is there something you want to change
any kind of change
big or small more money less wait
a new job less debt to have different
results you must change your actions but
before you can change your actions you
must first change the way you would
think and feel we are given knowledge
and information on what to think
however we are never taught how to feel
our feelings I have been through four
years of college okay five I was finding
myself four years of medical school and
three years of residency there is a lot
of knowledge in here most of it useless
with all of this knowledge I could give
you loads of information on what to eat
when to eat how much to eat what type of
exercise to do when to exercise how much
to exercise hormones in the body and
many other things related to weight loss
and weight gain however all of that
knowledge has not kept me from getting
in fat according to the National
Institutes of Health two-thirds of
Americans are overweight or obese are
the rest of you thinking this has
nothing to do with me
but ask yourself do you watch too much
TV do you drink too much alcohol do you
spend too much time on the internet or
Facebook / work / shop / gamble /
exercise perhaps you can relate to one
of these things or even something else
the one thing I’ve learned as a
physician is we all have something in my
case after a long journey I learned I
became fat by overeating shocking right
what was a little shocking was realizing
that I overate because I did not know
how to feel my feelings what does it
mean to feel your feelings how does a
person do this let’s walk through the
process first you have to take the time
to feel your feelings be aware you are
having feelings and emotions I know it
sounds funny however so much of this is
so unconscious next name your feelings
you may have to start out with is this a
good feeling or a bad feeling and then
narrow it down and get more specific
from there now explain your feelings
where is it in your body your head your
chest your stomach is it fast or slow
does it have a color is it hot or cold
is it a thumping or just a small
vibration now sit with your feelings
don’t try to buffer or dull the emotion
but move toward it don’t try to resist
just allow it to be take a deep breath
in and relax into it the reason it is
important to feel your feelings is to
then identify the thought causing those
feelings I found this to be the secret
sauce because I could change thoughts
that weren’t benefiting me but before I
could get to this point I had to feel it
name it explain it and sit with it again
I’d feel my feelings name my feelings
explain my feelings and sit with my
feelings after I started to do this I
found every time I was tired I ate every
time I was overwhelmed I ate every time
I was happy I ate every time he was
angry bored lonely sad I ate I ate I ate
through 30,000 hours of Education not
one person not a single class in school
no medical book ever taught me how to
feel my feelings and experience my
emotions without buffering so I learned
the hard way I buffer with food
I make thousands of decisions a day many
of them critical I then go home to a
husband two daughters two dogs and a cat
all vying for my attention this can be
overwhelming by eating the cookie I
could empty any emotion into the pot on
the back burner for just a moment when
the cookie was gone and the emotional
break was over the feeling that was
still there and now intensified and
dinner still had to be made this cycle
was then complicated by the frustration
of the resulting weight gain so I’d then
buffer the frustration with a cookie
because that made sense and then I would
feel self disgust and again another
cookie you see the insanity
now let’s refer back to those things I
mentioned earlier can you relate with
too much alcohol TV Facebook for every
emotion good or bad you may have tried
to ease the feeling with something and
not even realized you were avoiding your
emotions unfortunately for me my buffer
was evident for the world to see as fat
on my body over working over gambling
and over shopping may not be as evident
for others to be aware of maybe you’re
thinking my buffer is benefiting me my
career’s soaring I’m in great shape I’m
the life of the party after a few drinks
but are you enriching and improving your
overall well-being are you actually
engaging with the people who mean the
most to you after years of buffering my
brain has developed some fairly
deep-rooted habits are you thinking just
feel your feelings don’t put food in
your mouth to understand how hard this
is for me to do let’s try something grab
your pen in the corner of the paper sign
your name not in calligraphy doctor’s
signature now take your pen and place it
in your other hand
sign your name again what was once an
easy automatic mindless task now takes
considerable conscious effort and energy
this is what it’s like to no longer
buffer with food for me after overeating
for a lifetime
I realized quickly that to remove this
buffer would not be easy or automatic
now let’s refer back to the your
something again was it having that third
glass of wine buying those fabulous
shoes spending hours on the Internet
bring awareness to it in the beginning I
had to do this after I ate the cookie
because my eating habits were so
unconscious for example I would ask was
i hungry
I’d to make sure it was stomach hunger
not brain hunger brain hunger is
actually emotional eating or cravings if
the answer to the stomach hunger
question was no I would then try to name
the feeling I was avoiding I sometimes
had a hard time finding the correct word
to describe my feelings and emotions so
I did what every good mom does and every
physician hates to hear I googled it and
I now had my comprehensive list in hand
and could name any feeling or emotion
that my brain would throw at me as this
got easier I then had to find the split
second right after I had the thought but
right before the food was in my mouth
and sit with the emotion for you and
maybe the instant that you hear the
glass clinking the ice clinking the
glass for your gin and tonic the second
that the shoes are in your shopping cart
or the moment that you’re typing in your
Facebook password if you have never sat
with a feeling intentionally I’ll warn
you it does not feel like rainbows and
daisies my main emotion overwhelmed was
the color red it was erasing in my head
an uneasiness in my chest I wanting to
crawl out in my skin every time I felt
overwhelmed I dreamed of jumping in the
car blasting the radio and driving far
far away doesn’t sound terrible right
uncomfortable but not horrible then the
chatter and my brain started you should
really take a break
you would need that cookie it’ll taste
so good you deserve this we all have
that voice in our head sometimes
I wish there was a mute button of mine
this voice as logical as it sounds are
just my emotions hacking my brain now
they’ve identified the feeling and sat
with the feeling what am I left with
I’m left with not overeating and living
a truly unbuffered life I now can feel
any emotion and no it’ll be okay that
doesn’t mean I’m in the clear though
unfortunately every time I felt I had a
handle on my emotions life would throw
me a curveball like an eight-year-olds
birthday party imagine a dozen
eight-year-old girls running around
chasing each other screaming at the
bounce house parents giving pip pickup
instructions
presents everywhere the tables need to
be set and the cake needs surgery after
somebody took a finger sample then the
injuries and the boo-boo started my
typical response I’m not on call brush
it off why would that be
anxiety-producing
you guessed it I gravitated to the chip
Bowl looking back I should have been
able to predict that one needless to say
I engaged more with that chip bull than
I did with my birthday girl hindsight is
20/20 so after the party I sat down and
I described anxiety as tunnel vision
lightheadedness dry mouth tightness in
my throat palpitations in my heart what
are flies in my stomach sweaty palms
jello legs and a yellow colored heel
banana yellow in fact I practice all my
emotions and the steps that I mentioned
earlier to feeling my feelings my new
habits began to take hold like anything
the more I practice the easier it gets
you too can connect with others on a
deeper level rather than having that
glass of wine you can get more work done
rather than feeling overwhelmed you can
have more money in the bank rather than
all that extra stuff you’re really
didn’t need in the first place now I can
say I enjoy the girls running around
screaming I know I may feel anxious but
I’d rather be with these precious girls
and unbuffered than to miss out on the
joys of being a parent I know without a
doubt I will reach my healthy weight
I’ve already lost 35 pounds and I feel
great it’s not just about the weight
though I can focus like I never could
before I can control the thoughts I’m
overwhelmed I need a cookie I shouldn’t
have a cookie I really want a cookie
I don’t need a cookie I get more work
done at work rather than at home
routinely taking back four to five hours
of precious weekend time that I now get
to spend with my family as you can see
now that I can identify the feeling and
sit with the feeling I can identify the
thought causing that feeling I want to
challenge you the next time you reach
for the credit card cupcake candy crush
or captain and coke you pause feel your
feelings name your feelings explain your
feelings sit with your feelings then
identify the thought causing those
feelings imagine the results you can
have when you feel your feelings thank
you
[Applause]
[Music]
you
[Music]
any kind of change
big or small more money less wait
a new job less debt to have different
results you must change your actions but
before you can change your actions you
must first change the way you would
think and feel we are given knowledge
and information on what to think
however we are never taught how to feel
our feelings I have been through four
years of college okay five I was finding
myself four years of medical school and
three years of residency there is a lot
of knowledge in here most of it useless
with all of this knowledge I could give
you loads of information on what to eat
when to eat how much to eat what type of
exercise to do when to exercise how much
to exercise hormones in the body and
many other things related to weight loss
and weight gain however all of that
knowledge has not kept me from getting
in fat according to the National
Institutes of Health two-thirds of
Americans are overweight or obese are
the rest of you thinking this has
nothing to do with me
but ask yourself do you watch too much
TV do you drink too much alcohol do you
spend too much time on the internet or
Facebook / work / shop / gamble /
exercise perhaps you can relate to one
of these things or even something else
the one thing I’ve learned as a
physician is we all have something in my
case after a long journey I learned I
became fat by overeating shocking right
what was a little shocking was realizing
that I overate because I did not know
how to feel my feelings what does it
mean to feel your feelings how does a
person do this let’s walk through the
process first you have to take the time
to feel your feelings be aware you are
having feelings and emotions I know it
sounds funny however so much of this is
so unconscious next name your feelings
you may have to start out with is this a
good feeling or a bad feeling and then
narrow it down and get more specific
from there now explain your feelings
where is it in your body your head your
chest your stomach is it fast or slow
does it have a color is it hot or cold
is it a thumping or just a small
vibration now sit with your feelings
don’t try to buffer or dull the emotion
but move toward it don’t try to resist
just allow it to be take a deep breath
in and relax into it the reason it is
important to feel your feelings is to
then identify the thought causing those
feelings I found this to be the secret
sauce because I could change thoughts
that weren’t benefiting me but before I
could get to this point I had to feel it
name it explain it and sit with it again
I’d feel my feelings name my feelings
explain my feelings and sit with my
feelings after I started to do this I
found every time I was tired I ate every
time I was overwhelmed I ate every time
I was happy I ate every time he was
angry bored lonely sad I ate I ate I ate
through 30,000 hours of Education not
one person not a single class in school
no medical book ever taught me how to
feel my feelings and experience my
emotions without buffering so I learned
the hard way I buffer with food
I make thousands of decisions a day many
of them critical I then go home to a
husband two daughters two dogs and a cat
all vying for my attention this can be
overwhelming by eating the cookie I
could empty any emotion into the pot on
the back burner for just a moment when
the cookie was gone and the emotional
break was over the feeling that was
still there and now intensified and
dinner still had to be made this cycle
was then complicated by the frustration
of the resulting weight gain so I’d then
buffer the frustration with a cookie
because that made sense and then I would
feel self disgust and again another
cookie you see the insanity
now let’s refer back to those things I
mentioned earlier can you relate with
too much alcohol TV Facebook for every
emotion good or bad you may have tried
to ease the feeling with something and
not even realized you were avoiding your
emotions unfortunately for me my buffer
was evident for the world to see as fat
on my body over working over gambling
and over shopping may not be as evident
for others to be aware of maybe you’re
thinking my buffer is benefiting me my
career’s soaring I’m in great shape I’m
the life of the party after a few drinks
but are you enriching and improving your
overall well-being are you actually
engaging with the people who mean the
most to you after years of buffering my
brain has developed some fairly
deep-rooted habits are you thinking just
feel your feelings don’t put food in
your mouth to understand how hard this
is for me to do let’s try something grab
your pen in the corner of the paper sign
your name not in calligraphy doctor’s
signature now take your pen and place it
in your other hand
sign your name again what was once an
easy automatic mindless task now takes
considerable conscious effort and energy
this is what it’s like to no longer
buffer with food for me after overeating
for a lifetime
I realized quickly that to remove this
buffer would not be easy or automatic
now let’s refer back to the your
something again was it having that third
glass of wine buying those fabulous
shoes spending hours on the Internet
bring awareness to it in the beginning I
had to do this after I ate the cookie
because my eating habits were so
unconscious for example I would ask was
i hungry
I’d to make sure it was stomach hunger
not brain hunger brain hunger is
actually emotional eating or cravings if
the answer to the stomach hunger
question was no I would then try to name
the feeling I was avoiding I sometimes
had a hard time finding the correct word
to describe my feelings and emotions so
I did what every good mom does and every
physician hates to hear I googled it and
I now had my comprehensive list in hand
and could name any feeling or emotion
that my brain would throw at me as this
got easier I then had to find the split
second right after I had the thought but
right before the food was in my mouth
and sit with the emotion for you and
maybe the instant that you hear the
glass clinking the ice clinking the
glass for your gin and tonic the second
that the shoes are in your shopping cart
or the moment that you’re typing in your
Facebook password if you have never sat
with a feeling intentionally I’ll warn
you it does not feel like rainbows and
daisies my main emotion overwhelmed was
the color red it was erasing in my head
an uneasiness in my chest I wanting to
crawl out in my skin every time I felt
overwhelmed I dreamed of jumping in the
car blasting the radio and driving far
far away doesn’t sound terrible right
uncomfortable but not horrible then the
chatter and my brain started you should
really take a break
you would need that cookie it’ll taste
so good you deserve this we all have
that voice in our head sometimes
I wish there was a mute button of mine
this voice as logical as it sounds are
just my emotions hacking my brain now
they’ve identified the feeling and sat
with the feeling what am I left with
I’m left with not overeating and living
a truly unbuffered life I now can feel
any emotion and no it’ll be okay that
doesn’t mean I’m in the clear though
unfortunately every time I felt I had a
handle on my emotions life would throw
me a curveball like an eight-year-olds
birthday party imagine a dozen
eight-year-old girls running around
chasing each other screaming at the
bounce house parents giving pip pickup
instructions
presents everywhere the tables need to
be set and the cake needs surgery after
somebody took a finger sample then the
injuries and the boo-boo started my
typical response I’m not on call brush
it off why would that be
anxiety-producing
you guessed it I gravitated to the chip
Bowl looking back I should have been
able to predict that one needless to say
I engaged more with that chip bull than
I did with my birthday girl hindsight is
20/20 so after the party I sat down and
I described anxiety as tunnel vision
lightheadedness dry mouth tightness in
my throat palpitations in my heart what
are flies in my stomach sweaty palms
jello legs and a yellow colored heel
banana yellow in fact I practice all my
emotions and the steps that I mentioned
earlier to feeling my feelings my new
habits began to take hold like anything
the more I practice the easier it gets
you too can connect with others on a
deeper level rather than having that
glass of wine you can get more work done
rather than feeling overwhelmed you can
have more money in the bank rather than
all that extra stuff you’re really
didn’t need in the first place now I can
say I enjoy the girls running around
screaming I know I may feel anxious but
I’d rather be with these precious girls
and unbuffered than to miss out on the
joys of being a parent I know without a
doubt I will reach my healthy weight
I’ve already lost 35 pounds and I feel
great it’s not just about the weight
though I can focus like I never could
before I can control the thoughts I’m
overwhelmed I need a cookie I shouldn’t
have a cookie I really want a cookie
I don’t need a cookie I get more work
done at work rather than at home
routinely taking back four to five hours
of precious weekend time that I now get
to spend with my family as you can see
now that I can identify the feeling and
sit with the feeling I can identify the
thought causing that feeling I want to
challenge you the next time you reach
for the credit card cupcake candy crush
or captain and coke you pause feel your
feelings name your feelings explain your
feelings sit with your feelings then
identify the thought causing those
feelings imagine the results you can
have when you feel your feelings thank
you
[Applause]
[Music]
you
[Music]
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