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What They Really Mean: Euphemistic Feedback


Emily: That’s an interesting idea.
Claire: Sound great, doesn’t it?
An interesting idea?
But did she really mean it?
Emily: You had an idea for our traffic app?
Mark: Yes. Well, you know how it tells you
about slow traffic?
Emily: Yes.
Mark: Well, I thought
we could show how noisy the traffic is.
Emily: That’s an interesting idea.
Mark: We can get new clients
who want a quiet journey.
Emily: It’s certainly a different approach.
Mark: I’ve put these graphs in
for the different amounts of noise.
Emily: I can see that you’ve
been thinking about this.
Mark: Yeah.
Claire: Why are you so happy?
Mark: Oh, it’s Emily, she loves my ideas!
I’m so happy.
Claire: I wouldn’t be so sure.
Mark: What do you mean?
Claire: Well, people often use euphemisms
to avoid direct criticism
and to sound polite
words like ‘interesting’ and ‘different’
mean that people can react
without saying anything directly negative.
Mark: So it didn’t mean that
she really liked the ideas?
Claire: I’m afraid not.
Mark: How can you tell when someone is doing this?
Claire: Ok, people often use adjectives
that could be positive
but aren’t always
like
‘interesting’ or ‘different’.
Also, people might use phrases to recognise effort
rather than achievement,
such as “You have really thought about this”
and
“You have worked a lot on this”.
Pay attention to tone and body language as well.
Are they saying
“Well, I can see you’ve been working on that”
or are they saying
“Well, I can see you’ve been working on that”?
You can see more examples of this kind of feedback
at the end of the programme.
Mark: I wonder what it would look like
if she had really liked the ideas.
Emily: You had an idea for our traffic app?
Mark: Yes. Well, you know how it tells you
about slow traffic?
Emily: Yes.
Mark: Well, I thought we could show
how noisy the traffic is.
Emily: Wow, that is an interesting idea.
I really like it!
Mark: We could get new clients
who want a quiet journey.
Emily: That is a really different approach,
it’s brilliant!
Mark: I’ve put these graphs in to show
the different amounts of noise.
Emily: I can see that you’ve been thinking about it
and I really like it!
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