FET slanty-eyed outsider
and worthy just a girl these are just
some of the labels that I have worn on
my chest
throughout my life some are labels that
others have given me and some are labels
I’ve given myself they’ve all hurt me in
one way or another and yet these are the
same ones that I have let define me and
become me and form part of the narrative
that I tell myself and the world about
Who I am as a person so here’s the thing
I’m a storyteller I write books I write
stories about family about magic about
people caught between worlds and people
who overcome all odds in my stories I
give my characters all the labels I want
strong courageous loyal fearless all the
labels I wish I had my characters they
get all happy endings they deserve now
when I first started racing I thought
yes finally a chance to give myself a
label I actually want instead of writing
under the last name I was born with or
the more complicated two last names I
acquired through marriage sorry hubby
why not write under a pin name a made-up
name that authors sometimes used to
publish their books under I told myself
not only could a good pen name give me
ideal placement on the shelves at
bookstores
it could also help to make my books more
marketable or memorable more accessible
and in this crowded and competitive
world of writers it was smart you know
to think about these things so after
much deliberation I decided on the last
name gold hat gold because my maiden
name Kim means gold and hat for my
married name for the man who stole my
I thought that made for a symbolic and
marketable name so I I started using it
I created a website social media
accounts and I wore the name with pride
then my hubby and I we went on our
belated honeymoon to Korea when we got
married he had also decided to take Kim
as part of his legal name and he was
keen to visit the birthplace of our
specific clan of Kim’s in Kyung Joo City
there we learnt the story of the
first-ever Gyeongju Kim he was all but a
newborn baby and they found him in this
in this glowing golden casket hanging
off a branch of a tree above a white
crowing rooster the King saw him and he
was very pleased and he took the boy on
and raised him as his own naming him
after the golden light that emanated
from the casket Kim now I had to admit
it was a really cool story but it was
just that it was a story you see to me
my label my surname the one that I was
born with the one that I also share with
one fifth of the Korean population it
had come with a whole different set of
stories you see to me it reminded me of
all the times kids bed in my face all
the times that kids spread in my lunch
that my mum had lovingly prepared for me
it reminded me of kids pulling at the
ends of their eyes calling me at ching
chong china man it reminded me of
complete strangers giving my mum the
middle finger
mumbling stupid asian under their breath
and it was the one that echoed in my
ears as I watched people throw eggs at
my dad in his car telling him to get out
of your country and to never come back
to me
Kim was more than just a name it was a
constant reminder of my other Ness my
weirdness am I not good enough this
then one day I overheard my dad he was
boasting to his childhood best childhood
best friend and career about how his
daughter had been shortlisted for a
writing award look he said pointing to a
photo of me on his phone it’s wide grin
on his face that’s my girl his friend
looked at the photo then he said oh she
was a kid
why is she had gold heart my dad he went
silent he coughed he cleared his throat
and then finally he said Korean names
they’re not as respected as western ones
but but that’s okay because my daughter
she she knows what she’s doing at his
words hot tears sprung at my eyes and
this pain grew my chest in that moment I
realized I wasn’t just hiding my own
name I I was hiding my dad’s name – when
I was younger dad had told me about the
Japanese occupation of Korea Koreans
were banned from using their own names
and they were forced only to speak in
the Japanese language my ancestors had
fought to retain their names and here I
was concealing mine with a made-up one
because maybe I thought a white name
would be more marketable was it really
so bad to be a common boring Kim with
ten million other Koreans you knockin
one of the greatest female figure
skaters of all time is akin so is Chloe
Kim the youngest woman ever in the world
to win an Olympic snowboarding middle
Daniel Dakin the guy off lost in Hawaii
five-o yeah also a Kim even the
president of the World Bank is a Kim
when I started looking the number of
amazing people who shared my modest last
name was frankly humbling closer to home
I reflected on the stories that my dad
and his siblings had told me about their
father
my grandpa despite living in a time rife
with war and extreme poverty my grandpa
he was known in his village as a
generous man despite his own hunger he
would leave these portions of rice
outside the doorsteps of the poorer but
he do it in secret so that no one would
know who had afforded them such kindness
when others ran from those suffering
from leprosy
my grandpa he brought them into his own
home he bathed them he gave him the
clothes off his own back and he fed them
the prized fruits of his harvest they
say it as funeral the whole village came
to mourn and they whipped and they
whipped as if they’d all lost their own
father my dad he didn’t fall far from
the tree when he found people stealing
from his restaurant he packed them up
with more food how hungry must they be
if they stealing it he’d say sometimes
we just need a reminder that that the
world cares and that’s my small part to
play my dad he’s my biggest here I was
named after my biggest here and then
suddenly it clicked my name it wasn’t a
shekel it was my history it was my pride
riding as a Kim was actually an
opportunity for me to embrace my label
and for me to reclaim my name all that
hurt that was once caused that was no
longer a cause for shame it made my name
stronger because those three litters now
told the story of my life my dad’s life
and my grandpa’s life and these were our
stories to tell you see I know now that
Gracie King is who I am that’s who I
want to be and who I’m proud to be
and one day one day when I have my book
in my hands I’ll proudly give it to my
dad I’ll point at that have a look up
look at our name the name that you gave
me and the name that grandpa gave you
and you see this book it’s house because
we did this together
and when that day comes I hope my dad
would be proud of me too you see the
thing is we’re all storytellers we have
been since the beginning of time passed
down orally through generations and more
recently codified in writing in books
storytelling is part of the essence of
what makes us human and we do it every
day when we interact on social media
when we talk to our peers when that
voice in your head tells you you can’t
do it and then in the quiet times when
you dare to dream big and I know I know
it’s hard it’s so easy to limit
ourselves to those voices you’re too
weird you’ll never fit in you’ll never
make it but I am Telling You now you are
the only ones that can give power to
your labels they’re not prison sentences
they’re badges that you can choose to
wear with honor and with pride the tools
that you can use to help tell your story
and they grow and they change with us
too as we make our way through this
world and you have the power to undo
hurt
they might have once caused just as I
learnt to embrace my my last name Kim I
guess my challenge to all of you today
is to think about the labels that you
lit define the person you are which of
those can you just shed like an old skin
like a snake and which of those do you
choose to wear with pride think about
the story that you want to tell yourself
and the world about who you are and then
consider the labels that will help you
to tell that story thank you you
and worthy just a girl these are just
some of the labels that I have worn on
my chest
throughout my life some are labels that
others have given me and some are labels
I’ve given myself they’ve all hurt me in
one way or another and yet these are the
same ones that I have let define me and
become me and form part of the narrative
that I tell myself and the world about
Who I am as a person so here’s the thing
I’m a storyteller I write books I write
stories about family about magic about
people caught between worlds and people
who overcome all odds in my stories I
give my characters all the labels I want
strong courageous loyal fearless all the
labels I wish I had my characters they
get all happy endings they deserve now
when I first started racing I thought
yes finally a chance to give myself a
label I actually want instead of writing
under the last name I was born with or
the more complicated two last names I
acquired through marriage sorry hubby
why not write under a pin name a made-up
name that authors sometimes used to
publish their books under I told myself
not only could a good pen name give me
ideal placement on the shelves at
bookstores
it could also help to make my books more
marketable or memorable more accessible
and in this crowded and competitive
world of writers it was smart you know
to think about these things so after
much deliberation I decided on the last
name gold hat gold because my maiden
name Kim means gold and hat for my
married name for the man who stole my
I thought that made for a symbolic and
marketable name so I I started using it
I created a website social media
accounts and I wore the name with pride
then my hubby and I we went on our
belated honeymoon to Korea when we got
married he had also decided to take Kim
as part of his legal name and he was
keen to visit the birthplace of our
specific clan of Kim’s in Kyung Joo City
there we learnt the story of the
first-ever Gyeongju Kim he was all but a
newborn baby and they found him in this
in this glowing golden casket hanging
off a branch of a tree above a white
crowing rooster the King saw him and he
was very pleased and he took the boy on
and raised him as his own naming him
after the golden light that emanated
from the casket Kim now I had to admit
it was a really cool story but it was
just that it was a story you see to me
my label my surname the one that I was
born with the one that I also share with
one fifth of the Korean population it
had come with a whole different set of
stories you see to me it reminded me of
all the times kids bed in my face all
the times that kids spread in my lunch
that my mum had lovingly prepared for me
it reminded me of kids pulling at the
ends of their eyes calling me at ching
chong china man it reminded me of
complete strangers giving my mum the
middle finger
mumbling stupid asian under their breath
and it was the one that echoed in my
ears as I watched people throw eggs at
my dad in his car telling him to get out
of your country and to never come back
to me
Kim was more than just a name it was a
constant reminder of my other Ness my
weirdness am I not good enough this
then one day I overheard my dad he was
boasting to his childhood best childhood
best friend and career about how his
daughter had been shortlisted for a
writing award look he said pointing to a
photo of me on his phone it’s wide grin
on his face that’s my girl his friend
looked at the photo then he said oh she
was a kid
why is she had gold heart my dad he went
silent he coughed he cleared his throat
and then finally he said Korean names
they’re not as respected as western ones
but but that’s okay because my daughter
she she knows what she’s doing at his
words hot tears sprung at my eyes and
this pain grew my chest in that moment I
realized I wasn’t just hiding my own
name I I was hiding my dad’s name – when
I was younger dad had told me about the
Japanese occupation of Korea Koreans
were banned from using their own names
and they were forced only to speak in
the Japanese language my ancestors had
fought to retain their names and here I
was concealing mine with a made-up one
because maybe I thought a white name
would be more marketable was it really
so bad to be a common boring Kim with
ten million other Koreans you knockin
one of the greatest female figure
skaters of all time is akin so is Chloe
Kim the youngest woman ever in the world
to win an Olympic snowboarding middle
Daniel Dakin the guy off lost in Hawaii
five-o yeah also a Kim even the
president of the World Bank is a Kim
when I started looking the number of
amazing people who shared my modest last
name was frankly humbling closer to home
I reflected on the stories that my dad
and his siblings had told me about their
father
my grandpa despite living in a time rife
with war and extreme poverty my grandpa
he was known in his village as a
generous man despite his own hunger he
would leave these portions of rice
outside the doorsteps of the poorer but
he do it in secret so that no one would
know who had afforded them such kindness
when others ran from those suffering
from leprosy
my grandpa he brought them into his own
home he bathed them he gave him the
clothes off his own back and he fed them
the prized fruits of his harvest they
say it as funeral the whole village came
to mourn and they whipped and they
whipped as if they’d all lost their own
father my dad he didn’t fall far from
the tree when he found people stealing
from his restaurant he packed them up
with more food how hungry must they be
if they stealing it he’d say sometimes
we just need a reminder that that the
world cares and that’s my small part to
play my dad he’s my biggest here I was
named after my biggest here and then
suddenly it clicked my name it wasn’t a
shekel it was my history it was my pride
riding as a Kim was actually an
opportunity for me to embrace my label
and for me to reclaim my name all that
hurt that was once caused that was no
longer a cause for shame it made my name
stronger because those three litters now
told the story of my life my dad’s life
and my grandpa’s life and these were our
stories to tell you see I know now that
Gracie King is who I am that’s who I
want to be and who I’m proud to be
and one day one day when I have my book
in my hands I’ll proudly give it to my
dad I’ll point at that have a look up
look at our name the name that you gave
me and the name that grandpa gave you
and you see this book it’s house because
we did this together
and when that day comes I hope my dad
would be proud of me too you see the
thing is we’re all storytellers we have
been since the beginning of time passed
down orally through generations and more
recently codified in writing in books
storytelling is part of the essence of
what makes us human and we do it every
day when we interact on social media
when we talk to our peers when that
voice in your head tells you you can’t
do it and then in the quiet times when
you dare to dream big and I know I know
it’s hard it’s so easy to limit
ourselves to those voices you’re too
weird you’ll never fit in you’ll never
make it but I am Telling You now you are
the only ones that can give power to
your labels they’re not prison sentences
they’re badges that you can choose to
wear with honor and with pride the tools
that you can use to help tell your story
and they grow and they change with us
too as we make our way through this
world and you have the power to undo
hurt
they might have once caused just as I
learnt to embrace my my last name Kim I
guess my challenge to all of you today
is to think about the labels that you
lit define the person you are which of
those can you just shed like an old skin
like a snake and which of those do you
choose to wear with pride think about
the story that you want to tell yourself
and the world about who you are and then
consider the labels that will help you
to tell that story thank you you
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