[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
all right so we now need to make a
really gigantic gear shift into thinking
about life in the corporation I hope
you’ll come with me if I asked you to
think about the corporate environment
and describe it what kind of words would
come to mind maybe stressful your kradic
political boring and probably one of the
first things that doesn’t leap to the
front of your mind is a place for
humanity to thrive and you know it’s a
real shame and it breaks my heart to see
so many people hating their jobs and one
of the biggest reasons that people hate
their jobs is because they feel like
their true real self is not welcome in
the workplace that fun interesting happy
person that you are on the weekends is
somehow not good enough or not suitable
for the work environment and you know
that personality lobotomy every Monday
morning to turn into your work
appropriate self is really really
painful doesn’t have to be that way the
idea that I want to share with you today
is that embracing Humanity in the
workplace is not only better for people
it’s better for the business
and I will describe to you my journey as
a human creating what is somewhat
unlikely corporate success in my own
career because I grew up in a very small
very rural farm town in North Jersey and
ultimately became a Silicon Valley CEO
this was not a well marked path and I
really had to find my way and there were
many points along the way where I felt
tremendous pressure to conform to the
environment and people would tell me you
know Patty corporations are nasty
competitive places so if you want to
succeed you need to be that way too and
I could never do it it felt like I was
sacrificing my identity but more
importantly it felt like it was just a
bad strategy so let me start by sharing
a corporate scene that we can all
probably relate to there’s a manager
leader in a room with their team and
they say here’s a strategy here’s what
we need to do make it so go do it and
everybody nods their head now nodding
heads is not actually a good sign that
people are going to go do the thing that
you talked about people nod their heads
for all kinds of reasons you know I bet
I’ll get out of this meeting faster if I
nod my head or I actually wasn’t
listening but everybody else is nodding
their head or you know I have a real
concern about this but my ideas are
usually shot down so it’s just easier or
I totally disagree with this
but this will be much easier to sabotage
outside of this meeting so what’s
happening here is that this leader has
created a very hierarchical very closed
conversation that leaves no room for the
engagement of people let alone for their
humanity the reason that many leaders do
this is because they don’t want to hear
it right if they open up for a real
human conversation they might hear
conflict doubt disagreement dissent and
that kind of leader takes those things
as a challenge to their authority now
tragically there have been people who
have died on operating tables and planes
that have crashed because the leader was
unwilling to step outside the hierarchy
and have a human conversation with the
people who knew what was actually going
on so how do we replay this scene with
humanity well the first thing the
beautiful thing about humanity is that
it is completely independent of
hierarchy and if you want to bring
humanity in its three simple steps step
number one is you yourself need to be
willing to step out of the hierarchy and
show up as a real person step number two
is this human conversation and it only
takes four words those words are what do
you think and then the third step is
that you have to be genuinely interested
in listening to the answer and so let me
rate replay the scene how this works
with
my teams so get in that same room as the
leader I say here’s the strategy here’s
what we need to go do but then I step
outside of the hierarchy and I say but I
don’t have all the answers what do you
think what do we collectively think what
about this scares us what do we think
the hard part is going to be is there
anything we feel like we’re not ready
for what do you think now of course if
you open up this human conversation
you’re bound to get some conflict you’re
bound to get some doubts and
disagreements but seriously wouldn’t you
rather know right in that conflict is
the humanity in that conflict people are
telling you their truth and they are
giving you the information that you need
to actually go forward and get the thing
done instead of just being satisfied
with the head nodding and moving forward
without that information for a stall or
crash I learned this lesson initially
when I started my first big executive
job with multiple levels of management
underneath me and frankly I was
terrified that was like a big new
terrifying job and I talked to a mentor
and I said I’m not sure I know what to
do and he gave me some life-changing
advice and he said Patti talk to
everyone and you’ll know what to do and
so without that advice I probably would
have been stuck in the hierarchy and I
would have only talked to my direct
reports but
sted I scheduled a hundred one-on-one
meetings for my first two weeks on the
job and in every single one of those
meetings I stepped outside the hierarchy
and I had a human to human conversation
and I said what do you think I’m new
here what do you need me to know what do
you think is important what do you think
is working and not working what do we
need to do differently what do you think
and after that I realized that the most
critical most important information in
an organization is hidden it’s invisible
and the only way to uncover that
information is by having authentic
conversations independent of hierarchy
with the people that know what’s going
on and the only way to have those
authentic conversations is to show up
yourself as a real person and ask what
do you think and care about the answer
so people feel safe to tell you the
truth and I tell you at the end of those
hundred one-on-one meetings I felt like
I had a superpower not only did I know
what to do but I had a hundred people
who were motivated to help me go do it
because I had respected their humanity
and I was looking at my peers who
weren’t talking to everybody who weren’t
doing this who were trying to act like
big shots and they were just shooting in
the dark now you may be sitting there
thinking well Patti in those examples
you were in charge so you could do
whatever you want that’s not the hard
part the hard part is when your
management is torturing you and so let
me
share with you how I use this same
humanity based approach when I was
getting unreasonable pressure from my
management this normally came about when
I would present a business plan and the
board the executives they would say
that’s not good enough
and we need a bigger revenue number by
the end of the year you need to hit this
bigger revenue number and in my bones I
knew that was impossible and so I said
to them that is not possible and at that
point they said well if you can’t do it
we’ll just put someone in the role who
can and so at this point I had a choice
to make
I could cave in to the pressure sign up
for the number and then get fired for
not delivering it or I could stick with
the truth which was this is impossible
and I could get fired or I could try
this humanity thing and maybe it’s a
result of my small-town upbringing but I
didn’t have any any corporate ninja
power political moves to bring to play
in moments like this let’s face it I
only had the one move and that was show
up as a human show up as a real person
and have an honest conversation and so I
would say to them I understand why you
need that number
and I agreed I bet you can get any
number of people who can tell you that
they will deliver that number but I
seriously doubt that they can because I
have really studied this but please tell
me what do you think what do you think
that I’m missing here what do you think
is the different thing that’s going to
happen if you put another person in this
job what do you think and I can tell you
I have never lost a job over this and in
fact pretty much that exact conversation
is what got me two of the biggest
promotions in my career because if you
are willing to show up as a real person
and tap into this invisible hidden
information about what’s really going on
it creates a tremendous amount of
confidence and credibility and I can
remember there was a moment there was a
specific moment in my career where I
decided that I was going to show up at
work as my true authentic self and I was
going to let go of all the fear of the
things that I’m not good enough that
fear at work of I’m not good enough
drains a lot of energy and once I
decided to show up as myself and say
that’s good enough that’s when my career
took its biggest leap forward and the
other interesting thing about that is
about six months after that I was having
lunch with my mom and my sister and my
mom said to me you know Patti it seems
it seems really weird but it seems like
you actually like your job now and and
for me being willing to just be a real
person be my true self and stick to it
was how I navigated that path from small
town to Silicon Valley CEO so what I’d
like to leave you with is that you don’t
have to conform if you don’t want to and
in fact if you are willing to show up as
your real self and respect the humanity
of others
you will actually be at your most
powerful and most credible and while we
can all think of some narcissistic
egomaniac assholes that have had
tremendous success in business you don’t
have to be that way if you don’t want to
what do you think
you
[Applause]
[Music]
all right so we now need to make a
really gigantic gear shift into thinking
about life in the corporation I hope
you’ll come with me if I asked you to
think about the corporate environment
and describe it what kind of words would
come to mind maybe stressful your kradic
political boring and probably one of the
first things that doesn’t leap to the
front of your mind is a place for
humanity to thrive and you know it’s a
real shame and it breaks my heart to see
so many people hating their jobs and one
of the biggest reasons that people hate
their jobs is because they feel like
their true real self is not welcome in
the workplace that fun interesting happy
person that you are on the weekends is
somehow not good enough or not suitable
for the work environment and you know
that personality lobotomy every Monday
morning to turn into your work
appropriate self is really really
painful doesn’t have to be that way the
idea that I want to share with you today
is that embracing Humanity in the
workplace is not only better for people
it’s better for the business
and I will describe to you my journey as
a human creating what is somewhat
unlikely corporate success in my own
career because I grew up in a very small
very rural farm town in North Jersey and
ultimately became a Silicon Valley CEO
this was not a well marked path and I
really had to find my way and there were
many points along the way where I felt
tremendous pressure to conform to the
environment and people would tell me you
know Patty corporations are nasty
competitive places so if you want to
succeed you need to be that way too and
I could never do it it felt like I was
sacrificing my identity but more
importantly it felt like it was just a
bad strategy so let me start by sharing
a corporate scene that we can all
probably relate to there’s a manager
leader in a room with their team and
they say here’s a strategy here’s what
we need to do make it so go do it and
everybody nods their head now nodding
heads is not actually a good sign that
people are going to go do the thing that
you talked about people nod their heads
for all kinds of reasons you know I bet
I’ll get out of this meeting faster if I
nod my head or I actually wasn’t
listening but everybody else is nodding
their head or you know I have a real
concern about this but my ideas are
usually shot down so it’s just easier or
I totally disagree with this
but this will be much easier to sabotage
outside of this meeting so what’s
happening here is that this leader has
created a very hierarchical very closed
conversation that leaves no room for the
engagement of people let alone for their
humanity the reason that many leaders do
this is because they don’t want to hear
it right if they open up for a real
human conversation they might hear
conflict doubt disagreement dissent and
that kind of leader takes those things
as a challenge to their authority now
tragically there have been people who
have died on operating tables and planes
that have crashed because the leader was
unwilling to step outside the hierarchy
and have a human conversation with the
people who knew what was actually going
on so how do we replay this scene with
humanity well the first thing the
beautiful thing about humanity is that
it is completely independent of
hierarchy and if you want to bring
humanity in its three simple steps step
number one is you yourself need to be
willing to step out of the hierarchy and
show up as a real person step number two
is this human conversation and it only
takes four words those words are what do
you think and then the third step is
that you have to be genuinely interested
in listening to the answer and so let me
rate replay the scene how this works
with
my teams so get in that same room as the
leader I say here’s the strategy here’s
what we need to go do but then I step
outside of the hierarchy and I say but I
don’t have all the answers what do you
think what do we collectively think what
about this scares us what do we think
the hard part is going to be is there
anything we feel like we’re not ready
for what do you think now of course if
you open up this human conversation
you’re bound to get some conflict you’re
bound to get some doubts and
disagreements but seriously wouldn’t you
rather know right in that conflict is
the humanity in that conflict people are
telling you their truth and they are
giving you the information that you need
to actually go forward and get the thing
done instead of just being satisfied
with the head nodding and moving forward
without that information for a stall or
crash I learned this lesson initially
when I started my first big executive
job with multiple levels of management
underneath me and frankly I was
terrified that was like a big new
terrifying job and I talked to a mentor
and I said I’m not sure I know what to
do and he gave me some life-changing
advice and he said Patti talk to
everyone and you’ll know what to do and
so without that advice I probably would
have been stuck in the hierarchy and I
would have only talked to my direct
reports but
sted I scheduled a hundred one-on-one
meetings for my first two weeks on the
job and in every single one of those
meetings I stepped outside the hierarchy
and I had a human to human conversation
and I said what do you think I’m new
here what do you need me to know what do
you think is important what do you think
is working and not working what do we
need to do differently what do you think
and after that I realized that the most
critical most important information in
an organization is hidden it’s invisible
and the only way to uncover that
information is by having authentic
conversations independent of hierarchy
with the people that know what’s going
on and the only way to have those
authentic conversations is to show up
yourself as a real person and ask what
do you think and care about the answer
so people feel safe to tell you the
truth and I tell you at the end of those
hundred one-on-one meetings I felt like
I had a superpower not only did I know
what to do but I had a hundred people
who were motivated to help me go do it
because I had respected their humanity
and I was looking at my peers who
weren’t talking to everybody who weren’t
doing this who were trying to act like
big shots and they were just shooting in
the dark now you may be sitting there
thinking well Patti in those examples
you were in charge so you could do
whatever you want that’s not the hard
part the hard part is when your
management is torturing you and so let
me
share with you how I use this same
humanity based approach when I was
getting unreasonable pressure from my
management this normally came about when
I would present a business plan and the
board the executives they would say
that’s not good enough
and we need a bigger revenue number by
the end of the year you need to hit this
bigger revenue number and in my bones I
knew that was impossible and so I said
to them that is not possible and at that
point they said well if you can’t do it
we’ll just put someone in the role who
can and so at this point I had a choice
to make
I could cave in to the pressure sign up
for the number and then get fired for
not delivering it or I could stick with
the truth which was this is impossible
and I could get fired or I could try
this humanity thing and maybe it’s a
result of my small-town upbringing but I
didn’t have any any corporate ninja
power political moves to bring to play
in moments like this let’s face it I
only had the one move and that was show
up as a human show up as a real person
and have an honest conversation and so I
would say to them I understand why you
need that number
and I agreed I bet you can get any
number of people who can tell you that
they will deliver that number but I
seriously doubt that they can because I
have really studied this but please tell
me what do you think what do you think
that I’m missing here what do you think
is the different thing that’s going to
happen if you put another person in this
job what do you think and I can tell you
I have never lost a job over this and in
fact pretty much that exact conversation
is what got me two of the biggest
promotions in my career because if you
are willing to show up as a real person
and tap into this invisible hidden
information about what’s really going on
it creates a tremendous amount of
confidence and credibility and I can
remember there was a moment there was a
specific moment in my career where I
decided that I was going to show up at
work as my true authentic self and I was
going to let go of all the fear of the
things that I’m not good enough that
fear at work of I’m not good enough
drains a lot of energy and once I
decided to show up as myself and say
that’s good enough that’s when my career
took its biggest leap forward and the
other interesting thing about that is
about six months after that I was having
lunch with my mom and my sister and my
mom said to me you know Patti it seems
it seems really weird but it seems like
you actually like your job now and and
for me being willing to just be a real
person be my true self and stick to it
was how I navigated that path from small
town to Silicon Valley CEO so what I’d
like to leave you with is that you don’t
have to conform if you don’t want to and
in fact if you are willing to show up as
your real self and respect the humanity
of others
you will actually be at your most
powerful and most credible and while we
can all think of some narcissistic
egomaniac assholes that have had
tremendous success in business you don’t
have to be that way if you don’t want to
what do you think
you
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