[Music]
am I the only one that gets annoyed at
your parents when you’re trying to prove
a point
like the point is right here and they’re
just dodging it well my father is the
kind of dad who thinks he knows a little
bit about everything so to him that
means he knows everything and we would
have discussions conversations and I say
they’re kind of like heated debates
because we would get into it like we
would talk about relationships work
religion sometimes I put too much
seasoning in the food you talk about
everything and he would speak over me he
would dismiss my feelings or you know
he’d even get like an insensitive remark
and it bothered me a lot he would chalk
it up to well I lived longer than you so
therefore I know what I’m talking about
really daddy’s really like come on does
your dad know everything does your
parents know everything do you know
someone your family that knows
everything do you see how annoyed I am
like that’s my father look at it come on
come on
so I decided you know I’m gonna have my
own catchphrase so it was the same old
routine we’re in a heated discussion he
is going in and I look him dead in the
eyes and I said
well father well you’re not emotionally
intelligent enough to understand where
I’m coming from
anyways boom I drop explosion scene it’s
a rap like I just knew that’s how I
could win debates with my dad and um
honestly I’ve been using the term EQ and
emotional intelligence loosely cuz I
would like call up my girlfriends and I
would say like oh you know my boyfriend
he is so he’s so since if you guard up
your good y-yes girl but clearly this
word meant more than just being nice or
super sensitive so I mean what does it
look like what could it possibly feel
like so I stumbled upon this video
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
help me I’m feeling I really love that
movie right away but let’s analyze what
should happen here we have the Grinch
and he basically went through a heart
attack of feelings and emotions we could
say that he became more aware and in
touch with who he you know isn’t his
feelings but EQ emotional intelligence
is not synonymous with touchy-feely
Nisour being feminine not a woman thing
it’s something that both men and women
can have or lack so not having any of it
it’s not innate so it’s not something
that only the chosen few are born with
so you know the rest of us are left to
be the lower EQ being that you know
cannot be emotionally intelligent it
also doesn’t mean that because you’re
older that automatically makes you wiser
or emotionally intelligently it don’t
work like that
but what it really is because what I
mentioned were misconceptions actually
and there are definitions based on these
misconceptions but what it really is is
you’re recognizing your emotions and the
emotions of others as well as managing
those emotions and influencing others
and using that emotional data to enhance
thought you know or enhance your skills
or even solve a problem
but how actually they say people with
good EQ are able to negotiate an
emotionally charged situation and
control and manage the emotions as all
of those of others and be able to take
over this um a situation and respond
diplomatically but really how well there
are a variety of models actually on EQ
for example ranging from knowing your
strengths and your challenges looking at
for example the way you will control and
redirect negative impulses or emotions
and adapting to those circumstances
especially when they’re changing or
there are models that you capitalize on
a person’s changing moods to enhance
thought but really emotional
intelligence is more than that it is
also something that we all have it is a
skill that we can enhance and I know
with these models that I just mentioned
is kind of like okey there’s a lot of
information and a lot of diplomats
actually believe it’s a bunch of hippy
hoopla that there are criticisms about
it
for instance they’d say stuff like with
EQ testing they have these questions
that they pose carefully they’re
carefully created but we still possess
bias so we would still choose and pick
answers that we feel the general
consensus would agree on instead of
choosing the answer that we feel
resonated the most with us and how we
really feel
they have got even so far to call it pop
psychology and say that you know it’s
been romanticized and that you know life
coaches and personal gurus have used it
as a scam of some sorts but as I said II
I emotional intelligence it’s a process
despite the criticisms and what the
diplomats say it’s a process it’s a
skill that we all can enhance even when
we’re not dealing with each other face
to face I mean we all kind of
practically live on the Internet you
know we’re always posting comments or
sending emails or texting and it could
seem pretty one-dimensional and then you
might think that oh but EQ kind of goes
out the window the way I see people
interact with each other online you know
how trolls can be online but we’re so
connected through technology we’re so
connected that we are emotionally
disconnected we would rather choose to
be offended because it’s easier as
opposed to just simply acknowledging
another person and where they’re coming
from so how can you enhance EQ simple
but I really practice empathizing it’s
easier said than done
but question yourself when you start to
notice that your your feelings and how
you’re behaving in a certain way you
start to see a pattern question is so
why am i acting with this why am I
feeling like this empathize with others
questions members wrong after why are
you feeling like this instead of just
reacting impulsively my mom used to
always say and she still says this
Victoria you need to be the bigger
person and I hate it when she says that
cuz it’s extremely hard to be the bigger
person like I don’t want you to make a
person you know if I’m right I’m right
if they’re wrong they’re wrong but what
would the world look like if we all
chose to be the bigger person and
empathize with others
we’ll certainly be a little less annoyed
at each other for sure I’m pretty sure
but you can also choose to practice
responding instead of reacting the
kicker here is that reacting is an
unconscious process while responding is
conscious because you’re involved with
how you’re feeling and then you take a
mental pause basically and you can
decide what action to take or how you
want to behave so I decided why don’t I
put this into practice myself and I
wanted to empathize with my father I
mean I’m not perfect I sometimes react
instead of responding but I wanted to
empathize with him and I thought maybe
it’s because he’s older and the world is
changing there’s more information out
there and he’s just trying to keep up to
date so whenever there’s something he
probably doesn’t know and I do know he
might act a little hostile so I thought
you know hey I’m empathizing I’m I’m
getting where he’s coming from
that was my theory and I actually
decided to ask him you know that why are
you doing me like that
you know and he responded and he said
well daughter it’s because you’re so
cute when you get upset that’s why I
really do it
really daddy like hey I can’t I can’t
win with him
I really can’t lose them but in all
seriousness we owe it to ourselves to
communicate better with each other we
carry the responsibility to manage our
feelings and those of others and also as
well influence them and acknowledge them
listen try to understand and see where
they’re coming from
because at the end of the day we’re not
always going to have people that are
going to empathize with us but we have
the choice to choose to be the bigger
person and empathize with them and I
think that that’s a big step in being
smart which is a little hard thank you
for your attention
[Applause]
[Music]
am I the only one that gets annoyed at
your parents when you’re trying to prove
a point
like the point is right here and they’re
just dodging it well my father is the
kind of dad who thinks he knows a little
bit about everything so to him that
means he knows everything and we would
have discussions conversations and I say
they’re kind of like heated debates
because we would get into it like we
would talk about relationships work
religion sometimes I put too much
seasoning in the food you talk about
everything and he would speak over me he
would dismiss my feelings or you know
he’d even get like an insensitive remark
and it bothered me a lot he would chalk
it up to well I lived longer than you so
therefore I know what I’m talking about
really daddy’s really like come on does
your dad know everything does your
parents know everything do you know
someone your family that knows
everything do you see how annoyed I am
like that’s my father look at it come on
come on
so I decided you know I’m gonna have my
own catchphrase so it was the same old
routine we’re in a heated discussion he
is going in and I look him dead in the
eyes and I said
well father well you’re not emotionally
intelligent enough to understand where
I’m coming from
anyways boom I drop explosion scene it’s
a rap like I just knew that’s how I
could win debates with my dad and um
honestly I’ve been using the term EQ and
emotional intelligence loosely cuz I
would like call up my girlfriends and I
would say like oh you know my boyfriend
he is so he’s so since if you guard up
your good y-yes girl but clearly this
word meant more than just being nice or
super sensitive so I mean what does it
look like what could it possibly feel
like so I stumbled upon this video
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
help me I’m feeling I really love that
movie right away but let’s analyze what
should happen here we have the Grinch
and he basically went through a heart
attack of feelings and emotions we could
say that he became more aware and in
touch with who he you know isn’t his
feelings but EQ emotional intelligence
is not synonymous with touchy-feely
Nisour being feminine not a woman thing
it’s something that both men and women
can have or lack so not having any of it
it’s not innate so it’s not something
that only the chosen few are born with
so you know the rest of us are left to
be the lower EQ being that you know
cannot be emotionally intelligent it
also doesn’t mean that because you’re
older that automatically makes you wiser
or emotionally intelligently it don’t
work like that
but what it really is because what I
mentioned were misconceptions actually
and there are definitions based on these
misconceptions but what it really is is
you’re recognizing your emotions and the
emotions of others as well as managing
those emotions and influencing others
and using that emotional data to enhance
thought you know or enhance your skills
or even solve a problem
but how actually they say people with
good EQ are able to negotiate an
emotionally charged situation and
control and manage the emotions as all
of those of others and be able to take
over this um a situation and respond
diplomatically but really how well there
are a variety of models actually on EQ
for example ranging from knowing your
strengths and your challenges looking at
for example the way you will control and
redirect negative impulses or emotions
and adapting to those circumstances
especially when they’re changing or
there are models that you capitalize on
a person’s changing moods to enhance
thought but really emotional
intelligence is more than that it is
also something that we all have it is a
skill that we can enhance and I know
with these models that I just mentioned
is kind of like okey there’s a lot of
information and a lot of diplomats
actually believe it’s a bunch of hippy
hoopla that there are criticisms about
it
for instance they’d say stuff like with
EQ testing they have these questions
that they pose carefully they’re
carefully created but we still possess
bias so we would still choose and pick
answers that we feel the general
consensus would agree on instead of
choosing the answer that we feel
resonated the most with us and how we
really feel
they have got even so far to call it pop
psychology and say that you know it’s
been romanticized and that you know life
coaches and personal gurus have used it
as a scam of some sorts but as I said II
I emotional intelligence it’s a process
despite the criticisms and what the
diplomats say it’s a process it’s a
skill that we all can enhance even when
we’re not dealing with each other face
to face I mean we all kind of
practically live on the Internet you
know we’re always posting comments or
sending emails or texting and it could
seem pretty one-dimensional and then you
might think that oh but EQ kind of goes
out the window the way I see people
interact with each other online you know
how trolls can be online but we’re so
connected through technology we’re so
connected that we are emotionally
disconnected we would rather choose to
be offended because it’s easier as
opposed to just simply acknowledging
another person and where they’re coming
from so how can you enhance EQ simple
but I really practice empathizing it’s
easier said than done
but question yourself when you start to
notice that your your feelings and how
you’re behaving in a certain way you
start to see a pattern question is so
why am i acting with this why am I
feeling like this empathize with others
questions members wrong after why are
you feeling like this instead of just
reacting impulsively my mom used to
always say and she still says this
Victoria you need to be the bigger
person and I hate it when she says that
cuz it’s extremely hard to be the bigger
person like I don’t want you to make a
person you know if I’m right I’m right
if they’re wrong they’re wrong but what
would the world look like if we all
chose to be the bigger person and
empathize with others
we’ll certainly be a little less annoyed
at each other for sure I’m pretty sure
but you can also choose to practice
responding instead of reacting the
kicker here is that reacting is an
unconscious process while responding is
conscious because you’re involved with
how you’re feeling and then you take a
mental pause basically and you can
decide what action to take or how you
want to behave so I decided why don’t I
put this into practice myself and I
wanted to empathize with my father I
mean I’m not perfect I sometimes react
instead of responding but I wanted to
empathize with him and I thought maybe
it’s because he’s older and the world is
changing there’s more information out
there and he’s just trying to keep up to
date so whenever there’s something he
probably doesn’t know and I do know he
might act a little hostile so I thought
you know hey I’m empathizing I’m I’m
getting where he’s coming from
that was my theory and I actually
decided to ask him you know that why are
you doing me like that
you know and he responded and he said
well daughter it’s because you’re so
cute when you get upset that’s why I
really do it
really daddy like hey I can’t I can’t
win with him
I really can’t lose them but in all
seriousness we owe it to ourselves to
communicate better with each other we
carry the responsibility to manage our
feelings and those of others and also as
well influence them and acknowledge them
listen try to understand and see where
they’re coming from
because at the end of the day we’re not
always going to have people that are
going to empathize with us but we have
the choice to choose to be the bigger
person and empathize with them and I
think that that’s a big step in being
smart which is a little hard thank you
for your attention
[Applause]
[Music]
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