Press "Enter" to skip to content

Self-Confidence: You vs. You


So, I just had a quick meeting in Ventura, Oxnard, early in the morning.
If you recognize this place — that, right there, is Raffi’s place.
One of the best restaurants in the world.
Came from Ventura, visited my dad, went to Delicate Cosmetics, our good family there.
What a business!
Great success story on what they’ve built as a family.
They’ve built an incredible business for themselves, making makeup for some of the big companies
in the world.
And then Tom and I are out here getting in the car to head back to the airport, after
having Raffi’s place.
We’ve got to drop off the rental car.
You know, I was in Ventura this morning and Oxnard, California and we were having a conversation
with some of these guys and one of the questions that I was asked was, “Pat, tell me about
confidence.
What can I do to improve my confidence?”
And I said, you know, everybody is asking for like a seven-step process to having more
confidence, right?
But, to me, confidence stems from a couple of different things.
I’m going to talk about two different things in this video, one of them being how to be
more confident.
Listen, no matter you do, a person who’s a criminal who’s extremely confident, a man
who’s a player who’s extremely confident with women, a businessman who’s extremely good
at what he does with business, a person who runs anything — a coach, an athlete — anybody
who’s extremely confident at what they do, it’s not just a natural state.
Yes, some people could naturally come across as more confident than others and it could
be from positive reinforcement, from their families telling them how amazing they are,
or a good mentor or a wife that tells them how amazing — yes, all of that plays a very
big role.
There is a role that plays with that.
But some cultures, some nationalities, they’re not raised in an environment where somebody’s
telling them how amazing they are.
If you come from the Middle East, the Asian community, that community is not about “Oh,
you’re so awesome, you’re going to do so great things.”
No, it’s like, “you didn’t do this, you didn’t do that.”
So there is a part that plays a role, but not as big as we think.
But the thing that I brought up is, I said, “Look, if you don’t have confidence in yourself,
it’s because what you say and what you do are not aligned.
So what do I mean by that?
If you say, “Hey, the key to success is hard work” but you’re not working hard, you don’t
have confidence, because you know you’re not being honest with the man in the mirror, or
the woman in the mirror, right?
If you say, “you know, you’ve got to save money” but then if you’re not saving money,
because internally you’re having a battle that no one sees, it’s a hypocritical battle,
because inside, you don’t respect yourself because you know what you are saying is not
what you’re doing, so you don’t feel good about yourself, so there’s a lack of confidence
in you.
So, the people who have a lot of confidence, what they say and what they do, they have
a lot of belief in it.
Because they’re doing it.
The key to success in business is if you work hard, and go out there and you make the calls,
you do this, you do that, and you’re doing it, people are going to buy.
And so then the other side of it comes, where it’s having leadership with influence.
Leadership with influence.
So one is confidence — so you have confidence in you; it’s an internal battle.
It’s an internal game.
You vs. You.
Right?
Confidence.
Then you have people that you say, “Man, how does this person have so much influence over
people?
Why is it that these people respond to what he has to say or what she has to say?”
Right?
That comes down to what?
Moral authority.
And here’s what moral authority is.
If what you are doing and what you are saying is aligned in your mind, and then eventually,
you now have the moral authority for you to talk about that, because you know the details
about how to have confidence in business and succeed, then others listen to you and then
you have influence.
Now all there certain anomalies of people that write a key to success and the next thing
you know, the book blows up and, you know, but they’ve never really worked hard, they
just wrote a book that did very good.
Yes, there are some people like that.
But I don’t want to subscribe to the anomaly.
I don’t want to subscribe to the exception.
I want to figure out a formula that I can replicate, that can bring me results.
That’s what I’m looking for.
So, if you’re looking for confidence, always always ask yourself if what you say is it
what you do?
What you do, is it aligned with what you say?
If it is, you believe in yourself.
If it’s not, you don’t like yourself.
And when you don’t like yourself, you’re insecure, you don’t like what you’re doing, you don’t
really like being around, you yourself, you don’t like this person because this person
is full of it.
There’s not an alignment with what this guy believes and does.
There’s a lot of internal battles.
And let me tell you, the worst type of battles are not a battle with anybody else outside.
The worst, most painful, frustrating battles I’ve ever faced in my life is me against me.
Biggest.
It’s never been against anybody else.
It’s been me against me.
It’s been Pat vs. Pat.
It’s been the biggest battles of my life is Pat vs. Pat — nothing else.
So once these words match the behavior, confidence goes up.
And once enough people start realizing that what you say and what you do matches the behavior,
moral authority leads to influence, leads to action, leads to other people wanting to
work with you, to learn from you, to be around you, to be influence by you, then there’s
success, there’s growth, there’s results, then there’s lifestyle, then there’s credibility,
then there’s a man sitting in the car next to you driving like a race car driver.
Tom, this is like you’re thinking you’re a race car driver right now.
You should see how he’s driving.That’s the food that dropped from Raffi’s place.
It sounded more like a body.
It’s like a rental car we got and we haven’t checked the trunk yet.
So another thought is we’re here in California, and let me tell you what California freaks
out the most — when I wear this shirt, and I’m walking around with this shirt, oooohhhh,
they love this shirt.
I love capitalism.
I love capitalism.
And I get some people that commented and say, “Who are you?
You’re the worst person in the world, promoting capitalism.
I thought you were a nice person.”
So just because I believe in capitalism I’m a bad person now?
Anyways, so if you haven’t subscribed to the channel, please do so.
If you’ve got questions to follow up with on confidence, and moral authority and influence,
message on the bottom, and you’d like to get one of these shirts, I love capitalism shirt,
you can go to patrickbetdavid.com and on there go to products
and under products, you will see the shirt, I love capitalism, and you can order one for
yourself and sport it in your community and watch the reaction you get from people who
disagree with you, but more importantly, the people that do agree with you, they will all
come and talk to you.
Take care everybody, bye bye.
Please follow and like us: