you know relationships in this world are
not products of an assembly line that is
they don’t get formed automatically
instead they are a product that needs to
be handcrafted one at a time with great
sensitivity and care we see today how
the modern work culture is increasingly
affecting family relationships picture
of family with the members of the family
or back home a friend are those day at
work too tired to talk just wanting to
watch the television dying and end the
day only to wake up the next morning and
rush back to work often it gets assume
that just living together will nurture
the family relationship but sadly it
doesn’t happen that way today more than
ever there is a need to bridge these
relationship gaps and we can do so by
having meaningful and hard to hurt
conversations sometimes in your train
travels you might have experienced how a
relationship builds up instantaneously
when you start conversing with fellow
travelers oh where are you traveling to
you’re traveling to Delhi
do you stay at Delhi or just visiting
for some work
we’re in Delhi do you stay because I too
am from Delhi okay you stay in Punjabi
Bagh I stained Raja garden and then some
more time and some more conversations
and you end up exchanging contact
numbers and promise to be in touch even
after journeys over right and then of
course there are other journeys where
everyone is silent no one speaks a word
everyone has got a serious look on their
faces how many of you have been on any
such journey before yeah quite as many
what’s the result what is the result
everyone just walks their way without a
bond getting created right statistics
show how relationships are too
breaking apart at a much rapid pace fast
vanishing are the days of large and
happy joint families diverse rates are
shooting up international tensions are
on an increase all in the absence of the
right conversations and the right time
place and circumstances it is said that
a stitch in time saves nine
investing in conversations help us
bridge that gap of relationship and
makes us trustworthy in people’s eyes
who in this world doesn’t want someone
by their side who could be trusted maybe
a colleague a friend or a family member
on whom you can depend on on whom you
can you know share your grief or get
some guidance dr. Martin Luther King jr.
in his 1968 speech wherein he reflects
upon the civil rights movement he states
in the end what will remember is not the
words of our enemies but the silence of
our friends I remember in my own
personal life ten years back when I had
resigned from my job and was moving to
be a full-time monk at the temple all of
my colleagues my friends my family
members and relatives were just
bewildered why is he doing like that why
in the world would a person after
studying from IIT and working for a
reputed global IT company would want to
leave such a promising career to live
without an income what if this happens
what if that happens for me it would
have been the most crucial cruelty thing
to do had I just walked away without
speaking a word to them I chose to
converse about the higher purpose of my
decision about my own inner calling
and my desire to serve the society in a
different but substantial manner
investing in this conversation at that
point of time help them come out of so
many misunderstandings and it helped me
when their trust and today I feel each
of these relationships I have stands
much stronger than what they would have
been otherwise one of the greatest
wisdom teachers who lived in India 500
years back sri rupa goswami he explains
that the secret to a great relationship
is GU him or Cathy Pritchett e meaning
to reveal your mind in confidence and to
inquire confidentially which gets
facilitated when there is a proper
conversation between the two parties in
fact two of the greatest sources of
ancient vedic wisdom available to
mankind the bhagavad-gita and the
Bhagavata Purana
are in the form of conversations the
Gita is a conversation between Sri
Krishna and Arjuna and the Bhagavata
Purana is a seven day continuous
conversation between the grandson of
Arjun maharaja pariksit and the son of
srivasa
sukadeva goswami the wisdom from these
conversational masterpieces have been
guiding humanity since time immemorial
helping people understand the meaning
and purpose of their lives and how to
carry on with their duties in the right
consciousness okay so now how do we
employ conversations intelligently to
nurture our relationships we have in our
lives I have here for you a simple salt
formula which when used will prove to be
very effective in this acronym salt the
S stands for the subject we are
conversing on now we’ll need to bear in
mind that just discussing anything under
the Sun may not necessarily improve our
relationships free
for that our conversations will need to
be on subjects that benefit the
participants like discussing on the
needs interests and concerns of the
person before us that is how we show
that we actually are wanting to build up
the relationship in fact sometimes even
just a small but explicit appreciation
of the good in others helps a lot but
for that we need to keep our eyes open
to catch people doing right list will
fall short of words when that
appreciating opportunity comes before us
so the S stands for the subject of our
conversation the a denotes our attitude
while we converse is it just to prove
our point or do we also want to learn
something from the other person in
sanskrit conversations have been
explained to be of three types the
lowest of the three is called jela /
wherein a person is not concerned what
others have to say one simply wants to
be heard then there is a father this is
more of an ideal discussion between the
two parties to find the truth of the
matter but the highest is someone which
is a discussion between a learner
teacher and the taught here in the
student questions the understanding of
the teacher for clarification so
similarly when we M when we have a right
attitude of learning from the other
person we definitely know improve our
relationships and this is exactly why in
the corporate world there are meetings
and seminars to you know learn best
practices and lessons learned right so a
stands for our attitude while we
converse the L stands for our listening
ability if even if we just want to state
our opinion without wanting a response
or an argument
or a challenge we may as well just write
a blog write a chance has to be given to
the other party as well to express
themselves and without being engaged
elsewhere either on our smartphones or
the world outside the window listen to
them that is how we show that we
actually care for them so the L stands
for our listening ability and last but
not the least P stands for time one has
to take out time to build relationships
by investing in conversations in person
not just through screens social media
today might connect us to people far
from us but it also often disconnects us
from people close to us because we just
don’t have time left out of our screen
engagements right it is said that
someone may actually talk to you when
they have free time but some free their
time to talk to you so when we free our
time on a regular basis we show how we
actually consider the other person to be
someone important and that we want the
relationship to be a priority over other
things so this acronym salt s stands for
the subject of our conversation a for
our attitude of learning from the other
party l for our listening ability and T
for the time that we need to devote you
know this element salt is a very
interesting thing salt remains hidden in
a preparation and mostly it doesn’t get
any credit for the taste of the
preparation right people appreciate the
vegetables or the spices but not the
salt but still salt remains a very vital
ingredient in bringing forth that taste
similarly when we incorporate these
aspects in our conversations we will
definitely build up relationships that
be substantial and satisfying in our
lives and I believe this is true lien
idea worth sharing thank you all very
much [Applause]
not products of an assembly line that is
they don’t get formed automatically
instead they are a product that needs to
be handcrafted one at a time with great
sensitivity and care we see today how
the modern work culture is increasingly
affecting family relationships picture
of family with the members of the family
or back home a friend are those day at
work too tired to talk just wanting to
watch the television dying and end the
day only to wake up the next morning and
rush back to work often it gets assume
that just living together will nurture
the family relationship but sadly it
doesn’t happen that way today more than
ever there is a need to bridge these
relationship gaps and we can do so by
having meaningful and hard to hurt
conversations sometimes in your train
travels you might have experienced how a
relationship builds up instantaneously
when you start conversing with fellow
travelers oh where are you traveling to
you’re traveling to Delhi
do you stay at Delhi or just visiting
for some work
we’re in Delhi do you stay because I too
am from Delhi okay you stay in Punjabi
Bagh I stained Raja garden and then some
more time and some more conversations
and you end up exchanging contact
numbers and promise to be in touch even
after journeys over right and then of
course there are other journeys where
everyone is silent no one speaks a word
everyone has got a serious look on their
faces how many of you have been on any
such journey before yeah quite as many
what’s the result what is the result
everyone just walks their way without a
bond getting created right statistics
show how relationships are too
breaking apart at a much rapid pace fast
vanishing are the days of large and
happy joint families diverse rates are
shooting up international tensions are
on an increase all in the absence of the
right conversations and the right time
place and circumstances it is said that
a stitch in time saves nine
investing in conversations help us
bridge that gap of relationship and
makes us trustworthy in people’s eyes
who in this world doesn’t want someone
by their side who could be trusted maybe
a colleague a friend or a family member
on whom you can depend on on whom you
can you know share your grief or get
some guidance dr. Martin Luther King jr.
in his 1968 speech wherein he reflects
upon the civil rights movement he states
in the end what will remember is not the
words of our enemies but the silence of
our friends I remember in my own
personal life ten years back when I had
resigned from my job and was moving to
be a full-time monk at the temple all of
my colleagues my friends my family
members and relatives were just
bewildered why is he doing like that why
in the world would a person after
studying from IIT and working for a
reputed global IT company would want to
leave such a promising career to live
without an income what if this happens
what if that happens for me it would
have been the most crucial cruelty thing
to do had I just walked away without
speaking a word to them I chose to
converse about the higher purpose of my
decision about my own inner calling
and my desire to serve the society in a
different but substantial manner
investing in this conversation at that
point of time help them come out of so
many misunderstandings and it helped me
when their trust and today I feel each
of these relationships I have stands
much stronger than what they would have
been otherwise one of the greatest
wisdom teachers who lived in India 500
years back sri rupa goswami he explains
that the secret to a great relationship
is GU him or Cathy Pritchett e meaning
to reveal your mind in confidence and to
inquire confidentially which gets
facilitated when there is a proper
conversation between the two parties in
fact two of the greatest sources of
ancient vedic wisdom available to
mankind the bhagavad-gita and the
Bhagavata Purana
are in the form of conversations the
Gita is a conversation between Sri
Krishna and Arjuna and the Bhagavata
Purana is a seven day continuous
conversation between the grandson of
Arjun maharaja pariksit and the son of
srivasa
sukadeva goswami the wisdom from these
conversational masterpieces have been
guiding humanity since time immemorial
helping people understand the meaning
and purpose of their lives and how to
carry on with their duties in the right
consciousness okay so now how do we
employ conversations intelligently to
nurture our relationships we have in our
lives I have here for you a simple salt
formula which when used will prove to be
very effective in this acronym salt the
S stands for the subject we are
conversing on now we’ll need to bear in
mind that just discussing anything under
the Sun may not necessarily improve our
relationships free
for that our conversations will need to
be on subjects that benefit the
participants like discussing on the
needs interests and concerns of the
person before us that is how we show
that we actually are wanting to build up
the relationship in fact sometimes even
just a small but explicit appreciation
of the good in others helps a lot but
for that we need to keep our eyes open
to catch people doing right list will
fall short of words when that
appreciating opportunity comes before us
so the S stands for the subject of our
conversation the a denotes our attitude
while we converse is it just to prove
our point or do we also want to learn
something from the other person in
sanskrit conversations have been
explained to be of three types the
lowest of the three is called jela /
wherein a person is not concerned what
others have to say one simply wants to
be heard then there is a father this is
more of an ideal discussion between the
two parties to find the truth of the
matter but the highest is someone which
is a discussion between a learner
teacher and the taught here in the
student questions the understanding of
the teacher for clarification so
similarly when we M when we have a right
attitude of learning from the other
person we definitely know improve our
relationships and this is exactly why in
the corporate world there are meetings
and seminars to you know learn best
practices and lessons learned right so a
stands for our attitude while we
converse the L stands for our listening
ability if even if we just want to state
our opinion without wanting a response
or an argument
or a challenge we may as well just write
a blog write a chance has to be given to
the other party as well to express
themselves and without being engaged
elsewhere either on our smartphones or
the world outside the window listen to
them that is how we show that we
actually care for them so the L stands
for our listening ability and last but
not the least P stands for time one has
to take out time to build relationships
by investing in conversations in person
not just through screens social media
today might connect us to people far
from us but it also often disconnects us
from people close to us because we just
don’t have time left out of our screen
engagements right it is said that
someone may actually talk to you when
they have free time but some free their
time to talk to you so when we free our
time on a regular basis we show how we
actually consider the other person to be
someone important and that we want the
relationship to be a priority over other
things so this acronym salt s stands for
the subject of our conversation a for
our attitude of learning from the other
party l for our listening ability and T
for the time that we need to devote you
know this element salt is a very
interesting thing salt remains hidden in
a preparation and mostly it doesn’t get
any credit for the taste of the
preparation right people appreciate the
vegetables or the spices but not the
salt but still salt remains a very vital
ingredient in bringing forth that taste
similarly when we incorporate these
aspects in our conversations we will
definitely build up relationships that
be substantial and satisfying in our
lives and I believe this is true lien
idea worth sharing thank you all very
much [Applause]
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