one of the most loyal entrepreneurs to
value taemin is Peter strata from
Manchester United Peter this episode is
dedicated to question you ask you ask me
a question on a survey we send out a
couple weeks ago he said I’d like you to
do an episode on how to handle this
gruntal former team members so we
changed up the title and the title is
how to deal with a victim mentality team
member and this could be former it could
be existent I’d rather figure it out now
so we can solve it I don’t have to
constantly have Informer and we can
resolve the issue now typically most of
the time you know a lot of these things
can be resolved based on dealing direct
and communicating with them but the
first thing I want you to know is being
able to read who’s not happy right
there’s a sign to be able to read who’s
not happy about what they’re doing so
first we’re going to cover seven keys
qualities of a victim mentality then I’m
going to talk about what things you need
to do to be able to work with this so
you know first things first point number
one generally when someone becomes a
victim and they weren’t before generally
they have way too much time on their
hands
and they stop working generally they’re
no longer as productive so they have way
too much time on their hands and they
stop working the moment we become way
too idle we think about bad things we
start thinking about very very weird
things everyone becomes enemy everyone’s
afterwards everyone is this this is why
sometimes the schizophrenia key and
you’re sometimes the most paranoid
people as they get it’s just way too
much because they think everyone’s after
them right it’s not you just have way
too much time on your hands so number
one is too much idle time number two
they start blaming they become very good
at blaming everybody everything other
people’s fault except theirs everything
you did it you didn’t do this you didn’t
treatment right remember that one time
the promotion did this this does
everything is blame nothing is personal
responsibility
everything is blamed number three is
justified they start justifying
everything why they’re a victim right so
a you know idle time blame than just
justifying so you don’t understand life
is not all about money you don’t say you
work too hard
you know in basting they typically hide
behind their faith I need to be more
involved in my faith and that I need to
be more about my family I need to as if
you can’t do that or do all that stuff
at the same time and they are more noble
than everybody else all those people
that work they’re not noble because they
are just a fine
now keep them on everybody I don’t care
who you are at some point whether we
were a kid or a young adult or teenager
we have Parfum we know how to blame and
how to justify and we’ve had idle time
so this isn’t anything new that your
superior and other people are this
everyone’s meant to do this before it’s
just no enough to fall back into it
again point number four they spread
negativity to others they’re incredible
at spreading negativity all you know
what I just you know the boss is doing
this you know the CEO did you see the
CEO any all the seal did you see the
person here that guy at the top you know
the guy over here the vice-chairman the
divide this the original vice-president
these guys are making the money that
guy’s making the money this guy’s doing
is that guy everything they started they
started spreading negativity there’s so
great at spreading negativity and most
people unfortunately most entrepreneurs
team leaders executives don’t get to
that too early they get to the way too
late so now they have multiple other
people that become negative point number
five which has to do with number four so
number four is what they spread their
negativity spread their negative
negativity number five there’s some of
the best recruiters in the world it is a
lot easier to recruit people to a
negative message into a positive message
I know this sounds strange what do you
mean by that
just think about more people have
subscribed to negative thinking and
fear-based and positive thinking how
many people in your life out of ten
people are positive tell me how many
nine out of ten come on now you’d
probably say nine out of ten is negative
why it’s easier to recruit people to
negative thinking it’s easier to recruit
people to justify it’s easier to recruit
people to blame it’s easier to recruit
people to be idle it’s easy to recruit
people to things smaller it’s very easy
it’s tough to get people to stay
positive and move in our stop it’s too
much I’m tired I’m just that’s so these
guys become the best recruiter so if you
don’t get to them early they know how to
recruit all the other negative people
and convert them very quickly
number six is they spread their
negativity but number six is they spread
rumors rumors are not true but they
start spreading rumors or did you know
or did you know hey woody thing by that
did you know did you know he was doing
this digitally do you know what happened
did you know this did you know in the
past or you weren’t around here the
general used to do this the general used
to do that and pong to become great
recruit new people are like we’re very
good attitude are oh he was like that or
he did this
she did everything oh my gosh they’re
great at spreading rumors very good by
the way all of these are also great
things that your enemy your competitors
do to recruit people away from your
business know that part as well so they
spread rumors and in the last but not
least the challenge with the qualities
of a victim of mentality is this is a
never ending issue and let me explain to
what I mean by this forget if they leave
your company let’s just say this is you
and your sin you’re watching this video
by yourself like oh my gosh I feel like
he’s talking about me right now so you
don’t comment on the bottom where you
get to value out of it that’s fine it’ll
be our secret you and I the challenge
with someone who’s got a victim
mentality is forget about who they work
with forget about who they’re in
business with I have a family member of
mine a very close family member of mine
that my sister and I talk about all the
time this person lived in so many
different places and every time they did
it was always other people with the
problems but eventually this person
ended up having problems with everybody
you know why because guess who followed
this person every time they went they
did this person was with themselves the
entire time in their life everywhere
they go they’re with them so to
challenge what a victim is no matter
where he goes no matter where she goes
they’re with themselves they’re gonna
problem at the net job next company next
this next step next is anytime I hire
somebody new or bring somebody new on
board that’s want to work with a sales
executive whatever it is and they
started like this or the last company
treated us like this and treated us like
how about all the other one too CEO is
this if they talk bad about two three
four people there the problem now you
got to be wise enough to know where the
problem is the prom is not with
everybody in the world they’re the
problem the problem is them the problem
is are you there the problem right so
let’s continue now so we have seven
things we just covered idle time they
blame they justify they spread
negativity they’re great at recruiting
other victims and converting people into
victims they spread rumors and a last
but not least this is a never ending
issue for them for the rest of their
lives so now what to do when this
happens I’ve experienced this so many
times over my career
and the worst thing you can do is
overreact worst thing you can do is over
yet this happens in your family this
happens in your friendship this happens
in business this happens in every
relationship you’re going to have no one
how to handle is the key the worst thing
you can do is just hide and not want to
do anything you know what the best books
in this area is Crucial Conversations
Crucial Conversations by far the best
book to go through and read on this
topic so now let’s get into so what are
you when this happens my number one
thing that I do is immediately I want to
meet with them and if their spouse is
involved with the business or if it’s
not if it’s an executive and it’s just
the executive I meet with the executive
alone if it’s something that’s sales and
maybe they’re doing a business what
husband or wife to get I want to meet
with them of the husband together but
generally I meet with them immediately
so now my number one is I meet with them
immediately number two I asked them why
they got involved with the company in
the first place why did you get them all
with this why’d you work with this why
are you doing this and they’ll say well
you know I did it because I wanted to do
this this this this that or I thought I
I could do this why don’t you get them
on the industry why are you here with
the company what you were excited at one
point what happened what change what
took place so number one is you know you
know why they got involved in the first
place and I asked them the goals they
tell me about the goals all that’s up
they tell me that okay number three then
I ask are those things still important
to you when I’m meeting with them are
dorsum still important to you what do
you mean do you still want to do that
stuff do you still have those same
feelings do you still want those things
to become true do you still want to be
part of those projects and they’ll
typically tell you if they say what yes
then great this can be saved if they say
no the man I mean it’s the end of the
relationship and it’s fine not all
relationships are going to work out no I
don’t want to be then you’re
automatically working on you know
possible exit strategy etc etc or maybe
I’m digging a little bit deeper we’re
asking more questions the next one is
find out what the challenges were and
help them clear up like what happened
you know what I remember you were like
this now you’re like this what happened
what challenges are you facing what’s
difficult who are you not happy with did
I do something
is something happened with the company
did a team member do something and you’d
be amazed how many times there is
something that you didn’t even know
about
gosh it was that small of a thing truly
80% of the time is something this small
that they just don’t want to bring up
because remember most people do what
they avoid conflict they don’t want to
have comp most people can’t stand
conflict and and and to build anything
big you have to deal with conflicts so
they would rather not bring it up to
you’ll bring it up to anybody that’s
their superior because they would rather
run and fly away and run away and go to
another place flight right so ask what
about the challenge and then ask them a
simple question if they would like
things to change
would you like things to change would
you like this relation with this
business to get better you would you
like your excitement which I would would
you like things to get better like you
once for six months ago nine months yes
I would would you like it yes I would
know I don’t know not at all okay right
then if they say no at all and they’re
completely being disgruntled about it
you have a few choices you can either
leave them on for a while see if
something changes or you can ask them to
leave we can ask them take a break we
have an option on what to do ask them to
leave give them a break ask them ask
them to leave give them some space for a
few weeks or ask them to take a break
but it’s one of the two okay if you want
to fire them you can fire them if you
can fire them if it’s an employee if it
sells you don’t want to fire them you
can ask them to leave kindly right then
after that is study trends I like to
study trends of anybody that’s working
with me because you generally no one
knows more about your team members that
you’re working with in the work
environment then you because you’re
working with them so whoever’s working
closely with them I want to find out the
trends of that human being for instance
someone’s not happy what is the trend
are they always bitching or is it a new
thing it is it always negative like I
had somebody who calls and says all you
don’t understand this person is just
terrible they’re dis they’re dis than
that and what they don’t realize is that
I know that person’s trends they’re the
problem nobody else is the primer on
them they’re the problem but they think
everybody else to prom because you’re a
victim I know this other person’s trend
they’ve been solid for me from the day
one they started working with me this
person has not so the value the
credibility of this person bitching to
me and complaining to me is this much
there’s not a lot of credibility she
this person’s already been caught six
seven times that blames everybody else
and it’s really his fault or her fault
right
so trend study trends that point number
six I think it’s point number six right
yet six study the trends of that human
being and you know who the person so
study the trends on how their behavior
has been and see if it’s consistent with
the way they’ve always behaved or if
it’s new if it’s new sometimes when
somebody completely changes and you
don’t recognize them
I generally it’s like a kid you know
when a kid are like I remember when at
one point my relationship completely
changed when my mom would like to data
when I was a kid and I’m like why and I
know because it was two kids I met that
were terrible influence on my life or
was a girl I met that completely was a
negative influence in my life right so
maybe they’re coming through that maybe
they’re going through that you know
sometimes as a leader you got to know
that the you know most people or like
the weather they change often not the
leader
most people leaders can’t change that
often because leaders got to stay strong
and they got a lead you’re a leader but
generally most people who are regular
people they change often like the
weather one day they’re happy wonder
there’s that one then there’s it and
hopefully you’re challenging to become
leaders right but you don’t know maybe
they just started dating a girl that the
girl just doesn’t like the way you see
things just doesn’t agree with your
belief system just doesn’t agree with
anything you say they may have a father
or a mother that doesn’t like the fact
that this person’s constantly saying oh
you know he’s so amazing he’s teaching
me the sequence you know what stop you
gotta trust them so maybe there is that
part corner maybe there’s a part that
you know they used to be the best and
they used to do very good and now you
have a new executive or new sales got a
new person that’s doing very well and
they don’t like that because they were
always a person and that there’s
somebody new that that kind of gives
them the victim part you know what this
person wasn’t there when I was with you
first 15 years ago or ten years ago or
five years ago said who is this person
so there may be that so you got to also
be a human leader and identify maybe
there’s something deeper there and
generally if you grab a paper pen I need
a paper and pen and I start processing
the issue of the human being and write
their track records and I go through
these questions I said this doesn’t make
any sense maybe there’s something let me
dig deeper right point number seven go
through qualities of a victim mentality
like I’ll generously look I just want
you to know this is a trend this is what
typically happens and
I’ve been there as well myself and we
fall on this trap when we start going
too much idle time when we have too much
idle time we start thinking about all
our problems then we start blaming then
we start justifying and we start
spreading negativity then we start
trying to tell other people to also buy
into what we’re building so we start
recruiting other victims then we spread
rumors then we’re going to be stuck with
us for the rest of our lives no one
wants that
you don’t want that I don’t want that so
this is why we like to change and we
like to Justin we like to improve now
you don’t have to do this but it’s a
choice you have a choice to stay the
same or you have a choice to improve
which one do you want I want to provoke
it great then when they agree to wanting
to improve I’ll generally recommend a
book something to listen to a video to
watch a movie to watch I’ll say read
this paper and I want you to read this
book and one can read this book and
finish it for me I’ll give me a week
okay great when you finish a book call
me send me a text and let’s get on a
call together we’ll set up a time I want
you to finish it by this time next
Friday four o’clock we’re having a call
to talk about the book no problem then
we talk about and have a call with the
book then I’ll make another
recommendation based on what they need
to be working on based on a book you can
recommend to them and then generally it
will improve little by little by little
by little by little and then you realize
okay this person’s improvement right so
the other part point number nine is as
you’re doing this look you can’t fake
this you got to be genuinely caring
about your team members you got to be
genuinely caring about the people that
are working with you if you study
alexander the people that ran through
the wall for alexander they knew
alexander will be the first to run
through the wall for them so there was a
certain level of loyalty if you look at
people that build an environment that i
mean it’s just incredible they know one
phone call away that dude’s got their
back so there’s an environment that you
got to genuinely care about whom a lot
of people you got to generally care
about people you got to generally care
about that person’s story there goes
their dreams and if it’s fake
people will tell all the time but people
can tell 100 percent of time it must be
genuine next point number 10 you hold
them accountable so what can I expect
from you moving forward what’s going to
change with you moving forward you get
Lou you let them tell you what’s going
to change with them moving forward and
they’ll generally tell you I’m going to
do this I’m going to do that I’m gonna
do this I’m gonna do it okay great we’ll
have a call next Friday we’ll have a
college
a month from that and two months three
months a nimble hopefully this can
improve great point over 12 is what
number 11 is if they fall once or twice
and maybe they get a little funky again
but they come back up and they fall and
they have a little bit of a funk again
and they come back up give them a second
or third chance you know but then
there’s a time that if they’re leaders
that you got to have higher expectation
from them then there’s a different story
if they at all show no desire to want to
improve and change at all whatsoever
they’re getting even more negativity
blame and more justifying more spreading
more negative is spreading more rumors
in my career I’ve had to do this maybe
five or ten times and I remember every
single if I were to write it down I can
tell you each of the stories last one is
if things get worse
you ask them to leave and take a 90-day
break and I’ve had to do this about ten
times in my career I’ll simply ask them
to take a break and I’ll say look I
think it’s the time you take a break if
it’s employer asking this is just not
for you got to find another place to go
work if you don’t want to be here you
don’t need to be or we want people that
want to be here and you gently ask them
to leave the key is to be gentle about
people leaving because at the end of the
day you are dealing with relationships
you are dealing with human beings you
are dealing with people that also have
emotions hearts they got feelings these
are regular people that also have
feelings then you ask them to take a
break because I think if you don’t do
that you don’t ever want to have a team
that doesn’t want to be there if you
have a team that people don’t want to be
there you don’t get the most out of
people if you don’t if you don’t give
them that opportunity to know that they
need to leave go to a different place so
there’s couple ways of looking at it one
is what to do so this doesn’t happen I
just so you know I speak on this in
front of my leaders I train on this in
front of my executives I train on this
on my in front of my sales force why so
anytime anybody decides to become a
victim everybody knows and everybody
says ooh you sound like a victim
mentality don’t wait for it to happen
before you teach on this teach on this
now and create this culture with
everybody now I had a very strong leader
in my home office executive team in the
last two weeks how much what
two more minutes okay the last couple
weeks I did this twice and I brought it
up to them and I brought it up again in
front the entire staff came to six or
seven points that I had because this is
six or seven areas I want us to improve
it and we did there’s been a lot of
progress everyone’s having their own
leadership meetings they’re improving
things are getting faster deadlines are
being hit things that I wanted to see
happen but too often we wait till the
crisis happens to say here’s what we’re
going to do it’s already too late
start early always start early to create
the right culture and remember that when
your leader building things you got to
have a way to lead people without
passing judgment accepting the fact that
everybody’s different not everyone’s the
same and you as the leader are going to
be judged on how well you can get the
best out of your people and if you can
get the best out of your people the rest
is history
well I’m by the way I need your help
with something el you could you throw me
the pillow there we go hey I need your
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value taemin is Peter strata from
Manchester United Peter this episode is
dedicated to question you ask you ask me
a question on a survey we send out a
couple weeks ago he said I’d like you to
do an episode on how to handle this
gruntal former team members so we
changed up the title and the title is
how to deal with a victim mentality team
member and this could be former it could
be existent I’d rather figure it out now
so we can solve it I don’t have to
constantly have Informer and we can
resolve the issue now typically most of
the time you know a lot of these things
can be resolved based on dealing direct
and communicating with them but the
first thing I want you to know is being
able to read who’s not happy right
there’s a sign to be able to read who’s
not happy about what they’re doing so
first we’re going to cover seven keys
qualities of a victim mentality then I’m
going to talk about what things you need
to do to be able to work with this so
you know first things first point number
one generally when someone becomes a
victim and they weren’t before generally
they have way too much time on their
hands
and they stop working generally they’re
no longer as productive so they have way
too much time on their hands and they
stop working the moment we become way
too idle we think about bad things we
start thinking about very very weird
things everyone becomes enemy everyone’s
afterwards everyone is this this is why
sometimes the schizophrenia key and
you’re sometimes the most paranoid
people as they get it’s just way too
much because they think everyone’s after
them right it’s not you just have way
too much time on your hands so number
one is too much idle time number two
they start blaming they become very good
at blaming everybody everything other
people’s fault except theirs everything
you did it you didn’t do this you didn’t
treatment right remember that one time
the promotion did this this does
everything is blame nothing is personal
responsibility
everything is blamed number three is
justified they start justifying
everything why they’re a victim right so
a you know idle time blame than just
justifying so you don’t understand life
is not all about money you don’t say you
work too hard
you know in basting they typically hide
behind their faith I need to be more
involved in my faith and that I need to
be more about my family I need to as if
you can’t do that or do all that stuff
at the same time and they are more noble
than everybody else all those people
that work they’re not noble because they
are just a fine
now keep them on everybody I don’t care
who you are at some point whether we
were a kid or a young adult or teenager
we have Parfum we know how to blame and
how to justify and we’ve had idle time
so this isn’t anything new that your
superior and other people are this
everyone’s meant to do this before it’s
just no enough to fall back into it
again point number four they spread
negativity to others they’re incredible
at spreading negativity all you know
what I just you know the boss is doing
this you know the CEO did you see the
CEO any all the seal did you see the
person here that guy at the top you know
the guy over here the vice-chairman the
divide this the original vice-president
these guys are making the money that
guy’s making the money this guy’s doing
is that guy everything they started they
started spreading negativity there’s so
great at spreading negativity and most
people unfortunately most entrepreneurs
team leaders executives don’t get to
that too early they get to the way too
late so now they have multiple other
people that become negative point number
five which has to do with number four so
number four is what they spread their
negativity spread their negative
negativity number five there’s some of
the best recruiters in the world it is a
lot easier to recruit people to a
negative message into a positive message
I know this sounds strange what do you
mean by that
just think about more people have
subscribed to negative thinking and
fear-based and positive thinking how
many people in your life out of ten
people are positive tell me how many
nine out of ten come on now you’d
probably say nine out of ten is negative
why it’s easier to recruit people to
negative thinking it’s easier to recruit
people to justify it’s easier to recruit
people to blame it’s easier to recruit
people to be idle it’s easy to recruit
people to things smaller it’s very easy
it’s tough to get people to stay
positive and move in our stop it’s too
much I’m tired I’m just that’s so these
guys become the best recruiter so if you
don’t get to them early they know how to
recruit all the other negative people
and convert them very quickly
number six is they spread their
negativity but number six is they spread
rumors rumors are not true but they
start spreading rumors or did you know
or did you know hey woody thing by that
did you know did you know he was doing
this digitally do you know what happened
did you know this did you know in the
past or you weren’t around here the
general used to do this the general used
to do that and pong to become great
recruit new people are like we’re very
good attitude are oh he was like that or
he did this
she did everything oh my gosh they’re
great at spreading rumors very good by
the way all of these are also great
things that your enemy your competitors
do to recruit people away from your
business know that part as well so they
spread rumors and in the last but not
least the challenge with the qualities
of a victim of mentality is this is a
never ending issue and let me explain to
what I mean by this forget if they leave
your company let’s just say this is you
and your sin you’re watching this video
by yourself like oh my gosh I feel like
he’s talking about me right now so you
don’t comment on the bottom where you
get to value out of it that’s fine it’ll
be our secret you and I the challenge
with someone who’s got a victim
mentality is forget about who they work
with forget about who they’re in
business with I have a family member of
mine a very close family member of mine
that my sister and I talk about all the
time this person lived in so many
different places and every time they did
it was always other people with the
problems but eventually this person
ended up having problems with everybody
you know why because guess who followed
this person every time they went they
did this person was with themselves the
entire time in their life everywhere
they go they’re with them so to
challenge what a victim is no matter
where he goes no matter where she goes
they’re with themselves they’re gonna
problem at the net job next company next
this next step next is anytime I hire
somebody new or bring somebody new on
board that’s want to work with a sales
executive whatever it is and they
started like this or the last company
treated us like this and treated us like
how about all the other one too CEO is
this if they talk bad about two three
four people there the problem now you
got to be wise enough to know where the
problem is the prom is not with
everybody in the world they’re the
problem the problem is them the problem
is are you there the problem right so
let’s continue now so we have seven
things we just covered idle time they
blame they justify they spread
negativity they’re great at recruiting
other victims and converting people into
victims they spread rumors and a last
but not least this is a never ending
issue for them for the rest of their
lives so now what to do when this
happens I’ve experienced this so many
times over my career
and the worst thing you can do is
overreact worst thing you can do is over
yet this happens in your family this
happens in your friendship this happens
in business this happens in every
relationship you’re going to have no one
how to handle is the key the worst thing
you can do is just hide and not want to
do anything you know what the best books
in this area is Crucial Conversations
Crucial Conversations by far the best
book to go through and read on this
topic so now let’s get into so what are
you when this happens my number one
thing that I do is immediately I want to
meet with them and if their spouse is
involved with the business or if it’s
not if it’s an executive and it’s just
the executive I meet with the executive
alone if it’s something that’s sales and
maybe they’re doing a business what
husband or wife to get I want to meet
with them of the husband together but
generally I meet with them immediately
so now my number one is I meet with them
immediately number two I asked them why
they got involved with the company in
the first place why did you get them all
with this why’d you work with this why
are you doing this and they’ll say well
you know I did it because I wanted to do
this this this this that or I thought I
I could do this why don’t you get them
on the industry why are you here with
the company what you were excited at one
point what happened what change what
took place so number one is you know you
know why they got involved in the first
place and I asked them the goals they
tell me about the goals all that’s up
they tell me that okay number three then
I ask are those things still important
to you when I’m meeting with them are
dorsum still important to you what do
you mean do you still want to do that
stuff do you still have those same
feelings do you still want those things
to become true do you still want to be
part of those projects and they’ll
typically tell you if they say what yes
then great this can be saved if they say
no the man I mean it’s the end of the
relationship and it’s fine not all
relationships are going to work out no I
don’t want to be then you’re
automatically working on you know
possible exit strategy etc etc or maybe
I’m digging a little bit deeper we’re
asking more questions the next one is
find out what the challenges were and
help them clear up like what happened
you know what I remember you were like
this now you’re like this what happened
what challenges are you facing what’s
difficult who are you not happy with did
I do something
is something happened with the company
did a team member do something and you’d
be amazed how many times there is
something that you didn’t even know
about
gosh it was that small of a thing truly
80% of the time is something this small
that they just don’t want to bring up
because remember most people do what
they avoid conflict they don’t want to
have comp most people can’t stand
conflict and and and to build anything
big you have to deal with conflicts so
they would rather not bring it up to
you’ll bring it up to anybody that’s
their superior because they would rather
run and fly away and run away and go to
another place flight right so ask what
about the challenge and then ask them a
simple question if they would like
things to change
would you like things to change would
you like this relation with this
business to get better you would you
like your excitement which I would would
you like things to get better like you
once for six months ago nine months yes
I would would you like it yes I would
know I don’t know not at all okay right
then if they say no at all and they’re
completely being disgruntled about it
you have a few choices you can either
leave them on for a while see if
something changes or you can ask them to
leave we can ask them take a break we
have an option on what to do ask them to
leave give them a break ask them ask
them to leave give them some space for a
few weeks or ask them to take a break
but it’s one of the two okay if you want
to fire them you can fire them if you
can fire them if it’s an employee if it
sells you don’t want to fire them you
can ask them to leave kindly right then
after that is study trends I like to
study trends of anybody that’s working
with me because you generally no one
knows more about your team members that
you’re working with in the work
environment then you because you’re
working with them so whoever’s working
closely with them I want to find out the
trends of that human being for instance
someone’s not happy what is the trend
are they always bitching or is it a new
thing it is it always negative like I
had somebody who calls and says all you
don’t understand this person is just
terrible they’re dis they’re dis than
that and what they don’t realize is that
I know that person’s trends they’re the
problem nobody else is the primer on
them they’re the problem but they think
everybody else to prom because you’re a
victim I know this other person’s trend
they’ve been solid for me from the day
one they started working with me this
person has not so the value the
credibility of this person bitching to
me and complaining to me is this much
there’s not a lot of credibility she
this person’s already been caught six
seven times that blames everybody else
and it’s really his fault or her fault
right
so trend study trends that point number
six I think it’s point number six right
yet six study the trends of that human
being and you know who the person so
study the trends on how their behavior
has been and see if it’s consistent with
the way they’ve always behaved or if
it’s new if it’s new sometimes when
somebody completely changes and you
don’t recognize them
I generally it’s like a kid you know
when a kid are like I remember when at
one point my relationship completely
changed when my mom would like to data
when I was a kid and I’m like why and I
know because it was two kids I met that
were terrible influence on my life or
was a girl I met that completely was a
negative influence in my life right so
maybe they’re coming through that maybe
they’re going through that you know
sometimes as a leader you got to know
that the you know most people or like
the weather they change often not the
leader
most people leaders can’t change that
often because leaders got to stay strong
and they got a lead you’re a leader but
generally most people who are regular
people they change often like the
weather one day they’re happy wonder
there’s that one then there’s it and
hopefully you’re challenging to become
leaders right but you don’t know maybe
they just started dating a girl that the
girl just doesn’t like the way you see
things just doesn’t agree with your
belief system just doesn’t agree with
anything you say they may have a father
or a mother that doesn’t like the fact
that this person’s constantly saying oh
you know he’s so amazing he’s teaching
me the sequence you know what stop you
gotta trust them so maybe there is that
part corner maybe there’s a part that
you know they used to be the best and
they used to do very good and now you
have a new executive or new sales got a
new person that’s doing very well and
they don’t like that because they were
always a person and that there’s
somebody new that that kind of gives
them the victim part you know what this
person wasn’t there when I was with you
first 15 years ago or ten years ago or
five years ago said who is this person
so there may be that so you got to also
be a human leader and identify maybe
there’s something deeper there and
generally if you grab a paper pen I need
a paper and pen and I start processing
the issue of the human being and write
their track records and I go through
these questions I said this doesn’t make
any sense maybe there’s something let me
dig deeper right point number seven go
through qualities of a victim mentality
like I’ll generously look I just want
you to know this is a trend this is what
typically happens and
I’ve been there as well myself and we
fall on this trap when we start going
too much idle time when we have too much
idle time we start thinking about all
our problems then we start blaming then
we start justifying and we start
spreading negativity then we start
trying to tell other people to also buy
into what we’re building so we start
recruiting other victims then we spread
rumors then we’re going to be stuck with
us for the rest of our lives no one
wants that
you don’t want that I don’t want that so
this is why we like to change and we
like to Justin we like to improve now
you don’t have to do this but it’s a
choice you have a choice to stay the
same or you have a choice to improve
which one do you want I want to provoke
it great then when they agree to wanting
to improve I’ll generally recommend a
book something to listen to a video to
watch a movie to watch I’ll say read
this paper and I want you to read this
book and one can read this book and
finish it for me I’ll give me a week
okay great when you finish a book call
me send me a text and let’s get on a
call together we’ll set up a time I want
you to finish it by this time next
Friday four o’clock we’re having a call
to talk about the book no problem then
we talk about and have a call with the
book then I’ll make another
recommendation based on what they need
to be working on based on a book you can
recommend to them and then generally it
will improve little by little by little
by little by little and then you realize
okay this person’s improvement right so
the other part point number nine is as
you’re doing this look you can’t fake
this you got to be genuinely caring
about your team members you got to be
genuinely caring about the people that
are working with you if you study
alexander the people that ran through
the wall for alexander they knew
alexander will be the first to run
through the wall for them so there was a
certain level of loyalty if you look at
people that build an environment that i
mean it’s just incredible they know one
phone call away that dude’s got their
back so there’s an environment that you
got to genuinely care about whom a lot
of people you got to generally care
about people you got to generally care
about that person’s story there goes
their dreams and if it’s fake
people will tell all the time but people
can tell 100 percent of time it must be
genuine next point number 10 you hold
them accountable so what can I expect
from you moving forward what’s going to
change with you moving forward you get
Lou you let them tell you what’s going
to change with them moving forward and
they’ll generally tell you I’m going to
do this I’m going to do that I’m gonna
do this I’m gonna do it okay great we’ll
have a call next Friday we’ll have a
college
a month from that and two months three
months a nimble hopefully this can
improve great point over 12 is what
number 11 is if they fall once or twice
and maybe they get a little funky again
but they come back up and they fall and
they have a little bit of a funk again
and they come back up give them a second
or third chance you know but then
there’s a time that if they’re leaders
that you got to have higher expectation
from them then there’s a different story
if they at all show no desire to want to
improve and change at all whatsoever
they’re getting even more negativity
blame and more justifying more spreading
more negative is spreading more rumors
in my career I’ve had to do this maybe
five or ten times and I remember every
single if I were to write it down I can
tell you each of the stories last one is
if things get worse
you ask them to leave and take a 90-day
break and I’ve had to do this about ten
times in my career I’ll simply ask them
to take a break and I’ll say look I
think it’s the time you take a break if
it’s employer asking this is just not
for you got to find another place to go
work if you don’t want to be here you
don’t need to be or we want people that
want to be here and you gently ask them
to leave the key is to be gentle about
people leaving because at the end of the
day you are dealing with relationships
you are dealing with human beings you
are dealing with people that also have
emotions hearts they got feelings these
are regular people that also have
feelings then you ask them to take a
break because I think if you don’t do
that you don’t ever want to have a team
that doesn’t want to be there if you
have a team that people don’t want to be
there you don’t get the most out of
people if you don’t if you don’t give
them that opportunity to know that they
need to leave go to a different place so
there’s couple ways of looking at it one
is what to do so this doesn’t happen I
just so you know I speak on this in
front of my leaders I train on this in
front of my executives I train on this
on my in front of my sales force why so
anytime anybody decides to become a
victim everybody knows and everybody
says ooh you sound like a victim
mentality don’t wait for it to happen
before you teach on this teach on this
now and create this culture with
everybody now I had a very strong leader
in my home office executive team in the
last two weeks how much what
two more minutes okay the last couple
weeks I did this twice and I brought it
up to them and I brought it up again in
front the entire staff came to six or
seven points that I had because this is
six or seven areas I want us to improve
it and we did there’s been a lot of
progress everyone’s having their own
leadership meetings they’re improving
things are getting faster deadlines are
being hit things that I wanted to see
happen but too often we wait till the
crisis happens to say here’s what we’re
going to do it’s already too late
start early always start early to create
the right culture and remember that when
your leader building things you got to
have a way to lead people without
passing judgment accepting the fact that
everybody’s different not everyone’s the
same and you as the leader are going to
be judged on how well you can get the
best out of your people and if you can
get the best out of your people the rest
is history
well I’m by the way I need your help
with something el you could you throw me
the pillow there we go hey I need your
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