[Music]
twenty-one people were massacred at my
favorite restaurant in Kabul Afghanistan
and all I could think about was
chocolate cake it was in that moment
that changed the way that I thought
about humanity and food now I first
arrived in in Kabul in 2006 to work with
the local Afghan disability organization
now I had worked in international
development for the past 20 years all
over the world focusing mainly on
disability programs for people with
disabilities as a technical adviser and
while I’d worked all over the world
Afghanistan was the first war zone that
I’d ever worked in while it was a
challenge working with security
restrictions and limited movement and
suicide bombers and attacks Afghanistan
got under my skin in a good way and I
would work there for six years I
remember the first time that I ate at
the Taverna it was about a month after I
arrived in country and after walking
past the two guards and through the
metal doors I was greeted by Kamal the
Lebanese owner now Kamal was about
average height
he had salt-and-pepper hair and a thin
trim little mustache his rimless glasses
disappeared into his face when he
laughed or smiled which was often I
ordered a falafel sandwich and french
fries which quickly became my favourite
meal and I would eat at the Taverna at
least a couple of times a week but my
favorite part of the meal was at the end
of every meal at Kamal’s restaurant we
received a free slice of chocolate cake
now this chocolate cake was the best
chocolate cake in Kabul and I am not
kidding it was amazing and it reminded
me
of Betty Crocker you know what I’m
talking about it was really really moist
it has that that gooey chocolate
frosting on the top that sticks to your
fork when you dig into it despite living
in a challenging environment eating that
slice of chocolate cake was like eating
a little slice of love and then
terrorism hit the dining room a suicide
bomber detonated his vest in front of
the restaurant while two others stormed
the restaurant and killed all 21 diners
in the restaurant including Kamal he
died defending the restaurant and the
patrons that he loved so much I returned
to the Taverna a couple of days after
the attack to lay flowers and as I stood
in front of the building thinking about
all of the meals that I’d had there the
going-away dinner that I had the
business lunches and Kamal and those
Afghans and expatriates who were
senselessly murdered I was grieving and
I was heartbroken because no longer was
sharing a meal with strangers an
innocent thing it was now tainted by
blood and hatred in the last three years
that I lived in Kabul I planted a garden
behind the high walls and razor wire of
my compound now I planted this garden
for purely selfish reasons I wanted my
collard greens I figured if I was gonna
live in a war zone girl was gonna have
her greens so with what my guards Ali
and ha leaked like to call foreigner
seeds I planted in addition to the
collards Swiss chard kale mustard greens
a bunch of different lettuces and a
whole variety of herbs no I’d never
planted a garden before I always killed
every plant I ever had including cactus
so I planted everything at once now I
don’t know what was in that soil in my
compound but everything came up
all at once so here I am with all of
this produce not quite sure what to do
with it
so I gave some to Afghan colleagues and
some to expatriates I also started
cooking for friends that evolved into
monthly get-togethers for expatriates
these gatherings were an opportunity for
us to be able to be more than just our
jobs it was an opportunity for us to
relax in this stressful environment to
tell stories to laugh and to share a
great meal it was then that I saw the
power of food and bringing people
together eating in the homes of people
like Ali and Durrani gave me an
opportunity to learn about the people
and the country through food Afghanistan
became less about the war the security
rules and suicide bombers but it became
more about the personal relationships
that I would develop eating in Afghans
homes and it didn’t matter that I was a
black American woman and it didn’t
matter that they were Afghan and Muslim
we were just human beings sharing a meal
I left Afghanistan about eight months
after the taberna attack and two years
later I moved to Charleston to become
closer to family about a month after
that I attended an event at the Gilyard
Center commemorating the one-year
anniversary of the mother Emmanuel
massacre one of the speakers at that
event was Bernice King the daughter of
slain civil rights leader Martin Luther
King jr. and she issued a challenge to
the Charleston community she challenged
Charleston to fight hate by finding ways
to love and understand each other
despite all sorts of would be dividing
factors she said go to each other’s
homes have dinner and it clicked the
minute I heard that I thought back to
the gatherings that I’d had in Kabul in
my calm
I thought back to those meals that I had
with Afghans like Ali and Durrani and I
also thought about Kamal and those other
diners in that restaurant so my first
dinner you know I wasn’t exactly sure
how this was going to go but it was an
experiment so all I knew was that I
wanted the dinners to be in a community
members home I only wanted ten people
because I wanted to make sure that these
dinners were intimate and everyone had
an opportunity to be seen and heard
I wanted international food now we all
know that food is a universal language
and in all of my work overseas food was
my way in to every community that I
worked in and it was not going to be
different here so a friend of mine
agreed to have eight strangers into her
home that they did not know I invited
eight people that had recently met that
I wanted to get to know better and
another friend connected me to a
wonderful Vietnamese woman who made a
fantastic Vietnamese meal and guess what
happened everybody talked and everybody
ate it was a really really great
experience it was just like being at a
regular dinner party except we started
as strangers and by the end of that meal
we were no strangers no more now since
that first dinner I’ve held ten dinners
in different community members homes in
all our communities beautiful diversity
all of the chefs and home cooks have
been people from different countries now
what happens at at a dinner well one of
our most recent dinners we had at a
sauna and Reshma’s house and this dinner
was an opportunity for people to ask
sensitive questions we talked about the
difference between Islam and
Christianity we talked about race we
talked about the impact of politics on
family relationships it was an
opportunity for people to ask sensitive
questions without fear
of being called racist or ignorant it
was an opportunity for people to share
their perspectives without fear of
judgment when you create space among
strangers for conversation dialogue and
connection those labels the stereotypes
the preconceived ideas and assumptions
that we often have about each other
begin to disappear we begin to see each
other’s individuality we’re no longer
Muslim were no longer african-american
were no longer white folks we are now
asan were a rest my where Kristin were
Josh we can sit around the table in all
of our individuality and yet understand
that we are all connected and
inextricably linked by the human
connection and by the power of humanity
it’s difficult to hate someone when
you’re sharing a meal imagine if this
was happening in every community in
every city town and village across the
globe we can move from hate and fear to
love compassion and empathy and we can
sit in love and connection now my
challenge for you is very simple have a
meal with a stranger it’s not that
difficult it’s not rocket science but
you have to show up you have to be
intentional you have to be brave and
courageous and most of all you have to
open your heart if we all do this we can
change the world
[Music]
twenty-one people were massacred at my
favorite restaurant in Kabul Afghanistan
and all I could think about was
chocolate cake it was in that moment
that changed the way that I thought
about humanity and food now I first
arrived in in Kabul in 2006 to work with
the local Afghan disability organization
now I had worked in international
development for the past 20 years all
over the world focusing mainly on
disability programs for people with
disabilities as a technical adviser and
while I’d worked all over the world
Afghanistan was the first war zone that
I’d ever worked in while it was a
challenge working with security
restrictions and limited movement and
suicide bombers and attacks Afghanistan
got under my skin in a good way and I
would work there for six years I
remember the first time that I ate at
the Taverna it was about a month after I
arrived in country and after walking
past the two guards and through the
metal doors I was greeted by Kamal the
Lebanese owner now Kamal was about
average height
he had salt-and-pepper hair and a thin
trim little mustache his rimless glasses
disappeared into his face when he
laughed or smiled which was often I
ordered a falafel sandwich and french
fries which quickly became my favourite
meal and I would eat at the Taverna at
least a couple of times a week but my
favorite part of the meal was at the end
of every meal at Kamal’s restaurant we
received a free slice of chocolate cake
now this chocolate cake was the best
chocolate cake in Kabul and I am not
kidding it was amazing and it reminded
me
of Betty Crocker you know what I’m
talking about it was really really moist
it has that that gooey chocolate
frosting on the top that sticks to your
fork when you dig into it despite living
in a challenging environment eating that
slice of chocolate cake was like eating
a little slice of love and then
terrorism hit the dining room a suicide
bomber detonated his vest in front of
the restaurant while two others stormed
the restaurant and killed all 21 diners
in the restaurant including Kamal he
died defending the restaurant and the
patrons that he loved so much I returned
to the Taverna a couple of days after
the attack to lay flowers and as I stood
in front of the building thinking about
all of the meals that I’d had there the
going-away dinner that I had the
business lunches and Kamal and those
Afghans and expatriates who were
senselessly murdered I was grieving and
I was heartbroken because no longer was
sharing a meal with strangers an
innocent thing it was now tainted by
blood and hatred in the last three years
that I lived in Kabul I planted a garden
behind the high walls and razor wire of
my compound now I planted this garden
for purely selfish reasons I wanted my
collard greens I figured if I was gonna
live in a war zone girl was gonna have
her greens so with what my guards Ali
and ha leaked like to call foreigner
seeds I planted in addition to the
collards Swiss chard kale mustard greens
a bunch of different lettuces and a
whole variety of herbs no I’d never
planted a garden before I always killed
every plant I ever had including cactus
so I planted everything at once now I
don’t know what was in that soil in my
compound but everything came up
all at once so here I am with all of
this produce not quite sure what to do
with it
so I gave some to Afghan colleagues and
some to expatriates I also started
cooking for friends that evolved into
monthly get-togethers for expatriates
these gatherings were an opportunity for
us to be able to be more than just our
jobs it was an opportunity for us to
relax in this stressful environment to
tell stories to laugh and to share a
great meal it was then that I saw the
power of food and bringing people
together eating in the homes of people
like Ali and Durrani gave me an
opportunity to learn about the people
and the country through food Afghanistan
became less about the war the security
rules and suicide bombers but it became
more about the personal relationships
that I would develop eating in Afghans
homes and it didn’t matter that I was a
black American woman and it didn’t
matter that they were Afghan and Muslim
we were just human beings sharing a meal
I left Afghanistan about eight months
after the taberna attack and two years
later I moved to Charleston to become
closer to family about a month after
that I attended an event at the Gilyard
Center commemorating the one-year
anniversary of the mother Emmanuel
massacre one of the speakers at that
event was Bernice King the daughter of
slain civil rights leader Martin Luther
King jr. and she issued a challenge to
the Charleston community she challenged
Charleston to fight hate by finding ways
to love and understand each other
despite all sorts of would be dividing
factors she said go to each other’s
homes have dinner and it clicked the
minute I heard that I thought back to
the gatherings that I’d had in Kabul in
my calm
I thought back to those meals that I had
with Afghans like Ali and Durrani and I
also thought about Kamal and those other
diners in that restaurant so my first
dinner you know I wasn’t exactly sure
how this was going to go but it was an
experiment so all I knew was that I
wanted the dinners to be in a community
members home I only wanted ten people
because I wanted to make sure that these
dinners were intimate and everyone had
an opportunity to be seen and heard
I wanted international food now we all
know that food is a universal language
and in all of my work overseas food was
my way in to every community that I
worked in and it was not going to be
different here so a friend of mine
agreed to have eight strangers into her
home that they did not know I invited
eight people that had recently met that
I wanted to get to know better and
another friend connected me to a
wonderful Vietnamese woman who made a
fantastic Vietnamese meal and guess what
happened everybody talked and everybody
ate it was a really really great
experience it was just like being at a
regular dinner party except we started
as strangers and by the end of that meal
we were no strangers no more now since
that first dinner I’ve held ten dinners
in different community members homes in
all our communities beautiful diversity
all of the chefs and home cooks have
been people from different countries now
what happens at at a dinner well one of
our most recent dinners we had at a
sauna and Reshma’s house and this dinner
was an opportunity for people to ask
sensitive questions we talked about the
difference between Islam and
Christianity we talked about race we
talked about the impact of politics on
family relationships it was an
opportunity for people to ask sensitive
questions without fear
of being called racist or ignorant it
was an opportunity for people to share
their perspectives without fear of
judgment when you create space among
strangers for conversation dialogue and
connection those labels the stereotypes
the preconceived ideas and assumptions
that we often have about each other
begin to disappear we begin to see each
other’s individuality we’re no longer
Muslim were no longer african-american
were no longer white folks we are now
asan were a rest my where Kristin were
Josh we can sit around the table in all
of our individuality and yet understand
that we are all connected and
inextricably linked by the human
connection and by the power of humanity
it’s difficult to hate someone when
you’re sharing a meal imagine if this
was happening in every community in
every city town and village across the
globe we can move from hate and fear to
love compassion and empathy and we can
sit in love and connection now my
challenge for you is very simple have a
meal with a stranger it’s not that
difficult it’s not rocket science but
you have to show up you have to be
intentional you have to be brave and
courageous and most of all you have to
open your heart if we all do this we can
change the world
[Music]
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