[Applause]
before we get started I want you to
indulge me for a minute
I just need to take a moment and just
share some of my my heartache what’s
happened in our country over the last
several days you know I grew up in New
York and my most vivid memory is I often
share with my dad was when I left New
York and moved to North Carolina I said
dad you know I ride cabs all the time
and in the last month I’ve been pulled
over 14 times pulled out of the cab
first and then found out nothing was
wrong him and put back into the cab and
told to go on my way so as we as a
nation continue to try to I think come
to grips with what’s happened across our
country as well as in Dallas I like for
you all just to continue to take time
and remember that us as Americans need
to continue to figure out where that
pieces for all of us so I want to start
with a question the question is who in
your life refused to allow you to fail
was it your mom your dad that teacher
the lady who was down the street or was
it your friend well for me you know
growing up in the Bronx it was my mom
and she articulated this in a really mom
kind of way you know most folks they
talk about well I want to push you to
what success and I refuse to allow you
to fail but they do it through their
actions well my mom did it loudly and
she said it often and I heard it often
and it just resonates in the back of my
mind that I refused to allow you to fail
even when I was in middle school and in
high school and doing some of the things
that inner-city kids do that they really
shouldn’t be doing which we know is not
conducive to any type of success there
was a narrative and that narrative was I
refused to allow you to fail but the
narrative then became the switch and it
was I refused to lose you to the streets
you will have success so for me there’s
this question of
well what does it mean when you refuse
to allow someone to fail is it just the
one person is it the ecosystem really
what is it when you refuse to just say
go on jump off the cliff
so my son my youngest son recently
graduated from high school and he
graduated with one of our really really
close friends Dante and so they were in
Cameron Indoor Stadium where Duke fans
so that we got really really excited and
there the whole entire graduation class
is sitting in Cameron and I’m there and
I’m looking at them and I’m just in awe
and then all of a sudden I have this
epiphany the Epiphany ends is oh wow
there was actually someone that was in
every one of these children of color
slides who said I refuse to allow you to
fail you’re gonna have success you know
I thought some more about what would
happen over the course of the year and I
remember the robo calls we would get we
would get them from the school every
Sunday every Sunday evening we hear the
voice of mr. Logan the principal and
what he would be saying after he gave us
the rundown of the schedule of the week
he would talk about which child had a
scholarship to this college which child
had a scholarship to that college in
which other job just got accepted to
another school and this was sort of you
know in my mind really just reinforcing
that oh wow he was part of this
ecosystem you see these kids had
determination they had grit they had
toughness regardless to where they came
from what they look like because you see
wouldn’t you looked at them outside of
their caps and gowns what you actually
saw were kids who you really didn’t
think should be graduating from high
school right you would look at them and
say I don’t think he or she’s going to
graduate but they had this determination
that they were going to have success and
I think we get really really excited
when we have adults who stand by
children and say I know you have
I know you’re determined and now I can
help facilitate that hope because I have
the same level of grit determination for
you to have success so the young man
that was standing next to my son his
name is Dante but tell your story about
Dante you know this story it just it
gives me goosebumps every time I think
about it I just talked to Dante a couple
of days ago and so we played I coached
it and I say we played right I coach
they played competitive au basketball we
started at age 9 and we traveled and we
were competing for state championships
and competing nationally so we had
played really really well the year
before and we were looking for a big man
as we were preparing for a state
championship and then thinking about
going on to Florida to play in AU
Nationals and I was talking to one of
our coaches and I said you know what I
need a big man I got to have to have
another big man to be able to compete at
this level and he says hey Reese going
over to the shelter I got a kid for you
now I had to stop take a deep breath say
the shelter said go to the shelter so I
went downtown to the shelter and I get
to the shelter and there all these men
milling around and there are in the
shelter has a adult component but it
also has a family component in the back
and acts one of the men I said well hey
I’m looking for this kid his name is
Dante and he says hang on I’ll be right
back well he disappears him to the
shelter and he goes I guess
oleh to the back I’m standing outside
I’m kind of looking at the men you’re
not worked in these settings before and
so I’m just sort of taken in all the
sights and lo and behold way in the back
I see this young man coming towards me
and he’s walking and I’m just totally
amazed because in this sea of like
homeless men this is 11 year old who’s
just confident it’s all get-out and he’s
just walking and I see his brother kind
of behind him I’m assuming it’s his
brother and he walks up to me and he
says hey I’m Dante you looking for me
what’s up and you know we clicked right
then and there and so I said guess what
I want to take you to Charlotte and I
want to take you to Florida but I need
to talk to your mom and kind of tell you
mom what’s going on and he hesitates
and he says okay so we go into the
shelter and I meet his mom and
immediately I understand why they live
in the shelter she loves her babies but
you know what there’s just life and life
is kind of got in the way and it sort of
just is what it is let’s fast forward a
little bit
you see Dante played with us we went on
we won’t actually want to stay
championship we competed really well at
AU Nationals and then we just continued
to play basketball I’m using sports as
this vehicle towards the opportunities
of success and Dante had coaches and
parents who just created this ecosystem
around him and just supported his grit
and became the adults that actually had
the same amount of grit determination
for him to have the success as well as
their own kids to have success
so I’d say also got really good at
navigating systems and see this is sort
of what we begin to facilitate in
children when we talk about this hope
piece the whole piece isn’t just that
you can do well over here but it’s that
you can do well over this side as well
and he got really really good at it I
remember when he graduated and we were
standing there and we were taking all
the pictures and I you know I said hey
where’s your mom and I could see in his
face he was looking and everybody else
was there with all their parents in
there they’re taking the pictures and
he’s taking pictures but I could also
see he’s looking and he’s waiting and
he’s like where are you lo and behold
mom shows up she gives him the hug and
she’s just excited and I see the change
in his whole demeanor because mom is
there Dante had the opportunity he does
now to play Division one football and so
he’s had several scholarship offers yeah
Dante’s actually not here today because
he’s at football camp and so he chose
North Carolina Central University to
play football and so I said Dante help
me understand you’ve been living in
Durham your entire life well most of
your entire life you kind of claim
Virginia but you live in here in Durham
and so why didn’t you just go to another
part of the country you could see the
world he said coach my support systems
here everybody that loves me cares for
me is right here in this city she said
more importantly I have nieces and have
nephews they need to be able to touch me
reach out and see my success because
this is the only way that they will know
that success can actually happen it in
East Durham we have thousands of dante’s
see we have some Dante’s were born last
night we have some Dante’s who are
working with us and it is their seventh
graders right now but we have all these
Dante’s a little boy Dante’s little girl
Dante’s but what they have in common is
that they have determination to have
success they have never met a kid who
says I want to fail I’ve actually never
met a parent who says I want my kid to
fail our job I think in in East Durham
and with the Eastern children’s
initiative is to help people figure out
how to have success how parents figure
out how they have their kids have
success how do we work with them from
the time they’re born and so we haven’t
ready for college and career matching
that level of grit determination to help
facilitating that hope which allows our
kids and our families to reach that goal
of the college of their choice so
whether they choose to go to California
to go to college or whether they choose
to stay right here in Durham because
this is where their support system is
and this is where they have an
opportunity to be a role model that
someone else that’s our role these
supports are critical you know we sat in
a room back in 2008 and started asking
the question well if we’re gonna have
kids have successful what should look
like what should it be who should be a
part of it we sat around a table and we
challenged folks we said we want you to
come up with the system think of it as a
pipeline we’re gonna walk with kids
along this journey there’s one caveat
don’t think about the money don’t think
about what it’s going to cost see when
you start thinking about the money you
get into the core then all of a sudden
so I say you know we just can’t do that
nope can’t do that either
I don’t want you to think about the cost
but I do want you to think about other
possibilities I want you to think about
what is it going to take to create this
comprehensive pipeline that can take
children who we look at today and say I
don’t quite know you’re gonna have
success and have those children be the
success of tomorrow we follow up data
and what the data said was that we had
to start at birth we had to actually go
ahead and identify kids who were born
literally last night so those kids who
were born last night those are like
those are my new little edci kids right
I’m calling the money kids because those
kids are gonna have all the
interventions that their eight-year-old
counterparts might have missed some of
the early years of these kids are gonna
have everything and see for them they’re
gonna have someone who’s gonna continue
to walk with them through the ups
through the downs developing the same
grit that we expect our young folks to
have let me ask you another question how
many times does a teacher come to your
home good bad or indifferent and then I
know now you’re thinking for those of
you who had teachers come to your home
because it’s a bad you don’t want to
raise your hand and that’s okay but but
I also want you to think about this if
we’re going to work with families and
we’re going to walk with children along
this journey and we’re going to match
their level of grit we need to know what
we’re playing with what are the cards
that these kids are dealt and then how
do we go ahead and lay out the game plan
for children to have success so we have
what we call parent advocates see there
that link between parent teacher and
child we have them in early childhood we
have an elementary school we even have a
youth advocate in in in middle school
but what they do is and is really simple
their goal is to make sure that your
child is ready to learn tomorrow morning
regardless to whether you had heat hot
water whether the cops were knocking
next door
it doesn’t matter can we have your child
ready to learn tomorrow so we can walk
along this journey
you know these next couple of slides I
calmly show me the money slides because
you know I talk to folks all the time
they hear about this concept this edci
concept they they see kids as we take
them out and we show them kids in camp
we show them kids in schools and they
say David does this really work or is
this really just show-and-tell
it is this reality you know through four
years we grab a thousand kids keep about
600 of them active but what we figured
out is that if kids are involved in
three or more IDI Sam related
interventions guess what their academic
up ticks I’m actually doing better you
see what I didn’t tell you was we chose
this zone because it had the highest
rates of crime had the highest rates of
teen pregnancy substance abuse childhood
abuse and neglect had the lowest
performing elementary school middle
school in high school guess what it’s no
longer the lowest performing Elementary
School it’s not anything that a DCI does
but this is what this continuum does
when you bring together all of these
high quality evidence-based
interventions back from Durham and you
get them thinking along one line which
says we will match determination and
grit of the kids and families that we
work with so we create this model and we
create a model that really in theory
should be scalable and it should be
replicatable we should be able to pick
it up and drop it in any other part of
Durham that that needs it we should be
able to pick it up and drop it in any
other part of the triangle or the
country for that matter that is similar
to Durham with similar sights challenges
but also with similar sizes resources
which every community has and create
this pipeline as we work to create an
ecosystem that holds children and
families together really really really
close matching their grit matching their
determination and walking with them
along this journey you know is that good
to make success but what we know is that
if kids are sick they don’t get to
school we also know that if kids are
hungry they don’t sit down in class and
so as we think about this this is about
creating comprehensive interventions
that are gonna work with kids yes kids
have to be able to perform an integrate
s they have to be able to have at least
a year’s worth of growth over the course
of the school year if not more but there
are all these other intangibles that
make for successful children back within
a successful community and that’s the
other side of this work so now as I
leave you and you’re going to go home
this evening you’re gonna think about
all the wonderful TED talk speakers that
you heard you’re gonna say oh my this
was just fabulous and when do we do it
again when do we get to sit here listen
to all these wonderful folks just talk
about all these things which is so
important to our lives I want you to
stop but I want you to begin to ask
yourself the question who are you
refusing to allow to fail
[Applause]
before we get started I want you to
indulge me for a minute
I just need to take a moment and just
share some of my my heartache what’s
happened in our country over the last
several days you know I grew up in New
York and my most vivid memory is I often
share with my dad was when I left New
York and moved to North Carolina I said
dad you know I ride cabs all the time
and in the last month I’ve been pulled
over 14 times pulled out of the cab
first and then found out nothing was
wrong him and put back into the cab and
told to go on my way so as we as a
nation continue to try to I think come
to grips with what’s happened across our
country as well as in Dallas I like for
you all just to continue to take time
and remember that us as Americans need
to continue to figure out where that
pieces for all of us so I want to start
with a question the question is who in
your life refused to allow you to fail
was it your mom your dad that teacher
the lady who was down the street or was
it your friend well for me you know
growing up in the Bronx it was my mom
and she articulated this in a really mom
kind of way you know most folks they
talk about well I want to push you to
what success and I refuse to allow you
to fail but they do it through their
actions well my mom did it loudly and
she said it often and I heard it often
and it just resonates in the back of my
mind that I refused to allow you to fail
even when I was in middle school and in
high school and doing some of the things
that inner-city kids do that they really
shouldn’t be doing which we know is not
conducive to any type of success there
was a narrative and that narrative was I
refused to allow you to fail but the
narrative then became the switch and it
was I refused to lose you to the streets
you will have success so for me there’s
this question of
well what does it mean when you refuse
to allow someone to fail is it just the
one person is it the ecosystem really
what is it when you refuse to just say
go on jump off the cliff
so my son my youngest son recently
graduated from high school and he
graduated with one of our really really
close friends Dante and so they were in
Cameron Indoor Stadium where Duke fans
so that we got really really excited and
there the whole entire graduation class
is sitting in Cameron and I’m there and
I’m looking at them and I’m just in awe
and then all of a sudden I have this
epiphany the Epiphany ends is oh wow
there was actually someone that was in
every one of these children of color
slides who said I refuse to allow you to
fail you’re gonna have success you know
I thought some more about what would
happen over the course of the year and I
remember the robo calls we would get we
would get them from the school every
Sunday every Sunday evening we hear the
voice of mr. Logan the principal and
what he would be saying after he gave us
the rundown of the schedule of the week
he would talk about which child had a
scholarship to this college which child
had a scholarship to that college in
which other job just got accepted to
another school and this was sort of you
know in my mind really just reinforcing
that oh wow he was part of this
ecosystem you see these kids had
determination they had grit they had
toughness regardless to where they came
from what they look like because you see
wouldn’t you looked at them outside of
their caps and gowns what you actually
saw were kids who you really didn’t
think should be graduating from high
school right you would look at them and
say I don’t think he or she’s going to
graduate but they had this determination
that they were going to have success and
I think we get really really excited
when we have adults who stand by
children and say I know you have
I know you’re determined and now I can
help facilitate that hope because I have
the same level of grit determination for
you to have success so the young man
that was standing next to my son his
name is Dante but tell your story about
Dante you know this story it just it
gives me goosebumps every time I think
about it I just talked to Dante a couple
of days ago and so we played I coached
it and I say we played right I coach
they played competitive au basketball we
started at age 9 and we traveled and we
were competing for state championships
and competing nationally so we had
played really really well the year
before and we were looking for a big man
as we were preparing for a state
championship and then thinking about
going on to Florida to play in AU
Nationals and I was talking to one of
our coaches and I said you know what I
need a big man I got to have to have
another big man to be able to compete at
this level and he says hey Reese going
over to the shelter I got a kid for you
now I had to stop take a deep breath say
the shelter said go to the shelter so I
went downtown to the shelter and I get
to the shelter and there all these men
milling around and there are in the
shelter has a adult component but it
also has a family component in the back
and acts one of the men I said well hey
I’m looking for this kid his name is
Dante and he says hang on I’ll be right
back well he disappears him to the
shelter and he goes I guess
oleh to the back I’m standing outside
I’m kind of looking at the men you’re
not worked in these settings before and
so I’m just sort of taken in all the
sights and lo and behold way in the back
I see this young man coming towards me
and he’s walking and I’m just totally
amazed because in this sea of like
homeless men this is 11 year old who’s
just confident it’s all get-out and he’s
just walking and I see his brother kind
of behind him I’m assuming it’s his
brother and he walks up to me and he
says hey I’m Dante you looking for me
what’s up and you know we clicked right
then and there and so I said guess what
I want to take you to Charlotte and I
want to take you to Florida but I need
to talk to your mom and kind of tell you
mom what’s going on and he hesitates
and he says okay so we go into the
shelter and I meet his mom and
immediately I understand why they live
in the shelter she loves her babies but
you know what there’s just life and life
is kind of got in the way and it sort of
just is what it is let’s fast forward a
little bit
you see Dante played with us we went on
we won’t actually want to stay
championship we competed really well at
AU Nationals and then we just continued
to play basketball I’m using sports as
this vehicle towards the opportunities
of success and Dante had coaches and
parents who just created this ecosystem
around him and just supported his grit
and became the adults that actually had
the same amount of grit determination
for him to have the success as well as
their own kids to have success
so I’d say also got really good at
navigating systems and see this is sort
of what we begin to facilitate in
children when we talk about this hope
piece the whole piece isn’t just that
you can do well over here but it’s that
you can do well over this side as well
and he got really really good at it I
remember when he graduated and we were
standing there and we were taking all
the pictures and I you know I said hey
where’s your mom and I could see in his
face he was looking and everybody else
was there with all their parents in
there they’re taking the pictures and
he’s taking pictures but I could also
see he’s looking and he’s waiting and
he’s like where are you lo and behold
mom shows up she gives him the hug and
she’s just excited and I see the change
in his whole demeanor because mom is
there Dante had the opportunity he does
now to play Division one football and so
he’s had several scholarship offers yeah
Dante’s actually not here today because
he’s at football camp and so he chose
North Carolina Central University to
play football and so I said Dante help
me understand you’ve been living in
Durham your entire life well most of
your entire life you kind of claim
Virginia but you live in here in Durham
and so why didn’t you just go to another
part of the country you could see the
world he said coach my support systems
here everybody that loves me cares for
me is right here in this city she said
more importantly I have nieces and have
nephews they need to be able to touch me
reach out and see my success because
this is the only way that they will know
that success can actually happen it in
East Durham we have thousands of dante’s
see we have some Dante’s were born last
night we have some Dante’s who are
working with us and it is their seventh
graders right now but we have all these
Dante’s a little boy Dante’s little girl
Dante’s but what they have in common is
that they have determination to have
success they have never met a kid who
says I want to fail I’ve actually never
met a parent who says I want my kid to
fail our job I think in in East Durham
and with the Eastern children’s
initiative is to help people figure out
how to have success how parents figure
out how they have their kids have
success how do we work with them from
the time they’re born and so we haven’t
ready for college and career matching
that level of grit determination to help
facilitating that hope which allows our
kids and our families to reach that goal
of the college of their choice so
whether they choose to go to California
to go to college or whether they choose
to stay right here in Durham because
this is where their support system is
and this is where they have an
opportunity to be a role model that
someone else that’s our role these
supports are critical you know we sat in
a room back in 2008 and started asking
the question well if we’re gonna have
kids have successful what should look
like what should it be who should be a
part of it we sat around a table and we
challenged folks we said we want you to
come up with the system think of it as a
pipeline we’re gonna walk with kids
along this journey there’s one caveat
don’t think about the money don’t think
about what it’s going to cost see when
you start thinking about the money you
get into the core then all of a sudden
so I say you know we just can’t do that
nope can’t do that either
I don’t want you to think about the cost
but I do want you to think about other
possibilities I want you to think about
what is it going to take to create this
comprehensive pipeline that can take
children who we look at today and say I
don’t quite know you’re gonna have
success and have those children be the
success of tomorrow we follow up data
and what the data said was that we had
to start at birth we had to actually go
ahead and identify kids who were born
literally last night so those kids who
were born last night those are like
those are my new little edci kids right
I’m calling the money kids because those
kids are gonna have all the
interventions that their eight-year-old
counterparts might have missed some of
the early years of these kids are gonna
have everything and see for them they’re
gonna have someone who’s gonna continue
to walk with them through the ups
through the downs developing the same
grit that we expect our young folks to
have let me ask you another question how
many times does a teacher come to your
home good bad or indifferent and then I
know now you’re thinking for those of
you who had teachers come to your home
because it’s a bad you don’t want to
raise your hand and that’s okay but but
I also want you to think about this if
we’re going to work with families and
we’re going to walk with children along
this journey and we’re going to match
their level of grit we need to know what
we’re playing with what are the cards
that these kids are dealt and then how
do we go ahead and lay out the game plan
for children to have success so we have
what we call parent advocates see there
that link between parent teacher and
child we have them in early childhood we
have an elementary school we even have a
youth advocate in in in middle school
but what they do is and is really simple
their goal is to make sure that your
child is ready to learn tomorrow morning
regardless to whether you had heat hot
water whether the cops were knocking
next door
it doesn’t matter can we have your child
ready to learn tomorrow so we can walk
along this journey
you know these next couple of slides I
calmly show me the money slides because
you know I talk to folks all the time
they hear about this concept this edci
concept they they see kids as we take
them out and we show them kids in camp
we show them kids in schools and they
say David does this really work or is
this really just show-and-tell
it is this reality you know through four
years we grab a thousand kids keep about
600 of them active but what we figured
out is that if kids are involved in
three or more IDI Sam related
interventions guess what their academic
up ticks I’m actually doing better you
see what I didn’t tell you was we chose
this zone because it had the highest
rates of crime had the highest rates of
teen pregnancy substance abuse childhood
abuse and neglect had the lowest
performing elementary school middle
school in high school guess what it’s no
longer the lowest performing Elementary
School it’s not anything that a DCI does
but this is what this continuum does
when you bring together all of these
high quality evidence-based
interventions back from Durham and you
get them thinking along one line which
says we will match determination and
grit of the kids and families that we
work with so we create this model and we
create a model that really in theory
should be scalable and it should be
replicatable we should be able to pick
it up and drop it in any other part of
Durham that that needs it we should be
able to pick it up and drop it in any
other part of the triangle or the
country for that matter that is similar
to Durham with similar sights challenges
but also with similar sizes resources
which every community has and create
this pipeline as we work to create an
ecosystem that holds children and
families together really really really
close matching their grit matching their
determination and walking with them
along this journey you know is that good
to make success but what we know is that
if kids are sick they don’t get to
school we also know that if kids are
hungry they don’t sit down in class and
so as we think about this this is about
creating comprehensive interventions
that are gonna work with kids yes kids
have to be able to perform an integrate
s they have to be able to have at least
a year’s worth of growth over the course
of the school year if not more but there
are all these other intangibles that
make for successful children back within
a successful community and that’s the
other side of this work so now as I
leave you and you’re going to go home
this evening you’re gonna think about
all the wonderful TED talk speakers that
you heard you’re gonna say oh my this
was just fabulous and when do we do it
again when do we get to sit here listen
to all these wonderful folks just talk
about all these things which is so
important to our lives I want you to
stop but I want you to begin to ask
yourself the question who are you
refusing to allow to fail
[Applause]
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