the concept of anger I think we have to
think about the phases of anger there
are three phases of anger one is
somebody provokes me I feel angry okay I
don’t have any control over that
then there’s the phase of anger of how
do I react to it right do I walk away do
I respond do I punch the guy in the face
do I call him with some nasty name
that’s my reaction to anger and then the
other thing is okay I didn’t have any
choice of being feeling angry when I was
provoked how long am I gonna hold on to
that anger an hour a day 22 years right
so in order to keep things straight I
give these three phases three different
names the feeling of anger I call anger
the reaction to anger I call rage and
then hanging on to the anger is called
resentment right and thank you clarify
it I say okay I can do nothing about my
feeling of anger other than perhaps take
some things in perspective right one of
my father’s teachings that helped me a
great deal was that when somebody did
something in my father which should have
provoked anger my father would say you
know what he did was so foolish if he
only knew how foolish it was what he did
he wouldn’t have done it so you know I
feel sorry for the person for being such
a fool but if you feel sorry for a
person how can you be angry at him you
know I feel pity for pity and anger
doesn’t go together but nevertheless I
can’t control how I feel when provoked
but I certainly can’t control what my
reaction is gonna be
and finally how long do I hang on to the
resentments my greatest lesson came from
Alcoholics Anonymous where somebody said
harboring a resentment is allowing
someone who you don’t like to live
inside your head without paying any rent
and I’m not that kind of a guy I’m not a
nice guy like that to let somebody else
pay so hey help me get rid of
resentments reacting to anger took me a
while but to be able to control my rage
and then I had to realize that you know
this is part of my being human animals
react with rage when when provoked right
I as a human being I’m supposed to be
above that I’m an orphan Homo sapiens so
I learned how to control my anger so I
think those are if a person keeps those
things in mind right and there’s some
people who feel guilty for feeling angry
right especially at a parent you don’t
have a choice okay
the feeling of anger is not very so if
you don’t have a choice there’s no
reason to feel guilty about it how you
react now my suggestion is keep an anger
Journal right here’s what happened today
right
somebody did this is that and here’s
what how I did right that night it’s it
at the time that I’m provoked I think it
isn’t clear because I’m in this pressure
to respond but at night when I look over
what happened during the daytime and I
say did I handle that in the best way
possible could I have done something
better and that becomes a lesson for the
next time so I think keeping a journal
about anger and how we respond to it is
an excellent way element because
ultimately if I am enraged it doesn’t
hurt the other person as much as it hurts me
think about the phases of anger there
are three phases of anger one is
somebody provokes me I feel angry okay I
don’t have any control over that
then there’s the phase of anger of how
do I react to it right do I walk away do
I respond do I punch the guy in the face
do I call him with some nasty name
that’s my reaction to anger and then the
other thing is okay I didn’t have any
choice of being feeling angry when I was
provoked how long am I gonna hold on to
that anger an hour a day 22 years right
so in order to keep things straight I
give these three phases three different
names the feeling of anger I call anger
the reaction to anger I call rage and
then hanging on to the anger is called
resentment right and thank you clarify
it I say okay I can do nothing about my
feeling of anger other than perhaps take
some things in perspective right one of
my father’s teachings that helped me a
great deal was that when somebody did
something in my father which should have
provoked anger my father would say you
know what he did was so foolish if he
only knew how foolish it was what he did
he wouldn’t have done it so you know I
feel sorry for the person for being such
a fool but if you feel sorry for a
person how can you be angry at him you
know I feel pity for pity and anger
doesn’t go together but nevertheless I
can’t control how I feel when provoked
but I certainly can’t control what my
reaction is gonna be
and finally how long do I hang on to the
resentments my greatest lesson came from
Alcoholics Anonymous where somebody said
harboring a resentment is allowing
someone who you don’t like to live
inside your head without paying any rent
and I’m not that kind of a guy I’m not a
nice guy like that to let somebody else
pay so hey help me get rid of
resentments reacting to anger took me a
while but to be able to control my rage
and then I had to realize that you know
this is part of my being human animals
react with rage when when provoked right
I as a human being I’m supposed to be
above that I’m an orphan Homo sapiens so
I learned how to control my anger so I
think those are if a person keeps those
things in mind right and there’s some
people who feel guilty for feeling angry
right especially at a parent you don’t
have a choice okay
the feeling of anger is not very so if
you don’t have a choice there’s no
reason to feel guilty about it how you
react now my suggestion is keep an anger
Journal right here’s what happened today
right
somebody did this is that and here’s
what how I did right that night it’s it
at the time that I’m provoked I think it
isn’t clear because I’m in this pressure
to respond but at night when I look over
what happened during the daytime and I
say did I handle that in the best way
possible could I have done something
better and that becomes a lesson for the
next time so I think keeping a journal
about anger and how we respond to it is
an excellent way element because
ultimately if I am enraged it doesn’t
hurt the other person as much as it hurts me
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