a belief that
they’re in control of their lives
they’re happier they’re more successful
more productive so the question becomes
how do you create an internal locus of
control in yourself the answer is simple
it’s called a bias toward action so a
bias toward action is a psychological
principle that means you’re the kind of
person that has a bias toward taking
action instead of a bias toward thinking
how do you create a bias toward action
you guessed it the five-second rule the
five-second rule is a tool that will
teach you how to take action and over
time as you use it you not only learn
how to take action you become the kind
of person that operates with a bias
toward taking action and when you take
action over and over and over on your
instincts on your desires on your
committee
guess what you get you build an internal
locus of control you become the kind of
person that believes that you’re in
control of your life because you’re
proving it to yourself
one five-second decision at a time let’s
move on to topic two behavioral
flexibility so just a few years ago
scientists thought that our brain
stopped growing at the age of about 25
what we now know is that your brain
never stops growing we have the ability
to learn new things throughout an entire
lifetime we call this behavioral
flexibility one of the things that’s
exciting about the five-second rule and
that we see from people all over the
world is that when they utilize the rule
over and over and over again they not
only create immediate change in the
moment with a five-second decision but
that over time as they repeat the new
behavior whether it’s speaking up in
meetings more or it is pushing yourself
to exercise over and over that you
actually create new habits and become an
entirely different person this is what
your brain is designed to do in terms of
its neural pathways and the way that new
neural pathways can develop every time
you use the five-second rule in five
four three two one
activate your prefrontal cortex and
shift your behavior you are not only
creating immediate behavior change over
the long run thanks to behavioral
flexibility you’re creating lasting
behavior change the third principle is
do good be good now this is a principle
that I first learned about from
legendary psychological researcher and
University of Virginia professor Timothy
Wilson basically it means that you can’t
think your way to being happier or
better you actually got to do something
now this do good be good philosophy
dates all the way back to Aristotle and
it’s based on the belief and now the
proven technique that in order to change
you can’t think your way to being more
positive you’ve got to do things you got
to act and then your mind will follow
what is the five-second rule it’s a tool
that will help you stop thinking and
start doing
do good be good and then your mind will
follow the fourth principle and that’s
the golden rule of habits now I could
spend two or three hours just talking
about habit research and whether you
read Charles doings best-selling book or
Gretchen Rubens book on habits or you
watch a number of TED talks all
researchers believe that habits come
down to one golden rule and that’s this
you can never change the things that
trigger you you can’t control your urges
or how you might feel but you can always
choose how you behave if you want to
break a habit once you have a habit it’s
always going to be encoded in your brain
the only way that you can break it is to
replace it with new behavior there’s
also something in the research around
habits called a starting ritual a
starting ritual is a repeated behavior
that you adopt in order to trigger a new
habit the 5-second role is so incredibly
powerful when it comes to breaking old
habits and adopting new ones because
number one the five-second rule and
counting backwards 5 4 3 2 1 is a
starting ritual it will interrupt the
old behavior pattern and it will trigger
a new one the five-second rule over time
and this is really cool actually becomes
the new pattern of behavior instead of
stopping yourself with self-doubt or
blowing things off or over eating you
have a new pattern of behavior you catch
yourself you gain control you have
confidence 5 4 3 2 1 and you do the
thing that you know you want to do
and finally the principle called
activation energy now activation energy
is something that was first introduced
into the field of human behavior in
psychology several decades ago by a
rockstar professor at the University of
Chicago that studied a state of flow his
name was Mihai csikszentmihalyi and he
studied was one of the first really to
study he
behavior human performance and he coined
this term activation energy actually
borrowed it from chemistry and it’s a
term that describes this phenomenon in
order to start any kind of chemical
reaction it takes a tremendous amount of
energy to create that initial spark a
lot more energy to start it than to keep
it going there’s a direct correlation to
you and me I’ve never noticed how hard
it is to just get started how hard it is
to get to the gym how hard it is to get
out of bed how hard it is to put down
the bottle when you go to pour a second
drink and you know you shouldn’t that
feeling how hard it is to get started
this is what me highs talking about you
need activation energy to start the
chain to start to sit down to start to
get out of bed to start to walk out the
door that’s the key to creating any kind
of change this activation energy inside
of you that causes the initial boom and
then what do we hear over time once you
start there’s a chain reaction and that
allows you to keep going so what’s this
have to do with the five-second rule
freaking everything the five-second rule
creates activation energy in you the
five-second rule is how you activate
change inside of you it is a tool when
you start counting five four three two
one you awaken your prefrontal cortex
you begin the process of changing you
push yourself in a new direction that
first push that’s gonna be the hardest
once you get moving it gets so much
easier so those are just five just five
psychological scientific principles that
explain the power of the five-second
rule personally while the science is
really interesting I’m actually more
inspired by the hundreds of thousands of
people that we’ve heard from from around
the world just like you and me that are
using this rule not based on science but
using it in their
and seeing remarkable results the
science explains it but you’re gonna be
absolutely amazed at what happens when
you actually start to use this simple
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