HRU
I am ale giving an acronym is the
easiest way to make something sound very
cool and popular dink or dual income no
kids this term was actually coined by
marketers you give them a name give them
a character and they will behave the way
you want them to know wonders that is
started with a slightly negative
connotation
ding couples were supposed to be people
who are very superficial materialistic
and obviously rich who do not want to
take the responsibility of children
however in the past decade or so this
lifestyle has become more accepted
amongst people people are adopting the
dink lifestyle with more comfort and
ease and in fact they like to call
themselves child free now we need to
understand that child feel is very
different from child less especially in
this world where childlessness is
virtually impossible we have IVF we have
surrogacy we have the option of adoption
so these individuals dink couples they
like to call themselves child free by
choice but think about it we as a
species are choosing not to reproduce
isn’t that against the order of nature
do we not oh it to our unborn future
children to give them a life what will
happen to the family structure if people
started to decide to not have kids would
it collapse and what happens to these
couples as they age are their lives
filled with regret so let’s try to find
some answers to these questions
procreation
this is why life exists this is the
driving force behind evolution the
fittest survives so that they can pass
on their genes to their progeny but do
we have an instinct to procreate I mean
is there something on a noodle level or
a hormonal level that tells us that this
is the time to become a parent now
well research says that animals
including human beings do not have an
instinct to procreate we do have a sex
drive which tells us to mate but we do
not have a mechanism that tells us that
okay now it’s time to have a baby then
you’d say that what about the ticking
biological clock a lot of people say
that they felt this innate desire some
kind of drive that came from within that
they should have a baby again studies
suggest that this biological clock is
actually a learn phenomenon we learn it
from the society we learn what role we
are supposed to play at what age from
the society for example we know that
world over the age of first child birth
is shifting earlier women used to want
to become mothers in their 20s and now
the biological start clock starts
ticking in their 30s so this is a
shifting trend in our culture it’s not a
biological clock it’s a societal clock
the counter-argument is that the sex
drive itself is the reproductive drive
just like eating I mean animals do not
eat because they’re thinking about
nutrition they eat because their bodies
tell them to and that leads to
nourishment similarly animals including
human beings do not mate because they’re
thinking about reproduction they do it
because their bodies tell them to and
then that leads to reproduction so we
can safely conclude that we are born
with a reproductive or a sex drive that
matures as we that starts becoming
operational as we become mature and as
far as child free couples are concerned
they are not fighting against this drive
in fact hypothetically they have more
time and energy to indulge in this drive
than people who have children see a lot
of nodding heads right secondly is it
even possible for us to do something
which is against nature I mean the same
nature that has given us this
reproductive drive has also given us the
intelligence to figure out ways to
prevent childbirth and the intelligence
or free will to choose these ways if you
say that contraception is unnatural then
so is cooking our food
so our consciousness awareness
intelligence free will
nothing operates outside of the laws of
nature man is nature all our choices are
natural there’s no man versus nature so
is the choice to stay child free now I
was talking about this with a colleague
and she mentioned that if she happened
to tell her parents that she’s thinking
about you know being child free her
parents would say that you’re such a
thankless person that means that we
should be grateful to a parents for
giving us this life now I don’t know how
many of us would do that but let’s look
at procreation from an ethical
perspective how good or bad it is to
bring a person into this world around
2500 years ago Lord Buddha proposed that
the misery of mankind is death and
disease and guess what leads to death
and disease yes
birth birth is the root cause of man’s
misery Nirvana or moksha refers to
getting rid of the cycle of birth and
death to forward for his time but this
philosophy of antinatalism has some
credibility to it antinatalism refers to
giving a negative value to birth
basically the presumption is that life
itself is a painful event a norwegian
philosopher peters off
he said that we know too much we want to
live but because of the way we have
evolved we are the only species that is
aware of its own mortality that makes
the life of conscious living beings
tragic another philosopher Giulio
Cabrera says that procreation is
actually unethical because we are
creating an individual and sending him
on a one-way road towards death and pain
in a world where there is no justice no
meaning we expected and in a world where
it is impossible to be nice to everyone
to be model towards everyone
anteye netlist argue that non-existence is better than a painful existence but
is better than a painful existence but you would say that life isn’t so bad I
you would say that life isn’t so bad I mean we all sitting here we look forward
mean we all sitting here we look forward to life yes there is a lot of painful
to life yes there is a lot of painful stuff disease heartbreak exams lot of
stuff disease heartbreak exams lot of other things but we end all these we
other things but we end all these we endure the pain because life also brings
endure the pain because life also brings in a lot of happiness right so do we not
in a lot of happiness right so do we not owe this to other individuals who do not
owe this to other individuals who do not exist
exist do we not owe them a life so that they
do we not owe them a life so that they can come and enjoy these things and we
can come and enjoy these things and we obliged to make people so that they can
obliged to make people so that they can enjoy this existence
enjoy this existence I’ll give you an analogy let’s say that
I’ll give you an analogy let’s say that I make an unbelievably delicious cake am
I make an unbelievably delicious cake am I obliged to feed it to everyone so that
I obliged to feed it to everyone so that they can enjoy it no I might obliged to
they can enjoy it no I might obliged to create someone so that she can enjoy it
create someone so that she can enjoy it certainly no now let’s assume that I
certainly no now let’s assume that I baked an awful cake which is more likely
baked an awful cake which is more likely actually I have tasted it and I found it
actually I have tasted it and I found it to be really disgusting now I am obliged
to be really disgusting now I am obliged to not let others have it not giving
to not let others have it not giving pain is more important than giving
pain is more important than giving pleasure especially to people who don’t
pleasure especially to people who don’t exist because you can’t be deprived if
exist because you can’t be deprived if you don’t exist so according to the
you don’t exist so according to the ethical point of view we can assume a
ethical point of view we can assume a decision matrix and try to see how good
decision matrix and try to see how good or bad is it to produce a child we can
or bad is it to produce a child we can see that producing a child could be bad
see that producing a child could be bad 50% of the times
50% of the times assuming that life can be happy and not
assuming that life can be happy and not producing a child is never bad we have
producing a child is never bad we have no obligation to create someone for a
no obligation to create someone for a good life we don’t owe this to our
good life we don’t owe this to our spawns and eggs but we do have an
spawns and eggs but we do have an obligation to not create an individual
obligation to not create an individual for a bad life now we know that a person
for a bad life now we know that a person who’s born into this world will suffer
who’s born into this world will suffer suffering is inevitable
suffering is inevitable we don’t intend for our children to
we don’t intend for our children to suffer yet we create them they are not
suffer yet we create them they are not in a position to give consistence to
in a position to give consistence to give consent for their existence
give consent for their existence it is simply thrust upon them so from a
it is simply thrust upon them so from a purely ethical perspective perhaps a
purely ethical perspective perhaps a better way to enjoy parenting would be
better way to enjoy parenting would be adoption but again that’s not an easy
adoption but again that’s not an easy option many things come in the way
option many things come in the way especially our Family Values what the
especially our Family Values what the society tells us write your own blood is
society tells us write your own blood is own blood you cannot love an adopted
own blood you cannot love an adopted child the way you love your biological
child the way you love your biological child all of this is not true studies
child all of this is not true studies have proven this time and again there
have proven this time and again there are 20 million orphans in this country
are 20 million orphans in this country and yet the sole job of a newly married
and yet the sole job of a newly married couple is to deliver the good news
couple is to deliver the good news and if the couple’s happens to declare
and if the couple’s happens to declare that they want to be child free the
that they want to be child free the question would be that what about our
question would be that what about our bloodline who will continue our family
bloodline who will continue our family as if the whole human race will come to
as if the whole human race will come to extinction if people stopped producing
extinction if people stopped producing children 15 million children are born
children 15 million children are born every year in a country that’s 15
every year in a country that’s 15 million times good news but is it really
million times good news but is it really a good news we are trying to accommodate
a good news we are trying to accommodate 20 percent of the world’s population in
20 percent of the world’s population in 2% of its land and why just in an India
2% of its land and why just in an India I mean we as a species Homo sapiens are
I mean we as a species Homo sapiens are consuming more than 50% of the sun’s
consuming more than 50% of the sun’s energy fixed by photosynthesis on this
energy fixed by photosynthesis on this planet that’s the only source of food on
planet that’s the only source of food on this planet the source of all food one
this planet the source of all food one species more than 50% over a hundred
species more than 50% over a hundred species are going extinct every day
species are going extinct every day that’s a thousand times faster
that’s a thousand times faster extinction rate in the past 65 million
extinction rate in the past 65 million years so maybe we know that there are
years so maybe we know that there are too many of us and that’s the precise
too many of us and that’s the precise reason why a lot of ding couples choose
reason why a lot of ding couples choose to stay child free they don’t want to
to stay child free they don’t want to add to these
add to these it’s not that they don’t like children
it’s not that they don’t like children in fact they probably love children too
in fact they probably love children too much not just their own but all the
much not just their own but all the children of the world present and future
children of the world present and future human and others and they want to save
human and others and they want to save resources for these children this is
resources for these children this is called as generativity which is
called as generativity which is different from the somewhat more
different from the somewhat more self-centered idea of Parenthood going
self-centered idea of Parenthood going child free is not the threat unchecked
child free is not the threat unchecked mindless human reproduction is so let’s
mindless human reproduction is so let’s say that you get all inspired with this
say that you get all inspired with this talk and you start contemplating that
talk and you start contemplating that let me see if if I can go child feel if
let me see if if I can go child feel if it’s not too late for you the one
it’s not too late for you the one question that is going to definitely
question that is going to definitely bother you is what will happen as I grow
bother you is what will happen as I grow older who will take care of me would I
older who will take care of me would I regret my decision so again let’s look
regret my decision so again let’s look at science to give some answers on this
at science to give some answers on this very a lot of studies have shown that
very a lot of studies have shown that childlessness alone does not determine
childlessness alone does not determine your mental health when you become old
your mental health when you become old older individuals who have been
older individuals who have been childless figure out coping ways other
childless figure out coping ways other support systems to me to combat the
support systems to me to combat the negative effects of childlessness so
negative effects of childlessness so there’s no difference between parents
there’s no difference between parents and childless couples as they grow older
and childless couples as they grow older as far as their mental health is
as far as their mental health is concerned definitely they have less
concerned definitely they have less potential sources of social support but
potential sources of social support but they create their own system secondly
they create their own system secondly having a child does not ensure that you
having a child does not ensure that you will have a good old age I mean most
will have a good old age I mean most parents would agree that they would not
parents would agree that they would not depend completely on their children as
depend completely on their children as they grow old they are going to make
they grow old they are going to make their own arrangements the what-ifs
their own arrangements the what-ifs regrets bother everyone alike whether
regrets bother everyone alike whether it’s a parent or a child free person but
it’s a parent or a child free person but that alone does not mean that one is
that alone does not mean that one is dissatisfied or unhappy with life
a close friend of mine who’s also a mother of two said that parenting is a
mother of two said that parenting is a very selfish act we say that child free
very selfish act we say that child free is a selfish act but actually people who
is a selfish act but actually people who make this choice are stable committed
make this choice are stable committed concerned productive and mentally sound
concerned productive and mentally sound individuals so our parents parenting is
individuals so our parents parenting is selfish we look at other people having
selfish we look at other people having children and then we want one we want
children and then we want one we want children for our spouses for improving
children for our spouses for improving our marriages we want children because
our marriages we want children because our parents said so or sometimes for a
our parents said so or sometimes for a faceless society we want children
faceless society we want children because we want to leave a legacy we do
because we want to leave a legacy we do it for our own cause our purposes in
it for our own cause our purposes in this life and sometimes we want children
this life and sometimes we want children b-but because we want someone to give
b-but because we want someone to give unconditional love to parenting is a
unconditional love to parenting is a selfish act but that doesn’t make it a
selfish act but that doesn’t make it a bad thing what we need to understand
bad thing what we need to understand actually is that parenting is not a
actually is that parenting is not a given thing it’s not a necessary
given thing it’s not a necessary milestone that everyone has to cross
milestone that everyone has to cross parenting is a choice and when we talk
parenting is a choice and when we talk about our choices we are more likely to
about our choices we are more likely to make an informed and responsible one
make an informed and responsible one thank you so much
I am ale giving an acronym is the
easiest way to make something sound very
cool and popular dink or dual income no
kids this term was actually coined by
marketers you give them a name give them
a character and they will behave the way
you want them to know wonders that is
started with a slightly negative
connotation
ding couples were supposed to be people
who are very superficial materialistic
and obviously rich who do not want to
take the responsibility of children
however in the past decade or so this
lifestyle has become more accepted
amongst people people are adopting the
dink lifestyle with more comfort and
ease and in fact they like to call
themselves child free now we need to
understand that child feel is very
different from child less especially in
this world where childlessness is
virtually impossible we have IVF we have
surrogacy we have the option of adoption
so these individuals dink couples they
like to call themselves child free by
choice but think about it we as a
species are choosing not to reproduce
isn’t that against the order of nature
do we not oh it to our unborn future
children to give them a life what will
happen to the family structure if people
started to decide to not have kids would
it collapse and what happens to these
couples as they age are their lives
filled with regret so let’s try to find
some answers to these questions
procreation
this is why life exists this is the
driving force behind evolution the
fittest survives so that they can pass
on their genes to their progeny but do
we have an instinct to procreate I mean
is there something on a noodle level or
a hormonal level that tells us that this
is the time to become a parent now
well research says that animals
including human beings do not have an
instinct to procreate we do have a sex
drive which tells us to mate but we do
not have a mechanism that tells us that
okay now it’s time to have a baby then
you’d say that what about the ticking
biological clock a lot of people say
that they felt this innate desire some
kind of drive that came from within that
they should have a baby again studies
suggest that this biological clock is
actually a learn phenomenon we learn it
from the society we learn what role we
are supposed to play at what age from
the society for example we know that
world over the age of first child birth
is shifting earlier women used to want
to become mothers in their 20s and now
the biological start clock starts
ticking in their 30s so this is a
shifting trend in our culture it’s not a
biological clock it’s a societal clock
the counter-argument is that the sex
drive itself is the reproductive drive
just like eating I mean animals do not
eat because they’re thinking about
nutrition they eat because their bodies
tell them to and that leads to
nourishment similarly animals including
human beings do not mate because they’re
thinking about reproduction they do it
because their bodies tell them to and
then that leads to reproduction so we
can safely conclude that we are born
with a reproductive or a sex drive that
matures as we that starts becoming
operational as we become mature and as
far as child free couples are concerned
they are not fighting against this drive
in fact hypothetically they have more
time and energy to indulge in this drive
than people who have children see a lot
of nodding heads right secondly is it
even possible for us to do something
which is against nature I mean the same
nature that has given us this
reproductive drive has also given us the
intelligence to figure out ways to
prevent childbirth and the intelligence
or free will to choose these ways if you
say that contraception is unnatural then
so is cooking our food
so our consciousness awareness
intelligence free will
nothing operates outside of the laws of
nature man is nature all our choices are
natural there’s no man versus nature so
is the choice to stay child free now I
was talking about this with a colleague
and she mentioned that if she happened
to tell her parents that she’s thinking
about you know being child free her
parents would say that you’re such a
thankless person that means that we
should be grateful to a parents for
giving us this life now I don’t know how
many of us would do that but let’s look
at procreation from an ethical
perspective how good or bad it is to
bring a person into this world around
2500 years ago Lord Buddha proposed that
the misery of mankind is death and
disease and guess what leads to death
and disease yes
birth birth is the root cause of man’s
misery Nirvana or moksha refers to
getting rid of the cycle of birth and
death to forward for his time but this
philosophy of antinatalism has some
credibility to it antinatalism refers to
giving a negative value to birth
basically the presumption is that life
itself is a painful event a norwegian
philosopher peters off
he said that we know too much we want to
live but because of the way we have
evolved we are the only species that is
aware of its own mortality that makes
the life of conscious living beings
tragic another philosopher Giulio
Cabrera says that procreation is
actually unethical because we are
creating an individual and sending him
on a one-way road towards death and pain
in a world where there is no justice no
meaning we expected and in a world where
it is impossible to be nice to everyone
to be model towards everyone
anteye netlist argue that non-existence is better than a painful existence but
is better than a painful existence but you would say that life isn’t so bad I
you would say that life isn’t so bad I mean we all sitting here we look forward
mean we all sitting here we look forward to life yes there is a lot of painful
to life yes there is a lot of painful stuff disease heartbreak exams lot of
stuff disease heartbreak exams lot of other things but we end all these we
other things but we end all these we endure the pain because life also brings
endure the pain because life also brings in a lot of happiness right so do we not
in a lot of happiness right so do we not owe this to other individuals who do not
owe this to other individuals who do not exist
exist do we not owe them a life so that they
do we not owe them a life so that they can come and enjoy these things and we
can come and enjoy these things and we obliged to make people so that they can
obliged to make people so that they can enjoy this existence
enjoy this existence I’ll give you an analogy let’s say that
I’ll give you an analogy let’s say that I make an unbelievably delicious cake am
I make an unbelievably delicious cake am I obliged to feed it to everyone so that
I obliged to feed it to everyone so that they can enjoy it no I might obliged to
they can enjoy it no I might obliged to create someone so that she can enjoy it
create someone so that she can enjoy it certainly no now let’s assume that I
certainly no now let’s assume that I baked an awful cake which is more likely
baked an awful cake which is more likely actually I have tasted it and I found it
actually I have tasted it and I found it to be really disgusting now I am obliged
to be really disgusting now I am obliged to not let others have it not giving
to not let others have it not giving pain is more important than giving
pain is more important than giving pleasure especially to people who don’t
pleasure especially to people who don’t exist because you can’t be deprived if
exist because you can’t be deprived if you don’t exist so according to the
you don’t exist so according to the ethical point of view we can assume a
ethical point of view we can assume a decision matrix and try to see how good
decision matrix and try to see how good or bad is it to produce a child we can
or bad is it to produce a child we can see that producing a child could be bad
see that producing a child could be bad 50% of the times
50% of the times assuming that life can be happy and not
assuming that life can be happy and not producing a child is never bad we have
producing a child is never bad we have no obligation to create someone for a
no obligation to create someone for a good life we don’t owe this to our
good life we don’t owe this to our spawns and eggs but we do have an
spawns and eggs but we do have an obligation to not create an individual
obligation to not create an individual for a bad life now we know that a person
for a bad life now we know that a person who’s born into this world will suffer
who’s born into this world will suffer suffering is inevitable
suffering is inevitable we don’t intend for our children to
we don’t intend for our children to suffer yet we create them they are not
suffer yet we create them they are not in a position to give consistence to
in a position to give consistence to give consent for their existence
give consent for their existence it is simply thrust upon them so from a
it is simply thrust upon them so from a purely ethical perspective perhaps a
purely ethical perspective perhaps a better way to enjoy parenting would be
better way to enjoy parenting would be adoption but again that’s not an easy
adoption but again that’s not an easy option many things come in the way
option many things come in the way especially our Family Values what the
especially our Family Values what the society tells us write your own blood is
society tells us write your own blood is own blood you cannot love an adopted
own blood you cannot love an adopted child the way you love your biological
child the way you love your biological child all of this is not true studies
child all of this is not true studies have proven this time and again there
have proven this time and again there are 20 million orphans in this country
are 20 million orphans in this country and yet the sole job of a newly married
and yet the sole job of a newly married couple is to deliver the good news
couple is to deliver the good news and if the couple’s happens to declare
and if the couple’s happens to declare that they want to be child free the
that they want to be child free the question would be that what about our
question would be that what about our bloodline who will continue our family
bloodline who will continue our family as if the whole human race will come to
as if the whole human race will come to extinction if people stopped producing
extinction if people stopped producing children 15 million children are born
children 15 million children are born every year in a country that’s 15
every year in a country that’s 15 million times good news but is it really
million times good news but is it really a good news we are trying to accommodate
a good news we are trying to accommodate 20 percent of the world’s population in
20 percent of the world’s population in 2% of its land and why just in an India
2% of its land and why just in an India I mean we as a species Homo sapiens are
I mean we as a species Homo sapiens are consuming more than 50% of the sun’s
consuming more than 50% of the sun’s energy fixed by photosynthesis on this
energy fixed by photosynthesis on this planet that’s the only source of food on
planet that’s the only source of food on this planet the source of all food one
this planet the source of all food one species more than 50% over a hundred
species more than 50% over a hundred species are going extinct every day
species are going extinct every day that’s a thousand times faster
that’s a thousand times faster extinction rate in the past 65 million
extinction rate in the past 65 million years so maybe we know that there are
years so maybe we know that there are too many of us and that’s the precise
too many of us and that’s the precise reason why a lot of ding couples choose
reason why a lot of ding couples choose to stay child free they don’t want to
to stay child free they don’t want to add to these
add to these it’s not that they don’t like children
it’s not that they don’t like children in fact they probably love children too
in fact they probably love children too much not just their own but all the
much not just their own but all the children of the world present and future
children of the world present and future human and others and they want to save
human and others and they want to save resources for these children this is
resources for these children this is called as generativity which is
called as generativity which is different from the somewhat more
different from the somewhat more self-centered idea of Parenthood going
self-centered idea of Parenthood going child free is not the threat unchecked
child free is not the threat unchecked mindless human reproduction is so let’s
mindless human reproduction is so let’s say that you get all inspired with this
say that you get all inspired with this talk and you start contemplating that
talk and you start contemplating that let me see if if I can go child feel if
let me see if if I can go child feel if it’s not too late for you the one
it’s not too late for you the one question that is going to definitely
question that is going to definitely bother you is what will happen as I grow
bother you is what will happen as I grow older who will take care of me would I
older who will take care of me would I regret my decision so again let’s look
regret my decision so again let’s look at science to give some answers on this
at science to give some answers on this very a lot of studies have shown that
very a lot of studies have shown that childlessness alone does not determine
childlessness alone does not determine your mental health when you become old
your mental health when you become old older individuals who have been
older individuals who have been childless figure out coping ways other
childless figure out coping ways other support systems to me to combat the
support systems to me to combat the negative effects of childlessness so
negative effects of childlessness so there’s no difference between parents
there’s no difference between parents and childless couples as they grow older
and childless couples as they grow older as far as their mental health is
as far as their mental health is concerned definitely they have less
concerned definitely they have less potential sources of social support but
potential sources of social support but they create their own system secondly
they create their own system secondly having a child does not ensure that you
having a child does not ensure that you will have a good old age I mean most
will have a good old age I mean most parents would agree that they would not
parents would agree that they would not depend completely on their children as
depend completely on their children as they grow old they are going to make
they grow old they are going to make their own arrangements the what-ifs
their own arrangements the what-ifs regrets bother everyone alike whether
regrets bother everyone alike whether it’s a parent or a child free person but
it’s a parent or a child free person but that alone does not mean that one is
that alone does not mean that one is dissatisfied or unhappy with life
a close friend of mine who’s also a mother of two said that parenting is a
mother of two said that parenting is a very selfish act we say that child free
very selfish act we say that child free is a selfish act but actually people who
is a selfish act but actually people who make this choice are stable committed
make this choice are stable committed concerned productive and mentally sound
concerned productive and mentally sound individuals so our parents parenting is
individuals so our parents parenting is selfish we look at other people having
selfish we look at other people having children and then we want one we want
children and then we want one we want children for our spouses for improving
children for our spouses for improving our marriages we want children because
our marriages we want children because our parents said so or sometimes for a
our parents said so or sometimes for a faceless society we want children
faceless society we want children because we want to leave a legacy we do
because we want to leave a legacy we do it for our own cause our purposes in
it for our own cause our purposes in this life and sometimes we want children
this life and sometimes we want children b-but because we want someone to give
b-but because we want someone to give unconditional love to parenting is a
unconditional love to parenting is a selfish act but that doesn’t make it a
selfish act but that doesn’t make it a bad thing what we need to understand
bad thing what we need to understand actually is that parenting is not a
actually is that parenting is not a given thing it’s not a necessary
given thing it’s not a necessary milestone that everyone has to cross
milestone that everyone has to cross parenting is a choice and when we talk
parenting is a choice and when we talk about our choices we are more likely to
about our choices we are more likely to make an informed and responsible one
make an informed and responsible one thank you so much
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