side of the world to a place where I
myself grow up and although it’s only 17
degrees outside nobody walked here the
gentlemen literally drove themselves
here while the ladies as women are not
allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia had to
be driven by a male guardian hired or a
private driver and as we get there the
room will look significantly different
I’m gonna have to ask all the gentlemen
in this room to please stand up and
leave the room we have the next room
step for you to watch me through a
livestream or or we can put a partition
on the side of the room and ask all the
gentlemen to move there but let’s come
back here to this space where we all
chose where to sit we all chose who to
sit beside and as they go through my
talk I want you to think of the other
choices you made today the choices you
make every day keep in mind that choice
is this act of selecting when faced with
two or more possibilities two or more
options two or more opportunities it is
a form of communication that communicate
a story about who we are let’s visit
Saudi Arabia come and as the men trust
in the soap took all the pure white to
that side of the room all I could see in
front of me is shades of black yes there
are shades of black
as they’re all wearing da bhaiyya the
silky cloth covering their hair their
crown that let’s come back here to the
space and I want you to look to your
sides and acknowledge with the person
and I want you to take a look at what
what are the colors you’re wearing we
all chose what to wear we all chose what
colors to match or mismatch but is that
the difference what is the actual
difference between those two stories
though the same event but there is a
difference it is the role played by
faith chance and choice and out of those
forces choice is only power we hold in
our hands I have three stories for you
today and allow me to tell you the first
one in terms of these three forces and I
want you to think of your own story in
terms of those three forces of things
like where you were born the random
events they’re not so guaranteed events
that have happened the choices you made
so my first story is about me as a grown
up state I was in third grade born in
Saudi Arabia back in my hometown in the
eastern region a city called El HESA the
beach the mountains and over 30 million
palm trees and it was in dove spring and
when I say in the spring I mean it was
37 39 degrees outside
really uncomfortable feasibilities low
sandstorms just calm down the taste of
the dust your mouth skin feels weird and
it wasn’t third-grade chance my mother
finally agreed to my relentless requests
the tears of shed for the past weeks
have finally paid choice that request
have been for my mother to purchase me
the full Islamic cover the abaya the
veil and the face cover and I remember
was last day of class and it
all on went to school shooter all offed
my friends and my teachers
it was my moment of glory and at the end
of the day I sat in the middle of the
school yard and mind you was girls only
school I put it all on again covered up
walked across the school made sure as
now at what point was it a choice if it
was what the grown-ups are doing at what
point was a choice if it was with the
cool ones the cool crowd or doing or
wearing what about the other choices
that you just let happen the people you
surround yourself with because they
share the same background from the same
hometown went to the same school no room
for challenge no room for change and
it’s so easy to stick with them and what
about the other things that started
being forced and then became a choice at
what point did they stop being forced
and became a choice the piano classes
the temple the mosque the church visits
the ballet classes or vice versa at what
point did some choices stopped being a
choice I started being forced because
you’re expected to finish what you’ve
started
you’re expected to graduate you’re
expected to stay in that job that holds
financial security and so what what
points to our stories stop being what we
tell ourselves that we are I start being
what we are told we are an average
adults makes thirty five thousand
choices conscious choices per day that
adds up to a quarter four quadrillion of
human choices are made across the globe
daily now most of those those choices
are not groundbreaking will not change
your life significantly affect someone
else’s or the rest of the world but some
choices well and I invite you to think
about those choices now let’s fast
forward to 2013 when I first landed in
Canada in Vancouver I was fully covered
up it was only face and palms and every
person that I’ve encountered every
person who have I met and asked me about
why do I cover my hair why do I wear the
veil I will answer that it’s my choice
yes I’ll explain the religious reasons
yes I’ll explain the scientific reasons
but I would also say it’s my choice I do
not have the religious beliefs telling
me that I should wear it and I’m wearing
self-realization and the start of
introspection and it was all caused by
white tank top and shorts I was in
Vancouver rape relief and almond shelter
in a training session and you are
sitting in a circle and the exercise was
to stand up if you resonate with a
statement and the last thread one was to
stand up if you’ve ever been called so I
stood up the girl beside me stood up as
well as all the woman in the circle but
the girl beside me stood up shorts tank
top face palms and in that moment in
that space there I was advocating that
it is a man’s problem not a woman’s
problem that we should stop
victimization that it’s not her fault of
what she wears
where she’s at and at what time stop
victimization but there it was
fully covered to protect myself from men
denim shorts white tank top face palms
and in my head there was this loud voice
and it went something like this
hello this is such a cool fun fact Amal
you are the number one hypocrite in your
sandals drip denim shorts white tank top
face palms and in my head the voice kept
going I kept telling myself that it’s my
sandals trip denim shorts white tank top
face palms and in that moment in that
space I realized that how is it my
choice if I never made the decision this
is not a story about the veil this is a
story about the realization of the
choices that we make that are
predetermined by the power of fate and
chance rather than the power of choice
because as it turns out those choices
that communicate our story that
communicate who we are also communicate
that we belong to a group that we belong
to a community an environment a certain
set of social norms a culture and those
all play as a big factor into the
reasons that you base your choices on
thus the concept of one’s through a
choice is most likely not composed by an
individual but by a collective of
reasons provided by the collective and
so why do you do what you do why are
those your choices what are your reasons
behind those choices are those reasons
given to you
threat to you or created by you how do
we find our reasons how do we create our
own reasons to be able to create our own
choices the answer can be here in that
loud voice
the answer is found here it is what you
hold as your values and I bet that you
have values from growing up in a certain
way and I invite you to introspect those
values and keep what serves you the best
and so when I was in third grade and it
was choosing to close down and now I’m
opening up like this but then I hear
about everybody’s stories and their
third grade stories and how open they
are but I see them now confining to the
box that is Canada confining to the
reasons given to them in that box and I
leave it to you turn to sand that box
and investigate your own box I’m not
talking about the choices that you make
there the cheesecake brownie that you
ate I’m talking of going back to the
values that create who you are the way I
opened up was through going back to my
own values creating my own values
choosing my own values and basing my
choices on them prior to prepping for
this talk only three people in kelowna
know about the story I’m about to share
with you and so making the choice to
give this talk was not easy why would I
share such private information such
private memories with the world why do I
declare to the other side of the world
of my current choices why do I deal with
the consequences that may come with that
one of which is not being able to go
back to the 30 million palm trees and up
until last week I thought I’m gonna
stand on stage and use my history use my
story as an example to make people
understand of the normal things that we
think are normal that needs to be
disrupted
I’m letting UN into my 18 years old self
that have just said yes to ours then the
perfect marriage proposal
and so I celebrated my 19th birthday
with a fiance and my 20th birthday who
the husband if I did not disrupt I would
not be standing here today and so making
those choices that we are told that we
should not make can be hard painful
messy it is unknown and it is unfamiliar
and insecure world before all comes
together and it well so making the
choice of opening up for letting go
finally letting yourself fall in love
again leaving that religion dropping
school can be sloppy but can also be
rewarding and I invite you and I
challenge you to leave this room and
take that step but all starts here the
all starts here here here and then
amplifies thank you very much
[Applause] [Music]