hello everybody how are we
I see so many smiling faces
so what if I told you there’s a simple
way for addressing three of the largest
healthcare epidemics in the West today
I’d like to share with you a method for
improving mental health obesity and
loneliness one you can do anywhere and
cost nothing I’m going to tell you how I
came across it how it worked and how it
can work for you I’m a psychotherapist
and like a lot of people I’ve had a life
full of twists and turns I grew up in a
fairly dysfunctional family and as the
eldest son I took on the worlds of
peacekeeper and protector roles which
called for a constant assessment of
other people’s feelings what it didn’t
leave me with was a great way to assess
my own feelings and in 2006 I had a
meltdown like a lot of depressed people
I felt ashamed that the state I was in
and ashamed of my inability to get out
of it but I knew that in the end it
would come down to me to get myself out
of this situation and make a change and
I took up two things that I felt would
help address my mental health and my
physical health I took up psychotherapy
and running psychotherapy was
unquestionably helpful it felt important
it was comforting but it didn’t feel
like it was enough and it wasn’t happen
fast enough for me
running on the other hand was a real
challenge I was amongst other things a
pretty serious smoker and drinker yeah
it wasn’t easy so I rang up a friend and
together we agreed to meet in High Park
in London near where I live in its
center is a lake called the serpent Isle
and it was there that my recovery really
began so two friends meet in a park
is everything well actually going to
that Park and meeting my friend gave me
a sense of purpose it gave me a sense of
achievement and to depress class and
that is the beginning of hope I I found
that as we went for those runs it wasn’t
just the fresher and sense of
achievement that was helping it was a
lot more than that there was a an ease
to the way we were able to talk I found
our conversations flowed freely and yet
was strangely focused and I found that
we were tapping into the very things
that made me most nervous the very
things that made mean most the things
I’ve been avoiding most of my life
a year later I decided to train to be a
therapist myself and over the next five
years I made it my mission to try to
combine everything that I’ve learned
about running with everything I was
learning about psychotherapy looking at
the medicine it became looking at the
medicine looking looking at the science
it became clear why running was so
effective I read about our history as
persistence hunters working to track
together an exhaust prey I read about
fighting sites that come from the plants
and the trees boost our immune systems
and I read about green spaces of course
that helped reduce our blood pressure
and stress level fast-forward to now and
I would say you know running therapists
for six years and in that time I’ve
learned there’s a lot I can discover
about my clients just from the way they
move for instance I’ve seen that those
in a rush in life often run
leaning forward as though in a rush on
the run from someplace in the past or
trying to get to someplace in the future
together we experiment with what it’s
like to slow down to spend time in the
here and now and I’ve also seen how
movement helps bring up feelings from
far below allowing us to better identify
I’ve learned from my clients that change
is strangely counterintuitive for
instance as the great American
psychologist Carl Rogers said the
curious paradox is that when I accept
myself just as I am then I can change
and I’ve seen how running is symbolic of
their choices that we make in life it’s
about deciding that today I’m going to
get from here today even if I’m not sure
how now I’d like to tell you a simple
method how you can try this yourself
using something I call empathy runs or
if you prefer you can do them as empathy
walks it works just as well first and
this is important find somebody you
trust and like arrange to meet in a park
and decide who goes first
as the talker and who is the listener
what you share about us the talker is up
to you but a good guide is just to relax
and trust in your instincts at the end
the listener is going to repeat back a
very brief summary of everything that
they’ve heard so listening closely is
critical and then you swap it for then
you swap at the end again it sounds
quite simplistic but in fact it’s a very
moving and profoundly human experience
it’s also practice you can do with
anyone you are struggling to communicate
with such as loved ones siblings work
colleagues it’s a great way to reach out
to family members or friends who you’re
having a hard time getting through to or
who you can see are in distress so why
does this practice work so well why is
it so healing ask yourself when you last
got to spend ten minutes talking
uninterrupted this method works because
the person who listens to you heals you
just as you are mad bad angry or sad
they have chosen to spend a moment with
you free of judgment they don’t bring
answers they bring community now I’d
like you to spend one moment just think
just to consider if there’s something
you might bring on an empathy run or
walk perhaps it’s something that you’ve
been carrying for a while perhaps it’s
some part of yourself that you have a
hard time accepting perhaps it’s a fear
or need that you’ve never shared with
anyone I want you to imagine what it
would be like just to loosen your grip
on it to let go of that need to manage
it to conceal it from others all that
energy spent doing that my advice is to
take it out of the darkness and bring it
into the light why because everybody has
it then this particular thing may be
your thing no matter what you feel like
you’ve done in life or no matter what
you fear you are inside or who you fear
you may be that fear is always worse
than the reality finally I’d like to
dedicate this talk to all the people who
however stuck you feel if
you just put one foot in front of the
other and keep moving things will change
things will get better thank you
[Applause] [Music]
I see so many smiling faces
so what if I told you there’s a simple
way for addressing three of the largest
healthcare epidemics in the West today
I’d like to share with you a method for
improving mental health obesity and
loneliness one you can do anywhere and
cost nothing I’m going to tell you how I
came across it how it worked and how it
can work for you I’m a psychotherapist
and like a lot of people I’ve had a life
full of twists and turns I grew up in a
fairly dysfunctional family and as the
eldest son I took on the worlds of
peacekeeper and protector roles which
called for a constant assessment of
other people’s feelings what it didn’t
leave me with was a great way to assess
my own feelings and in 2006 I had a
meltdown like a lot of depressed people
I felt ashamed that the state I was in
and ashamed of my inability to get out
of it but I knew that in the end it
would come down to me to get myself out
of this situation and make a change and
I took up two things that I felt would
help address my mental health and my
physical health I took up psychotherapy
and running psychotherapy was
unquestionably helpful it felt important
it was comforting but it didn’t feel
like it was enough and it wasn’t happen
fast enough for me
running on the other hand was a real
challenge I was amongst other things a
pretty serious smoker and drinker yeah
it wasn’t easy so I rang up a friend and
together we agreed to meet in High Park
in London near where I live in its
center is a lake called the serpent Isle
and it was there that my recovery really
began so two friends meet in a park
is everything well actually going to
that Park and meeting my friend gave me
a sense of purpose it gave me a sense of
achievement and to depress class and
that is the beginning of hope I I found
that as we went for those runs it wasn’t
just the fresher and sense of
achievement that was helping it was a
lot more than that there was a an ease
to the way we were able to talk I found
our conversations flowed freely and yet
was strangely focused and I found that
we were tapping into the very things
that made me most nervous the very
things that made mean most the things
I’ve been avoiding most of my life
a year later I decided to train to be a
therapist myself and over the next five
years I made it my mission to try to
combine everything that I’ve learned
about running with everything I was
learning about psychotherapy looking at
the medicine it became looking at the
medicine looking looking at the science
it became clear why running was so
effective I read about our history as
persistence hunters working to track
together an exhaust prey I read about
fighting sites that come from the plants
and the trees boost our immune systems
and I read about green spaces of course
that helped reduce our blood pressure
and stress level fast-forward to now and
I would say you know running therapists
for six years and in that time I’ve
learned there’s a lot I can discover
about my clients just from the way they
move for instance I’ve seen that those
in a rush in life often run
leaning forward as though in a rush on
the run from someplace in the past or
trying to get to someplace in the future
together we experiment with what it’s
like to slow down to spend time in the
here and now and I’ve also seen how
movement helps bring up feelings from
far below allowing us to better identify
I’ve learned from my clients that change
is strangely counterintuitive for
instance as the great American
psychologist Carl Rogers said the
curious paradox is that when I accept
myself just as I am then I can change
and I’ve seen how running is symbolic of
their choices that we make in life it’s
about deciding that today I’m going to
get from here today even if I’m not sure
how now I’d like to tell you a simple
method how you can try this yourself
using something I call empathy runs or
if you prefer you can do them as empathy
walks it works just as well first and
this is important find somebody you
trust and like arrange to meet in a park
and decide who goes first
as the talker and who is the listener
what you share about us the talker is up
to you but a good guide is just to relax
and trust in your instincts at the end
the listener is going to repeat back a
very brief summary of everything that
they’ve heard so listening closely is
critical and then you swap it for then
you swap at the end again it sounds
quite simplistic but in fact it’s a very
moving and profoundly human experience
it’s also practice you can do with
anyone you are struggling to communicate
with such as loved ones siblings work
colleagues it’s a great way to reach out
to family members or friends who you’re
having a hard time getting through to or
who you can see are in distress so why
does this practice work so well why is
it so healing ask yourself when you last
got to spend ten minutes talking
uninterrupted this method works because
the person who listens to you heals you
just as you are mad bad angry or sad
they have chosen to spend a moment with
you free of judgment they don’t bring
answers they bring community now I’d
like you to spend one moment just think
just to consider if there’s something
you might bring on an empathy run or
walk perhaps it’s something that you’ve
been carrying for a while perhaps it’s
some part of yourself that you have a
hard time accepting perhaps it’s a fear
or need that you’ve never shared with
anyone I want you to imagine what it
would be like just to loosen your grip
on it to let go of that need to manage
it to conceal it from others all that
energy spent doing that my advice is to
take it out of the darkness and bring it
into the light why because everybody has
it then this particular thing may be
your thing no matter what you feel like
you’ve done in life or no matter what
you fear you are inside or who you fear
you may be that fear is always worse
than the reality finally I’d like to
dedicate this talk to all the people who
however stuck you feel if
you just put one foot in front of the
other and keep moving things will change
things will get better thank you
[Applause] [Music]
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