and they put a fun fact about me fun
fact he can’t stand people eating Apple
next to him I mean I’m pretty sure it’s
not just me right
when somebody in the room and it’s
silent and somebody starts eating an
apple raise your hands if you get
slightly at least slightly annoyed okay
yes yes I knew I was not alone in this
okay um so I was uh I gotta tell you
this is a lot of pressure a lot of
pressure for for me to deliver a talk
kind of comedic talk to a sober audience
it’s very tough and actually let’s check
it please raise your hands those all
those who are sober right now yes like
15% I personally think the early birds
thank you very much you make my day so
um anyway I just want to tell you that
this is a very kind of chaotic talk it’s
full of chaos and random ideas I was
actually hesitating what to talk about
some of the exciting things that
happened this year I was thinking maybe
I could highlight the advances in
artificial intelligence or the fact that
we announced that we’re going to
colonize Mars or the fact that this year
I found a parking spot near the American
University for the first time just you
know all equally important things but
then I thought I would just I just gang
up a couple of observations that I’ve
made over the year and this is random no
logic between them whatsoever just some
of the things that I have to do as part
of my job observe people your people by
the way so I observe you when you’re not
watching and I I make some some
observations yeah I have them written
down I’ll be radically honest as our
slogan is so um there will be a lot of
honesty there well I noticed that weasel
ah a lot the phrase our means are the
smartest nation do you have friends who
use that
yeah yes to two people you know people
I’m pretty sure pretty sure that a lot
of you have had this friends and I like
everybody is using that and especially I
think it’s it’s weird
I mean um I’m sorry step back it’s true
I’m not saying it’s not but you know
it’s usually it’s weird when somebody
says that and supports his or her
argument with well we’re the smartest
nation
you know Kardashians are Armenian or
Cher and stuff like that that’s a little
weird I think we should use that slogan
on Zvartnots so that tourists when they
come and it’s like plastered all over
savart notes and they see our means
we’re welcome to the smartest nation and
they’re like blown away oh my god where
the hell am i and then they get into
taxi and you know things change I
noticed that it’s kind of weird how
people sometimes say I’ll be honest with
you
I’ll be honest with you especially when
they say it thirty minutes into the
conversation like you’ve been talking
for thirty minutes and suddenly suddenly
the person decides you know screw
everything I’m gonna be honest with you
I’m done bullshitting you that’s it I’m
done I’m gonna be honest with you and
then you expect something else usually
he says that’s a nice tie and then you
think seriously
you had to ruin your credibility just
for something like that that’s a nice
tie save it for something really
important I think our government should
use that a lot say you know every time
they say something on TV like our
economy is doing great everything in the
country is doing great but I’ll be
honest with you it’s not I think that’s
where it fits then I think that I
noticed that it’s weird that a lot of
the things are more appreciated when
it’s done by little babies like when
they’re eating ice cream like when a
four-year-old is eating an ice cream
everybody’s like oh my god an ice cream
look at that and everybody is excited
meanwhile when I eat ice cream and I
gotta tell I stir much much better than
if
four-year-old trust me you can try me
buy me ice cream and I’ll just I’ll
destroy that much better than a
four-year-old but nobody cares nobody
cares saying with piano players you know
when a little babies paying a piano
there everybody’s like oh my god with
this tiny hands playing the piano but
when a middle-aged person is playing a
piano everybody said okay that’s a grown
up he’s he’s supposed to playing piano
that’s that’s fine
excitement is out there and I so that’s
a little weird
then I noticed another weird thing that
with time after you try a giant harp
Orion yerevan heavy tried a giant
Hajipur e yeah well there are some some
places that have good adjourn Hajipur e
some places that have sometimes good
sometimes bad adjourn for usually it’s
just you know it’s it’s random you never
know you never know so there are places
that are sometimes good and there are
places that are always bad I tend to
prefer stability recently I go for the
bed one because you know for sure you’re
not gonna have any disappointment there
so whenever I have a choice I tend to go
to the bed adjourn watch Oprah plays
just to avoid that you know that
potential risk of disappointment I used
to have a lot of friends who would say
oh you don’t need money to be happy you
know there’s always people saying you
don’t really need money to be happy and
I had a lot of friends like that and
then suddenly they stopped saying that
all the people that used to say that I
knew from student times they just stop
saying that and I assumed they tried
they tried being happy without money
they didn’t really like it then so now
they are back on track and they’re just
silent about how to be happy without
money I noticed that some of the phrases
that people are using have no way of
ending well you hear the beginning and
you know it’s gonna end in a disaster
like a phrase generally are not
anti-semitic but
but and you know what every set is gonna
be terrible and anti-semitic same with
phrases like that you know I think I
think murder is unethical however you
know whatever the person is saying is
gonna justify that or generally stealing
votes is bad but you know who says that
you know when they say that say that and
that’s a weird part of our reality
I’ve seen some amines to some weddings
this year and I noticed that there’s a
very peculiar mean way of wishing
happiness they tell the girl
usually on a shake or something they say
I wish you to be the happiest and the
happiest they don’t say I wish you to be
happy
because being happy for honor shake is
not enough they want to make sure that 7
billion people on the planet are less
happy than a Nashik they want to make
sure that uh no Sheik is happy in their
face
ok that’s how much they love honor shake
so that’s how much happiness they wish
her I noticed that army an unofficial
slogan that people are using generally
about the country they see it seems like
it’s taken from a Thai massage salon
virtual Avenue it’s gonna end well and
it’s weird because you know when the
massage is performed by the government
you never really know if it’s gonna end
well um I noticed a weird stuff about
fairy tales that we’re taking from
Europe you know we’re we’re doing pretty
good with Europe recently but read
little Riding Hood I think it’s kind of
artificially implanted here it would
never really it’s not supposed to work
here because you know Armenian
granddaughters I’m pretty sure I’m
pretty sure they can tell their grandma
from a wolf right well they get into the
the bed the the apartment where the
grandmas lying and it’s a wolf I’m
pretty sure that a Romanian Grendel
would say oh that’s a wolf I mean we
can’t tell I can tell my grandmother
from a wolf most of the time
so it shouldn’t work here and especially
when they go into the little girl Red
Riding Hood says oh grandma what a big
nose
an Armenian granddaughter would never
say that she would never say because to
her it’s it’s just a nose she would just
get into a room with a big bad wolf and
would say hey grandma what a regular
nose what a regular great Armenian
emotional eyes you know that that
shouldn’t be so surprising for a million
audience but that still somehow works
that’s weird and that that’s what I
noticed I noticed that sometimes the
weirdest criticism and reaction you get
from the least expected place like would
you expect or imagine the French Embassy
to complain about a satiric program and
ask not to joke about certain things
would you would you well I mean you
would expect that from embassy of
Turkmenistan which they did also I’m not
saying they didn’t but sometimes it’s
really weirdly coming from places with
full of egg a little better and the
other brotherly love yeah fraternity so
some of these weird things and now
coming back to corruption corruption we
have to be very attentive and whenever
there is a chance that we can prevent
corruption we should prevent corruption
see corruption is not fun not even here
corruption is not funny
so let’s get to serious work and tackle
corruption seriously thank you very much
you
fact he can’t stand people eating Apple
next to him I mean I’m pretty sure it’s
not just me right
when somebody in the room and it’s
silent and somebody starts eating an
apple raise your hands if you get
slightly at least slightly annoyed okay
yes yes I knew I was not alone in this
okay um so I was uh I gotta tell you
this is a lot of pressure a lot of
pressure for for me to deliver a talk
kind of comedic talk to a sober audience
it’s very tough and actually let’s check
it please raise your hands those all
those who are sober right now yes like
15% I personally think the early birds
thank you very much you make my day so
um anyway I just want to tell you that
this is a very kind of chaotic talk it’s
full of chaos and random ideas I was
actually hesitating what to talk about
some of the exciting things that
happened this year I was thinking maybe
I could highlight the advances in
artificial intelligence or the fact that
we announced that we’re going to
colonize Mars or the fact that this year
I found a parking spot near the American
University for the first time just you
know all equally important things but
then I thought I would just I just gang
up a couple of observations that I’ve
made over the year and this is random no
logic between them whatsoever just some
of the things that I have to do as part
of my job observe people your people by
the way so I observe you when you’re not
watching and I I make some some
observations yeah I have them written
down I’ll be radically honest as our
slogan is so um there will be a lot of
honesty there well I noticed that weasel
ah a lot the phrase our means are the
smartest nation do you have friends who
use that
yeah yes to two people you know people
I’m pretty sure pretty sure that a lot
of you have had this friends and I like
everybody is using that and especially I
think it’s it’s weird
I mean um I’m sorry step back it’s true
I’m not saying it’s not but you know
it’s usually it’s weird when somebody
says that and supports his or her
argument with well we’re the smartest
nation
you know Kardashians are Armenian or
Cher and stuff like that that’s a little
weird I think we should use that slogan
on Zvartnots so that tourists when they
come and it’s like plastered all over
savart notes and they see our means
we’re welcome to the smartest nation and
they’re like blown away oh my god where
the hell am i and then they get into
taxi and you know things change I
noticed that it’s kind of weird how
people sometimes say I’ll be honest with
you
I’ll be honest with you especially when
they say it thirty minutes into the
conversation like you’ve been talking
for thirty minutes and suddenly suddenly
the person decides you know screw
everything I’m gonna be honest with you
I’m done bullshitting you that’s it I’m
done I’m gonna be honest with you and
then you expect something else usually
he says that’s a nice tie and then you
think seriously
you had to ruin your credibility just
for something like that that’s a nice
tie save it for something really
important I think our government should
use that a lot say you know every time
they say something on TV like our
economy is doing great everything in the
country is doing great but I’ll be
honest with you it’s not I think that’s
where it fits then I think that I
noticed that it’s weird that a lot of
the things are more appreciated when
it’s done by little babies like when
they’re eating ice cream like when a
four-year-old is eating an ice cream
everybody’s like oh my god an ice cream
look at that and everybody is excited
meanwhile when I eat ice cream and I
gotta tell I stir much much better than
if
four-year-old trust me you can try me
buy me ice cream and I’ll just I’ll
destroy that much better than a
four-year-old but nobody cares nobody
cares saying with piano players you know
when a little babies paying a piano
there everybody’s like oh my god with
this tiny hands playing the piano but
when a middle-aged person is playing a
piano everybody said okay that’s a grown
up he’s he’s supposed to playing piano
that’s that’s fine
excitement is out there and I so that’s
a little weird
then I noticed another weird thing that
with time after you try a giant harp
Orion yerevan heavy tried a giant
Hajipur e yeah well there are some some
places that have good adjourn Hajipur e
some places that have sometimes good
sometimes bad adjourn for usually it’s
just you know it’s it’s random you never
know you never know so there are places
that are sometimes good and there are
places that are always bad I tend to
prefer stability recently I go for the
bed one because you know for sure you’re
not gonna have any disappointment there
so whenever I have a choice I tend to go
to the bed adjourn watch Oprah plays
just to avoid that you know that
potential risk of disappointment I used
to have a lot of friends who would say
oh you don’t need money to be happy you
know there’s always people saying you
don’t really need money to be happy and
I had a lot of friends like that and
then suddenly they stopped saying that
all the people that used to say that I
knew from student times they just stop
saying that and I assumed they tried
they tried being happy without money
they didn’t really like it then so now
they are back on track and they’re just
silent about how to be happy without
money I noticed that some of the phrases
that people are using have no way of
ending well you hear the beginning and
you know it’s gonna end in a disaster
like a phrase generally are not
anti-semitic but
but and you know what every set is gonna
be terrible and anti-semitic same with
phrases like that you know I think I
think murder is unethical however you
know whatever the person is saying is
gonna justify that or generally stealing
votes is bad but you know who says that
you know when they say that say that and
that’s a weird part of our reality
I’ve seen some amines to some weddings
this year and I noticed that there’s a
very peculiar mean way of wishing
happiness they tell the girl
usually on a shake or something they say
I wish you to be the happiest and the
happiest they don’t say I wish you to be
happy
because being happy for honor shake is
not enough they want to make sure that 7
billion people on the planet are less
happy than a Nashik they want to make
sure that uh no Sheik is happy in their
face
ok that’s how much they love honor shake
so that’s how much happiness they wish
her I noticed that army an unofficial
slogan that people are using generally
about the country they see it seems like
it’s taken from a Thai massage salon
virtual Avenue it’s gonna end well and
it’s weird because you know when the
massage is performed by the government
you never really know if it’s gonna end
well um I noticed a weird stuff about
fairy tales that we’re taking from
Europe you know we’re we’re doing pretty
good with Europe recently but read
little Riding Hood I think it’s kind of
artificially implanted here it would
never really it’s not supposed to work
here because you know Armenian
granddaughters I’m pretty sure I’m
pretty sure they can tell their grandma
from a wolf right well they get into the
the bed the the apartment where the
grandmas lying and it’s a wolf I’m
pretty sure that a Romanian Grendel
would say oh that’s a wolf I mean we
can’t tell I can tell my grandmother
from a wolf most of the time
so it shouldn’t work here and especially
when they go into the little girl Red
Riding Hood says oh grandma what a big
nose
an Armenian granddaughter would never
say that she would never say because to
her it’s it’s just a nose she would just
get into a room with a big bad wolf and
would say hey grandma what a regular
nose what a regular great Armenian
emotional eyes you know that that
shouldn’t be so surprising for a million
audience but that still somehow works
that’s weird and that that’s what I
noticed I noticed that sometimes the
weirdest criticism and reaction you get
from the least expected place like would
you expect or imagine the French Embassy
to complain about a satiric program and
ask not to joke about certain things
would you would you well I mean you
would expect that from embassy of
Turkmenistan which they did also I’m not
saying they didn’t but sometimes it’s
really weirdly coming from places with
full of egg a little better and the
other brotherly love yeah fraternity so
some of these weird things and now
coming back to corruption corruption we
have to be very attentive and whenever
there is a chance that we can prevent
corruption we should prevent corruption
see corruption is not fun not even here
corruption is not funny
so let’s get to serious work and tackle
corruption seriously thank you very much
you
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