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The many masks I wear | Ndéla Faye | TEDxWarwickSalon


depending on my mood and on who is

asking I’ll have different answers to

the question where are you from if I’m

short for time I might just answer

Finland and Senegal but more often than

not I feel like that answer is met with

confusion they might say where are you

really from or aren’t Finnish people

meant to be blond with blue eyes well

clearly not I’ll respond I am what some

people call a third culture kid a TCK

and third culture kids are people who

have grown up the majority of their

lives in a culture other than their own

and they tend to mix and merge their

birth culture with their adopted culture

to create one of their own in my case I

was born in one country moved to another

and I’ve cherry-picked aspects from each

to create my own culture but what is

culture culture is described as a

combination of the way we act how we

speak how we dress and what we eat

culture is passed down through

generations and it’s form through our

peers culture doesn’t come to us

instinctively it’s a it’s an

amalgamation of patterns of behaviors

beliefs and values but what happens when

the lines of culture are blurred my

story goes like this

my mother is finished my father is

Senegalese I grew up in Finland

Luxembourg Belgium and I now live in

London but I don’t feel very finnish

Luxembourgish Belgian British nor do I

feel very Senegalese but I carry each of

those countries with me and they all

created me but whenever I feel like I

need to explain or prove my origins to

people I find myself skewing parts of my

identity and omitting parts of me to

make myself seem more palatable more

easily digestible more understandable

others I don’t do it to seem

disingenuous I just don’t want to stand

out or come across as aloof so sometimes

the simple answer of we moved around a

lot when I was a kid is all I can manage

but instead of asking where are you from

I much prefer the question where do you

feel most at home I think that’s the

question that’s able to peek into a

person’s deepest core and is able to let

them choose for themselves how they

define their their sense of belonging

and it leaves leaves a lot less room for

interpretation by others home is an

emotional place and home to me is where

I feel comfortable walking around

it’s where the man in my corner shop

laughs in my daily purchase of

pomegranates and cat litter it’s where I

can call my friends in the middle of the

day to go for a quick coffee

tazer lassie stated that home can

represent where we worked grew up or

live and she calls herself a multi local

and she rejects the the concept of

coming from just one country because she

believes that countries and borders are

just artificial concepts I often feel as

though I’m wearing different masks I

highlight parts of my identity depending

on what the situation is for example if

I forget an English word I might say

well I’m forgetting English it’s my

third language it’s not my fault but if

I forget a Finnish word I’ll say well

even if it’s my mother tongue I’ve not

lived in the country for two decades so

it’s not my fault but I have a dilemma

where do I belong Who am I really

and which of these masks is the true me

I don’t again feel that this is

purposefully to skew my identity but

it’s just to represent me as a whole as

we’re all products of our environment

I must give credit to the incredibly

multicultural environment that I grew up

in in Brussels where I went to an

international school my friends came

from several different countries and we

all spoke several different languages

fluently we were all poster children for

European integration and it seemed that

the more diverse we were as a group the

less importance nationality seemed to

have and the more we would focus on what

we shared and the less we would focus on

what made us different but to me the

idea of home is also a mythical place in

my mind one that I’ve never truly known

it’s a place where I can walk the

streets of the city I was born in

without a map it’s a place where the

kids I went to nursery with are still my

friends or a place where the home I was

born in and has door frames covering my

growth spurts and sometimes I get sad

thinking that I never got to experience

that but on the other hand I’m also

grateful because I know that I wouldn’t

be Who I am today had I not moved around

as a kid many tcks described feeling

ruthless but the sense of rootlessness

also brings with it a certain kind of

freedom it gives you a sense that

everything can be just as temporary or

just as permanent as you want it to be

when I was deciding on where to move to

study I remember at one point looking at

a map and thinking I can move anywhere

in the world so how on earth do I choose

where to go but a lot of the time I also

feel like I don’t quite fit in any box

sometimes literally I went to the doctor

once and had to fill in a survey and

under the race and ethnicity box I found

that my usual box which is mixed white

with black African was missing and I

told the nurse my box is missing and she

turned around looked at me and just said

just tick the afro-caribbean box perhaps

I was reading far too much into the

symbolism of the whole situation but I’d

never felt more concretely before that

there was no box for me I believe that

tcks are unique people who are able to

adapt and become part of multiple

cultures I returned back to the masks

that we wear they’re not to come across

as disingenuous but they represent a

storyboard of all that we are and it

represents our multifaceted identities

but as a TCK I’m also aware of the many

privileges I have I’ve had opportunities

handed to me I’ve had the privilege of

speaking several languages fluently I

also have a decreased sense of space

financial constraints aside I feel like

I can hop on a plane to anywhere in the

world and have the confidence to explore

the world and I think it’s important to

note that a lot of people in this world

do not have the same opportunities so as

tcks I think we must be mindful of our

privilege I’d also like to point out

that I’m in no way unique having spoken

to many other tcks I know that I’m not

alone with my feelings and with growing

numbers of global migration I’m sure

that hybrid identities will be

commonplace in the future so do I think

I’ll ever move back to Finland or one

day live in Senegal it’s impossible for

me to say but I don’t think so for me

it’s easier to feel like a foreigner in

a foreign country than to feel like a

foreigner in a country I’m supposed to

call my own I think finding my own place

in this world will be a lifelong journey

but for now I’m exactly where I need to

be I am black I am finished

I’m Senegalese I’m a Londoner

and expression was I’m a partner

daughter a sister and an auntie and

those are just some of the many masks I

wear and they all represent different

aspects of me but they all make up me as

cliched as it may sound I genuinely feel

like the world is my oyster and the

options for the kind of life I want to

carve out for my family are limitless

and I woke with brexit and the current

political climate in the world that

young people will still be able to

thrive and continue to explore the world

and I hope that borders will remain

irrelevant war less near imaginary

concepts and I genuinely believe that

exploring the world and living among

different cultures enriches your life

and I would very much encourage everyone

to do the same if you can

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