I am very curious with your story
because the deeper I got the more
interested I got with the whole thing
legendary Navy SEAL Chris Kyle gunned
down at a Texas shooting range over the
weekend if you shoot up a school
you’re erased you go to jail we do your
trial you don’t exist so why are we
giving them a voice look here my brother
came by here he told me that he
committed a murder
shooting is great for people who love to
do it but it’s not good for people who
are obviously not stable
we’re told that young suspect idolized
the sniper Chris Kyle do you think any
of that could have been prevented you
knew what you were getting into when you
got married that is such crap what was
different about your marriage for you
guys to be able to last as long as you
guys did and she said are you okay and I
have you heard and I said heard what and
she said oh nothing and I said heard
so today I have a special guest with me
who’s the author of American wife as
well as to her new book coming out
American spirit and she’s also the wife
of Chris Kyle who wrote the book it
ended up becoming a movie American
sniper starring Bradley Cooper and
that’s none other than taya Kyle taya
thanks for being on that and with that
you know the more and more I go into the
stories and the entries and all the
things I look at on what you had to go
through the story the movie there are so
many amazing scenes myself being in the
military there are a lot of different
aspects we watch so many marriages how
it was the difficulty the challenges of
raising kids all these things that takes
place it’s very technical a lot of times
from the civilian side people don’t know
all the details the challenges the
struggles has been a mother a wife a
supportive wife trying to make it work
two and a half years he’s away on a
three-year time I mean it’s just
challenging times and at the same time
you want to support so I got a lot of
angles I want to go through with it but
prior to doing that I think it’s best we
just start off with we know the movie we
see the stories we see what it was like
when you guys first met at the bar how
close is that to actually how it was
when you met him the first time how it
is with you guys were like suddenly
single after three years it’s pretty
spot-on they did a good job really
trying to make sure that the facts and
details were accurate even the guys that
did the props wanted to get it right for
my kids and I think that was pretty
special but yeah I did I drank scotch
that night on the rocks and it came back
up and Chris held my hair back just like
Bradley did for Sienna in the movie and
so a few of the details are changed just
because you have to make it really
concise that’s about it so it was it per
question he had to take a shot did that
happen
so that part and did the guy come up who
says hey how you doing can I tell you
said hey if you were six inches taller
and you didn’t put your wedding you know
band away did that also happen or now
well I was I was disagreeing strongly
with one of Chris’s friends when he
decided to kind of break up the
disagreement and say hi to me at the
same time so the writer Jason hall who’s
fabulous we talked quite a bit about how
do we actually he said what were you
arguing about ice I don’t know and he
said what would piss you off and I said
a married guy hitting on me
piss me off so that’s kind of how that
started so we just we created something
that’s as authentic as we can to who we
are and concise enough to put it in a
movie where it makes sense so I watch a
lot of Chris’s interviews and I and I
asked myself I said okay you know we’d
go out a lot as military and we party
along we cause a lot of havoc because
I’m sure he probably did that as well
cuz he seemed like a party guy seem like
a funny guy he seemed like a type of guy
that knew how to get the guys to like
him and he probably had a lot of friends
around him but his flirting style seemed
different than some guys was it just the
fact that he was just so real genuine
just himself like almost the kind of guy
that just here’s Who I am I think you’re
pretty and still seem a little witty was
that his approach yeah you know it’s
interesting you’re very perceptive
because a lot of people don’t pick up on
the fact that he had such a good sense
of humor because our story has been
portrayed with the drama being sort of
the focus point and he was extremely
funny and exactly how you described and
yeah you know it’s interesting he really
wasn’t a flirt which is interesting I
used to tell him you should write a book
on how men can charm women because he
legitimately authentically had this very
romantic side and came up with some of
the best things he would say I mean I
remember before we were engaged and he
said you know if I could sit with God
and he asked me to create the perfect
woman I couldn’t have even created you
because I wouldn’t have dreamed you I
would get help right right
heya Playa he’s the baby so he was so
serious and I mean we were sitting in
front of a bonfire and I was sitting on
his lap and he had his arms around me
and I was like oh my god and this the
way he said it right thought I was like
it was like he went to a depth of his
being to say that and he was vulnerable
and he wasn’t vulnerable a lot so I
think when he would do that kind of
thing with you you were like oh my gosh
like he really means it and that’s what
I picked up on the first night in the
bar when I found out he had just
graduated buds and he told me a few
other things he did instead that were
very funny and when I finally got him to
admit it you know I had an opinion of
Navy SEALs and I told him you know
egocentric you know glory-seeking all of
these things and he looked at me as if
you know I told him the sky was Green
and he said I would die for my country I
already said that it yeah he the first
time you met him first time I met him
and I was like whoa this guy and any
genuinely was asking how how could that
possibly be like it was confusing to him
it wasn’t confrontational and it wasn’t
defensive it was just how it’s got the
chill fellow my buddy
yes brandy depict that that’s so
Brotherhood unbelievable why would you
say I’m self-centered I lay down my life
for my country why this is the greatest
country on Earth I do everything I can
to protect it yeah he really got the
humility of Chris and the kindness of
Chris and I felt like that was a big
part of who Chris was and Bradley did an
accent which people told him not to do
right because that’s the kind of a risk
as an actor you can really throw the
movie if you don’t do it well but he
killed it so yeah that’s good and the
whole humility side your time up with
Chris is I watched him on Conan O’Brien
when he was being interviewed and I
think Conan said so what’s the
difference between SEAL team 3 and 6
this is well you know 3 is this and if
you want to get into 6 you kind of have
to do another boot camp to get into 6 he
says you know did you ever want to be in
six and he says not while I was in but
once I got it I wish I would have right
most people are not gonna say that you
know it’s not an answer you give you
would probably say no I was very proud
to serve with the team that I had but
you know I’m very respectful of SEAL
team 3 that’s like the politically
correct answer to you but he was just
flat-out saying I wish I would’ve done
it yeah you know it that just kind of
gave the side of you know the shucks you
know I wish you know it was a very
humble this is who I am I should have
probably done it I kind of made me it
made me want to like him even more yeah
and you know what people would meet him
all the time and say I hear this so
often I met him and I spent a little bit
of time with him and I felt like we were
gonna be best friends
he had that way about him because his
guard was down and he was he just like
you said he was who he was but if he was
talking to you he looked you in the eye
and if somebody was trying to get his
attention or he didn’t break eye contact
and he didn’t break the conversation
with who he’s talking to
he if a kid was talking to him it could
be thirty minutes and he gave him his
full attention until the kid would be
done and there could be a line waiting
there could be people talking on him it
doesn’t matter if he’s talking to you
he’s talking to you and I think that was
a big
part of his appeal he also was very
light-hearted about things and himself
which i think is he’s good you know you
see him on TV and he didn’t you know
Bill O’Reilly he wore a baseball hat
right this is me and I love that
unapologetic part of him that was just
this is me you’re gonna take me or leave
me and I’m okay with either even when I
first met him I mean I remember there
was a time I was on the phone with him
and I let him call me for a long time
you know and then one day my I found out
my aunt had died and so I called him and
a couple things impressed me and I
called one was he said how do you feel
about it right which was interesting
most people assume there and you know
how you feel about it you know and then
the next day was the part that impressed
me from that phone call he said when you
called and we got off the phone he said
I ran into the other room with all the
guys woke him up and started jumping on
their beds and saying take all day
called and I was like seriously we’re in
our twenties like I was so excited yes
and I started laughing he said they said
you would never call and I wouldn’t get
it he’s like I did though didn’t you
know he’s like I woke him up to tell him
and I thought that’s so unabashed right
yeah I can see guys like that yeah guys
like that what guys you like to hang out
with you were just real pew wanted those
tough guys yeah around you how were his
parents by the way was it a discipline
type of an environment of faith
environment was it a church-going
environment what kind of environment
really yeah oh they were great parents
you know they did go to church a couple
times a week and they christa knew the
bible really really well and you know
they were believers in discipline but it
was controlled right so you know never
hitting their kids in anger or anything
like that so but if you needed a
spanking you got a spanking but it was
like everybody was gonna be calm and you
know I mean I think it was very
principled principled and well thought
out yeah and how about yourself your
parents yeah my parents were phenomenal
I mean my mom was raised in Southern
California and my dad in Oregon so maybe
a little softer on on both of those
states but they definitely wanted me to
be polite and intelligent and take my
academics seriously and you know we had
a lot of fun we do food fights in the
kitchen for example that was nothing you
know out of the ordinary so we had a lot
of fun lights in the kitchen yeah why
not right
Yeah right it’s fun
so they’re very playful and I think
Chris and I had that in common we were
both just really playful when we
connected on that level but they weren’t
they didn’t probably expect as much of
me in the ways that I expected my kids
with chores and stuff like that they
were pretty easy on me with that now you
said you would never date a seal and
then he walked away and it came back and
you said I changed my mind I would never
marry this because your sister had dated
an seal is that part true that your
sister did date a seal no she married a
guy who was in buds oh she married a guy
who was in buds yeah got it
so when you said that so he walked away
comes back did that part also happened
well he didn’t walk away when I said I’d
never he said well I guess I better let
you go but by that time I was already
attracted you know and I said what do
you mean and he said well you said you’d
never date a seal and I said no I said
no I’d never marry one and then he was
like Oh in that case let me get your
number right how long after that did you
know you’re gonna marry this guy who was
I mean we were engaged within six months
okay got it yeah okay very quick and
then after how long how much later you
guys got married six months later so
it’s almost a year to the day after we
met Wow so when you got married was he
already living the lifestyle of military
you know Oh deployment is he already
doing all of that or not yet no he’d
just graduated buds when I met him in
fact the week that he was there it was
sort of there
they were drinking every night and
celebrating and that kind of thing so
okay got it
so you hadn’t yet experienced he’s gonna
be gone six months three months did you
process that yourself prior to getting
married to him or no I mean I thought
about it but I think this is this is why
I’m so passionate we have the Chris Kyle
Frog foundation where we serve marriages
and one of the reasons I’m so passionate
about it is a lot of these people we’re
not getting into the life because it’s
you know it’s not glamorous it’s not
gonna be easy you’re not gonna have a
lot of money right but you love somebody
enough to try and there was something so
unique about Chris that it was just
irresistible I mean I I really was
genuinely happy and laughing more than I
had laughed with anyone and I loved his
youthful nature and his vulnerability
the things that we talked about and so
it was just sort of one of those things
where I can’t not marry him I’d be an
idiot you know and I remember asking my
dad after he met Chris and we were
engaged and I said you know
do you have any reservations and he said
about Chris absolutely not and he said
but my only concern taya is that he’s
probably going to war and war changes
people and I don’t know yeah and my dad
was a lieutenant colonel in the Marine
Corps when he retired he was in reserves
most the time and I said yeah but you
don’t know Chris
nothing changes him right he’s just who
he is and that is true but Chris and I
had kind of a laugh about that before he
was killed maybe a month or two before
and I said you know my dad said that and
he goes really and I said yeah and he
goes I guess he knew what he was talking
about I’m like yeah I guess I told him
that till the month before he got
married you never brought it up oh I
didn’t bring it up to Chris probably
until until maybe a month or two before
he died so you get married and in March
of 2002 after that how much longer until
he got deployed the first time he went
right into a workup and then he was the
second team out they were there when the
war kicked off so it was pretty pretty
soon after I mean I didn’t I didn’t have
kids I think was within the year so 11
years of being married how much how long
was he deployed how long was he gone oh
my gosh I mean if we could do the math
on it it was so much really yeah because
you know there’s stuff that’s on the
book stuff that’s not on the books right
and there’s trainings and work ups and
things even when they were you know what
at home their training wasn’t in San
Diego a lot of times some of it of
course was but some of it was you know
in different different schools in
different places so more than half the
time oh for sure more than half done
okay you’re not just going out there
maybe sacrificing your own life there’s
also sacrifices still going on at home
you can serve in the military and have a
good marriage but you just need to be
aware of it so you can take those steps
to take care of it he even said on an
interview with a pastor he was speaking
out of church and ambassador talked
about marriage and the struggles of
marriage I think you guys had to one
point were going through a possible
bankruptcy financially I don’t know what
it was when he was talking about and he
said maybe seal 95% of marriages don’t
work that’s the number that Chris said
what was different about your marriage
for you guys to be able to last as long
as you guys did right and that’s a good
point by the way we actually were conned
out of a bunch of money that was an
investment but it was a Ponzi scheme
that was the time when people were
really that was happening and then the
real estate market crashed in 2008 too
and so and we were moving cuz he got out
of the military so it’s like the perfect
storm and fortunately we didn’t have to
file but we were at that point talking
to a bankruptcy lawyers not knowing what
to do as you know the banks weren’t
working with people I’m very different
I’m very like I will set that aside I
was such a horrible I remember believe
me moderation that we’re going through
the whole thing I wanted all the pain he
wouldn’t work with you even when you
could get back on track they wouldn’t so
anyway but your question was about our
marriage did you because we’re talking
about you’re married like one of the
questions I asked my wife when we got
married on our first date we went to PF
Changs on our second date I bought her a
book called 101 questions to ask before
you get engaged the second date and I
said I need you to read this I already
know my answers I’m kind of clear on
what I want I don’t want this thing
should just be physical we’ve known each
other for five and a half years you’ve
dated other guys I’ve dated other girls
we kind of know each other but I want
you to read this and then one of the
questions was how long can you be away
from me and be okay with it
and we actually talked about the days
that’s awesome you’re very strategic and
well-thought-out Oh marriage is my
parents got a divorce so for me was kind
of like listen I’m gonna do emotionally
you see somebody like oh my gosh we
click I love her so much she’s so
attractive there’s a connection there
but then illogically everything comes
afterwards and we sometimes don’t do the
logical side so when you were getting
ready to get married to him did you know
like were you mentally prepared to say
he’s gonna be gone next ten years half
the time and I’m okay with that
yeah I did because you know the thing is
I’m a pretty independent person and I I
figured I would handle it here
the deal it’s funny because one of the
things and you’ve probably heard it
being the military – you knew what you
were getting into when you got married
that is such crap
nobody knows and if you talk to people
who aren’t in the military and they’ve
been married 50 years they didn’t know
what they were getting movie there but
because life is a mystery it’s an
unfolding of things that you that you
were surprised by I think for almost
everyone so to answer your question how
did we make the 5% that make it I
believe a blessing I believe that it was
maybe divinely orchestrated but we had
people at certain times who gave us the
advice and and like you I was devoted
this is the guy I’m gonna be with
forever and I don’t want to just coexist
with somebody I want it to be happy
and we had so many good times and laughs
that I think once you have that your
girl was craving getting that back you
don’t want to lose that so I think that
commitment was there and I also my faith
is really important I felt like I
promised God in addition to Chris and to
me the promise to God meant a lot I did
not want to screw that up
so even when he was gone you’d go into
church every Sunday you were stable in
that area no it’s funny I you know I’ve
never had to go to church all the time
I’ve just had this strong connection to
my faith into God even since I was a kid
and it doesn’t always revolve around I
do like to go to church and I do like to
find a good one but I’ve got in years at
a time without going through yeah and I
didn’t know how well christening the
Bible either I’ve never known it as well
as he did so I’ve never known it as good
as he did never unreal and he knew
backward and forward and I still in
learning yeah you didn’t get like a
listen you have your friend said we’re
gonna go double date Friday night
Saturday night what we’re gonna do what
are you gonna do how did you keep
yourself mentally sane cuz when I say
this I’m coming from a place of a lot of
experience knowing what it was like in
military being at the hundred first
every time a group of guys got deployed
yeah every time they got deployed you go
to the nightclub be like okay this night
club is packed because two thousand men
got deployed how did you how did you
mentally keep yourself sane during that
time okay so these are great questions
and there’s a few things and we do these
at Chris Kyle frog Foundation date night
out right the time when you want a date
the least is the time you need it
the most I had somebody tell me about
that and I was like you know that’s so
true time when you’re arguing with your
spouse and you’re thinking I don’t want
to spend extra time with you because
we’re mad and we got to figure this out
first and the advice was no you need to
go on a date right somebody needs to
humble themselves and say let’s find a
way to make this happen and that’s hard
a military life and first responder like
to make the time to have the money to
get some new watched kids whatever but
we did that and that always helped
because the first little bit that you’re
out together you’re having a blast and
you’re like I I love you I like you what
are we doing right we had we do
revitalization retreats at the weekend
away because one of my favorite memories
with Chris was when my mom gifted me a
weekend to go see him when a training
didn’t go well right they were he’s like
I’m so bummed we’re gonna stay in this
hotel all weekend I happen to be with my
kids visiting my mom and so she paid for
the ticket and and the plans were
already made which because he was where
he was so having somebody pay for it and
plan it and have it done so you just get
there and enjoy each other’s company is
huge we do that empowered spouses is
retreat we do it’s 20 women for five
days no cell phones
up in the mountains and we do all kinds
of things from skeet shooting the
archery to hiking the yoga as breaks but
then the rest of the time it’s hard for
academic work and we’re diving in deep
to emotions tools to use in your
marriage because service marriages are
different right and this is a non-profit
is a nonprofit specific to military
veterans or active duty veteran and
first responders all these service
marriages are at high risk of divorce
what is the name of that organism Chris
Kyle frog foundation frogs because frog
men Navy SEALs and had a frog tattoo
yeah so the marriage is really important
it is really hard and what you were
talking about there are all kinds of
dynamics like how do you have faith
right so if Chris is out on a training
mission with a bunch of young guys with
a lot of testosterone a lot of fun a lot
of drinking some married some not and
it’s surprising how many women want to
just have sex with a guy because he’s a
seal right like the uniform Scott anyway
and then you find out your seal and how
do you deal with that and know that
there’s infidelity going on and trust
that your husband isn’t one of those
right and how do you trust that when you
call him you can’t always get him maybe
it’s because they’re in a remote area
training maybe it’s because they’re at
the club right I mean that’s a different
dynamic it’s very very hard to the
imagination to not let loose because
that’s what happens now you’re laying in
the bed by yourself and your education
is just going to a place yeah he’s in
this place what if that’s taking place
and he’s got one friend I’m worried
because our friend is single you know
you’re thinking oh that’s right how are
you controlling your imagination my
journey with Chris was really I think a
journey of turning fear into faith and
it it started with some of those issues
as well not just war right but how do
you trust this marriage there’s a few
things one is you know if you know your
spouse inside now you know if it’s
happening you do you can question it you
can try to look around you can you know
there’s something different with them
right and these guys are also trained to
lie in case they got captured I mean
there’s a lot of things that you go as a
wife oh my gosh
right and Chris would tell me yeah we’re
trained to do that but if you really
know somebody they have a tell that they
don’t they’re not aware that they have
and you’ll pick up on it right I think
you also know when your marriage is
really solid and Chris just wasn’t the
type of guy to do that stuff he just
wasn’t and so you didn’t go there a lot
no I didn’t but you know he did have a
hard time though right like there was a
time where things were not good and and
my method was I thought if I pull away
he’ll come closer to me and when I
pulled away he thought she’s done with
me and he went this way right so he
would go away no I mean he emotionally I
thought if I pulled back in the
relationship a little bit instead of
keep trying to push and we should be
closing reasonably close where I stopped
fine I’ll pull back he’ll come forward
right no he thought if you’re pulling
out you must be done with this marriage
so what happened in that moment well it
was it was over time it was over time
and there was a perfect storm of things
that happened and you know it just it
was it was the hardest time and we
detailed a little bit in the book
American sniper but that was the worst
time and I realized I have some
responsibility in that and that’s why at
the Frog Foundation we are pulling these
couples together because it’s two people
it’s never just one right and I had some
responsibility to learn about this life
and and what he needed I also I grew up
a strong independent woman right and
that’s what a lot of servicemembers they
marry a strong spouse dad is a
lieutenant colonel but then you have two
alphas that are trying to be 112 you and
Chris right because usually service
people marry strong people right because
they know they’re gonna be gone no doubt
and so now you have to Taipei’s right in
one house and so the other part of my
journey was learning that and this isn’t
too popular with a lot of people these
days but I do believe that in the
marriage the man should take the lead
right and in doing that I don’t lose any
our I gained a ton of power and that’s a
misconception I think in society that
you know we’re fighting for power
everywhere
and the truth is you can lead the world
outside of your marriage do it right but
when you come back there’s one thing
that a man needs always it’s respect and
you can say he shouldn’t he should it I
don’t care it’s how he’s made period
I’ve never met a man that doesn’t need
it and my son taught me a lot about
being a man right because there are
things that are innate that nobody’s
teaching him that are just innate to
being a man right yes so it’s so cool
and so in women we need to be cherished
and that feels a lot like respect right
if you’re giving the man respecting
you’re saying I married you cuz I
respect you it’s not it’s not submitting
like oh I can’t make a decision it’s
saying you know somebody’s got a lead
you lead and you know what happens the
guy usually says hey babe what do you
think about this right because when it’s
not threatened you’re much more no doubt
desirable yeah very very true when
you’re saying that so you know the other
part would be how did you handle it
yourself you’re an attractive woman
yourself your husband’s away there’s
guys out there looking at us saying hey
there’s an opportunity here how did you
handle one guys floated with you when he
was away you know that’s an I’m kind of
glad you brought that up because I know
there was this thing about women being
harassed or sexually harassed or in the
workforce or whatever maybe I just was
raised really strong I’ve never not been
able to handle my business ever and I’m
not insulting anybody that has had a
problem because I know there are people
that it’s been horrible for them and
emotional but I know I’m smart
I know if a man’s coming on to me I know
if he’s pushing the line and I know how
to jokingly and not offensively call it
outright and I’ve been very direct with
people before right well not if you’re
as direct as you were in that movie
I mean you know and the feeling I’m
getting from you but you know say
somebody say a woman who wasn’t raised
in an environment where they know right
how to do it oh how not to do it
what is your coaching we know I’m a
woman I’m married my husband is in
Afghanistan he’s deployed and I’m kind
of like well hey I’m kind of struggling
with this you know because I’m like
single I have some needs how do I what
was your approach what was a system
perfect I give you I’ll give you a
graceful example of a way I think where
it worked perfectly married guy right in
a work environment and he was at a
position of power and and he was
pressure me flirting whatever I could
handle it whatever and then when he came
right out and said it
I said you know what my idea is you give
you give somebody the opportunity to
save face right you’re not out to just
destroy so I said you know what I
believe that you love your wife and I
know that she loves you and I think you
just made an error in judgment here and
I’m I’m gonna look past it we’re gonna
move on because I don’t really think
that’s that’s who you are
so let’s let’s move forward right okay
so that’s one if he’s married what if
he’s single I think if he’s single and
if you’re not interested right and then
you’re uncomfortable or whatever you
could say you know you’re a great guy we
need to find somebody for you right we
need to find a way for you to get
somebody that meets that matches your
personality because you’re it’s a way to
say I’m not interested but you’re giving
them an opportunity to save face – and I
don’t think I don’t think you need to be
defensive or or on the hunt right now if
it’s getting the point where somebody’s
you know touching you and and stuff like
that
then you got to draw the line if you got
to call the cops you got to call the
cops if you got to say this is an
appropriate it’s inappropriate sure you
can do it with a smile on your face and
still look them in the eye the next day
I think that says a lot about the
character now that’s great but I think a
lot of that is not being talked about
I’m being and and I’ve been on both
sides I’ve been we partied heavy and we
were then we would see all of it we
would see the married side that single
side all this I have my own opinions
about marriage while you’re in Hollywood
sports music or military I have a
certain opinion about those four things
what is your opinion about getting
married
in your 20s while you’re in the military
and you are getting deployed advice both
to men
you were married to an a-type that went
straight to the top sniper 160 confirmed
some call him the greatest of all time
as a sniper he gives credit to a
different guy hatch hatch cock I guess
yeah I mean he gives credit to the other
guy but a lot of people said he was the
one with 160 confirms
so this is not a regular if you plays
another sports he’s one of the best to
play the game and you’re an a-type what
advice you given to a 23 year old that
saying but hey I’m kind of alone I feel
like I gotta love somebody in this girl
I’m seeing you know I’m thinking about
pulling you do a trigger and saying yes
or the girl said nothing like getting
married but he gets deployed a lot what
advice would you give well I think first
of all you have to understand that it’s
gonna be a mystery and it’s gonna unfold
you just don’t know if it’s combat
deployments you don’t know if they’re
gonna get injured right there’s so many
rables so I think you have to know that
at the end of the day this is the person
that you really are committing to for
real right like those vows are no joke
if his legs were amputated we still love
him would you still stand by him you
know would you brush his teeth would you
do the things that you need to do that
way I think that’s a good indicator of
if yes then that’s a good solid soulful
love not just a physical love I think if
you have faith and you have commitment
and you have some idea of how these
marriages work it’s really helpful one
of the things that you have to do is
know you’re not going to have the time
that other people have and you’re not
gonna have the money that they have so
the conventional advice in the civilian
world is not going to work for your
service marriage so another reason our
foundation exists it’s not rocket
science they’re just different tools
civilian counselors will not be able to
help you so I think if you can find a
mentor of someone oh yeah if you can
find a mentor of somebody who made their
military marriage work ask them some
questions I’d be ideal oh my gosh you
give such great counsel I’m gonna
transition that into business because
our audiences entrepreneurs you know a
lot of times when you get married to
somebody who maybe he or she say you are
the woman you’re the entrepreneur he’s
not or you’re the man you’re the
entrepreneur she’s not and you you date
somebody and you’re getting ready to get
married and she was raised in an
environment where the father came home
every night at five o’clock and
everybody had that whole regular
lifestyle and say this is but this is
how I saw it I saw my mom and I having
dinner every night at five o’clock six
o’clock how come you’re not gonna be
doing that yeah I think it’s important
my wife and I were dating and I asked
her I said who are you talking to like
if let you say you want to have a
falling out who are you gonna call what
if I weren’t gonna call and eventually
got to opponent when we went to saw
counselor before getting married and I
said I want us to talk to a counselor on
scene what feedback they’re gonna give
us before we get married every
girlfriend I dated we saw a therapist or
counselor because I know we need help so
I want feedback so we’re both on the
same page and the one the counselor said
in order for marriage to work you both
have to have dinner every night at six
o’clock because that’s the key to
successful marriage I said we’re never
gonna see you again
right I got up and I walked out I said
babe I like the guy said it’s not about
like the guy he’s not living my life
that’s right and I’m not him that’s
right so what you’re saying is very
important because sometimes we could
take
counsel from somebody that may give good
counsel for a certain lifestyle but not
the lifestyle you’re choosing to live
the lifestyle you’re choosing to meth
it’s not an easy one right so
interesting what you’re saying how can I
touch on that first though because I
think that you know my my friend who was
so brilliant about this too if you give
if you give a guy the opportunity to
lead right so in your situation if you
know your wife is counting on you to
lead right and that the responsibility
of the family unit is on you the
Wellness of it right are you gonna treat
that a little differently than if your
wife is saying you need to be home at 6
o’clock and we need to have a family
dinner right giving you the
responsibility
all of a sudden puts this as is much
more valuable it’s not just your job
you’re in charge of you’re also in
charge of the Wellness of your family
right and I think that that’s that’s
part of that misconception thing for
people they think that they’re losing
power they’re not like they’re gaining
everything and and you’re right you do
need somebody to to be a friend to your
marriage so that that woman that said
when you want to date the least you need
it the most she’s a pediatrician her
husband as a SWAT officer and she said
to me one time she said hey I want you
to know this about me I am your friend
but I’m a friend of your marriage first
because I think that’s the best way to
be your friend
right and I had to think about that and
what she’s saying is if you are if
you’re just my friend Patrick and I call
you and you’d be like man don’t put up
with that crap from him done it right
but if you’re a friend of my marriage
first you are a better friend to me
because what you’ll say is okay let’s
look at this let’s dissect it where is
he coming from do you have an
understanding of his situation right so
I think you need to have people who are
friends of your marriage
I will never win an argument about my
dad and I if I tell him anything about
my wife I’m upset with I will never win
right it’s always your fault Pat you
know you got to go figure it out you
look what who you have there etc etc and
that’s on her side which eventually
anyways helps the marriage on so you
know there’s a scene in a movie which
was very interesting to me where you’re
laying next to each other and at least
that’s the movie whether your lay next
to each other and you’re asking him tell
me why you’re doing this and he says I’m
doing it for you anything I’m not doing
it for me why are you doing this your
family
here your children have no father you’ll
have to serve my country you don’t know
when to quit you did your part you
sacrificed enough you let somebody else
go somebody lets go
yeah yeah welcome yeah well you find a
way I’m almost certain that probably
happened at one point yeah for sure how
did it feel knowing and if you disagree
with the statement I’m about to make
please do so oh you know I will right no
that’s why that’s why I like this of
conversation because I really want to
have some insight on this I was in the
military I saw it I think there’s a lot
of people that do struggle with this
there’s a part of being a Navy SEAL I
mean Navy SEAL is a Navy SEAL it’s not
just army Marines it’s Navy SEAL how’s
it feeling knowing that the country
comes before you you know knowing his
responsibilities and duties come first
before the family does at least that’s
what the commitment is right how did
that feel and did you ever feel that way
and if you did were you okay with it
right no I that’s was part of my journey
and growing into this because when Chris
would always say he would never say one
was more important than the other he
would just say you know I feel like I
need to do this this is my purpose too
but you’re equally important and I
didn’t understand that until I was more
in his position after he died where my
kids are equally as important but I also
have this other thing that I’m trying to
do too right and I had to work through
that and figure that out and I realized
how difficult that can be
I also think in growing and learning
about just the Corps of men purpose is
important for everyone it was really
important to me too for some reason as a
woman I think were very complex
creatures and so we can have purpose
here and purpose there and we can you
know sometimes it’s a burden to be that
complex you know but I think there’s a
simplicity to men that is beautiful and
necessary in this world and some of that
simplicity that purpose is a necessity a
man is not going to be a healthy man not
having a strong sense of purpose outside
of just being a dad to husband right and
so I think we have to respect that and
say it’s not a choice he’s making it’s
part of his makeup right and that’s a
good thing not a bad thing
so I learned to understand it a little
bit more I think toward the end when he
got out we don’t talk about a lot there
were there are other options for him to
do that wouldn’t have been combat but
combat was what his his purpose was and
that’s they overused him and they know
that they broke every rule and kept
sending him back you know needs the
Navy’s Trump everything and so there
were parts of him that were just you
know we blew out both knees physically
mentally emotionally they were killing
him because they didn’t let him be human
for just a minute just take a breath
give him a year to just do a shore duty
and and I’ve gotten calls from some of
the higher-ups at apologizing you know
afterwards saying I’m really sorry yes
handle that call you know I try to give
grace because I understand regret and I
understand that you did the best you
could at the time with the information
you had right and I’m glad that you see
it now because that means you can do it
differently for someone else
right and and honestly I’m really in a
way look it ended up being a blessing
because he knew it I knew it and so he
made the choice right and in doing that
for his short life he got to be a dad
and he got to be there all the time and
I mean he was working but you know I’m
saying every night type of thing and it
was I heard him say and I’m so glad I
did two guys that were thinking about
getting out he would say I’m not ever
gonna be one that says you should get
out of the military but if you’re asking
me because you want to get out I’m
telling you I have more joy in my family
than I ever had in the military you can
do 30 years in the military I’m not
trying to tell guys to get out all I’m
trying to do is say hey look take care
of your family because once you’re out
of military your time will end sooner or
later and then what are you going to
have you better make sure your life is
set up to have your family and I
wouldn’t believe that necessarily when I
was in right because you have that sense
of purpose and it’s life and death
adrenalin yes I overheard him on the
phone saying he would tell me he wanted
to live you know before when he’s in the
military if you die in a blaze of glory
you know okay great no problem once he
got out he was like man I want to live
to be an old man well you know yeah I
saw that window he was being interviewed
I think on Time magazine and the lady
was asking 10 questions from him and one
of the questions was you know a house of
feel knowing you’re the best sniper of
all time and what if for the rest your
life you don’t do anything as good as
this I’m a better husband and father
than I was killer
I’m pretty comfortable with
not having to kill anyone so he defended
that yeah and what it was mainly yeah he
said and then he said what I do
currently right now I do it very good is
what do whatever his job was at the time
and he says look as long as you allow me
to go you know doing all this stuff if
you stop me from doing deer hunting I’m
gonna be miserable but aside from that
I’m a pretty I feel like I can do a lot
of things yeah so you can sense the
pride he had on being a husband and a
father there was a lot of pride behind
that and some of the clips you posted
with you know him reading he says I’m
gonna read two books to you when I’m
gone you know those things are very
emotional so the kids are gonna
my father was telling me he surprised my
sister a video he found of her run and
run in the park when she was two and my
sister’s older and he was shown this
video I’m like wow you know getting back
in the days you know camera didn’t exist
yeah forty some years I said dad yep the
videos up me up like I’m waiting show me
some videos he says no I don’t have any
videos I said I’m younger it’s how do
you not have it ISA sighs I just didn’t
take my girl baby girl but obviously I
understand have a girl know there’s a
big difference than looking out for your
daughter then the son it’s a different
kind of love plus you were the second
kid right it’s the second he’s a little
bit harder to keep up when you got to
you know they get less pictures of them
yeah so much today because I have so
many more videos on my first one than
the other two because the first one was
like you know pride enjoys your first
kid experimenting I want to touch on one
thing he said when Chris said he was a
much better husband and father that is
true but I want people to know that that
there is a transition period that I was
not prepared for so getting out of the
military and that’s one of the reasons
with the Frog Foundation we deal with
veterans too you think when he’s on
leave we’re having such a good time that
when he gets out it’s like leave all the
time is gonna be awesome and it really
wasn’t it was really hard for the first
year he really struggled getting out he
really struggled with having a sense of
purpose change he struggled with where
he was gonna find his place and dealing
with all the things that he experienced
I guess probably started to flood back
in and he didn’t have regrets about it
but I just think it’s a lot to process
so I would encourage people who are
consider
that to be prepared that it is not an
overnight thing and he got to that point
I think very quickly all things
considered but it wasn’t overnight it
was really rough when he got out it was
a true the fact that you know he would
wake up in the middle of the night if he
didn’t say his name he would punch you
would swing he did that before the
military though that’s just he was just
always like a jumpy with an excess
because he said there’s two things I
said I want to do in life one I want to
be a cowboy – I want to be sorted it was
a something assistance it was a kid so
that kind of makes sense because there’s
a level congruence there but it did get
a little I mean probably got a little
more aggressive but it did yeah little
more grit I’m probably it was never it
was never a problem for me until after
he was in the military right but if it
was the stranger like if he fell asleep
on a plane or somebody come up swinging
her yeah yeah you see did you see the
movie Hurt Locker did you didn’t I
should have but I think I think there
will be a similarity there because he he
was feeling going back it’s almost like
this is I have to do this you can’t keep
me out here I got to go back and do it
again saying fifty nine are dead you
know they need more bomb techs for me
did Chris ever had that element too or
no well not after I mean after he got
out I don’t think that was as much a
part of it because like I said they’ve
really burned him down but I do think
it’s something you said to spark this in
me they did a test like a simulator
thing on him because they were trying to
study in the military the effects of war
and that kind of thing and so it was a
simulation where he had a gun and they
put all the sounds of the war and there
was people studying him right and so and
as soon as the the gunfight started his
blood pressure went down right and so he
was in his calm place and whatever and
the only time it spiked was when there
was another American or ally soldier
that was screaming I don’t want to die I
don’t want to die I’m hit
right and that’s when all of a sudden
everything started to jumbled and Chris
and that’s so true to his personality it
was the guys that he couldn’t save right
because he never saw his job as taking
lives he saw it as saving lives and if
you didn’t if you didn’t take this life
than these lives and that was from his
very first kill which was in the movie –
right if he didn’t take that shot five
or six people died right
and so it’s just I think that also says
what his trauma was his trauma wasn’t
for the job that he did he was able to
make that right in his head
it was the people that you can’t save he
talked about that on many many different
interviews you know when I was in those
situations the only thing I’m thinking
of is trying to stop them from the act
of violence that they are trying to
commit on my guys but allies or the
innocent civilians in those cities
they’re leaving behind their families
and their families go through hard and
stressful times without their spouses
being there I would love to be known for
the number of people I saved I’m
committed to making sure every service
member that was over there whether
American or allied came home it’s been
over six years right
have you already moved on and started
dating so I know it’s very common
question nobody asks you what I’ve been
asking everybody’s asking you are you
dating
have you started feeling little bit more
comfortable like getting into the dating
scene or no no and you know it’s
interesting about that I’ve I’ve done
some deep dives into some therapy there
was a type of therapy called accelerated
resolution therapy it uses your eye
movements and your brain connections and
develops pathways and at one of the
times I was telling her I can’t think
about it without wanting to throw up or
cry and so yeah and I’m like obviously I
have an issue that’s buried there
because it’s probably six years has gone
by I should probably be able to think
about it without that reaction right and
so she she went through it with me and
even though it kind of makes me want to
cry but she did go through it with me
and she said you just need to picture
Chris and get him with you and write a
new contract with him and I couldn’t do
it I mean I really I know I couldn’t do
it right and she said you need to write
a new contract how does he come with you
for the rest of your life but in a way
that is different right and I you know I
had the ugly cry I got painting
everywhere and I was like I can’t do it
and that’s hard for me because I like to
just toughen up and muscle through and
do what I need to do especially to get
better I want to get better and and so
she said okay then you just got to sit
down with yourself and then you talk to
you and make a new contract right so
what you’re doing is you’re connecting
your left and right brain when you do
that and you’re following a hand
movement so that your eyes access the
different parts
I realized more the issues and I
realized the excuses and I kind of was
able to make some peace to say maybe the
red flags or the excuses I’m putting up
are not legitimate I mean I could go
with kids I could go with time I could
go with all these reasons why it would
just never work and and I don’t want to
but at the end of the day I did all that
and I still have a hard time with the
idea so I I’ve been thinking even this
week it’s funny you bring it up I’ve
been thinking this week that maybe I
need to go go see somebody gonna I mean
I’m not dying to have somebody that’s
fine but no I’m not at all I feel really
happy like you’re fulfilled you’re not
so fulfilled but I also think that if
you see a problem and you the right
thing to do is to find a way to you know
to get it out and I don’t think it’s
normal that I feel like crying to think
about that or that love the idea of love
makes me cry for me for other people
that’s my foundation work I love it I
want to keep people married and I could
I could guess that it’s the pain of loss
I guess that’s me wanna cry that’s
probably a big one because I don’t love
in halves you know I love in holes if I
love you I love you with all of me and
that’s the same for my friends my kids
and so I don’t know that it was hard to
survive that you know I bet I saw a
speech you gave to a classroom where you
said did your son tell you mom you don’t
need anybody because I love you yes what
a powerful thing it was and you know
what two months ago maybe he’s that in
front of me he’s a mom I just wanted you
to know that if you found somebody you
were happy with I’d be happy for you Wow
how old was it when he said it’s 14 and
I I asked him I said was that hard for
you to say and he said a little bit and
I said out of loyalty to your dad or
just the idea of it and he said both you
know I said I get it and then he was
fine and I started crying and crying you
know and I was like I just can’t picture
it I just don’t see it you know but
thank you it means a lot to me that you
said that and so I you know I don’t know
I know I got work to do obviously it
something’s broken in there still you
know I give you my testimony real quick
for you to process it any way you want
well my parents got a divorce
I did not want either one of them to
marry
at all let me tell when I tell you I
mean at all yeah and I was
overprotective of my mother I mean I was
overprotective about everybody yeah
because when they got a divorce I was at
Germany at a refugee camp divorce was
probably filed when I was 11 and then
you know in the Middle Eastern culture
when a wife goes through divorce it’s a
mess so she didn’t want to go through it
to remarry and I would say don’t but
looking back oh my gosh you know as a
son now of both my parents yeah I would
have loved to have seen them both
remarry right for many reasons one is
number one would be emotionally right to
have somebody to have a conversation
would just having a conversation before
and I was talking to my friends I was
saying hey so let me ask you because I
was processing your historian and
historian said marriage you I asked my
friends were divorced and some that were
married and some that were single I said
do you miss being married yes tell me
why what do you miss I miss having
sharing a life with somebody was a key
word and this is coming from an alpha
male right
I miss sharing my life with somebody
don’t get me wrong I’m courier driven I
want to do all this up but I miss
sharing my life with somebody yeah
that’s a big deal I know because I I
mean even when Chris was deployed I had
those moments where I said the problem
is they’re my memories not our memories
right and I still struggle with that but
I tend to just have really good
girlfriends and I just I tell him I
share the memories just so that
somebody’s there to share them and older
my kids get you know we share em but you
know I think I think a part of it has to
be a level of admiration from whoever
you date for you for you for Chris yeah
you know it’s this is a weird example
but I I look at the rock okay the rock
his ex-wife his name is Danny Danny
Garcia and Danny Garcia is his agent and
manager today and the guy he used to
train with is her husband now and they
still train together and they have a
phenomenal relationship together nothing
weird it’s just a phenomenal relay all
her all his business dealings all go
through her so it works out because the
husband has respect for the old
ex-husband they still have kids family I
think it needs to be a situation like
that because you didn’t just marry a
regular guy you made a high achiever a
peak performer and a type and he’s got a
Roenick though because I met him it’s
just a regular guy yeah but but that’s
even that’s even what makes it special
the fact that it was the journey for
March 2002 to February 2nd of 2013 that
journey is what makes it what it is
today but he was unique I shouldn’t say
he was a regular guy there’s something
different about him or when the married
oh yeah no doubt about it I wanted kid
knows from beginning that listen I’m
gonna go in the military I’m gonna be a
cowboy like he’s saying he’s a kid he’s
not playing around
exactly he’s being very serious about
what I’m saying and I like the part
about what the reason why I think
Bradley Cooper was the right fit to play
his role in an interview when they asked
Bradley Cooper about the role his father
played in his life and his father played
a very big role in his life he said they
set a great example to me because my
parents wanted me to choose a career
that made me happy but I also had a lot
of self-generated these are what award
he was he said self-generated these
aren’t I think Chris had a
self-generated desire to go to the top
so transitioning into Bradley you know
how did you feel I’m like this guy put
on 50 pounds took the axe and took all
of that to play the part and he I mean
you’re watching as you’re thinking
that’s not Bradley Cooper I’m looking at
guy Chris Kyle I was in the movie
there’s a few movies that do that to you
there’s a reason why this movie from you
know box office at 600 million dollars
that’s a lot of numbers right my gosh
yeah I did a field you know having that
scene you know Bradley played a role
it’s such an emotional thing because
Brad is just a good person too and he
really put his heart and soul into it I
was not a part of the making of the
movie and in fact the I mean I spent all
my time with Jason the screenwriter got
it and then and Bradley and I are
friends today and I have a lot of
respect for him I wasn’t on set to the
point where the last day they said do
you wanna come for the last day it’d be
a great way to wrap it up and and my son
had a spelling bee and he was champion
of his class and then he had the grade
wide spelling bee that day and I was
like I can’t do it man like yeah my kids
like
and I don’t have any regrets he won it
was pretty cool I wouldn’t miss it for
the world
yeah so it was fun you know but I never
did go to the set and watching the movie
is very emotional I’ve only seen it
twice and its entirety once when I went
to Warner Brothers to preview it and
once at the premiere it’s it’s very
powerful it’s so well done and even
sometimes when I’m on a speaking
engagement and that and some people
choose to play like a clip of the movie
it’s really hard for me to go on after
they play a clip yeah it’s really well
done so so do you look at Bradley Cooper
today as is it a emotional like you look
at them as an actor in a talent you look
at them as a friend would you look at
Matt you know there’s a part of me
that’s emotion when I see Bradley I told
you you’re intuitive yeah there’s both I
I do have an emotional connection there
and it’s been confusing sometimes to me
because I think that the biggest thing
is that he understood Chris and he loved
him right and I think I think in a
spiritual sense Chris spent time with
them and to me that’s a powerful draw
because I feel like you know my husband
right and you know I’m better than a lot
of people because you studied them and
you embraced him and you embodied him
and I believe that you accessed him you
know while you were doing this and so
there is that emotional connection and
it’s interesting to have that with
somebody that you didn’t know prior
right because you have a depth that you
didn’t create because the two of you sat
and talked or answered your questions in
your book and and he’s been really
patient and going through that process
with me through my grief too you know
where I’m trying to figure out how makes
sense of it you know but I also think
he’s a he’s a longevity type guy when it
comes to friends you know he’s got
friends from childhood and he’s not
going anywhere you know and so I that’s
been the nice thing for me to think feel
like feels like no time and then time
and then I looked back and realized man
he’s been a friend for a long time and
been really patient through all the kind
of different things did you ever look at
him and was there an emotional
attraction to him after seeing how close
he played Chris if I think it was so
overwhelmingly sad all of it
you know I think Bradley didn’t sit with
him at the premiere either and I think
he cried for a while after you know it
closed there and then I did I stood up
and hugged Jason and his amazing life
and like escaped real quick and just
went in the hallway and just bawled my
eyes out you know and and so there there
was that at that time I think but you
know he’s yeah there is a connection
there based on that right but but he’s
his own person too and I’m my own person
and we’re living our own lives too it’s
just I can’t make sense of it I mean
when I see the interview of you and him
there’s a couple interviews but when you
see the interview and you can tell the
intensity in the room with a level of
calmness it’s so weird
what is your chest your breathing cards
and right next to him and he’s you know
calm and you guys talking about the
whole story from a you know I’m not I’m
not part of the story on that part of
Bradley’s life I’m not part of your life
looking at from the outside I said
listen there it there is some kind of an
emotional connection there
I’m sure there’s different for Bradley
Cooper to play wedding crashers you know
or what was the hangover or stars born
which was insane there is death there as
well but it’s a different kind of a
death and service and marriage and armor
and valor and all of that combined
that’s like yeah you know so when I
looked at energy yeah when I looked at I
said you know what interesting I’m so
curious in how your conversation went
together because you looked at me like
there was an attraction there was it
emotional what was it that you saw that
as a person from the outside that’s
fascinated by movies and stars and
stories just an observation myself to
you I think that yeah I think there’s
immense gratitude to I can never you
know his is dedication of that role set
my life on a different path too and so
I’ve got two men that I owe that to
right and it’s Chris and it’s Bradley
Wow
right they set me up to be able to go
forward
and I know that’s very important for
someone like you to experience it the
way you have so the part about your kids
I remember one time you were saying they
hadn’t seen the movie have they seen the
movie censor no they haven’t but they’re
you they’re getting there right they’re
getting to the point and Bradley wants
to be there when they do watch it so
we’ll have to figure out a time for that
in the future and that’s got to be
recorded for your own memories like you
think oh my gosh like that listen if I’m
the father I’m telling you I want I want
that to be recorded in keV yeah because
and if I’m the kid and imagine I’m your
son today 14 but visualize me at 40 I
want to see my reaction because I want
to show that to my kids one day yeah I
want them to see it I want them to kind
of see here’s who was your grandpa yeah
just so you know and here’s how much
your dad loved his dad yeah the level of
respect that form that’s gonna happen
soon huh yeah I think so my daughter’s
been asking more than my son believe it
or not she was she was so close to her
dad too and so yeah it’ll be interesting
I don’t you know I’ve had this
hesitation I’ll tell you why it was
really important to me that their
memories are so solidified of their dad
then nothing can change that
right and so I don’t I didn’t want
anything to interfere with that also
that was really a heavy subject matter
you know and they’re not any strange of
that from the time they’ve been toddling
you know they’ve seen me get a call at
one of our friends died and we pray for
the family and you know they’re not a
stranger to the realities of war and and
things like that but I think I just
needed to make sure that there they were
so solid in their own memories that they
didn’t ever wonder was that my memory or
was that from the movie you know the
shoot the movie in 14 or 15 we were
working on it at 13 I think so they
turned in the rough draft for the movie
the day before Chris was killed so they
were already working on it right yeah
that’s right because of it because
Bradley and him only had one
conversation together on the phone I
think yeah did you ever have a chance to
meet Clint Eastwood as well or no oh
yeah oh my gosh yes and I’ve seen him a
couple times since then and what a neat
guy oh my I just I bet yeah they came
out you know they came out to stay in
little Midlothian Texas and stayed at
the Holiday Inn down the street and you
know they they were very kind and how
when they came out to visit I have a lot
of respect for Clint on how we tell
stories and the kind of a talent he is
and I put him in the genius category I
don’t yeah there’s a he’s in a class of
his own there’s only it’s all the music
to he wrote a theme song called taya
song in Americans name for real yeah
he’s a composer yeah it’s crazy yeah I
see him as somebody like that I seem as
a full-on genius
oh yeah bit of a maybe mad genius off
camera he’s not though you know he’s
just he’s literally like a just kind of
a Oh shucks laughs really oh my gosh
easygoing yeah just yeah real calm chill
just what you’d want him to be kind of
witty and he’s very witty he was a stud
growing up I mean this guy’s like a
good-lookin you know a handsome you know
he was like lady killer woman love him
and today he’s still running the game
you can tell that’s pure love of the
game at this point you’re not doing it
to make another 50 million or 20 members
love the game you mind if we transition
to the event of what happened when Chris
was shot legendary Navy SEAL Chris Kyle
the most lethal sniper in US history was
gunned down at a Texas shooting range
over the weekend the authorities have
now released the 911 after that shooting
look here my brother just came by here
the murders allegedly shooting him and
his friend at point-blank range the two
were trying to help an Iraq war veteran
eerie text message from former Navy SEAL
what I want to know is when chat text
him saying this guy is a loose cannon I
don’t know the exact words he use but he
said this guy’s a bit off yeah and then
I think Chris text back saying watch my
six which obviously watched my six watch
my back so when he was going out was
this the first time every day went out
with him
so they’ve never been out with them
right it was a mom who it was at our
kids school and said my son has PTSD
will you help him he did not according
to psychiatrist on both the prosecution
and defense
he never had any traumatic event his
life he didn’t have it he was getting a
lot of money from the military claiming
it right and he was getting out of a lot
of trouble claiming it but he didn’t
actually according to them have it so it
was it was interesting you know Chris
asked would you sound like to shoot this
is my understanding and she said yes but
what I learned in the trial was that
somebody testified that they had taken
all the guns out of their house because
they were scared he was going to shoot
himself and the whole family or
something so I have some I have some
very hard feelings about why would you
tell him that he was good around guns
but protect your own family just tell
him no Chris we’ll take him up for a cup
of coffee there’s a lot of other things
you can do you know you know the
shooting was great for people who love
to do it it’s very relaxing right and
but it’s not good for people who are
obviously not stable so he took him down
there with the best of intentions and
the thing obviously I’ve gone over in my
mind and we experienced enough death in
our life from friends and that I know
there’s no good and doing the what-ifs I
know that but I have I do remember my
last conversation with him and I do
remember he wasn’t happy right when he
was on the phone around that guy and
he’s just a man of his word
right he said he would do it he was
doing it and so where some people might
have said you know it pissing me off
like like they apparently in the trial
we learned they were going to get water
burger and he said he didn’t want
anything but they ordered him a burger
anyway just in case he got hungry later
they’re like well we’ll just get you
something case your honor and apparently
that made him mad right I mean just
stupid thing so I can see why they would
have been like me I don’t know what’s
wrong this guy just watch my six right
you know just like it could have been
even a light-hearted comment about not
one in a burger right but you
and and you know there’s there’s
videotapes after he shot him and took
the truck and you know he went to Taco
Bell and went to get his dog and yeah
that’s not the person that’s not a it’s
not a mentally insane person that’s a
person who says yeah I know what I did
and I’m gonna get out of here before I
get caught right in my opinion but when
when they had the video on him in the
police car it was interesting because
when he knew that that Polly people were
watching he kind of appeared to me to be
playing up something and then not
knowing there was another camera on him
when they would go away you know he’d be
like leaning back in the seat like
whatever bunch of it you know
to me that’s a very calculated thing
that obviously an educated opinion I’m
not a medical professional but I don’t I
I see somebody when I look at him I see
somebody who was indulged entitled got
away with a lot for claiming something
that you know you didn’t have according
to the psychiatrist and amped it up once
too many you know he smoked a lot of
dope and had laced with some things
sometimes probably did it that morning
and did they testing for it or no did
they kind of see no they never really
were conclusive about that right because
the way the law is also that if you take
drugs and you do a crime it doesn’t it’s
no excuse you chose to take the drugs oh
yeah for being yeah yeah so so when you
got to work as a whole story is what is
he shot chat first and then he shot
Chris five times in the back and once in
the back of his head who called you
first like they actually don’t know even
if it was simultaneous like it could
have been both because the sad thing is
Chris had you know an old Western pistol
and he had fired six on one I think six
on another and he still had his hand up
he hadn’t even put his hand down from
shooting from the last bullet coming out
he got him all the way down his body and
and Chad in the back so they were never
able to tell for my understanding if it
was simultaneous or it was one two but
it was both of them were in the middle
of something right and and then he shot
shot chatted a couple of really horrible
times that I even just found out
you didn’t you know he didn’t have to to
finish it the way he did and he did so
yeah that night I was we were we were at
my kids basketball game in the morning
having a blast and a super fun I
competed in like a halftime you know
shooting competition and and then he was
gonna go do his thing and the kids were
having a great day and we stopped in at
the house real quick and with my
daughter and I’d already dropped off my
son and a friends and so we just said I
love you you know he’s going shooting
and Chad was there and everybody’s just
kind of in a hurry but we did what we
always do which is really cool I think
you know we didn’t even end a call
without I love you and we didn’t leave
the by without giving a kiss it just
kind of our thing and we did that and
then they left and I called him to see
if he wanted to do dinner and he said
yep so we’re gonna go out to dinner with
our friends whose birthday it was so
when I had the kids all back and in the
meantime we hadn’t heard from them and I
remember Chad’s wife LeAnn was saying
I’m starting to get really concerned and
I said like I’ve been through this a lot
in my life
you just you assume it’s not them until
you know right it’s not them until it’s
them so we’re gonna assume they up flat
tire or something like that so
eventually as we were getting in the car
to go to dinner and I left Chris a
message saying hey I’m getting a little
worried babe you know cuz it wasn’t like
him not to text or call anyway the
police actually showed up and I was
getting the kids in the car and then
obviously you know I’m okay this is but
I’m not I’m still keeping his clothes
could be and so I said hey what’s up and
he said hey I just need Chris’s license
plate and VIN number and everything for
his truck and I said okay what’s going
on and he said he’s been hurt and I said
okay right and I said give me a minute
and so I called my friend who lived
close by and I said hey come get the
kids for a sleepover I told the kids I
said hey you’re gonna go for a sleepover
change of plans you know and my son said
mom are you sure everything’s okay and
I’ve made a point of never lying to my
kids ever I’ll find a way to say it but
I said I don’t know I’m gonna believe so
right now but I don’t know right
and so he said are you sure he said it
second time and I said honey I don’t
know but I think everything’s okay I
just wanna go have a sleepover have a
good time and you know
and so they left pretty quickly I told a
girl friend of mine across the street
I said hey they said and that was the
first time I cracked I said hey they
said Chris is hurt and then I started
and I said but I don’t want anybody in
the house except do so um or go to
dinner but I just I need to deal with
this on my own
and she said okay so I went in the house
and I got the police the information
they needed I mean my girlfriend was
there and like I swear it was like three
or four minutes to getting the kids and
we had their sleepover bags packed and
and so then we I went in the house and
said I said to my friend you know nobody
else comes in I called my mom and I said
start praying Chris is hurt I told my
other girlfriend that was very close to
I said hey Cruz has been hurt like I
think I think I called her I’m not sure
if I did I know I called my mom and then
and then the phone was going off the
hook and the text and all this stuff and
I just didn’t answer because I military
training-wise you just you don’t know
until you know and people start rumors
and take you down a road that you don’t
have to go down so eventually I think
was Mark Lee’s mom that kept calling and
I finally said I was irritated at the
time I said hey what’s up right and she
said are you okay and I said what and
she said of all have you heard and I
said heard what and she said oh nothing
and I said heard what right and then she
said I and I she said I heard Chris is
dead and I said I haven’t heard that but
I’ll let you know if I do right not at
the phone and I was like I’m still not
getting still I’m gonna go there and so
then there were a few men coming in I
learned later they were pastors but at
that time I was just focused on like
getting through and prayed for him so
they came in and then I at one point my
friend that was with me said hey the
police want to talk to you and so I went
in and and the nuts and they told me and
it was weird I had this feeling kind of
come over me like oh it did happen right
like oh it is it is my turn
cuz you always wonder when your numbers
up kind of thing um and then she was she
told me later she said it’s like you
went into business mode right away and I
think I’ve learned since that that’s my
protection mechanism like that’s too big
so get busy doing what needs to get done
so I had the tears you know rolling down
my face but I was just like okay
who are these people and they’re like
they’re pastors then let’s pray right
and I said I know where he is I just
pray for him anyway
and they did know it was like hey you go
right where’s Chad what’s going on and
and then and then Leon came over well
she was on her way and she had been
downtown with her parents and daughter
and we didn’t know it was Chad right but
we knew there was another body and so we
figured it was Chad but at the time it’s
the same mentality you don’t know until
you know so until it Tim’s not him and
so she called on the way there and I
didn’t want to tell her about Chris but
she said you know she was like damn it
hey you know and I said okay pull over
right and I said okay he’s he’s dead and
um and so I think I called my mom right
away and then she was like obviously on
a flight that’s my mom and my other
friend who just had back surgery like
I’m standing the whole time on the
flight and then Liana got to the house
and I was mostly trying to just take
care of her we were waiting to hear if
it was Chad but there started to be
people coming in the house
and I looked at one of my police officer
friends and I said I said I’m going for
a run
you can come or not or I’m going for a
walk I said you can come or not come but
I need to get out of here because then
it was like there’s only so long you can
put off that feeling and so he’s like oh
then we’ll go with you and about four of
them they’re really good friends with
Chris poured out there in plain clothes
and then I just started running like
sprinting until I realized like I heard
their footsteps a while back and it was
like this is retarded like there’s that
my good friends and they’re trying to
keep up because I’ve got adrenaline and
shock in me and they don’t right so we
just walked until LeAnn found out and
then she left right away with her family
and then Chris’s parents arrived and I
called them too but they already knew I
guess they knew before I did their
officers in their hometown or he told
him and so um you know that was the
beginning of a long long stretch
how much after that was a memorial at
the Cowboys Stadium gosh I want to say
that was within like seven days oh wow
well was I think so and you know um
melanie luttrell marcus luttrell his
wife is she is a Grace and a presence
and a calm about her that I’ve never
seen from anybody else and as soon as
she heard she and Marcus got in the car
and drove up and so she had ugg boots
leggings and like a sweatshirt on right
and she lived in those clothes for
probably three or four days without
showering without changing her clothes
never said a word and she went into
Cowboy Stadium to talk with the
executives and they’re like beautiful
outfits you know and she’s still like
just punching it out until finally one
day she went to Target and like you know
got stuff to Tainted to some of his SEAL
friends and other friends got together
and man they just made that procession
happen and the Cowboys Stadium happen
and we knew we needed a big place and we
wanted something that represented him it
was helpful for me because and then the
last time I saw his body I didn’t know
if I could walk away and I was like well
we’re here like I’m just gonna be happy
for him I’m gonna know his soul is here
and like just treat it like baby can you
believe we pulled this off you know and
just that was the only thing I could do
to walk out is like just think okay he’s
not there he’s here and I’m gonna have
to look at something that would be
pleasing to or bring a smile to my face
about his feelings right now you know
your grace is unbelievable truly I mean
and it’s very much felt every time you
speak about Kris every time I was
listening to your speech you gave
powerful on how you started and you know
who Chad was in your life you know the
role chat play wherever he wanted to go
Chad would just go and they would hang
out together they were like best buddies
and Chad’s play very important roles and
a person like Chris’s life a very
important role Chris’s life yeah so you
know I appreciate you sharing that with
me because I know I was a I wouldn’t
want to have to explain myself over and
over and over again we let him relive in
the entire story over and over again but
Patrick I never do that yeah this might
be the first time on camera that I’ve
gone through the whole thing yeah you’re
very comfortable to talk with and so
that’s the right time and you’re good at
what you do I am very curious with your
story it’s a lot of respect because the
deeper I got the more interested I got
with the whole thing you know
the one question I would have with you
that is something that I think about you
said something you said you know it’s
not good to do the if I had to do it all
over again
I’m not doing that if I had to do all
over again the only thing I think about
is I was in the military I have guns I
have you know I have a lot of things I’m
all about it
but do you think somebody like the
shooter like do you think any of that
with a personality like that could have
been prevented meaning you know you know
how you hear the debate right now with
whether it’s NRA program pro this Pro
that with a little bit more background
check on medicine that some people are
taking or medication they’re on do you
think we need a little bit of luck
because because my idea was I was having
this conversation with a few different
people who are pro-gun and anti gun and
I’m trying to get both sides of it and
I’m not trying to take a hundred percent
position for me I think they need to be
trained do you think medicine is
something we should test for like if
you’re on Zoloft or prozac you probably
don’t need to buy a gun what do you
think about it yourself having gone
through it personally yourself yeah so I
don’t think that’s fair because I think
there are people with a lot of people I
know and myself included where I’ve
taken antidepressants and they’ve been
really good because there’s a legitimate
chemical imbalance if you’re in fight or
flight too long and and yet you’re
completely responsible wouldn’t hurt a
soul right so I don’t know that that’s
the answer but I do know what you’re
saying about how do we how do we find an
indicator for this right and and I like
you talked to people on both sides of it
I am curious I’m not staunch on one way
or the other
but I do think that there may be a part
is that we have to accept evil as evil
and there may be a part that we have to
say somebody who would do horrific
things they’re not going to be easily
identifiable as much as we want them to
be because most people are not like that
most people would not be able to pull
the trigger on another human being for
their own you know because they didn’t
feel good right like that’s we drive
cars and so you know everybody’s had
road rage probably at one point or
another did you have a desire to kill
that person you know what I’m saying
like you could have driven your car into
them people don’t do that once in a
while they do but you the indicator for
evil is what we’re looking for and I
don’t think it’s in depression I you
know I don’t know about drug use right I
might be a bit but this guy then they
had been picked up by the police that
picked up like pulled over for something
and he would say I have PTSD so they
would take him to the mental institution
the mental mental institution would
release
was something other than psychosis
meaning that’s usually code for kind of
like drugs right like we’re not fighting
anything truly mentally physically but
they can’t tell the police because I
HIPAA laws so there’s no communication
between the police and the mental health
agency he also held his girlfriend with
a samurai sword against her neck off of
the wall like a decorative sword against
the wall like a week before he did this
to Chris but she didn’t want to press
charges right because she said he was
protecting her from the outside or
whatever and police can’t write any
record of that right because there’s no
charges so in some ways we’re doing
really really well I’m a very private
person in a lot of ways and so I like
privacy laws but in some ways you know
we’re also doing ourselves a disservice
because you know if Chris would have
known some of these things the lesson we
learned and what I tell people is you’ve
got to be able to talk to a couple of
people they served with probably before
you decide to like take them under your
wing I’m not talking about a cup of
coffee they’ll have a cup of coffee that
anybody want right but he had such
positive experiences hunting and
shooting with veterans and and
organizations who do that that I don’t
think it occurred to him that there
would be and especially when the guy’s
mom comes to you with tears in her eyes
like how are you not gonna help a guy
right and his mom is she’s culpable in
this but she didn’t give Chris all the
information and she should have so and
some people have suggested there’s a
case against her I don’t have any desire
to do that right it doesn’t change
anything and it’s not but the point is a
we have to call it what it is right we
have to not be afraid of it we have to
look at people who say they have PTSD
and use our own judgment right I’m not
saying you dread if they do or they
don’t
but PTSD isn’t this is important to me
that people know this it doesn’t make
you a killer right it does not and B it
is something that you can live through
work through and change and people seem
to think that these veterans have PTSD
it’s the rest of their life get a
paycheck and for know there there are
rape victims with PTSD there are child
abuse victims with PTSD I mean I’ve got
friends who are counselors kids that are
sexually abused and threatened they’re
they’re going their life is gonna be
ended so their life is at risk every
single day in this home and they’re
raped and abused and guess what
help me nobody says you’re off for the
rest of your life they go to college
they get a degree they work right they
go to counselor they get their crap
I mean it’s it that’s a huge mountain to
have on you especially for a kid it’s
it’s doable but you have to invest in it
so we have to get people to a state
where they’re seeing ptsds yes I have a
lot of stress from trauma and it is
changing my reaction to things and my
sleep patterns but I need to find my own
I need to find help or find somebody who
will walk that walk with me to get the
help I need yeah you know the reason why
I asked you from someone like you is
because you you have more insight
because after something like that
happens to you you’re probably gonna go
into research mode wanted to study
you’re probably approached by a lot of
different people they’re bringing up
questions topics all this other stuff so
I was just curious to know what you
thought about it because you know
sometimes how do you how do you measure
a guy like that like how do you sit
there and say no yes is there a
measuring mechanism is it medication is
it arrest report is it what is it to be
able to filter out and say I just don’t
think there’s a person that needs to be
allowed into such-and-such a location or
a gun range or a gun shop or whatever it
is I think you have to use your
intuition right so here’s the thing
Chris obviously had some intuition on
this and so did Chad they knew something
they’re gonna text it each other right
right and then I know his voice on the
phone but he was not happy with this guy
but it didn’t really occur to him right
that he would do that and so what I
think we have to be aware of is that we
don’t know like not all veterans are
heroes we have to be honest about that
there are guys who are bad guys just
like there are dentists who do rape
their patients when they’re under you
know gases and stuff it’s we have to be
honest with ourselves evil exists and we
have to trust our gut more and Chris is
is his philosophy was that intuition
aside he gave his word did you say don’t
worked on intuition intuition aside he
gave his word he didn’t want to go that
day and you know there there probably I
think a lot of Holy Spirit and divine
promptings that we ignore and I think we
need a key into those and go if I don’t
want to go why do I not want to go to I
have a bad feeling or you know and be
honest about that and then if you picked
the guy up and he’s he’s not acting
right you know you yes you want to help
everybody but maybe this is the time
where you going to take a timeout right
this doesn’t feel right I’m gonna I’m
gonna follow up on him a little bit more
I mean I think you know I don’t know how
he would
because there didn’t seem to be a police
report anywhere but I do recommend that
people do that I don’t at all put it on
anything with Chris I’m Chris could have
done because there’s let’s be fair if
something’s off with somebody don’t do
it like to educate you’re saying yeah
and obviously the full disclosure from
other side not everything came out
have you ever confronted her have you
ever had a conversation with her or
never you know it’s interesting she
confronted us I wanted to talk to us in
the courtroom when her son pleaded not
guilty and said it’s just as hard for me
as it is for you and we were like what
your son is sitting right you know you
just saw and talked to her all that
aside I don’t have anything that I need
from them and I don’t have anything to
give them just curious curious enough
that in the very beginning the very
beginning I said oh I feel so bad for
that mother right I didn’t know I said
please tell the people who knew her
please tell her I don’t I don’t hold her
responsible that’s changed when I got
more information and I think that
nobody’s responsible but the person that
pulls the trigger he’s ultimately
responsible he’s paying the price and I
really still my faith you know I believe
that I believe that he can go to heaven
just like everybody else if he believes
in if it’s hard I mean but it’s not mine
I don’t need to minister to him I don’t
need to save him I don’t need to talk to
her you know I mean you’ve forgiven
obviously I don’t I don’t sense a single
ounce of bitterness in you yeah I don’t
know if I’m totally I don’t know I the
forgiveness where it’s hard for that I
just choose not to carry it for him got
it yeah got it so so the part you said
part of his intuition but do you think
there’s any role that the government
plays in it to deal with the shooter
like is there anything that law wise can
change for it to control like additional
testing or background or not really I I
wish there was I personally don’t think
there is because I don’t think I don’t
think that we can find evil in heart I
don’t think you can find it I think it
changes in time I think different things
provoke people as far as what the
government could do I mean the guy got
in some trouble in school right so we
could say well if they’ve gotten in
trouble but here’s the other side of
this one of my good friends is a
ridiculously successful businessman and
he was in so much trouble he dropped out
of school and then he got in trouble
with the law and the judge said you get
the choice right military or jail and he
chose military and look at him now
right so that’s what I’m saying I just I
think if you make a law got it so you
you are from the standpoint of you don’t
think there’s anything we can do that
could prevent a shooter like this
especially from the law side government
side state side to prevent this from
happening okay I do have one thing that
I have one idea on but I’m not sure so
rooting out even when a person’s heart I
don’t think we can do right using our
intuition is important people have
feelings a lot of times when somebody’s
off and we have to respect that and
listen to it and we can’t listen to
everybody that says it right there’s no
blanket statement we can do the school
shootings and the things that are
happening like that when somebody gets a
lot of attention and then we start
talking about what was their background
like what was their deal what would
right they’re getting a lot of attention
for it they don’t want to kill
themselves they don’t even hurt
themselves they just want to take it out
on everybody else and have everybody
else look at their pain so why are we
giving them a voice the thing is if you
shoot up a school
you’re erased you go to jail we do your
trial you don’t exist no care website no
marketing no media to know because you
know what they didn’t want to hurt
themselves they wanted hurt everybody
else so that we would look at their pain
and I don’t think that that’s I think
that exacerbates the problem now you got
copycats there was a day where it
wouldn’t even cross someone’s mind to do
that it’s tough tough today because
freedom of press you know they need
stories to tell right and any of that
stuff the moment it happens every
channel is showing for six hours all day
and they’re getting all this attention
it’s another form for somebody else to
get that kind of attention how many
times you’ve seen people do this just to
get the attention right a lot of times
and it’s not gonna write like that
solution probably isn’t gonna work
because yeah cuz you have to accept the
reality of the world we live in and
that’s kind of what you’re saying like
when I say this you go this is the
reality and I find everybody who wants
it to stop we’re all on the same page we
all want it to stop you’re from Texas
you grew up in Texas no I grew up in
Oregon
oh you grew up in Oregon that’s a said
Oregon and San Diego did you say
California something Californian but
your mother is from Southern California
father some Oregon yeah okay so you’ve
never lived in Southern California I did
when I met crest yeah I lived in Long
Beach and then we lived in San Diego
Long Beach Wow out of all the places I
know very familiar with I’ll be sleeping
yes LBC snoopin I you know
I can i well the way i had to remember
taya has to do a little bit with snoopeh
that’s an inside joke yeah yeah because
he truly is one just so you know yeah
yeah so you know transitioning this one
question was brought up from the
audience that wanted to know a little
bit on the closing of this what ended up
happening with Jesse Ventura what was
the ending with that because there was
so much he came out because in the book
he doesn’t really say cause him scruffy
face or something like that right
there’s a show called Opie and Anthony
and another seal called in and was like
ask him it was this guy and then when
they asked him Chris wasn’t prepared for
that and like I said he’s an honest guy
right so he says yeah there’s someone on
the line saying that you had you were in
a bar fight with Jesse Flores that’s
true I appreciate it but we have an
awake and then he said that what
happened on eclis Chris was the one
thing we’re not gonna name his name and
I was like name his name everybody knows
it happened I mean it was forever ago
before Christmas the idea of Chris even
being in a book right and it was
everybody was there I mean we had 11
witnesses to testify it just it was just
one of those perfect storm things and we
ended up we won the appeals and so you
know there was no money paid out never
because it says December 17 there was an
undisclosed payment some like but
nothing was paid out everything
finalized yeah it got a lot of attention
it was so interesting see it was and you
know what it really taught me you know
we talk about grace there’s so much that
I wanted to say before the murder trial
right and stop saying this guy has PTSD
and and that that case oh my gosh if I
could there was so much I wanted to say
right and and in retrospect I still
could but I think it’s one of those
things again why you look back and you
go in wrestling the bad guy gets
attention to I don’t know that I don’t
know that it’s so much about good guy
bad guys it is attention fair enough
yeah you know I was just curious you
know that
the stories were like this is what
happened here’s what he said this here’s
what he said this and then I think some
of the seals got involved and it finally
was like let’s just one point eight five
one point eight million one point three
five and nothing happens
eighth circuit comes out and he was on
Rogan who was on a bunch of different
places talked about so let’s let’s wrap
up with this book so one American sniper
obviously best-selling book it sold
millions of copies the movie became a
best said it’s it’s changed many
people’s lives in many ways source of
inspiration all these other things then
you wrote the book American wife did
amazing unbelievable results people
loved it you impacted so many people’s
lives with that and now you have your
newest book coming out American spirit
can you tell talk a little bit about the
book and what inspired you want to write
this book yeah so when I was out on the
road and I’d be talking to people and I
was in deep grief and I mean it’s funny
I don’t even remember a lot of the
places I went for speaking engagements
right I was just doing and going through
through that part of my life and grief
and these people would tell me
incredible stories and things that were
happening that were such good news and I
thought why are why are we not talking
about this because for me that was
healing to know that there are a lot of
good things happening in this world
there are a lot of people who are not
what you see in the media they’re not
the left extreme or the right extreme
they’re just they’re just these people
who are doing good things and not not
spewing their political thoughts they’re
just doing good things in the world or
taking care of their neighbor and so I
talked to Jim about it Jim DeFelice who
wrote American sniper American wife
wound and he was like no I think that
really is good so what we did is we took
a collection of the stories and we did
something that we tried to pull from
different age groups from young to older
different areas of life things that you
would never think of that are bringing
good because people need I think to look
at pain as yes horrible grieve it feel
it but what can you do to shine light in
that darkness right what can you do to
have purpose in pain because I person
don’t believe it’s anything God wants
for it I don’t think it’s God designed
but I do think that he will bring us
through it and I do think that whether
people have faith or not and these it’s
not all people of faith in there but
they’re they’re doing something good
with it and sometimes it was because it
happened to them and sometimes it was
because it was somebody they saw and and
a lot of them fascinate me because they
started with a spark
right they didn’t they didn’t set out to
do something big they set out to do
something and and their spark lit a
movement and to me that’s that’s
powerful stuff I tend to think oh I do
something unless I can be big and it
reminds me that some of the most
powerful things in life are the smaller
things right like raising your kids
you’ll probably affect millions of
people through the way that you raised
them and the lives they touch and so
forth and and the goodness that we can
all do is pretty incredible to me it’s
American spirit because it’s it’s our
freedom we have freedom to do these
things and to share ideas and to correct
wrongs in the world and we’re most
charitable nation in the world so let’s
celebrate that part of the American
spirit instead of you know people hating
the country whatever let’s look at the
spirit of who we are there’s the the
pioneer is in the beginning right they
went through great things your family
went through great suffering to get
where you got to you they did it I think
if you ask your parents for the next
generation right got about it right and
that’s what we’re talking about here
that spirit is still alive here we have
opportunity you talk about entrepreneurs
all the time that is what this is you
you are an entrepreneur and you have
that spirit because there’s something in
the world you know you can do right and
you know you can bring something brings
them into the world and that’s that’s
the American spirit we have the
opportunity to do it we do it for the
next generation and we do it in a
variety of different ways and it’s in
the kids too like whenever he goes all
we’re screwed the next generations are
gonna mess it all up I mean people have
been saying that forever right forever
but there’s really good young kids doing
awesome you mind sharing one of them
just share wondrous stories yeah okay so
one of them since we were talking about
you know PTSD and suffering like that
there was a guy named Micah Fink and he
had his own suffering and he had his own
journey and he found his way through it
and he’s got this really cool program
heroes and horses where they train wild
mustangs right up in the mountains and
he tells people this ain’t a vacation
right but if you have a problem and you
want to come come out like get real with
nature and beast and man and you have to
be in touch with the beasts emotions as
much as you do your emotions and you
have to get real right there’s no faking
it and it hard works yeah
there’s everything from that there’s
like homeless organizations who don’t
just give help to homes they change
their life they’re in there for two
years
and they have an amazing attrition rate
so it’s like for like 90% of the people
to go out into the world and never be
homeless again is unheard of but they’re
doing it and they’re doing it because
they cared enough to do things
differently you know I had a friend of
mine many years ago who would say you
know we we don’t need CNN we need GNN I
said what do you mean by gian I said we
need good news network yeah and some
good news we don’t have a lot of good
news we have a lot of bad news it’s all
about what happened who got killed who
did this who did that we need some good
news so and people feed off of that
oh no hateful to each other because
we’re feeding I agree with you I think
there’s a spirit of division I don’t I
think we actually have more in common
than people makes it out to be I sit
down and talk to somebody that we may
have opposing views but there’s 90% of
stuff we agree yes there’s just a 10%
where we made how you accomplish it my
friend the goal is usually the same you
know the only challenge you have with
you this intact and we sat together is
your map span I’m a Lakers fan I think
they’re steel fists the only thing aside
from that what an incredible story
honestly I mean a part of what you’re
saying is God puts tough things in your
life and I think he also chooses the
right people yeah I don’t know if
anybody else could have been Chris’s
wife but you I think that was chosen I
think there was a big plan behind that
and we are through your life experience
learning so much about ourselves and
certain challenges that we may be
dealing with as human beings that’s
private to us that we can sit there and
say I can pick up from those seven
things that he had to go through and she
had to go through oh my gosh I’m gonna
figure out how to get better in these
three years in my life so I have so much
respect for you sharing your testimony
truly and so how can people get a hold
are you more active on Instagram or
Twitter Instagram Instagram okay so we
got to put our handle right here
watching this I suggest you reach out to
a follower an Instagram message her on
what you took away from the interview I
want to hear from you as well comment on
what you took away we’re gonna put the
link both to American spirit and
American wife below for you to go out
and follow that and if you have any
interest in the one plug she gave for
wild mustangs
we’ll get the link we’ll put that also
below for your friend if you want to
find out what it’s like to go hang out
with wild mustangs we’ll put some
description for that as well with that
being said thank you so much for being a
guest invite them and truly thank you
thank you you
because the deeper I got the more
interested I got with the whole thing
legendary Navy SEAL Chris Kyle gunned
down at a Texas shooting range over the
weekend if you shoot up a school
you’re erased you go to jail we do your
trial you don’t exist so why are we
giving them a voice look here my brother
came by here he told me that he
committed a murder
shooting is great for people who love to
do it but it’s not good for people who
are obviously not stable
we’re told that young suspect idolized
the sniper Chris Kyle do you think any
of that could have been prevented you
knew what you were getting into when you
got married that is such crap what was
different about your marriage for you
guys to be able to last as long as you
guys did and she said are you okay and I
have you heard and I said heard what and
she said oh nothing and I said heard
so today I have a special guest with me
who’s the author of American wife as
well as to her new book coming out
American spirit and she’s also the wife
of Chris Kyle who wrote the book it
ended up becoming a movie American
sniper starring Bradley Cooper and
that’s none other than taya Kyle taya
thanks for being on that and with that
you know the more and more I go into the
stories and the entries and all the
things I look at on what you had to go
through the story the movie there are so
many amazing scenes myself being in the
military there are a lot of different
aspects we watch so many marriages how
it was the difficulty the challenges of
raising kids all these things that takes
place it’s very technical a lot of times
from the civilian side people don’t know
all the details the challenges the
struggles has been a mother a wife a
supportive wife trying to make it work
two and a half years he’s away on a
three-year time I mean it’s just
challenging times and at the same time
you want to support so I got a lot of
angles I want to go through with it but
prior to doing that I think it’s best we
just start off with we know the movie we
see the stories we see what it was like
when you guys first met at the bar how
close is that to actually how it was
when you met him the first time how it
is with you guys were like suddenly
single after three years it’s pretty
spot-on they did a good job really
trying to make sure that the facts and
details were accurate even the guys that
did the props wanted to get it right for
my kids and I think that was pretty
special but yeah I did I drank scotch
that night on the rocks and it came back
up and Chris held my hair back just like
Bradley did for Sienna in the movie and
so a few of the details are changed just
because you have to make it really
concise that’s about it so it was it per
question he had to take a shot did that
happen
so that part and did the guy come up who
says hey how you doing can I tell you
said hey if you were six inches taller
and you didn’t put your wedding you know
band away did that also happen or now
well I was I was disagreeing strongly
with one of Chris’s friends when he
decided to kind of break up the
disagreement and say hi to me at the
same time so the writer Jason hall who’s
fabulous we talked quite a bit about how
do we actually he said what were you
arguing about ice I don’t know and he
said what would piss you off and I said
a married guy hitting on me
piss me off so that’s kind of how that
started so we just we created something
that’s as authentic as we can to who we
are and concise enough to put it in a
movie where it makes sense so I watch a
lot of Chris’s interviews and I and I
asked myself I said okay you know we’d
go out a lot as military and we party
along we cause a lot of havoc because
I’m sure he probably did that as well
cuz he seemed like a party guy seem like
a funny guy he seemed like a type of guy
that knew how to get the guys to like
him and he probably had a lot of friends
around him but his flirting style seemed
different than some guys was it just the
fact that he was just so real genuine
just himself like almost the kind of guy
that just here’s Who I am I think you’re
pretty and still seem a little witty was
that his approach yeah you know it’s
interesting you’re very perceptive
because a lot of people don’t pick up on
the fact that he had such a good sense
of humor because our story has been
portrayed with the drama being sort of
the focus point and he was extremely
funny and exactly how you described and
yeah you know it’s interesting he really
wasn’t a flirt which is interesting I
used to tell him you should write a book
on how men can charm women because he
legitimately authentically had this very
romantic side and came up with some of
the best things he would say I mean I
remember before we were engaged and he
said you know if I could sit with God
and he asked me to create the perfect
woman I couldn’t have even created you
because I wouldn’t have dreamed you I
would get help right right
heya Playa he’s the baby so he was so
serious and I mean we were sitting in
front of a bonfire and I was sitting on
his lap and he had his arms around me
and I was like oh my god and this the
way he said it right thought I was like
it was like he went to a depth of his
being to say that and he was vulnerable
and he wasn’t vulnerable a lot so I
think when he would do that kind of
thing with you you were like oh my gosh
like he really means it and that’s what
I picked up on the first night in the
bar when I found out he had just
graduated buds and he told me a few
other things he did instead that were
very funny and when I finally got him to
admit it you know I had an opinion of
Navy SEALs and I told him you know
egocentric you know glory-seeking all of
these things and he looked at me as if
you know I told him the sky was Green
and he said I would die for my country I
already said that it yeah he the first
time you met him first time I met him
and I was like whoa this guy and any
genuinely was asking how how could that
possibly be like it was confusing to him
it wasn’t confrontational and it wasn’t
defensive it was just how it’s got the
chill fellow my buddy
yes brandy depict that that’s so
Brotherhood unbelievable why would you
say I’m self-centered I lay down my life
for my country why this is the greatest
country on Earth I do everything I can
to protect it yeah he really got the
humility of Chris and the kindness of
Chris and I felt like that was a big
part of who Chris was and Bradley did an
accent which people told him not to do
right because that’s the kind of a risk
as an actor you can really throw the
movie if you don’t do it well but he
killed it so yeah that’s good and the
whole humility side your time up with
Chris is I watched him on Conan O’Brien
when he was being interviewed and I
think Conan said so what’s the
difference between SEAL team 3 and 6
this is well you know 3 is this and if
you want to get into 6 you kind of have
to do another boot camp to get into 6 he
says you know did you ever want to be in
six and he says not while I was in but
once I got it I wish I would have right
most people are not gonna say that you
know it’s not an answer you give you
would probably say no I was very proud
to serve with the team that I had but
you know I’m very respectful of SEAL
team 3 that’s like the politically
correct answer to you but he was just
flat-out saying I wish I would’ve done
it yeah you know it that just kind of
gave the side of you know the shucks you
know I wish you know it was a very
humble this is who I am I should have
probably done it I kind of made me it
made me want to like him even more yeah
and you know what people would meet him
all the time and say I hear this so
often I met him and I spent a little bit
of time with him and I felt like we were
gonna be best friends
he had that way about him because his
guard was down and he was he just like
you said he was who he was but if he was
talking to you he looked you in the eye
and if somebody was trying to get his
attention or he didn’t break eye contact
and he didn’t break the conversation
with who he’s talking to
he if a kid was talking to him it could
be thirty minutes and he gave him his
full attention until the kid would be
done and there could be a line waiting
there could be people talking on him it
doesn’t matter if he’s talking to you
he’s talking to you and I think that was
a big
part of his appeal he also was very
light-hearted about things and himself
which i think is he’s good you know you
see him on TV and he didn’t you know
Bill O’Reilly he wore a baseball hat
right this is me and I love that
unapologetic part of him that was just
this is me you’re gonna take me or leave
me and I’m okay with either even when I
first met him I mean I remember there
was a time I was on the phone with him
and I let him call me for a long time
you know and then one day my I found out
my aunt had died and so I called him and
a couple things impressed me and I
called one was he said how do you feel
about it right which was interesting
most people assume there and you know
how you feel about it you know and then
the next day was the part that impressed
me from that phone call he said when you
called and we got off the phone he said
I ran into the other room with all the
guys woke him up and started jumping on
their beds and saying take all day
called and I was like seriously we’re in
our twenties like I was so excited yes
and I started laughing he said they said
you would never call and I wouldn’t get
it he’s like I did though didn’t you
know he’s like I woke him up to tell him
and I thought that’s so unabashed right
yeah I can see guys like that yeah guys
like that what guys you like to hang out
with you were just real pew wanted those
tough guys yeah around you how were his
parents by the way was it a discipline
type of an environment of faith
environment was it a church-going
environment what kind of environment
really yeah oh they were great parents
you know they did go to church a couple
times a week and they christa knew the
bible really really well and you know
they were believers in discipline but it
was controlled right so you know never
hitting their kids in anger or anything
like that so but if you needed a
spanking you got a spanking but it was
like everybody was gonna be calm and you
know I mean I think it was very
principled principled and well thought
out yeah and how about yourself your
parents yeah my parents were phenomenal
I mean my mom was raised in Southern
California and my dad in Oregon so maybe
a little softer on on both of those
states but they definitely wanted me to
be polite and intelligent and take my
academics seriously and you know we had
a lot of fun we do food fights in the
kitchen for example that was nothing you
know out of the ordinary so we had a lot
of fun lights in the kitchen yeah why
not right
Yeah right it’s fun
so they’re very playful and I think
Chris and I had that in common we were
both just really playful when we
connected on that level but they weren’t
they didn’t probably expect as much of
me in the ways that I expected my kids
with chores and stuff like that they
were pretty easy on me with that now you
said you would never date a seal and
then he walked away and it came back and
you said I changed my mind I would never
marry this because your sister had dated
an seal is that part true that your
sister did date a seal no she married a
guy who was in buds oh she married a guy
who was in buds yeah got it
so when you said that so he walked away
comes back did that part also happened
well he didn’t walk away when I said I’d
never he said well I guess I better let
you go but by that time I was already
attracted you know and I said what do
you mean and he said well you said you’d
never date a seal and I said no I said
no I’d never marry one and then he was
like Oh in that case let me get your
number right how long after that did you
know you’re gonna marry this guy who was
I mean we were engaged within six months
okay got it yeah okay very quick and
then after how long how much later you
guys got married six months later so
it’s almost a year to the day after we
met Wow so when you got married was he
already living the lifestyle of military
you know Oh deployment is he already
doing all of that or not yet no he’d
just graduated buds when I met him in
fact the week that he was there it was
sort of there
they were drinking every night and
celebrating and that kind of thing so
okay got it
so you hadn’t yet experienced he’s gonna
be gone six months three months did you
process that yourself prior to getting
married to him or no I mean I thought
about it but I think this is this is why
I’m so passionate we have the Chris Kyle
Frog foundation where we serve marriages
and one of the reasons I’m so passionate
about it is a lot of these people we’re
not getting into the life because it’s
you know it’s not glamorous it’s not
gonna be easy you’re not gonna have a
lot of money right but you love somebody
enough to try and there was something so
unique about Chris that it was just
irresistible I mean I I really was
genuinely happy and laughing more than I
had laughed with anyone and I loved his
youthful nature and his vulnerability
the things that we talked about and so
it was just sort of one of those things
where I can’t not marry him I’d be an
idiot you know and I remember asking my
dad after he met Chris and we were
engaged and I said you know
do you have any reservations and he said
about Chris absolutely not and he said
but my only concern taya is that he’s
probably going to war and war changes
people and I don’t know yeah and my dad
was a lieutenant colonel in the Marine
Corps when he retired he was in reserves
most the time and I said yeah but you
don’t know Chris
nothing changes him right he’s just who
he is and that is true but Chris and I
had kind of a laugh about that before he
was killed maybe a month or two before
and I said you know my dad said that and
he goes really and I said yeah and he
goes I guess he knew what he was talking
about I’m like yeah I guess I told him
that till the month before he got
married you never brought it up oh I
didn’t bring it up to Chris probably
until until maybe a month or two before
he died so you get married and in March
of 2002 after that how much longer until
he got deployed the first time he went
right into a workup and then he was the
second team out they were there when the
war kicked off so it was pretty pretty
soon after I mean I didn’t I didn’t have
kids I think was within the year so 11
years of being married how much how long
was he deployed how long was he gone oh
my gosh I mean if we could do the math
on it it was so much really yeah because
you know there’s stuff that’s on the
book stuff that’s not on the books right
and there’s trainings and work ups and
things even when they were you know what
at home their training wasn’t in San
Diego a lot of times some of it of
course was but some of it was you know
in different different schools in
different places so more than half the
time oh for sure more than half done
okay you’re not just going out there
maybe sacrificing your own life there’s
also sacrifices still going on at home
you can serve in the military and have a
good marriage but you just need to be
aware of it so you can take those steps
to take care of it he even said on an
interview with a pastor he was speaking
out of church and ambassador talked
about marriage and the struggles of
marriage I think you guys had to one
point were going through a possible
bankruptcy financially I don’t know what
it was when he was talking about and he
said maybe seal 95% of marriages don’t
work that’s the number that Chris said
what was different about your marriage
for you guys to be able to last as long
as you guys did right and that’s a good
point by the way we actually were conned
out of a bunch of money that was an
investment but it was a Ponzi scheme
that was the time when people were
really that was happening and then the
real estate market crashed in 2008 too
and so and we were moving cuz he got out
of the military so it’s like the perfect
storm and fortunately we didn’t have to
file but we were at that point talking
to a bankruptcy lawyers not knowing what
to do as you know the banks weren’t
working with people I’m very different
I’m very like I will set that aside I
was such a horrible I remember believe
me moderation that we’re going through
the whole thing I wanted all the pain he
wouldn’t work with you even when you
could get back on track they wouldn’t so
anyway but your question was about our
marriage did you because we’re talking
about you’re married like one of the
questions I asked my wife when we got
married on our first date we went to PF
Changs on our second date I bought her a
book called 101 questions to ask before
you get engaged the second date and I
said I need you to read this I already
know my answers I’m kind of clear on
what I want I don’t want this thing
should just be physical we’ve known each
other for five and a half years you’ve
dated other guys I’ve dated other girls
we kind of know each other but I want
you to read this and then one of the
questions was how long can you be away
from me and be okay with it
and we actually talked about the days
that’s awesome you’re very strategic and
well-thought-out Oh marriage is my
parents got a divorce so for me was kind
of like listen I’m gonna do emotionally
you see somebody like oh my gosh we
click I love her so much she’s so
attractive there’s a connection there
but then illogically everything comes
afterwards and we sometimes don’t do the
logical side so when you were getting
ready to get married to him did you know
like were you mentally prepared to say
he’s gonna be gone next ten years half
the time and I’m okay with that
yeah I did because you know the thing is
I’m a pretty independent person and I I
figured I would handle it here
the deal it’s funny because one of the
things and you’ve probably heard it
being the military – you knew what you
were getting into when you got married
that is such crap
nobody knows and if you talk to people
who aren’t in the military and they’ve
been married 50 years they didn’t know
what they were getting movie there but
because life is a mystery it’s an
unfolding of things that you that you
were surprised by I think for almost
everyone so to answer your question how
did we make the 5% that make it I
believe a blessing I believe that it was
maybe divinely orchestrated but we had
people at certain times who gave us the
advice and and like you I was devoted
this is the guy I’m gonna be with
forever and I don’t want to just coexist
with somebody I want it to be happy
and we had so many good times and laughs
that I think once you have that your
girl was craving getting that back you
don’t want to lose that so I think that
commitment was there and I also my faith
is really important I felt like I
promised God in addition to Chris and to
me the promise to God meant a lot I did
not want to screw that up
so even when he was gone you’d go into
church every Sunday you were stable in
that area no it’s funny I you know I’ve
never had to go to church all the time
I’ve just had this strong connection to
my faith into God even since I was a kid
and it doesn’t always revolve around I
do like to go to church and I do like to
find a good one but I’ve got in years at
a time without going through yeah and I
didn’t know how well christening the
Bible either I’ve never known it as well
as he did so I’ve never known it as good
as he did never unreal and he knew
backward and forward and I still in
learning yeah you didn’t get like a
listen you have your friend said we’re
gonna go double date Friday night
Saturday night what we’re gonna do what
are you gonna do how did you keep
yourself mentally sane cuz when I say
this I’m coming from a place of a lot of
experience knowing what it was like in
military being at the hundred first
every time a group of guys got deployed
yeah every time they got deployed you go
to the nightclub be like okay this night
club is packed because two thousand men
got deployed how did you how did you
mentally keep yourself sane during that
time okay so these are great questions
and there’s a few things and we do these
at Chris Kyle frog Foundation date night
out right the time when you want a date
the least is the time you need it
the most I had somebody tell me about
that and I was like you know that’s so
true time when you’re arguing with your
spouse and you’re thinking I don’t want
to spend extra time with you because
we’re mad and we got to figure this out
first and the advice was no you need to
go on a date right somebody needs to
humble themselves and say let’s find a
way to make this happen and that’s hard
a military life and first responder like
to make the time to have the money to
get some new watched kids whatever but
we did that and that always helped
because the first little bit that you’re
out together you’re having a blast and
you’re like I I love you I like you what
are we doing right we had we do
revitalization retreats at the weekend
away because one of my favorite memories
with Chris was when my mom gifted me a
weekend to go see him when a training
didn’t go well right they were he’s like
I’m so bummed we’re gonna stay in this
hotel all weekend I happen to be with my
kids visiting my mom and so she paid for
the ticket and and the plans were
already made which because he was where
he was so having somebody pay for it and
plan it and have it done so you just get
there and enjoy each other’s company is
huge we do that empowered spouses is
retreat we do it’s 20 women for five
days no cell phones
up in the mountains and we do all kinds
of things from skeet shooting the
archery to hiking the yoga as breaks but
then the rest of the time it’s hard for
academic work and we’re diving in deep
to emotions tools to use in your
marriage because service marriages are
different right and this is a non-profit
is a nonprofit specific to military
veterans or active duty veteran and
first responders all these service
marriages are at high risk of divorce
what is the name of that organism Chris
Kyle frog foundation frogs because frog
men Navy SEALs and had a frog tattoo
yeah so the marriage is really important
it is really hard and what you were
talking about there are all kinds of
dynamics like how do you have faith
right so if Chris is out on a training
mission with a bunch of young guys with
a lot of testosterone a lot of fun a lot
of drinking some married some not and
it’s surprising how many women want to
just have sex with a guy because he’s a
seal right like the uniform Scott anyway
and then you find out your seal and how
do you deal with that and know that
there’s infidelity going on and trust
that your husband isn’t one of those
right and how do you trust that when you
call him you can’t always get him maybe
it’s because they’re in a remote area
training maybe it’s because they’re at
the club right I mean that’s a different
dynamic it’s very very hard to the
imagination to not let loose because
that’s what happens now you’re laying in
the bed by yourself and your education
is just going to a place yeah he’s in
this place what if that’s taking place
and he’s got one friend I’m worried
because our friend is single you know
you’re thinking oh that’s right how are
you controlling your imagination my
journey with Chris was really I think a
journey of turning fear into faith and
it it started with some of those issues
as well not just war right but how do
you trust this marriage there’s a few
things one is you know if you know your
spouse inside now you know if it’s
happening you do you can question it you
can try to look around you can you know
there’s something different with them
right and these guys are also trained to
lie in case they got captured I mean
there’s a lot of things that you go as a
wife oh my gosh
right and Chris would tell me yeah we’re
trained to do that but if you really
know somebody they have a tell that they
don’t they’re not aware that they have
and you’ll pick up on it right I think
you also know when your marriage is
really solid and Chris just wasn’t the
type of guy to do that stuff he just
wasn’t and so you didn’t go there a lot
no I didn’t but you know he did have a
hard time though right like there was a
time where things were not good and and
my method was I thought if I pull away
he’ll come closer to me and when I
pulled away he thought she’s done with
me and he went this way right so he
would go away no I mean he emotionally I
thought if I pulled back in the
relationship a little bit instead of
keep trying to push and we should be
closing reasonably close where I stopped
fine I’ll pull back he’ll come forward
right no he thought if you’re pulling
out you must be done with this marriage
so what happened in that moment well it
was it was over time it was over time
and there was a perfect storm of things
that happened and you know it just it
was it was the hardest time and we
detailed a little bit in the book
American sniper but that was the worst
time and I realized I have some
responsibility in that and that’s why at
the Frog Foundation we are pulling these
couples together because it’s two people
it’s never just one right and I had some
responsibility to learn about this life
and and what he needed I also I grew up
a strong independent woman right and
that’s what a lot of servicemembers they
marry a strong spouse dad is a
lieutenant colonel but then you have two
alphas that are trying to be 112 you and
Chris right because usually service
people marry strong people right because
they know they’re gonna be gone no doubt
and so now you have to Taipei’s right in
one house and so the other part of my
journey was learning that and this isn’t
too popular with a lot of people these
days but I do believe that in the
marriage the man should take the lead
right and in doing that I don’t lose any
our I gained a ton of power and that’s a
misconception I think in society that
you know we’re fighting for power
everywhere
and the truth is you can lead the world
outside of your marriage do it right but
when you come back there’s one thing
that a man needs always it’s respect and
you can say he shouldn’t he should it I
don’t care it’s how he’s made period
I’ve never met a man that doesn’t need
it and my son taught me a lot about
being a man right because there are
things that are innate that nobody’s
teaching him that are just innate to
being a man right yes so it’s so cool
and so in women we need to be cherished
and that feels a lot like respect right
if you’re giving the man respecting
you’re saying I married you cuz I
respect you it’s not it’s not submitting
like oh I can’t make a decision it’s
saying you know somebody’s got a lead
you lead and you know what happens the
guy usually says hey babe what do you
think about this right because when it’s
not threatened you’re much more no doubt
desirable yeah very very true when
you’re saying that so you know the other
part would be how did you handle it
yourself you’re an attractive woman
yourself your husband’s away there’s
guys out there looking at us saying hey
there’s an opportunity here how did you
handle one guys floated with you when he
was away you know that’s an I’m kind of
glad you brought that up because I know
there was this thing about women being
harassed or sexually harassed or in the
workforce or whatever maybe I just was
raised really strong I’ve never not been
able to handle my business ever and I’m
not insulting anybody that has had a
problem because I know there are people
that it’s been horrible for them and
emotional but I know I’m smart
I know if a man’s coming on to me I know
if he’s pushing the line and I know how
to jokingly and not offensively call it
outright and I’ve been very direct with
people before right well not if you’re
as direct as you were in that movie
I mean you know and the feeling I’m
getting from you but you know say
somebody say a woman who wasn’t raised
in an environment where they know right
how to do it oh how not to do it
what is your coaching we know I’m a
woman I’m married my husband is in
Afghanistan he’s deployed and I’m kind
of like well hey I’m kind of struggling
with this you know because I’m like
single I have some needs how do I what
was your approach what was a system
perfect I give you I’ll give you a
graceful example of a way I think where
it worked perfectly married guy right in
a work environment and he was at a
position of power and and he was
pressure me flirting whatever I could
handle it whatever and then when he came
right out and said it
I said you know what my idea is you give
you give somebody the opportunity to
save face right you’re not out to just
destroy so I said you know what I
believe that you love your wife and I
know that she loves you and I think you
just made an error in judgment here and
I’m I’m gonna look past it we’re gonna
move on because I don’t really think
that’s that’s who you are
so let’s let’s move forward right okay
so that’s one if he’s married what if
he’s single I think if he’s single and
if you’re not interested right and then
you’re uncomfortable or whatever you
could say you know you’re a great guy we
need to find somebody for you right we
need to find a way for you to get
somebody that meets that matches your
personality because you’re it’s a way to
say I’m not interested but you’re giving
them an opportunity to save face – and I
don’t think I don’t think you need to be
defensive or or on the hunt right now if
it’s getting the point where somebody’s
you know touching you and and stuff like
that
then you got to draw the line if you got
to call the cops you got to call the
cops if you got to say this is an
appropriate it’s inappropriate sure you
can do it with a smile on your face and
still look them in the eye the next day
I think that says a lot about the
character now that’s great but I think a
lot of that is not being talked about
I’m being and and I’ve been on both
sides I’ve been we partied heavy and we
were then we would see all of it we
would see the married side that single
side all this I have my own opinions
about marriage while you’re in Hollywood
sports music or military I have a
certain opinion about those four things
what is your opinion about getting
married
in your 20s while you’re in the military
and you are getting deployed advice both
to men
you were married to an a-type that went
straight to the top sniper 160 confirmed
some call him the greatest of all time
as a sniper he gives credit to a
different guy hatch hatch cock I guess
yeah I mean he gives credit to the other
guy but a lot of people said he was the
one with 160 confirms
so this is not a regular if you plays
another sports he’s one of the best to
play the game and you’re an a-type what
advice you given to a 23 year old that
saying but hey I’m kind of alone I feel
like I gotta love somebody in this girl
I’m seeing you know I’m thinking about
pulling you do a trigger and saying yes
or the girl said nothing like getting
married but he gets deployed a lot what
advice would you give well I think first
of all you have to understand that it’s
gonna be a mystery and it’s gonna unfold
you just don’t know if it’s combat
deployments you don’t know if they’re
gonna get injured right there’s so many
rables so I think you have to know that
at the end of the day this is the person
that you really are committing to for
real right like those vows are no joke
if his legs were amputated we still love
him would you still stand by him you
know would you brush his teeth would you
do the things that you need to do that
way I think that’s a good indicator of
if yes then that’s a good solid soulful
love not just a physical love I think if
you have faith and you have commitment
and you have some idea of how these
marriages work it’s really helpful one
of the things that you have to do is
know you’re not going to have the time
that other people have and you’re not
gonna have the money that they have so
the conventional advice in the civilian
world is not going to work for your
service marriage so another reason our
foundation exists it’s not rocket
science they’re just different tools
civilian counselors will not be able to
help you so I think if you can find a
mentor of someone oh yeah if you can
find a mentor of somebody who made their
military marriage work ask them some
questions I’d be ideal oh my gosh you
give such great counsel I’m gonna
transition that into business because
our audiences entrepreneurs you know a
lot of times when you get married to
somebody who maybe he or she say you are
the woman you’re the entrepreneur he’s
not or you’re the man you’re the
entrepreneur she’s not and you you date
somebody and you’re getting ready to get
married and she was raised in an
environment where the father came home
every night at five o’clock and
everybody had that whole regular
lifestyle and say this is but this is
how I saw it I saw my mom and I having
dinner every night at five o’clock six
o’clock how come you’re not gonna be
doing that yeah I think it’s important
my wife and I were dating and I asked
her I said who are you talking to like
if let you say you want to have a
falling out who are you gonna call what
if I weren’t gonna call and eventually
got to opponent when we went to saw
counselor before getting married and I
said I want us to talk to a counselor on
scene what feedback they’re gonna give
us before we get married every
girlfriend I dated we saw a therapist or
counselor because I know we need help so
I want feedback so we’re both on the
same page and the one the counselor said
in order for marriage to work you both
have to have dinner every night at six
o’clock because that’s the key to
successful marriage I said we’re never
gonna see you again
right I got up and I walked out I said
babe I like the guy said it’s not about
like the guy he’s not living my life
that’s right and I’m not him that’s
right so what you’re saying is very
important because sometimes we could
take
counsel from somebody that may give good
counsel for a certain lifestyle but not
the lifestyle you’re choosing to live
the lifestyle you’re choosing to meth
it’s not an easy one right so
interesting what you’re saying how can I
touch on that first though because I
think that you know my my friend who was
so brilliant about this too if you give
if you give a guy the opportunity to
lead right so in your situation if you
know your wife is counting on you to
lead right and that the responsibility
of the family unit is on you the
Wellness of it right are you gonna treat
that a little differently than if your
wife is saying you need to be home at 6
o’clock and we need to have a family
dinner right giving you the
responsibility
all of a sudden puts this as is much
more valuable it’s not just your job
you’re in charge of you’re also in
charge of the Wellness of your family
right and I think that that’s that’s
part of that misconception thing for
people they think that they’re losing
power they’re not like they’re gaining
everything and and you’re right you do
need somebody to to be a friend to your
marriage so that that woman that said
when you want to date the least you need
it the most she’s a pediatrician her
husband as a SWAT officer and she said
to me one time she said hey I want you
to know this about me I am your friend
but I’m a friend of your marriage first
because I think that’s the best way to
be your friend
right and I had to think about that and
what she’s saying is if you are if
you’re just my friend Patrick and I call
you and you’d be like man don’t put up
with that crap from him done it right
but if you’re a friend of my marriage
first you are a better friend to me
because what you’ll say is okay let’s
look at this let’s dissect it where is
he coming from do you have an
understanding of his situation right so
I think you need to have people who are
friends of your marriage
I will never win an argument about my
dad and I if I tell him anything about
my wife I’m upset with I will never win
right it’s always your fault Pat you
know you got to go figure it out you
look what who you have there etc etc and
that’s on her side which eventually
anyways helps the marriage on so you
know there’s a scene in a movie which
was very interesting to me where you’re
laying next to each other and at least
that’s the movie whether your lay next
to each other and you’re asking him tell
me why you’re doing this and he says I’m
doing it for you anything I’m not doing
it for me why are you doing this your
family
here your children have no father you’ll
have to serve my country you don’t know
when to quit you did your part you
sacrificed enough you let somebody else
go somebody lets go
yeah yeah welcome yeah well you find a
way I’m almost certain that probably
happened at one point yeah for sure how
did it feel knowing and if you disagree
with the statement I’m about to make
please do so oh you know I will right no
that’s why that’s why I like this of
conversation because I really want to
have some insight on this I was in the
military I saw it I think there’s a lot
of people that do struggle with this
there’s a part of being a Navy SEAL I
mean Navy SEAL is a Navy SEAL it’s not
just army Marines it’s Navy SEAL how’s
it feeling knowing that the country
comes before you you know knowing his
responsibilities and duties come first
before the family does at least that’s
what the commitment is right how did
that feel and did you ever feel that way
and if you did were you okay with it
right no I that’s was part of my journey
and growing into this because when Chris
would always say he would never say one
was more important than the other he
would just say you know I feel like I
need to do this this is my purpose too
but you’re equally important and I
didn’t understand that until I was more
in his position after he died where my
kids are equally as important but I also
have this other thing that I’m trying to
do too right and I had to work through
that and figure that out and I realized
how difficult that can be
I also think in growing and learning
about just the Corps of men purpose is
important for everyone it was really
important to me too for some reason as a
woman I think were very complex
creatures and so we can have purpose
here and purpose there and we can you
know sometimes it’s a burden to be that
complex you know but I think there’s a
simplicity to men that is beautiful and
necessary in this world and some of that
simplicity that purpose is a necessity a
man is not going to be a healthy man not
having a strong sense of purpose outside
of just being a dad to husband right and
so I think we have to respect that and
say it’s not a choice he’s making it’s
part of his makeup right and that’s a
good thing not a bad thing
so I learned to understand it a little
bit more I think toward the end when he
got out we don’t talk about a lot there
were there are other options for him to
do that wouldn’t have been combat but
combat was what his his purpose was and
that’s they overused him and they know
that they broke every rule and kept
sending him back you know needs the
Navy’s Trump everything and so there
were parts of him that were just you
know we blew out both knees physically
mentally emotionally they were killing
him because they didn’t let him be human
for just a minute just take a breath
give him a year to just do a shore duty
and and I’ve gotten calls from some of
the higher-ups at apologizing you know
afterwards saying I’m really sorry yes
handle that call you know I try to give
grace because I understand regret and I
understand that you did the best you
could at the time with the information
you had right and I’m glad that you see
it now because that means you can do it
differently for someone else
right and and honestly I’m really in a
way look it ended up being a blessing
because he knew it I knew it and so he
made the choice right and in doing that
for his short life he got to be a dad
and he got to be there all the time and
I mean he was working but you know I’m
saying every night type of thing and it
was I heard him say and I’m so glad I
did two guys that were thinking about
getting out he would say I’m not ever
gonna be one that says you should get
out of the military but if you’re asking
me because you want to get out I’m
telling you I have more joy in my family
than I ever had in the military you can
do 30 years in the military I’m not
trying to tell guys to get out all I’m
trying to do is say hey look take care
of your family because once you’re out
of military your time will end sooner or
later and then what are you going to
have you better make sure your life is
set up to have your family and I
wouldn’t believe that necessarily when I
was in right because you have that sense
of purpose and it’s life and death
adrenalin yes I overheard him on the
phone saying he would tell me he wanted
to live you know before when he’s in the
military if you die in a blaze of glory
you know okay great no problem once he
got out he was like man I want to live
to be an old man well you know yeah I
saw that window he was being interviewed
I think on Time magazine and the lady
was asking 10 questions from him and one
of the questions was you know a house of
feel knowing you’re the best sniper of
all time and what if for the rest your
life you don’t do anything as good as
this I’m a better husband and father
than I was killer
I’m pretty comfortable with
not having to kill anyone so he defended
that yeah and what it was mainly yeah he
said and then he said what I do
currently right now I do it very good is
what do whatever his job was at the time
and he says look as long as you allow me
to go you know doing all this stuff if
you stop me from doing deer hunting I’m
gonna be miserable but aside from that
I’m a pretty I feel like I can do a lot
of things yeah so you can sense the
pride he had on being a husband and a
father there was a lot of pride behind
that and some of the clips you posted
with you know him reading he says I’m
gonna read two books to you when I’m
gone you know those things are very
emotional so the kids are gonna
my father was telling me he surprised my
sister a video he found of her run and
run in the park when she was two and my
sister’s older and he was shown this
video I’m like wow you know getting back
in the days you know camera didn’t exist
yeah forty some years I said dad yep the
videos up me up like I’m waiting show me
some videos he says no I don’t have any
videos I said I’m younger it’s how do
you not have it ISA sighs I just didn’t
take my girl baby girl but obviously I
understand have a girl know there’s a
big difference than looking out for your
daughter then the son it’s a different
kind of love plus you were the second
kid right it’s the second he’s a little
bit harder to keep up when you got to
you know they get less pictures of them
yeah so much today because I have so
many more videos on my first one than
the other two because the first one was
like you know pride enjoys your first
kid experimenting I want to touch on one
thing he said when Chris said he was a
much better husband and father that is
true but I want people to know that that
there is a transition period that I was
not prepared for so getting out of the
military and that’s one of the reasons
with the Frog Foundation we deal with
veterans too you think when he’s on
leave we’re having such a good time that
when he gets out it’s like leave all the
time is gonna be awesome and it really
wasn’t it was really hard for the first
year he really struggled getting out he
really struggled with having a sense of
purpose change he struggled with where
he was gonna find his place and dealing
with all the things that he experienced
I guess probably started to flood back
in and he didn’t have regrets about it
but I just think it’s a lot to process
so I would encourage people who are
consider
that to be prepared that it is not an
overnight thing and he got to that point
I think very quickly all things
considered but it wasn’t overnight it
was really rough when he got out it was
a true the fact that you know he would
wake up in the middle of the night if he
didn’t say his name he would punch you
would swing he did that before the
military though that’s just he was just
always like a jumpy with an excess
because he said there’s two things I
said I want to do in life one I want to
be a cowboy – I want to be sorted it was
a something assistance it was a kid so
that kind of makes sense because there’s
a level congruence there but it did get
a little I mean probably got a little
more aggressive but it did yeah little
more grit I’m probably it was never it
was never a problem for me until after
he was in the military right but if it
was the stranger like if he fell asleep
on a plane or somebody come up swinging
her yeah yeah you see did you see the
movie Hurt Locker did you didn’t I
should have but I think I think there
will be a similarity there because he he
was feeling going back it’s almost like
this is I have to do this you can’t keep
me out here I got to go back and do it
again saying fifty nine are dead you
know they need more bomb techs for me
did Chris ever had that element too or
no well not after I mean after he got
out I don’t think that was as much a
part of it because like I said they’ve
really burned him down but I do think
it’s something you said to spark this in
me they did a test like a simulator
thing on him because they were trying to
study in the military the effects of war
and that kind of thing and so it was a
simulation where he had a gun and they
put all the sounds of the war and there
was people studying him right and so and
as soon as the the gunfight started his
blood pressure went down right and so he
was in his calm place and whatever and
the only time it spiked was when there
was another American or ally soldier
that was screaming I don’t want to die I
don’t want to die I’m hit
right and that’s when all of a sudden
everything started to jumbled and Chris
and that’s so true to his personality it
was the guys that he couldn’t save right
because he never saw his job as taking
lives he saw it as saving lives and if
you didn’t if you didn’t take this life
than these lives and that was from his
very first kill which was in the movie –
right if he didn’t take that shot five
or six people died right
and so it’s just I think that also says
what his trauma was his trauma wasn’t
for the job that he did he was able to
make that right in his head
it was the people that you can’t save he
talked about that on many many different
interviews you know when I was in those
situations the only thing I’m thinking
of is trying to stop them from the act
of violence that they are trying to
commit on my guys but allies or the
innocent civilians in those cities
they’re leaving behind their families
and their families go through hard and
stressful times without their spouses
being there I would love to be known for
the number of people I saved I’m
committed to making sure every service
member that was over there whether
American or allied came home it’s been
over six years right
have you already moved on and started
dating so I know it’s very common
question nobody asks you what I’ve been
asking everybody’s asking you are you
dating
have you started feeling little bit more
comfortable like getting into the dating
scene or no no and you know it’s
interesting about that I’ve I’ve done
some deep dives into some therapy there
was a type of therapy called accelerated
resolution therapy it uses your eye
movements and your brain connections and
develops pathways and at one of the
times I was telling her I can’t think
about it without wanting to throw up or
cry and so yeah and I’m like obviously I
have an issue that’s buried there
because it’s probably six years has gone
by I should probably be able to think
about it without that reaction right and
so she she went through it with me and
even though it kind of makes me want to
cry but she did go through it with me
and she said you just need to picture
Chris and get him with you and write a
new contract with him and I couldn’t do
it I mean I really I know I couldn’t do
it right and she said you need to write
a new contract how does he come with you
for the rest of your life but in a way
that is different right and I you know I
had the ugly cry I got painting
everywhere and I was like I can’t do it
and that’s hard for me because I like to
just toughen up and muscle through and
do what I need to do especially to get
better I want to get better and and so
she said okay then you just got to sit
down with yourself and then you talk to
you and make a new contract right so
what you’re doing is you’re connecting
your left and right brain when you do
that and you’re following a hand
movement so that your eyes access the
different parts
I realized more the issues and I
realized the excuses and I kind of was
able to make some peace to say maybe the
red flags or the excuses I’m putting up
are not legitimate I mean I could go
with kids I could go with time I could
go with all these reasons why it would
just never work and and I don’t want to
but at the end of the day I did all that
and I still have a hard time with the
idea so I I’ve been thinking even this
week it’s funny you bring it up I’ve
been thinking this week that maybe I
need to go go see somebody gonna I mean
I’m not dying to have somebody that’s
fine but no I’m not at all I feel really
happy like you’re fulfilled you’re not
so fulfilled but I also think that if
you see a problem and you the right
thing to do is to find a way to you know
to get it out and I don’t think it’s
normal that I feel like crying to think
about that or that love the idea of love
makes me cry for me for other people
that’s my foundation work I love it I
want to keep people married and I could
I could guess that it’s the pain of loss
I guess that’s me wanna cry that’s
probably a big one because I don’t love
in halves you know I love in holes if I
love you I love you with all of me and
that’s the same for my friends my kids
and so I don’t know that it was hard to
survive that you know I bet I saw a
speech you gave to a classroom where you
said did your son tell you mom you don’t
need anybody because I love you yes what
a powerful thing it was and you know
what two months ago maybe he’s that in
front of me he’s a mom I just wanted you
to know that if you found somebody you
were happy with I’d be happy for you Wow
how old was it when he said it’s 14 and
I I asked him I said was that hard for
you to say and he said a little bit and
I said out of loyalty to your dad or
just the idea of it and he said both you
know I said I get it and then he was
fine and I started crying and crying you
know and I was like I just can’t picture
it I just don’t see it you know but
thank you it means a lot to me that you
said that and so I you know I don’t know
I know I got work to do obviously it
something’s broken in there still you
know I give you my testimony real quick
for you to process it any way you want
well my parents got a divorce
I did not want either one of them to
marry
at all let me tell when I tell you I
mean at all yeah and I was
overprotective of my mother I mean I was
overprotective about everybody yeah
because when they got a divorce I was at
Germany at a refugee camp divorce was
probably filed when I was 11 and then
you know in the Middle Eastern culture
when a wife goes through divorce it’s a
mess so she didn’t want to go through it
to remarry and I would say don’t but
looking back oh my gosh you know as a
son now of both my parents yeah I would
have loved to have seen them both
remarry right for many reasons one is
number one would be emotionally right to
have somebody to have a conversation
would just having a conversation before
and I was talking to my friends I was
saying hey so let me ask you because I
was processing your historian and
historian said marriage you I asked my
friends were divorced and some that were
married and some that were single I said
do you miss being married yes tell me
why what do you miss I miss having
sharing a life with somebody was a key
word and this is coming from an alpha
male right
I miss sharing my life with somebody
don’t get me wrong I’m courier driven I
want to do all this up but I miss
sharing my life with somebody yeah
that’s a big deal I know because I I
mean even when Chris was deployed I had
those moments where I said the problem
is they’re my memories not our memories
right and I still struggle with that but
I tend to just have really good
girlfriends and I just I tell him I
share the memories just so that
somebody’s there to share them and older
my kids get you know we share em but you
know I think I think a part of it has to
be a level of admiration from whoever
you date for you for you for Chris yeah
you know it’s this is a weird example
but I I look at the rock okay the rock
his ex-wife his name is Danny Danny
Garcia and Danny Garcia is his agent and
manager today and the guy he used to
train with is her husband now and they
still train together and they have a
phenomenal relationship together nothing
weird it’s just a phenomenal relay all
her all his business dealings all go
through her so it works out because the
husband has respect for the old
ex-husband they still have kids family I
think it needs to be a situation like
that because you didn’t just marry a
regular guy you made a high achiever a
peak performer and a type and he’s got a
Roenick though because I met him it’s
just a regular guy yeah but but that’s
even that’s even what makes it special
the fact that it was the journey for
March 2002 to February 2nd of 2013 that
journey is what makes it what it is
today but he was unique I shouldn’t say
he was a regular guy there’s something
different about him or when the married
oh yeah no doubt about it I wanted kid
knows from beginning that listen I’m
gonna go in the military I’m gonna be a
cowboy like he’s saying he’s a kid he’s
not playing around
exactly he’s being very serious about
what I’m saying and I like the part
about what the reason why I think
Bradley Cooper was the right fit to play
his role in an interview when they asked
Bradley Cooper about the role his father
played in his life and his father played
a very big role in his life he said they
set a great example to me because my
parents wanted me to choose a career
that made me happy but I also had a lot
of self-generated these are what award
he was he said self-generated these
aren’t I think Chris had a
self-generated desire to go to the top
so transitioning into Bradley you know
how did you feel I’m like this guy put
on 50 pounds took the axe and took all
of that to play the part and he I mean
you’re watching as you’re thinking
that’s not Bradley Cooper I’m looking at
guy Chris Kyle I was in the movie
there’s a few movies that do that to you
there’s a reason why this movie from you
know box office at 600 million dollars
that’s a lot of numbers right my gosh
yeah I did a field you know having that
scene you know Bradley played a role
it’s such an emotional thing because
Brad is just a good person too and he
really put his heart and soul into it I
was not a part of the making of the
movie and in fact the I mean I spent all
my time with Jason the screenwriter got
it and then and Bradley and I are
friends today and I have a lot of
respect for him I wasn’t on set to the
point where the last day they said do
you wanna come for the last day it’d be
a great way to wrap it up and and my son
had a spelling bee and he was champion
of his class and then he had the grade
wide spelling bee that day and I was
like I can’t do it man like yeah my kids
like
and I don’t have any regrets he won it
was pretty cool I wouldn’t miss it for
the world
yeah so it was fun you know but I never
did go to the set and watching the movie
is very emotional I’ve only seen it
twice and its entirety once when I went
to Warner Brothers to preview it and
once at the premiere it’s it’s very
powerful it’s so well done and even
sometimes when I’m on a speaking
engagement and that and some people
choose to play like a clip of the movie
it’s really hard for me to go on after
they play a clip yeah it’s really well
done so so do you look at Bradley Cooper
today as is it a emotional like you look
at them as an actor in a talent you look
at them as a friend would you look at
Matt you know there’s a part of me
that’s emotion when I see Bradley I told
you you’re intuitive yeah there’s both I
I do have an emotional connection there
and it’s been confusing sometimes to me
because I think that the biggest thing
is that he understood Chris and he loved
him right and I think I think in a
spiritual sense Chris spent time with
them and to me that’s a powerful draw
because I feel like you know my husband
right and you know I’m better than a lot
of people because you studied them and
you embraced him and you embodied him
and I believe that you accessed him you
know while you were doing this and so
there is that emotional connection and
it’s interesting to have that with
somebody that you didn’t know prior
right because you have a depth that you
didn’t create because the two of you sat
and talked or answered your questions in
your book and and he’s been really
patient and going through that process
with me through my grief too you know
where I’m trying to figure out how makes
sense of it you know but I also think
he’s a he’s a longevity type guy when it
comes to friends you know he’s got
friends from childhood and he’s not
going anywhere you know and so I that’s
been the nice thing for me to think feel
like feels like no time and then time
and then I looked back and realized man
he’s been a friend for a long time and
been really patient through all the kind
of different things did you ever look at
him and was there an emotional
attraction to him after seeing how close
he played Chris if I think it was so
overwhelmingly sad all of it
you know I think Bradley didn’t sit with
him at the premiere either and I think
he cried for a while after you know it
closed there and then I did I stood up
and hugged Jason and his amazing life
and like escaped real quick and just
went in the hallway and just bawled my
eyes out you know and and so there there
was that at that time I think but you
know he’s yeah there is a connection
there based on that right but but he’s
his own person too and I’m my own person
and we’re living our own lives too it’s
just I can’t make sense of it I mean
when I see the interview of you and him
there’s a couple interviews but when you
see the interview and you can tell the
intensity in the room with a level of
calmness it’s so weird
what is your chest your breathing cards
and right next to him and he’s you know
calm and you guys talking about the
whole story from a you know I’m not I’m
not part of the story on that part of
Bradley’s life I’m not part of your life
looking at from the outside I said
listen there it there is some kind of an
emotional connection there
I’m sure there’s different for Bradley
Cooper to play wedding crashers you know
or what was the hangover or stars born
which was insane there is death there as
well but it’s a different kind of a
death and service and marriage and armor
and valor and all of that combined
that’s like yeah you know so when I
looked at energy yeah when I looked at I
said you know what interesting I’m so
curious in how your conversation went
together because you looked at me like
there was an attraction there was it
emotional what was it that you saw that
as a person from the outside that’s
fascinated by movies and stars and
stories just an observation myself to
you I think that yeah I think there’s
immense gratitude to I can never you
know his is dedication of that role set
my life on a different path too and so
I’ve got two men that I owe that to
right and it’s Chris and it’s Bradley
Wow
right they set me up to be able to go
forward
and I know that’s very important for
someone like you to experience it the
way you have so the part about your kids
I remember one time you were saying they
hadn’t seen the movie have they seen the
movie censor no they haven’t but they’re
you they’re getting there right they’re
getting to the point and Bradley wants
to be there when they do watch it so
we’ll have to figure out a time for that
in the future and that’s got to be
recorded for your own memories like you
think oh my gosh like that listen if I’m
the father I’m telling you I want I want
that to be recorded in keV yeah because
and if I’m the kid and imagine I’m your
son today 14 but visualize me at 40 I
want to see my reaction because I want
to show that to my kids one day yeah I
want them to see it I want them to kind
of see here’s who was your grandpa yeah
just so you know and here’s how much
your dad loved his dad yeah the level of
respect that form that’s gonna happen
soon huh yeah I think so my daughter’s
been asking more than my son believe it
or not she was she was so close to her
dad too and so yeah it’ll be interesting
I don’t you know I’ve had this
hesitation I’ll tell you why it was
really important to me that their
memories are so solidified of their dad
then nothing can change that
right and so I don’t I didn’t want
anything to interfere with that also
that was really a heavy subject matter
you know and they’re not any strange of
that from the time they’ve been toddling
you know they’ve seen me get a call at
one of our friends died and we pray for
the family and you know they’re not a
stranger to the realities of war and and
things like that but I think I just
needed to make sure that there they were
so solid in their own memories that they
didn’t ever wonder was that my memory or
was that from the movie you know the
shoot the movie in 14 or 15 we were
working on it at 13 I think so they
turned in the rough draft for the movie
the day before Chris was killed so they
were already working on it right yeah
that’s right because of it because
Bradley and him only had one
conversation together on the phone I
think yeah did you ever have a chance to
meet Clint Eastwood as well or no oh
yeah oh my gosh yes and I’ve seen him a
couple times since then and what a neat
guy oh my I just I bet yeah they came
out you know they came out to stay in
little Midlothian Texas and stayed at
the Holiday Inn down the street and you
know they they were very kind and how
when they came out to visit I have a lot
of respect for Clint on how we tell
stories and the kind of a talent he is
and I put him in the genius category I
don’t yeah there’s a he’s in a class of
his own there’s only it’s all the music
to he wrote a theme song called taya
song in Americans name for real yeah
he’s a composer yeah it’s crazy yeah I
see him as somebody like that I seem as
a full-on genius
oh yeah bit of a maybe mad genius off
camera he’s not though you know he’s
just he’s literally like a just kind of
a Oh shucks laughs really oh my gosh
easygoing yeah just yeah real calm chill
just what you’d want him to be kind of
witty and he’s very witty he was a stud
growing up I mean this guy’s like a
good-lookin you know a handsome you know
he was like lady killer woman love him
and today he’s still running the game
you can tell that’s pure love of the
game at this point you’re not doing it
to make another 50 million or 20 members
love the game you mind if we transition
to the event of what happened when Chris
was shot legendary Navy SEAL Chris Kyle
the most lethal sniper in US history was
gunned down at a Texas shooting range
over the weekend the authorities have
now released the 911 after that shooting
look here my brother just came by here
the murders allegedly shooting him and
his friend at point-blank range the two
were trying to help an Iraq war veteran
eerie text message from former Navy SEAL
what I want to know is when chat text
him saying this guy is a loose cannon I
don’t know the exact words he use but he
said this guy’s a bit off yeah and then
I think Chris text back saying watch my
six which obviously watched my six watch
my back so when he was going out was
this the first time every day went out
with him
so they’ve never been out with them
right it was a mom who it was at our
kids school and said my son has PTSD
will you help him he did not according
to psychiatrist on both the prosecution
and defense
he never had any traumatic event his
life he didn’t have it he was getting a
lot of money from the military claiming
it right and he was getting out of a lot
of trouble claiming it but he didn’t
actually according to them have it so it
was it was interesting you know Chris
asked would you sound like to shoot this
is my understanding and she said yes but
what I learned in the trial was that
somebody testified that they had taken
all the guns out of their house because
they were scared he was going to shoot
himself and the whole family or
something so I have some I have some
very hard feelings about why would you
tell him that he was good around guns
but protect your own family just tell
him no Chris we’ll take him up for a cup
of coffee there’s a lot of other things
you can do you know you know the
shooting was great for people who love
to do it it’s very relaxing right and
but it’s not good for people who are
obviously not stable so he took him down
there with the best of intentions and
the thing obviously I’ve gone over in my
mind and we experienced enough death in
our life from friends and that I know
there’s no good and doing the what-ifs I
know that but I have I do remember my
last conversation with him and I do
remember he wasn’t happy right when he
was on the phone around that guy and
he’s just a man of his word
right he said he would do it he was
doing it and so where some people might
have said you know it pissing me off
like like they apparently in the trial
we learned they were going to get water
burger and he said he didn’t want
anything but they ordered him a burger
anyway just in case he got hungry later
they’re like well we’ll just get you
something case your honor and apparently
that made him mad right I mean just
stupid thing so I can see why they would
have been like me I don’t know what’s
wrong this guy just watch my six right
you know just like it could have been
even a light-hearted comment about not
one in a burger right but you
and and you know there’s there’s
videotapes after he shot him and took
the truck and you know he went to Taco
Bell and went to get his dog and yeah
that’s not the person that’s not a it’s
not a mentally insane person that’s a
person who says yeah I know what I did
and I’m gonna get out of here before I
get caught right in my opinion but when
when they had the video on him in the
police car it was interesting because
when he knew that that Polly people were
watching he kind of appeared to me to be
playing up something and then not
knowing there was another camera on him
when they would go away you know he’d be
like leaning back in the seat like
whatever bunch of it you know
to me that’s a very calculated thing
that obviously an educated opinion I’m
not a medical professional but I don’t I
I see somebody when I look at him I see
somebody who was indulged entitled got
away with a lot for claiming something
that you know you didn’t have according
to the psychiatrist and amped it up once
too many you know he smoked a lot of
dope and had laced with some things
sometimes probably did it that morning
and did they testing for it or no did
they kind of see no they never really
were conclusive about that right because
the way the law is also that if you take
drugs and you do a crime it doesn’t it’s
no excuse you chose to take the drugs oh
yeah for being yeah yeah so so when you
got to work as a whole story is what is
he shot chat first and then he shot
Chris five times in the back and once in
the back of his head who called you
first like they actually don’t know even
if it was simultaneous like it could
have been both because the sad thing is
Chris had you know an old Western pistol
and he had fired six on one I think six
on another and he still had his hand up
he hadn’t even put his hand down from
shooting from the last bullet coming out
he got him all the way down his body and
and Chad in the back so they were never
able to tell for my understanding if it
was simultaneous or it was one two but
it was both of them were in the middle
of something right and and then he shot
shot chatted a couple of really horrible
times that I even just found out
you didn’t you know he didn’t have to to
finish it the way he did and he did so
yeah that night I was we were we were at
my kids basketball game in the morning
having a blast and a super fun I
competed in like a halftime you know
shooting competition and and then he was
gonna go do his thing and the kids were
having a great day and we stopped in at
the house real quick and with my
daughter and I’d already dropped off my
son and a friends and so we just said I
love you you know he’s going shooting
and Chad was there and everybody’s just
kind of in a hurry but we did what we
always do which is really cool I think
you know we didn’t even end a call
without I love you and we didn’t leave
the by without giving a kiss it just
kind of our thing and we did that and
then they left and I called him to see
if he wanted to do dinner and he said
yep so we’re gonna go out to dinner with
our friends whose birthday it was so
when I had the kids all back and in the
meantime we hadn’t heard from them and I
remember Chad’s wife LeAnn was saying
I’m starting to get really concerned and
I said like I’ve been through this a lot
in my life
you just you assume it’s not them until
you know right it’s not them until it’s
them so we’re gonna assume they up flat
tire or something like that so
eventually as we were getting in the car
to go to dinner and I left Chris a
message saying hey I’m getting a little
worried babe you know cuz it wasn’t like
him not to text or call anyway the
police actually showed up and I was
getting the kids in the car and then
obviously you know I’m okay this is but
I’m not I’m still keeping his clothes
could be and so I said hey what’s up and
he said hey I just need Chris’s license
plate and VIN number and everything for
his truck and I said okay what’s going
on and he said he’s been hurt and I said
okay right and I said give me a minute
and so I called my friend who lived
close by and I said hey come get the
kids for a sleepover I told the kids I
said hey you’re gonna go for a sleepover
change of plans you know and my son said
mom are you sure everything’s okay and
I’ve made a point of never lying to my
kids ever I’ll find a way to say it but
I said I don’t know I’m gonna believe so
right now but I don’t know right
and so he said are you sure he said it
second time and I said honey I don’t
know but I think everything’s okay I
just wanna go have a sleepover have a
good time and you know
and so they left pretty quickly I told a
girl friend of mine across the street
I said hey they said and that was the
first time I cracked I said hey they
said Chris is hurt and then I started
and I said but I don’t want anybody in
the house except do so um or go to
dinner but I just I need to deal with
this on my own
and she said okay so I went in the house
and I got the police the information
they needed I mean my girlfriend was
there and like I swear it was like three
or four minutes to getting the kids and
we had their sleepover bags packed and
and so then we I went in the house and
said I said to my friend you know nobody
else comes in I called my mom and I said
start praying Chris is hurt I told my
other girlfriend that was very close to
I said hey Cruz has been hurt like I
think I think I called her I’m not sure
if I did I know I called my mom and then
and then the phone was going off the
hook and the text and all this stuff and
I just didn’t answer because I military
training-wise you just you don’t know
until you know and people start rumors
and take you down a road that you don’t
have to go down so eventually I think
was Mark Lee’s mom that kept calling and
I finally said I was irritated at the
time I said hey what’s up right and she
said are you okay and I said what and
she said of all have you heard and I
said heard what and she said oh nothing
and I said heard what right and then she
said I and I she said I heard Chris is
dead and I said I haven’t heard that but
I’ll let you know if I do right not at
the phone and I was like I’m still not
getting still I’m gonna go there and so
then there were a few men coming in I
learned later they were pastors but at
that time I was just focused on like
getting through and prayed for him so
they came in and then I at one point my
friend that was with me said hey the
police want to talk to you and so I went
in and and the nuts and they told me and
it was weird I had this feeling kind of
come over me like oh it did happen right
like oh it is it is my turn
cuz you always wonder when your numbers
up kind of thing um and then she was she
told me later she said it’s like you
went into business mode right away and I
think I’ve learned since that that’s my
protection mechanism like that’s too big
so get busy doing what needs to get done
so I had the tears you know rolling down
my face but I was just like okay
who are these people and they’re like
they’re pastors then let’s pray right
and I said I know where he is I just
pray for him anyway
and they did know it was like hey you go
right where’s Chad what’s going on and
and then and then Leon came over well
she was on her way and she had been
downtown with her parents and daughter
and we didn’t know it was Chad right but
we knew there was another body and so we
figured it was Chad but at the time it’s
the same mentality you don’t know until
you know so until it Tim’s not him and
so she called on the way there and I
didn’t want to tell her about Chris but
she said you know she was like damn it
hey you know and I said okay pull over
right and I said okay he’s he’s dead and
um and so I think I called my mom right
away and then she was like obviously on
a flight that’s my mom and my other
friend who just had back surgery like
I’m standing the whole time on the
flight and then Liana got to the house
and I was mostly trying to just take
care of her we were waiting to hear if
it was Chad but there started to be
people coming in the house
and I looked at one of my police officer
friends and I said I said I’m going for
a run
you can come or not or I’m going for a
walk I said you can come or not come but
I need to get out of here because then
it was like there’s only so long you can
put off that feeling and so he’s like oh
then we’ll go with you and about four of
them they’re really good friends with
Chris poured out there in plain clothes
and then I just started running like
sprinting until I realized like I heard
their footsteps a while back and it was
like this is retarded like there’s that
my good friends and they’re trying to
keep up because I’ve got adrenaline and
shock in me and they don’t right so we
just walked until LeAnn found out and
then she left right away with her family
and then Chris’s parents arrived and I
called them too but they already knew I
guess they knew before I did their
officers in their hometown or he told
him and so um you know that was the
beginning of a long long stretch
how much after that was a memorial at
the Cowboys Stadium gosh I want to say
that was within like seven days oh wow
well was I think so and you know um
melanie luttrell marcus luttrell his
wife is she is a Grace and a presence
and a calm about her that I’ve never
seen from anybody else and as soon as
she heard she and Marcus got in the car
and drove up and so she had ugg boots
leggings and like a sweatshirt on right
and she lived in those clothes for
probably three or four days without
showering without changing her clothes
never said a word and she went into
Cowboy Stadium to talk with the
executives and they’re like beautiful
outfits you know and she’s still like
just punching it out until finally one
day she went to Target and like you know
got stuff to Tainted to some of his SEAL
friends and other friends got together
and man they just made that procession
happen and the Cowboys Stadium happen
and we knew we needed a big place and we
wanted something that represented him it
was helpful for me because and then the
last time I saw his body I didn’t know
if I could walk away and I was like well
we’re here like I’m just gonna be happy
for him I’m gonna know his soul is here
and like just treat it like baby can you
believe we pulled this off you know and
just that was the only thing I could do
to walk out is like just think okay he’s
not there he’s here and I’m gonna have
to look at something that would be
pleasing to or bring a smile to my face
about his feelings right now you know
your grace is unbelievable truly I mean
and it’s very much felt every time you
speak about Kris every time I was
listening to your speech you gave
powerful on how you started and you know
who Chad was in your life you know the
role chat play wherever he wanted to go
Chad would just go and they would hang
out together they were like best buddies
and Chad’s play very important roles and
a person like Chris’s life a very
important role Chris’s life yeah so you
know I appreciate you sharing that with
me because I know I was a I wouldn’t
want to have to explain myself over and
over and over again we let him relive in
the entire story over and over again but
Patrick I never do that yeah this might
be the first time on camera that I’ve
gone through the whole thing yeah you’re
very comfortable to talk with and so
that’s the right time and you’re good at
what you do I am very curious with your
story it’s a lot of respect because the
deeper I got the more interested I got
with the whole thing you know
the one question I would have with you
that is something that I think about you
said something you said you know it’s
not good to do the if I had to do it all
over again
I’m not doing that if I had to do all
over again the only thing I think about
is I was in the military I have guns I
have you know I have a lot of things I’m
all about it
but do you think somebody like the
shooter like do you think any of that
with a personality like that could have
been prevented meaning you know you know
how you hear the debate right now with
whether it’s NRA program pro this Pro
that with a little bit more background
check on medicine that some people are
taking or medication they’re on do you
think we need a little bit of luck
because because my idea was I was having
this conversation with a few different
people who are pro-gun and anti gun and
I’m trying to get both sides of it and
I’m not trying to take a hundred percent
position for me I think they need to be
trained do you think medicine is
something we should test for like if
you’re on Zoloft or prozac you probably
don’t need to buy a gun what do you
think about it yourself having gone
through it personally yourself yeah so I
don’t think that’s fair because I think
there are people with a lot of people I
know and myself included where I’ve
taken antidepressants and they’ve been
really good because there’s a legitimate
chemical imbalance if you’re in fight or
flight too long and and yet you’re
completely responsible wouldn’t hurt a
soul right so I don’t know that that’s
the answer but I do know what you’re
saying about how do we how do we find an
indicator for this right and and I like
you talked to people on both sides of it
I am curious I’m not staunch on one way
or the other
but I do think that there may be a part
is that we have to accept evil as evil
and there may be a part that we have to
say somebody who would do horrific
things they’re not going to be easily
identifiable as much as we want them to
be because most people are not like that
most people would not be able to pull
the trigger on another human being for
their own you know because they didn’t
feel good right like that’s we drive
cars and so you know everybody’s had
road rage probably at one point or
another did you have a desire to kill
that person you know what I’m saying
like you could have driven your car into
them people don’t do that once in a
while they do but you the indicator for
evil is what we’re looking for and I
don’t think it’s in depression I you
know I don’t know about drug use right I
might be a bit but this guy then they
had been picked up by the police that
picked up like pulled over for something
and he would say I have PTSD so they
would take him to the mental institution
the mental mental institution would
release
was something other than psychosis
meaning that’s usually code for kind of
like drugs right like we’re not fighting
anything truly mentally physically but
they can’t tell the police because I
HIPAA laws so there’s no communication
between the police and the mental health
agency he also held his girlfriend with
a samurai sword against her neck off of
the wall like a decorative sword against
the wall like a week before he did this
to Chris but she didn’t want to press
charges right because she said he was
protecting her from the outside or
whatever and police can’t write any
record of that right because there’s no
charges so in some ways we’re doing
really really well I’m a very private
person in a lot of ways and so I like
privacy laws but in some ways you know
we’re also doing ourselves a disservice
because you know if Chris would have
known some of these things the lesson we
learned and what I tell people is you’ve
got to be able to talk to a couple of
people they served with probably before
you decide to like take them under your
wing I’m not talking about a cup of
coffee they’ll have a cup of coffee that
anybody want right but he had such
positive experiences hunting and
shooting with veterans and and
organizations who do that that I don’t
think it occurred to him that there
would be and especially when the guy’s
mom comes to you with tears in her eyes
like how are you not gonna help a guy
right and his mom is she’s culpable in
this but she didn’t give Chris all the
information and she should have so and
some people have suggested there’s a
case against her I don’t have any desire
to do that right it doesn’t change
anything and it’s not but the point is a
we have to call it what it is right we
have to not be afraid of it we have to
look at people who say they have PTSD
and use our own judgment right I’m not
saying you dread if they do or they
don’t
but PTSD isn’t this is important to me
that people know this it doesn’t make
you a killer right it does not and B it
is something that you can live through
work through and change and people seem
to think that these veterans have PTSD
it’s the rest of their life get a
paycheck and for know there there are
rape victims with PTSD there are child
abuse victims with PTSD I mean I’ve got
friends who are counselors kids that are
sexually abused and threatened they’re
they’re going their life is gonna be
ended so their life is at risk every
single day in this home and they’re
raped and abused and guess what
help me nobody says you’re off for the
rest of your life they go to college
they get a degree they work right they
go to counselor they get their crap
I mean it’s it that’s a huge mountain to
have on you especially for a kid it’s
it’s doable but you have to invest in it
so we have to get people to a state
where they’re seeing ptsds yes I have a
lot of stress from trauma and it is
changing my reaction to things and my
sleep patterns but I need to find my own
I need to find help or find somebody who
will walk that walk with me to get the
help I need yeah you know the reason why
I asked you from someone like you is
because you you have more insight
because after something like that
happens to you you’re probably gonna go
into research mode wanted to study
you’re probably approached by a lot of
different people they’re bringing up
questions topics all this other stuff so
I was just curious to know what you
thought about it because you know
sometimes how do you how do you measure
a guy like that like how do you sit
there and say no yes is there a
measuring mechanism is it medication is
it arrest report is it what is it to be
able to filter out and say I just don’t
think there’s a person that needs to be
allowed into such-and-such a location or
a gun range or a gun shop or whatever it
is I think you have to use your
intuition right so here’s the thing
Chris obviously had some intuition on
this and so did Chad they knew something
they’re gonna text it each other right
right and then I know his voice on the
phone but he was not happy with this guy
but it didn’t really occur to him right
that he would do that and so what I
think we have to be aware of is that we
don’t know like not all veterans are
heroes we have to be honest about that
there are guys who are bad guys just
like there are dentists who do rape
their patients when they’re under you
know gases and stuff it’s we have to be
honest with ourselves evil exists and we
have to trust our gut more and Chris is
is his philosophy was that intuition
aside he gave his word did you say don’t
worked on intuition intuition aside he
gave his word he didn’t want to go that
day and you know there there probably I
think a lot of Holy Spirit and divine
promptings that we ignore and I think we
need a key into those and go if I don’t
want to go why do I not want to go to I
have a bad feeling or you know and be
honest about that and then if you picked
the guy up and he’s he’s not acting
right you know you yes you want to help
everybody but maybe this is the time
where you going to take a timeout right
this doesn’t feel right I’m gonna I’m
gonna follow up on him a little bit more
I mean I think you know I don’t know how
he would
because there didn’t seem to be a police
report anywhere but I do recommend that
people do that I don’t at all put it on
anything with Chris I’m Chris could have
done because there’s let’s be fair if
something’s off with somebody don’t do
it like to educate you’re saying yeah
and obviously the full disclosure from
other side not everything came out
have you ever confronted her have you
ever had a conversation with her or
never you know it’s interesting she
confronted us I wanted to talk to us in
the courtroom when her son pleaded not
guilty and said it’s just as hard for me
as it is for you and we were like what
your son is sitting right you know you
just saw and talked to her all that
aside I don’t have anything that I need
from them and I don’t have anything to
give them just curious curious enough
that in the very beginning the very
beginning I said oh I feel so bad for
that mother right I didn’t know I said
please tell the people who knew her
please tell her I don’t I don’t hold her
responsible that’s changed when I got
more information and I think that
nobody’s responsible but the person that
pulls the trigger he’s ultimately
responsible he’s paying the price and I
really still my faith you know I believe
that I believe that he can go to heaven
just like everybody else if he believes
in if it’s hard I mean but it’s not mine
I don’t need to minister to him I don’t
need to save him I don’t need to talk to
her you know I mean you’ve forgiven
obviously I don’t I don’t sense a single
ounce of bitterness in you yeah I don’t
know if I’m totally I don’t know I the
forgiveness where it’s hard for that I
just choose not to carry it for him got
it yeah got it so so the part you said
part of his intuition but do you think
there’s any role that the government
plays in it to deal with the shooter
like is there anything that law wise can
change for it to control like additional
testing or background or not really I I
wish there was I personally don’t think
there is because I don’t think I don’t
think that we can find evil in heart I
don’t think you can find it I think it
changes in time I think different things
provoke people as far as what the
government could do I mean the guy got
in some trouble in school right so we
could say well if they’ve gotten in
trouble but here’s the other side of
this one of my good friends is a
ridiculously successful businessman and
he was in so much trouble he dropped out
of school and then he got in trouble
with the law and the judge said you get
the choice right military or jail and he
chose military and look at him now
right so that’s what I’m saying I just I
think if you make a law got it so you
you are from the standpoint of you don’t
think there’s anything we can do that
could prevent a shooter like this
especially from the law side government
side state side to prevent this from
happening okay I do have one thing that
I have one idea on but I’m not sure so
rooting out even when a person’s heart I
don’t think we can do right using our
intuition is important people have
feelings a lot of times when somebody’s
off and we have to respect that and
listen to it and we can’t listen to
everybody that says it right there’s no
blanket statement we can do the school
shootings and the things that are
happening like that when somebody gets a
lot of attention and then we start
talking about what was their background
like what was their deal what would
right they’re getting a lot of attention
for it they don’t want to kill
themselves they don’t even hurt
themselves they just want to take it out
on everybody else and have everybody
else look at their pain so why are we
giving them a voice the thing is if you
shoot up a school
you’re erased you go to jail we do your
trial you don’t exist no care website no
marketing no media to know because you
know what they didn’t want to hurt
themselves they wanted hurt everybody
else so that we would look at their pain
and I don’t think that that’s I think
that exacerbates the problem now you got
copycats there was a day where it
wouldn’t even cross someone’s mind to do
that it’s tough tough today because
freedom of press you know they need
stories to tell right and any of that
stuff the moment it happens every
channel is showing for six hours all day
and they’re getting all this attention
it’s another form for somebody else to
get that kind of attention how many
times you’ve seen people do this just to
get the attention right a lot of times
and it’s not gonna write like that
solution probably isn’t gonna work
because yeah cuz you have to accept the
reality of the world we live in and
that’s kind of what you’re saying like
when I say this you go this is the
reality and I find everybody who wants
it to stop we’re all on the same page we
all want it to stop you’re from Texas
you grew up in Texas no I grew up in
Oregon
oh you grew up in Oregon that’s a said
Oregon and San Diego did you say
California something Californian but
your mother is from Southern California
father some Oregon yeah okay so you’ve
never lived in Southern California I did
when I met crest yeah I lived in Long
Beach and then we lived in San Diego
Long Beach Wow out of all the places I
know very familiar with I’ll be sleeping
yes LBC snoopin I you know
I can i well the way i had to remember
taya has to do a little bit with snoopeh
that’s an inside joke yeah yeah because
he truly is one just so you know yeah
yeah so you know transitioning this one
question was brought up from the
audience that wanted to know a little
bit on the closing of this what ended up
happening with Jesse Ventura what was
the ending with that because there was
so much he came out because in the book
he doesn’t really say cause him scruffy
face or something like that right
there’s a show called Opie and Anthony
and another seal called in and was like
ask him it was this guy and then when
they asked him Chris wasn’t prepared for
that and like I said he’s an honest guy
right so he says yeah there’s someone on
the line saying that you had you were in
a bar fight with Jesse Flores that’s
true I appreciate it but we have an
awake and then he said that what
happened on eclis Chris was the one
thing we’re not gonna name his name and
I was like name his name everybody knows
it happened I mean it was forever ago
before Christmas the idea of Chris even
being in a book right and it was
everybody was there I mean we had 11
witnesses to testify it just it was just
one of those perfect storm things and we
ended up we won the appeals and so you
know there was no money paid out never
because it says December 17 there was an
undisclosed payment some like but
nothing was paid out everything
finalized yeah it got a lot of attention
it was so interesting see it was and you
know what it really taught me you know
we talk about grace there’s so much that
I wanted to say before the murder trial
right and stop saying this guy has PTSD
and and that that case oh my gosh if I
could there was so much I wanted to say
right and and in retrospect I still
could but I think it’s one of those
things again why you look back and you
go in wrestling the bad guy gets
attention to I don’t know that I don’t
know that it’s so much about good guy
bad guys it is attention fair enough
yeah you know I was just curious you
know that
the stories were like this is what
happened here’s what he said this here’s
what he said this and then I think some
of the seals got involved and it finally
was like let’s just one point eight five
one point eight million one point three
five and nothing happens
eighth circuit comes out and he was on
Rogan who was on a bunch of different
places talked about so let’s let’s wrap
up with this book so one American sniper
obviously best-selling book it sold
millions of copies the movie became a
best said it’s it’s changed many
people’s lives in many ways source of
inspiration all these other things then
you wrote the book American wife did
amazing unbelievable results people
loved it you impacted so many people’s
lives with that and now you have your
newest book coming out American spirit
can you tell talk a little bit about the
book and what inspired you want to write
this book yeah so when I was out on the
road and I’d be talking to people and I
was in deep grief and I mean it’s funny
I don’t even remember a lot of the
places I went for speaking engagements
right I was just doing and going through
through that part of my life and grief
and these people would tell me
incredible stories and things that were
happening that were such good news and I
thought why are why are we not talking
about this because for me that was
healing to know that there are a lot of
good things happening in this world
there are a lot of people who are not
what you see in the media they’re not
the left extreme or the right extreme
they’re just they’re just these people
who are doing good things and not not
spewing their political thoughts they’re
just doing good things in the world or
taking care of their neighbor and so I
talked to Jim about it Jim DeFelice who
wrote American sniper American wife
wound and he was like no I think that
really is good so what we did is we took
a collection of the stories and we did
something that we tried to pull from
different age groups from young to older
different areas of life things that you
would never think of that are bringing
good because people need I think to look
at pain as yes horrible grieve it feel
it but what can you do to shine light in
that darkness right what can you do to
have purpose in pain because I person
don’t believe it’s anything God wants
for it I don’t think it’s God designed
but I do think that he will bring us
through it and I do think that whether
people have faith or not and these it’s
not all people of faith in there but
they’re they’re doing something good
with it and sometimes it was because it
happened to them and sometimes it was
because it was somebody they saw and and
a lot of them fascinate me because they
started with a spark
right they didn’t they didn’t set out to
do something big they set out to do
something and and their spark lit a
movement and to me that’s that’s
powerful stuff I tend to think oh I do
something unless I can be big and it
reminds me that some of the most
powerful things in life are the smaller
things right like raising your kids
you’ll probably affect millions of
people through the way that you raised
them and the lives they touch and so
forth and and the goodness that we can
all do is pretty incredible to me it’s
American spirit because it’s it’s our
freedom we have freedom to do these
things and to share ideas and to correct
wrongs in the world and we’re most
charitable nation in the world so let’s
celebrate that part of the American
spirit instead of you know people hating
the country whatever let’s look at the
spirit of who we are there’s the the
pioneer is in the beginning right they
went through great things your family
went through great suffering to get
where you got to you they did it I think
if you ask your parents for the next
generation right got about it right and
that’s what we’re talking about here
that spirit is still alive here we have
opportunity you talk about entrepreneurs
all the time that is what this is you
you are an entrepreneur and you have
that spirit because there’s something in
the world you know you can do right and
you know you can bring something brings
them into the world and that’s that’s
the American spirit we have the
opportunity to do it we do it for the
next generation and we do it in a
variety of different ways and it’s in
the kids too like whenever he goes all
we’re screwed the next generations are
gonna mess it all up I mean people have
been saying that forever right forever
but there’s really good young kids doing
awesome you mind sharing one of them
just share wondrous stories yeah okay so
one of them since we were talking about
you know PTSD and suffering like that
there was a guy named Micah Fink and he
had his own suffering and he had his own
journey and he found his way through it
and he’s got this really cool program
heroes and horses where they train wild
mustangs right up in the mountains and
he tells people this ain’t a vacation
right but if you have a problem and you
want to come come out like get real with
nature and beast and man and you have to
be in touch with the beasts emotions as
much as you do your emotions and you
have to get real right there’s no faking
it and it hard works yeah
there’s everything from that there’s
like homeless organizations who don’t
just give help to homes they change
their life they’re in there for two
years
and they have an amazing attrition rate
so it’s like for like 90% of the people
to go out into the world and never be
homeless again is unheard of but they’re
doing it and they’re doing it because
they cared enough to do things
differently you know I had a friend of
mine many years ago who would say you
know we we don’t need CNN we need GNN I
said what do you mean by gian I said we
need good news network yeah and some
good news we don’t have a lot of good
news we have a lot of bad news it’s all
about what happened who got killed who
did this who did that we need some good
news so and people feed off of that
oh no hateful to each other because
we’re feeding I agree with you I think
there’s a spirit of division I don’t I
think we actually have more in common
than people makes it out to be I sit
down and talk to somebody that we may
have opposing views but there’s 90% of
stuff we agree yes there’s just a 10%
where we made how you accomplish it my
friend the goal is usually the same you
know the only challenge you have with
you this intact and we sat together is
your map span I’m a Lakers fan I think
they’re steel fists the only thing aside
from that what an incredible story
honestly I mean a part of what you’re
saying is God puts tough things in your
life and I think he also chooses the
right people yeah I don’t know if
anybody else could have been Chris’s
wife but you I think that was chosen I
think there was a big plan behind that
and we are through your life experience
learning so much about ourselves and
certain challenges that we may be
dealing with as human beings that’s
private to us that we can sit there and
say I can pick up from those seven
things that he had to go through and she
had to go through oh my gosh I’m gonna
figure out how to get better in these
three years in my life so I have so much
respect for you sharing your testimony
truly and so how can people get a hold
are you more active on Instagram or
Twitter Instagram Instagram okay so we
got to put our handle right here
watching this I suggest you reach out to
a follower an Instagram message her on
what you took away from the interview I
want to hear from you as well comment on
what you took away we’re gonna put the
link both to American spirit and
American wife below for you to go out
and follow that and if you have any
interest in the one plug she gave for
wild mustangs
we’ll get the link we’ll put that also
below for your friend if you want to
find out what it’s like to go hang out
with wild mustangs we’ll put some
description for that as well with that
being said thank you so much for being a
guest invite them and truly thank you
thank you you
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