this is the bag that you were given a
woman a man black white Indian Asian the
religion you were born into the economic
status should grew up under all of those
things are boxes that someone else said
let’s drop you in it and then you have
to choose if you’re gonna stay in it
women don’t tend to see themselves as
ready for the next role as as they ought
to they doubt themselves the people that
do it to have the 15 minutes of fame and
to be able to buy that mansion
what’s that belief nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe you have an amazing gift
inside you that I want to see exploded
onto the world now this is part of my
new girl boss series I am obviously not
a girl but I do believe that you can
shine a light of support on one
community without putting another
community down so my aim with this
series is to shine a light of excellence
on women entrepreneurs and maybe inspire
a few more girls to believe in
themselves as well enjoy all right let’s
kick things off with rule number one
don’t live under the label with Lisa
Nichols we so often we wear labels
there’s a label that’s to me there’s
several labels I’m an african-american
woman I’m a single mom you know I’m a
CEO I’m a daughter there’s so many
labels to me but I don’t live under the
label I allow the label to exist but it
doesn’t define me and so I invite you if
you are a woman you know there’s so many
men watching my channel I love you I
want you to always come you’re always
welcome this is your home but to my
sisters I invite you don’t feel like
life is harder for you because you’re a
woman don’t feel like you have to work
harder because you’re a woman
work hard just work hard I never looked
at am i working harder as a woman and my
working harder as a black person now are
there inequities absolutely I am NOT
to that but like I said in the previous
episode energy grows or energy goes am I
gonna give the inequities energy or am I
gonna give the possibility energy and
I’m not saying that everything’s
hunky-dory and all things are right no
there’s some wrongs that really need to
be corrected but here’s what I won’t do
I won’t wear a label and walk in a room
living under that label wondering how
you’re going to treat me because of that
label people used to ask Lisa how did
you get on the main stage with people
like Tony Robbins and and Jack Canfield
and people like you know they rattle off
all these older white men are very
successful white speakers in the
industry and they say how’d you get on
stage with them as a black woman or how
did you get on stage with them as a
woman and I go I didn’t get on stage
with them as a woman I got on stage with
them as a badass speaker I got on stage
with them as someone who can bring value
to the audience I got on stage with them
because I’m a change agent
so can you live through the results that
you produce in the world can you allow
that to define you like this is the bag
that you were given a woman a man black
white Indian Asian the religion you were
born into the economic status should
grew up under all of those things are
boxes that someone else said let’s drop
you in it and then you have to choose if
you’re gonna stay in it I am too big to
be defined by a box any box any label of
any size why don’t you join that so
don’t be successful as a woman be
successful don’t be successful as a man
successful don’t be loving and giving as
a black person or white person or asian
person be loving and giving just be and
then be become contagious for someone
else to want to be that way because they
crossed your path rule number two is
don’t doubt yourself with Melinda Gates
when a job opens up and you say hey
there’s this next job upping a woman
won’t necessarily put her hat in the
ring for that next rung up and you’ll
have ten minutes say whether they’re
qualified or not I’m ready for it
women don’t tend to see themselves as
ready for the next role as as they ought
to they doubt themselves whatever it is
about self confidence that’s something I
think week you can absolutely work on in
an organization and I think it’s up to
the managers men or women to reach down
and pull those women up and say no you
are ready for that promotion or you’re
at least as qualified as the other men
put your name and they have whether you
get the job or not it would be great
experience for you to go for it and try
it for me it’s all about making sure we
lift up women and girls because I feel
like we have a chance to do that we’re
talking about it as a world there’s a
lot of conversation about it we’re
moving the right direction but we need
concrete action rule number three share
your ideas with the world with Mel
Robbins I’ve been in the media business
for ten years when I tell you that
things have changed 1,000% let me just
give you an example my first media deal
I was signed by ABC that’s right ABC the
big dog crazy syndicated shows I was
signed by them to do a talk-show deal
now do you know what that meant there
was some executive that was looking out
over the sea of talent they were meeting
with agents they were picking people
they were doubting you and then guess
what if they did pick you they owned
everything they told you what to do
Oprah’s uh Nenana Lee the game was
gatekeepers a few media players a sea of
competition total scarcity now what is
it today holy it’s unbelievable
if you have an iphone you can have a
show if you have an idea and you’re
willing to put it out there and you’re
willing to start sharing yourself on
social media you have a syndication
platform there is no one doubting you
except for you and that’s why I’m
sitting here imploring you I’m telling
you right now if you have a business if
you have aspirations if you have a dream
the single biggest opportunity in front
of you is to being put it out on social
media to start talking about the things
that interest you to start sharing your
ideas sharing and documenting what
you’re up to I guarantee you you start
doing that and you’re gonna start
amassing an audience that you had no
idea was out there dying to connect with
you to learn from you and to grow with
you rule number four love what you do
with Mila Kunis there’s so many talented
people that don’t get a break and
there’s no rhyme or reason behind it but
they do it and they hustle and they love
it and that’s the people that ultimately
make it the people that do it to have
the 15 minutes of fame and to be able to
buy that mansion ultimately burn out and
so I think study your craft hey I hate
saying this but make sure you have other
things that you enjoy doing make sure
what you do does not define who you are
because it’s industry still fascicle and
so because of that I think I started a
production company in order to have a
job where there is a job where there is
a sort of a a a level of confidence that
I’ll be able to permit goes tomorrow but
I don’t get necessarily from that thing
rule number five be yourself with Whoopi
Goldberg well my life is a class if I
was to say it probably teaches that you
can be yourself in an individual if you
are comfortable with not everybody
liking you or how you think if you’re
comfortable with going against the grain
if you’re comfortable with you know
people making fun or saying really nasty
stuff if you’re comfortable with all
that and you can be yourself
it’s that surprise the price of being
yourself is you know other people’s
angst about you being yourself
look at me this was not anyone’s idea of
what a movie star looked like ever you
know and and
after happened you know I would read
that in the paper all the time
what’s with the face what’s with the
hair why does she look like this why did
she wear high heels when she dressed
like a guy is she gay is straight what
the hell you know for years and years
and years you know because I you know I
guess she was supposed to be a little
more glamorous and I’m just Glamour’s a
lot of work I’m fundamentally lazy you
know III have dreads because I didn’t
want to comb my hair you know and had
nothing to do with Rastas ever he was
like oh you said I’m not deep I’m this
deep I’m busy I wore sneakers because it
was most comfortable for me you know and
who wants to stand and I use for three
or four hours you know when you could be
wearing sneakers under that dress so
that’s what I did rule number six know
your worth with a young Levin Zayn
your real self knows the truth no matter
what mask or what face you wear in the
world your real self knows to chew and
there was a time in my life when I acted
like I knew a truth that I didn’t know
and the truth I didn’t know was the
depth of my value and my worth you see I
had already been an author that had sold
over six million books fourteen
different titles I had already been on
my own television show I had traveled
around the world I had spoken to
hundreds of thousands of people and
still I did not know or value my own
worth so and a very big opportunity to
go forward and to beyond what was once
called the Oprah Winfrey Show yes and I
went on The Oprah Winfrey Show and miss
Winfrey asked me back again and again
and again and eventually I became part
of her changed your life
faculty and it was all good I had
written 13 books I had traveled all over
the country I had done her show
repeatedly but I didn’t know my own
sense of worth so what happened I tried
to live in a place that I didn’t believe
was true for me
and eventually I crashed and burned
crashed and burned by leaving The Oprah
Winfrey Show and going on to another
Network and doing another show that
didn’t even survive a season all because
I didn’t know my work now it would have
looked like all sorts of external
circumstances oh there was a
miscommunication between me and Miss
Winfrey and the other network was
offering me a lot of money and why
shouldn’t I take a big business deal no
it was about me not knowing my own words
me not being able to stand in the
miracle of being on The Oprah Winfrey
Show repeatedly among honored teachers
without having to work hard for it
because that was what I had been taught
the matter with me was that I didn’t
know how to receive a gift of blessing
without working hard for it so when
things came to me easily I blew him up
it’s self sabotage your procrastination
or forgetting or whatever it is that
opportunity went away because I didn’t
know my worth that’s the kind of truth
we have to tell each other we have to be
aware of it we have to acknowledge it
and we have to accept it
rule number seven overcome fear with
Margot Robbie I feel like when you
undertake any big task you kind of have
this crisis of faith in yourself and
you’re like I can’t do it it’s a I
couldn’t like I just can’t so I had that
and and for you know for a brief moment
I was like I guess I’m not gonna do the
role I I can’t do nudity and I can’t I
would never be good enough for this
anyway and and then you know the thought
occurred to me oh I guess who’s gonna
play it then and then that just
infuriated me the thought of someone
else playing my role I was like well
they couldn’t possibly do the role no I
have to do it because no one else could
possibly do the role so so yes now I had
my moment of my crisis of faith and rule
number eight the last one before a very
special bonus clip is work hard with
Nina Dobrev
it’s couldn’t afford to put me in a lot
of like dance classes and things like
that but we would throw me into like the
community ones and it created this the
free ones
yeah the free ones yeah and then
eventually when I started acting or it
it started with modeling and then I turn
into acting they didn’t approve of it
they didn’t have the money to support it
so with my jobs I would pay for the
headshots and I would go take classes
and take four different buses and a
subway to get downtown from the suburbs
in Toronto where I loved to get to the
class I get a hat I wanted it and if
like if I didn’t actually put in the
work for it I wouldn’t have gotten to
where I am and and I really had to be
from within
[Music]
now I’ve got a very special bonus clip
with simon Sinek
around how women make great leaders but
before that I want to get your thoughts
this is still a new series for us I’m
still looking at how to make it better
make improvements including different
people on this series I would love to
know from you how could make this series
better what were your thoughts in this
video please please please
share your thoughts down the comments
below I’m paying attention thank you
guys so much for watching I believe in
you I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one where it
is much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
we’re gonna become more leaders
conscious yeah then when I was a kid
yeah I don’t think it’s that we need
more female leaders it’s that we need
more leaders who act like females and
women just happen to be better at that
for too long we’ve we’ve focused our
attention but we force leave that all of
leadership is about aggression and
decisiveness which are traditionally
male attributes
whereas true leadership also includes
things like empathy patience caring
which are traditionally female
characteristics so you need a balance of
both the great leaders have have both
it’s not one or the other but I think
the the great thing is that is we live
in a day in an age where women don’t
have to pretend to be like men anymore
they can they can be feminine and be the
leaders and I love that raise your
standard Apple at the core its core
value is that that people need passion
and not one drop of most self-worth
depends on your it’s supposed to mean I
don’t ever give up I’d have to be dead
or completely incapacitated hey believe
nation if you want to see my all-time
favorite top 10 most of success I have a
very special secret video for you these
are the individual clips that I have
personally learned the most from and
applied to my life and my business check the link in description for details