you
I was raped
kidnapped and raped for 10 days the
first person I spoke to do not believe
me worse he blamed it on me and worse
even he too raped me
I screamed I screamed in agony as he
touched me that’s when he said oh it’s
what you told me was true it did not
stop him and I froze my mind escaped my
broken helpless body and did not return
a tuck these fragments of horror away
told no one and carried on in Oblivion
and stubborn denial but my body did not
allow this lie a suffered on sets of
agonizing pain in my abdomen and back
the pressure was so intense they tore my
muscles and are often passed out I was
vomiting acidic screams screams so
desperate to be heard they came out
accompanied by streams of blood my
physical self was screaming with its own
means what I was not expressing with
words how could I on my first attempt
are communicating what had happened to
me I was put through the same horror our
culture normalizes abuse of power my
story bears witness to a global societal
problem that is that we as a society
maintain silence on issues that are too
hard to bear and it is not because they
are foreign and uncommon but
specifically because they are pervasive
in the coup right here right now and we
don’t know what to do about it
I believe we should start by breaking
the silence speaking out
in listening the first step to solving
any issue is to acknowledge is there in
the first place right so this is what
I’m here to do today
the what I would like to talk about
today is not sexual assault not any one
form of extreme violence but the very
consequence of such violence trauma
having an inner experience of trauma it
seemed clearer how to use this
invaluable perspective in my practice so
I drew for my personal insight delved
into fascinating research on the
neuroscience of trauma and looked at the
healing opportunities that lie within
creativity that’s how my work on trauma
started I’m now developing a trauma
focused movement language which is a
means of communicating that is in
contrary to the mechanisms of trauma
the aim is both to help survivors heal
and be heard so what is trauma trauma is
the loss of inter and intra relational
safety the loss of inter and intra
relational safety it may be called PTSD
post traumatic stress disorder or
complex PTSD depending on the context
and duration of the events so for
example someone who has been raped is
likely to develop PTSD well someone who
has experienced repetitive sexual abuse
is likely to develop complex PTSD there
is also a call for a diagnosis
developmental trauma as those who
experience repetitive abuse or neglect
in their childhood present a broader set
of symptoms extreme violence can be
traumatic for those who whose integrity
is at risk and those who witness such
harm traumatic experiences can take many
forms but they differ from other
difficult experiences by the magnitude
of the shock on mind brain and body this
shock is the trauma
however horrendous the traumatic events
it is the trauma is the most devastating
those suffering are often told the in
famous expression
it’s all in your head meaning it’s not
real well I would like to point out the
irony of this expression trauma creeps
into the very fabric of your brain so
much so that your brain is rewired and
the entirety of the organism is affected
so yes it is in your head but it is real
how does it work imagine instead of it
being me on state comes in a very hungry
grizzly bear the alarm bells in all of
your brains ring the limbic system is
activated the amygdala sets the body
stress response in motion stress
hormones and nerve impulses flood your
bodies your blood pressure increases
your oxygen intake increases your heart
rate increases your muscles tense you’re
ready to fight the bear flee from the
bear with neither a possible freeze as
soon as the bear goes away safety is
signaled the whole system goes back to
normal and you’re back to feeling all of
your normal sensations
maybe that bear that your fancy this
system is built to respond to threat and
it is functional so as long as it works
so as long as it remains a momentary
state and not a continuous one in trauma
this system fails it fails to rebalance
after the threat has passed the violence
has gone but the fight flight freeze
responses are sustained and this has
huge consequences you can be in acute
stress whilst a bear is present because
that’s what’s allowing you to protect
yourself but you can’t be an acute
stress every minute of the day as if the
bear was continuously behind you imagine
imagine going about your daily lives and
having a grizzly bear behind you at
every moment it doesn’t seem very
feasible does it that’s how a tormentors
per
and lives in hyperarousal alert on god
constantly fighting the never-ending
threat of the bear behind them it’s not
just a beer that they can’t think about
in that context is their entire lives
they can’t engage with the whole nervous
system is reorganized there’s a division
between the two halves of the brain
while the right hemisphere is activated
the left is deactivated the left is the
rational brain which is responsible for
communicating thoughts feelings and
perceptions through language this devil
is directly hinted and the data gathered
from the different different senses
cannot be dealt with by the appropriate
areas of the brain which means that they
are stored outside of the
autobiographical narrative as frozen
timeless and unprocessed fragments of
memory this means that if you are
traumatized and your reminder of the
past you do not remember you
re-experience
from your brains perspective the
violence is present all the
physiological reactions occur as if the
violence was happening in present time
powerful smells images sounds even
physical sensations are relived
unchanged by time this is what we call
flashbacks or vivid nightmares according
to a leading survey lifetime exposure to
potentially traumatic events ranges from
50 to 90 percent of a population trauma
is not rare it is not for rain it is
right here right now and we are all
impacted adults and children look around
you look around you every person in this
room and imagine everyone is a child and
the 15 years of age everyone
and now picture three rooms like this
one this is the number of premature
deaths due to child maltreatment every
year in Europe the figures of the World
Health Organization suggest that there
are 18 million children who suffer from
sexual abuse 44 million from physical
abuse and 55 million from mental abuse
in Europe it has been described as a
hidden epidemic it is a product of
social cultural economical and
biological factors it has a societal
cost that runs into billions of euros we
need open and honest dialogues about
this issue they are amazing and
courageous people out there backing to
prevent and heal trauma there are
experts who push the boundaries of
medical research clinicians who
understand the limitations of current
practices and dare to go beyond the
traditional therapies to develop truly
effective treatments for survivors
practitioners who worked with an
uncompromised understanding of trauma
but their efforts alone are insufficient
the process of researchers findings
being clinically tested before being
integrated in official textbooks and
ended in academia to finally have an
impact on public knowledge is
agonizingly slow meantime people are
suffering these stages are required but
if we met them halfway
educating from the ground up we would
help more people and save more lives you
cannot live with trauma you survive and
some don’t
approximately 5000 veterans commit
suicide per year in the US alone as a
result of trauma and combat is by far
not the main cause of trauma abuse is
so why is most readily available
information on trauma about veterans it
is almost as if the world can accept a
soldier coming back from a foreign war
might be traumatized but the when war is
home in the form of a rape for example
it is not validated maintaining such a
bias and public knowledge is dangerous
it is time we moved past dad’s trauma
isn’t just wearing army uniforms in most
cases its ordinary clothing I can still
feel the pressure of the leather belt
around my neck and the shiver down my
spine as I’m about to step off the chair
someone was there for me my life was
saved that day I made a promise to heal
accepting my trauma and accepting I was
worthy of healing was far harder than
accepting the suffering my journey to
live was difficult but I am standing
here today I can now be the someone for
another person in need you can be the
someone we can be the someone we can be
the community that supports survivors if
we have the courage to acknowledge
trauma and break the silence in stigma
those suffering a worthy of accepting
the trauma and they are worthy of
healing and living we are all worthy of
a society that values our individual
experiences we are all worthy of a
society in which we strive we are all
worthy of being the happy generation
you
I was raped
kidnapped and raped for 10 days the
first person I spoke to do not believe
me worse he blamed it on me and worse
even he too raped me
I screamed I screamed in agony as he
touched me that’s when he said oh it’s
what you told me was true it did not
stop him and I froze my mind escaped my
broken helpless body and did not return
a tuck these fragments of horror away
told no one and carried on in Oblivion
and stubborn denial but my body did not
allow this lie a suffered on sets of
agonizing pain in my abdomen and back
the pressure was so intense they tore my
muscles and are often passed out I was
vomiting acidic screams screams so
desperate to be heard they came out
accompanied by streams of blood my
physical self was screaming with its own
means what I was not expressing with
words how could I on my first attempt
are communicating what had happened to
me I was put through the same horror our
culture normalizes abuse of power my
story bears witness to a global societal
problem that is that we as a society
maintain silence on issues that are too
hard to bear and it is not because they
are foreign and uncommon but
specifically because they are pervasive
in the coup right here right now and we
don’t know what to do about it
I believe we should start by breaking
the silence speaking out
in listening the first step to solving
any issue is to acknowledge is there in
the first place right so this is what
I’m here to do today
the what I would like to talk about
today is not sexual assault not any one
form of extreme violence but the very
consequence of such violence trauma
having an inner experience of trauma it
seemed clearer how to use this
invaluable perspective in my practice so
I drew for my personal insight delved
into fascinating research on the
neuroscience of trauma and looked at the
healing opportunities that lie within
creativity that’s how my work on trauma
started I’m now developing a trauma
focused movement language which is a
means of communicating that is in
contrary to the mechanisms of trauma
the aim is both to help survivors heal
and be heard so what is trauma trauma is
the loss of inter and intra relational
safety the loss of inter and intra
relational safety it may be called PTSD
post traumatic stress disorder or
complex PTSD depending on the context
and duration of the events so for
example someone who has been raped is
likely to develop PTSD well someone who
has experienced repetitive sexual abuse
is likely to develop complex PTSD there
is also a call for a diagnosis
developmental trauma as those who
experience repetitive abuse or neglect
in their childhood present a broader set
of symptoms extreme violence can be
traumatic for those who whose integrity
is at risk and those who witness such
harm traumatic experiences can take many
forms but they differ from other
difficult experiences by the magnitude
of the shock on mind brain and body this
shock is the trauma
however horrendous the traumatic events
it is the trauma is the most devastating
those suffering are often told the in
famous expression
it’s all in your head meaning it’s not
real well I would like to point out the
irony of this expression trauma creeps
into the very fabric of your brain so
much so that your brain is rewired and
the entirety of the organism is affected
so yes it is in your head but it is real
how does it work imagine instead of it
being me on state comes in a very hungry
grizzly bear the alarm bells in all of
your brains ring the limbic system is
activated the amygdala sets the body
stress response in motion stress
hormones and nerve impulses flood your
bodies your blood pressure increases
your oxygen intake increases your heart
rate increases your muscles tense you’re
ready to fight the bear flee from the
bear with neither a possible freeze as
soon as the bear goes away safety is
signaled the whole system goes back to
normal and you’re back to feeling all of
your normal sensations
maybe that bear that your fancy this
system is built to respond to threat and
it is functional so as long as it works
so as long as it remains a momentary
state and not a continuous one in trauma
this system fails it fails to rebalance
after the threat has passed the violence
has gone but the fight flight freeze
responses are sustained and this has
huge consequences you can be in acute
stress whilst a bear is present because
that’s what’s allowing you to protect
yourself but you can’t be an acute
stress every minute of the day as if the
bear was continuously behind you imagine
imagine going about your daily lives and
having a grizzly bear behind you at
every moment it doesn’t seem very
feasible does it that’s how a tormentors
per
and lives in hyperarousal alert on god
constantly fighting the never-ending
threat of the bear behind them it’s not
just a beer that they can’t think about
in that context is their entire lives
they can’t engage with the whole nervous
system is reorganized there’s a division
between the two halves of the brain
while the right hemisphere is activated
the left is deactivated the left is the
rational brain which is responsible for
communicating thoughts feelings and
perceptions through language this devil
is directly hinted and the data gathered
from the different different senses
cannot be dealt with by the appropriate
areas of the brain which means that they
are stored outside of the
autobiographical narrative as frozen
timeless and unprocessed fragments of
memory this means that if you are
traumatized and your reminder of the
past you do not remember you
re-experience
from your brains perspective the
violence is present all the
physiological reactions occur as if the
violence was happening in present time
powerful smells images sounds even
physical sensations are relived
unchanged by time this is what we call
flashbacks or vivid nightmares according
to a leading survey lifetime exposure to
potentially traumatic events ranges from
50 to 90 percent of a population trauma
is not rare it is not for rain it is
right here right now and we are all
impacted adults and children look around
you look around you every person in this
room and imagine everyone is a child and
the 15 years of age everyone
and now picture three rooms like this
one this is the number of premature
deaths due to child maltreatment every
year in Europe the figures of the World
Health Organization suggest that there
are 18 million children who suffer from
sexual abuse 44 million from physical
abuse and 55 million from mental abuse
in Europe it has been described as a
hidden epidemic it is a product of
social cultural economical and
biological factors it has a societal
cost that runs into billions of euros we
need open and honest dialogues about
this issue they are amazing and
courageous people out there backing to
prevent and heal trauma there are
experts who push the boundaries of
medical research clinicians who
understand the limitations of current
practices and dare to go beyond the
traditional therapies to develop truly
effective treatments for survivors
practitioners who worked with an
uncompromised understanding of trauma
but their efforts alone are insufficient
the process of researchers findings
being clinically tested before being
integrated in official textbooks and
ended in academia to finally have an
impact on public knowledge is
agonizingly slow meantime people are
suffering these stages are required but
if we met them halfway
educating from the ground up we would
help more people and save more lives you
cannot live with trauma you survive and
some don’t
approximately 5000 veterans commit
suicide per year in the US alone as a
result of trauma and combat is by far
not the main cause of trauma abuse is
so why is most readily available
information on trauma about veterans it
is almost as if the world can accept a
soldier coming back from a foreign war
might be traumatized but the when war is
home in the form of a rape for example
it is not validated maintaining such a
bias and public knowledge is dangerous
it is time we moved past dad’s trauma
isn’t just wearing army uniforms in most
cases its ordinary clothing I can still
feel the pressure of the leather belt
around my neck and the shiver down my
spine as I’m about to step off the chair
someone was there for me my life was
saved that day I made a promise to heal
accepting my trauma and accepting I was
worthy of healing was far harder than
accepting the suffering my journey to
live was difficult but I am standing
here today I can now be the someone for
another person in need you can be the
someone we can be the someone we can be
the community that supports survivors if
we have the courage to acknowledge
trauma and break the silence in stigma
those suffering a worthy of accepting
the trauma and they are worthy of
healing and living we are all worthy of
a society that values our individual
experiences we are all worthy of a
society in which we strive we are all
worthy of being the happy generation
you
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