when I was a college student many moons
ago in Davidson North Carolina
my Resident Advisor Rob came to me and
he said Steve did I ever tell you about
the great summer job that I had said no
he said it was really wonderful I got to
work in marketing for this great
publishing company in fact it paid
really well and the guy who hired me is
coming to campus and he’s going to be
interviewing students and I really want
to invite you to to hear about this
maybe you can get a job I was really
flattered and because of my respect for
Rob I went to the interview it was
marketing it was publishing all right it
was selling books door-to-door now I
took a look at that and I did what any
reasonable college student would do I
signed up ah I signed up I signed up to
sell children’s books 80 hours a week
straight commissioned my dad and my mom
they freaked out you know my dad was a
corporate attorney and he just he knew
that look I had never sold anything I
didn’t have a charismatic bone in my
body I was just a nice kid who liked to
eat pop-tarts
but flash-forward the big day arrives
742 a.m. I’m in Rob’s car we’re driving
out to the neighborhood to begin
knocking doors my heart is racing I’ve
got a gigantic lump in my throat I
remember looking down at my khaki shorts
and my knees are literally shaking and
he’s like Steve any last minute stuff I
can do for you I’m like yeah don’t let
me out of this car next thing I know I’m
standing on a sidewalk in the suburb of
Lincoln Nebraska
I just see house after house door after
door I remember staring at the first
door waiting for the right psychological
moment to knock now before I tell you
what happened I have a question for you
whose door should you be knocking on who
do you want to say yes to you because I
tell you you know one thing I’ve seen is
that we’re all in sales so to speak we
all have something to sell it may be
that you have a business where you want
to convince people to buy your product
or service maybe you work with a
nonprofit organization and you need to
convince people to donate their time and
money or maybe you’re a parent trying to
convince your kids to do their homework
good luck with that
but who is it who’s door should you be
knocking on who is it that you want to
say yes to you is it a friend is it a
business associate is it your boss is it
a possible date for Friday night who is
it now when I because at the end of this
talk I’m actually going to invite you
I’m gonna challenge you to reach out to
somebody now the idea of reaching out to
somebody how many of you find that idea
just a little bit scary yeah you know
and I was terrified I mean here I was
back on the doorstep here Lincoln
Nebraska I’m about to knock on this door
and I remember something that robbed my
friend who got me into this she said to
me he said Steve don’t try to sell
anybody you just focus on loving and
serving them and you focus on leaving
them a little happier than when you came
that got me going and that got me
knocking people were friendly enough but
nobody let me in I mean I was really bad
and some people weren’t friendly at all
I mean one lady comes the door she won’t
even open the door
she’s just frowning at me through the
glass she’s like look you know I’m not
interested you know just show me what
you got
I grabbed these five children’s books
out of my satchel and I just completely
terrified I totally blanked and I’m
didn’t know what to do and I thought
well let me at least try to love and
serve her and leave her with a smile so
all of a sudden my creativity kicked in
I start actually you know reading little
excerpts of the stories I I found voices
for animal voices in me that I didn’t
even knew I had she’s not smiling young
man may I ask you a question yes
will you take a MasterCard or do I have
to write you a check
MasterCard cheque I take discover that’s
how I made my first sale and I survived
that summer and in fact because of
things I learned along the way I
actually finished that summer as one of
the top first-year salespeople and then
I actually went into business with my
brother where we teach irony of ironies
people we teach them how to market their
books their products and their services
and my dad couldn’t be prouder here’s
what I’ve learned
everyone has doors that if you knock on
those doors they open they can bring
incredible blessings but most of us
never knock because we’re scared those
doors could bring you sales they could
bring you funding they could bring you
advice they could bring you connections
they could bring you publicity but you
don’t knock on them and you know why I’m
convinced it’s because we have a giant
misconception of what it means to sell
to sell is a dirty word people think
it’s manipulative or something like that
I have redefined what it is to sell I
want to give you my definition I created
a little acronym now I don’t really like
acronyms but I I created this because I
think it’s really helpful to sell s e L
L sincerely encourage by listening
and loving sincerely encouraged by
listening and loving makes all the
difference you know s is first sincerely
when I think of sincere I think of
Elaine she’s one of the sweetest most
sincere people I know she came to me and
she said Steve I I’m a psychologist I
have this program that that really I
know will help children I mean love for
children just radiates from her and the
thing is though Steve the schools aren’t
interested nobody’s paying me I guess
I’m just not much of a salesperson I
said Elaine you have what what it really
takes to sell you one of the most
important assets your sincerity just
need a little bit of training so I
taught her how to have the conversation
with people how to reach out she calls
on the principal of a local school and
when she calls on that principal
principal says look I’ve got so much
going on right now my calendar is just
jammed the old Elaine would have just
turned around and walked away rejected
the new Elaine Elaine version 2.0 took a
breath and just really experienced that
principals stress and she just said wow
I could see I could understand you
really do have a lot going on since your
calendars jammed now why don’t we just
take a look and see when you might have
time to talk for a few minutes because I
know your kids would really love this
she got the appointment she met with
Elaine that to hit it off and as a
result of that Elaine is now doing a
pilot program at that school in fact
she’s learned how to communicate her
value so sincerely that she is speaking
at conferences for teachers she’s
training teachers internationally and
she’s getting paid for it
but it wouldn’t have happened if she
hadn’t owned the sincerely part of her e
is for encouragement encourage people to
take action sometimes were hesitant to
knock on a door because we’re worried
about getting turned down do you know
there are people that might just be
waiting for
you two knock on their door
Careerbuilder did a survey 76% of people
who are in a full-time job they’re
looking for another job or at least
they’re open to another opportunity you
could encourage them to take that action
somebody who who opened up an
opportunity for me was my high school
science teacher this guy was really shy
a real introvert and you know I have to
tell you he really was very boring as a
teacher okay sorry mr. Bush if you’re
watching you know but but mr. Bush saw
me in the hallway and he said Steve can
I talk to you for a minute
oh yeah okay we go into his classroom he
says Steve have you ever thought about
wrestling no I’m 91 pounds that’s why I
run winner track well Steve I’m the
wrestling coach and I saw you goofing
around in the gym and you’re really
talented I I really think that you could
do well with wrestling you can wrestle
in your weight class I mean you’re a
stud let me tell you something when
you’re in ninth grade and you weigh 91
pounds and somebody calls you a stud you
are encouraged to take action I didn’t
run when a track I wrestled that winner
and I had great memories I thought that
he was a mild-mannered health teacher
turns out mr. bush was a salesperson in
disguise sincerely encouraged by
listening a lot of people think that
great salespeople are great talkers the
best salespeople are the best listeners
Forrester Research did a study and they
found that among customers only 13%
believe that a salesperson can
understand their challenges and and
truly help them the key is listening the
key is asking questions what kinds of
questions questions like what are your
biggest goals where are you trying to go
what’s getting in the way
what have you tried what’s your story
Robert Collier said the key to
persuasion is to enter the conversation
already going on in the person’s mind
how are you gonna do that if you don’t
ask questions
sincerely encouraged by listening and
the last L and that SEL is the most
important one of all loving loving you
know it’s amazing love is the most
powerful force in the world we can
overcome our greatest fears our greatest
anxieties we can scale to new heights
and yet when I talk to salespeople on
business Lehner leaders and sales
trainers I’m amazed at very very few
companies ever used the word love in
their training it’s amazing maybe that’s
why according to Harvard Business Review
people that are excited and that sign up
for a position and sales they’re twice
as likely to quit than people in other
jobs I contend that’s because they were
never really told what sales really is
sales selling is love marketing is love
it’s about loving people
now I’ve had friends I’ve had business
people tell me look you know this all
sounds good Steve but don’t talk so much
about love feels uncomfortable you know
what I say to that I say they’ll they’ll
say they’ll say don’t talk so much about
love talk about how selling is serving I
say okay but focus on loving people and
you will end up serving them so much
better
it’s amazing what it can do you know
it’s it’s one of these things where what
I find about the power of love is that
it completely gives you the courage and
everything that you need everything that
we’ve talked about can be summarized
really really in that and one of the
things that I that I that I found is
that one of the biggest
things you can do is focus on who you’re
becoming in this process because it’s
easy to get up here and talk about love
but it’s also easy to forget to do
everything I’ve just said I find myself
I get so locked in sometimes to my goal
and what I want to achieve and what I
want to accomplish and I’m a million
miles from this message I’m not loving
people I’m not listening to people I’m
getting irritated I’m getting annoyed
I’m getting frustrated I’ve crossed to
the dark side but I learned something
from Augmon Dino is reading Augmon Dino
and inspirational Raider for salespeople
and actually it was inspired to create a
technique and in that moment when I’m
feeling stressed or fearful or angry or
impatient I actually want to catch it I
focus on the person I’m there to serve
and I mentally without saying anything I
say to them without saying any words
just to my own in my own mind I say I
love you I love you I love you and
something happens that the crustiness
around my heart starts to melt away I
become more present to this person’s
humanity and and more focused on them
and more compassionate and when you do
that you become a much more successful
salesperson but you become a better
human being
reminds me of a story that one of my
early mentors the late Spencer Hays told
he said there was a pastor one Saturday
who was working on his Saturday his
Sunday sermon and his son kept bothering
him you know kept interrupting him he
said I got to figure out a way to keep
this kid busy so he grabbed a National
Geographic magazine and he he found a
picture of the planet Earth and he tore
it out cut it up into little pieces and
gave it to his son and he said put the
planet Earth back together here’s some
scotch tape and let me know when you’re
done he’s figuring this will keep the
kid busy for hours kid comes back ten
minutes later done
proudly holding the world all taped back
together his father can’t believe it he
goes what how did she do that it was
easy dad see on the other side of the
page there was a picture of a person and
I figured if I got the person right the
world would be right say that again I
figured if I got the person right the
world would be right focus on being the
right person and the world will be so
much easier to reach focus on sincerely
encouraging by listening and by loving
and you will be amazed at the courage
you have to go to doors the courage you
have to knock on doors you will be
amazed at how many of those people thank
you for changing their life so whose
door should you be knocking on who do
you wish would say yes to you I want you
to go
I want you you’ll never be more
motivated than now I want you to go send
them a text send them an email make a
call take some action and begin a
conversation with them that’s what love
would do and let me know how it goes
because I am rooting for you knock on
that door today and if you do you will
begin one of the greatest journeys of
your life thank you
[Applause]
you
ago in Davidson North Carolina
my Resident Advisor Rob came to me and
he said Steve did I ever tell you about
the great summer job that I had said no
he said it was really wonderful I got to
work in marketing for this great
publishing company in fact it paid
really well and the guy who hired me is
coming to campus and he’s going to be
interviewing students and I really want
to invite you to to hear about this
maybe you can get a job I was really
flattered and because of my respect for
Rob I went to the interview it was
marketing it was publishing all right it
was selling books door-to-door now I
took a look at that and I did what any
reasonable college student would do I
signed up ah I signed up I signed up to
sell children’s books 80 hours a week
straight commissioned my dad and my mom
they freaked out you know my dad was a
corporate attorney and he just he knew
that look I had never sold anything I
didn’t have a charismatic bone in my
body I was just a nice kid who liked to
eat pop-tarts
but flash-forward the big day arrives
742 a.m. I’m in Rob’s car we’re driving
out to the neighborhood to begin
knocking doors my heart is racing I’ve
got a gigantic lump in my throat I
remember looking down at my khaki shorts
and my knees are literally shaking and
he’s like Steve any last minute stuff I
can do for you I’m like yeah don’t let
me out of this car next thing I know I’m
standing on a sidewalk in the suburb of
Lincoln Nebraska
I just see house after house door after
door I remember staring at the first
door waiting for the right psychological
moment to knock now before I tell you
what happened I have a question for you
whose door should you be knocking on who
do you want to say yes to you because I
tell you you know one thing I’ve seen is
that we’re all in sales so to speak we
all have something to sell it may be
that you have a business where you want
to convince people to buy your product
or service maybe you work with a
nonprofit organization and you need to
convince people to donate their time and
money or maybe you’re a parent trying to
convince your kids to do their homework
good luck with that
but who is it who’s door should you be
knocking on who is it that you want to
say yes to you is it a friend is it a
business associate is it your boss is it
a possible date for Friday night who is
it now when I because at the end of this
talk I’m actually going to invite you
I’m gonna challenge you to reach out to
somebody now the idea of reaching out to
somebody how many of you find that idea
just a little bit scary yeah you know
and I was terrified I mean here I was
back on the doorstep here Lincoln
Nebraska I’m about to knock on this door
and I remember something that robbed my
friend who got me into this she said to
me he said Steve don’t try to sell
anybody you just focus on loving and
serving them and you focus on leaving
them a little happier than when you came
that got me going and that got me
knocking people were friendly enough but
nobody let me in I mean I was really bad
and some people weren’t friendly at all
I mean one lady comes the door she won’t
even open the door
she’s just frowning at me through the
glass she’s like look you know I’m not
interested you know just show me what
you got
I grabbed these five children’s books
out of my satchel and I just completely
terrified I totally blanked and I’m
didn’t know what to do and I thought
well let me at least try to love and
serve her and leave her with a smile so
all of a sudden my creativity kicked in
I start actually you know reading little
excerpts of the stories I I found voices
for animal voices in me that I didn’t
even knew I had she’s not smiling young
man may I ask you a question yes
will you take a MasterCard or do I have
to write you a check
MasterCard cheque I take discover that’s
how I made my first sale and I survived
that summer and in fact because of
things I learned along the way I
actually finished that summer as one of
the top first-year salespeople and then
I actually went into business with my
brother where we teach irony of ironies
people we teach them how to market their
books their products and their services
and my dad couldn’t be prouder here’s
what I’ve learned
everyone has doors that if you knock on
those doors they open they can bring
incredible blessings but most of us
never knock because we’re scared those
doors could bring you sales they could
bring you funding they could bring you
advice they could bring you connections
they could bring you publicity but you
don’t knock on them and you know why I’m
convinced it’s because we have a giant
misconception of what it means to sell
to sell is a dirty word people think
it’s manipulative or something like that
I have redefined what it is to sell I
want to give you my definition I created
a little acronym now I don’t really like
acronyms but I I created this because I
think it’s really helpful to sell s e L
L sincerely encourage by listening
and loving sincerely encouraged by
listening and loving makes all the
difference you know s is first sincerely
when I think of sincere I think of
Elaine she’s one of the sweetest most
sincere people I know she came to me and
she said Steve I I’m a psychologist I
have this program that that really I
know will help children I mean love for
children just radiates from her and the
thing is though Steve the schools aren’t
interested nobody’s paying me I guess
I’m just not much of a salesperson I
said Elaine you have what what it really
takes to sell you one of the most
important assets your sincerity just
need a little bit of training so I
taught her how to have the conversation
with people how to reach out she calls
on the principal of a local school and
when she calls on that principal
principal says look I’ve got so much
going on right now my calendar is just
jammed the old Elaine would have just
turned around and walked away rejected
the new Elaine Elaine version 2.0 took a
breath and just really experienced that
principals stress and she just said wow
I could see I could understand you
really do have a lot going on since your
calendars jammed now why don’t we just
take a look and see when you might have
time to talk for a few minutes because I
know your kids would really love this
she got the appointment she met with
Elaine that to hit it off and as a
result of that Elaine is now doing a
pilot program at that school in fact
she’s learned how to communicate her
value so sincerely that she is speaking
at conferences for teachers she’s
training teachers internationally and
she’s getting paid for it
but it wouldn’t have happened if she
hadn’t owned the sincerely part of her e
is for encouragement encourage people to
take action sometimes were hesitant to
knock on a door because we’re worried
about getting turned down do you know
there are people that might just be
waiting for
you two knock on their door
Careerbuilder did a survey 76% of people
who are in a full-time job they’re
looking for another job or at least
they’re open to another opportunity you
could encourage them to take that action
somebody who who opened up an
opportunity for me was my high school
science teacher this guy was really shy
a real introvert and you know I have to
tell you he really was very boring as a
teacher okay sorry mr. Bush if you’re
watching you know but but mr. Bush saw
me in the hallway and he said Steve can
I talk to you for a minute
oh yeah okay we go into his classroom he
says Steve have you ever thought about
wrestling no I’m 91 pounds that’s why I
run winner track well Steve I’m the
wrestling coach and I saw you goofing
around in the gym and you’re really
talented I I really think that you could
do well with wrestling you can wrestle
in your weight class I mean you’re a
stud let me tell you something when
you’re in ninth grade and you weigh 91
pounds and somebody calls you a stud you
are encouraged to take action I didn’t
run when a track I wrestled that winner
and I had great memories I thought that
he was a mild-mannered health teacher
turns out mr. bush was a salesperson in
disguise sincerely encouraged by
listening a lot of people think that
great salespeople are great talkers the
best salespeople are the best listeners
Forrester Research did a study and they
found that among customers only 13%
believe that a salesperson can
understand their challenges and and
truly help them the key is listening the
key is asking questions what kinds of
questions questions like what are your
biggest goals where are you trying to go
what’s getting in the way
what have you tried what’s your story
Robert Collier said the key to
persuasion is to enter the conversation
already going on in the person’s mind
how are you gonna do that if you don’t
ask questions
sincerely encouraged by listening and
the last L and that SEL is the most
important one of all loving loving you
know it’s amazing love is the most
powerful force in the world we can
overcome our greatest fears our greatest
anxieties we can scale to new heights
and yet when I talk to salespeople on
business Lehner leaders and sales
trainers I’m amazed at very very few
companies ever used the word love in
their training it’s amazing maybe that’s
why according to Harvard Business Review
people that are excited and that sign up
for a position and sales they’re twice
as likely to quit than people in other
jobs I contend that’s because they were
never really told what sales really is
sales selling is love marketing is love
it’s about loving people
now I’ve had friends I’ve had business
people tell me look you know this all
sounds good Steve but don’t talk so much
about love feels uncomfortable you know
what I say to that I say they’ll they’ll
say they’ll say don’t talk so much about
love talk about how selling is serving I
say okay but focus on loving people and
you will end up serving them so much
better
it’s amazing what it can do you know
it’s it’s one of these things where what
I find about the power of love is that
it completely gives you the courage and
everything that you need everything that
we’ve talked about can be summarized
really really in that and one of the
things that I that I that I found is
that one of the biggest
things you can do is focus on who you’re
becoming in this process because it’s
easy to get up here and talk about love
but it’s also easy to forget to do
everything I’ve just said I find myself
I get so locked in sometimes to my goal
and what I want to achieve and what I
want to accomplish and I’m a million
miles from this message I’m not loving
people I’m not listening to people I’m
getting irritated I’m getting annoyed
I’m getting frustrated I’ve crossed to
the dark side but I learned something
from Augmon Dino is reading Augmon Dino
and inspirational Raider for salespeople
and actually it was inspired to create a
technique and in that moment when I’m
feeling stressed or fearful or angry or
impatient I actually want to catch it I
focus on the person I’m there to serve
and I mentally without saying anything I
say to them without saying any words
just to my own in my own mind I say I
love you I love you I love you and
something happens that the crustiness
around my heart starts to melt away I
become more present to this person’s
humanity and and more focused on them
and more compassionate and when you do
that you become a much more successful
salesperson but you become a better
human being
reminds me of a story that one of my
early mentors the late Spencer Hays told
he said there was a pastor one Saturday
who was working on his Saturday his
Sunday sermon and his son kept bothering
him you know kept interrupting him he
said I got to figure out a way to keep
this kid busy so he grabbed a National
Geographic magazine and he he found a
picture of the planet Earth and he tore
it out cut it up into little pieces and
gave it to his son and he said put the
planet Earth back together here’s some
scotch tape and let me know when you’re
done he’s figuring this will keep the
kid busy for hours kid comes back ten
minutes later done
proudly holding the world all taped back
together his father can’t believe it he
goes what how did she do that it was
easy dad see on the other side of the
page there was a picture of a person and
I figured if I got the person right the
world would be right say that again I
figured if I got the person right the
world would be right focus on being the
right person and the world will be so
much easier to reach focus on sincerely
encouraging by listening and by loving
and you will be amazed at the courage
you have to go to doors the courage you
have to knock on doors you will be
amazed at how many of those people thank
you for changing their life so whose
door should you be knocking on who do
you wish would say yes to you I want you
to go
I want you you’ll never be more
motivated than now I want you to go send
them a text send them an email make a
call take some action and begin a
conversation with them that’s what love
would do and let me know how it goes
because I am rooting for you knock on
that door today and if you do you will
begin one of the greatest journeys of
your life thank you
[Applause]
you
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