Translator: Yesmin Mohyeldin Checker: Ayman Mahmoud
On 25 July 2005
My life has changed forever
I went to bed that night, my children were asleep
My husband “Dan” was a police officer who was abroad doing his job
Works in the evening in San Leonardo, California
We had just celebrated the birth of my 15 children the day before
Our 6-year-old daughter was the happiest girl on earth
But at one o’clock in the morning the clicks came on the door
She informs me of my husband’s death
By three friends close to us
Who were working with him that night
And a whole world crash
I went to bed and I believe that this tragedy will not affect
But I woke up to a terrible new reality
Before that happens
I thought I knew how public safety looked
I thought as long as the prisons were full, we were safe
I did not know who the criminals really were
But I was sure that their place was in prison forever
After Dan’s death, I learned that I was right
When Arving Ramirez was convicted of killing “Dan”
She pleaded with the jury to sentence him to death
He was sentenced to do so
I begged to get that punishment motivated by anger, I wanted revenge
“Irving”
But I did that also because many people told me
The death penalty will cure your sickness
But in the end they were not
When the joy of winning the verdict was over
He was replaced by extreme misery
I had no idea what to do
So, over the next few years I was looking for answers
I learned that our system fails
Almost routinely on almost all levels
I am among them, even though I got what I wanted
But I’m beginning to give up hope of reaching an answer
After that, the project of the prison of Al-Basira was presented.
They asked me to come and share my story with a group of women
Who serve life sentences for murder
I accepted the invitation, but I was afraid to go to jail
I had no idea what to expect
I thought they were Sicilian and I lived until I met them
It turned out that many of them were like me
I did not expect to communicate with these women the way I did
I did not expect to see myself in their stories
I did not expect to cry with them that way
Because of this experience I learned that the key is healing
He was in contact with people who had done a great deal of damage
They were learning to find their humanity
For at that time, I was the one who lost them
Now, think the most responsible thing about
My feelings for love and empathy
Understanding and tolerance
It is a search for healing in the misery and death of another human being
(clap)
Everything was clear at that moment that more suffering was not the answer
But what happened with them for me was the answer
The work done by men and women “IPP” group education of victims and perpetrators of imprisonment
Deep and very effective.
It took about a year and a half of hard work
Who explored the impact of their crimes.
And how to be truly responsible for his actions
And building compassion for the victims
And ultimately recover from all unresolved shocks
This is very important
Because everyone in prison today will never be there
More than 90 percent of them will return to their homes one day
They will be next to someone
This will not scare me now, because I knew they were in the VOEG healing group
Or one of the great programs that exist in jail
Because I strongly believe that these programs contribute to public security
I know it was real for me
Because watching people turn through this wonderful work
I totally despaired of seeing Irving die and I could not do it completely
If people have told me ten years ago that I am
I will be with IPP and become a member
I go to prison every Saturday
I work with a group of men serving a life sentence
I find my healing in this process.
Shops
I can never imagine it becoming a reality
But here I am
(clap)
I never thought
Li will have the opportunity to experience this phase of emotional therapy
Or support the healing of others
I never thought I would see people bled by anger and fear
From trauma that has not yet healed and then become healers for others
It was a very wonderful experience
I am very grateful.
But it can not stand for me and the other volunteers
In this prison who love this work
This is really a sad thing
These programs are very rare
Outside the city of San Quentin we need to change that.
But the way I see it, there are three different groups of people
Who have the strongest ability to influence the return of people to their homes from prisons
They are lawmakers, prison managers and society.
For legislators ask you to develop intelligent justice policies
Reduce prison and determine the real motives of the crimes
Such as poverty, addiction and mental health problems
And unresolved shocks
(clap)
The era of “aggravated punishment”
Which has pledged to achieve public security and failed completely
Everyone knows there is a flaw in the system
We are ready for a new direction
And for prison administrators
I ask you to remain consistent
On programs such as Project Insight Prison
And other prison programs.
Set them up in other prisons and make them available
These programs help to increase security in prisons
And reduce the violence of prisoners
And turning the lives of people inside and outside the prison
Remained consistent
To the media who wish to display the work they are doing and the lives that have changed
This is necessary for people to know what is happening here
I ask you to explore new ways to allow prisoners to reconnect
With their families and rehabilitate them and become contributors to their role
Not only with prisoners
But with people like me who are victims of crimes
Your decision here affects what will happen abroad
(clap)
Finally, the community.
I ask you to set aside everything you think you have learned
For prisoners, just be curious
I ask you to ignore the harm they caused: I will not do that
I ask you to be open to possibility
Make their change
I did
I ask you to remain open to the truth of salvation that can happen
Finally, I ask you to forgive
But not the way you think
Ask to allow the prisoners
To pay the price
That’s why we send them to jail, right?
(clap)
They were incarcerated in prison to pay us for their actions
But the only problem is that it does not happen
I did not know that the stigma lasted forever, until I met
People who have served their sentences are now in prison
They do wonderful things in the world
And then watch them being stopped and marginalized at every turn
Whatever they did
Criminal convictions eliminate access to safe housing and employment
Mental health and mental rehabilitation services
When we put obstacles in front of people trying
Take responsibility and become an active member of society
We send them to their failure and in the end we all lose
I really believe that the goal of public security can be achieved
Without rupturing each other
But it will all require us to work together to get rid of harm
And to heal
We can do better than that, we must.
Thank you so much
(clap)
On 25 July 2005
My life has changed forever
I went to bed that night, my children were asleep
My husband “Dan” was a police officer who was abroad doing his job
Works in the evening in San Leonardo, California
We had just celebrated the birth of my 15 children the day before
Our 6-year-old daughter was the happiest girl on earth
But at one o’clock in the morning the clicks came on the door
She informs me of my husband’s death
By three friends close to us
Who were working with him that night
And a whole world crash
I went to bed and I believe that this tragedy will not affect
But I woke up to a terrible new reality
Before that happens
I thought I knew how public safety looked
I thought as long as the prisons were full, we were safe
I did not know who the criminals really were
But I was sure that their place was in prison forever
After Dan’s death, I learned that I was right
When Arving Ramirez was convicted of killing “Dan”
She pleaded with the jury to sentence him to death
He was sentenced to do so
I begged to get that punishment motivated by anger, I wanted revenge
“Irving”
But I did that also because many people told me
The death penalty will cure your sickness
But in the end they were not
When the joy of winning the verdict was over
He was replaced by extreme misery
I had no idea what to do
So, over the next few years I was looking for answers
I learned that our system fails
Almost routinely on almost all levels
I am among them, even though I got what I wanted
But I’m beginning to give up hope of reaching an answer
After that, the project of the prison of Al-Basira was presented.
They asked me to come and share my story with a group of women
Who serve life sentences for murder
I accepted the invitation, but I was afraid to go to jail
I had no idea what to expect
I thought they were Sicilian and I lived until I met them
It turned out that many of them were like me
I did not expect to communicate with these women the way I did
I did not expect to see myself in their stories
I did not expect to cry with them that way
Because of this experience I learned that the key is healing
He was in contact with people who had done a great deal of damage
They were learning to find their humanity
For at that time, I was the one who lost them
Now, think the most responsible thing about
My feelings for love and empathy
Understanding and tolerance
It is a search for healing in the misery and death of another human being
(clap)
Everything was clear at that moment that more suffering was not the answer
But what happened with them for me was the answer
The work done by men and women “IPP” group education of victims and perpetrators of imprisonment
Deep and very effective.
It took about a year and a half of hard work
Who explored the impact of their crimes.
And how to be truly responsible for his actions
And building compassion for the victims
And ultimately recover from all unresolved shocks
This is very important
Because everyone in prison today will never be there
More than 90 percent of them will return to their homes one day
They will be next to someone
This will not scare me now, because I knew they were in the VOEG healing group
Or one of the great programs that exist in jail
Because I strongly believe that these programs contribute to public security
I know it was real for me
Because watching people turn through this wonderful work
I totally despaired of seeing Irving die and I could not do it completely
If people have told me ten years ago that I am
I will be with IPP and become a member
I go to prison every Saturday
I work with a group of men serving a life sentence
I find my healing in this process.
Shops
I can never imagine it becoming a reality
But here I am
(clap)
I never thought
Li will have the opportunity to experience this phase of emotional therapy
Or support the healing of others
I never thought I would see people bled by anger and fear
From trauma that has not yet healed and then become healers for others
It was a very wonderful experience
I am very grateful.
But it can not stand for me and the other volunteers
In this prison who love this work
This is really a sad thing
These programs are very rare
Outside the city of San Quentin we need to change that.
But the way I see it, there are three different groups of people
Who have the strongest ability to influence the return of people to their homes from prisons
They are lawmakers, prison managers and society.
For legislators ask you to develop intelligent justice policies
Reduce prison and determine the real motives of the crimes
Such as poverty, addiction and mental health problems
And unresolved shocks
(clap)
The era of “aggravated punishment”
Which has pledged to achieve public security and failed completely
Everyone knows there is a flaw in the system
We are ready for a new direction
And for prison administrators
I ask you to remain consistent
On programs such as Project Insight Prison
And other prison programs.
Set them up in other prisons and make them available
These programs help to increase security in prisons
And reduce the violence of prisoners
And turning the lives of people inside and outside the prison
Remained consistent
To the media who wish to display the work they are doing and the lives that have changed
This is necessary for people to know what is happening here
I ask you to explore new ways to allow prisoners to reconnect
With their families and rehabilitate them and become contributors to their role
Not only with prisoners
But with people like me who are victims of crimes
Your decision here affects what will happen abroad
(clap)
Finally, the community.
I ask you to set aside everything you think you have learned
For prisoners, just be curious
I ask you to ignore the harm they caused: I will not do that
I ask you to be open to possibility
Make their change
I did
I ask you to remain open to the truth of salvation that can happen
Finally, I ask you to forgive
But not the way you think
Ask to allow the prisoners
To pay the price
That’s why we send them to jail, right?
(clap)
They were incarcerated in prison to pay us for their actions
But the only problem is that it does not happen
I did not know that the stigma lasted forever, until I met
People who have served their sentences are now in prison
They do wonderful things in the world
And then watch them being stopped and marginalized at every turn
Whatever they did
Criminal convictions eliminate access to safe housing and employment
Mental health and mental rehabilitation services
When we put obstacles in front of people trying
Take responsibility and become an active member of society
We send them to their failure and in the end we all lose
I really believe that the goal of public security can be achieved
Without rupturing each other
But it will all require us to work together to get rid of harm
And to heal
We can do better than that, we must.
Thank you so much
(clap)
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